I love love love the Mexican sugar skulls on the cover, but they are $30 for 3. And they're inedible.

The "Devil Chocolates" sound interesting: They are "sinful" dark chocolate filled with spicy apricot. When it comes to fruit and chocolate, for me, it's hit and miss: Strawberries, yes; raspberries, no. But apricot I haven't tried.

The chocolate skulls — some with edible silver — are my favorite thing on this page, though the marzipan figurines on the bottom are adorable. Not that I like marzipan.

Vampire cookies for the Twihard in your life! As for the jack o' lantern cake, it's milk chocolate cake layered with "lush chocolate cream filling, frosed with rich vanilla buttercream and wrapped in orange-tinted white chocolate." Oh, the picket fence and cat are chocolate, too. Lots of detail, maybe that's why it's $140.

Pumpkin cheesecake with graham cracker crust? Yes please. Throw in some chocolate covered caramel apples, as well.

I've never heard of Cream-nuts before, but since they are peanut butter blended with white chocolate, mixed with chopped pecans and then "enrobed" in milk or dark chocolate, they might be my new favorite candy.

The cupcake giftbox sounds ridiculously awesome, since it has spicy pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon cream frosting; chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting and Madagascar bourbon vanilla cupcakes with vanilla buttercream frosting. But nine for $55? Truly frightening. I think I'd rather have the Trick or Treat bag with 40 bucks worth of candy.

Wait a minute: when deciding between cupcakes and candy, there's no need to choose! Long live cupcake candy.

Lastly a pumpkin cake "almost too pretty to cut." Vanilla spice cake layered with praline buttercream and chocolate fudge — under a white chocolate shell. Guaranteed to force you to reset your New Year's resolutions.

Dean & Decluca [Official Site]

Earlier: Halloween In 2-D Looks Frighteningly Delicious
Harry, David, Dean & Deluca: Chocolate Pagan Easter Symbols And $6,000 Caviar
Williams-Sonoma: A Pre-Thanksgiving Feast For The Eyes
The Naked Chef: Pfaelzer Brothers Peddle Hot Food Porn

Okay, all you closet goths: Black dishes! Gorgeous, no? Try not to think about the fact that the champagne flutes are $180 for a set of two. Think how awesome they'd look on a crisp white tablecloth with some deep purple grapes and My Bloody Valentine playing in the background.

Holy sweet tooth, it's a Bat Cake! That is not paper, that is purple and black tinted white chocolate. Decadent. Which is why it's $160.

The Ghost Cake is cute, but let's focus on those Halloween Pops: "Big chunks of ooey gooey handmade chocolate chip fudge with marshmallows get the 'stick treatment' before being dipped in Belgian chocolate and decorated by hand." Uh, what's that the kids say on the interwebs? WANT. $44 for a set of 4.

The Trick Or Treat bag is okay, but the cookies shaped like kids in costumes are awesome. I want to bite that little devil's head off. Fourteen cookies, $65.

Yum, that $120 Pumpkin Cake is "six layers of vanilla spiced cake with praline butter cream and a center layer of rich chocolate fudge." And that thing that looks like a crate of apples? It's an Apple Crate Cake. No, really. It's a chocolate cake with marzipan apples on top. It's also $200. Meanwhile, I am seriously considering ordering six cookies and eight brownies right now: $40.

Whoa. A large feast is $520. You get a turkey, porcini stuffing with gravy, brussels sprouts au gratin, bourbon sweet potatoes with almonds and cranberry sauce with cardamom. Plus cream cheese biscuits. I just want to dip my finger in those sweet potatoes, how much would that cost?

These "cranky" jack o' lantern chocolates are so damn cute. $36 for 16.

Here's Halloween for grownups: White chocolate pumpkin with ganache-filled figs and a bottle of red wine. Costume optional.

Dean & Deluca [Official Site]

The cover of the Harry & David catalog claims, "The Easter Bunny shops here," but we have it on good authority that his credit cards get declined.

Wow, a nine-inch solid chocolate bunny. The perfect thing to give to kids right before they're going to have to sit through a sermon at church! Or is it the reward for enduring the service?

Some people probably find it really cute that the rabbit's head comes off and there's candy inside his skull and body; I find it terrifying and creepy.

Isn't cabbage the pagan symbol for vagina? That's where Cabbage Patch Kids come from, right? Also: Egg candles? Really? Can't you envision a scenario in which kids are like, "Why are you burning my Easter Eggs?" And crying? Loudly?

Flowers+chocolate=Good idea. But if someone ever gave me flowers in a picket fence, I'd be vaguely insulted. There's something repressive, apron-stringy and June Cleaver-ish about it. Not in a good way.

Ooh, cheesecake sampler! Wouldn't you rather have this than the nine-inch chocolate bunny? When do we celebrate the goddess of cheesecake?

Giant Cookie Basket from the Better Cookie Bureau, you have my vote in this year's election for Most Delicious Concept.

It's hilarious that the Easter Morning basket comes with a cookie shaped and iced to look like a carrot. Fake healthy! Oh, but look: In addition to a load of candy, you also get a couple of pears and an apple. Life is about balance.

The chicks are super cute, but just for styling purposes: No price listed!

You can, however, get a chicken pot pie. Yum.

Those marzipan critters masquerading with bunny ears should be funny, but they're just not. The chocolate quail eggs are sort of puke-inducingly realistic, as though you can smell the yolk and salmonella through the page.

Sugar is a building block of nutrition, right?

You know, of all the things you can have FedExed to your home, a pound of fish eggs ringing up at $5,900 is really baller-type shit.

For the love of God. If lusting after that Devil's Food cake is a sin, who among us is not guilty?

Pagan symbols aside: Why is that chocolate rabbit driving a car?

[Harry & David]
[Dean & Deluca]

Earlier: Free People: Someone Watched The Darjeeling Limited Before Booking This Photo Shoot
'Wooden Soldier' Tortures Your WASPy Spawn With Horrifying, Anachronistic Duds
J. Jill Vs. J. Crew: It's A Fashion Showcase Showdown
Pottery Barn, Anthropologie & West Elm: Bedding Porn For Sleepyheads