• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

• Chris Brown will not be singing on Good Morning America next week as scheduled. He will, however, "come clean" in a primetime interview about what happened the night he assaulted former girlfriend Rhianna. [NY Post]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have not, repeat NOT split up. Says a rep for Witherspoon. A person who, a year or so ago, probably would not have confirmed the two were together. [Us Magazine]
• Meanwhile, "in the wake of infidelity rumors," Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are about to spend time apart: She will be working on a musical in the US and then filming a movie in Germany. Will the marriage survive?!?!? [UPI]
• Britney Spears allegedly proposed to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, only to have him reject the offer. Allegedly. This made her "furious," so she (allegedly) "banished" Jason from Australia, where she is on tour. [MTV.com.au]
• Perez Hilton has written a second book, in which he claims that Drew Barrymore is "always fucked up" and is "not the sober kitten that the main public may think she is." In addition, he claims that "someone" tips off the photogs when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want to show the world pictures of themselves together. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite an apparent suicide note via Twitter, Michael Lohan is not dead, did not try to kill himself and the Twitter account saying so is not even his. [Gawker]
• Meryl Streep is on the cover of Vanity Fair and says: "It's incredible-I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave." Director Mike Nichols claims: "She broke the glass ceiling of an older woman being a big star-it has never, never happened before." [Vanity Fair]
• Rachel Uchitel, who is being called Tiger Woods' alleged mistress (as we learned in Midweek Madness, Star magazine alleges Uchitel has been sexting Tiger) is working with famed lawyer Gloria Allred now and the two are "deciding" what the next step will be. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel says: "I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]. Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine but they're not." [E!]
• Tiger Woods canceled a meeting with the Florida Highway Patrol. [TMZ]
• The FHP is trying to obtain a search warrant to seize medical records from the hospital which treated Tiger Woods. The idea is to find out if his injuries were from car accident or domestic violence; some reports claim that his wife followed him out of the house and struck his moving car with a gold club, causing him to hit a fire hydrant and tree. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt's "Make It Right" homes in New Orleans are getting mixed reviews. Some people feel that the architecture is not grounded in the history of New Orleans and that the houses can be "alien, sometimes even insulting," [PopEater]
• Michael Jackson's enormous debt may be paid off, thanks to the music royalties and box-office bonanza from This Is It. [Daily Express]
• Mary Murphy wants Tom Cruise to be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance, and Katie Holmes says: "He would be great. He really would." It'll happen, if Xenu wills it so! [E!]
• Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz sped away from a stampede via motorcycle in Cadiz, Spain yesterday — it was a scene was for their flick Knight & Day, but the stampede was real. [NY Post]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI Saturday night. Bail was set at $15,000; Bach was released on her own recognizance and attended an AA meeting yesterday. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, David Hasselhoff was under an involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the weekend after drinking a "large amount of alcohol." [Radar Online]
• Except: David Hasselhoff's lawyer denies that David was on a psych hold: "David's at home. He's fine. I'm not sure where that information is coming from." [E!]
• Rumor has it Kate Moss is sick of the "media glare" in the UK and may move to New York or Paris, where, as you may know, there are absolutely no paparazzi or tabloids. [Daily Mail]
• After a record-breaking opening weekend, New Moon's ticket sales dropped nearly 70% from Friday to Sunday. Somehow, The Blind Side is doing really well. [Us Magazine]
• Rihanna says: "I haven't been in touch with my dad for a year and a half... by his choice. He came on tour and acted a mess. We sent him home and after that he didn't answer my calls." Her dad says: "I leave messages for her but I never hear back. I want nothing more in this world than to see my daughter again and to be part of her life." And: "I'm sorry and I love you." A page from the MIchael Lohan book of child/parent communication! [Mirror]
• Taylor Momsen does that sullen, insomniac teen thing so well in the new Japanese edition of NyLon. [ONTD]
• Congrats to Tom Arnold, who was married for the fourth time in Hawaii on Saturday. The lady's name is Ashley Groussman and the wedding had an Asian theme; the couple chanted a Buddhist prayer after exchanging rings. [Us Magazine]
• You know, if we're not supposed to be admiring the physique of 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, then stop shooting slo-mo video of his biceps. Jeez. [Rolling Stone]
• Taylor Lautner says that once Jamie Foxx approached him and said, "Hey, my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan. Is there any way I can get a picture with you? I'm Jamie Foxx." To which Taylor replied: "Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Jon Gosselin tweeted that he was going to his grandma's for Thanksgiving, but Hailey Glassman tweeted: "LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/ ‘friends'-lol-ur redic." [Gatecrasher]
• When Tila Tequila performs, she demands that there be 20 cans of Red Bull on hand "at all times." Healthy! [Page Six]
• When Simon Cowell's X Factor comes to the US, the contestants will be vying for a chance to sing in Las Vegas. [NY Post]
• According to a police report, in early November, Anthony Michael Hall "bit his girlfriend's forehead" and "pushed, shoved and spit at" her during a fight in her apartment. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Hugh Laurie has a black eye, obtained while boxing. [Daily Express]
• Seriously, I can't believe that thieves transferred more than £200,000 from Ricky Gervais's bank account — using a fake passport with a picture of Gervais playing David Brent cut from a DVD of The Office. Insane. [Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's album is at the top of the UK charts. [NY Post]
• "The brother of Susan Boyle said U.S. actress Kathy Bates should portray his sister in a film about the amateur Scottish singer's life." [UPI]
• Michael Kenneth Williams, aka Omar from The Wire, plays a thief in The Road. He says he was Method acting for the role: "I followed Viggo [Mortensen]'s cues. We didn't wash, we didn't cut our hair. No grooming. I smelled. I reeked." And! He'll be in a new HBO crime drama produced by Martin Scorsese. He says: "I'm not afraid of typecasting; I'm afraid of not eating." [NY Mag]
• Welcome to the digital age, Bill Cosby! Congrats on your new website, Facebook account, Twitter account and Flickr account. [NY Times]
• "Jay Leno Losing His Audience To DVR Machines." [AP]
• "I wanted to be on the edge of personal space that is shy of violating a person's privacy but close enough to suggest intimacy. I was trusting my intuition from my past [talk show] experience when I'd ask myself, why is this desk in between me and the person I'm talking to?" — William Shatner has a special face-to-face couch on his Raw Nerve show on Bio. [NY Post]
• "I don't want to be any kind of a happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it embarrassing. You have to get involved with other people's relatives and great aunt Bessies and all of that — and I'd rather not. I'm 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don't mind at all." — Morrissey. At the link, check out Moz's Desert Island Discs: New York Dolls, Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges. [Guardian]
• "I've become a bit of a gym person. I feel apologetic about it because it looks a little uncool, but I like to have an appointment every day. Plus it's the only time I watch TV." — Claire Danes. [Times of London]
• "Whilst we press politicians to pass global laws to reduce carbon emissions, we should not forget our individual capacity to act in ways that will help to fight climate change - such as limiting the eating of meat. Having one designated meat-free day a week is a meaningful change that everyone can make." — Paul McCartney. [BBC News]
• "From the '93 case — they accused him of just the most horrible things. This kid's father has committed suicide because he just couldn't take it, and now the kid has come forth and said, Michael never touched him." — Jermaine Jackson, on Evan Chandler, who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing his son Jordy. [OMG via Access Hollywood]
• "I read once that Alexander the Great would've not been great, that great, if he would've not traveled with the historians who documented his multiple battles and his victories. So documenting your work is important, making sure that the work, if it's well done, if you put many hours and effort and energy into that, that it does its job, that it's presented the right way. And that's when you make sure that you're surrounded by intelligent people who can also contribute to your career in great ways… You can't win a battle if you don't have the right army behind you." — Shakira. [LA Times]
• "I definitely believe in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets. There's just so much space out there to not believe in that. For me, the idea with this movie is to be open to change. You should be accepting of change because, only through change, can you grow and learn more about yourself, as a human or alien." — Jessica Biel, who voices an alien in Planet 51. [Independent]
• "I like me better naked. I don't mean that in a vain way… When you put clothes on, you immediately put a character on. Clothes are adjectives, they are indicators. When you don't have any clothes on, it's just you, raw, and you can't hide." — Padma Lakshmi. [Page Six]
• "The word gay has become used as a derogatory term and this is something which education can help to resolve. Either that or we choose another word to describe ourselves. I rather like another G word – glorious." — Ian McKellen. [Daily Express]
• "The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, 'You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.' And I was like, 'What the fuck … are you talking about?' But from that point on, I thought, Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied." — Donald Glover, who quit 30 Rock before being cast on Community. [NY Mag]
• "Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this! I've always been borderline raunchy and a little sexy. But sexy at 19 and sexy at 21 is two different things. I'm just having fun. When naked pictures I'd sent to a boyfriend were leaked this year I was so nervous and embarrassed that my mom was going to see them. But she reacted in the most surprising way. She just sent me a text saying, 'You're an adult now.' Basically saying, 'Welcome to the real world.' She says I'm a woman now so I have to handle things like an adult." — Rihanna. [The Sun]
• "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing." — Meryl Streep. [Page Six]

• Tiger Woods was briefly hospitalized after his car crashed into a fire hydrant and tree outside of his home early Friday morning. Woods suffered lacerations on his lips, but is otherwise "in good condition." [Reuters]

• Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, who was not in the car at the time of the crash, was responsible for pulling Woods out of the crashed vehicle by smashing the back windshield with golf clubs and pulling Woods, who was drifting "in and out of consciousness" out of the car. [People]
• TMZ is reporting a markedly different version of the story, however, claiming that Elin scratched Tiger's lips up before the accident, during a fight the two had over rumors that Woods was seeing another woman. Tiger then attempted to drive away, which is when Elin hit the back windshield with the golf clubs and Tiger drove into the hydrant. Oh, dear. [TMZ]
• Woods was reportedly unconscious for six minutes after the accident occurred. [DailyMail]
• Though alcohol has been ruled out as a cause of the crash, "unspecified charges" are apparently still pending. [TimesOnline]
• Ugh: Chris Brown will be interviewed by Robin Roberts for an episode of 20/20 on December 11. [Yahoo]
• The Arabian Horse Foundation has established a scholarship in the name of Patrick Swayze and his wife as a tribute to their "love of the Arabian breed and contributions over the years to AHA youth programs." [Yahoo]
• Kevin Federline pulled out of a radio show appearance in Australia after the station advertised that he'd discuss the possibility of getting back together with his ex, Britney Spears. Says Federline's publicist: "The headline was completely out of context with the interview and Kevin is not getting back with Britney, so he said, 'F... them, I'm not going to do their show'."[News.Au]
• Cate Blanchett says that vacuuming is a "therapeutic" experience: "It's a very satisfying noise when you hear all that grit sucked up from the floor and into the machine." [People]
• Courtney Love spent her Thanksgiving at Scores with actor DJ Qualls, which somehow seems totally normal. [PageSix]
• "The success of the Twilight books comes from the fact that fans can lust after Edward and yet, certainly in the first book, there's no actual sexual contact between him and the series heroine."- Robert Pattinson [ShowbizSpy]
• Rihanna had this advice for the remaining contestants on Britain's X-Factor: "'In this industry, if they can't take the comments that the judges are giving them, then they won't be prepared for this world. This world is a lot more intense and the comments can be a lot worse." [DailyMail]
• Zachary Quinto says that playing Spock hasn't really changed life just yet: "I don't know, maybe I should be chased down the street by rabid Star Trek fans. But I engage fans on a personal level, and I engage them as myself. It's really important that those boundaries are clear, and that's always been the case in my life. It seems to be working." [JustJared]
• David Hasselhoff was hospitalized yesterday after reportedly suffering a seizure. [RadarOnline]
• Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow showed up "practically clutching" each other at a party in Morocco recently, which clearly means they were talking shit about their mutual ex, Brad Pitt, and his tendency to copy their haircuts. [PageSix]
• "I still am a tomboy. I love to go fishing. I love sports. I used to play ice hockey. You know, I think people only see the glamour and the parties, but when I'm at home I'm completely different."-Paris Hilton [People]
• Megan Fox is a big fan of military men: "Every time I've ever come in contact with anybody from the military. You're always the most chivalrous, polite and respectful men I've ever met." [JustJared]
• A cellmate of Roman Polanski claims that the director was given special treatment in jail, including multiple phone calls to his lawyers and his wife and access to the guards at all times via a special call button. [DailyExpress]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, plans to release home videos of Lopez sometime next week, despite a $10 million lawsuit filed by Lopez earlier this month. [RadarOnline]
• "I do have a slight disability – I had difficulty trying to express myself properly and music is a release for me. I've grown up a bit, I'm more of a lady. I accept now that my life will never be the same and I don't want it to end. It's OK. It's comfortable on my shoulders right now. I don't feel pressure, I feel a sense of humility."- Susan Boyle [DailyExpress]
• Cobra Starship (or, if you were an early 00s emo kid, Midtown) singer Gabe Saporta had his phone briefly confiscated after he was spotted taking pictures of Lindsay Lohan while she partied. "The security team didn't care that he was the deejay," says a source, "They went up to Gabe, took his camera and erased all of his pictures to make sure there were none of her drinking or looking like she was having too much fun." [PageSix]
• Carrie Fisher admits that it's still a bit weird to hear Paul Simon sing songs about their relationship: "It is kind of trippy 15, 20 years down the line to turn on the radio and hear yourself complained about in song." [DailyExpress]
• OMG, you guys: The Blind Side actually beat New Moon at the box office on Thanksgiving. [EW]
• Despite (or perhaps because of) the controversy surrounding Adam Lambert after his fairly scandalous AMA's performance, Lambert's debut album, For Your Entertainment, is selling quite well. [CNN]
• Zig-a-zag-ouch: Victoria Beckham may undergo bunion-removal surgery after years of wearing super-high heels. "She is suffering from shooting pain from the bunions," says a source, "Normally, she kicks off her shoes in the house, but she has been out so much recently in high heels that she is really feeling it." [NYDN]
• "As a gangsta ass football coach who loved his family and kids and did tha best at everything he did and didn't take shit from no one, ya dig?!"-Snoop Dogg, on how he'd like to be remembered. [Guardian]

Beyonce Knowles, the ultimate modernist bombshell, in classic form.


The Hoff - in one place where he's always appreciated.


Juliette Lewis is intent on making everyone remember, at every turn, that she is not a rocker. Apparently she does put on a killer show!


Leona Lewis' getup makes me ponder the wide range of human tastes and likes.


Doda's outfit might be called "representational." "Literal," even.


But eh voila! The bomb contracts into a...large, random black circle.


Luckily for Lil Kim, there is a great deal to be said for consistency in this unpredictable world.


Is the, um, border of Shakira's arm-hole intended to evoke an Edenic serpent? Can she sit down in that dress? Or walk in those shoes? So many questions!


Now that she's 25, Katy Perry is an elegant grown-up lady. Or at least a Gibson Girl.


Asia Argento models the latest in Flintstones chic.


Elena Paparizou, meanwhile, models last year's iteration.


Not sure why Miranda Cosgrove needed to come to Berlin, but I guess Nickelodeon likes to represent. As do harlequins. And she's doing them both proud!


Shadow-tie-dye and high boots? If anyone can work it, it's a tall drink of water like Joss Stone.

[Images via Getty]

• Nicole Kidman to British GQ: "I've explored obsession. I've explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I've explored strange sexual fetish stuff…"

"…I've explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy." She glosses right over that sexual fetish stuff and talks about marriage: "You work on it," she says. "It's a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you're very much out at sea. You're exposed. You could drown. When you commit to someone like that, you live and die together by that decision." Oh! And: "I became famous very young. I became very famous because I was the wife of somebody. I did a lot of good, worthwhile work in Australia between the ages of 14 and 19 and then I married someone famous. And really, despite the huge profile that brought to me, I was still finding my feet. I know my agents at the time were like 'Do not get married! It will ruin your career!' and I was like 'But I'm in love.' All I know is that I wasn't someone interested in fame. And that's not why I got married. I wanted to work with people who intrigued me." [Daily Mail via GQ]

• Nicole Kidman may have crazy info about her 10-year marriage to Tom Cruise, but she's not talking: "I have never discussed the intricacies of it and I never will," she says. "I am not writing a book. I will go to my grave with all my secrets, all my stories." [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt says his motorcycle crash was "a little mishap." He explains: "No injuries, except my ego. I was trying to get away from some paparazzi and instead gave them a good story. It was my favorite bike, so that is really sad." He's in Tokyo right now, and he says he will "definitely be looking at motorcycles" while there. [AP]
• Ladies and gentlemen, your Oscar hosts are Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. What say you of these choices? I like Baldwin, though I can't recall the last time I saw him — or Martin, for that matter — in a movie. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Alec Baldwin on hosting the Oscars: "I got lucky. Today's my lucky day." [NY Mag]
• Speaking of Alec Baldwin, that Lil' Wayne cake his daughter had for her birthday was not his idea. [NY Mag]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have requested to do press separately for New Moon. An insider says: "They want to avoid being seen together. Any time they're photographed in the same place, the rumor mill just starts all over again, and that makes the paparazzi hound them even more. They requested to do things apart so the scrutiny around them will be a little less intense." OK, which has already claimed ENGAGED!, WEDDING and SPLIT! will have to find a new angle. [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Martin's publicist says the married Coldplay frontman did not, repeat, NOT make out with Kate Bosworth, though a tabloid recently reported otherwise. [UPI]
• Nicolas Cage is suing his former money manager for $20 million but sources say Nic is a compulsive spender who bought houses, motorcycles, a jet, yachts, vintage and new cars, expensive watches, meteorites, dinosaur skulls, an enormous pet collection, massive amounts of jewelry for the women in his life, group vacations for his entire entourage, and on and on and on. "He lived like a sheik," an insider says. "Spent money like it was water." Click here for a gallery of his pricey assets. [The Daily Beast]
• Roman Polanski has re-appealed to the Swiss courts to be released from prison on bail. [NY Post]
• Why was Sean Penn's 16-year-old son arrested at school last week? Drugs. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman went to dinner on Halloween and there were people dressed up as Jon in the restaurant. Awkward! [Page Six]
• Did Jon Gosselin orchestrate Hailey Glassman's tearful confessions so they could get paid? [NY Daily News]
• Josh Duhamel says he did NOT cheat on Fergie and have a one night stand with a stripper from Atlanta. The stripper, Nicole Forrester, told an Atlanta radio station: "We did hook up and had lots of sex and we had a really, really good time." [People]
• The folks at Radar Online gave the stripper, Nicole Forrester, a polygraph test and she passed. An expert says "One of those questions was had she had sex with Josh Duhamel. And she answered yes." [Radar Online]
• Russell Brand is a changed man, thanks to Katy Perry. Or as this paper puts it, "The dinkle is dormant… except for his girlfriend." [The Sun]
• An insider says that Ashlee Simpson was kicked off of Melrose Place because "she was a total diva on set, late all the time, and deeply disliked by fellow cast members. t created a lot of discord among the cast." Oh, and "she could barely act. [Fox 411]
• Frances Bean Cobain caused a scene at an Amtrak counter. Dare we say like mother like daughter? [Page Six]
• So the reason a young boy could describe Michael Jackson's penis in the 1993 molestation case is not because he was molested but because MJ liked to pee in front of people? Makes sense, sorta, and yet: Do Not Want. [EW]
• David Hasselhoff has launched a new online series, Mitch Winehouse's Showbiz Rant. Yeah, Amy Winehouse's dad has a show. [Mirror]
• DJ AM's home in Beverly Hills is on the market, so if you'd like a four bedroom place with a lushly landscaped backyard with pool and spa — and you have $3,795,000 — act now. [Real Estalker]
• Bruce Springsteen is "quietly working" on his autobiography, which could be "the biggest rock music autobiography of all time." [NY Post]
• At the ACE awards, Lady Gaga left baby powder on Marc Jacobs' blazer. [NY Daily News]
• No one cares about Gossip Girl anymore. [NY Daily News]
• Kerry Washington is making her Broadway debut in David Mamet's play Race and says: "I had been missing theater for a long time, so I've been looking for the right play. To make a Broadway debut doing David Mamet and to originate a David Mamet role-this is the kind of shit you tell your kids about." [Village Voice]
• Kate Beckinsale's daughter will play the young version of Kate in a film; Kate says: "The producers harassed me for a long time saying 'can she audition?' and I said no because she would probably be on the set anyway, if she auditions and doesn't get it then she's going to feel horrible. Eventually she got wind of it and asked if she could and she got it fair and square." [Mirror]
• Mario Lopez and his dimples will host the Miss America pageant, which airs on TLC January 30. [AP]
• Sienna Miller is dating someone called DJ Slinky Wizard. [Page Six]
• The Glee cast can't walk in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade since it's an NBC production, so the parade is getting the next best thing: Jimmy Fallon and The Roots. Because that's who kids want to see. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At the link is one of the most distasteful things I have ever read. It's about Ryan Jenkins and a Halloween party. [TMZ]
• On the ABC soap One Life To Live, a gay character this week dumped his fiancé for another man mid-ceremony. [NY Post]
• The scene from Bruno in which LaToya Jackson is "interviewed" — and Bruno tries to get Michael Jackson's number out of her cell phone — will be included in the DVD release as an extra. [People]
• Q: What do you think when people throw the word "Oscar" around?
  A: "It makes me nervous. Because I don't know what an Oscar-winning film is. I don't know what an Oscar-winning actress is, other than the obvious examples — Halle Berry and Kate Winslet and all these people. I can't see it because it's too close to me. I haven't been in this business very long and I don't know what it looks like… If you interview me in two years and I have a couple of Oscars, I probably knocked someone out for [them]." — Precious star Gabby Sidibe. [LA Times]
• "I think we must all remember that the ultimate accessory is the condom." — Lady Gaga. [Page Six]
• "You can't read somebody's diary. You shouldn't read it. I burnt most of my journals after I remarried… You're only going to find out bad things." — Nicole Kidman. [Daily Mail via British GQ]
• "I can't keep always playing long-haired, scruffy men, otherwise my career would be limited. I was hoping one day to play Napoleon, but I can't play Napoleon as this shaggy-haired, bearded raconteur. But I did also want to play Rasputin, so that'll be good, I can look like this." — Russell Brand might cut his hair so he can get film roles. [The Star]
• "I do not believe in diets. I have been on diets in the past, and they are a bunch of bologna. This is a lifestyle change. It's not about being skinny. It's about getting in the best shape that you can be." — Tyra Banks. [Us Magazine]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, have been invited to spend Christmas on Johnny Depp's private island with Depp and his wife, Vanessa Paradis. Celebrities! They're just like us...if we had an ex-boyfriend with a private island. [TheSun]

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly together again, for the 80th time. [TheSun]
• The pair were seen eating dinner together with Courteney Cox Arquette and her husband, David, and Aniston was "was on his arm and they were very lovey." [TheSun]
• Meanwhile, Aniston and her father, John Aniston have come together to narrate a children's book for charity; $2 from each book sold will be given to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. [JustJared]
• Blake Lively is allegedly a very big fan of Victoria Beckham and recently tried to convince Beckham to guest star on Gossip Girl, taking her case to the producers of the show. "Victoria isn't an actress and wanted her role to be very tongue-in-cheek," says a source, "And an idea for her to play Ed Westwick's long-lost mother was quickly vetoed. Victoria joked that she'd rather play his ex-love interest!" [ShowbizSpy]
• 3,000 people came out to say farewell to Boyzone star Stephen Gately this morning at his funeral; Gately passed away at the age of 33 last week. [Reuters]
• Pete Wentz, who says he wants a "soccer team" of kids, also says that having a son made him realize how much his own father did for him: "It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." [People]
• An interesting question for your Saturday morning: "Is Kevin Costner Germany's new David Hasselhoff?" [People]
• Larry Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole Smith took methadone while pregnant with their daughter, Dannielynn, as she feared withdrawal would cause her to lose the baby. [NYDN]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was caught on tape screaming a homophobic slur at a doorman last night after being denied entrance a club. [TMZ]
• TLC reportedly knows just how much money Jon Gosselin has been making from his interviews and promotional appearances, and, according to RadarOnline, "the network wants all that money plus damages in a court battle that has the strong possibility of leaving Jon flat broke." [RadarOnline]
• Michael Crichton's wife and daughter are currently fighting over the late author's estate, as Crichton's daughter wants his wife (her step-mother) removed as trustee of Crichton's estate. [UPI]
• Levi Johnston is preparing for his upcoming Playgirl shoot by eating tons of lean protein, including moose meat, according to his trainer: "Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean." [People]
• Two Ohio police chiefs accused of breaking in to the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate in order to collect information on Parker and her husband, Matthew Broderick, to sell to the tabloids, face between 14-21 years of jail if convicted. [E!]
• Ryan Reynolds is currently working on a film "described as a dude-in-drag romantic comedy, with Reynolds playing a jilted lover who must disguise himself as a woman and befriend his ex in order to win her back." [Variety]
• "I've found that people are cool if you don't treat them like jerks."-Penn Badgely [NYTimes]
• Andrew Keegan's ex-girlfriend claims she isn't surprised that a judge refused to grant her a permanent restraining order against Keegan, whom she's accused of abusing her in the past: "
  "I'm fine. I guess deep down inside, I knew I had a slim chance in winning, considering I didn't hire an expensive lawyer to bail me out. In fact, I went alone as a strong woman who was standing up to someone who hurt her." [TMZ]
• "What they really want from us is just to open the movie and then get lost after introducing a new generation of ghostbusters, who can start the franchise all over again. I've heard the script idea, and part of it is good but, ye know, it's going to be tough to start again." -Bill Murray on Ghostbusters III [TimesOnline]
• Cindy Crawford says she gets her famous mole checked often, as she fears it might become cancerous. [DailyMail]
• Curious about the type of condoms Jamie Kennedy uses? Well, wonder no more, I guess. [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian says no matter what she does, bloggers and commenters will criticize her body: "Well, I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose. It's like I can never have a good body. But I have a really strong sense of self-esteem. It kind of frustrates me because I do work really hard. I eat really well and I try to look the best I can." [ShowbizSpy]
• Debbie Rowe has filed a $490,000 lawsuit against Rebecca White, who claimed that she had an email from Rowe stating that Rowe didn't want custody of her children with Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, ‘This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with."-Kristen Bell [ShowbizSpy]

• Radar Online reports that Heidi Klum gave birth to her fourth child, a daughter named Lou Samuel, early this morning. Us however, insists it isn't true, but labor is imminent. This shouldn't be so complicated, people. [Radar Online, Us]

• Last night on Models of the Runway, while the models were lined up and waiting to be eliminated, one of them farted. Tara Egan said, "The tension got broken a little bit on the runway because, I'm not gonna name names, but I think someone had a couple of, uh, gastrointestinal problems while we were on the runway." Heidi Klum said, "What happened? Someone farted? It wasn't me. Who's not laughing over there?" Celine Chua took responsibility explaining, "I'm a great farter." [E!]
• VIDEO: Mickey Rourke explains that when he uses the word f-word it has "nothing to do with gay," by making a weird football analogy and repeating the word about a dozen times. [TMZ]
• The president of GLAAD has issued a statement saying: "This is a slur that, regardless of what Mickey Rourke has convinced himself that it means, is often the last word that gay people and gay youth in particular, hear before they're bullied, harassed or assaulted. Rourke is showing himself to be painfully ignorant of how this vulgar, abusive slur feeds a climate of anti-gay hatred, intolerance and violence." [TMZ]
• John Legend says while other stars have come out in support of Roman Polanski, "I'm in support of justice. I don't get why everyone's defending his actions." And shook his head in disgust. Previously Legend Tweeted: "A man in his 30's cannot have 'consensual' sex with a 13-year-old. It is legally impossible for a child to give consent. It's rape." [Radar Online]
• A source says the Gosselin kids are, "confused and distraught and are acting out all the time in an effort to get attention from their parents." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin has filed for alimony from Jon Gosselin. [The Insider]
• BREAKING: Jon Gosselin bought his girlfriend Hailey Glassman a few drinks at a New York pub. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was drinking at Simon Cowell's birthday party this past weekend. [TMZ]
• Hasselhoff was hospitalized for two days in London after a drunken bender that ended with him allegedly punching a doctor. [TMZ]
• A day after Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter account, her dad Billy Ray Cyrus Tweeted: "I understand 'it is true one bad apple spoils the bunch.' But listen to the words of your songs 'Stand… for what ya believe in'…Remember? ... Miley. You are a light in a world of darkness. You were born"Destiny Hope Cyrus" for a reason.You can't leave everyone now.We r countin on u." [Perez Hilton]
• Rod Blagojevich will appear on The Celebrity Apprentice. [USA Today]
• A police officer testified in the John Travolta extortion trial that Pleasant Bridgewater destroyed the form with his signature when she "noticed the situation was about to explode." [The Mirror]
• Tori Spelling Tweeted about the Star magazine cover that claims she's wasting away at 95 lbs, "LIES! ... Literally not 1 factual thing in entire article. And, come 2 my house & weigh me Star! I'm 107 lbs." [People]
• Solja Boy was arrested in Georgia on Wednesday night after allegedly running from a police officer. Police say he was among a group of about 40 people hanging out in the yard of an abandoned house. [TMZ]
• Method Man was arrested for allegedly failing to pay taxes for four years but he says, "everything will be resolved. Trust me, it's a misunderstanding." [TMZ]
• The Duggar's first grandchild, Mackynzie Renée Duggar, was born at the home of her parents Joshua and Anna. They say they haven't committed to all of their children having "M" names, like Mackynzie's 18 aunts and uncles (and one on the way) who all have "J" names. [People]
• Usher recently called the cops on his soon-to-be-ex wife Tameka Raymond because he claims she snuck onto his property and stole one of his cars. Police determined there was no evidence to substantiate his claim. [TMZ]
• Audrina Patridge broke up with BMX racer Corey Bohan and was spotted on a date with Derek White, Justin Bobby's BFF. [Star]
• Paris Hilton has ordered a $4,500 miniature pig from a breeder. She will be delivered in about a month and named "Princess Pigelette." [TMZ]
• Marlon Jackson addressed the Australian TV blackface controversy on behalf of his family, saying, "Man, if they turned up looking like that in the United States ... They probably weren't trying to be offensive or anything of that nature with the family. We thank Harry Connick Jr. for speaking out, but we also understand that they weren't trying to be disrespectful to us." [News.com.au]
• Robin Givens, who was abused by Mike Tyson, says she can relate to what Rihanna's going through now. "You do need time to figure your life out," she says. "I do feel that if she speaks out about it people will listen to her. But she is young and I can imagine the pain and the confusion she is going through." [People]
• On an episode of Oprah that airs Monday, Mike Tyson says he's still unclear on the details about the death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus in May, "Because if I know, then there might be a blame for it... And if there's somebody to blame for it, there will be a problem." She was found by her 7-year-old brother tangled in a cord dangling from a treadmill. [People]
• Cherry Jones and her longtime girlfriend Sarah Paulson have split up. Jones said she and Paulson are "great. It's the happiest break up that's ever been. We grew so much together and now we can send each other off with a kiss and great love." [Us]
• Daniel Radcliffe has been cast in a reading of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying in New York. [Variety]
• Check out Hilary Swank on the cover of Town & Country: [ONTD]
• Sean Connery's doctors told him to give up alcohol after diagnosing him with a heart condition but he says, "I do drink red wine because of my friend David Murray, who owns two French wine estates. He showed me the evidence that it was good for the health. I favour Merlots from Chile for their value and I keep a good deal of California wine in my cellar. I have one that cost me $2,000 for two cases, which I think is rather steep." [Daily Express]
• Eight TV variety specials Ann-Margret did decades ago are being edited into a new one-hour documentary. [The Village Voice]
• In her new book Finding It, Valerie Bertinelli says that she used to be a binge eater but she's learned to satisfy herself with hiking, spending time with her family and boyfriend, and exploring her new relationship with God. "I was still hungry - as hungry as I had ever been," Bertinelli writes. "It was a different kind of hunger, though: one that I couldn't satisfy with food, and had no desire to." [AP]
• Matt Damon wrote an article in Parade about the importance of ensuring children have clean water around the world. He says: "I co-founded Water.org, which focuses on water and sanitation. I was in Ethiopia earlier this year, and I watched children taking filthy water out of a hand-dug well and putting it in bottles to take to school. The water was so dirty, it looked like chocolate milk. I wanted to knock it out of their hands and say, "Don't drink that-it could kill you." The dilemma is that drinking nothing at all will kill them even faster. Parents in these impoverished areas lose children every year to diseases that could be completely prevented if they had access to clean water." [Parade]
• Vince Vaughn says he proposed to Kyla Weber earlier this year on a certain romantic day because, "Valentine's Day rolled around and I figured this is not a ship to be missed ... [It] worked out great because it would have been kind of weird to have talked about [getting engaged] and then skipped Valentine's Day as if who knows when this thing is coming." [People]
• Vaughn says of the character he plays in Couples Retreat not being tempted to cheat, "It was kind of nice to make a movie where it was like 'We made a commitment. We're in this 'cause we said we wanted to be, and we have people counting on us. You know what? We believe in this and it's worth it to us, and I love you.'" [CNN]
• Harmony Korine explains how he got the idea for his new film Trash Humpers: "I would walk my dog at night back behind the alleyways in the neighborhood where I live in Nashville. And sometimes I would see these trash bins propped up against garages or lying on the ground. These overhead lights would be shining on them, giving them a real dramatic effect. The trash bins began to resemble human forms to me - almost like a war zone where the trash bins had been molested and beaten up and stuff. Sometimes, the way they were propped, they looked very humpable. Then I remembered that in my neighborhood growing up, there were these elderly peeping toms who would stare into my neighbor's window. They lived in an old person's home down the road, and they would come out at night. And I just put these ideas together." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Terry Gilliam, who worked with Heath Ledger on The Brothers Grimm and the upcoming Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus says, "I loved working with Heath on Brothers Grimm, he was fantastic. He went through an interesting time after Brokeback Mountain because he was so inundated with the big time. I would ask him about certain roles and he would say yes, and then no, so I learnt not to put any pressure on him because everyone else was. I didn't actually ask him about this one, I waited until he asked me." [The Telegraph]
• Pete Yorn says he asked Scarlett Johansson to record a duets album even though he didn't know if she could sing. "I figured, you know, most actors are multitalented. They've got to be able to do a lot of things and they probably have some ability to sing," he said. [CBS News]

• Lindsay Lohan will host concerts coinciding with the Singapore Grand Prix this weekend because Nicole Scherzinger had to cancel. Linds says she's qualified because, "I studied NASCAR for almost a year for Herbie. It was very hot inside those cars..."

• She adds: "I like to drive. I like cars. I like fast cars." When asked about the rumors that she knows Nicholas Prugo, the man arrested for burglarizing her apartment, Lindsay said, "I don't really want to get into the details of that. That's for the detectives to do."[AP]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are feuding on the set of SATC 2 and refusing to speak to each other. "While the cast is all smiles on the outside, the level of dislike is unbelievable. No-one is having a good time on this shoot," says an insider. "The crew have taken to calling her ‘Carrie Sadshaw'. When she doesn't have to be ‘on' in her scenes, she looks so sad." [Ok]
• "I have great balance and co-ordination," says John Mayer. "Inventiveness. I am a very inventive lover - that's the secret to my success." [The Sun]
• Clive Owen says his new film about fatherhood, The Boys Are Back, is "A different kind of film... Parenting's a big part of my life, so it felt very natural to me." [Style.com]
• Last weekend David Hasselhoff's 17-year-old daughter Hayley called an ambulance because she believed he had alcohol poisoning. He patched thinkgs up by taking her to a lingerie launch party at a sex shop last night. [TMZ]
• In his tell-all memoir Behind the Bell Dustin Diamond claims his Saved By The Bell castmates smoked pot and hooked up. He claims Mark Paul Gosselaar used steroids and "suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month." Gosselaar dismissed the allegations, joking: "We weren't in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn't my crack dealer." [Us]
• MTV will probably air DJ AM's drug-intervention reality show Gone Too Far. A final decision hasn't been made but sources say the network has been talking to his family about airing the show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pamela Anderson owes creditors more that $1.2 million after failing to pay various contractors who remodeled her Malibu home last year. [Star]
• Khloe Kardashian met her fiance Lamar Odom on August 27th when she hosted a party at a bar for new Laker Ron Artest and he picked up the $3,000 tab for unknown reasons. [TMZ]
• Today Kirsten Dunst testified against a man charged with stealing her $2,000 Balenciaga bag and $2,000 from a New York City hotel suite while she was on a movie set in August 2007. [AP]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Randy Quaid and his wife Evi. They have been under investigation for the past week for allegedly stiffing the San Ysidro ranch hotel after running up a $10,000 bill. [Radar Online]
• They are expected to be charged with three felony counts each: Defrauding an innkeeper, conspiracy, and burglary. Bail will be set at $20,000. Sources say they also owe the Hotel Bel-Air $17,000 and stole a Hertz Rent-A-Car. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested this afternoon. Sources say there was a struggle and Evi had to be wrestled to the ground. [TMZ]
• In his upcoming memoir The Time of My Life, Patrick Swayze reveals that when he first read the script for Dirty Dancing he thought "It seemed fluffy - nothing more than a summer-camp movie." [AP]
• Ashlee Simpson says she's excited that Heather Locklear is guest starring on the new Melrose Place. "We're all really thrilled that Heather is coming back!" she said. "Of course we are - she was kind of the heart of the show. It's been great to have a lot of the original cast, and to have Heather join is really incredible. I'm excited!" [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen will play a "pretty angry but funny" Israeli tour guide on an episode of The Simpsons that will probably air in March. [News.com.au]
• Whitney Port said MTV is letting her work on her fashion line and have a fashion show on The City while they always made Lauren Conrad hide her real life on The Hills because, "They saw how passionate I was about designing my clothing line and I really told them, 'This is what I want to do - I don't want to work in public relations and what I want to do is design. So please allow me to do this and please show my reality.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• When Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder was asked if he's worried audiences are suffering from vampire fatigue he said, "Yes. Yes. Yes. But - there is a but - and I think that is that Twilight is a feature, a big franchise. True Blood is HBO. Vampire Diaries is prime-time network. They're all so different as far as their medium. When you're a young teen, you can't sit in a room with your mom and watch True Blood - it would be very uncomfortable for everyone involved. And Twilight you get once a year. This show is every week, and it's fun, it's smart, it's sexy, it's witty, and it's now - and those characteristics slip perfectly into this crazy sort of vampire jigsaw puzzle we all find ourselves looking at. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Is Variety editor Peter Bart trying to stir up a girl fight between Jane Campion and Kathryn Bigelow? The Women & Hollywood blogs asks if this is how he's describe two male directors: "Jane Campion, 55, made a quintessentially romantic picture in Bright Star, but in person she is cerebral, somewhat severe, leans toward post-hippie attire and seems perplexed by the rigors of the award circuit. Kathryn Bigelow, 57, is tall, model thin, a one-time art student whose gracious manner belies her proclivity for tense, even violent films – The Hurt Locker is her contender." [Women & Hollywood]
• Stephen Moyer says when he marries Anna Paquin his dog "Splash, my alpha, will be the ringbearer... My son [Billy, born in 2000] might be unhappy about that." [People]
• Gerard Butler says of his Ugly Truth co-star Katherine Heigl adopting, "She will be an amazing mom... She's incredibly responsible, smart and loving. This is a huge deal for her and she's going to take to it like a duck to water." [People]
• Last night Leonard Cohen performed in Israel for the first time in 30 years. Some Palestinian activists were calling for a boycott of the show. His manager said, "There are a lot of people who don't want us here, and anything done here invites controversy, but we believe freedom of speech is very, very important." [AP]
• Mary J. Blige, who has an adult daughter and two step-children says, "I don't think I'll do foster care or adopt, to be quite honest," at a New York event honoring her for her work with New Yorkers for Children. "I barely have time for my own children. To adopt more children and not have time for them, that [would be] poor parenting on my [part]." [People]
• Drew Barrymore says of her mother, "I believe she will see the film [Whip It]. I believe she does feel pride in me. I used to pull a lot emotionally from all the stuff with my family, but I did not do this movie to cleanse myself of the mother/daughter debacle that happened in my life. I have been much more objective about my childhood and my relationship with my mother in these last few years. I used to be more attached to all that. I won't deny that the baggage was there at one point." [Just Jared]
• "Some days I want nothing more than a brilliant mask so I could look like someone else and go wander the streets and be free," says Drew Barrymore. "I'm very peeved that Halloween only comes once a year." [CNN]
• Rich Sommer, who plays Harry Crane on Mad Men says of last week's episode [spoilers ahead], "When I got the script, I read that foot scene, and I thought it was kind of crazy, and I couldn't really see how it fit in. So I was surprised at how well the episode turned out. I was a little nervous about that scene. For the past few weeks, the writers and the editors have been saying, 'Oh my God, just wait until the lawnmower episode - it's unbelievable! It's unbelievable, it's a great episode,' and I was just like, "Oh, great! Good.' And then I saw it and I was like, "Wow! It is a really good episode." [N.Y. Magazine]

• This is not surprising: Nick Prugo, the 18-year-old accused of burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's house, was seen hanging out with Lindsay on the set of Labor Pains at least 10 times.

In other words: She knows him. She wasn't robbed by strangers. [TMZ]

• David Hasselhoff claims the reason he passed out Sunday afternoon was not because of booze, but because of an ear infection. Well, you know, medication for an ear infection, combined with a med that keeps alcoholics from drinking. That's why daughter Hayley found him unconscious. He says. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt is in talks to play nemesis Moriarty in a Sherlock Holmes sequel. [Reuters]
• Where were the 8 kids while Kate Gosselin was taping her new TV show? In the care of nannies. It was her weekend. Jon Gosselin was in the Hamptons. [MSNBC]
• A source on the set of Kate Gosselin's new TV show says "she was very shy" and "she was very low-key." The View-style program features Gosselin, Paula Deen, comedian Judy Gold, former Early Show coanchor Rene Syler and newsman Bob Woodruff's wife, Lee Woodruff, talking about issues relating to motherhood. [E!]
• According to this report, Kate Gosselin burst into tears when a picture of her kids was flashed on a screen and filming of her new show had to be halted. A source says: "She hates being away from her children, but now that she's to be divorced, she has to work to support them. She was very sad, emotional and very guarded." [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It film will include a new song, which Michael wrote for the tour. [Showbiz 411]
• The entire L.A. Lakers basketball team: Invited to Khloe Kardashian's wedding on Saturday. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER OF THE YEAR: Kevin Jonas will have two best men at his wedding: Brothers Nick and Joe. [People]
• Chloë Sevigny and Jason Segel: It's on. [E!]
• Whatever you do, don't strip down and shake your jiggly bits at Martha Stewart. She went to a performance of Hair and was so shocked by the nude scene, she said "I'm having a meltdown" at intermission, and didn't stay for the second half of the show. [Gatecrasher]
• Marc Anthony is so excited about becoming a part owner of the Miami Dolphins that he's purchased a waterfront condo in Miami. But don't worry: He and wife Jennifer Lopez aren't exactly moving there: "We are not selling our homes in New York or Los Angeles, we are just adding Miami." Recession, schmecession! [People]
• BREAKING: Russell Brand was spotted eating a banana at Fort Worth airport on Sunday. [Gatecrasher]
• Dakota Fanning's little sister, Elle Fanning, will make $125,000 for her role in upcoming movie Somewhere. Not sure why this is news, except that TMZ wanted to use the headline, "Dakota Fanning's Kid Sis Makes More Than You." [TMZ]
• A pharmacist at a Valley Village pharmacy refused to fill a drug order for Anna Nicole Smith five months before she died. Her psychiatrist was requesting two  sedatives, 300 tablets of methadone, a muscle relaxer, an anti-inflammatory drug and four bottles of a painkiller nicknamed "hospital heroin." The pharmacist later recalled thinking, The amount and combination alarmed the pharmacist, who later recalled thinking, "They are going to kill her with this." He called her doctor and said he would not fill the prescription, because it was "pharmaceutical suicide." [LA Times]
• Jesse Metcalfe will reprise his role on Desperate Housewives, if you give a crap. [UPI]
• Bijou Phillips plays the love interest of Chris Masterson in new flick Made For Each Other, which also stars her fiancé (and Chris' brother) Danny Masterson. Awkward? [Page Six]
• Chaz Bono has signed a six-figure deal for his memoir, which will detail his decision to transition from female to male. [TMZ]
• Rob Lowe's not that excited about St. Elmo's Fire being made into a TV show. He says: "Outsiders is the one they should be doing. The Outsiders was always my favorite, particularly now with the passing of Patrick Swayze." [E!]
• Julianna Margulies plays the wife of a politician busted in a sex scandal in The Good Wife, a CBS show premiering tonight. On the show, her character stands by her man. But Julianna says: "My reaction would have been to get the hell out of there. Until I put myself in her shoes - since I've been playing her - everything has changed. And since I've had my own child. It's not just about your feelings. The thing I love about her is that she's always balancing things. It's just survival." [USA Today]
• Lucinda Williams married boyfriend and manager Tom Overby on stage in front of 1,500 fans in a club in Minneapolis on Friday. "After saying their vows and sealing the deal with a kiss, the bride – dressed in knee high black boots and a short black satin dress – performed a song she had written for her groom." [People]
• The jury's been picked for the trial of two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from John Travolta following his son's death in the Bahamas. Travolta is on the list of witnesses that could be called to testify. [NY Daily News]
• Nadya "Octomom" Suleman does yoga in front of the cameras camped out near her house. [NY Daily News]
• Filmmakers were following Susan Boyle as she sang "Wild Horses" for her US debut on America's Got Talent; the event is being turned into a documentary. [NY Post]
• Nathan Fillion is hot. Does anyone watch Castle? Interview with Captain Hammer, aka Captain Malcolm Reynolds, at the link. [PopWrap]
• "Dannii Minogue became dependent on Botox after she fell into a depression over her sister Kylie's cancer…" "My sister was sick, then my best friend died soon after - I felt I'd been hit by a wave. I couldn't deal with the stress. I couldn't deal with having to look at my face." [The Sun]
• Estelle Getty's Emmy is on eBay! The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences is trying to get it taken off; they'd rather have it back if individuals or heirs don't want it. [Variety]
• Jenna Jameson's lawyer claims she owes $72,312.36 from her divorce from porn kingpin Jay Grdina [TMZ]
• Creepy: In an interview with David Carradine a few months before he died, he said that he believed the the "ghost" of his wife Annie's dead husband visited him from the couple's bedroom closet. [NY Post]
• "We spent a chunk of time together, and became friends, but [the collaboration] never happened. I wrote a bunch of words and presented them to him, and he didn't want to go there. He didn't want to be provocative. And I said, ‘Well, why come to me?' I mean, that's like asking Quentin Tarantino to not put any violence in his films." — Madonna, on working with Michael Jackson years ago, to the Times Of London. [MSNBC]
• "John and I always thought of our own covers. This time, Sean said, 'I'm doing it,' and he did it. He's an artist too. I didn't want to be that overwhelming Yoko Ono trying to control the scene. I'm a control freak, in a way, especially with my artwork and music. This time, I had to get to another level, a spiritual level of understanding. It's out of love for my son. He's a good one; he has his own ideas." —Yoko Ono on the cover art of her new album, Between My Head and the Sky.
• "Writing about Python is self-serving and vain, I said, and there are bad things about it as well; but these PR people are agents of the devil and she would not be shaken off." — from an essay by Eric Idle. [Telegraph]
• "So many performers sacrifice their entire life for the stage - I mean, look at Michael Jackson. I'm not in his league, but I do know the cost of fame. I lost a piece of life, normalcy. It's easy to become an android in an artificial world of flashing lights and magazine covers. Being away from it all allowed me to refocus my creative energies. There was a girl I was in love with, I wanted to marry her… It didn't work out. I was devastated. Thank God I had my music as an outlet." — Maxwell. [NY Post]
• "My dog Vivian passed away last year. I went to do this spreading of her ashes at her favorite place on the beach. I was reading this Eugene O'Neill eulogy and I took out the bag of ashes and the wind came and all the ashes went in my face. I had, like, a mouthful of Vivian. I just stood there and went, ‘This is genius, actually. This is totally perfect and humorous.'" — Drew Barrymore. [MSNBC]

• One of Jessica Simpson's "friends" claims she's at her lowest point ever after losing her dog because, "Daisy was her baby... It's going to put her into a tailspin. It will put her into the worst place ever."

• Tabloid editors must be salivating over her losing her dog, as they usually claim that heartache makes Jess eat and never tire of critiquing her weight. [People]
• Amy Winehouse has launched her own record label, Lioness Records. According to a statement on her website, "Amy wanted to create a label where she could sign and work closely with a small roster of artists she really believed in. The first release on the new imprint will be "Introducing Dionne Bromfield", the debut album from thirteen year old Londoner Dionne Bromfield." [AmyWinehouse.com]
• Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom, who met over the summer and got engaged last week, will get married on Sunday, according to sources. [E!]
• Kate Gosselin taped her new talk show Mom Logic over the weekend. A source familiar with the taping says, "It went extremely well. Everyone there loved it. And Kate did great. There's no question that she was a hit." [Radar Online]
• At the Southern Women's Show in Charlotte, North Carolina, Kate Gosselin said, "I miss Jon, the Jon I used to know." She also confirmed that she's filming a talk show, saying, "I've been given the gift of gab, so why not use it?" [People]
• Paramedics were called and David Hasselhoff was taken to the hospital yesterday after his daughter Hayley called her mom and said he'd been drinking. Hasselhoff's reps say he was just taking Antivert for an ear infection, which mixed with Antabuse, a drug that prevents alcoholics from drinking, and made him feel ill. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff's lawyer says, "He lost his equilibrium and it left him dizzy. This was not an alcohol relapse. David was taken to Encino Hospital on Sunday and released within the hour. He's fine now and looking forward to doing his jury duty this week." [People]
• More This Is It concert/movie footage has been released — does Michael Jackson "wobble" during one of the dances in the video at the link?. [TMZ]
• Archway Amusements bought the Ferris wheel from Neverland Ranch when it was auctioned last year because they needed a new one, not because it belonged Michael Jackson."We ourselves really didn't advertise it," said Theresa Noerper, the company's co-owner. "When he died, it kind of blew up. There's no keeping secrets then." It's currently touring the Midwest. [AP]
• Harrison Ford wrote an article on The Huffington Post urging people to join Team Earth, which is "teaming up with the Prince's Rainforest Project to call for swift action and funding to reduce tropical deforestation — and create incentives for a new approach to environmentally friendly economic development." [Huffington Post]
• Mandy Moore wrote an article for The Huffington Post about her trip to Sudan as an ambassador for the child survival program Five & Alive. She says: "My experience in Sudan has convinced me that solutions do exist, and the people most in need are eager to be part of them. There are simple and cost-effective tools out there that can help people living in the poorest communities in the world, and my role is to talk about those solutions, encouraging support and involvement." [Huffington Post]
• Kara DioGuardi on adding Ellen DeGeneres as an American Idol judge: "I think it's a genius decision... I wish I had thought of it." [People]
• Tori Amos' holiday album Midwinter Graces will come out on November 10. [Billboard.com]
• Jay-Z joined Coldplay onstage at Wembley on Friday and gave Chris Martin a bear hug. An onlooker said: "It was a strange moment, Everyone went wild when Jay Z joined the boys on stage but seeing him grab Chris away from the piano and on to the floor was a bit weird to say the least." [Ok]
• Lady Gaga and Kings of Leon lead the nominations for the MTV Europe Music Awards with five each. [Reuters]
• In the video at the link, Mariska Hargitay says of the new season of Law and Order: =SVU, "A lot of making out this year... [our executive producer said,] this is the year. If we don't make out once per episode they're not even going to air it." [Entertainment Weekly]
• When asked about what she thought of the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart nude tape, Chandra Wilson said, "My whole maternal thing comes out and I just [want to] take care of my baby. That's it." [Access Hollywood]
• Yet another Dancing With the Stars contestant is injured. Mya Tweeted: "Went 2 the hospital late last night 2 get stitches . Deep cut from glass. Only caught 2hours of sleep but feel great. Must be adrenaline." She added later that it was just a cut on her finger and she'll be fine. [TMZ]
• John Krasinski says of his engagement to Emily Blunt, "She's a wonderful girl. Someone had to do it...it was a tough gig, but somebody had to do it... So many people are angry at me." [Us]
• Serena Williams has signed an endorsement deal with Tampax and will appear in print and TV ads with the company's Mother Nature character. [Brandweek]
• Alec Baldwin says he wants Paul McCartney to guest star on 30 Rock and, "We're working on it." His daughter Ireland says she'd rather see Robert Pattinson on the show. [People]
• Christina Aguilera says while growing up with her abusive father, "I witnessed a lot of unpleasant things - a lot of pushing and shoving and fighting and quarrelling. Growing up I did not feel safe. Feeling powerless is the worst feeling in the world. I turned to singing as an outlet. The pain at home is where my love for music came from." [Contact Music]
• Dave Matthews says he agrees with President Carter that a lot of the animosity toward President Obama is race related: "Of course it is! I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't think I noticed it when I lived here as a kid. But when I went back to South Africa, and then it's sort of thrust in your face, and then came back here — I just see it everywhere. There's a good population of people in this country that are terrified of the president only because he's black, even if they don't say it. And I think a lot of them, behind closed doors, do say it." [CNN]
• Jeff Foxworthy says, "I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that that was what I was going to be the rest of my life. If I pulled into a gas station, somebody would go, 'Hey! You might be a redneck!' But for the last three years if I'm in the grocery store, invariably, 10 people will walk past me and go, "I'm not smarter than a fifth grader." And I'd say, "Well I'm not either." [Time]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal says of filming Nanny McPhee and the Big Band, "It's funny because in the movie I have an English accent and sometimes I keep it going... Peter and I were saying that we are going home and we are going to say little English things and our friends are going to think we are super pretentious!" [Telegraph]
• True Blood's Ryan Kwanten was the last to realize his co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer were in a relationship. "I'm always the last to know. My ear is not very close to the ground," he said. "Stephen actually had to come up to me and tell me. He said, 'Ryan I know you're not really up with the gossip side of things. but before you hear from anyone else, we've been dating for the last 10 months.'" [People]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

Ok!
This mag can't really be called a tabloid anymore. They've been threatening to change, then everyone got fired and things are not the same. Instead of gossip, it's all fashion, makeup, diet tips, pictures and stuff like Dita Von Teese's fave cocktail and an interview with Padma Lakshmi about her jewelry line. Is it "Elle Weekly," as they described? Not exactly. But there's no juicy "news."
Grade: N/A (disqualified from game)

In Touch
"38 Best And Worst Beach Bodies." There are seven pages of celebs in swimsuits. Guess who the mag says "could use a little work"? Lindsay Lohan; Kate Hudson, whom they accuse of "flaunting her curves,"; Katherine Heigl, who "has cellulite" on her "lumpy butt"; and tennis champ Serena Williams [Fig. 1]. In a "Beach Body Showdown," Beyoncé beats Britney, because of her "star quality" thanks to her "chiseled abs." Moving on. In a poll of who should be the black James Bond, Will Smith won, but Diddy, Idris Elba and Jamie Foxx were all in the running. Diddy says, "I think James Bond should be sent on a mission to New York. He should meet me: black Bond." In other news, Jennifer Aniston is "torn between two men." She was seen flirting with Bradley Cooper — they have gone on a few dates and sent a few texts. "But there is one big problem," according to the mag: She's been back in touch with Brad Pitt. "Seeing Brad and talking to him opened up a whole can of worms for Jen, emotionally. She never really stopped loving him," says a source. Which Brad will she choose?!?! Lastly, "Katie's Baby Dream: Twins." Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are gonna try in vitro, and MAY have twins. "Katie wouldn't mind having two more kids with Tom, but she didn't have the easiest pregnancy with Suri, so she isn't looking forward to two more pregnancies," says a source. And she is "thrilled" and Tom is "over the moon" about their nonexistent kids. Obviously.
Grade: D- (red card for insulting language)

Life & Style
"Jen Betrayed By Her Best Friend." Courteney Cox and David Arquette have been on Jen's side since her divorce from Brad Pitt. But! May 3rd, the couple attended a dinner at a friend's house and Brad was there and they totally talked to him!!! Then they spoke to him again later that night, backstage at a Chris Cornell concert. "It's got to be hurtful," notes psychologist Jean Cirillo, who does not treat Jen. "She seems like a sensitive person and Courteney should know that." What's worse, Courteney is hard at work on Cougar Town — a TV series about older women dating younger men — and Jen wants to make a movie called Pumas, about the same topic. Why is Courteney trying to make Jen's life miserable??!?!?! Moving on: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are getting "EVEN CLOSER," and there is proof, as you'll see in this picture of them squeezed into a limo together — the caption reads, "the costars sat with their legs touching," but it was either that or amputation! [Fig. 2] Bruce Jenner has a new face, have you seen it [Fig. 3]? Fifteen year old Ali Lohan is "turning into Lindsay" but really is just wearing her hand-me-downs [Fig. 4]. Lastly, this week in Dr. Rey's Casebook, it's "Who Has The Best Belly In Hollywood?" Pamela Anderson, 41 and mother of two, would "look fab" with the 26-year-old abs of Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr. [Fig. 5]
Grade: D (red card for foul play)

Us
"Kate & The Bodyguard." A source says Kate from Jon & Kate Plus 8 and her bodyguard are sometimes "very physical, often touching each other." And! She was spotted "gently poking him, giving him little love pats, unlike slapping does with Jon." Meanwhile, TLC is struggling to retool the May 25th premiere of the show to "somehow reflect or acknowledge the current reality in an otherwise heavily produced 'reality' show." A source says of Jon: "He really hates her and is out to destroy her publicly." Someone saw him at a restaurant with Deanna Hummel, his purported mistress, and says, "He shouldn't have acted like that. He's a married man." Also, a source says when one of her kids was bleeding, Kate raised her arms and said, "can someone deal with this?" She didn't hug the child or call him by name, she acted "like he was a roach." Here is a fun before and after of Kate: [Fig. 6]. Also inside: Angelina is mad at Madonna. She's infuriated that her Madgesty is trying to adopt from Malawi because she thinks Madonna "is a blatant copycat" who is "coming from the wrong place." She thinks instead of caring about the child, Madonna is in it for the publicity. Lastly, this magazine has an ABSOLUTELY EPIC spread of how many times In Touch has had Brad and Angelina "fake news" on their "inventive" covers. Burn! [Fig. 7]
Grade: C (yellow card for unsporting behavior)

Star
"Inside Jon & Kate's Twisted Marriage!" Kate's brother and sister-in-law, Kevin and Jodi Kreider, talked to the mag because they think Kate is selling out the kids and they're worried about them. Jodi was on the show for 3 seasons and is "popular with fans." Apparently when Kate found out that Kevin and Jodi were getting compensated for appearing on the TV show, Kate freaked out and screamed, "No one is getting paid but us!" Anyway, Kevin told the mag that while they were filming the show, Jon and Kate would fight so much, the crew would have a hard time getting 15 minutes of usable footage out of an 8 hour shoot. Kevin says that Jon came over recently and said he believes Kate has been unfaithful — with the bodyguard, Steve. Jodi says Jon has wanted off the series for a while, but Kate wasn't about to let him off, with so much money at stake. So Kate offered Jon a contract — stating that he could have girlfriends — as long as he showed up for shoots. There's so much more... it goes on forever. But. Moving on: Sarah Michelle Gellar is 5 months pregnant and it's a girl. Kristen Stewart's boyfriend, Michael Angarano, visited her on the set of New Moon and asked her to marry him. She thinks she's too young to get hitched and wants to wait. She's 19; he's 21. Is Jennifer Love Hewitt knocked up with Jamie Kennedy's baby? She was spotted buying a pregnancy test at a CVS. And wearing flowy dresses. Blind item! "Which cable TV hunk had an affair with his on-screen wife? Now that production is back in schedule, will the couple, who both have significant others, pick up where they left off?" (Please don't let it be Jon Hamm!) Also inside: This mag says Rihanna thinks that the nude pictures of her were released by Chris Brown because he invited her to his birthday party and she didn't show up. Don't their problems run a little deeper than that? Next: "Shannen Doherty: Homewrecker!" She's dating the photographer who shot her Radar cover last summer, Kurt Iswarienko, and he filed for divorce from fashion designer Taryn Brand on Christmas Eve. Taryn's mom tells the mag, "Shannen broke up a marriage. That's all I'm going to say." Ashlee Simpson is pregnant again, according to multiple sources. This has the mag wondering if Jessica Simpson's belly is a baby "bump." [Fig. 8] Last, but not least: David Hasselhoff has a "deathwish." He went to the hospital SEVEN times last year for alcohol poisoning and a source says, "when the booze runs out, he moves on to cough syrup."
Grade: C+ (yellow card for blatant harassment)

Fig. 1

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• Brooke Shields is contradicting her own reps, who said she wasn't involved in the Kiefer Sutherland headbutting incident. Now she says she "was bumped into by Jack McCollough and Kiefer Sutherland became concerned."

• In a statement issued through her lawyer she added, "Kiefer has always been a gentleman in her company. Both Jack and Kiefer are friends of Ms. Shields and she regrets this unfortunate situation." [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep says he's "troubled by the untruthful and self-serving information circulating regarding Kiefer..." and is confident that the D.A. will throw out the assault charge against him. [TMZ]
• Kiefer Sutherland's rep added, "out of respect for this law enforcement process," Kiefer "will not be making any comment." [People]
• Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis, co-directors of Miss California USA, announced at a press conference that they have appointed the pageant's first runner up, Tami Farrell, the organization's "ambassador," negating Carrie Prejean's role as Miss California. Lewis explained, "If Miss California is unavailable, or if it would be unwise to put her in a specific appearance, we now have an ambassador to represent us." He added, "We've been hijacked at the moment; we've been unable to do the work at hand." [ABC News]
• Miss California USA officials also passed out a booklet at the press conference called, "Miss USA 2009 State Entry Contract: Sections violated by Carrie Prejean." In addition to Prejean's violations, it says the role of the new "Beauty of California Ambassador" is to take the reigns when the "Miss California USA or Miss California Teen USA titleholder is unavailable." [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett says she would have appreciated privacy during her 2.5 year battle with anal cancer, but the paparazzi have continued following her. "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope," she says. She's particularly mad about a December 2006 National Enquirer story called "Farrah Begs: 'Let Me Die." She says, "God, I would never say something like that. To think that people who did look up to me and felt positive because I was going through it too and yet I was strong … it just negated all that." [People]
• When Farrah Fawcett found out her cancer had returned in May 2007 she didn't tell her family and friends at first because she wanted to prove her theory that someone at UCLA was leaking her medical information to the tabloids. "I set it up with the doctor," said Farrah. "I said, 'OK, you know and I know.' . . . I knew that if it came out, it was coming from UCLA." The leaker, Lawanda Jackson, was paid $4,600 by the National Enquirer. She pleaded guilty in December to the charges, but died in March of cancer, before the sentencing. [The L.A. Times]
• 20-year-old Dania Marin has filed for a restraining order against Ryan O'Neal because she says he's been harassing her with lewd phone calls. "He asked me if I wanted to masturbate with him. Offered me a car back if I would engage with him," she claims. "He freaked me out. I filed the retraining order because I was afraid that he knew where I lived or would come to my house. He's old enough to be my grandfather." [The Daily Express]
• Michael Jackson's London concerts may not happen because the company that was putting together a series of concerts featuring Michael, Janet Jackson, and the rest of the family, have sent a cease and desist letter to the organizers of MJ's solo concerts. They say Jackson signed a contract saying he wouldn't make another concert deal for 18 months. [TMZ]
• In a new interview, Nadya Suleman says she "exaggerated" when she said recently that she was having half of her uterus removed so she couldn't have more kids. She says she's having a "myomectomy," a procedure to remove fibriods from her uterus. She says it will actually boost her fertility, but she doesn't plan on having any more. [Radar]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet say they will donate to a fund set up to pay the nursing home fees for Millvina Dean, the last living Titanic survivor. The British woman has been selling off Titanic memorabilia recently because she can't afford the fees for her nursing home, where she has lived for three years. [USA Today]
• David Hasselhoff's ex, Pamela Bach, has asked the judge in their divorce to order Hasselhoff to maintain life insurance, which would pay her support if David dies. Hasselhoff says that wasn't part of their divorce deal. [TMZ]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are trying to adopt a girl. "Harrison's begun the process of adopting Liam too," says a source. "He's been a father figure to the boy almost since day one." [Star]
• Though George Clooney says he'd be happy to take a lie detector test to prove that Rande Gerber is not guilty of sexual harassment, the two former waitresses suing Gerber have refused to take the test. [TMZ]
• When asked about his kissing scene with co-star Jennifer Aniston in The Baster, Jason Bateman said, "It felt ... It was a good scene, I'll say that. It was a good scene." [People]
• Matthew Reeve, Christopher Reeve's son, is running the New York City Marathon to raise money for his father's foundation, which helps people with spinal cord injuries. [AP]
• Kim Kardashian says her step-father, Bruce Jenner, "has gotten a lot of media criticism in the past for getting an ill-advised partial facelift and a nose job," 25 years ago. She wrote on her blog, "Unfortunately, the result wasn't what Bruce had hoped for ... Since he's turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift. The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result." [People]
• "I have acne scars. I'm self-conscious about that, so sometimes I wear too much makeup to cover them up. I got acne at the start of my career. It was a stressful time. I have insecurities like anyone." - Katy Perry. [Perez Hilton]
• Ginnifer Goodwin says, "I perpetuate rumors that I've dated people that I've never actually dated ... Dorothy Parker once said something along the lines of, ‘I don't care what's written about me so long as it isn't true.' It's safe making." [W]
• When reporters harassed Fergie about when she and husband Josh Duhamel are going to have kids, she said, "Now, it's all about the Black Eyed Peas ... We'll see. At the end of this run that we're doing right now, whatever feels natural and right. I always follow my gut. So, whatever it's going to tell me is going to be right." [People]
• Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28. [UPI]
• One week after his brother died of cancer at 37, David Cook has resumed his tour. Halfway through the song "Lie" he stopped and told the audience, "It's gonna be tough for me. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I sing a different song?" [E!]
• Morrissey has cancelled a concert in London due to an undisclosed illness. [The Mirror]
• George Hamilton says of his sexual relationship with his step-mother that began when he was 12, "It really didn't seem that strange to me. I think I'd developed enough sexual energy by then to find the whole thing… well, interesting. When I look back on it, I don't think my life was changed as a result. I certainly don't think it was abuse. If anything, I think it made sex less important. I'd lost my virginity quite early on, and this freed me up. I wasn't so preoccupied with sex anymore." [The Telegraph]
• When asked if she is concerned that she is popular in the rest of the world but not the U.S., Kylie Minogue said, "It doesn't frustrate me. It's frustrating being asked about it and the assumption that it's something really missing in my career and in my life. [Yahoo]
• For those of you fluent in U.K. gossip, Jordan and Peter Andre have split up after five years of marriage. [The Sun]
• Michael Emerson says of playing Ben Linus on Lost, "It's more physical than I ever dreamt. I mean, I thought I had reached an age where I wouldn't be doing combat anymore. I was going to be one of those old codgers. The heavy lifting I would be doing dramatically would be cigarette holders and martinis. Of course, none of that's worked out and now here I am rolling around in the jungle, fighting and shooting. I feel naked on the show if I'm not covered with bruises and dried blood." [The Huffington Post]
• Before he serves a yearlong prison sentence for possession of illegal firearms, T.I. blogged on the Huffington Post, "Through this painful process of going to court and being convicted, I realized that I had to make a change." He writes, "I hope that through my mistakes, young people can begin to learn, as I did, that we have to put our guns down and start to give our guns back. It pains me inside to hear about so many of our people dying because of gun violence." E!]
• In one of Eminem's new songs he raps about Mariah Carey, saying, "Mariah whatever happened to us? Why did we ever have to break-up? ... Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin whore." Nick Cannon has responded, posting on his blog, "Man to man, let's meet up and deal with this like adults ... Miss Marshall, I'm going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife." Cannon continues, "Your legacy has now been tainted from this day forth! You will now be known as the rapper who lost to corny-ass Nick Cannon!" [People]

• Lindsay Lohan: Protective of lady love Samantha Ronson. A source says "Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at [NYC hotspot Beatrice Inn], and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend.'" [Page Six]
  
• And don't forget! Even though LL was in AA, she downed vodka cocktails all night. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Here's how Lindsay looked on her way home: Drunk. [ONTD]
  
• Ali Lohan will make her screen debut in Mostly Ghostly, a flick based on an R.L. Stine book. She'll play a "popular high school senior." A mean girl maybe? [People]
  
• Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson celebrated her 18th birthday by flashing her see-through underwear to paparazzi. [Page Six]

• Whitney Houston attended a boxing match in Las Vegas Saturday night and was "practically carried in by her staff." Plus, her people "snapped their fingers, saying 'Whitney needs a waitress!'" Once a diva, always a diva. [Page Six]
• Heiress/model Lydia Hearst: Joining the cast of Gossip Girl? OMFG. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist, who should know better, has been blabbing in L.A. that a particular designer has tumbled off the wagon - again?" [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a double date with Nicole Richie and Joel Madden last week. Tattoos, flat-ironed hair and skinny jeans unite! [E!]
• Suri Cruise turned 2 on April 18 and her party was low-key: Coloring, cake, bowling. [MSNBC]
• Connor Cruise, the Tom and Nicole kid you never hear about, will make his film debut in an upcoming Will Smith movie. Connor will play a young version of Will and allegedly had to audition, even though Tom and Will are buddies. Well, he got the part, praise Xenu. [People]
• Dave Chappelle's former manager is suing him for 10% of the cash Dave's made since he fired the guy in 2005. Mo money, mo problems. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was in the hospital over the weekend because stitches above his eye opened up and he was bleeding. America's got sutures. [TMZ]
• Jordin Sparks had "acute vocal cord hemorrhage" this weekend, igniting rumors that she'd never sing again. Even though she's canceled a bunch of tour dates, she should be back on the road in May. [TMZ]
• Gail O'Grady of NYPD Blue owes Caesars Palace $160,000 and Bally's $75,000 in gambling debts. What happens in Vegas stays on your credit report. [TMZ]
• Kanye West's former fiancée is "sad" about their broken engagement, but Alexis Phifer says, "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met." [People]
• Ewan McGregor had a skin cancer scare and had some moles removed. "I went to have them checked because you have to be careful if you are pale skinned with moles and you spend time in the sun." [Mirror]
• In attendance at Victoria Beckham's birthday party Saturday night: Kate Beckinsale, Eva Longoria, Gwen Stefani, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Diddy, Will Smith, Gavin Rossdale, Usher and Elton John. [The Sun]
• Terrence "baby wipes" Howard hosted a listening session for his debut album yesterday. Yeah, he sings. He began writing songs at age 16 in his "rainbow colored notebook." The album has a jazzy, big band feel but no word if there are any songs about the "serious problem" of women being unclean. [People]
• Platinum country music artist Taylor Swift went to her senior prom Saturday night. Her date was chosen from 50 applicants via MTV but Taylor says "He was unbelievably sweet." [People]
• Supermodel and ex-wife of Mick Jagger Jerry Hall is revealing that growing up, her father was violent, physically and verbally abusive. [Mirror]
• Antonia Kidman, sister of Nicole, won the Favorite Female Personality prize at an Australian TV awards show. She hosts a program called From Here To Maternity. [News.com.au]
• Thirteen year old Lourdes Ciccone Leon wants to live in New York with daddy Carlos. Haha. Will Madonna's seamy New York past live again, through her daughter? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Meanwhile, Madonna's new single went to No. 1 on both sides of the Atlantic and the headline of this story is: "Madonna: More Clout Than The Beatles, All By Herself... And Wearing Heels." [Times]
• David Blaine is in training to break the world record for breath-holding. BTW, he's not just a magician, he's an "endurance artist." So. [NY Times]
• Did Heather Mills lie about having a sad childhood? [The Sun]
• A Wendy Williams talk show? Sounds crazy, in a good way. [Variety]
• "I'm late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn't work with me." — Erykah Badu. [Perez Hilton]

• Lovers' spat! At a Barack Obama party, the DJ started playing "Crazy In Love" and Jay-Z grabbed the mic and said, "Sorry Bey but fuck that — let's play something else." B was pissed! Later the couple kissed and made up, though. [Mirror]
  
• This should not come as a surprise and hardly qualifies as news, but Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills want their own show. They've been in NYC pitching it to execs; it would be about them (gag) planning their wedding. Listen, if we all concentrate, maybe we can prevent this from happening: Every time Spencer gets what he wants, an angel loses its wings. [Page Six]
  
• Amy Winehouse has taken up painting watercolors. I want to hang one in my apartment so badly. [Mirror]

• Rob Lowe's former castmembers have got his back! West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin says Rob is a "gentleman who cares first and most for his family." Actor Dulé Hill agrees: "I've known him strictly as a family man." As for the nanny allegations? "It doesn't seem like the Rob I know. It doesn't add up," says Hill. [People]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban were seen in the stands at a hockey game in Nashville. Doesn't that just seem odd? [ET]
• Oh, Nicole Kidman wants her kids out of the Church of Scientology. Good luck with that. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan will be coming to New York tomorrow to see "pal" DJ Samantha Ronson spin, and not to visit her ailing grandparents. Cold! Oh, they've reportedly "never been kind to her." [Page Six]
• Lindsay's dad Michael is not happy that his daughter's rep says she won't be doing missionary work in India. "I think we can all see that her present so-called friends and management have her focused on the wrong projects and things. If Lindsay would just listen to me and follow my guidance, like she did when her life was on the right path, and before the people you see now that are in her life, I guarantee that her life would straighten out and she'd be back to being the gifted actress everyone knew and loved." [Gatecrasher]
• This may shock you, but 30 Rock's Judah Friedlander, known for wearing trucker hats with wacky sayings on them, makes the hats himself. "They are intricate, I sew things on too," he says. "I have over 100 of them and come up with the sayings myself. Fans e-mail me suggestions all the time. So far, I've used one." [Page Six]
• Posh and Becks are having a joint birthday party this weekend and hired a company to get swag from high-end brands for the gift bags. The guest list is fairly exclusive: Only 25 people were invited. Did your invitation get lost in the mail? [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson's birthday is Saturday and some lady got her a "weird" cake in the shape of a "woman/snake/lizard kneeling," with Kate's head on it. Kate did not eat it and it was found in the garbage later, LOL. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Aniston will be the "surprise" guest on the season finale of Oprah's Big Give, pass it on. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which actress on a canceled show was "doing her body weight" in cocaine at a beachy magazine shoot over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which recently rehabbed rocker got clean through a week-long induced coma? He couldn't bear to sweat out the booze on his own." [Rush & Molloy]
• A court-appointed lawyer, a co-conservator and two other attorneys in the Britney Spears conservator case all have bills — and the commissioner says Brit must pay. Ouch. [TMZ]
• No, seriously: It's $400,000 in legal fees. [People]
• Foxy Brown gets out of prison today! The Department of Corrections says fan or press gatherings will not be allowed, so cancel your trip to Rikers Island. [TMZ]
• This is a headline from People.com: "Jessica Alba in Frantic Nesting Mode." Try to care. [People]
• Cute cutie Bradley Cooper (he was in Wedding Crashers, Alias and the short-lived show Kitchen Confidential) has a new love: Actress Rhona Mitra, who's been on Nip/Tuck and Boston Legal. Foxy couple. [E!]
• Baywatch better stay in reruns forever: David Hasslehoff has agreed to pay $25,000 a month to support his ex-wife and children. [AP]
• Here's a great headline: "Doherty's Pals Flog His Gear." Apparently Pete's friends have been selling some of his stuff for cash — like the "horrible" paintings he did using his own blood — while he's in jail. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Pete is in an isolated area of the prison because fellow inmates were planning an attack on him. [Mirror]
• Madonna is in negotiations to play two gigs in Dubai for a whopping £12.5 million. If each show is 90 minutes it comes out to something like $167,000 a minute, for the love of Christmas. [The Sun]
• Hahaha, Gwyneth has stopped working out with Madge because her "grueling" two-and-half-hour workouts are too much for Ms. Paltrow. Madonna is so fucking hardcore. [Mirror]
• Ashanti's new video portrays her wielding a knife and getting revenge on a cheating ex, but she swears it's not about boyfriend Nelly, whom she does not even admit is her boyfriend but her really really good friend. [People]
• RIP, Danny Federici from the E Street band. [USA Today]
• Dita Von Teese is suing a dude who built her a 10-foot high swan with a fountainhead in the beak for her act. The fountain malfunctioned during the debut of her show in Toronto and that will just not do. [TMZ]
• "I never go suntanning. My worst fear is looking down and seeing brown, wrinkly cleavage. It'll get white and wrinkly, but no need to rush it." —Dita Von Teese. [Rush & Molloy]

• Remember how sources said Ashlee was knocked up and then Pete Wentz said she wasn't ? Now sources say Ashlee Simpson is pregnant and will get married next month at a private residence in Southern California. [People]
  
• Jessica Simpson is reportedly jealous of little sis Ashlee, since she's always wanted a baby and even joked she'd resort to making her hairstylist Ken Paves the daddy. Oy. [MSNBC]
  
• Cameron Diaz's father died suddenly yesterday; the cause was pneumonia. [TMZ]
  
• Um, prepare yourself: Rob Lowe's nanny says he repeatedly exposed his "flaccid penis" and his "erect penis" to her, repeatedly asked her "to touch his penis," repeatedly masturbated in front of her, showed her pornographic images on his computer, asked her to give him a massage and tell him dirty stories. Shudder. [TMZ]
  
• So yeah, the nanny is countersuing Lowe for sexual harassment. She is seeking $50,000 in general damages as well as punitive damages and unpaid wages. [Reuters]

• Lily Allen was taken off the judging panel of the Orange Prize — awarded to female writers who have authored books of fiction — because "life got in the way" and she missed a bunch of meetings. A week after joining the panel, she announced she was pregnant. Later she miscarried and split from her boyfriend. The girl's got no time to read. [Telegraph]
• Uh-oh! Amy Winehouse's record label is warning her that she can only release a new CD if she is clean and sober. Crap. Think she can do it? [The Sun]
• John Mayer and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger: Doing the do? [Page Six]
• David Hasselhoff uses his assistant and an autographed photo of himself to try and pick up chicks. It doesn't work. [Gatecrasher]
• Some crew members feared for Heath Ledger's mental health while he was filming The Dark Knight: He reportedly refused to talk to anyone out of character and found it hard to "snap out" of the personality of The Joker, who he described as a "psychotic, mass-murdering clown." [News.com.au]
• Oh, dear. Pete Doherty is doing heroin while in jail. [The Sun]
• Michael Lohan says daughter Lindsay wants to do missionary work in India; Lindsay's rep says um, no. [Gatecrasher]
• Paris Hilton was paid £70,000 for 50 minutes of work: Showing up at a London nightclub. The world has gone mad. Mad, I tell you! [Mirror]
• Meanwhile, Paris's parents adore her boyfriend Benji Madden. Kathy Hilton says, "I have a funny feeling it's going to go all the way." Rick Hilton says, "We love him like family already." [People]
• Jennie Garth has "abruptly" left a CBS comedy pilot — does that mean she's headed to the 90210 spinoff instead? [Reuters]
• TMI blind item! "Which inexplicable media star (blame www.Gawker.com for that) likes to boast that she let a certain handsome men's magazine editor, who is also much in the gossip columns, get to third base during a dinner at Balthazar?" [Gatecrasher]
• Camilla Parker Bowles (now Duchess of Cornwall), Celine Dion and Madonna share an ancestor! They all descend from a French carpenter. See? Madonna was destined to have a Continental accent. [The Star]
• Deborah Gibson has a stalker who is originally from Spain but left his wife to follow Debbie around the country. Deb's filed a restraining order against the dude and is singing "No, no, no, no, only in your dreams! As real as it may seem — It's only in your dreams." [TMZ]
• Former MTV VJ LaLa Vazquez says she is supporting fiancé Carmelo Anthony in the wake of his DUI arrest. Yawn. [People]
• Despite her album not doing well in the US, Kylie Minogue is splurging on a £3 million mansion in the British countryside. Get it girl! [News.com.au]
• Actor Jason Beghe, an ex-Scientologist says, "Scientology is destructive and a rip-off. It's very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution." Tom Cruise? Stunted? Never. [Page Six]
• Magician Criss Angel threw a hissy fit over the weekend when his girlfriend, Miss Nevada, didn't win Miss USA. He's also probably upset that no one cares. [Page Six]
• Foxy Brown is scheduled to be released from prison this week! The rapper has been behind bars for the last eight months due to probation violations. She's got a VH1 reality show already in the works, naturally. [UPI]
• Martha Stewart's beloved dog, a Chow named PawPaw, has died. [The.Life Files]
• "I'm just trudging along, you know. I wash every day, I've got my own teeth, and I don't dye my hair. I must be doing something right, as I've only canceled two shows in 30 years: once when the doctor said I would have a miscarriage, and once when he told me my eardrums would explode if I did the gig." Chrissie Hynde, 56. [Page Six]

• Britney Spears is supposedly nonplussed about Kevin Federline getting custody of the kids. According to OK!, when the subject of her boys' custody came up, a friend told Britney, "Don't worry, you'll get your kids back." Britney replied: "I don't give a s— anymore. I never wanted them in the first place." She allegedly partied until 3 a.m. the night before she had a 10 a.m. visitation, which she missed. And what's with all the hotels? Is it because it's easier to meet her drug dealer? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Britney's lawyer says she's been passing random drug tests, though. [People]
  
• Meanwhile, the judge in Britney's hit-and-run case has ordered her to be booked: fingerprinted and photographed before October 25. [Yahoo News]

• Oh, and Britney's father thinks she needs an intervention. [The Sun]
  
• Lou Pearlman, the man who created *NSync and the Backstreet Boys, is denying the allegations in the Vanity Fair story that painted him as a pervy pedophile. The incident in which he was wrestling boys and his towel fell off? "I've never owned a towel that could wrap all the way around me anyway," he says. Ugh. [Page Six]
  
• Steve Carrell's daughter Elisabeth is only 6, but the funnyman is already thinking about dudes who'll want to date her. "A dealbreaker, straight out of the gate, is a guy who pulls to the front of the house and honks," he says. [Page Six]
  
• Usher's not releasing his new CD because his new (pregnant) wife doesn't want him to right now? This is what happens when your mom is your manager and then you marry an older woman. [Page Six]
  
• David and Victoria Beckham sued two photographers for trying to take pictures of their pool, but a French court acquitted the paparazzi. [Page Six]
  
• Lindsay Lohan on rehab: "It was hard surrendering and having people tell me what to do." She's been bonding with her dad and his "Lindsay-look-alike" girlfriend, Erin. Also, Lindsay's new man is Riley Giles, a snowboarder from California. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Blind item! "What TV funny guy and his wife are unpopular for being mean to the deliverymen who bring the endless train of swag and luxury goods to their apartment?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
  
• Kiefer Sutherland: sentenced to 48 days in custody for his DUI. Ouch! [TMZ]
  
• The hospital where George Clooney was treated after his motorcycle accident has suspended doctors and employees for leaking information to the press. [TMZ]
  
• Clooney says, "I would hope that this could be settled without suspending medical workers." [People]
  
• David Hasselhoff relapsed and was hospitalized, in case you care. [TMZ]
  
• The Black Eyed Peas stopped a concert in El Salvador in the middle of the show — Fergie said she had food poisoning. Yeah, you don't want to be on stage with that. [Sydney Morning Herald]