• Karl Lagerfeld gave SpongeBob SquarePants a makeover for a charity auction, resulting in this little charmer, which sold for €1,000. [WWD]

• Zac Posen, who two weeks ago announced a lower-priced line, Z Spoke, will do a line for Target in the U.S. (He already designed a capsule collection for Target's Australian outpost in 2008.) Zac Posen for Target Go International will hit stores on April 25 of next year. Rodarte for Target goes on sale this December, at last. [WWD]
• Even though it's late November in sunny London, Kate Moss is allegedly planning an outdoor dinner party. Her nefarious plan? The supermodel, whose recent choice, in an interview, of a notorious eating disorder sufferers' slogan as her motto we highlighted, wants to be photographed eating food. [Mirror]
• The verdict on "Black Friday" post-Thanksgiving sales: an "unexceptional yet decent" $41.2 billion was spent. [WWD]
• Both potential buyers of the bankrupt house of Christian Lacroix failed to meet a new, extended deadline to provide the bankruptcy court with guarantees of their capital. If the company is not sold, the current owners, the Falic Group, will likely go forward with their preferred scenario, in which only 11 key staff are retained, and the brand is either auctioned off to cover debts, or turned into a licensing machine for scarves and perfumes. [AFP]
• Patrick Dempsey stars with his wife, Jillian, in his new Avon perfume ad. Because this scent is "about two people and the power of the relationship." [People]
• Sonia Rykiel's H&M lingerie line will be launched this December with a fashion show at the Grand Palais. The models will walk on moving floats that travel around a fantasy Parisian streetscape, dominated by a 30 meter Eiffel Tower made from 25 km of wire and fairy lights. Trees will have balloon canopies, and the Café de Flore will be mocked up as the Café Flirt. Also, imagine 6 meter poodles and 2.5 meter bunnies. Best part? It'll be streamed live on the mighty Internet. [SB]
• The pink-and-black '50s-themed collection goes on sale this Saturday in more than 1,500 H&M boutiques worldwide, as well as Rykiel's own stores. Prices range from €7.95 - €19.95 for underwear, and €79.95 for sleepwear. [WWD]
• Morrissey is collaborating with Stella McCartney on a line of vegan footwear. McCartney says the shoes could be in stores next year. [Daily Mail, 2nd item]
• Helena Christensen, on the term of art 'supermodel': it's "silly and cartoonish, but to be a part of that whole group of girls — at the end of the day, I was there. I did it. I am a million experiences richer." [Telegraph]
• It's a comeback for Aussie model Catherine McNeil. McNeil will be on the cover of next month's Australian Vogue, a casting move that her booker says gives any model "credibility" — oddly implying that McNeil needs some. The 20-year-old has been on an extended break from international modeling, but is expected to rejoin the moil next show season, in January. [News.com.au]
• Mulberry creative director Emma Hill, who previously designed accessories for Marc Jacobs and the Gap, on the heyday of 'it' bags: "I was partly responsible, at Marc Jacobs, for the It bag thing. I realized that we'd made it when I saw knock-offs on the street corner. But a trend like that squashes people's individuality. If you're all trying to get the same thing, it's not very special. There are possibly more things to worry about in life than waiting two years for a handbag. I think those years are over." [ToL]
• Jenny Sanford applied to trademark her own name in early July, shortly after the June revelation that her husband, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, was hiking the Appalachian trail enjoying two magnificent parts of another woman. Jenny Sanford applied for the trademark intending to use it to market a line of clothing, mugs, and other household items, to be sold through her website. The trademark application has not yet been approved. [State]
• Christian Audigier is opening an Ed Hardy store in London this week, the U.K.'s first. [Guardian]
• Victoria's Secret is a popular target for professional shoplifters. Four women pepper-sprayed a sales associate in Tennessee this month in order to boost 30 pairs of underwear. [UPI]
• Due to Dubai's debt crisis, the American investors who recently and separately bought significant chunks of Barneys New York's debt, Ron Burkle and Richard Perry, might end up controlling the Dubai-owned company. If they do, they should probably convince someone there to hire a C.E.O. All the best companies have one. [Dealbook]
• Pierre Cardin, 87, was briefly hospitalized in Paris for exhibiting falling blood pressure and a slow pulse. Cardin was en route to Greece, where he was holding a fashion show. As if this were 1963, or something. [AFP]
• French eBay users are banned from selling or buying certain branded perfumes, like Christian Dior and Kenzo. A court in Paris has fined the auction site 1.7 million Euros for not enforcing the law effectively enough. [BBC]
• The market in exotic skins, like alligator, has been among the worst affected by the recession. (It's not hard to imagine why, given a pair of alligator Manolos can easily run $4,000.) The farmers who raise the gators in Louisiana, Florida, and Georgia are paid for their troubles by tanneries, who then sell the processed hides to fashion companies. But while farmers complain that prices offered by tanneries have fallen below the cost of even raising the animals, fashion companies say the reduction in the cost of finished skins has been minimal. Which major fashion brand significantly expanded into alligator tanneries during the boom years? Hermès. The other thing you should know about this article is that a man named Tommy Fletcher, whose work involves going into bayous to fight mother alligators with a pole and frequent bites when handling the live young, says that running an alligator farm is "like being married to Miss America. You get all the benefits of the hugs and kisses, but she's mighty high-maintenance." [NYTimes]

• And now, the cold, hard, retail reality sets in: Neiman Marcus and Net-A-Porter are dropping Ungaro for Spring. Barneys and Saks also aren't ordering. Lindsay Lohan and Mounir Moufarrige, what have you wrought! [Style.com]

• Ashley Tisdale does not yearn for a clothing line. "I've started a production company; I guess that's kind of my clothing line," says the actress. [WWD]
• The incredible Alexander McQueen shoes — both the bulbous hoof ones, and the ones that look like some piece of anthropomorphic weaponry out of eXistenZ, which Lady Gaga wore in the video for "Bad Romance" — are apparently a hit. The designer says he's been inundated with calls from women wanting to buy the so-called "Alien" shoes, albeit some who are interested in them as art pieces. The process by which the shoes are made is protected by copyright, says a spokesperson for the brand. No word on whether a commercial version will be produced for wide sale; McQueen is mulling a charity auction for the runway samples. [Grazia]
• Carlos Falchi's line of handbags for Target is in stores now through December 27th. The designer says, if he didn't have his current job, "I'd like to be a Brazilian cowboy." [TFI]
• Victoria Beckham's people are denying the rumors she is planning, with Simon Fuller, to open a modeling agency — perhaps a U.S. branch of Storm, in which Fuller holds a controlling stake — in New York. "There is absolutely no truth in the story regarding Victoria Beckham and Simon Fuller opening a modeling agency in New York," says her spokesman. "Victoria is concentrating all her efforts on her fashion line and her family." [Vogue UK]
• Daniel Lalonde, president of Louis Vuitton, basically confirmed Lara Stone will be the face of the spring campaign. [The Cut]
• Betsey Johnson is redesigning her stores. Gone will be the hot-pink walls, replaced with white walls and checkerboard floors, to better display the clothes. [Racked]
• Dooney & Bourke co-founder Frederic Bourke has been sentenced to 366 days in prison and a $1 million fine for his role in a failed scheme to bribe Azeri officials into privatizing Azerbaijan's oil company, which would have essentially deprived the country of profits from its greatest national resource. Bourke is appealing. [WWD]
• Model Karmen Pedaru spent a year as goalie on an Estonian national soccer team. [W]
• Funny, the only item this list of How To Look Like Gisele Bundchen is missing is: being born to look like Gisele Bundchen. (OK, so Nars Orgasm is bog standard by now, but $475 moisturizer? Come on.) [Blackbook]
• The BHV — pretty much the most awesome department store in Paris — is getting Beth Ditto and Jean-Charles de Castelbajac to do its holiday windows. Meanwhile, stately old Printemps has Natalia Vodianova. [WWD]
• The British Fashion Council will give an award to the winner of a public vote on who best "embodies the spirit of London." Nominees include Alexa Chung, Kate Moss, and Vivienne Westwood. [BFC]
• Jeffrey Monteiro might be taking over as head designer at Bill Blass. [WWD]
• Liz Lange is launching a lifestyle shopping site, apparently kind of like Gilt crossed with Daily Candy. [Crains]
• People are trying to save Luella on the Internet. [Fashionista]
• The Gossip Girl timeline is apparently now forever divided by the caesura of the Threesome; say Before The Threesome or After The Threesome, and everyone immediately knows what you mean. The boys on the show have been wearing a lot of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's line, Elizabeth & James, People notes. [People]
• Jason Wu is doing a capsule collection for Tse this spring. [WWD]
• Anthropologie is the most profitable of the three Urban Outfitters brands, quarterly results reveal. [TS]
• Marie Osmond is licensing her name to a fashion and home decor line. Every last piece in the Marie Lifestyle Collection will retail for under $100. Expect to see it in stores later this month. [UPI]
• Donna Karan's West Indies home is currently making us cry bitter tears of envy from our very black souls. [SB]

• Heidi Klum is not Superwoman, okay? She's not walking in the Victoria's Secret runway show a mere month after giving birth to her fourth child. She's just going to host it. Sheesh. Some people have such unrealistic expectations. [E!]

• Meanwhile, this year's angels have been named: Candice Swanepoel, Chanel Iman, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Emanuela de Paula, and Lindsay Ellingson have all been welcomed into the fold. [SB]
• In other important lingerie news, some people who sell bras in London say that 1950s-style pointy bras are gaining popularity. However, none of the equipment pictured looks that pointy. [Daily Mail]
• Tom Ford says he struggled with depression after leaving Gucci, in 2004. "I started to sink emotionally, spiritually. I became a little bit lost. Leaving Gucci, it intensified because I had been able to cling to my job and to my work and to my identity as a successful fashion designer, and all of a sudden that was gone. It forced me to really think, Well, what am I, who am I, what am I about? It took me a bit of time to figure that out. I think this happens to most people in their life if they're insightful enough to indulge it and to get through to the other side." [W]
• This week's episode of Project Runway was shot partly at the Getty Center, and the challenge for the contestants is to create outfits that somehow reflect the museum and its architecture. There's a free screening at 7 tonight at the museum. [LATimes]
• Lady Gaga is now backtracking from her earlier claims, to Flare magazine, in which she said she would do a clothing line "at some point." The singer told the Accessories Council awards gala that she and her styling team aren't into that: "We will never do a line; we are not an economy." Then Toms founder Blake Mycoskie reminded the audience, gathered to celebrate, in Diane Von Furstenberg's words "friends you can carry with you and they make you feel better," that "Shoes, for 40 percent of the world, are not an accessory. They're a necessity." [Style.com]
• 50 Cent's torso appears in all its smoothly airbrushed glory for his new fragrance campaign, which he revealed to People. [People]
• Stephanie Winston-Wolkoff, who, until this July, worked at Vogue and essentially ran the annual Met Costume Institute Gala, has just been confirmed as the new director of fashion week at Lincoln Center. [FWD]
• There's news about Isaac Mizrahi's QVC collection, which goes on sale December 4, but we know what we all really are curious about is the cheesecake that will be sold. It's made by Junior's, the top looks to be printed with tartan in edible inks, and the crust is chocolate-flavored cookies. It'll be $40. Also for sale will be an Isaac Mizrahi banana nut loaf and chocolate-chip cookies. Yum. [WWD]
• Sociology major and current Prada face Kendra Spears, on embarrassing moments: "Well, during a hurried interview backstage an investigatory journalist asked me what I liked to do when I was at home and I said, 'nothing too commotious.' Afterwards, I realized commotious isn't even a word." And on jobs she held, pre-modeling: "I worked part time as an assistant to the owner of a company called LiftPort which was (and may still be) in the forefront of technologies, mostly carbon nanotubes, to build an elevator into space." [W]
• Because of the weak economy, more parents are trying to get agency representation for modeling and talent work for their children. Also because of the weak economy, there are fewer jobs to go around, and those jobs are still offered are less well-paying. [WSJ]
• Rumor has it that John Galliano is designing and decorating this year's Christmas tree for London's Claridge's hotel. [Style.com]
• Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders of Absolutely Fabulous are in the Marks & Spencer holiday ads. [Mirror]
• Designer Adam Lippes, who staffs his office with around 20 interns at any one time, says of them: "[I]t's rare to find an intern — especially one from a fashion school — that has good style. Because they try sooo hard, and it never works! You know?" Having been once dressed by an Adam Lippes intern who was wearing a kind of 1980s Medusa costume, with a corset, we are tempted to agree, but for chrissakes, Lippes, they work for you for free. (Also: look who's talking.) [The Cut]
• Photographer Jean-Baptiste Mondino is against France's proposed retouching laws, which would require digitally altered images to bear labels stating that they have been, well, digitally altered. He tells Libération Next, "The photos of old Hollywood? Retouched! The iconic image of Che Guevara? Retouched! All the photos taken by Richard Avedon of Marilyn Monroe? Retouched! And all of this before today's software existed, of course. Legs were lengthened using a wide angle; skins were smoothed through overexposure." Because using a wide-angle lens is exactly the same as scissoring one head onto another body and placing the Frankenstein creation into a separately shot background and then liquifying the nose a little and changing the light source and strength and whittling down the waist. [WWD]
• Christian Siriano's holiday collection for Payless has turned up online. Are these even supposed to bear any resemblance to what he shows with his runway collection anymore? [Payless]
• Jodi Arnold, starting with her resort collection, is changing the name of her line from MINT Jodi Arnold, to Jodi Arnold NYC. The designer, who has a new job working on a collaboration with The Limited, also just opened her first store, a pop-up in Greenwich village. [WWD]
• The son of the founder of Escada is one of the bidders — in a consortium with the former head of Gucci and the department store owners Borletti Group — for the bankrupt German house. They are offering $118.2 million. [Reuters]
• Steve Madden is not only not bankrupt, it's feeling pretty acquisitory. C.E.O. Edward Rosenfeld says the company is on the lookout for brands worth $30-$40 million, but could splurge on something worth up to $100 million. [TS]
• Valentino head Stefano Sassi, says everything at the house is just great!!! Nothing to see here!!! Doth the C.E.O. protest too much? [Reuters]
• Liz Claiborne's third quarter losses were even bigger than expected. This is the company's eighth consecutive quarter of losing money. [WSJ]

Of course, it's probably a little more complex than that. In the world that is food porn, sure, there are the carnivorous bears, the svelte sex kittens (Giada, Nigella), the asexual "moms" (Paula and Ina) and, of course, the Bad Boys (Anthony Bourdain, sometimes Mario and, it must be said, Flay.) All of these satisfy a different fantasy: comforting, aspirational, exciting.

It's not a shocker that the dude shows should get a "manly" host - Guy Fieri as resident carnivore is a believable and relatable eater, after all. Even Alton Brown takes cooking into the realm of scientific rather than aspirational in a way that seems, if not designed to appeal to, at least made not to alienate a male viewership by removing the domestic. And I get the larger point he's making: at the end of the day, people want their roles in place and their pretty ladies dainty. We don't want to see someone hot eating a really gross burger (unless, I guess, that's your thing - and it's gotta be someone's), and hypocritical society that we arem we probably don't want to see someone larger do so - Ina and Paula don't exactly tuck into their buttery concoctions on camera - which leaves, yes, the everydude.

But while I defer to Meatpaper's Chris Ying on most things fleshy, there are a couple of flaws with the argument. 1. Bourdain. The man eats insects and whale and fermented maggot - and say what one will, he's not unattractive. Indeed, "dashing" would be a better word. 2. Sandra Lee. Maybe the author's argument is confined to men, but Lee, whatever one may think of her aesthetic, checks all the boxes for conventional American attractiveness and, bar none, makes the weirdest and grossest food on television. Nauseous combinations of mixes and sodas, spice and jelly - all topped off by a lurid-colored original cocktail and served amidst a tablescape that feels like a bad trip on the Wonkatania.

Meatpaper
Unattractive Men Call For Unattractive Meat [Utne]

• Police are investigating Lindsay Lohan because she's accused of walking off with the jewels she wore during a photo shoot for British Elle. [The Sun]

• Madonna released a statement through her rep saying, "I am extremely grateful for the Supreme Court's ruling on my application to adopt Mercy James... I am ecstatic. My family and I look forward to sharing our lives with her." [Us]
• Yet another star of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here has been hospitalized. Janice Dickinson was rushed to a Costa Rican medical facility to treat an undisclosed illness. Previously, Heidi Pratt and Lou Diamond Phillips needed medical treatment. [New York Magazine]
• Jessica Alba will not be charged for putting shark posters all over Oklahoma City earlier this month because no one wants to prosecute her. [TMZ]
• A paparazzi says after taking pictures of Kevin Spacey working on the set of his new film Casino Jack he was thrown into some bushes by crew members and Spacey said, "Don't ever take my picture and fight with the crew." Assistants for the film say that the photographer actually started the incident by hitting a production assistant after he asked him to leave. [The Daily Express]
• Angelina Jolie recorded a PSA to draw attention to World Refugee Day on June 20. Angie says: "Refugees are the most vulnerable people on earth. Every day, they are fighting to survive. They deserve our respect. Please do not forget them. Remember them on this day." [Just Jared]
• News alert: Newly-single Megan Fox "wouldn't rule out" dating a British guy. [The Sun]
• Friends of Usher and Tameka Foster Raymond say their split comes as no surprise. One friend says, "As bad as this is gonna sound, it was never a matter of 'I wonder if they'll divorce,' but more like 'I wonder WHEN they'll divorce.'" Another pal adds, "They peaked before they even got married... Right after it was over, they started to drift apart. [Usher] just wasn't ready to settle down, at least not with her." [People]
• Kelis, who is nine months pregnant, has filed legal papers asking that her estranged husband Nas be order to give her spousal support, child support, and money for all pregnacy-related expenses. She says even though he's rich, he's completely cut her off ans she's out of money. "My survival is based on [Nas'] will at this time. If he does not want to pay for an expense, it does not get paid," says Kelis. [TMZ]
• After cancelling a show on Sunday Susan Boyle will rejoin the Britain's Got Talent tour tonight. "She had one rest day, but she will be back on stage tonight," says a tour rep. [Us]
• John Mayer and friend Rob Dyrdekwere spotted doing tequila shots at a Hollywood club before Mayer gave an impromptu performance. Mayer then Tweeted "In triage at Cedars with @Robdyrdek. When the contents of his stomach hit that silicon bag and we all saw it, we just broke into applause." But a source says it was all a hoax and Dyrdek didn't really have his stomach pumped. [People]
• In this video, Spencer Pratt explains that Jesus saved Al Roker's life, because if he hadn't been recently "saved by Jesus" he would have ripped the anchor head off for being "disrespectful" and "inappropriate" this morning on the Today show. [TMZ]
• For the third time in a week Miley Cyrus' people have had her hang up on a radio interview when a host asked a question that Disney hadn't approved. Miley claimed on her Twitter that, "a station goes over time I am IMMEDIATELY connected to the next station." [TMZ]
• Billy Ray Cyrus says the upcoming fourth season of Hannah Montana will be the last. "Quite frankly, I give a lot of credit to Miley for taking it to another year," said Cyrus. "She didn't want it to just end with whatever was the last episode we did. She wanted it to build to where there's a moral to the story, to where it doesn't just end and go away and that's it. She wanted there to be an official ending to Hannah Montana." [UPI]
• A photo of Robert De Niro and Anthony "Fat Andy" Ruggiano has surfaced, sparking rumors that he met with the late mobster who was involved in at least seven murders to research his role in Analyze This. De Niro says he doesn't recall taking the picture. [The Daily Express]
• T-shirt company Sledge USA wanted Carrie Prejean to model for the company even after she lost her crown, but Prejean didn't bother to show up for the job. [Perez Hilton]
• "Idol champ's lesbian hell." Kelly Clarkson has been single for several years and she says, "Those [lesbian rumours] are not helping me on the dating front! I prefer the boys. I'm extremely flattered when I do get hit on by girls and I think it's hot but I'm not into it. I like boys." [The Sun]
• For his upcoming debut album, Adam Lambert will work with RedOne, the producer behind Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" and "Just Dance." [E!]
• Bloomsbury Publishing released a statement denying allegations that J.K. Rowling copied "substantial parts of a 1987 book called The Adventures of Willy the Wizard — No 1 Livid Land by Adrian Jacobs for Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire. The statement said, "The allegations of plagiarism made today, Monday 15 June 2009, by the Estate of Adrian Jacobs are unfounded, unsubstantiated and untrue. This claim is without merit and will be defended vigorously." [Reuters]
• Are you dying to hear the new single from Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva? You can listen to it here: [People]
• Thandie Newton will teach acting classes at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. [The Daily Express]
• Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson, and others have filmed a new commercial for E!'s Drive Safe campaign that promotes having a designated driver. [E!]
• Carnie Wilson gave birth to a baby girl named Luciana Bella on Friday. She is the second daughter for Wilson and her husband Rob Bonfiglio. [People]
• Peaches Geldof was spotted leaving the Scientology Celebrity Center in New York with recruitment documents. [The Sun]
• Jordan and estranged husband Peter Andre have signed a deal to star in rival reality shows that will air at the same time on different networks to play out their divorce in public. [The Sun]
• Prince Ernst August of Hannover, husband of Caroline of Monaco, admitted that he hit a hotel owner in Kenya. A court previously ruled that he was guilty of beating the hotel owner with a metal object, but he says he only hit him with his hands. [CBS News]
• Alice Cooper says he would like to write an operatic movie starring himself. He said if he wasn't a musician he "would probably write movies, but why not put that to music to make an operative thing on stage where you can portray this guy? ... Alice has always been the villain so Alice can easily play this character." [The Star]
• In case you're wondering what it's like to be in the presence of Robert Pattinson, a New York magazine intern risked life and limb to report on the scene around the area where he is currently filming in New York. He says: "I tried to take cell-phone pics, but I was thwarted by packs of girls literally crying... People threw roses at him, took pictures, gasped. He smiled and then had to SPRINT into his trailer. He looked skinnier, paler - yet better! - in person." [New York Magazine]
• "I don't mind getting older; I mind getting uglier. You know – knees, disease, old age, death. I'm a wreck. Frankly, who else cares? No one else does. No one else in the world is out there saying, 'It's a tragedy she's getting older.'
  So why bring yourself down?" — Chrissie Hynde [The Telegraph]
• Bruce Willis is half-naked in most of the photos for his new W magazine shoot with Emma Heming, but that wasn't the original plan. He explains, "When we were getting ready to do the shoot and we were talking about the concept, they said to me, 'We see you with a lot of clothes, a lot of layers.' And I said, 'Great!' And they said, 'Emma's going to be scantily clad,' and I said, 'As it should be!' And then we get there and Steven says, 'We're gonna change it up, we'll put Emma in a lot of clothes and we'll have you in less clothes.' And I went, 'I gotta get some weights!'" [W]

• John Mayer on his breakup with Jen Aniston: "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met. People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Hmm, does Mayer The Player have commitmentphobia? [People, UPI]
• John Mayer also says: "I'm sorry that the story's not interesting. But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great." [OK!]
• Um, there's also video of John making these statements. He actually seems emotional. [TMZ]
• Okay, this report says that though they're going through a rocky time, John and Jen are not over. Then again, it also claims that "the birth of the Brangelina twins has got her down." Ugh. [The Sun]
• This report says that money was an issue with Jen and John. "Jen was tired of paying for everything," says a source. "Cobwebs come flying out of (Mayer's) wallet when he opens it. John liked living like a movie star when he was with her. Jen would never say anything, but you could tell it irritated her." [MSNBC]
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi tied the knot! The private ceremony took place at their home in Los Angeles. There were 19 guests, including both of their mothers. [Yahoo News]

• Ellen and Portia both wore Zac Posen. They exchanged rings by Neil Lane. The couple said handwritten vows. Sniff. [People]
• Oooh, you can see Portia's fluffy pink dress here. A source called it a "Cinderella tutu." [Us]
• A crowd of 6,000 people gathered on Chicago's South Side to remember Bernie Mac on Saturday. Samuel L. Jackson spoke at the church and said: "He never turned that kid down for an autograph. He always had time to shake a hand. He was always that kid from Chicago who wanted to make everybody happy and everybody laugh." [CNN]
• Meanwhile, a Presbyterian Church in Memphis is being criticized for holding a memorial for Scientologist Isaac Hayes. [UPI]
• Madonna's 50th birthday was Saturday. She spent the day praying at the Kabbalah center before hitting a London nightclub. [Mirror]
• In other news, doesn't look like Madonna will be adopting that little girl in Malawi. Although we'll surely hear something different tomorrow. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile: Guy Ritchie's script adviser has been charged with possessing more than £100,000 worth of cocaine and cannabis. At least he knows his stuff. [Daily Mail]
• Tyra Banks kept her audience waiting for two hours for a taping of "Celebrating Black Models, Past, Present and Future" while she was backstage "giggling, snacking and chatting with the crew." At the end of the show, Tyra and some other models released black balloons, which, as we all know, kill sea life. Anyway, a source says the whole show was "self-indulgent, narcissistic crap." [Page Six]
• Phil Collins has divorced third wife Orianne Cevey after six years of marriage and two children. He's paid her £25 million, more than Paul McCartney gave Heather Mills. [Mirror]
• Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe suffers from dyspraxia, a neurological problem which impairs movement. His spokesperson says his condition is mild and "at worst manifests itself in an inability to tie his shoe laces and bad handwriting." [Daily Mail]
• Courtenay Semel is spilling details about her relationship with Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart," she says. Apparently Courtnenay and LL would do lines of coke, then go home and "fall into bed together." You know, Star was on to LL's "roomate" Courtenay months ago! [News Of The World]
• Courtenay also claims that Lindsay slept with a bunch of dudes to suppress her lesbian urges. [The Sun]
• Was Peaches Geldof's quickie Vegas wedding a publicity stunt for the groom's rock band? The group, Chester French, was unknown in the UK before the wedding; now they have five gigs: Sheffield tomorrow night, followed by Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh and London. [Mirror]
• Peaches has gone to visit her father, who will surely quiz her about what the hell is going on. [The Sun]
• By the by, Peaches' new hubs doesn't know who Sir Bob Geldof is, so that should go over well. [Mirror]
• Oh, dear. There's a picture of Peaches licking the face of Mark The Cobrasnake. [Daily Mail]
• Did Peaches get married because she was depressed? Is she still scarred from the death of her mother eight years ago? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has become obsessed with The Wizard Of Oz and is using a sample of music from the film in one of her new tracks. Clearly, she loves the scene that's all, "Poppies… poppies!" [The Sun]
• Gossip Girl gossip: The first season comes out on DVD this week, with an audiobook narrated by Christina Ricci. Except no one likes audiobooks, especially not GG fans. [NY Times]
• Bill Murray jumped out of a plane on Friday. The 57-year-old actor leapt from 13,500 feet with members of the Army Golden Knights Parachute Team. When Murray landed, he said: "I really feel like having a drink." [AP]
• Paris Hilton's extensions were extremely obvious on the red carpet at a recent event. [UPI]
• View said extensions here. [ONTD]
• Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds To Mars, is being sued by its label, Virgin Records, for not delivering three albums as required by contract. More time in the studio, less time on eyeliner, guys. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital — and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which oft-photographed socialite is being forced to get a job by her parents? She looks rich but is really broke, and is now looking for modeling gigs." [Page Six]
• Drama in the Black Eyed Peas! Fergie's too busy shooting a movie to commit to a tour schedule. [Page Six]
• Celebs at the DNC? George Clooney, Madonna, Kanye West, Scarlett Johansson, Susan Sarandon, Spike Lee, Quentin Tarantino and Matt Damon all wanna be there when Barack Obama says, "Yes, I can." [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian performed with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas on Friday and used iChat to show boyfriend Reggie Bush what she looked like in her costume. Yeah, she knows how to video chat. Be afraid. [People]
• Everything you need to know about Lo Bosworth's role on The Hills: "A subtle intelligence is Lo's saving grace. It's all there in her withering gaze, usually directed away from her target, and possibly in whatever she's always typing into her cellphone." [L.A. Times]
• Sixteen-year-old Georgia Jagger won't let mom Jerry Hall wear anything inappropriate. "I did take all her miniskirts. I told her one night that her skirt was too short – she came down the stairs and I was like, 'God, Mum, you are 50.'" [Daily Mail]
• Entourage star Emmanuelle Chriqui was one of the many patrons of an L.A. nightclub who came out coughing when someone set off pepper spray. [TMZ]
• Mark Frith, editor of Heat magazine, has a book about what it's like to run a tabloid readers love and stars hate. An excerpt: "Jude Law's lawyer calls again. 'We've reason to believe you're planning to run some photographs that you don't have permission to run. When does the magazine print?' 'It already has.' Silence. Then he tells me our lawyers will be getting a letter." [Daily Mail]
• Somebody stole stuff out of the Dancing With The Stars van when it was in Roseville, MN. [UPI]
• Is Avril Lavigne too sexy for Malaysia? [Yahoo News]
• Patrick Swayze continues to smoke. [The Sun]
• Robert Wagner has talked to a friend about the night Natalie Wood died. [Times of London]
• Headline of the day: "Even when he was kissing me, Warren Beatty could not resist staring at himself in the mirror." [Daily Mail]
• "I'd like an Oscar, I think, and I'd also like to have been the face of a big cosmetics company, like Chanel or one of the others. You know what, I am actually going to say I'd like an Oscar nomination rather than an Oscar. I don't want to jinx it." — Emma Roberts. [News.com.au]
• "I saw The Dark Knight. I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved The Prestige but didn't understand The Dark Knight. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character… I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high-brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie. You know what? Fuck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from." — Robert Downey Jr. [MSNBC]

We guess Bobby De Niro doesn't call any more, huh?

Still, we'll always have our memories......

[sad, sad, sad]

She may not have made a popular choice with her stupid ass husband, but First Lady Laura Bush sure knows how to pick a dress. Lady Laura and two other guests showed up at this year's annual White House holiday reception in the same festive bright red getup by Oscar de la Renta. All three looked like mothers-of-the bride at a southern Baptist Christmas wedding. At least Laura had the good sense to slip into something a little more comfortable leaving the two other ladies in red to fight it out for the "Who Wore it Best." http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_340210001.html