[Auckland, New Zealand; December 3. Image via Getty]

[New York, November 29. Image via INF]

Manhattan, November 26. Image via Filmmagic.

• Kabbalah enthusiasts Madonna and Alex Rodriguez took their scandalous romance public Wednesday night in Miami, mere days after Madge's divorce from Guy Ritchie was finalized. A-Rod handed Madge a bottle of water as she finished her second song during a sold-out show at Dolphin Stadium. E! is referring to the couple as "Madrod", but surely there has to be a better name for the unlikely pair. A-Mad? Rodge? Madariguez? [E! via Yahoo News]
• Truly sad news (if true): sources say Patrick Swayze is saying goodbye to his friends and family as his cancer has spread to his liver. However, this news originated from the National Enquirer so remember the grain of salt. [Daily Telegraph]
• Are Sienna Miller and the still-married Balthazar Getty back on the public canoodle train? After a scandalous relationship and a public break-up, the two were spotted dining out in London and were seen at the same nightclub later on that day. [Mirror]

• George Clooney ex Sarah Larson says that dating the uber sexy mega star was stressful. " It was a little nerve-wracking because you know, everybody loves George, and so, to be in the public eye like that, it was a little bit stressful," Larson explains. "It's a lot to take in. I think I just went like a deer in the headlights." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Katy Perry says she won't pose for Playboy because “I don’t want to go all Kardashian." We've seen Kim Kardashian, and you, Katy, are no Kim Kardashian. [Mirror]
• Michael Phelps brought his Vegas cocktail waitress girlfriend home for Thanksgiving. They've been together for about two months. [People]
• Lynne Spears is defending Britney's mothering abilities to the haters. "Oh she's a wonderful mother – she's funny, she's extremely affectionate," Lynne says. [People]
• "You have to think about what they want, what makes them happy, what makes them feel comfortable. The most important thing is to be grown-up about it and not let any kind of feelings affect how you deal with your children. We raised our kids just to be happy." — Reese Witherspoon on raising kids after a divorce. [Mirror]
• Speaking of split ups, Amy Winehouse met with divorce lawyers yesterday to discuss divorcing her crap husband Blake Fielder-Civil. That's the first good decision she's made in years. [The Sun]
• Posh and Becks spent Thanksgiving in New York with the TomKat clan. Apparently there had been rumors of a rift between the megacouples because the Beckhams didn't want to become Scientologists. The bonds of outrageous sums of money must be stronger than those of religious affiliation. [Daily Mail]

• Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order protecting herself from a man she believes is endangering her family. She claims Steven Burky has been "stalking and harassing" her, sending "packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country." The guy showed up at her house and said, "God has sent me a vision of you being persecuted in some manner that may result in your death." Burky has a blog called Satanic Panic, on which he wrote: "Are multitudes of adults resorting to human sacrifices and then repressing this information from fear of Christ..." [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan "sobbed in the street" after her fight with Samantha Ronson, and this report claims it was physical, with Sam "throwing punches" on the dancefloor when she saw LL dancing with her ex Calum Best. [The Sun]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached an agreement regarding their divorce! Guy is refusing to take a single penny, and they'll share custody of the kids, except Lourdes, who will stay with her mom. [This Is London, Times of London]

• Everyone loves picking out clothes for the new First Lady! The Michelle Obama Style Guide will come out in the Spring; former Mademoiselle and Shop Etc. editor Mandi Norwood is writing it. Norwood says: "Not since Jackie O have we had a first lady become a fashion icon. Michelle Obama will be one of history's most vibrant first ladies; she has a distinctive style that every American woman can aspire to, whether the consumer is a Target shopper or some one more likely to be found on Miracle Mile." [Page Six]
• How does Angelina Jolie feel when people refer to her and Brad Pitt as "Brangelina"? "Honestly, I don't have a thought either way," she says. "Although on the set of Changeling, Clint Eastwood was calling us 'Clintelina'. I think that sounds funnier." Oh, and Angelina hasn't seen Brad's new movie, Benjamin Button yet. But she says, "Brad looks good ageing backwards. And no, I've not been on the set of Inglourious Basterds. This is a Tarantino film, so we're thinking, 'What's a good day to bring children on set?'" [Telegraph]
• Winona Ryder had her stomach pumped at a hospital in London after a suspected accidental overdose on a British Airways flight. She has a fear of flying and may have taken too many Xanax pills — this report claims she "collapsed twice" in first class. (How do you collapse when you're in a first class seat on a plane?) In any case, she's been discharged from the hospital. [The Sun, Mirror, Telegraph]
• Rosie O'Donnell says Barbara Walters wanted everyone on The View to act like they got along: "I'm not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is, there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera." Rosie also says her new show will not be like The View: "The job description here is to entertain. It will be an hour of fun, laughter, singing and dancing. No politics. No arguing. No talking about controversial things. That, to me, is what is needed now." [LA Times]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman showed up arm-in-arm to the GQ Men of the Year party, and held hands at the event and were spotted kissing, so it's looking like it's on. [Yahoo News]
• Kelly Osbourne: Engaged! Boyfriend Luke Worrell asked Ozzy Osbourne for permission to propose, awww. And brave! [The Sun]
• Brooke Shields says the world has got to save Lipstick Jungle. "NBC is now flooded with lipstick. Women are in uproar over this…they’ve tried to kill us before and we have refused to die." And writer Ilene Rosenzweig says: "There are no other female-driven dramas on television, and if this one goes, it will have been the last. But women are so sick of reality TV and want to have a place where they can turn for escapism and frivolity, but also to confront the real struggles that powerful women face in the workplace and at home." [Daily Beast]
• It's official: Britney Spears did write a song for Adnan Ghalib, called "Mmm Papi," and the lyrics are: "You love it when I'm freaking out / Things get rough and there's no doubt / You will always be there for me." [Perez Hilton]
• Okay, she didn't write the song for Adnan. It's just a song. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson could be forced to fly to the High Court in London to testify in a case being brought against him by the King of Bahrain's son. [Telegraph]
• Oh, wait: Michael Jackson is intending to go to court, his lawyers claim. [Yahoo News]
• Jennifer Aniston watches Friends, and says "there are times when I laugh my rear end off." Nothing more amusing than watching yourself be amusing, huh? [MSNBC]
• Why Forbes has an annual list of "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" is a question to ponder, but know this: Suri Cruise is number one. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is in second place after coming in first last year; Zahara Jolie-Pitt, 3, is in third place; and Pax Jolie-Pitt, 4, is fourth on the list. [Breitbart]
• Another Forbes list: Hollywood's Top-Earning Couples. "Jay-Z and his new bride, Beyoncé Knowles, collectively raked in $162 million between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008." [Forbes]
• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have broken up, you guys, but no one cheated on anyone: Vanessa Fontana from that BFF show says "Paris and Benji were loyal and faithful to each other. I love Paris, and I just want her to be happy. I think that they'll be better as friends." [Yahoo News via E!]
• And yes, Paris was "all over" her ex, Stavros Niarchos, earlier this week. A source spills: "Benji didn't like it that she spent the evening with Stavros. He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that. She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in." [Star Magazine]
• A different person says Paris and Stavros were just having a friendly conversation. "In no way are they romantic, nor do they want to get back together," the source says. [People]
• Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 says the plane crash has him speaking to Travis Barker again, after the band's messy split in 2005. "We're just reconnecting as friends after four years of not talking," he says. "It's a good thing." [Reuters]
• Additional info about the crash that injured Travis Barker here. The pilot of the jet warned air traffic controllers that his plane was "going off the end" before it crashed, killing him and 3 others. The cockpit recordings have been released. [CBS News]
• You'll enjoy this: NeNe has written "5 Ways Real Housewives Of Atlanta has Changed My Life." She says: "I’m not surprised that Anderson Cooper is talking about me! Wouldn’t you talk about me? I’m not surprised. Anderson Cooper is gorgeous. He is THE silver fox, and I just wish he’d come over on this side of the street. And come over here and talk to me!" [People]
• Fifty-eight year old Bill Murray was spotted having a fancy dinner in Chicago with 27-year-old Miss USA, Crystle Stewart. Nothing lost in translation there! [Perez Hilton]
• Kevin Spacey is in a new flick called Men Who Stare At Goats. He plays a "psychic guru." George Clooney is in the film, too and, presumably, some goats. [io9]
• Noted author Pamela Anderson has written an open letter to Barack Obama. She has suggestions! Free Leonard Peltier, castrate sex offenders, legalize marijuana, promote vegetarianism, stop animal testing, and bring the troops home safely! Now where's her cabinet position? [Perez Hilton]
• Film students! James Franco wants to be in your movie. "I haven’t acted in any student films yet," he says. "You would think that more people would ask me to be in their movies, but they haven’t." Franco is studying directing at NYU. Please, guys. Cast him. [NY Mag]
• Oh! James Franco's next role after Milk will be gay poet Allen Ginsberg in the movie Howl. Back-to-back gay roles "don't make any difference to me," Franco says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Julia Stiles was in a play that required her to utter these words about her "first time in bed with a black man": "He came over to borrow a highlighter. Next thing I knew, my panties were off and I was sitting on his face." [NY Mag]
• People are bidding £1 million for the house where David Beckham lived as a baby. Similar houses in the area were sold for £250,000. WTF. [Yahoo News]
• Whoopi Goldberg shows Liz Smith her tattoos: She has two dragons and a little Woodstock. [WowoWow]
• Tom Jones sang on the sidewalk in London to raise money for a cancer charity. He belted out "It's Not Unusual" and people did double takes; he performed four songs for the British Busking Challenge run by the BBC's Culture Show. [News.com.au]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still engaged. And the wedding will be small, which means you're not invited. Sorry. [People]
• Back in August, Jackson Browne sued John McCain for using his song, "Running On Empty." Now McCain says Browne complained so he could get press to promote his new album, which came out a month later. McCain also argues that he can use whatever song he wants, since he's running for office and not trying to make money off of the music. What will the court decide? [TMZ]
• Michelle Hurd, who plays Eleanor Waldorf's assistant, Laurel, on Gossip Girl, says she bought her mom a vibrator for Christmas: "I actually got my mother the Rabbit last year," she says. "She was quite shocked and turned red instantly, but probably a month later she very quietly thanked me." [NY Mag]
• Actor John Turturro has great things to say about Barack Obama: "I think it's very interesting that he wants to surround himself with people who are strong and good. That's what Lincoln did—he put his adversaries, people who were on the other side, into his cabinet." But! Turturro, born and raised in Brooklyn, doesn't mind if Hillary Clinton moves to Washington: "I don't consider Hillary Clinton a New Yorker. I consider her a Senator from New York, but I don't consider her a New Yorker. She is from Illinois. A lot of people in New York aren't from New York, but she hasn't been here long enough for me to consider her a New Yorker." [Observer]
• Usher's mom maybe didn't pay her limo driver, boo. [TMZ]
• Is Kirk Cameron — who says civil marriage is not susceptible to any change because it is ordained by God — one of the "American Taliban"? [The Atlantic]
• Brit band Take That has a song inspired Amy Winehouse: Lyrics include, "All this noise and all these lights/All this talking through the night. All this expectation now it’s making me neurotic/ Tell me have I seen your face before? How did it come to this?/ How did it ever come to this?" [The Sun]
• Homecoming time! James Van Der Beek went back to Wilmington, NC — working with some of his former Dawson's Creek crew — for a guest appearance on the CW's One Tree Hill. [AP]
• Is anyone sorta tickled by the Bob Hope postage stamp? Thanks for the memories… [Yahoo News]
• Ivanka Trump's writing her first book! A "motivational title for women of her generation" with personal experiences in life and business, and lessons learned from her father and other business luminaries. Look for it in fall 2009. [PW]
• Adrien Brody was interviewed by gay magazine The Advocate, but refused to answer the silly questions asked of him, explaining that he is a "serious person." [Perez Hilton]
• Mischa Barton's official web site is live. Not that you care. [Socialite Life]
• Rita Wilson tried to buy a Beatles poster for her husband, Tom Hanks, but the seller couldn't provide a certificate of authenticity. Wilson declined to make the purchase and the seller "became belligerent" and now the mess is in court. Can't buy me love? [TMZ]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean is being sued by his personal trainer. Pay your bills! [TMZ]
• Four words: Monty Python YouTube Channel! [Telegraph]
• Mel Gibson's marriage is not on the rocks, even though there's "a dark-haired beauty named Oksana" who hangs around his movie set and "no one is quite sure what her role is." [Rush & Molloy]
• "She packs for me with beautiful notes in my luggage that I discover. She's always doing sweet things." — Seal on Heidi Klum. [People]
• "I like writing songs about boys and relationships. And when someone breaks up with me, I like to write about it, because I feel like I have the last word. That's the fun part. I have no issue with naming names. My personal goal is for my songs to be so detailed that the guy the song is written about knows it's about him." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "She's a technically amazing singer, obviously — if she wasn't a star, she could always make a living with that voice, because it's like an instrument. But it's also such an original voice — as soon as you hear it on any track, you know exactly who it is. A great singer is somebody who makes you believe what they're saying, and you always believe what Annie is telling you… I also have to be superficial for a moment and point out that she is this unbelievably hot chick — and she has stayed hot to this day." — Rob Thomas on Annie Lennox. [Rolling Stone]
• "Well there's no doubt that election night was a bittersweet night. But in some ways, these kinds of setbacks allow for a bigger fight, more challenges, and eventually we're going to get it right. Eventually the American public will figure out that it really isn't right to deny citizens basic civil human rights. And we can no longer allow that to happen." — Kevin Spacey on Prop 8. [HuffPo]
• "Travelling with the family is fun… The other day, when we flew from LA to Germany, all of us had terrible jet lag. The children kept waking up, so we all got up, turned on the TV, made snacks, and were up until 4am. We laughed our heads off - the kids are some of the funniest people Brad and I have ever met. So more [children] sounds like a great idea, as much as it's hard work. It's just worth it." — Angelina Jolie. [Telegraph]
• "This is nothing new for me. When I got married, it was an act of civil disobedience as much as it was a love story. There is not any person in the country who doesn’t know I’m for gay marriage. I'm not vocal enough? I got married before anyone else did. I’ve been living it and living it for a very long time." — Rosie O'Donnell, to critics who question why she's been "absent" from the uproar over Prop 8. [LA Times]

• Miley Cyrus's YouTube account was hacked yesterday and a video was posted, claiming that the star is dead. The description reads: "Miley died this morning after being hit by a drunk driver. She always told us if anything ever happened to her then tell her loyal fans first before the public. R.I.P Miley, we'll never forget you!" It's all a lie and has since been pulled down. [Perez Hilton]
• Prince goes door-to-door in LA to preach the word of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Ahem. [Page Six]
• Jessica Alba is delighted by motherhood: "Everything is cute, everything is fun," say says, "including the explosive diarrhea — the best ever." Ew, sounds… shitty. [UPI]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty have split; she's back in London, alone and he may want to get back with his wife, Rosetta. Who will Sienna date next? [Daily Mail]
• Wanda Sykes was at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas on Saturday; she told the crowd: "You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life. Everybody that knows me personally they know I'm gay. But that's the way people should be able to live their lives." But, Sykes said, Prop 8 made her feel like she was being attacked. "Now, I gotta get in their face," she said. "I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay." [Breitbart]

• A Sarah Palin book deal? The governor could get $7 million! [MSNBC]
• Angelina Jolie is "embarrassed" that her father was among the few celebs who supported John McCain. She's supposedly especially dismayed that he called Sarah Palin as running mate "a beautiful choice." Sigh. [Daily Express]
• Sheikh Abdulla Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa, son of the King of Bahrain, is suing Michael Jackson for breach of contract. Will MJ appear in court? Or will the dispute be settled? The sheik wants $7 million… [Daily Express]
• American Idol is filming in L.A. this week and contestants, families and staff have been strictly forbidden to mention the suicide that occurred in front of Paula's home. [TMZ]
• Breaking Hills news from Audrina Patridge: "There is going to be a fifth season. We just found out." She doesn't seem excited. "At one point, all of us were like, 'No, we don't want to do another season,'" she says. "I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she’s doing her own spin-off. And Lauren’s dating [My Boys actor] Kyle [Howard] but he can’t be on the show because he’s on another show, so that makes it hard." [People]
• Ashlee Simpson thought she was going into labor on Saturday, but it was a false alarm. When will the wee Wentz arrive? [Perez Hilton]
• Kate Hudson: Spotted getting "very friendly" with a female model in Miami. [Perez Hilton]
• Kanye West says he never assaulted a photographer. "I put my hand up to prevent him from taking my image. I didn't assault him… The next morning, plastered across every media outlet... Kanye Gets Arrested. It didn't matter that I wasn't charged or that I hadn't assaulted anyone. All that mattered was that I was arrested." [People]
• The Brit tabs are not happy Kanye has namedropped Princess Diana. [The Sun]
• Hugh Jackman on getting intimate with Nicole Kidman in Australia: "The camera is like a dancer. If you watch any of [Baz Lurhmann's] movies, visually, the love scenes are like poetry." [People]
• Katie Holmes was asked who she considers a role model and answered: "Jada [Pinkett Smith] is so strong. She is a rare woman – a phenomenal friend, mother, wife. She inspires me." [People]
• No one laughed when Tom Cruise appeared in Nazi gear in a trailer for Valkyrie when this NY Times reporter was in a theater on Friday night. [NY Times]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince had a fight; she found a vial of his ex-girlfriend's blood he'd stashed as a memento. The ex is Raveonettes singer Sharin Foo; apparently Hince also kept a bunch of love letters from her as well. A spy says "He could just never bring himself to throw them away." Okay, but… blood? Are pressed flowers and photographs not enough? [The Sun]
• Suge Knight's been charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance (meth and hydrocodone) and one count misdemeanor battery. These stem from an August incident in Las Vegas, in which he allegedly punched his girlfriend of three years, Melissa Isaac, in the back of the head while they were driving. [TMZ]
• Sigourney Weaver is in Morocco at the eighth Marrakech International Film Festival, where she was being honored. She says: "Things are not at all as simple as we in America perceive them about the role of women. We tend to lump the entire Arab world together, which is inaccurate. They love all the strength in women here; it's very much a part of the culture. It's going to take me a while to decipher all the contradictions from actually being here." [USA Today]
• Kelly Osbourne and Luke Worrall are engaged, if you believe Luke's Facebook profile. [NY Mag]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna's "soulmate," Alex Rodriguez, were at the same "showbiz" party in Miami and now the Brit tabs are saying he was "spellbound" by Gwynnie. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Madonna: She's got a video on her website asking people to donate to her school for girls in Malawi. [Mirror]
• Ridiculously romantic Seal and Heidi Klum are getting married again in Mexico, in the spring. This will be the fourth time. "It's where we got married in May 2005, and it's become a bit of a custom to get married there again every year," he explains. "We love it. It's great saying your vows again. You remember who it was you fell in love with. It's also a good excuse to have a big party, and we have a different theme every year." [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse was on a "wild rampage" on Friday. [Mirror]
• Jean-Claude Van Damme spends most of this Newsweek interview hitting on the reporter, telling her: "I would love to be naked in front of you." He also invites her to the premier of his film and says, "We can have some champagne, you and me." [Newsweek]
• Charlize Theron has been named a United Nations messenger of peace, with a special focus on ending violence against women. [Reuters]
• Uh-oh: Justin Timberlake's New York City restaurant, Southern Hospitality, is being sued by a busboy (on behalf of 50 other employees), claiming the joint has cheated staff out of tips, proper pay and overtime. [Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe share custody of the kids during the holidays. "I think the most important thing is to be a grownup," she says, "and not let any kind of feelings affect how you deal with your children." [People]
• Some of the original stars of ER are coming back for the final season, but not Julianna Margulies: She was invited but declined, saying, "I feel like I left [my character] Carol Hathaway in the best scenario possible." [AP]
• Isabel Lucas and Shia LaBeouf: It's on. She's the one who was in his car when it got totalled by another vehicle that ran a red light. And yeah, she's in the Transformers sequel. [News.com.au]
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding star Nia Vardalos and husband Ian Gomez have a baby. She was quietly adopted several months ago and is a toddler under five years old. Her rep says: "They are going public now to bring attention to National Adoption Month and the 500,000 children in foster care." [Yahoo News, People]
• Lily Allen's little brother Alfie and his fiancée, Jaime Winstone, had a "public row" after a boozy night. She screamed at him in the street! [Mirror]
• Rapper Nelly has a marketing deal with Ford, but he's not in ads or commercials: He just drives the Flex SUV and puts it in his video. It's promotion, not advertising. See? [Reuters]
• Rob Lowe says he and his kids fled the California wildfire near his home just in time: Apparently the flames were shooting 200 feet, the wind was blowing at 70 miles an hour and "it was just like Armageddon." [AP]
• Snoop Dogg's family and staff were among the 26,000 residents forced to evacuate due to the California wildfires; Snoop wasn't home. [Yahoo News]
• Ann Curry has been climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa, for the Today show and says it's "like climbing a Stairmaster for six hours a day with 20 pounds on your back." Ann, 52, did not have much time to train because the trip was assigned at the last minute. "To be honest with you, I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the top," she says. "But all the pain and suffering is worth it because of the incredible vistas all around me." And: "I miss my family. And also warm showers. And I could really use a stiff drink." [AP]
• Are the Fugees getting back together? Wyclef Jean says maybe! Has he told Lauryn Hill? (He says, "It's not gonna happen without Lauryn.") [ITN]
• Bruno Tonioli says Simon Cowell wants to buy Strictly Come Dancing, the Saturday night rival show of his show, X Factor. Simon's spokesperson says it's a joke, but won't Simon own all TV shows someday? [Telegraph]
• In this interview with Helen Mirren, she talks about her tattoo, prostitutes of a certain age, and what makes her cry. Also, she rides a motorcycle in a new children's movie called Inkheart, and says: "I didn’t have to learn [to ride it] because I already had a motorbike when I was in my early twenties. So I thought, I don’t care what else happens, I want to be on that motorbike again." [Times]
• Oh, and here's Helen Mirren talking about what she was like as a schoolgirl. [Daily Mail]
• A car owned by David Beckham when he was 19 years old is up for sale. It's a 1994 Volkswagen Golf. No one wants to buy it. [The Sun]
• The house where David Beckham grew up is also up for sale. It's a three bedroom priced at £1million — about four times what it's worth — because the owners are trying to cash in on the fact that David Beckham lived there. For two years. As a baby. [Daily Mail]
• A new character on Lost could be part of the Dharma Initiative. [EW]
• Celebs sometimes edit their own Wikipedia entries, but, more often, a publicist does it for them. Apparently the head of communications at Wikipedia gets a few complaints a week from star reps asking for changes. [Yahoo News]
• Bernie Mac's daughter says: "When I turn a corner, I'm still thinking, 'I'm going to see him.' I've had moments where I've woken up and I've sworn I could feel him smacking me on the back of the leg. I'll say, 'That hurts. I told you to stop. You're still so heavy-handed, even on the other side.' […] He was my dad, my first guy I ever fell in love with, my protector. He was the one I laughed with. It's going to be very hard to live without that." [People]
• Melissa Joan Hart's got two small sons and says "It's a constant workout. You don't have time to eat because you're chasing them all the time!" [People]
• Debbie Matenopolous of E! and formerly of The View is about to be single again: Her husband has filed for divorce. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney wants to release "Carnival Of Light," a 14-minute experimental track the Beatles recorded in 1967 but never released. The recording includes distorted guitar, organ sounds, gargling and shouts of "Barcelona!" and "Are you all right?" A hit, to be sure. [AP]
• Kevin Costner and his band Modern West released a CD last week. The sound is "rock-roots with elements of country." Costner says: "When I'm making a movie I'm playing whoever I'm playing. But my personality comes out on stage when I play live. That's when you see me the clearest." [AP]
• Former Guns N' Roses drummer Steven Adler was charged with heroin possession; he's hoping to head to rehab instead of jail and then maybe back with the band. [Reuters]
• Former Soul train host Don Cornelius: Charged with spousal battery, assault with a deadly weapon and dissuading a witness from making a police report. He could face up to one year in prison for each of the five misdemeanor charges. [AP]
• A writer visits Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food in Rotherham to find out if the project — a walk-in center on the town's main square offering advice and free cooking lessons to anyone who cares to sign up — is working. [Guardian]
• Terri Irwin: Not looking for romance. [UPI]
• Did Terri Irwin "ignore" Bob Irwin, Steve Irwin's dad, at Steve Irwin Day celebrations at Australia Zoo? Bob wasn't mentioned at all and was not seated with Terri or his grandchildren. [News.com.au]
• Legal drama involving the estate of Don Ho. [UPI]
• Believe it or not, cheesy '80s series Greatest American Hero is becoming a feature film. Oh, and there will be an A-Team flick as well as a 21 Jump Street movie. All of your memories, rehashed. [LA Times]
• Speaking of remakes, a producer has offered Arnold Schwarzenegger a cameo in a remake of Conan The Barbarian. The dude says: "He was smiling, but he didn't say yes." [Daily Express]
• "I said, 'Great, I'll do it!' It's very exciting to do something where no artifice is required. The only artifice is going to be your pretending to be that person. You're not going to have any other physical props, nothing to make you more attractive. Because attractive isn't the issue here." — Kristin Scott Thomas, on finding out she wouldn't be wearing any makeup for her role in I've Loved You So Long. [Washington Post]
• "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have an idea and have to get up and record it straight away before I forget it. Or with 'Hero,' I was in the studio and someone was telling me about this film Hero with Dustin Hoffman in it. I took a walk to the bathroom and when I came back I had this idea for a song, and that was what then became 'Hero.'" — Mariah Carey. [Daily Express]
• "One time I met this guy in a restaurant on a date and he was really fun. Then we hung out at another bar and, as we were saying our goodnights, he says: 'So, are you coming home with me or not?' I was like: 'WHAT?' To me, that was probably the most bizarre ending to a date I've ever been on. Was I a prude? Oh well, that was the end of him. He lost me in one night." — Kate Hudson on her "date from hell." [Daily Mail]
• "He’s a man and he will always want more sex than he gets. Pete might not get it often… but when he does it’s worth it." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "I don't know what the motivation was. I remember it was something really vulgar - I mean shockingly so, like, 'Whoa, what, who are you?' I don't really know that person [Lohan]. I only met her, like, three times." — Scarlett Johansson, on the incident in which Lindsay Lohan scrawled "Scarlett is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom wall two year ago. [New York Post]
• "I studied homeopathy for years and years. Herbs and all kinds of acupuncture, acupressure, alternative medicine. I think it's just better to treat the whole person. And the wonderful thing I've seen over the last 20 years is how mainstream medicine has really opened its doors to alternative medicine." — Sissy Spacek. [NY Post
• "PAPARAZZI GIVE REAL PHOTOGRAPHERS A BAD NAME. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, THEIRS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND DOLLARS… LET US NOT FORGET THE PAPS KILLED PRINCESS DIANA. WHEN WILL THERE BE A LAW PASSED THAT SIMPLY ENFORCES THAT SOMEONE HAS TO ASK TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU. THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE COMMON COURTESY. RIGHT NOW THE PAPS ARE ABOVE THE LAW AND THE PEOPLE THEY SHOOT ARE BELOW IT. WHAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IS PICTURES TAKEN WITH THE INTENT TO SELL….LIKE DRUGS WITH THE INTENT TO SELL… THE COPS WERE VERY CORDIAL BUT TOLD ME THEY HAD TO ARREST ME BECAUSE A COMPLAINT WAS FILED. THAT WAS THE BOGUS PART. THEY PLACED ME IN HANDCUFFS AND DROVE ME TO THE STATION. THEY SPOKE ABOUT HOW THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY A PUBLICITY STUNT BY THE PHOTOGRAPHER BUT THEY STILL HAD TO GO THOUGH THE MOTIONS." — Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]

[Los Angeles, November 6. Image via x17]

• OMG. This may make you hyperventilate: Mad Men's Jon Hamm is in talks to do a multi-episode arc on 30 Rock. The man known as Don Draper could be Liz Lemon's neighbor and a potential love interest for Tina Fey's character. Breathe. Just breathe. [EW]
• Jennifer Lopez sued her first husband, former waiter Ojani Noa, for writing a tell-all book about their relationship; it violated a 2002 confidentiality agreement. Inside: details about her "multiple duplicitous sexual affairs" behind Noa's back (including a tryst with Marc Anthony while he was married to ex-Miss Universe Dayanara Torres). Anywhoozle, an L.A. judge has awarded Ms. Lopez $545,000, because she really needs the money. How Mr. Noa is gonna get it is another question. [E!]
• Today in Madonna/Guy Ritchie news: She "bombards him" with "weird" texts and says "you're going down." Meanie! [Mirror]
• Madonna had a "secret helicopter trip" to visit A-Rod less than a week after her split from Guy Ritchie, and they met at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. Yeah, I dunno. [The Sun, TMZ]
• Wait, apparently The Seinfelds have been friends with Madonna for years. [Page Six]

• Jennifer Hudson's family has announced a new organization: The Hudson-King Foundation for Families of Slain Victims is named in honor of the singer-actress's slain mother Darnell Hudson Donerson, brother Jason Hudson and nephew Julian King. "The specific purpose of the Foundation is to care for the needs of families who have lost relatives to a violent crime," the family says in a statement. "This encompasses their basic needs of food, clothing and shelter as well as grief counseling." The foundation is accepting donations, click for the address. [People]
• New details: Police believe Jennifer Hudson's nephew was shot in the SUV in which he was found. William Balfour, who is Julian's stepfather, has refused to take a lie-detector test and has stopped cooperating with detectives. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Hudson was on vacation with fiancé David Otunga in Florida when her sister Julia called her with the news. Jennifer is on the cover of People this week. [USA Today]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson is "still in shock," "hasn't gone out much at all" and "has lots of security around her." She is holed up in a hotel in Chicago and has not been seen in public since identifying her nephew's body on Monday. [Yahoo News]
• Not only is Joaquin Phoenix retiring from Hollywood, he's moving away: He just put his Hollywood Hills home on the market. So long, burning hot bird. [TMZ]
• Uh-oh: Yesterday Jermaine Jackson said that there would be a Jackson 5 reunion with both Michael and Janet; today Michael says: "My brothers and sisters have my full love and support, and we’ve certainly shared many great experiences, but at this time I have no plans to record or tour with them. I am now in the studio developing new and exciting projects that I look forward to sharing with my fans in concert soon." Hey, Jermaine, before you announce that Michael is touring with you, you probably should check with Michael. [Perez Hilton, Reuters]
• Here's a profile of the two guys who are running the Brooklyn restaurant Heath Ledger had planned to open: "The actor truly lived the New York experience. He taught his daughter how to skateboard. He rode his bike over the Williamsburg Bridge. He visited farmer’s markets. He played chess in Washington Square Park, and he brought coffee for the paparazzi. 'He really just took New York and rolled with it,' Mr. Mongell said. 'He was just one of us, man.'" [NY Times]
• Photographer Timothy White has published a book called Hollywood Pinups, in which stars like Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, Kate Hudson, Vanessa Williams and Susan Sarandon pose in classic vintage Vargas girl style. [LA Times]
• Brooke Shields is thinking about adopting, but she won't go outside the U.S.: "There are a lot of babies out there in our immediate back yard that need families." [Daily Express]
• Did you know that Wilmer Valderramma had an animated show on the Disney Channel? He speaks to JustJared "exclusively" about the show in a fairly boring interview. [Just Jared]
• Mick Jagger's daughter Elizabeth is being forced to move out of her New York apartment; the owner decided to put it on the market. Elizabeth will find a new place and paint it black. [Daily Express]
• It's the end of the road for Fox show King Of The Hill: It's not being renewed past its current 13th season. [UPI]
• If you want to see John Mayer sing Stevie Wonder's "Love's In Need Of Love Today" and dedicate it to Barack Obama, click here. [E!]
• In this interview, Quantum Of Solace Bond Girl Olga Kurylenko says stuff like: "I’m not a romantic person" and "Most of my life I’ve been alone" and, growing up in poverty in the little Ukrainian town of Berdyansk, "I ate cabbage my whole childhood. My mother said it was good for my breasts, but I think she lied." [Mirror]
• John McCain on Saturday Night Live this weekend? Maybe. [MSNBC]
• Margaret Cho's had to cancel shows because she is "unbelievably sick." Get well! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which blockbuster director has only himself to blame for his recent burglary? After a hard day of filming, he decided to unwind with a couple of prostitutes who stole his valuables." [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth on the new Melrose Place: "I don't want to do it." Heh. Tell us how you really feel, Jen! [E!]
• Melissa Etheridge's 9-year-old son on California's Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage: "Wow, that's lame." From the mouths of babes! [People]
• Punky Brewster Soleil Moon Frye renewed her wedding vows. Damn, her kids are cute. [People]
• Rachael Ray's magazine is totally voting for Obama. [TMZ]
• Ryan Seacrest on Jennifer Hudson: "I always liked her spirit, her strength, her charm, her charisma. She's a strong girl and a special girl." [People]
• Look at this picture of 10-year-old Keira Knightley! She was in a cop show called The Bill. [The Sun]
• Some people are supporting Russell Brand after he was fired for making a nasty joke on his radio show; others are attacking him. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell lost "Most Popular Talent Show Award" at the National Television Awards, so he went out and got drunk. But actually, everyone was drinking, it was an after party. Sheesh. [The Sun]
• Actress Michelle Yeoh and 1,000 Vietnamese children marched in Hanoi yesterday to promote motorcycle helmets. The weird thing is, she's not wearing one in the picture accompanying this story. Maybe so you know she's the star and not a schoolkid? [Yahoo News]
• Sean Connery denies that he's coming out of retirement for one last film. Maybe he could just do some voicemails? Love that Scottish burr! [Daily Express]
• Four ooky, spooky words: Addams Family, The Musical! [NY Mag]
• Financial markets may be down, but the prices of James Bond memorabilia? Up! "License to make a killing." [Reuters]
• "My health is great but there's a wind thing that blows there [in Las Vegas] at different months and I have an allergy to it. If I had cancer everyone would know it. I wouldn't tell them, but somebody would. When you have those kind of things happen if you're famous you can't keep them a secret. [The reports] don't make me angry. People have been saying the weirdest things since I was a teenager." — Cher, on the rumor that she canceled a Caesar's Palace show because she has cancer. [Daily Express]
• "She is very pregnant. I am on call permanently right now. She's at the very end, and it could happen at any point. She (feels) hot all the time. I think she wants to just be not pregnant anymore. It's a struggle to go up and down the stairs. Going out in public is insane." — Pete Wentz, on Ashlee Simpson. [People]
• "It used to be that when you got into the first team then the rewards would come, whereas young kids these days are earning so much money at such a young age. You want that hunger there, you want the hunger to be rewarded. Unfortunately, that's not the case these days. They can all afford to buy their own cars. That's the bad part - to have that at such a young age." — David Beckham, on overpaid young athletes. [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm sure these kids in bands think they're rock stars these days, and I'm sure they are to a certain extent. To me, there's a lot of people making music in bands and there's not so many rock stars around. And I don't know what it is, mate. I think they're trying too fucking hard and it's coming across really fake." — Liam Gallagher. [Rolling Stone]
• "[Marriage licences] should be like dog licences. I think you should have to renew marriage licences, unless you have children. And I think before you have children you should have to go and pass various tests and get a licence to have a child. Because it's the most transformative and difficult thing of your life." — John Cleese. [Telegraph]
• "I think giving birth to a child, as a woman, is what we're born to do. I don't mean that to sound sexist, because many women don't get to do it, and I thought I was one of them. But at the same time, if you are given that gift, it's an extraordinary thing. Bella and Connor are 15 and 13, so we've taken them, Tom and I, almost into their adult life. To then have a birth child that I have to take into adult life, give her her wings, it's a big purpose. I know my place. Put it that way." —Nicole Kidman, talking about Sunday Rose and her other kids, in Parade. [Perez Hilton]
• "I was taken aback when I met her. I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I'd seen. I thought: 'Wow! Whoever goes out with that girl is one lucky guy!' A month into our relationship, she told me she was pregnant, but was no longer with the father. I told her it didn't change the way I felt about her. Apart from being my wife, she's also my best friend." — Seal, on Heidi Klum. [Daily Mail]

• Ladies! Get your issue of Entertainment Weekly and hold on to it tightly. Daniel Craig looks mighty fine. [Just Jared]
• Daniel Craig showed up at the London premiere of Quantum of Solace with a black sling. He is still injured! (We've seen him in a sling before.) [Guardian]
• When Courtenay Semel — whose dad used to run Yahoo, who was once Lindsay Lohan's roommate and Tila Tequila's girlfriend — was arrested in Vegas in August, she allegedly said to the security guard who was trying to prevent her from entering a club: "Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me, you dumb fuck." Then she hit him in the face. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen's PR Machine calls her "the Wordsworth of the MySpace generation." Apparently, her new album, It's Not Me, It's You, contains the following couplet: "Now I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed/I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I've spent ages giving head." HAHAHA. [Guardian]

• A gun thought to be the murder weapon in the Jennifer Hudson family tragedy has been found. [TMZ]
• William Balfour, the main suspect in the Hudson murders, has refused a polygraph test. [Yahoo News]
• There was a drug raid at the Hudson house in 2002: Jennifer's brother, Jason, allegedly sold crack to a registered informant. [TMZ]
• Nancy Grace spoke with the mother of William Balfour, the man who is being held in the triple murder of Jennifer Hudson's family. His mom says Jennifer Hudson's brother was selling drugs out of the house and her son was with a girlfriend at the time of the crime. [TMZ via CNN]
• Melissa Etheridge blogged about being gay and truing to adopt kids over at the Daily Beast. "I know my preference of lifemate freaks some people out," she writes. "Maybe it is just their fear of sex or intimacy. I know that they hold up the Bible and say that it's wrong… I will never forget the day earlier this year when the news came down the wire that the Supreme Court of California had declared same sex marriage legal," Etheridge recalls. "We told our children about it and all danced around the room in family glee." [Yahoo News, via E!]
• You guys, this country is going to get less beautiful if Obama doesn't get elected: Seal says he and Heidi Klum will leave the U.S. if McCain wins! Seal told this month's Vanity Fair: "If McCain is elected and America staggers on further towards the abyss, then we will leave the country. That is not a problem for us.” It's a problem for us, dude. [LA Times]
• Did you get invited to Heidi Klum's big Halloween bash? Neither did we. Seal, Debra Messing and Christian Siriano will be there. [Page Six]
• Yesterday, Matilda Ledger turned three. It was her first birthday without her dad. She celebrated at home with mom MIchelle Williams and a small group of family and friends. [News.com.au]
• Angelina Jolie was in Afghanistan last week, meeting with refugees who have returned to their post-Taliban homeland. She says: "After seeing real suffering, you never complain anymore." [People]
• Nicole Kidman keeps crying when she thinks of her baby daughter, Sunday Rose. But! "They are tears of joy." Hey, lady: You do have other kids, you know. [The Sun]
• David and Victoria Beckham: Superheroes? Stan Lee thinks so! "They're great looking, talented and colorful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it—superheroes," he says. Would they have capes? Skin-tight outfits? Would Posh be able to render you immobile with a mere glare? [Yahoo News via E!]
• This is hard to imagine, but Victoria Beckham has been training for the New York Marathon in secret. She may not run this weekend if she doesn't feel ready, but she's planning to do the one in L.A. in February. As if wearing all those heels did not punish her feet enough? [Perez Hilton]
• Denis Leary is sorry about his autism remarks, you guys. He says: "I apologize for any pain the out-of-context quotes from my book may have caused." [Daily Express]
• After Julianne Hough admitted that she had endometriosis, Lacey Schwimmer from Dancing With The Stars has announced that she, too has endometriosis. And that she never would have gotten it checked out if it wasn't for Julianne. [ET]
• The Keanu Reeves trial continues! His lawyer caused the paparazzo who filed suit to "buckle under questioning." Sorta wish it was televised. [AP]
• Madonna made an "emotional late-night call" to Guy Ritchie and "pleaded" with him to settle their divorce amicably. And by that she means having a mediation with Kabbalah rabbis instead of going to court. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "rocky" interview in which Guy Ritchie discusses RocknRolla and, um, a Kabbalah documentary he's working on. Bet that's off! [News.com.au]
• Rosario Dawson wants to clear up the rumors that she is engaged. She's not. "Oh my God, I'd be getting calls from my grandmother being like, 'Mija! How come I had to read this first?'" Grandma's reading trashy gossip! [People]
• Jennifer Lopez is an evil genius: She keeps making crappy pilots, which TV networks don't pick up, but she still gets money for them, because they've signed a contract with her. It's twisted. [Jossip]
• Peaches Geldof made a wasted spectacle of herself at her husband's band's gig and there's "trouble in paradise." No one saw this coming. No one. [Mirror]
• Celine Dion has rescheduled a concert in Minneapolis/St. Paul due to "respiratory illness." Wasn't she just on Oprah? And what do you say to taking chances??? [Star-Tribune]
• Is Celine going to try and get knocked up again? [Daily Express]
• Natalie Cole says: "I feel sturdy and strong," despite undergoing dialysis three times a day week. AMAZING. [People]
• Derek Jeter will not admit that he is dating Minka Kelly, and when asked about A-Rod, replied: "Don't start with me about Kabbalah. I went to Catholic school." Dude, so did Madonna. [People]
• Bruce Springsteen is a party pooper! He's not having his elaborate Halloween decorations this year because his cool set-up attracts too many visitors. Boo. No, really. Boo. [AP]
• Bill Pullman's 19-year-old son was arrested in North Carolina for alleged underage drinking and possession of moonshine. No word on whether he was driving a car with doors welded shut called the General Lee. [UPI]
• Courteney Cox will be in a new ABC half-hour comedy called — uh — Cougar Town. Cox stars as a newly single 40-year-old mom. Lemme guess: She goes on dates, sometimes with younger dudes. [Variety]
• This young lady — Andrew Sachs' granddaughter — claims that Russell Brand was a "disappointment" in bed. [The Sun]
• After resigning from his radio show for saying he'd "fucked" Andrew Sachs' granddaughter, Russell Brand says "I hope to go to America now and make quite a lot of films." What kind of films, hmm? [The Sun]
• Now that the FBI has raided the home of hacker Josh Holly, who hacked Miley Cyrus' e-mail account, Miley is reportedly a "nervous wreck," worrying that more personal pictures and info will be made public, despite the government's involvement. [ONTD]
• Zac Efron talked about his hair with Ellen DeGeneres: "I actually modeled it [after] Ellen season 2," he said. "Smart," Ellen replied. "So you're copying me?" Zac confirmed, "I am in fact." [People]
• Nicolas Cage is selling his "haunted" New Orleans mansion, if you have $3.8 million. You could live near Brad and Angie! [Daily Express]
• Whoa. An apology from The Sun: "On 19 June 2007, we reported that David Hasselhoff had celebrated winning custody of his two daughters by getting drunk and making a nuisance of himself in a Hollywood bar. We now accept that David did not drink any alcohol that evening and nor did he irritate other customers. We apologise to David for any embarrassment caused." [The Sun]
• Janet Jackson tamed down part of her concert for Michigan, where state law prohibits simulated sex acts in a public space. Usually, she pulls a male fan from the crowd, ties him down and "molests" him while her dancers mime various sexual acts, including masturbation. *cough* [Yahoo News]
• Speaking of Jacksons, here are Michael and his kids. They are wearing masks, maybe because it's Halloween, maybe because it's Wednesday night. Who knows. [The Life Files]
• Hey! The Jackson 5 are reuniting! For a tour, which would include Michael and Janet! Let's pretend they're gonna look like this, okay? [NY Times]
• Paris Hilton has parted ways with Jason Moore, who has been her manager for more than 10 years. He was the one who walked away. [Daily Express]
• Josiah Leming, a homeless singer whose mother is dying of cancer, might be blocked from releasing the album he recorded because he was a contestant last season on American Idol. Shit, when you sign a reality show contract, you generally screw yourself, huh? [Page Six]
• Peter Andre is NOT leaving Katie "Jordan" Price, so you can all just relax and get a good night's sleep, okay? [The Sun]
• Ice T's wife Coco says of Halloween: "It's my day! I get to get naked! Finally!!!" Ahem. Pardon? Ice T explains: You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they're standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco's one of them girls." [NY Mag]
• Melissa Auf der Maur has an "elaborate new project" coming out: OOOM (Out of Our Minds), a "3-D concept album" that includes a CD, a half-hour film, a comic book and website. Oh! And she has a persona in the project: MAdM. Expect a "conceptual fantasy world, spawned from sound." [ONTD]
• E! has ordered a second season of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Oh, it's simple: Vom. [AP]
• Corey Haim: Getting married. Think Feldman will attend? [ONTD]
• Beatles songs on the Rock Band video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [WSJ]
• The Phil Spector retrial has begun; yesterday the prosector told jurors Spector murdered actress Lana Clarkson in a "petulant fit of rage." [Yahoo News]
• Kato Kaelin might be back, on a reality show called 16th Minute. Bascially, it would feature "stars" whose 15 minutes of fame are up — and give them one extra minute. Do you weep for humanity? [mediabistro]
• "I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down. After that, every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really shitty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn't just go up to Puffy and say, 'Sorry, I ate a shit-load of hash brownies, I can't do your White Party.'" — Mark Ronson, on the refreshments at Diddy's soirée. [Page Six]
• "If I get married again, then it will be the last time." — Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "My mom's like 'Honey, don't get married.' It comes from a good place, but I'm such a romantic, I'd like to get married one day. It's fulfilling to live with a person you love." — Alexa Ray Joel, whose Mother, Christie Brinkley, went through a nasty divorce with Peter Cook. [Daily Express]
• "I spent most of the year I was 27 toxic, just completely over-medicated. I was stoked to make it past 27. Everyone was really worried. My management company were panicked, because I was out of the office, and 'pharmaceutically engaged.'" — Pete Wentz. [Daily Express]
• "I got into an argument with him. I don’t believe him as much as he believes him. He said something along the lines of, 'I only shag really stupid women.' And I said, 'I guess they would have to be.' I don’t get him at all." — Pink on John Mayer. [The Sun]
• "I can't stand Sarah Palin. I bet a woman like that has no sense of humor." — Grace Jones. [Yahoo News]

• Cloris Leachman was booted off of Dancing With The Stars. "I'm not leaving," she said. "I'm going to get a pretty costume and be here next week. I'm going to sit over there. I can't go home. Are you serious? This is a joke." [UPI]
• Despite at first being told she was too old, Cloris might be Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein on Broadway! Producer Mel Brooks originally told her she didn't have the "stamina" and said "We're afraid the show could kill [Leachman]. We don't want her to die onstage." [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan on Dancing With The Stars? Just the kind of trainwreckery this country needs. [New York Mag]
• Speaking of Lohans, Lindsay's former bodyguard has settled a lawsuit he filed against her. [TMZ]
• This report claims that Lindsay has lost 14 pounds and is "thinner than ever." Really? She doesn't look the way she did when she was hanging with Nic Rich back in the day. [Boston.com]
• By the by, Dina Lohan calls the reports of a Lindsay/America Ferrera feud on the set of Ugly Betty "just silly." She says: "America's a doll. And they said [Lindsay] brought a posse. It was my mother and myself, and [sister] Ali. It was not a posse. We had sushi and no one trashed the room." Dina does admit: "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to television, but it was fun." [People]
• Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in a sitcom together??? Sign, apocalypse. [News.com.au]

• BREAKING: Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from show biz. He will be working on his music now. [Extra]
• Here is a photograph of David Beckham ogling cheerleaders. (Again.) [The Sun]
• Is Angelina Jolie "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's Inglourious Basterds costar, Diane Kruger? She did star with him in Troy. [Star]
• Keanu Reeves and the paparazzo who's suing him took turns on the witness stand yesterday. Reeves told jurors he moved his car forward very slowly to try and get the photog to move out of the way, but never hit him; the photog testified the opposite, saying the car hit his knee. [AP]
• Did Madonna and Guy Ritchie have a marriage contract? In which he promised not to shout at his wife and to devote time to sex? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna has allegedly offered Guy £20million. Of her £300million fortune. Pennies! [Daily Express]
• Hey, look, Guy Ritchie's flick RocknRolla got a good review! [Yahoo News]
• When Angelina Jolie showed up at Monday night's Hollywood Film Festival Awards Gala — where she payed tribute to director Clint Eastwood — it was a total surprise. The A-list crowd reportedly "gasped audibly" when she was introduced. [People]
• At Mary-Kate and Ashley's book signing, there were incredibly elaborate rules one had to abide by, or else! [Racked]
• Here's a liveblog of the book signing. "The paparazzi are shouting 'Mary-Kate!' and 'Ashley!' and people are freaking out." [Racked]
• Oh, and there were PETA protesters outside the book signing, with signs calling the twins "fur hags from hell." [Page Six]
• Watch Britney Spears work out! Warning: Incredibly dull video of Brit repeatedly lifting weights. [MollyGood]
• Amy Poehler will not be replaced on the SNL "Weekend Update" segments; Seth Meyers will go it alone for a while. Because Amy cannot be replaced! [ET]
• First we heard that Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars went to the hospital for unknown reasons. Then we heard it was her appendix. Now she reveals it was something more personal, but her managers wanted her to lie. "It turned out I ruptured a cyst that was on my ovary. My management and the other people around me were trying to think of something else I could say that was wrong with me, but I was like, don't worry. I want to be a good role model." [TMZ]
• Julianne says: "I didn’t know but I have endometriosis. I’ve apparently had it for a long time because I’ve had this pain for about the last five years. I’m just glad I’m taking care of it now because I want to have babies some day." [People]
• Check out Bjork's well-written column about Iceland's financial meltdown. [Times of London]
• Daniel Craig jokes that if the economy's bad, glamorous locations could be dropped from Bond films. "There are plenty of places we could shoot in the British Isles," he says. "If the credit crunch hits the movie business, who knows? Bond in the Lake District, Liverpool… or Birmingham." [Telegraph]
• The case against William Balfour, the primary suspect in the murder of Jennifer Hudson's family, is building quickly. His alibi is falling apart and he was seen carrying a bottle of liquor Friday. [TMZ]
• William Balfour is a felon; he was busted in June for a "rock of cocaine" and served time for a 1999 attempted murder and vehicular hijacking conviction. [AP]
• Jennifer Hudson and her mom were "very close, very tight." Jennifer's mom hosted a block party for the whole neighborhood a few months ago. Jennifer wanted her to move, but, a neighbor says: "She didn't need a bigger house. She didn't need anyone to buy her a new car. She didn't desire or want those things. She was just supportive and stood by her daughter." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister Julia writes on her MySpace: Thank you for your prayers, thank you for posting his picture on your pages as your default picture, thank you… But his lil soul is at ease, I take comfort in knowing that Julian is with my mother and my brother and most of all The Lord and now he's my angel he's protecting me…" [Perez Hilton]
• Rosie O'Donnell on Jennifer Hudson's awful ordeal: "The family tragedy of Jennifer Hudson — no words will do — a grief too hard to comprehend. Guns and domestic violence are a lethal combination — injuring and killing women every day in the United States. A gun is the weapon most commonly used in domestic homicides. In fact, more than three times as many women are murdered by guns used by their husbands or intimate acquaintances than are killed by strangers' guns, knives or other weapons combined. Contrary to many public perceptions, many women who are murdered are killed not by strangers but by men they know." [UPI]
• Coldplay dedicated a song to Jennifer Hudson at a concert in NJ on Monday night. [Perez Hilton]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than anyone else on The View, says Whoopi Goldberg. Well, no one wants to see anything happen to Joy! [Page Six]
• Jerry "Turtle" Ferrera and Jamie Lynn Sigler — Meadow from The Sopranos: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Peter Andre, husband of Kate "Jordan" Price, is in L.A. Alone. Don't know what it means. [The Sun]
• Poor Paris Hilton. She used to get paid to show up at clubs, sometimes $100,000 "appearance fee." The recession has dropped the sum she can get to $40K or less. Tragic! [Daily Mail]
• An Austrian woman allegedly sent more than 100 letters to CSI: Miami star David Caruso, stalked him, asked him for an autograph, and then sent death threats when he refused to give her one. Authorities are looking for her; they've got an international arrest warrant, and officials said she could be hiding in Mexico. Very Special Episode? [Yahoo News]
• Hmm, Hairspray 2? John Waters is in; John Travolta's not. [Perez Hilton]
• Lauryn Hill was spotted taking her kids to see Martha Stewart at a Williams Sonoma store in New Jersey. [Perez Hilton]
• This article states, "A Canadian mathematics professor says he's used his science to solve mysteries about how the Beatles created two unique musical sounds." Someone has a lot of time on his hands! [UPI]
• Headline of the day: "AC/DC blamed for dark economic times in Britain." [News.com.au]
• On the heels of 90210, next comes Melrose Place. Would Heather Locklear come back? [LA Times]
• Half nekkid pix Naomi Campbell at an art show. [Page Six]
• "The thing that gets me the most about this country is that it’s called a “free country” but everyone is a slave to their car. From my place I can walk to my loft, but nobody walks here, everyone has a car. If I walked down there in the evening, I’d be stopped three or four times by someone who thinks I’m a prostitute, inviting me to get in their car. This is why I left the States when I was 22. I saw that I was going to be trapped into buying a car so I could get to work so I could pay for my car, and I thought, that’s not for me. " — Chrissie Hynde. [BlackBook]
• "I didn't come across too well either in the majority of reviews and even with the audiences — people did not respond to it. It was a film that was made to be seen by many people. Not many people saw it and they weren't particularly fond of it, and that was shitty, it was really shitty." — Colin Farrell, on Alexander. [Reuters]
• "Bernie and I were pals. We've known each other for a long time and we had a great relationship… If you had to pick a perfect way to be remembered for an artist, especially a guy like Bernie — the joy that this film has in it, and the kind of love and adoration that people had for him, and the kind of joy he brought people is evident in this film. [The audience] will discover that he can do things that they didn't know he could do, like sing, dance and carry this dramatic arc. I'm always finishing films and looking forward to seeing them, and I know Bernie didn't see this movie. It's kind of like 'wow.' " — Samuel L. Jackson, on Soul Men, Bernie Mac's last film. CNN]
• "I watched kids of differing physical abilities and different backgrounds from around the world lose themselves in imagination and make believe. And I was moved to tears. All I can tell you is that I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop crying." — Mike Myers, on performing at Rusk Institute in The Bronx with Only Make Believe, a theater charity group that puts on plays for young children in hospitals and care facilities. [People]
• "I like to wear formfitting things because I work very hard to keep my gorgeous figure. I’m very happy to show it off and I honestly go to the women’s department often because I know I’ll find very interesting patterns and formfitting clothes. It’s an old rock ’n’ roll trick for guys to shop in the girl’s section. I’ve recently gotten some great things at Miss Sixty, Betsey Johnson and G-Star. In the women’s department, I go for size large and in men’s, I go for small." — Perry Farrell. [BlackBook]
• "For Halloween, I'm going to look like a normal girl, put some bronzer on, some spray tan on and wear some jeans. People will ask me where my costume is! I would never do this in normal life, that's why I'll do it at Halloween. It's a bit funny and people think I'm not wearing a costume but I really am." — Dita Von Teese. [ONTD]
• "How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you’re a dead man? You go to work." — Patrick Swayze. [NY Times]
• "I feel like I’m a pretty normal 22-year-old. An actor friend told me the best way to deal with attention is to exist in the 3 feet around you when you’re out with friends — you can’t be worried about people watching you." — Lauren Conrad [Cosmopolitan]

• Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler at L.A.'s Tower Bar — days after eating there with John Mayer. Don't hate the player, hate the game. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse was in the hospital last night, being checked out for a chest infection. Is it related to the emphysema she was diagnosed with in June? [Mirror]
• Amy missed an appointment to talk to cops about punching a fan; it will be rescheduled. [TMZ]
• Although this report says Amy could get arrested, and that she's doing so many drugs she's totally out of it. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister, Julia Balfour, is begging for her son to be returned safely. He disappeared after a shooting which killed her mother and brother. At a news conference on Saturday night, she said: "All I ask, I don't care who you are, just let my baby go, please. I just want my son." [CNN]

• Jennifer Hudson showed up to officially identify the bodies of her mother and brother yesterday. [TMZ]
• Cops say there was "trouble in the marriage" between the suspect, William Balfour, and his wife, Julia. William is in police custody. [TMZ]
• Barack Obama, who also calls Chicago his hometown, says he and Michelle are "heartbroken" to hear of Jennifer Hudson's tragedy and offer "thoughts and prayers." [People]
• America's Most Wanted plans to help in the search for Jennifer Hudson's nephew. [ET]
• Jennifer Hudson has offered a $100,000 reward for her nephew's safe return. [AP]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard allegedly punched composed Tex Allen during a rehearsal for Cat On A Hot Tin Roof in January. Allen is suing for $5 million. [UPI]
• A source says Lindsay Lohan is not planning on coming out of the closet, because she's not a lesbian: She still loves men. "She has been telling everyone over and over that she’s still into guys," a "friend" says. "She keeps saying if anything went wrong with Sam she would date a guy next. She even flirts with guys when they go out." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Hudson had a Halloween party! Courteney Cox came as a witch. David Arquette was a wizard. Cindy Crawford was Amy Winehouse. Isla Fisher was a princess; Sacha Baron Cohen was a cow. Click for pictures! [Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus is living with her boyfriend Justin Gaston, don't you know? A source says: "Billy Ray wasn't born yesterday. He figures the safest path to take is to keep Miley and Justin on a short leash — and under the same roof." Just imagine all the sneaking around going on. [UPI]
• Mama mia: Victoria Beckham's been offered millions to host a documentary about husband David moving to AC Milan. Remember the one she did about moving to L.A.? It would be similar, but "more polished." [Mirror]
• David Beckham was speeding around Hollywood in his Porsche and got stopped by the cops. He flashed a smile and got a talking to instead of a ticket. [The Sun]
• David Beckham says even though he's being loaned to AC Milan, he will stay with his L.A. team. "At the end of the day, my commitment is still to the Galaxy and that's not changed," he explains. "But I've been given a chance to join up with one of the biggest clubs in the world, so I'm going to do that." [AP]
• Madonna: In "full meltdown mode"