• Is Sean Penn the unofficial liaison between Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez? Penn visited Chavez in Caracas on Wednesday and apparently the Venezuelan president told him:

"They gave [Obama] the Nobel Prize — very well, now he should earn it." [Page Six]

• Britney Spears is using Twitter, Twitpic and Twitvid to promote her new single, "3" — there's a micro snippet of the video at the link. [LA Times]
• Ashton Kutcher's best friend is a rabbi named Yehuda Berg from the Kabbalah center. [People]
• Who will host the Oscars in 2010? Hugh Jackman has turned the job down. These are random choices, but I'd love to see Amy Poehler or Wanda Sykes. Or both. [Variety]
• Nanny Stephanie Santoro says that Jon Gosselin was suicidal at the thought of Hailey Glassman breaking up with him: "He said he was going to kill himself… He said he was going to end it all … he couldn't handle it anymore." Breakdown in 3…2… [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin plans to publicly apologize "in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt" at the West Side Synagogue in NYC on Sunday. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, word is that Jon Gosselin/Nadya Suleman show is "definitely on." A source says:"Both Jon and Nadya are each looking at bringing in close to $1 million for doing it." [Gatecrasher]
• Did you see Derek Jeter kiss Michelle Obama the other night? [NY Post]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson money problem. This time it's Leonard Rowe, who says he was MJ's manager of the singer. He's filed a creditors claim for $51,218. [TMZ]
• Wow, John Landis — who directed the "Thriller" video — says Michael Jackson's estate owes him for $400,000; a production company which dealt with the "Thriller" video says it's owed more than $1,000,000; and the producer of the "Thriller" video wants more than a million as well. [TMZ]
• By the by, the Michael Jackson movie will be up for Academy Award consideration. [Mirror]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson is "worth more dead than when he was alive." [NY Post]
• Taylor Squared: Going strong. [Page Six]
• Wait, what? Ne-Yo sings on The Princess And The Frog soundtrack? How very Jazz Age New Orleans. [ONTD]
• Amanda Peet was burglarized by a sassy character. [Page Six]
• Heroes is winding down; low ratings has NBC thinking a "final chapter" is the next way to go. [NY Post]
• Charlize Theron will star in Mad Max: Fury Road. That's right, a new Mad Max flick! No word on whether Mel Gibson is involved, but Brit cutie Tom Hardy is in the flick. [Variety]
• Reese Witherspoon will star in and produce a screenplay called Rule #1 — about a New York woman who befriends a Puerto Rican girl with attention deficit disorder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What the world needs now: Men In Black 3. [Reuters]
• David Spade got $200,000 for that Tommy Boy DirecTV commercial with the late Chris Farley. [Page Six]
• Sad face: Dennis Hopper has prostate cancer. He's canceling all travel plans to focus on treatment and is in a "special program" at USC. Be well! [AP]
• Jackie Collins listens to Mariah Carey, John Mayer… and Jay-Z. [Independent]
• "Whenever I'm in the recording studio or rehearsing and I'm not convinced about the way it sounds, I know because my body doesn't react to the music. So I always ask, Hey, am I moving? Are my hips moving? My hips don't lie." — One of 10 answers to 10 questions for Shakira. [Time]
• "I know it gets sensationalized when I say, 'I was very close to death', but I was. It was a scary time. It's scarier since people like Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger have been popping their clogs. pretty much thought 'Is this worth it?' It was obviously not making me happy. The definition of insanity is repeating the same things and expecting a different result. At the time I thought, with the kicking and the rehab, maybe there's other things in life?" — Robbie Williams. [News.com.au]
• "I haven't gone back since because I'm afraid… I'd never get sober for one thing, and to have to run around in a dress. . . it's cold up there!" — Mel Gibson on why he hasn't returned to Scotland since Braveheart. [Daily Mail]
• "When I did my first album, I was marketed as the singer who would appeal to your grandma. But as each record arrived with more power and confidence, I began to sound younger and younger. Some singers start out as young punks and then make a classics album later in their career. With me, it has been the other way round. I feel as if I've finally started acting my own age. I'm the Benjamin Button of pop. It offends me when people think I only listen to Frank Sinatra. I was born in 1975 and I never wanted to be part of the Rat Pack. As a kid, my biggest idol was Michael Jackson. As a teenager, I wanted to be one of the Beastie Boys." — MIchael Bublé. [Daily Mail]
• "I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn't much feminine about me. I believe that gender is something between your ears, not between your legs. That is something I discovered in the early '90s. It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it." — Chaz Bono loves being a man. [People]
• "I was tempted to do it. But I couldn't take it. One smoke of pot and I fall asleep. I don't get much out of it. But that's beside the point. My kids were saying, 'Daddy, you have to try!' That's when I shut down. These were mushrooms ... I said, 'Listen, I didn't go through a sex change operation to direct all these women's movies so don't get me started.'" — Ang Lee wouldn't take acid to direct an LSD scene. [Independent]
• "I just drank an iced tea here with lunch. If next year they say iced tea is worse than steroids, I'll probably quit drinking that too. But at the time it was legal, just like drinking an iced tea is legal. The baseball players, the football players, the hockey players - everybody I knew in every professional sport was using it to up their game, or to heal injuries, or to stay at their peak. And everybody thought it was safe." — Hulk Hogan talks about steroid use in his new book. [Time]
• "I hate them!" — Paris Hilton on the Teen Thieves, who stole clothes and jewelry from her home. [Page Six]
• "I have lots of original ideas that maybe will get made. But everyone... Even if you bring them the most obscure movie that nobody's ever heard of — they want to remake that." — Rob Zombie, who reworked Halloween and Halloween 2 and may remake The Blob, calls Hollywood a "scared town." [CNN]
• "America's the only country where people have said that the New Zealand accent sounds posh or sexy or exotic. Anywhere else, it doesn't. That's why I've been spending a lot of time here." — Flight Of The Conchords' Jemaine Clement. [NY Post]
• "As the mother of my kids, I won't slam Dina personally. But she has expressed to me that Lindsay is in dire, dire need of an intervention. And Lindsay needs to see that her mother is either lying to me or lying to her. Dina says positive things about Samantha when she's talking to Lindsay, but then when Dina talks to me, she blames Lindsay's downfall on the Ronsons. If Dina and her cohorts want to continue lying, I could [keep exposing her] for a year - on so many different subjects. My lawyers told me to keep every single conversation - and I did." — Michael Lohan is taking voicemail tapes to Entertainment Tonight. [Perez]
• "If I go back to my black neighborhood, they'll rob the [bleep] out of me." — Tracy Morgan, promoting his memoir, I Am the New Black, at Barnes & Noble. [Page Six]
• "I always felt that I wanted to help women, period. As a child I [saw] women really, really suffer terrible, terrible situations, and I vowed as a child to want to do something — anything — that can help them have better self-esteem so that they don't have to be subjected to men that wanted to kill them. In my music, that's what I've been doing in my career, and now through FFAWN I'm doing that. I guess what got me through when I was young was something I guess a lot of people don't have and that was just the will. ... I don't know what was driving me. I guess it was something in me did want to die — you know, I guess my spirit didn't want to die, but my physical body definitely was at some point was like I gotta get out of here. ... My physical body was contemplating suicide and all this other crazy stuff, and my spirit is what saved me, I believe." — Mary J. Blige, at the official ribbon-cutting for the Mary J. Blige Center for Women, which was made possible through Blige's Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now (FFAWN), design house Gucci and Westchester Jewish Community Services. [CNN]

• Ready for a mega-eyeroll? A "fan" is threatening to kill her cat, Fuzzy, and eat the animal unless Miley Cyrus reopens her Twitter account. The girl says:

"This is NOT a prank or a hoax. I am not joking, even if some will choose to interpret it that way. Cooking a cat is not illegal in my country, in fact it's part of our culture. I'm not asking for money or any other benefit. Fuzzy is my cat and I will not entertain any offers of selling or giving him away. If Miley doesn't tweet again, this WILL happen, and I'm as serious as a heart attack." [ONTD via Ocean Up]

• By the by, the 53-year-old man arrested for stalking Miley will not face felony charges. [TMZ]
• The Teen Thieves — who allegedly broke into the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom, Audrina Patridge and others — were possibly going to target Mariah Carey and Rihanna next. TMZ calls them the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch™. [TMZ]
• The L.A Times calls the Teen Thieves the "Bling Ring," since the kids were after jewelry. [LA Times]
• A seized computer used by one of the Teen Thieves had pictures of Lindsay and Sam shopping for Rolex watches downloaded on it. And! There was a picture on the computer of someone wearing a blue Rolex, possibly after the burglary. It's like they used gossip sites to "shop" for what they wanted to steal. ALLEGEDLY. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Add Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Hayden Panettiere, Bette Midler (?!?), Shania Twain (?!?!) and Goldie Hawn (?!?!) to the list of celebs whose photos the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch had on their computer. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears has been wearing some "chunky bling" on that finger, so naturally, she's engaged. [The Sun]
• Michael Lohan can't stop talking about Lindsay: "Dina is saying that I'm lying - that Lindsay doesn't have a problem and that she's okay… But I have proof that Dina has told me Lindsay is on death's doorstep, that she doesn't have much time left. There have been frantic calls. And I'm going to prove that Dina is the liar, not me." Good grief, man. Aren't some things private? Apparently not: Michael Lohan will "prove" that Dina is lying by playing numerous voice-mail messages she's left for him — on Monday's Entertainment Tonight. [Gatecrasher]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but socialite Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show will be sorta fake. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had a Sheva Brachot. [People]
• Anderson Cooper. In an opulent hotel in India. With a four-poster mahogany bed. And a large round bathtub, filled with bubbles and rose petals. [Page Six]
• This new Alice In Wonderland extended trailer is nightmarishly beautiful. Johnny Depp scares me a little. Is this what Tim Burton's dreams look like? [PopWrap]
• It's confirmed: Levi is going "Full Johnson" in Playgirl. I'm cocksure jokes will follow. [TMZ]
• Charlize Theron auctioned off a meeting with Nelson Mandela… without notifying Nelson Mandela. [Page Six]
• If you have $28 million (€19 million), you can buy Castello di Castagneto Po — the castle in the Italian hills where French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy spent her early childhood. The neo-Gothic place is surrounded by 175 acres "replete with vegetable gardens, orchards, flowering terraces, ancient greenhouses, a caretaker's house and a farm building." here is a picture of the humble abode. [Reuters]
• Chris Brown has been hanging out with Natalie Nunn from The Bad Girls Club. In the bio for the show she says she "enjoys cruising in her sugar daddies' expensive cars and painting the town red with her cool celebrity friends." Yup, SO COOL. [TMZ]
• Here's the thing about the reality show starring Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman — to be called Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom (which we mentioned yesterday: Jon's rep says: "This is the first I've even heard of it. This isn't happening." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meet the Hayes family, whose new show Table For 12, will air next month when Jon & Kate is gone. [NY Post]
• Josh Duhamel denies that he cheated on Fergie with a stripper. His rep says: This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity… This story is absolutely ridiculous." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is in therapy as part of Celebrity Fit Club, and High School Musical star KayCee Stroh, who's also on the show, says: "Kevin's as cool as a cucumber. He keeps it all together. All the rest of us are sobbing like babies, but Kevin is pretty calm and collected." [E!]
• An auction house disclosed that some Michael Jackson memorabilia was previously owned by David Gest; Gest claimed they had no right to use his name and demanded $200,000. So the auction house is suing Gest. [TMZ]
• Some Michael Jackson fans picketed the This Is It premiere Tuesday night, feeling that he was "neglected, used, and emotionally tormented until his last days" and "while this footage was being shot, people around him knew that he looked like he might have died." [Page Six]
• Even though people find the commercial for DirecTV featuring a scene from Tommy Boy — and starring the late Chris Farley and David Spade kind of tasteless, Spade doesn't have a problem with bringing Farley back to life and says: "These commercials are cool. They're well done. They're clever. And that they would include Tommy Boy in that company, I thought was very flattering… Oh, my God if [Farley] was here, I guarantee he'd be stoked that this little movie is included." [People]
• Jessica Biel will star and produce Fucking Engaged, a "raunchy comedy" from "rookie screenwriter" Julia Brownell. The pitch: A couple makes a pact to have sex every day leading to their wedding so they don't turn into their crusty old parents. Kudos to Brownell for selling her first script! I don't know her but she went to my screenwriting school. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Anne Heche will be in two comedy flicks — one of which is the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg movie The Other Guys. [Variety]
• Has one of Anna Nicole Smith's former doctors been hiding some key medical records? [TMZ]
• So there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that offended Catholics. What else is new? [E!]
• Donald Trump's crew has started work on a new golf resort in Scotland — despite opposition from many, including Tilda Swinton. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• At the link, Jane Campion explains why she was so moved by the tragic affair between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, the subject of her new film, Bright Star. [Telegraph]
• Mel B. says she's honored by gay men finding her attractive: "I try hard with my body… I don't look like a bloke though!" [Daily Express]
• Real Housewife Kandi Burruss talks about her ex-fiancé's murder at the link. [NY Post]
• ABC had plans to have skywriters spray giant Vs over major cities to promote new TV show V, but have decided it might scare folks. [NY Post]
• Corey Feldman is "deeply hurt" by his wife filing for divorce. [People]
• Some of the pros from Dancing With The Stars will join the cast of Burn The Floor on Broadway next month. [NY Post]
• Q: I cry when I watch...
  A: "Everything! I'm half Irish-I cry at commercials. I recently saw a movie called The Greatest. We watched it at 8 a.m., and I was ruined for the rest of the day. I had a headache from crying." — Tim McGraw. [Readers' Digest]
• "I could do with another boob lift, but no way. I don't want to end up looking like (Jocelyn Wildenstein). She looked freaky." — Courtney Love, after meeting Wildenstein. [MSNBC]
• I spotted her in the crowd and thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, but she came backstage with this good-looking dude and I assumed it was her boyfriend. The other problem was that I don't speak Spanish and she had no English. But the guy did, so I just spoke to him. I was a bit nervous because of how beautiful she was. The more I drank, the more I made things worse. I later found out she was on the phone to her mother the whole time saying, 'Buble's gay. He's hitting on my friend.' She couldn't believe it…" — MIchael Bublé on meeting his new girlfriend. [The Sun]
• "Make sure you have a date night just the two of you together, without the kids." — Hugh Jackman's advice on keeping a family happy. [Mirror]
• "I shave about once a week now. It kind of started to come in just like peach fuzz. I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff." — Chaz Bono. [People]
• Q: TBS has said your show will be like a street party. What does that mean to you, a street party?
  A: "Probably what it means to TBS is that it's going to be safe and a lot of fun and properly lit. A street party to me means it's dark, it's fun, you stay after the party, and you just try to condense as much fun into that one hour." — George Lopez, possibly one of the only Latinos with a late night talk show. [Reuters]
• "Thank you to those who appreciate and understand that the album cover is deliberately campy. It's an (homage) to the past. It IS ridiculous. For those that don't get it: oh well… Glad to have gotten your attention. Androgyny. Rock n Roll." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, on his Glamour Shots album cover. [MSNBC]
• "I fear the worst. Look at Elvis, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger - who was a close friend of hers. It could be a year, a month, a week - who knows?" — Michael Lohan tries to predict when Lindsay is going to die. [MSNBC]

• Rumors are flying that Lindsay Lohan is donating her time (except for any free clothes she snags) as Emanuel Ungaro's new "artistic director." This gossip item, however, doesn't spell "Emanuel Ungaro" correctly, so its veracity may be questionable. [Fox 411]

• Ungaro C.E.O. Mounir Moufarrige says Lohan's pay is "quite enough. It's expensive." Before hiring her, he told the press he asked her how much time she intended to spend in jail this year; her unpredictability, he says, "has been factored in" to her compensation. [ToL]
• The New York Times' Horacio Silva says he just had a talk with Renzo Rosso, who is "thisclose to naming a new designer at Martin Margiela." Margiela's departure from his namesake house was only confirmed recently, after months of speculation. In a follow-up tweet, Silva says Rosso maintains Margiela will still be involved in the house. Haider Ackermann and Raf Simons have been mentioned as possible contenders for Margiela's old job. [Twitter]
• What if a luxury label opened a store, and nobody bothered to turn up? [Shophound]
• Diane Von Furstenberg tweets from Madrid: "I just got robbed in the street in front of the Thyssen museum... My wallet, cash and all my credit cards!!" [Twitter]
• Two Bravo executives described the network as "desperate" to get a reality TV deal with Marc Jacobs. Their pitch? A no-strings-attached everyday doc. "Just live his life, his amazing life, and let us shoot it," said Andy Cohen. "I mean, just go. Just go! Open your eyes, let us put the tape in the camera, and let us go." [The Cut]
• Mo Rocca on the future of fashion? Hell. Yes. [CBS]
• Number of times Time mentions Crystal Renn was a "size-0 model": 3. Number of times Time mentions she had anorexia: 0. [Time]
• Karl Lagerfeld: "My father…was not stingy but he hated unnecessary expense but clothes he saw as the exception — he was of a different generation — if you were well dressed, half of the job was done. So I was told, be well dressed and doors will open." [i-D via Fashionista]
• Can you imagine David Spade, Anthony Kiedis, Fred Durst, and Ron Burkle hanging out at a Zac Posen show? Us neither. L.A. is so weird. [Style.com]
• Oscar de la Renta was presented with an award by Grace Coddington and Hamish Bowles. [Yahoo]
• At the same event, Barneys creative director/author Simon Doonan said, "For years, all my writer friends would say to me, what the fuck are you doing working in a store every day? And now they're saying to me, how can I get a job in a store?" This is because "There's nothing at the moment that is worse-compensated than freelance writing. NOTHING. You can get more money panhandling on the street. It's shocking." We'd agree but we're now too depressed to move. Simon Doonan works for a C.E.O.-less department store with stock about eighteen zillion levels below investment grade, a department store so consistently subject to rumors of bankruptcy that its parent company periodically has to step in to remind everyone that it guarantees the (giant, growing, pile of) debt. And even he has it better than we do. [Daily Intel]
• Meanwhile, Doonan says he finds the recession "a colossal bore." [WWD]
• Martin Lingstrom, a brand strategist, spent three years hooking up over 2,000 people to sensors that monitored their physical and neurological responses to advertising and shopping. He says that, while deciding to buy something, our brains release dopamine. However, then there's the guilt: "It's not very strong at the beginning but increases when you swipe your credit card through the credit-card reader." That feeling is physiological. Instead of reaching the obvious conclusion from his data — shopping is against nature, a pattern of unhealthy addiction and guilt-ridden behaviors, and everyone in fashion is totally fucked — Martin Lingstrom apparently still works as a brand strategist. [WSJ]
• The Wall Street Journal tried out Christian Louboutin and Piper Heidsieck's Le Rituel, the $5,000 glass slipper intended to serve as a champagne flute. The verdict? "It takes some finesse, balance, and you can't fill it very high with bubbly...It has its charm, but drinkers of champagne mat opt to keep their flutes handy." Imagine that. [WSJ]
• Alexander Wang says he staged his first fashion show when he was 15, at his brother's wedding. "It was like 35 looks or something. We hired hair and make-up and everything." [Independent]
• Heidi Klum is launching a fashion line. The footwear collection, all 48 styles, will be available starting next fall; to follow will be swimsuits and casual wear. [WWD]
• Claudia Schiffer, on the supermodels comeback: "One of the logical reasons would be that we sort of went away at the same time and most of us had kids at the same time and then we sort of came back. We've also worked for such a long time, we are reliable and professional and you know what you'll get." [Independent]
• Schiffer, who was once unceremoniously dropped by Karl Lagerfeld, during the grunge days, has been spotted with the designer around Buenos Aires. They, along with Baptiste Giabiconi and Freja Beha Erichsen, are shooting the next Chanel campaign. Local media reports that they ate "rich barbecue" for lunch one day. [Fashionologie]
• Vivienne Westwood made a series of gowns for Leona Lewis. In exchange, the pop star will wear the dramatic metallic corseted creations in all the promotional materials for her new album and single. [Telegraph]
• Odds Costume Rental, which supplied costumes for 22 years to productions like Law & Order and Road to Perdition, has filed for bankruptcy. Rising rent is one culprit — the business was hit with a $5,000/month increase last year — and the willingness of designers to give their clothes away to film and television shows is another. [Crains]
• Salvatore Ferragamo is entering the online retail market. [WWD]

• Miley Cyrus is seen "slanting her eyes" in a picture that's been circulating on the web.

An Asian American advocacy group says she "encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent." What is it with these Disney stars? [Perez]

• Angelina, Brad and the brood will live in Brazil next. [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse wants to leave St. Lucia and go to Jamaica to record her album. But, as this paper points out, "her label is 'fully aware' Jamaica is awash with drugs like crack cocaine and cannabis." Didn't you think they just had lots of weed? [The Sun]
• Was Jennifer Hudson "singing" at the Super Bowl actually Jennifer Hudson lip-syncing to a backing track of herself singing? [EW, Independent]
• Jennifer Hudson will perform at the NAACP Image Awards on February 12. [People]
• MTV wanted the girls on The City to fake a physical fight at the DVF office. Tacky, tacky! [Page Six]
• Jennifer Connelly is on the March cover of Glamour looking stiff and glazed-eyed. Pretty hair, though! She says: "It’s been so long since I’ve dated that I don’t understand what’s going on anymore with things like Facebook and MySpace. A friend of mine wrote 'LOL' to me the other day. I thought she meant 'Lord, oh, Lord.'" [Just Jared]
• Michael Phelps knew that bong picture was coming out. A source says: "There was an effort to purchase it, there was even talk of him writing a sports column as well for a period of time to in exchange for not running it. But the News obviously knew what it had on its hands. They weren’t going to play ball." [MSNBC]
• Halle Berry's baby's first word? "It was probably 'dada,'" says baby daddy Gabriel Aubry. "She doesn't say 'dad.' She says 'papa,' which is the French version of it." Oh, and Halle and Gabriel want more kids: "She needs a sibling," Aubry says. "I think it's important." [People]
• Anne Hathaway's Oscar date? Her dad. "If I can squeeze a few more tickets, I'm going to see if I can take my brother and my mom. This is my first, maybe my only, time going. Hopefully not! My family is the most important thing in the world to me. I definitely wanted them by my side." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent Super Bowl Sunday together, hanging out with friends and watching the game. Snooze. [People]
• Faye Dunaway will guest star on Grey's Anatomy! [UPI]
• Katherine Heigl and her husband rescued a puppy in Mexico and he's freaking adorable. [Yahoo News via E!]
• You know how Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were throwing things at the house next door, for undergoing noisy construction? "Internet hustler" Jason Calacanis is ripping them new ones. [Gawker]
• Oh: Ashton and Demi may adopt a child this summer! [MSNBC]
• Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't exactly thrilled with a "smutty" interview conducted by BBC1's Jonathan Ross. [Daily Mail]
• Spoiler alert! Click to find out what might be going down on a future episode of Lost. Sawyer's involved. [AP]
• Paris Hilton has purchased a £2 million home in London. You know she has a TV series, My British Best Friend, right? [Mirror]
• Paris hosted a Super Bowl party while her ex Benji Madden DJ'd. Awkward? Oh, and Paris maybe made out with Doug Reinhardt. [Perez]
• Mark Wahlberg and longtime girlfriend Rhea Durham — who have three kids — are planning a wedding. In a Catholic church. Is that kosher? [People]
• If you see Joe Francis of "Girls Gone Wild," let him know there's a warrant out for his arrest. Tax evasion case. [Reuters]
• Apparently the reason David Spade gets so many ladies is because he has a large dick. Try and erase that from your mind. [Perez]
• Chelsy Davy is not just a partying blonde: She has accepted a post at a law firm and will train as a solicitor later this year, after completing her degree. [Daily Mail]
• Those SNL "MacGruber" sketches that are also Pepsi commercials confuse some people. [AP]
• Vincent Gallo is selling a wallet that is "guaranteed" to get you laid. Cost? $750. [Page Six]
• Brunch with Sienna Miller involves dancing on the chairs. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which two Hollywood buddies should go home to their wives instead of partying together in New York clubs with bags of cocaine? . . . Which sitcom actor avoids socializing with industry professionals? Though his flamboyance is obvious, he stays in the closet with his close-knit - and tight-lipped - circle of gay friends." [Page Six]
• Why did Larry Birkhead bring Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn to the set of Larry King Live? (She's cute though!) [Daily Mail]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Dev Patel was encouraged to get naked for teen drama Skins by his own mother. [Mirror]
• "Dozens" in Mumbai protested against Slumdog today. [Reuters]
• Pete Doherty is getting evicted from a nine-bedroom house because there's graffiti on the walls, stray cats and trash everywhere and, oh, yeah: The landlord feels he's turned the place into a drug den. [The Sun]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers have lost their bid to disqualify all L.A. judges from hearing his case; they claimed the entire Los Angeles Superior Court bench is biased against the director. The court has ruled that the hearing can go forward. [Variety]
• Bobby Brown's girlfriend is pregnant. It's his prerogative. He can do what he wanna do. [TMZ]
• Lionsgate pictures has acquired Sundance Film Festival winner Push: Based On The Novel By Sapphire, and Oprah and Tyler Perry will team up to promote the flick. The film's star, Mo'Nique, was honored with a special jury prize. The story revolves around an overweight, illiterate African-American teen in Harlem who's about to give birth to her second child when she is accepted into an alternative school. [Variety]
• Six Feet Under producer Alan Poul will direct Plan B, a film starring Jennifer Lopez as a single woman who meets the man of her dreams on the very day she conceives a child through artificial insemination. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mel B. and Eddie Murphy seemed to have settled a "secret" legal battle over their daughter. Mel B had always said that Eddie didn't want a relationship with the child, but the agreement states that Eddie will not have custody, but will have visitation rights. [Mirror]
• Usher's Atlanta wine bar, Grape: squashed. [Perez]
• Congrats to David Eisenberg, Sex And The City's Steve, who, along with his wife, welcomed his first child on January 19. [E!]
• Erykah Badu and boyfriend Jay Electronica Twittered the birth of their baby girl over the weekend; Badu says it was home birth that lasted about five hours and that she didn't use painkillers. Ow. [USA Today]
• The late Keith Moon of The Who is being honored with a "blue plaque." [Independent]
• "I can't deal with actors. I can't deal with myself. We're neurotic and miserable... I love doing what I'm doing, but while I'm doing it, I'm miserable." — Viola Davis. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It's impossible for me to rebel against my parents because they are such crazy people. I can't rebel against the normal things that people rebel against." — Lorcan O'Toole, whose father is Peter O'Toole and mother is Karen Somerville, an ex-girlfriend of the actor who worked as a model. [Telegraph]
• "I used to never even be able to see a boy. I didn't even know what a boy was. They were so foreign to me. I used to go roller-skating just so I could see the opposite sex. There was this boy... and he never asked me to backward couple skate with him. I was emotionally scarred by 11 or 12 years old." — Katy Perry. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It's unfortunate. There's no one more disappointed about it than him… He's getting a lot of flack about it and it's really unnecessary." — Mark Wahlberg on the Jeremy Piven kerfluffle. [E!]
• "I don’t know. It was something about the way that we were together. He stood out to me as someone singular and rare and beautiful, and I liked the way he was in the world…. I liked the way he was with my son and the way he made me feel." — Jennifer Connelly on knowing Paul Bettany was The One, in Glamour. [Just Jared]
• "It's so funny to me that the role is a guy who is an Oscar-seeking moron. His whole motivation is Oscars. Irony is synonymous with pretty much everything that is going on." _-Robert Downey Jr., on being nominated for Tropic Thunder. [USA Today]
• "When you get to my age, you do running repairs. I had my fourth hair transplant as it means I don't have to wear wigs in a movie." — John Cleese. [Daily Mail]
• "One of the things I just loved about Liev right away was that he was so good with kids." — Naomi Watts. [People]
• "All the men want to be Don Draper, all the women want to fuck him. Everyone thinks he's the perfect man, and Pete Campbell is jealous of him. But Draper's completely incomplete, completely lonely, completely detached, completely alone. It's why he reaches out to all these women, it's why he needs to take charge in business, to belittle Pete. He's completely alone. Loneliness isn't a phase or a mood, it's a core condition of being and some of us deal with it better than others - build a family or make a million dollars. Or Draper, coming home to the empty house at the end of season one. That's a big theme of the show: unattachment, loneliness, distance." — from a worth-your-while interview with Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men. [Guardian]
• "I wanted to have that big giant dance video moment. I wanted it to be plastic, beautiful, gorgeous, sweaty, tar on the floor, bad-ass boys, but when you got close, the look in everybody's eyes was fucking honest and scary." — Lady GaGa, on her new video, set in a subway station and deaturing "a menacing flock of bondage-loving biker-gang dancers." [EW]
• "Well here you have it. My final blog… Before I go, however, I must say that I received a text message from a very close and dear friend of Lindsay's who I trust and admire. The text said, 'between you and me you are doing the right thing. From what I hear, from Lindsay's nearest and dearest friends, Lindsay is worse off than ever since she she has been with Sam. I told Dina that Lindsay needs you back in her life, and I think you know that I was the one who really helped Linds get into rehab.' I was with Lindsay when she got out of Cirque Lodge. I saw and experienced the 'old Lindsay' with so much hope and promise. I had full confidence in her. Then back came Samantha! Can't you all see this? Am I speaking to stone walls? All I ask that you put your selves in my shoes and HONESTLY consider what you would do." — Michael Lohan. [Mike Lohan Online]
• "I get very emotional about these things, I discover. I think I'm not cut out for this. I'm too emotional to lose, and I'm too emotional to win." — Kate Winslet, on the Oscars. [Daily Mail]
• "I think with the success of a few big pictures like Mamma Mia! addressing an audience that, never mind being neglected, have been disdained in the boardrooms, there will be other films that target that audience. Mamma Mia! is that rare thing you can enjoy with your mother or your child, and its aim is only to make you happy." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "Fuck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and for a second your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world." — Gwyneth Paltrow, on critics of her "lifestyle blog," GOOP. [Examiner]

• Michael Jackson is dying, according to the oh-so-reliable National Enquirer.

A source says: "Painkillers and booze have caught up with him. The only way he was able to cope with the stress of sex scandals and his roller-coaster life was to mask the pain with substance abuse." Another insider claims: "His muscles and lungs are deteriorating, and he's bedridden much of the time. He can walk, but not for very long." [Newser, National Enquirer]

• Shh! Secret Oprah/Obama party in honor of the inauguration! Pass it on! [Page Six]
• Are Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt married? Or does Taraji Henson have trouble remembering the word "partner"? [The Sun]
• You know how, in W, Brad Pitt claimed that he and Jennifer Aniston "still check in with one another"? The New York Post's Cindy Adams says: Toro caca. Brad and Jen haven't spoken in three years. [NY Post]
• Anne Hathaway skipped the Bride Wars premiere party to go smoke cigarettes and play pool. [Page Six]
• Sixteen-year-old Frances Bean Coban checked out a $6.5 million Manhattan penthouse recently. Without her mom. Will she buy it and leave Courtney on her own? [NY Post]
• Will Tom Cruise go on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross? [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse continues to hang out with this random dude, Josh Bowman, in the Caribbean; yesterday she serenaded him from the piano at a hotel bar. [The Sun]
• Congrats to Lisa Bonet and hot hottie Jason Momoa, who (maybe) welcomed a boy in mid-December. The name? Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. According to Jason's mom, "He was born on the stormest, rainy night. Nakoa(warrior)...Mana(strength/spirit) Kaua(rain) po(dark)... The name was always going to be Nakoa-Wolf, but Jason did the research on first middle name, 2nd middle name as you know is Jason's." Okay then! [ONTD]
• Did you know that Mario Lopez and Fergie were one another's first kiss back in the '80s? Anyway, now that Fergie is getting married, Mario says: "I'm happy for all of her success. She deserves it. Josh is a great guy. They will be great together." [People]
• Dear Princess Beatrice: If you don't want your black BMW, which was a gift from your father, the Duke of York, to be stolen off the street in the West 1 area of London, don't leave your keys in the ignition. [Independent]
• Taylor Momsen, Gossip Girl's Little J, was seen dining with her dad in MD, making a big deal about trying not to be recognized… And no one cared. [Page Six]
• Finally! What we've all some of you have been waiting for: Tori Spelling is in negotiations to appear on the new 90210. [People]
• Say buh-bye to Balthazar Getty on TV: The writers and producers of Brothers & Sisters have changed scenes and storylines to phase out his character, Tommy Walker, before the season ends. [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio will star in the screen adaptation of Beat The Reaper, a novel by Josh Bazell, about a Manhattan emergency room doctor whose life becomes complicated when a mobster recognizes the doc from his former life as a hitman who went into the witness protection program. [Variety]
• Being on Celebrity Big Brother has given Coolio a platform to say all kinds of crap; today he claims that the difference between American chicks and Brit birds is that English women get drunk and hook up with people they don't even know. [Mirror]
• Take a deep sigh of relief: David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan are just friends. [E!]
• Blind items! 1. Which married-with-children cable TV honcho has been so helpful to an ambitious reporter who works for him, everyone thinks they're having an affair - including her boyfriend? Her beau dumped her flat after reading some incriminating e-mails 2. Which media mogul has been hitting on the flight attendant on his corporate jet - and her girlfriend? He offered the hotties an all-expenses-paid trip to Mexico City, but they laughingly declined. [Page Six]
• Additional blind item! "Which reality star announced in the middle of a business lunch, “Whoops, just got my period!” — and then kept eating as if nothing had happened?" [Gatecrasher]
• Some band has written a song calling for a confession from Casey Anthony, Caylee's mother and the prime suspect in Caylee's death. [Gatecrasher]
• SNL star Casey Wilson wants to play Suri Cruise: "I just have to give her a voice. She’s got a lot to say, a lot of opinions. She’s very smart and she can wear that Burberry coat like no other. But I think I’m going to make her arrive in a spaceship." [Gatecrasher]
• Dr. Jan Adams, the surgeon who operated on the late Dr. Donda West (Kanye's mom), was sentenced to a year in jail for DUI. He had a blood alcohol level of .20 percent. [The Life Files]
• Check out video of rapper T.I. on the witness stand as he fights a raise in child support payments (he already pays $6,000 a month!). A lawyer asks him what size house he lives in, and T.I., aka Clifford, says "A big one." [The Life Files]
• For some reason, Stephen Spielberg's image was being used on a flyer at the University of Wales, promoting their creative writing department. Spielberg's lawyers asked the school to cease and desist. [Telegraph]
• Those of you hoping to see Gandalf's wand are out of luck! Ian McKellen is not upset that the nude scene from his version of King Lear won't be shown when the stage play is shown on TV. "Every night, when I'd take my clothes off, you know what I used to do? Pull in my stomach. That's pathetic. I was playing an old man. I should have let it all hang out, and I couldn't do that." [AP]
• "Noel Gallagher wants me to play him in a movie about his life? That is ridiculous, he must have been in a very good mood to say that. I'm way older than him anyway, so I couldn't play him, but I love the idea, it's fantastic. I can play the guitar better than Noel can so I don't know how that is really going to work. I haven't had a call from Liam yet so I'll wait for that one." — Daniel Craig. [Telegraph]
• "Israel is a NAZI state… Israel has enough money to pay each and every Palestinian to not shoot at them." — Roseanne Barr. [Page Six]

• So many questions about John Travolta's late son: Could Jett have been saved? Was he autistic? Is Scientology to blame? [Mirror]

• Before he died, Jett Travolta had been taken off of his anti-seizure meds. [TMZ]
• A friend of John Travolta's says, "The desire to protect Jett informed everything John did," including flying his own plane. [Daily Mail]
• And! Looky here: More people are blaming Scientology for Jett's tragic death; saying the religion is responsible for the "willful non-treatment of mental health and neurological disorders." [Hollywood Interrupted]
• A message from John Travolta and Kelly Preston: "We would like to extend our deepest and most heartfelt thanks to everyone who has sent their love and condolences. Jett was the most wonderful son that two parents could ever ask for and lit up the lives of everyone he encountered. We are heartbroken that our time with him was so brief." [TMZ, Perez Hilton, Daily Mail]
• John Travolta held his son's limp hand in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, begging, "Jett, come on, Jett, come on, come around!" [NY Post]
• Oprah has called her buddy John Travolta to offer her condolences. [ET]
• John Travolta's friend and Chief Counsel, Mike Ossi, says: "I will defer to doctors and medical experts, but I don't want anyone to think that John and Kelly did not utilize all available medical and non-medical experts in an attempt to protect the interest of his children." [ET]
• Holy crap: Katie Holmes has spent £10 MILLION since moving to New York six months ago. If she moves, the economy will collapse! [The Sun]
• Do we believe that Scientology helped Tom Cruise overcome dyslexia? [Yahoo News]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is on a detox diet which bans dairy, gluten, meat, shellfish, all processed food, fatty nuts, potatoes and other related vegetables, condiments, sugar, alcohol, caffeine or fizzy drinks. "Happy" new year! [Telegraph]
• For some reason this story is about Kate Moss pregnancy rumors, even though she is seen smoking and drinking beer and her "stomach bump" appears to be abdominal muscle. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is supposedly dating choreographer Sandip Soparrkar, but his Bollywood actress girlfriend says: "I don’t understand why Britney would stoop so low as to claim someone else’s boyfriend for her own. Sandip and I are very happy together." Uh oh! [Mirror]
• On the subject of Spears: Remember when cops used a decoy for Jamie Lynn Spears at LAX? The woman in question, Adessa Eskridge, says she was plucked from JLS's flight and told, "you're going to help us." Not asked; told. She didn't know why they slapped sunglasses on her and marched her into a crowd of paparazzi until later; she's suing for $100,000. [ONTD]
• Of course Barbara Walters has landed the first TV interview with Patrick Swayze since the Dirty Dancer announced he can cancer last year: Nobody puts Baba Wawa in a corner! [Contact Music]
• Host Samantha Harris wants hot hottie Hugh Jackman to appear on Dancing With The Stars, which would be awesome but will never happen. He's an actual star, see. [People]
• Speaking of DWTS: Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are engaged. [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson, who may or may not be dying, wants to leave his share of the Beatles catalogue to Paul McCartney in his will. McCartney was furious in 1985 when Jackson outbid him to win the rights to the Lennon-McCartney songbook; Jackson wants to make peace. Remember when Mac & Jack were old-tymey buddies? [Mirror]
• Criss Angel is still using his freak "magic" on Holly Madison: They were seen having dessert with Holly's parents in Las Vegas on New Year's Day. Apparently this is the first time Holly's had her mom and dad to meet a boyfriend; was there something embarrassing about Hef? Other than his age, wardrobe and other gfs? [E!]
• Soulja Boy's rep has confirmed that the rapper was indeed assaulted last week; six men came to his home and robbed him and his friends. No word on whether the 18-year-old attempted to "Superman that ho." [Perez Hilton]
• Celebs use Twitter! John Cleese likes Marmite! Britney Spears hearts Japan! Yawn. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes wants to be an actress: She's enrolled at the Professional Children's School, alma mater of Macaulay Culkin, Scarlett Johansson and Sarah Jessica Parker. Hopefully she's seen Swept Away and can just do the opposite of whatever that was. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Madonna, her brother conducted an interview from in his bed, in pyjamas and striped silk gown, reclining on two enormous Versace pillows. Of his book, Christopher Ciccone says: "She probably thinks of it as a desperate attempt for attention and money. And, ultimately, a betrayal. I think of it as a thesaurus - it's different ways of defining people and myself - and also as another piece of art." Plus: "I was born my mother's son, but I will die my sister's brother." [Guardian]
• Playwright and actor Sam Shepard was arrested on DUI charges in the town named Normal, Illinois over the weekend. [Breitbart]
• Is Amy Winehouse trying to get her groove back? She was seen kissing Caribbean singer Shayne Ross in St. Lucia right before Christmas. Once you go black… (And remember this?) [Mirror]
• Amy can walk on her hands, btw. [The Life Files]
• Are Prince William and Kate Middleton on the verge of getting engaged? They're staying in some "fairytale log cabin" where some think he's about to pop the question. [The Sun]
• Prince William and Prince Harry are setting up their own private office, which is "a significant step for the two young princes in establishing some independence from their father." [Telegraph]
• Ew: David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan might actually be a couple. [E!]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, now rules a business empire; in addition to designing jewelry and writing, she's producing an animated film of her children's book. Being royal just isn't enough these days. [Daily Mail]
• Heather Mills is pissed that her former nanny is suing her, claiming "sexual discrimination, intimidation and constructive dismissal." Poor Heather has already spent $14.5 million of her $35.3 million settlement, how can she be expected to live on what's left? [UPI]
• By the by, Heather Mills feels "betrayed" by the lawsuit. [Daily Mail]
• Gary Oldman got married on New Year's Eve — and his fourth wife — Alexandra Edenborough — is gorgeous, dammit. [ONTD]
• Breaking! Is David Beckham out of shape? [LA Times]
• Posh had better get used to a long distance relationship: Victoria and the kids won't join Beckham in Milan when he starts this weekend. [Independent]
• Kudos to you, Kylie Minogue, and your hot Spanish "toyboy" and your French Alps vacation, where you were seen acting like a "loved-up teenager." [The Sun]
• Rihanna's got a huge glittering rock on "that" finger so the rumor is that she's engaged to Chris Brown. [The Sun]
• Jermaine Dupri has written an essay about Barack Obama for The Huffington Post, in which he wails: "Obama hasn't even been sworn in yet and he's being pushed and pulled in all the different directions everyone else thinks he's supposed to go. Everywhere I look people are trying to steer Obama one-way or the other… Who's next in line to bitch?" [Huffington Post]
• Mickey Rourke relates to his character in The Wrestler: "Once you've been somebody, really, you have a career and you're a nobody anymore, and you're getting older, you're living what's called a state of shame. I went through that in the movie business, you know? You are alone." [CBS News]
• Michelle Trachtenberg will return to Gossip Girl, but the commenters over on ONTD are all, "do not want." [ONTD]
• If you like shabby chic, check out the "rock retreat" of Pearl Lowe, Gavin Rossdale's ex and the mom of Daisy Lowe. [Daily Mail]
• If you're dying to know who makes the clothes Whitney Port wears on The City, she has listed the designers in nauseating detail. [Whitney Port]
• Dan Clark, formerly known as Nitro on American Gladiators, says steroids gave him man boobs, shriveled balls and a "dull throbbing pain" every time he had sex. Good times. [Page Six]
• Stars like T.I., Adam Levine, Chace Crawford and Maria Menounos partied in Miami over the weekend. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which politico adulterer finds many normal objects to be too sexually suggestive, and has to have them removed from his sight while he’s making speeches? Word is he gets too distracted to focus on his notes!" [Gatecrasher]
• Ex-Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day will be on the March cover of Playboy, even though she exposed plenty of her epidermis already, on Complex. [Gatecrasher]
• Ranae Shrider, the woman who called Verne "Mini Me" Troyer her boyfriend, is still telling her weird and creepy story to whomever will listen. Now she claims he ordered her around "like a slave" and she ran all his errands while he spent the day Googling his own name. She also says she wanted to be his girlfriend but didn't want to have sex with him. Tsk, tsk. [Mirror]
• Oh, but Verne "Mini Me" Troyer is the favorite to win the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. So there's that. [The Star]
• Speaking of Celebrity Big Brother, apparently Coolio used the N word and caused a stir. [The Sun]
• Yesterday People reported that Tara Reid had checked out of rehab; this was not true. [E!]
• Tara Reid is still in rehab but "doing well." [People]
• Jeremy Piven is dating a black chick. [Page Six]
• Actor/director Richard Attenborough, 85, is in stable condition after a head injury after a fall in his home last month; he was in a coma but has regained consciousness. [UPI]
• "I would steal Kate Winslet’s roles. All her roles. Don’t talk to me about it because she can do no wrong in my eyes. Not only is she the most amazing actress in the entire world, she’s nude in a lot of her films which shows she’s just fearless. Her choices are impeccable. She literally can do anything. If she can just give me two of her roles, I’d be happy." — Eva Mendes. [Daily Mail]
• "People are so enamored of the character that when they see in a script, 'detective,' they think, 'let's bring Belzer in.' They did that on The X-Files, on Arrested Development, on Sesame Street. It's been so much fun." — Richard Belzer on being Detective Munch. [UPI]
• "Men come and go but there really is no relationship like the one you have with a dog — and then they don't live as long as they should. You have to say goodbye way too soon. It's just so sad. It makes me so sad. But their love is unconditional and I love that." — Jennifer Aniston, possibly explaining why she's dating noted dog John Mayer. [The Sun]

• Amy Winehouse and Blake Formerly Incarcerated: Dunzo. He's left her for a German model; she's admitted that it was never going to last and that they were "only together for sex." Keep in mind that this report comes from a terribly disreputable paper. [News Of The World, Page Six]
• By the by, Blake Fielder-Civil's jail sentence appeal was refused by two judges. [The Sun]
• "Impeccable" sources say Guy Ritchie is banking $70 million of Madonna's money as part of the divorce settlement. That kind of cash will buy a lot of rounds at the pub! [Perez Hilton]
• Oy, Alex Rodriguez is a "Kabbalah school dropout." Madonna will not be happy about this. [MSNBC]
• That was quick: Michael Jackson has settled his court case in which be was being sued by a sheikh. [BBC News]
• Bloody hell. The Twilight sequel has been greenlit. [UPI]

• Brad and Angelina's family is just as cute and perfect in real life as they claim to be. [Page Six]
• OMG Barbara and Jenna Bush helped take Sasha and Malia Obama on a tour of the White House and all of the girls totally jumped on the beds! Says Laura Bush: "They're really tall beds; you need to get a running start." [People]
• Will Leona Lewis team up with Beyoncé and Jay-Z for Barack Obama's inauguration concert? [The Sun]
• Larry Rudolph, Britney Spears' longtime manager, discusses her documentary: "There just came a moment where she decided to get up, brush herself off and move forward. She had hit a low point in her life. She realized that and everybody else realized that. She wanted to get to a better place." Plus, there's A clip! [LA Times]
• Britney made an unexpected appearance in court Friday for a hearing on her ongoing conservatorship. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Alba ate Nutella crepes at a downtown Manhattan restaurant, where the staff said the meal was "on the house," so she left a $200 tip. Classy. [Page Six]
• In this in-depth piece about Nicole Kidman, we learn that while Keith Urban is on tour and Nic rides around in the tour bus, "She likes to sneak away and go to people's garage sales. 'All I need is a hat, and I go,' she says. She bought little ceramic candle holders at one sale, she says, and embroidered Christmas stockings at another, 'when it wasn't anywhere near Christmastime. I love it.'" [Washington Post]
• Johnny Depp's movie took over a highway in Wisconsin; the detour traffic made a road collapse. Whoops! [AP]
• Ooh: Today is the day that Boy George is due to stand trial; he's accused of assaulting and falsely imprisoning a male escort. [The Star]
• How do people in the Bronx feel about the name Ashlee and Pete Wentz chose for their baby boy? Not impressed. [NY Times]
• "Bronx is beyond precious. I'm over the moon with joy," says Jessica Simpson. "Life is a beautiful miracle. Ashlee and Pete are healthy, happy and enjoying every moment." Cool, cool. Do people really say "over the moon"??? [UPI]
• Nicolette Sheridan, who ended her engagement to Michael Bolton about three months ago, was seen making out with "Hollywood Lothario" David Spade Friday night. Just let that image settle in. [Star]
• Even though Michael Phelps has professed his love for McDonald's, he has a deal promoting Subway. How did the sandwich chain land the deal? [AdAge]
• Illeana Douglas has a (laminated) message for the paparazzi, you should click and see. [DListed]
• Pleasure principle: Janet Jackson is going to take a break from music to focus on having a baby with her boyfriend Jermane Dupri. [Daily Express]
• The economy takes no prisoners: The Tyra Banks Show is moving to the CW's afternoon block after being in syndication for four seasons. Stations have been making budget cuts, so Tyra's production schedule will be cut to 26 weeks from 34. [Reuters]
• Natasha McElhone says her mission now, besides acting and providing for her family, is to complete some of the work her late husband, a doctor, began: "to finish his life, to finish his unfinished business." [LA Times]
• In this interview with Stephen Colbert, he discusses meeting Eleanor Holmes Norton (the District's delegate in Congress): "I felt so dirty. I felt like a piece of meat. I find being a piece of meat very exciting. In my last life, I think I was a veal cutlet." [Washington Post]
• Paris Hilton has been "constantly texting" Benji Madden and trying to show up at clubs where he is supposed to be. [Mirror]
• You can buy a silk couch owned by Jenna Jameson on eBay if you have $9,500 to spare. It's pearl gray. [DListed]
• Even though the economy is in the crapper, there's stuff celebrities won't give up: Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss needs her coffee; Jessica Biel must travel first class; Hilary Swank gets facials; supermodel/ANTM judge Twiggy must have pink Champagne, and much more [WWD]
• Dora The Explorer is getting a new voice: Will kids notice? [Page Six]
• Blind items: 1. Which ex-couple — an actor and a model — still share some aspects of their sex life? Both are known to sleep with a famous Lower East Side topless dancer who has a reputation of never going home alone. 2. Which TV host has such good rapport with his fetching female co-host that his wife has correctly guessed they're having an affair? [Page Six]
• No Doubt: On tour, summer 2009. [People]
• Ben Stiller and Chris Rock: "Israel is better than Hollywood." [AP]
• Dita Von Teese is suing Macmillan Publishers, which printed Patti O'Shea's In Twilight's Shadow, a paranormal romance novel about demon hunting. For some reason, Dita's face is on the cover. She certainly did not give permission. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Now that the Daily Mail has apologized to David Duchovny for printing a story about him having an affair with his tennis instructor, Duchovny's dropped his $1 million lawsuit. [E!]
• Travis Barker is suing the owner and makers of the "defective" Learject that crashed September 19, killing four and leaving him and DJ AM with severe burns. [Yahoo News via E!]
• So you know how Michael Lohan — Lindsay's dad — was going to box for charity? The parole board has stepped in, saying the boxing match can't happen because he spent 20 months in prison for attempted assault. Whoops! [Yahoo News]
• Will the Golden Globes not happen again this year? Last year is was a writers' strike; this year a Screen Actors Guild strike could cancel the event. [Fox News]
• Hollywood veterans and experts from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are spending $25 million on a lab called The Centre for Future Storytelling. Matt Damon is involved. [Times Of London]
• Lily Allen sought therapy after her miscarriage: "I was in a very, very dark place after the whole thing happened. That was the toughest thing I've had to go through in my life. [Therapy] is really, really helping me. I feel it's getting better and everything's going to be OK." [Mirror]
• Crazy stuff in this Q&A with Quincy Jones: His dad worked as a carpenter for the black mob, and in 1974 Q had two brain aneurysms. Oh, and Q talks about Frank Sinatra: "[He] was one of those guys where he liked you or he didn't. I got to know the Frank that nobody wrote about, the guy who visited Billie Holiday in the hospital to make sure her bills were paid and who took care of Amos and Andy when they were down on their luck. He was a stand-up guy who didn't see color, and that was rare back then." [Newsweek]
• Padma Lakshmi went to see the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl dragged her on stage; she ended up playing tambourine with the band and getting hit on by Taylor Hawkins. [Page Six]
• Meg Ryan's Bel-Air house is for sale, if you have $19.5 million to spare. You get 6,877 square feet, a pool, spa, and guest house. [TMZ]
• Cedric the Entertainer may not be the obvious first choice for a Broadway drama, but he's getting good buzz for being in the David Mamet play American Buffalo. [NY Times]
• Cops are looking for a "Casanova conman" who claims links to Heath Ledger, Robert De Niro and Keith Urban and has left broken hearts and empty wallets across Australia. [News.com.au]
• Wow. A Keith Richards easy listening album. With a jazz version of "Over The Rainbow. Wow. [Telegraph]
• A doozy of a headline: "Camilla Admits To 'Letting Herself Go' Since She Married Charles... And Vows To Take Up Tai Chi As A New Year's Resolution." Lulz. [Daily Mail]
  
• Warren Beatty is suing over the rights to comic strip detective Dick Tracy. Apparently he's working on a Dick Tracy TV special? Who knew? [Reuters]
• Paul Newman's will was made public and he left his personal property, including real estate, to his wife, Joanne Woodward. His Oscars and other awards went to the Newman's Own Foundation; his airplane and race cars will be sold, with proceeds going to his estate. [AP]
• A Smashing Pumpkins show has been postponed; Billy Corgan's sick! [UPI]
• Billy Zane's parents closed down the Chicago med school they owned, leaving some students in the lurch. [UPI]
• Enya: Might tour for the first time ever. [Reuters]
• Oh, good (oh God?): The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ. Plus, The paper says the Beatles made music that is better than "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today. [Reuters, AP]
• Speaking of the Beatles, Paul McCartney says his conflict with John Lennon was over before the singer was shot. [UPI]
• investigators say Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend probably drowned while on a fishing trip. [News.com.au]
• A man who waved Samurai swords at a Hollywood Scientology building had a "previous relationship" to the church; he was shot and killed by a security guard. [AP]
• Rocker Bryan Ferry is dating his son's ex-girlfriend. The Roxy Music star is 63; the lady in question is 27 and his son is 22. A "pal" says the lady had fling with the son about 5 years ago. Yuck. [The Sun]
• Jodie Sweetin has filed for legal separation from her husband but is "trying to stay positive for Zoie," their 7-month-old daughter. [People]
• Why is a letter Princess Diana wrote to her royal footman on her honeymoon up for sale? And how sad is it that she mentions how "terribly lonely" she is? [Daily Mail]
• Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster are trying for a baby. Yeah, he's 63, so what? [Mirror]
• "Ever since her Oscar nomination, Sophie Okonedo has been offered plenty of 'mini-skirted girlfriend' parts. But she'd much rather stay home and do nothing." [Telegraph]
• Blackadder: a Christmas comeback. [The Star]
• A New York rabbi paid $2500 at an auction to go out with ice skating queen Oksana Baiul. He says: "Well, I'm single, it's for charity, and she seems like a nice Jewish girl. I guess I'm the luckiest guy in my congregation." [Page Six]
• "My son would have been at that rally in Chicago when the first African- American president was elected, and I'm sure he would have gone up onstage and grabbed the microphone as only he could." — Ol' Dirty Bastard's mom. [Page Six]
• "I got drunk and lied to him. I said 'I've lost my keys and I can't wake my mum. Can I stay on your sofa?' He went to brush his teeth. I took my clothes off and jumped in his bed. It's the only way I can ever get together with people." — Lily Allen on her seduction technique. [Mirror]
• "I laugh when people say we don't get on. Of course we row. But we are best friends as well as partners. I don't think we'd know what to do without each other." — Kate "Jordan" Price on her relationship with her husband, Peter Andre. [The Sun]
• "Axl's a friend, and I don't want to compromise that. But as for 'fun' crazy: He wrote his (half) brother, Stuart, a $25,000 check every day to throw these lavish theme parties. It was like, we're in Indianapolis, so there were Formula One cars everywhere, with all the girls dressed up in pit-crew uniforms. It was decadence at the highest level I'd ever seen, a Caligula kind of outlandishness. There were orgies, sure. Was I involved? Yes. Well, I was in the same room — we'll leave it at that." — Lars Ulrich on being on tour with Axl Rose and Guns N Roses back in the day. [Perez Hilton]
• "Something else comes out of you when you become a parent and, as you get older, you start to see more character in your face. Now, when I look at myself, I just see somebody at peace, and I see a mom, and I see my own relatives in my face – and that’s a kind of beauty that exists for everybody and doesn’t disappear." — Angelina Jolie. [Daily Mail]

• Lindsay Lohan won't stop blogging on her MySpace page, because she feels it proves she's not an "empty" person: "There's a person in here. And I have feelings too, whether it's about politics, the person I'm seeing, the person I'm not seeing. That's my way of connecting. I don't want people to think that I'm just an empty f**king whatever." [ONTD]

• Meanwhile, it appears that Lilo may have been caught drinking on camera. [ONTD]

• Desperate Housewives start Nicollette Sheridan hooked up with David Spade at her 45th birthday party on Friday night; a source claims the pair "were full-on making out in a booth."[People]

• Rory Gilmore's hero, Christiane Amanpour, is a big fan of Angelina Jolie. "Angelina does an amazing job in terms of her capacity to highlight issues and problems around the world and with her humanitarian and human rights work," Amanpour says. [US Magazine]

• Madonna is handling her divorce by focusing on her music and her children and reaching out to old friends like ex-husband Sean Penn. A source, who claims that Madonna is "not heartbroken" over the divorce, says that the Penn-Madonna relationship is purely platonic: "There's nothing romantic there. They're just good friends." [People]

• Oh, snap! Terrence Howard's baby-wipe obsessed ways are coming back to haunt him: after receiving over 50 letters from concerned women who read of a possible hook-up in PageSix, model Noemie Lenoir now wants "nothing to do with" Howard. [PageSix]

• Angelina Jolie says motherhood helped her self-esteem: "I know this is going to sound corny, but I first became happy with the way I look when I became a mother. There’s this idea that beauty is when someone does your hair and puts a lot of make-up on you and sticks your face on the cover of a magazine. Is that beauty? You know what is beautiful? My mom. She was beautiful to me, and I look more like my mom as I get older. Something else comes out of you when you become a parent and, as you get older, you start to see more character in your face."[DailyMail]

• Are Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds planning a family? A source says yes: “Scarlett and Ryan are madly in love and want to start a family sooner rather than later. Scarlett is keen to be a young mom and does not plan to be the sort of women who leaves motherhood too late and starts worrying about her biological clock ticking.”[PopCrunch]

• The Vatican has finally issued a statement forgiving John Lennon for claiming that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. The Vatican's daily newspaper ran the following: "The remark by John Lennon, which triggered deep indignation mainly in the United States, after many years sounds only like a 'boast' by a young working-class Englishman faced with unexpected success, after growing up in the legend of Elvis and rock and roll."[Reuters]

• Twilight's opening day haul? 35 million dollars, a bigger opening than the last Indiana Jones film.[E!]

• Uh-oh: the Screen Actors Guild has "announced it will mount a 'full-scale education campaign' to convince its 120,000-plus members to support a strike authorization vote."[EW]

• Michelle Williams is never going to forgive or forget the paparazzi who made her life a living hell this year by documenting her grief over the loss of her former partner, Heath Ledger. "It burns a fire inside of me, the shit that I've seen people do to get at me or my daughter. I won't forget it, and I won't support it. I don't want my daughter growing up feeling spied on or threatened."[DailyExpress]

• Megan Fox, apparently a bit tipsy, confessed to a Page Six reporter at GQ's Men of the Year party that she's "obsessed" with Zac Efron. "What you don't know is that Zac and I are the same person . . . it's like Janet and Michael [Jackson], we are the same person." No word on how Brian Austin Green feels about all this.[PageSix]

• Jennifer Aniston isn't sure if Friends would have a chance on television today: "Hard to tell — that was a different time. Now TV has too much to do with celebrity. We have reality television, where people try to become celebrities and celebrities dancing and past celebrities trying to be celebrities again. I thank God for shows like “30 Rock.”[PinkIstheNewBlog]

• Taylor Swift totally wants to disemvowel all of you: she admits that she reads celebrity blogs, but tries not to pay attention to the "haters" in the comments: "I just try to ignore the ‘I hate her, she’s ugly’ ones. When people can be anonymous, they’re vicious and it’s like sixth grade stuff like on crack. It’s terrible.”[JustJared]

• Angelina was on the red carpet in New York over the weekend, talking about her family. "Everybody's great," she said. "The babies are getting big and healthy and developing personalities." She says she has been a "little bit" sleep deprived but she and Brad find relief: "We have some help a couple of nights a week, so on those nights we catch up on our sleep." [UPI]
• Brad Pitt was there too: They are obviously not broken up. [Daily News]
• More from Angie: "Even if we lock our door, the children come knocking. We often try to have a bath alone together at the end of the night and sit and talk, but they hear the water and want to jump in. But it’s fun and it’s lovely – the thing about having six is once you’ve passed three or four, it’s so crazy anyway that it’s just more chaos and it’s all OK." When asked if she feels if she has completed her family, Angie said, "No." [Mirror]
• Angie somehow found time for two new tattoos: She now has the map coordinates of Nice, France, where her twins were born. [LA Times]
• But! As for adopting more kids Angie says: "I think we're going to wait a little while." [People]

• Lindsay Lohan is also feeling brood-y. She says: "At some point, I want to adopt a kid… A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet." [Mirror]
• Samantha Ronson sent Perez Hilton a check for $86,832: The amount to cover his legal fees in her failed libel lawsuit. [E!]
• Lauren Conrad on the rumor that she hooked up with Justin Bobby: "These accusations are so crazy, it's difficult for me to take them seriously. While my usual taste in guys isn't always perfect, I do prefer they shower regularly." [E!]
• History was made Saturday night, when Tyler Perry became the first African-American ever to launch his own major TV and film studio. Oprah cried. [People]
• Speaking of Oprah, she is being sued by the former headmistress of the Big O's Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa for defamation of character. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse supposedly received a "welcoming" phone call from the Church of Scientology, in which they offered her detox help. So crazy it just might work? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse has one thing going for her: She's not broke. [Mirror]
• Blake Incarcerated sent Amy's dad a "vile and abusive" letter filled with threats. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Holy crap, did Courtney Love have gastric band surgery to stay thin? [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Van Halen: Engaged. [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor is "heartbroken" after the death of Paul Newman. They starred together in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof and were friends for years. [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl is pulling in better ratings than it did a year ago, but the producer says "We try not to live and die by the ratings." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman has a great Sarah Palin recap video. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Miss Jackson is still nasty: Janet has postponed 3 more shows our her tour due to illness. [AP]
• Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, was at the Stella McCartney show, being disruptive by clapping along to the music "way too loud." Paul McCartney was just a few seats away. [Daily Express]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham in yet another pair of ridiculous shoes. [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp wants to be in the Little Britain movie. Computer says yes? [Mirror]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off this weekend in New Jersey; there were "guest appearances" by Kanye West and Justin Timberlake and the performance was a "success." This review says: "The 50-year-old has toughened up, replacing some of the frothiness of her pure pop days with a bracing physicality." [Variety]
• Kylie Minogue was seen "looking cozy" with a "dark-haired mystery man" in Paris. Get it! [The Sun]
• Rachael Ray has a benign cyst on her vocal cord, which she'll have minor surgery to remove in early December. [UPI]
• So you know how we heard that Ali Lohan might work with Johnny Wright, who had produced Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers? Johnny Wright says: "Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali's music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false." Haha wow. [Page Six]
• Salma Hayek wore a traditional Bavarian dress on German TV and her cups runneth over. [The Sun]
• Pam Anderson delivered Hugh Hefner's birthday cake — in the nude. [Mirror]
• Beyoncé's "wedding" ring is about 18 carats and worth about $4.3 million dollars. Don't drop it down the drain! [Daily Mail]
• Blind items! #1: "Which wife of a rock superstar has been punishing him for going to strip clubs without her? The spouse has spent about $30 million on a house they don't really need to get back at him for not including her in his adventures." #2: "Which boy-band member is going to shock his female fans when he comes out of the closet?" [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson says her her biggest accomplishment in life was "giving birth without painkillers" and her happiest moment was: "just after giving birth without painkillers." [Daily Express]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife blabs about the Hoff being a drunk: "He’s an alcoholic. He has a disease, just like cancer." [Daily Mail]
• Shakira's for Obama. [AP]
• Rumer Willis was named after the British writer Rumer Godden: "I don’t know whether my mom had read much of her stuff, I guess she may have just been in a bookshop and liked the sound of it. I used to get teased at school, Rumer Tumor, that kind of thing, but I’ve got used to it. You do." [Times Of London]
• David Spade has texted Heather Locklear to check in with her. He says: "I think there's no one that doesn't feel for her or have nice things to say about her in my experience." [People]
• Bond vs. Bond! Sean Connery's new book, Being A Scot, has sold only 5,000 copies since its release in August. Roger Moore's biography, My Word Is Bond, is doing much better. [Telegraph]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton says The Spice Girls are over. "We're all in our 30s now and, let's face it, by then most people aren't doing the same thing they were when they were 18, which is how old I was when I first met the girls. I'm ready to move forward." [Daily Mail]
• A judge has ordered a Texas doctor and his wife not to distribute video footage of Anna Nicole Smith's breast augmentation surgery in 1994. Thanks, judge. [The Star UK]
• Joss Stone will make her small screen debut in The Tudors, playing Henry VIII's wife Anne of Cleves. [Daily Express]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn't want his kids to inherit his £750million fortune. He says: "They aren’t bothered. They don’t think that way. It is about having a work ethic – I don’t believe in inherited money at all. I am not in favour of children suddenly finding a lot of money coming their way because then they have no incentive to work." [Mirror]
• Does Marilyn Manson owe his former bandmate $20 million in back pay? He'll be in court November 3 and we'll find out. [E!]
• Sad face: Carol Channing fell at her home and broke her leg and hip. Speedy recovery! [Modesto Bee]
• If you want to know all about John Lennon's adultery pact, when he left Yoko Ono for a year of "reckless debauchery" and told her, "You must take a lover too," then click here. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Bacon will produce a Showtime series called The Booths about the man who would assassinate Abraham Lincoln. [Variety]
• Rod Stewart's son is in rehab. [The Sun]
• Jude Law picked up some dancer at a club in NYC and she stayed "holed up" in his hotel room for three days. [Page Six]
• There's Bull Durham sequel in the works. No, really. [Page Six]
• "I'm going to stop playing when I'm 67 and work on what I really want to do, which is to be a minister, like Little Richard." — Carlos Santana. [Reuters]
• "I've always admired her talent. She's somewhat hampered sometimes by having this gorgeous face, the most gorgeous face on the planet. She's on covers and all that stuff. But she is a great talent, and it would be easy to overlook that, except after seeing this you realize that she is this great, talented person." — Clint Eastwood on Angelina Jolie, who stars in The Changeling, which he directed. [People]
• "I really loved my husband's penis. It was really pretty." — Pink. [Mirror]

• Britney was at a middle school in The Bronx yesterday to present a $10,000 check for the music program. The donation came from Elizabeth Arden, which is behind Brit's fragrances, Believe, Fantasy and Curious. [People]
• Hey, guess who has another perfume coming out in December? [ONTD]
• So yesterday we read that Britney wanted to buy her sex tape from Adnan Ghalib. Today Adnan says: "There is no sex tape. I’m extremely upset and taking legal action." Um, against whom? Also, even if there is no "sex" tape, there's no doubt he has some footage of her dazed and naked. You just know it. Think about the state she was in back then. [The Sun]
• Oh here we go, more quotes from Adnan: "There is no sex tape, and I've never claimed there is one. I don't know where these quotes I'm supposed to have said have come from. What I do know is they certainly didn't come from me and they are completely false. I'm extremely upset and distressed and I'm taking legal action... This story has caused a lot of hurt to my family and people close to me. There is no sex tape. That is the end of the matter." [Star]
• OMFG: Did LC hook up with JustinBobby behind Audrina's back??? [E!]

• Lily Allen's friends want her to go to rehab, since she drinks too much and always feels depressed. Sniff. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Fey's Palin videos are getting big traffic for NBC's website. And she's not even an SNL regular anymore. [MediaWeek]
• The Heather Locklear/Jill Ishkanian story is long and complicated, but it seems to involve Denise Richards. [Jossip]
• Did you know that Charlize Theron makes a shitload of money just for wearing jewelry? [The Smoking Gun]
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Winter wedding? [The Superficial]
• Have you seen this video with Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Benicio Del Toro, Laura Linney, Eva Longoria, Leo DiCaprio and ton of other celebs encouraging you to vote? [People]
• There's also a video with Demi Moore and Ashton and "Barack Obama." [Perez Hilton]
• David Beckham spent the whole night drinking with some guy he thought was Rex Lee — Lloyd from Entourage — but it was just a prankster. [Mirror]
• Shia LaBeouf: Injured again, this time above the eyebrow, by a prop on the set of Transformers. He got stitches, then it was back to work. [Perez Hilton]
• Bianca Golden, the America's Next Top Model contestant who had an airport showdown with Nikki Blonsky and her family this summer, has spoken out for the first time about the incident to Tyra Banks (of course!). Bianca says Nikki was rude to her family from the beginnning and that "her father … punched my mom. He knocked her out. He hit my mom with such force she stumbled back, and when she stumbled back, the whole family got up and attacked my mom." Then the Blonsky family supposedly yelled racist remarks at the Goldens. DRAMA! [Perez Hilton]
• Jamie Hince, Kate Moss's ex, went to a psychic in L.A. after a "massive drinking session" and had to be helped out the place. Did the clairvoyant see a reconciliation in her crystal ball? [The Sun]
• Word is Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady will get married very soon. A friend says: "I don't think they will even bother getting engaged — and will just slip off and marry quietly." [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Crowe gained 63 pounds for his role in Body Of Lies. He says: "I'll have that cheeseburger for breakfast, thank you!" [UPI]
• A women's shelter cut headliner Sandra Bernhard from its annual benefit after she said Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin would be gang-raped if she ever visited New York. Jokes! [AP]
• Russell Brand wants to sleep with Helen Mirren. "She's so sexy and enchanting, just look at her form." They're going to be working together in a new film version of Shakespeare's The Tempest. Russell says: "I'll be all over her. I don't know how I'll get any work done." [Mirror]
• Is Holly Madison heading for The Hills? She was seen partying with Lo, Brody and Frankie. [E!]
• Jane Kaczmarek says even though she and hubs Bradley Whitford are television stars, their family only has one TV in the house. "We don't watch much TV," she claims. "We're big readers." [UPI]
• Were those nude Marilyn Monroe photos that are the subject of a lawsuit found in a garbage can 35 years ago? [AP]
• Robbie Williams is working on an aliens-inspired album, and has been writing alien-anthems at a UFO camp in Trout Lake, WA — a hot spot for alien encounters. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how Courtney Semel smacked a security guard in Vegas back in August? She's getting off with just paying a $250 fine. [TMZ]
• A cookbook from rapper Coolio? LOL! He says: "I'm a gourmet chef. I have my own YouTube channel for cooking. I do a lot of healthy fusion food - I do Black Italian - Blitalian, Black Asian - Blasian, Black English - Blenglish and I'm about to try Black Scottish - Blottish. I like traditional food and putting my own twist on it." [Daily Express]
• Get your tie dye out, Phish is reuniting. [Newser]
• Rickrolling has brought Rick Astley back into the public eye, and he's up for an MTV Europe Music Award this year, although he has never been nominated before. [BBC News]
• Behold: Luke Ledger, Heath's cousin. Also an actor. [News.com.au]
• Here's a funny little story told by actor Sir Michael Gambon, about Johnny Depp meeting the Queen. [Telegraph]
• Ang Lee is working on a comedy about Woodstock. The 1969 concert, not the tiny bird who's friends with Snoopy. [Reuters]
• "I think my only trick is… be normal and kind of have your shit together. And be consistent and reliable. Just not a flake. Really, the thing is, not to be a superflake. Don't be an asshole. Don't be supercocky. Don't be a show-off. Everyone for some reason feels the need to show off." — David Spade, on how he gets so many chicks. [Radar]
• "I definitely think there's more opportunity in television to a certain degree. But I don't know that there's as much opportunity for a lot of people of color to spread their wings because sometimes it came be very limited. But there are so many filmmakers that are willing to take more risk, and do color-blind casting — that's how a lot of things have come to pass for me […} You can get shafted both ways — you can be too American, or you can be too Chinese. It's a very difficult combination to be neither/nor, or either/or. It's nice to be able to embrace all cultures and to jump from one thing to another, which is kind of the whole reason for acting, to transform yourself, you know?" — Lucy Liu. [Wall Street Journal]
• "I have a great guy that's been around me for 15 years and he likes to yell at me every time I come into the office. He's a cranky old man. I love him. He is a Jungian therapist. He's taught me to listen to my psyche, be aware of what is going on and to make great choices." — Pamela Anderson. [Guardian]
• "The film is particularly painful for some people to watch. They keep hoping for a different ending. The great thing for me as an actor is I get to play all that anger on screen. So I don't have to live with it." — Kevin Spacey, on his flick Recount, about the 2000 election and the hanging chad debacle. [Independent]

• Oprah! In final talks! To be on 30 Rock! She'll play herself in scenes with Tina Fey's character Liz Lemon. Will Arnett and Jennifer Aniston are also making appearances on the show this fall. The bad news? The season premiere doesn't air until October 30. [E!]
• Paris Hilton has "manipulated" the Toronto Film Festival to get more publicity for a documentary about herself. There were three screenings of the film Paris, Not France; now there is only one, because that will "create more buzz." Hasn't her moment in the spotlight come and gone? [Page Six]
• The trailer for Lindsay Lohan's new movie, Labor Pains, is online. LL plays a publishing assistant who avoids getting fired by pretending to be pregnant. It looks almost barely funny. [People]

• Jon Voight is one of the few openly Republican celebrities at the RNC. He thinks John McCain is "an amazing guy." He says Sarah Palin was a "beautiful choice." He claims John McCain's 95-year-old mom is "tough as nails." [LA Times]
• Jennifer Lopez commissioned a book of nude photos of herself two weeks before she gave birth and gave it to hubby Mark Anthony. "I was like, how am I going to rock this moment of my life? I felt very womanly. Marc was in a dream. He loved it." [Star]
• This headline reads: "Sex Addict David Duchovny 'Cheated On Wife Tea Leoni For Years." Oh, dear. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims that Tea Leoni has been visiting Duchovny in rehab. [ONTD]
• More on Duchovny's "indiscretions" and Leoni's ultimatum: "Get treatment or our marriage is over." [Rush & Molloy]
• Paula Abdul loves her new American Idol cohost Kara DioGuardi, whom she met years before. Apparently the two have been hanging out in hotel rooms, going to dinner and sharing laughs about the old days in the music biz. Paula says: "The American Idol cast was such a boys club, now I have a true sister to share the fun with. It's been amazing." [Page Six]
• Star Jones has a new gentlemanfriend! They were seen kissing in the stands of the US Open. He's a chef! [People]
• Here's video of drunk Lily Allen on stage with Elton John at the GQ Awards. You can see her say, "Fuck off Elton," as previously discussed. [Perez Hilton]
• Entourage is coming back September 7, with special guest stars Leighton Meester and Tony Bennett. [Fox News]
• David Spade's a father: Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace gave birth to Spade's daughter Aug. 26 in Missouri. Back in January, Spade said: "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility." Guess the test came back positive. [UPI]
• Yesterday, a judge dismissed most of a lawsuit filed by a woman who accused a paparazzi agency of secretly filming Heath Ledger doing drugs in her hotel room. She needs to amend her claims if she wants to get anywhere. [Yahoo News]
• Britney was busted for driving with an invalid license last year, and she might have to go to trial in October. [E!]
• Lynne Spears' new book says Britney started drinking at 13, lost her virginity at 14 and did drugs at 15. Gimme more! [News.com.au]
• Christina Aguilera's greatest hits CD — which features two new songs and rerecorded versions of two other hits — will be released only at Target. Can you believe it's been ten years since her first album? [USA Today]
• An in-depth look at Bono's do-gooding. [Wired]
• Blender magazine has named 2Pac the most overrated artist. Are they not afraid of getting shot? [Reuters]
• Headline of the day: "How Did Glamour Model Jordan Become A Bestselling Author When She Doesn't Even Write?" [Daily Mail]
• Earlier this year, 90210's Jennie Garth had a terrible family crisis: "I had this six months of hell," she says. "I had a sick daughter and then my father passed away, so there was a six month period in my life when I didn't think about my looks or my weight or my body or anything." Turns out her kid had a form of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis but it's in remission now. [People]
• Mackenzie Philips was charged with cocaine and heroin possession yesterday after being arrested last week while going through airport security. Oh, she's also charged with unauthorized possession of a hypodermic needle. [Yahoo News]
• If you've got half a million dollars, check out the Jimi Hendrix, Beatles and Elvis memorabilia up for auction today. $900,000 will get you a scorched guitar that Jimi set on fire in London in March 1967! [AP]
• RIP Bill Melendez, the animator for Snoopy, Charlie Brown and other Peanuts characters. He met Peanuts creator Charles Schulz in 1959. The two became friends and Melendez was the only one authorized to animate his characters. [AP]
• "When I was 3, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since." — Sarah Silverman in Rolling Stone. [Page Six]
• "My father saved my life. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him." — Britney Spears. [MSNBC]
• "You were the love of my life. I’ll always love you. You know that, baby." — Anne Hathaway's supposed parting words to Rafaello Follieri. [MSNBC]
• "I'm over being a pop star. I don't wanna be a hot girl. I wanna be iconic. And I feel like I've accomplished a lot. I feel like I'm highly respected, which is more important than any award or any amount of records. And I feel like there comes a point when being a pop star is not enough." — Beyoncé. [ET]
• "In Scotland I'm just like a lot of other guys. But in America I'm seen as a very strong, masculine guy. In Glasgow, you probably grow up faster. You have to deal with more shit, more realism. In LA, it's a superficial, perfect world. In Glasgow, you're expected to be a man - but it doesn't make you the perfect man. It makes you a man who's not able to talk about his feelings." — Hot Scot Gerard Butler. [Guardian]

The Good
Anna Faris, aka "That girl from Scary Movie" looks downright pretty.
I love Emmanuelle Chriqui's nightgown-inspired dress, because lord knows I love me a nightgown.
Oh look, it's "that chick from Superbad" looking super good. Her name is Emma Stone; take note friends.
Malina Akerman from Harold and Kumar To To White Castle rocks a dress I'd wear 420 times in a row.
Not that Adam Sandler is unattractive, but you know he's got to be psyched to be standing alongside his gorgeous, pregnant wife.
It's the super cool dude from Happy Days! Just kidding, it's David Spade channeling The Fonz, channeling my heart.


The Bad
Old School's Perrey Reeves looks sorta "mother-of-the-bride" here. Ha, just kidding. Michael Kors always says that on Project Runway and I don't even really know what it means. She actually just looks boring.
Jenna Dewan would look a lot better if she was wearing something else.


The Ugly

Rob Schneider is psyched: he gets to go out with a mermaid!
Oh Charlotte Rae: I don't even mind your fantasy cruise outfit, but those open-toed shoes? No. They look like Tevas from space. Are they Velcro?
Okay, Marissa Jaret Winokur: We get it. You were in Hairspray. You love hair, you love life, you are joyous and jubilant. Too happy in fact. It's annoying. Get dark already.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
God bless Helen Hunt: She still looks beautiful.



Nom nom Ryan Eggold.



The Bad:
Courteney Cox looks a little trashy. The cut of her pants and top create a really strange silhouette on her body.



As Tim Gunn would say, the colors are muddy in Ashley Johnson's ensemble. As Michael Kors would say, she looks too old lady. And as Nina Garcia would say... Nina wouldn't speak: She would just make a judgmental face.



I want to like Shannon Woodward's playful dress, but something just ain't right.



David Spade: "Hey little girl, want some candy?"



Thou shalt not wear a copper muumuu, Sharon Lawrence.



The Ugly:
Alexandra Breckenridge looks ghastly in garish green.

[Images via Getty.]

• Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend, model Camilla Alves, is pregnant. These are the eloquent words the actor and surfer dude wrote: "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. Its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation." There's more, but you get the point. Also: The kid's gonna be gorgeous. [Us Magazine]
  
• RIP Brad Renfro, star of flicks like The Client and Apt Pupil. The 25-year-old was found dead in his home yesterday. [TMZ, NY Times]
  
• Britney Spears was completely naked in a Betsey Johnson store over the weekend, says an employee at the boutique. "Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting." Uh, maybe he was helping her try on clothes? [Page Six]

• Paris Hilton's ex, Stavros Niarchos, is pursuing Victoria's Secret model Izabel Goulart. I dunno why we need to know this. [Page Six]
• Melissa Rivers: Grabby at a gift suite. So annoying how celebs get so much free stuff. Wait, is she a celeb? [Page Six]
• Sean Penn, who wrote for the San Francisco Chronicle in the past, drafted a letter calling the publication an "increasingly lamebrain paper." The Chronicle printed his letter, hee hee! [Editor & Publisher]
• Uh oh, Amy Winehouse is having visa issues. She may not be able to go to the Grammys! Then again, the Grammys could be canceled because of the writers' strike. [Gatecrasher]
• Dr. Phil is looking for celebs to appear on his 1,000th episode; after the Britney debacle, stars are not so interested. Could the doc use some therapy? [Gatecrasher]
• And Britney's suicide note, which was mentioned in last week's midweek madness, is about her loneliness, how unfair life is and how she can't trust anyone, sigh. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which doe-eyed young TV star is attracting attention for his indiscreet way with cocaine? 'He will do it absolutely anywhere,' says a source. 'Don't tell anybody!'" [Gatecrasher]
• Was Gwyneth Paltrow in the hospital because of a troubled pregnancy? [Rush & Molloy]
• Theives broke into Sadie Frost's London home — while she was there. The burglars took a cash and laptop. And this isn't the first time her house has been robbed: It happened in 2006 as well. Someone call security! [Daily Mail]
• Says someone who works for Zoey 101, Jamie Lynn Spears' show: "Everyone on the set is shocked by Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. "They don't know who did it... It could be anyone on the show!" [Rush & Molloy]
• David Spade: Maybe knocked up a Playboy Playmate. What is with that guy getting hot chicks? [TMZ]
• Linsday Lohan tried to avoid the paparazzi by wearing a brunette wig on her way to traffic school. Didn't work. [TMZ]
• John Mayer is defending Jessica Simpson on his blog, asking people who claim she jinxed Dallas Cowboys star Tony Romo to back off. "That girl loves Texas more than you know," he wrote. "It's one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don't try and take that away from her." It's a decent thing for an ex to do; making it hard to hate on this guy, ugh. [People]
• Eva Longoria is also defending Jessica Simpson. She relates, because her husband is a sports star, you see? Groan. [LA Times]
• OMG Zac Efron hospitalized! Teen hearts aflutter! The 20-year-old High School Musical star had his appendix taken out yesterday and will be fine. He should be shirtless on the cover of a magazine again real soon. [People]
• Gwen Stefani moving to London? A source says she'll stay there fro a while so her hubby can launch his solo career. [Mirror]
• Avril Lavigne had been accused of plagiarism regarding her hit "Girlfriend" but as been exonerated, phew. Apparently the lyrics and theme (Hey, you, I don't like your girlfriend) are like, common or something? [People]
• The FCC was asked if ABC or Diane Keaton would face consequences for her F-Bomb on Good Morning America. Chairman Kevin Martin: "I don't know." [Reuters]
• Childhood photos of Katie Holmes reveal that Suri looks just like her, shocker. In any case, no one doubts who Suri's mother is — just her father, right? [Daily Mail]
• Robert Blake is appealing his wrongful death verdict in which he was ordered to pay the survivors of Bonny Lee Bakeley $30 million. Blake and his lawyer are saying that the jurors were "incompetent," and "guilty of misconduct." Please just let it end! [AP]

The Good: Sophia Bush looks sleek, Eve proves that jumpsuits are hot, Oleysa Rudin rocks modest-chic, and Emily Deschanel is just so pretty and classy that we would totally hate her if we didn't totally love her.

The Bad: Miley Cyrus found Nemo — on her dress, Avril Lavigne needs to get a new look already, Vanessa Hudgens looks like Cleopatra at the prom, and Hillary Duff could be twins with pre-nose job Ashlee Simpson

The Ugly: David Spade, Ryan Seacrest, Sanjaya, and Larry Birkhead: Enough said.

[Universal City, CA; August 26. Images via FilmMagic.]