Yesterday during the LA Galaxy's match with FC Dallas, David Beckham suffered a minor cut on his finger, and blood splattered onto his shorts. Officials made him change on the sidelines. Monday just got a whole lot better!

• Here's Russian model Natasha Poly, rocking brown hair and bright eyeshadow on the November cover of Vogue Paris. [@VogueParisLive]
• Victoria Beckham Tweeted a super-close-up picture of her husband looking hunky and wearing a pair of her new sunglasses. [@victoriabeckham]

• Kim Kardashian, who regrets posing nude for Playboy, is nekkid on the cover of W.

• Cindy Crawford pulls Tyra's patented couture pose on the cover of Vogue India's "Icons" issue. Cindy last popped up on the July cover of Elle Germany and made the front of April's L'Officiel. [Design Scene]

• George Clooney is in Sudan — along with an NBC news team and Ann Curry — trying to raise awareness about the upcoming election in January.

• While performing for sailors aboard the U.S.S. Harry S. Truman in the Persian Gulf last week, Jessica Simpson didn't handle the 97 degree heat well. After downing three Red Bulls with no water, she sang one song, then vomited.

• During a Sirius Radio interview, CNN's Rick Sanchez called Jon Stewart a "bigot", implied the media is controlled by Jews, and said network bosses passed him over for a promotion because he's Cuban-American. CNN responded by firing him.

• Wow: Dita Von Teese will guest star on CSI.

• Despite Judge Elden Fox's ruling yesterday that Lindsay Lohan would remain in jail until her trial on October 22, the actress has been released after posting $300,000 bail. [TMZ]

• David Beckham denies prostitute Irma Nici's claim that they had sex, and is threatening to sue In Touch. However, another woman says she knows the story is true because she had a threesome with Nici and Becks.

• David Beckham is planning on suing In Touch magazine for publishing a story about him having a threesome with a prostitute.

• In a newly uncovered letter Mel Gibson sent Oksana Grigorieva before their January blowup, he worries that his anger is so out of control he, "could drink or commit a crime," adding, "Maybe it's some kind of male menopause."

Every Wednesday, we play Midweek Madness, the game in which Margaret and I read the weekly tabloids so you don't "have" to. This week David Beckham allegedly paid a "Bosnian bombshell" $10,000 for sex; she snipes, "I wasn't impressed."

• Unsolicited Uterus Update! Penelope Cruz is filming the new Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, and this paper claims that she seems to have "a bump beneath her rigging."

There isn't any dialogue between David and Victoria Beckham in the commercial for Intimately Yours fragrances, so naturally we had to write some ourselves.

• Kat Von D did a radio interview in which she attempted to justify, rationalize and explain dating Jesse James.

[Carson, August 11: David Beckham's smooth quads return to practice for the LA Galaxy. Image via Splash.]

• Before testifying at Charles Taylor's trial, Naomi Campbell has demanded accommodations normally extended to victims of atrocities. She wants the media to not film or photograph her, and she wants a lawyer to speak for her on the stand.

• Alicia Keys married producer Swizz Beatz yesterday in Corsica; guests included Bono and Queen Latifah. [ContactMusic]

• Well, this should be interesting: Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, has resigned. [Mirror]