@fishlikesequins: This pretty much just ruined it for me. Although I still think Dave is way too classy to waste his time on a douche like John Edwards.
This would be a good time for DMB to announce that they are unavailable due to a prior commitment on the date of said ceremony, regardless of when it might occur and regardless of the likelihood of its occurrence.
If I were Rielle, I'd hold out for the horse-drawn carriage, the 50,000 imported orchids, the $200,000 Vera Wang dress, the full gospel choir, the Swarovski crystal cake topper and the custom-designed reception lighting gobo that projects their intertwined initials onto the dance floor. Otherwise no deal.
John Edwards is the political equivalent of that guy who goes to frat parties while wearing conch shell necklaces and, over Natty Light, gets you into a conversation about sensitive, liberal issues, and then takes you back to his room where the two of you smoke weed out of a pretty intense bong and then he plays "Your Body is a Wonderland" or "Crash Into Me" on his guitar and then the two of you have sort of underwhelming missionary sex during which he spends a lot of time brushing your hair off of your face and telling you that you're beautiful. The next morning, he makes you breakfast and asks you to dinner on Tuesday. You say yes. He never calls.
The next weekend, he does the same thing with a girl who lives down the hall from you.
@morninggloria: Don't forget the Birkenstocks, the cargo shorts, a "Fuckengruven" bumper sticker on his inherited 20-year-old Volvo, and a CD of Bob Marley's "Legend" in the car stereo.
@morninggloria: I got douche chills of recognition from reading that. Evidently thousands of these men roam the college dorm halls of America, preying on girls like us.
@CaligulaSanchez: True story: I once opined in a (private, non-public) blog that I would not want to work in a tanning salon ever, and an extremely angry tanning salon attendant left me nasty comments about it. I'm just preparing you for the fall out.
if I had unlimited resources, my wedding would be accompanied by Dave Matthews. not the whole Band, but just Dave and maybe Tim Reynolds. and then Dave would be invited to the honeymoon as well. with or without his guitar.
Methinks the Bartender had given Mr. Edwards Too Much to drink on the night Sen. Douchebag made that promise. This scandal is definitely The Last Stop of Edwards' political career. At this point, his Grace Is Gone.
@wtfox?!: I mean, What Would You Say about it? I bet his Granny wasn't the Proudest Monkey after that one. I think John should put some Space Between himself and Rielle.
I think that's his "Can you believe I'm still getting away with the whole drunken philandering schtick? It's AWESOME amirite?!" face
Much like Ayn Rand novels, I am sort of super embarrassed by how much I used to LOVE this man and his totally mediocre* music. It was the late 90s and I was very young, okay???
@SharonTaint: Randomly, those are 2 of the few celebrities I've ever met, and trust me, Dave Matthews is no Jeremy Piven. I know this is disappointing, because I love me a good a-hole celebrity story, but Dave was really nice to a bunch of friends and I when we were all about 14 and star-struck. I'm not such a fan of his music anymore, though I might throw some on in the heat of the summer, but I think he's genuinely a really cool guy.
Piven, on the other hand, is 10 times more douche-tastic than you think he is. He once tried to run me off the lakeshore path in Chicago to stop me and talk to me. I came up behind him thinking, "Who is this idiot in the $300 jeans riding his $800 bike on the lake trail when it's 90 out?" It was Piven, and his PYT (more Y than P in my case) alarm went off as I passed and he basically tried to run sideways in front of me to stop me. I rode on to North Avenue Beach and proceeded to go about my day, laying out. About 20 minutes later, the Pivs shows up (cuz he's that much slower than me - and I'm not fast) and literally stands in the middle of the beach, in jeans, drinking water, and waiting for people to notice him. Some dudes finally did, but he was clearly not seeking their attention. He then proceeded to go around and INSULT groups of girls, like he was 5 and showing them he liked them.
I'm getting riled up just thinking about this, so let me conclude. Dave Matthews, for all his faults, should NOT be lumped in with Jeremy Piven.
09/20/09
"What would you say?"
*rhythm guitars*
09/21/09
09/21/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
Who had their claws in you, my friend?
09/21/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
The next weekend, he does the same thing with a girl who lives down the hall from you.
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
My comment was how one of the characters in American Psycho described Allison Poole (minus how she'd perform oral sex on anyone with a platinum amex)
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
This story makes complete sense to me.
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
Creep.
09/20/09
But "Creep" is by Radiohead, not DMB.
Oh, wait… ;)
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
09/20/09
06/28/09
Much like Ayn Rand novels, I am sort of super embarrassed by how much I used to LOVE this man and his totally mediocre* music. It was the late 90s and I was very young, okay???
* Except #41, which is still my jam
06/28/09
I won't even get into the music.
06/28/09
Piven, on the other hand, is 10 times more douche-tastic than you think he is. He once tried to run me off the lakeshore path in Chicago to stop me and talk to me. I came up behind him thinking, "Who is this idiot in the $300 jeans riding his $800 bike on the lake trail when it's 90 out?" It was Piven, and his PYT (more Y than P in my case) alarm went off as I passed and he basically tried to run sideways in front of me to stop me. I rode on to North Avenue Beach and proceeded to go about my day, laying out. About 20 minutes later, the Pivs shows up (cuz he's that much slower than me - and I'm not fast) and literally stands in the middle of the beach, in jeans, drinking water, and waiting for people to notice him. Some dudes finally did, but he was clearly not seeking their attention. He then proceeded to go around and INSULT groups of girls, like he was 5 and showing them he liked them.
I'm getting riled up just thinking about this, so let me conclude. Dave Matthews, for all his faults, should NOT be lumped in with Jeremy Piven.
06/28/09
* No sarcasm; I just read the comment and it sounds like it might be snarky, but snark is not intended. I found the story interesting.
Also, what does PYT mean?