So, Lady Gaga debuted a brand-new song at a fashion show. A bass-thumping, German-speaking, synth-friendly track whose title happens to be a word you can't say on radio in America — at least, not in English. Oh, scheiße. Let's analyze.

Here are 29 covers from the hallowed, heavy September fashion issues (click to soak it all in). So how do Vogue, Elle, and the smaller titles stack up? Let's put September to a full statistical analysis.

• Christy Turlington says, "There's nothing rewarding about modeling. It was a fun opportunity that allowed me to see the world but spiritually and intellectually there is nothing rewarding about the profession at all."

• Cristiano Ronaldo lends his abs to an Armani campaign. Excellent timing. [TLF]
• So. Gisele Bündchen just after she had a baby looks just like Gisele Bündchen when she'd never had a baby. [Vogue UK]

After tracking diversity on the runways for several seasons, we took off last September because we thought the fashion industry was finally coming to its senses. Models of color were getting booked! How disappointing, then, to tally this season's numbers.

• Creator of this season's mightiest shoes, Alexander McQueen, is suing Steve Madden. McQueen's lawyers say the only reason the Madden is a knock-off and not a pure counterfeit is the omission of the logo'd zipper pull. (L-R: McQueen, Madden.) [WWD]

• "I've thought about clothing and jewelry lines," says Usher. "But fragrance stays on when everything else comes off." [People]
• Bottom of the barrel? For $8, American Apparel will sell you a bag of fabric scraps. [BF]

• This speaks for itself: Win A Chance To Design Lindsay Lohan's Leggings. [FabSugar]
• Similarly exciting is news that Juicy Couture is launching a perfume called "Couture Couture." At a certain frequency of repetition, "couture" actually loses all meaning! [WWD]

• Kim Kardashian is ticked Us used a picture of her alongside a story about Forever 21's just-launched plus-size line. "I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things," Kardashian protested. [PerezHilton]

• Who will win the Council of Fashion Designers of America's Womenswear Designer of the Year award, the "Best Picture" of fashion? The nominees are: Marc Jacobs, Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein, and Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler (who tied last year with Oscar de la Renta.) Bets? [WWD, sub…

But at least Pete's not naked.