dave matthews band

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Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
This Might Be Dave Matthews' O-Face
Ryan & Rachel: As It Should Be
Rose McGowan & Robert Rodriguez: Splitsville

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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
*rim hit*
"What would you say?"
*rhythm guitars*
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hellosunshine
09/21/09

@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: The future is no place to place your better days?
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hellosunshine
09/21/09

@hellosunshine: Or more likely, cry freedom cry?
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fishlikesequins
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
Has anyone here *not* had the Dave Matthews Band completely ruined for them by some douchey ex-boyfriend? Anyone? Raise your hand, please.
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sweetnsassy2
09/20/09

@fishlikesequins: This pretty much just ruined it for me. Although I still think Dave is way too classy to waste his time on a douche like John Edwards.
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whynotshesaid
09/20/09

@fishlikesequins: Living in Allston, Mass., during the late 90s destroyed them for me. Fucking Boston College students.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
09/20/09

@fishlikesequins: I had to refuse to let it happen.
Who had their claws in you, my friend?
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hellosunshine
09/21/09

@fishlikesequins: I'm an unapologetic DMB fan. None of my exes liked him, so I'm the douchey ex-girlfriend. Yesssss.
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la.donna.pietra
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
This would be a good time for DMB to announce that they are unavailable due to a prior commitment on the date of said ceremony, regardless of when it might occur and regardless of the likelihood of its occurrence.
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Tee for Ten
09/20/09

@la.donna.pietra: If they did something like that, I would actually have to start liking them. Not. fair!
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ihateyourescalade
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
If I were Rielle, I'd hold out for the horse-drawn carriage, the 50,000 imported orchids, the $200,000 Vera Wang dress, the full gospel choir, the Swarovski crystal cake topper and the custom-designed reception lighting gobo that projects their intertwined initials onto the dance floor. Otherwise no deal.
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la.donna.pietra
09/20/09

@ihateyourescalade: Also, swans carved in ice at the reception.
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morninggloria
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
John Edwards is the political equivalent of that guy who goes to frat parties while wearing conch shell necklaces and, over Natty Light, gets you into a conversation about sensitive, liberal issues, and then takes you back to his room where the two of you smoke weed out of a pretty intense bong and then he plays "Your Body is a Wonderland" or "Crash Into Me" on his guitar and then the two of you have sort of underwhelming missionary sex during which he spends a lot of time brushing your hair off of your face and telling you that you're beautiful. The next morning, he makes you breakfast and asks you to dinner on Tuesday. You say yes. He never calls.

The next weekend, he does the same thing with a girl who lives down the hall from you.
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Edited by morninggloria at 09/20/09 2:04 PM morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

sequined
09/20/09

@morninggloria: And even though the spell is broken and you now see what kind of douche he really is, you're somehow inexplicably heartbroken over it.
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Cam/ron
09/20/09

@morninggloria: Don't forget the Birkenstocks, the cargo shorts, a "Fuckengruven" bumper sticker on his inherited 20-year-old Volvo, and a CD of Bob Marley's "Legend" in the car stereo.
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ihateyourescalade
09/20/09

@morninggloria: OMG I know that guy.
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redqueenmeg
09/20/09

@morninggloria: HAHA OMG. Cheers. That was hilarious.
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whynotshesaid
09/20/09

@morninggloria: I got douche chills of recognition from reading that. Evidently thousands of these men roam the college dorm halls of America, preying on girls like us.
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tomatoheart
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
This is the most hilarious Dave Matthews Band thing I've seen
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bluebears
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
LOL. of course. What an assweasel.
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CaligulaSanchez
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
Listen, this girl (Rielle) worked at a tanning salon. Need I say more?
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sequined
09/20/09

@CaligulaSanchez: True story: I once opined in a (private, non-public) blog that I would not want to work in a tanning salon ever, and an extremely angry tanning salon attendant left me nasty comments about it. I'm just preparing you for the fall out.
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ihateyourescalade
09/20/09

@sequined: Like "You're just jealous, you pasty bitch"?
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RunningCori
09/20/09

@ihateyourescalade: No melanoma for you! Next!
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CaligulaSanchez
09/20/09

@sequined: Ha, Rielle Hunter is allegedly (read: obviously) the basis for Allison Poole, a character in Jay McInerney and Bret Easton Ellis' novels.

My comment was how one of the characters in American Psycho described Allison Poole (minus how she'd perform oral sex on anyone with a platinum amex)
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ihateyourescalade
09/20/09

@RunningCori: Hearted.
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ihateyourescalade
09/20/09

@CaligulaSanchez: You know she has to be klassy to hang out with McInerney.
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BowlingForDollars
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
John Edwards + Dave Matthews = passe.

This story makes complete sense to me.
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SisterCarrie
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
I like Dave Matthews. It hurts me when I hear that John Edwards likes him too.
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
09/20/09

@SisterCarrie: I like Dave too, and I used to really like John Edwards. This sucks all around.
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andromache
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
if I had unlimited resources, my wedding would be accompanied by Dave Matthews. not the whole Band, but just Dave and maybe Tim Reynolds. and then Dave would be invited to the honeymoon as well. with or without his guitar.
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Highsmith
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
I wonder: did he say: "after my wife is dead"?

Creep.
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Kivrin
09/20/09

@Highsmith: According to the news stories, yes, he did say that.

But "Creep" is by Radiohead, not DMB.

Oh, wait… ;)
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morninggloria
09/20/09

@Kivrin: "Creep" is probably in competition for the worst song to have play at your wedding.
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Kivrin
09/20/09

In reply to Typical Situation In These Typical John Edwards Times
Methinks the Bartender had given Mr. Edwards Too Much to drink on the night Sen. Douchebag made that promise. This scandal is definitely The Last Stop of Edwards' political career. At this point, his Grace Is Gone.
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Edited by Kivrin at 09/20/09 1:31 PM Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred

wtfox?!
09/20/09

@Kivrin: Ohhhh, Crash and burn... His political career's pretty much Crush(ed) by this point, the Pig.
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labyrinthine IS DOING THIS
09/20/09

@Kivrin: now, now, I'm sure he'll still have So Much to Say before he's truly ready to Say Goodbye.
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MediumMac
09/20/09

@wtfox?!: But I heard he's taking full responsibility. When asked if he made such an insipid statement, he sighed and said, "I Did It."
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wtfox?!
09/20/09

@labyrinthine IS DOING THIS: Yeah, he's going to keep Digging a Ditch. There's really no Rhyme and Reason to it, just like Mark Sanford.
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jigglyball
09/20/09

@wtfox?!: I mean, What Would You Say about it? I bet his Granny wasn't the Proudest Monkey after that one. I think John should put some Space Between himself and Rielle.
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suck_it_monkeys
06/28/09

In reply to This Might Be Dave Matthews' O-Face
I think that's his "Can you believe I'm still getting away with the whole drunken philandering schtick? It's AWESOME amirite?!" face

Much like Ayn Rand novels, I am sort of super embarrassed by how much I used to LOVE this man and his totally mediocre* music. It was the late 90s and I was very young, okay???

* Except #41, which is still my jam
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SharonTaint
06/28/09

In reply to This Might Be Dave Matthews' O-Face
There's something Jeremy Pivenesque about him that makes everything I've eaten just heave upwards and out.

I won't even get into the music.
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Antrack
06/28/09

@SharonTaint: Randomly, those are 2 of the few celebrities I've ever met, and trust me, Dave Matthews is no Jeremy Piven. I know this is disappointing, because I love me a good a-hole celebrity story, but Dave was really nice to a bunch of friends and I when we were all about 14 and star-struck. I'm not such a fan of his music anymore, though I might throw some on in the heat of the summer, but I think he's genuinely a really cool guy.

Piven, on the other hand, is 10 times more douche-tastic than you think he is. He once tried to run me off the lakeshore path in Chicago to stop me and talk to me. I came up behind him thinking, "Who is this idiot in the $300 jeans riding his $800 bike on the lake trail when it's 90 out?" It was Piven, and his PYT (more Y than P in my case) alarm went off as I passed and he basically tried to run sideways in front of me to stop me. I rode on to North Avenue Beach and proceeded to go about my day, laying out. About 20 minutes later, the Pivs shows up (cuz he's that much slower than me - and I'm not fast) and literally stands in the middle of the beach, in jeans, drinking water, and waiting for people to notice him. Some dudes finally did, but he was clearly not seeking their attention. He then proceeded to go around and INSULT groups of girls, like he was 5 and showing them he liked them.

I'm getting riled up just thinking about this, so let me conclude. Dave Matthews, for all his faults, should NOT be lumped in with Jeremy Piven.
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chatterboxwriting
06/28/09

@Antrack: That was a really good story. Thanks for sharing!

* No sarcasm; I just read the comment and it sounds like it might be snarky, but snark is not intended. I found the story interesting.

Also, what does PYT mean?
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