• Ian Halperin, who is pushing his book, Brangelina : The Untold Story, claims that Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston had a "heated confrontation" at a deserted Hollywood restaurant after Brad and Jen's 2006 divorce. Halperin says:

"Jen was upset and shouted at Angelina . . . There was an altercation, it got pretty heated . . . It reduced Jen to tears." Um, he also claims that before meeting Brad, Angelina was "interested" in other married men: "She said she wanted to go after either Bill Clinton or Johnny Depp." But for business reasons, no? Anyway: Grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Dumb/untrue headline of the day: "Only Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Would Take An Eight-Year-Old To See A Film About Nelson Mandela." [Daily Mail]
• Roman Polanski began his house arrest in an Alpine chalet in the luxury resort of Gstaad today. [AP]
• Miley Cyrus's tattoo allegedly says "Just Breathe," but the rumor that she got her boyfriend's name inked probably started since she dated a dude named Justin. Just, Justin. Just saying. [Daily Mail]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: So back on? Or just friends? [Page Six]
• "Sources" say that the reason Rachel Uchitel canceled her press conference about Tiger Woods is because Tiger gave her $1 million. [MSNBC]
• TMZ says Tiger didn't pay Rachel, but that she canceled her press conference because she was "scared for her safety" and fears"all the other people caught in what is becoming a very large net." What the hell does that mean? [TMZ]
• According to a report, Tiger Woods' mom and mother-in-law were at his house the night of the incident and came outside after the cops showed up, with Tiger's mom asking, "What happened?" [USA Today}
• "Sources say Bryon Bell, a childhood friend and President of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia in mid-November to secretly spend time with Tiger. The ticket was purchased by Bell using a credit card. He also booked a room for Uchitel at the Crown Towers Hotel in Melbourne." The trip, of course, was booked to coincide with the Australian Masters, which Tiger won. [TMZ]
• TMZ has emails between Byron Bell and Rachel Uchitel. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods is allegedly offering his wife Elin $80 million to stay for seven years in a revised prenup. Worth it? [NY Daily News]
• Destiny's Child is reuniting — in court for a lawsuit over the song "Cater 2 U." A source says: "Matthew [Knowles] has a long history of trying to get songwriters to add Beyoncé's name to songs she didn't compose, just so she gets publishing royalties." Kelly Rowland is pissed, apparently, that she is even involved. [Gatecrasher]
• The usually conservatively dressed Taylor Swift wears a bikini in a new video clip. [NY Daily News]
• WTF headline of the day: "Kim Kardashian: I'm Back to My Ninth-Grade Weight." Next goal: 3rd grade! Then sexy as a fetus! [E!]
• This picture of some of the kids from Glee about to sing in Bryant Park = awesome. [Gatecrasher]
• Hollywood kids in love! Patrick Schwarzenegger is seeing Tallulah Willis. [Page Six]
• Naomi Campbell went to Art Basel in Miami and a source says: "She was pretty rude, didn't bid on anything, and spent the whole time clinging to her boyfriend. Who shows up to a charity event with a bodyguard?" Is she obligated to bid on anything? What if the bodyguard was for her wealthy Russian beau? This story reeks of sour grapes. [Page Six]
• Rihanna told some radio station DJs that she likes a tall guy with a big dick. Audio at the link. [TMZ]
• In an unrelated incident, Rihanna was the subject of a random search at LAX. [NY Post]
• The other Real Housewives of NYC don't like new housewife Sonja Morgan. "I had never watched the show before I joined, " she says. "If I had, I probably wouldn't be on it." [Gatecrasher]
• It's Britney's birthday! Celebrate with this "28 Years In 28 Pictures" column. [Pop Wrap]
• Busta Rhymes was fined $75,000 because a man claims he was assaulted by the rapper at a concert. [NY Post]
• Steve-O has been clean and sober and criminal violation-free for 18 months, earning him dismissal of a cocaine-possession charge. [E!]
• "There's 16 different licenses that I do; I do acting, music and TV. It's a lot of fun, so right now we're creating some different TV shows which I'm going to star in as well as produce and I'm just finishing up my new album." — Paris Hilton has a new perfume and a bunch of other projects and she is not going away. [Mirror]
• "It's hard for me. My wife passed away seven months ago and I don't want to think about the afterlife. I don't believe in that sort of thing. It'd be nice, if it were there. Woody Allen has that great quote where he says he doesn't believe in an afterlife, although he's bringing a change of underwear. That's how I feel." — Stanley Tucci, who plays a pedophile in The Lovely Bones, which deals with life after death, in a way. He shot Julie & Julia afterward, and says: "That film was the antidote to this one, and was exactly what I needed to do. I stayed at home, worked with Meryl, laughed a ton and made martinis every night. We're like two children together and laugh all the time, which is why we get along so well." [WSJ]
• "Of course, we feel like for us to put out an album titled Greatest Hits would maybe insinuate that we've got nothing left. I look at it as the end of Chapter 1—the first 15 years. I never thought we would last more than two albums. It wasn't meant to be a band. I would've called it something else if it were meant to be a band. Something other than Foo Fighters, I swear." — More great quotes from Dave Grohl at the link. [Time]
• "I'm getting my child a mortgage. She split time between New York and L.A. growing up, but she's a New Yorker. It's a house in the West Village, which is all she wants in life." — Courtney Love is giving Frances Bean property for Christmas. [Style.com]
• "There were a ton of paparazzi in the café with their huge cameras and laptops. I was like, 'Peter, oh my god, they are so into us. They're swarming us. We are so important.' It turns out Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were living on that street. It was the winter, so the photographers would go into the café to download their pictures."— earlier this year, Maggie Gyllenhaal thought she and Peter Sarsgaard were the toast of New York. [E!]
• "I feel the consequences of that every day. I was going to put the hose in the most noxious of the cars I own, a Jeep, take some sleeping pills and take a nice nap in the front seat of my car in the garage." — Alec Baldwin, on calling his daughter a "rude, thoughtless little pig" in a voicemail. [Daily Express via Men's Journal]
• "It's been amazing [to have twin daughters] but complicated because of my current work schedule, which I have enormous regrets about… One would prefer to be held 24 hours a day, and the other is already suffering from type A issues. It is the eternal conflict of every working woman. I've done this to myself. And I have a wonderful, wonderful nanny who allows me to be a working person. The great challenge for me is to be all things to all people; I want to be a great mother, and I want to feel good when I'm at work. But it is hard." — Sarah Jessica Parker regrets filming Sex And The City Part Deux. [NY Daily News via Glamour]

• Instead of appearing at the Grammy Awards, Chris Brown - seen at left with Rihanna at a pre-Grammy party - was arrested for a felony battery.

He surrendered to the LAPD and then posted $50,000 bail. An "unidentified woman" who appeared to have been beaten identified Brown as her attacker. Rihanna did not show up at the Grammys either. [EW, Rolling Stone, People,TMZ]

• Sources say Rihanna's face is "slightly bruised." [ET]
• This report says Rihanna had "multiple bruises" and was in the hospital but has been released. [NY Daily News]
• Cops say that Chris Brown and "the woman" they are not identifying were arguing inside a vehicle after midnight on Saturday; they received a 911 call and when they arrived, they noticed that the woman had "visible injuries." Brown had left the scene by the time police arrived. [TMZ]
• The case is a felony and not a misdemeanor because of the visible injuries. [People]
• The argument took place in a rented Lamborghini after a pre-Grammy gala at the Beverly Hilton. [Fox 411]
• Rapper David Banner says: "One situation doesn't define a man and I really want American to stop doing that to people. As humans, none of us is perfect." Um, yeah, but. You don't hit women. [Rolling Stone]
• Apparently in 2007, Chris Brown told Giant magazine: "[My stepfather] used to hit my mom. He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, 'I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day…' I hate him to this day." A family history of domestic violence? [Perez]
• Chris Brown's court date is March 5. [USA Today]
• Commenters on the EW boards claim Chris Brown hit Rihanna because he found out she gave him genital herpes, which she got from a backup dancer. Where are they getting their info? [EW]
• Oh, wait. From here. [All Hip-Hop]
• This blogger adds, "Why is all this foolishness taking place during Black History Month?" [All Hip-Hop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna is looking for a bone marrow donor for a 5-year-old girl. [UPI]
• Uh-oh: Peaches Geldof and husband of six months, Max Drummey, have separated! To her credit, Peaches did say she didn't expect it to last forever. But maybe at least a year? [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse is heading back to the UK after a long vacation in the Caribbean. She plans to present her lawyers with a "secret ex-file," detailing Blake Incarcerated's bad behavior. Ugly divorce countdown starts now! [News Of The World]
• Is there tension in the Beckham marriage as Victoria heads to New York fashion week alone? She reportedly wants to stay in the U.S.: "She feels out of place in Milan and gets frustrated by not being able to understand what they are saying." [Daily Mail]
• Whitney Houston sang at Clive Davis's pre-Grammy bash and sounded "incredible," E!'s Marc Malkin says. "Was she back to the days when she was in top high-note-hitting form? No, but close." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Usher had to cancel his performance at a pre-Grammy party due to a "serious injury in the family" — apparently his wife Tameka experienced complications from plastic surgery in Brazil. Yikes! [TMZ, People]
• A neurosurgeon from LA's Cedars-Sinai Medical Center is headed to South America to check on Usher's wife. [Access Hollywood]
• Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday party took place Saturday night at her house in Beverly Hills. Aniston and John Mayer "danced and huddled close all night," and guests included Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Crow, David Arquette and wife Courteney Cox Arquette, Tobey Maguire and wife Jen Meyer, Laura Dern, Kevin Nealon, and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Aniston has some kind of pull in Hollywood: the police kicked all the paparazzi out of the neighborhood! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lindsay Lohan was seen hanging out at a table behind Sam Ronson's DJ booth; while Sam worked, LL was drinking from bottles stashed under the table. LL would flirt with guys but bitch out any woman who came close. This report notes that LL looked "grossly skinny." [E!]
• Director McG says of Christian Bale's "blowup": "The film set is a passionate place, and it happens… It was just one of those moments. I think I can speak on all of our behalf that we've all gotten a little fired up. And if anybody would take that moment and take it out of context, it would seem very, very strange." [People]
• Beyoncé runs around two and-a-half miles every day and is "eating veg and drinking water" because her stylists — and her mom tell her when she's gained weight. As for the diet: "It's boring." [Mirror]
• Here's video of the Jessica Simpson performance in which "every song was a disaster" and she mumbled through the lyrics and talked through tears, if you really want to watch that kind of thing. [ONTD via TMZ]
• Since she is producing a teen TV show for Fox and has a movie in the works, Jennifer Lopez is "putting music on the back burner," which may be for the best. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Do we really believe that Leonardo DiCaprio wants girlfriend Bar Refaeli to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue because it will "piss off" Gisele Bundchen? [Page Six]
• Prince Harry and Paris Hilton were supposed to have a date? And the Prince canceled at the last minute? Did he come to his senses? Should we feel sorry for Paris? [Daily Mail]
• Eddie Murphy has been ordered to pay £35,000 a month until his daughter — whose mother is Mel B. — turns 18. That's a total of about £7million. Another Shrek sequel? Anyone? [Daily Mail]
• What's this? Emma Watson is nervous about kissing Rupert Grint, aka Ron Weasley, on screen? [Telegraph]
• Dave Grohl wore a white knot on the red carpet at the Grammys to show his support for gay marriage and marriage equality. Think we'll see 'em at the Oscars? [E!]
• A man was killed on Justin Timberlake's golf course in Tennessee Saturday in a freak accident involving a tree. [TMZ]
• Minutes into his act at a UK nightclub, rapper Coolio was pelted by plastic bottles and ice cubes. Coolio jumped into the crowd to fight some dudes but was dragged way by security. Not exactly a gangster's paradise… [The Sun]
• The new Dancing With The Stars cast has been revealed! Jewel and her husband, rodeo star Ty Murray, will compete against each other. The youngest contestant ever, 17-year-old Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson will dance; and so will Julianne Hough and boyfriend Chuck Wicks; Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff; Belinda Carlisle; Denise Richards, former NFL star Lawrence Taylor; Lil' Kim; Jackass star Steve-O; Apple computer co-founder Steve Wozniak; actors David Alan Grier and Gilles Marini; and Access Hollywood co-host Nancy O'Dell. [People]
• Remember when Natalie Portman rapped on Saturday Night Live? Uncensored audio can be found here [ONTD]
• Hugh Grant and ex Jemima Khan are so, so back on. [Telegraph]
• Welcome Charlie Axel into the world; he's the first son for Tiger Woods and wife Elin. [AP]
• A reporter calls The International, Tom Tykwer's film starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts, a "strange and beautifully made thriller." Tykwer is best known for his 1998 flick, Run Lola Run. [Salon]
• Robbie Williams has been visiting weird websites, stuff like government paranoia and UFOs. [Daily Mail]
• Original Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson and ice skating champ Lloyd Eisler got married on Saturday. This story notes that Swanson "lost 45 lbs. in time for her wedding with the help of The Medifast Diet and regular exercise, including martial arts, skipping rope and treadmill work." [People]
• A tell-all book about Sean "Diddy Combs" by a former aspiring rapper is called Dancing With the Devil: How Puff Burned the Bad Boys of Hip-Hop. It's self-published, naturally. [Page Six]
• Are you ready for a Tricky comeback? [Independent]
• "Straying Alive! Married Bee Gee Robin Gibb has baby with live-in housekeeper 26 years his junior." [Daily Mail]
• "I want to keep learning, I have no ego. I'm blessed to be on one of the great shows. I made a statement last year that I was going to aggressively pursue my acting career… I want to do some television." - Sean "Diddy Combs on his CSI: Miami gig. [The Star]
• Paradise Beach had improbable plot-lines. We were always in bikinis, even at funerals. And someone who was my brother ended up being my father and I pulled him – it was just insane." — Isla Fisher on her soap opera past, to GQ. [Daily Express]
• "Besides being in love with him, I'm his biggest fan. I think my fiancé is hilarious." — Isla Fisher on Sacha Baron Cohen. [Mirror]
• "I've decided I am going to start loving my backside because I don't know anyone who does that. And for my daughter, I want to be able to say to her, 'I love this.' [Young women] look at all of us, myself included, on these magazine covers and they think, 'My God, how does she get skin like that?' And I can tell you, I have so many blemishes under this make-up that have been so fabulously covered, I promise you. I did realise a few years ago that no one actually talks about this retouching thing. It's like a secret or something. I'm damned if it's going to be a secret any more. I really want these young women to know we don't look like this." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "I think I definitely want to go to college… I could always study drama. I think that would be really cool. There's always more you can learn. If I wanted to do something totally different, I love history." — Dakota Fanning. [Newsweek]
• "Sir Anthony Hopkins is in the recording studio with Amy Winehouse, and we are hoping that next week Sir Brad and all the Pitt family will be performing The Sound of Music at the Brit awards." — Mick Jagger, making jokes at the Baftas. [People]
• "It's so invasive. It's not like they're standing 100 feet away. They're in your face, not letting you walk, standing in the way when you're driving. It becomes a situation and it doesn't need to be." — Jessica Alba on the paparazzi. [The Star]
• "I got into a bit of hot water for what I said about Amy Winehouse and I still say it again. I'm an ex-drug addict and I don't take that kind of stuff lightly. It stayed in my body for 25 years and it could still happen to this young woman or other addicts who are fooling around with drugs, especially needles. I would hope that what happened to me does not happen to her." — Natalie Cole, who has Hepatitis C and is waiting for a kidney transplant, on Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• "Every time I go for an ultra scan the baby is like in crazy positions with legs star-shaped and stuff. It's not like in a baby position at all. I feel like he is used to base lines and beats and receptive to that, which is cute." — M.I.A. [Mirror]
• "I grew up in Nashville, Tennessee, and my parents taught me to respect my elders. We'd say things like 'yes, ma'am' and 'no, sir' to adults. But kids in Los Angeles don't do that. I've drawn the line at my children calling adults by their first names. I tell them they can call people 'Miss Shannon' or 'Miss Heather' but that using only the first name is too familiar. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned." — Reese Witherspoon. [Reader's Digest]
• "It's crazy for people to care about him having a bong hit. Nothing's the matter with it - I want to have a bong hit right now. Really, the message Phelps is giving is that you can smoke weed and still be at the top of your game." — Bill Maher. [Gatecrasher]
• "My split with Brad was the hardest thing I ever went through. But it made me strong, superhuman. Now I'm turning 40 and I'm very excited. When they say youth is wasted on the young, it's so true.'" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• People have called me a sex symbol in the past, but it's very much an effort […] It's been important for me to just do something that's extreme — that really separates me from that public Joaquin Phoenix persona, whatever the fuck that is. Or maybe I'm just lazy." — Joaquin Phoenix on his new, grizzy, bearded "look." [The Sun]

• The 51st Annual Grammy Awards begin at 8pm tonight. Among those set to perform: Kanye West, Jennifer Hudson, Justin Timberlake, M.I.A, Radiohead, u2, and many more. And the show is "only" 3.5 hours long. [MTV]

• Whitney Houston looked "glamorous" and "triumphant" as she performed at a pre-Grammy party hosted by Clive Davis. "She was on it, she was happy - she's back," said Jamie Foxx, who was in attendance, "Everybody else watch out."[Yahoo]
• Meanwhile, Usher had to cancel his appearance at the same party, due to a "serious illness in the family." Though reports are unconfirmed, Access Hollywood is reporting that his wife, Tameka Foster, has suffered complications from cosmetic surgery. Good thoughts to Usher and his family! [Yahoo]
• In happier news, Blink 182 fans have a reason the celebrate: the band is reportedly getting back together to record a new album, and will be reuniting as presenters at tonight's Grammy ceremony. [MTV]
• Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisler, who met on the set of Skating With Celebrities, were married on Saturday. "We're excited about the future," Eisler says, "Kristy is getting back into acting and I'm building my coaching career. Hopefully everything will work out." [People]
• "‘I like looking nice, but I always put comfort over fashion. I don't find thin girls attractive; be happy and healthy. I've never had a problem with the way I look. I'd rather have lunch with my friends than go to a gym."-Adele [DailyMail]
• Grey's Anatomy star Chyler Leigh claims she's planning on naming her baby "Aniston." This is one time when being Team Jolie is probably the better option, no?[USMagazine]
• Kate Moss is reportedly trying to kick her smoking habit: "Kate's worried about getting wrinkle lines and she's so determined to kick the habit she has banned all her friends from smoking anywhere near her," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Uh oh- is GOOP a total rip off? Dragonfly Wellness founder Mary Kate Hearon says yes. On her Facebook page, Hearon claims that she had a friend send Gwyneth her newsletter, The Weekly Beet, but when the two met, Paltrow was "was sooooooo nasty to me, it was scandalous! [Husband] Chris [Martin], the utmost gentleman, stood to shake my hand, but she smirked and was silent when I asked how her dinner was . . . I never thought in a million years she'd . . . create her own site very similar to The Weekly Beet . . . [Goop has] the therapies I've tried, the foods I love, the detoxes that work! A lot of the same stuff!"" Paltrow's reps deny the allegations. [PageSix]
• "Being in love makes you happy. Definitely. I deeply, deeply care about John [Mayer]. We talk, we adore one another. And that's where it is. Do I want to have children? I do, and I will. The women who inspire me are the ones who have families and children. Why would I want to limit myself? I want to have it all."-Jennifer Aniston [ShowbizSpy]
• Peaches Geldof and her husband, Max Drummey, have split after 6 months of marriage. [TheSun]
• What's the first thing Drew Barrymore does after a breakup? "Head straight for the carbs. Macaroni and cheese. Kraft. Deluxe. The kind with the cheese you squeeze out of a bag that takes at least a month to pass through your body."[JustJared]
• Artist Shepard Fairey, perhaps best known for his iconic Obama campaign posters, was arrested in Boston for "tagging property." [MSNBC]
• After 15 months in court, Eddie Murphy has agreed to pay roughly 10 million dollars in child support to "Scary Spice" Mel B, as well as visit the daughter he now accepts as his own, Angel Iris. [DailyMail]
• Dave Grohl has come out in support of gay marriage: "Anybody know about whiteknot.org?" Grohl asked on the red carpet of Friday's MusiCares benefit, "You know what that's about? It's I believe in love and I believe in equality and I believe in marriage equality."[E!]
• Director McG has spoken up about the Christian Bale trainwreck: "The film set is a passionate place, and it happens," McG says, "There was no version of, 'Oh, Christian is going to whip his ass.' It was just sort of a blowup. We let it run its course, and it did. You obviously only get to hear the explicit parts." [People]
• Apparently Dodai didn't suffer alone at the movies on Friday: He's Just Not That Into You led the Friday box office with 10.6 million dollars. [EW]
• "(Young women) look at all of us, myself included, on these magazine covers and they think, "My God, how does she get skin like that?" And I can tell you, I have so many blemishes under this make-up that have been so fabulously covered, I promise you. I did realise a few years ago that no one actually talks about this retouching thing. It's like a secret or something. I'm damned if it's going to be a secret any more. I really want these young women to know we don't look like this."-Kate Winslet [DailyMail]
• Angelina Jolie says that raising her kids is so time-consuming that she barely has time to get dressed. "We are having such a wonderful time raising our children together and there is a lot of love in our home. I feel very lucky," Jolie says, though the craziness of raising so many kids means she's "been home for the last year so I spend a lot of time just watching TV and I tend to be in pajamas." That's what I'm doing RIGHT NOW! Except for the kids part. But still, you guys. Clearly I am just like Angelina Jolie. I wonder if she eats Eggo waffles for breakfast, too? [ShowbizSpy]

• Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler at L.A.'s Tower Bar — days after eating there with John Mayer. Don't hate the player, hate the game. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse was in the hospital last night, being checked out for a chest infection. Is it related to the emphysema she was diagnosed with in June? [Mirror]
• Amy missed an appointment to talk to cops about punching a fan; it will be rescheduled. [TMZ]
• Although this report says Amy could get arrested, and that she's doing so many drugs she's totally out of it. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister, Julia Balfour, is begging for her son to be returned safely. He disappeared after a shooting which killed her mother and brother. At a news conference on Saturday night, she said: "All I ask, I don't care who you are, just let my baby go, please. I just want my son." [CNN]

• Jennifer Hudson showed up to officially identify the bodies of her mother and brother yesterday. [TMZ]
• Cops say there was "trouble in the marriage" between the suspect, William Balfour, and his wife, Julia. William is in police custody. [TMZ]
• Barack Obama, who also calls Chicago his hometown, says he and Michelle are "heartbroken" to hear of Jennifer Hudson's tragedy and offer "thoughts and prayers." [People]
• America's Most Wanted plans to help in the search for Jennifer Hudson's nephew. [ET]
• Jennifer Hudson has offered a $100,000 reward for her nephew's safe return. [AP]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard allegedly punched composed Tex Allen during a rehearsal for Cat On A Hot Tin Roof in January. Allen is suing for $5 million. [UPI]
• A source says Lindsay Lohan is not planning on coming out of the closet, because she's not a lesbian: She still loves men. "She has been telling everyone over and over that she’s still into guys," a "friend" says. "She keeps saying if anything went wrong with Sam she would date a guy next. She even flirts with guys when they go out." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Hudson had a Halloween party! Courteney Cox came as a witch. David Arquette was a wizard. Cindy Crawford was Amy Winehouse. Isla Fisher was a princess; Sacha Baron Cohen was a cow. Click for pictures! [Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus is living with her boyfriend Justin Gaston, don't you know? A source says: "Billy Ray wasn't born yesterday. He figures the safest path to take is to keep Miley and Justin on a short leash — and under the same roof." Just imagine all the sneaking around going on. [UPI]
• Mama mia: Victoria Beckham's been offered millions to host a documentary about husband David moving to AC Milan. Remember the one she did about moving to L.A.? It would be similar, but "more polished." [Mirror]
• David Beckham was speeding around Hollywood in his Porsche and got stopped by the cops. He flashed a smile and got a talking to instead of a ticket. [The Sun]
• David Beckham says even though he's being loaned to AC Milan, he will stay with his L.A. team. "At the end of the day, my commitment is still to the Galaxy and that's not changed," he explains. "But I've been given a chance to join up with one of the biggest clubs in the world, so I'm going to do that." [AP]
• Madonna: In "full meltdown mode"? [MSNBC]
• Madonna plans to gather all of the items she received from Guy Ritchie: photos, gifts and letters — and scan them before burying them. Yeah, she's gong to bury them. In the ground. "It will be a little bit like a funeral as she lays that part of her life to rest," a source spills. [NY Post]
• The latest is that Madonna and Guy are fighting over the household staff, with each demanding that the employees testify against the other. [Daily Mail]
• Guy will visit the kids next month but there's "no way" Madonna will be there when they see each other. [Mirror]
• Did Guy try to turn Madonna into an English housewife? [Mirror]
• Did Guy And Madonna's marriage end when she started scheduling sex around her gym workouts? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna and the kids were seen leaving the Kabbalah center in New York over the weekend. Lourdes was wearing a Barack Obama T-shirt. [The Sun]
• Yay, Amy Poehler had a baby boy named Archie Arnett! Boo, Amy won't be on SNL ever again. [AP]
• Slash: Working on a "star-studded" solo album! [Reuters]
• Jerry Lewis was on Australian TV when a reporter asked him about cricket. "Oh, cricket? It's a fag game. What are you, nuts?" Lewis replied. It's been a year since he used the same gay slur on his telethon. What's his problem? [AP]
• Check out this picture of Beyoncé as Sasha Fierce: Flexible! [Concrete Loop]
• Zack And Miri Make A Porno: Not playing in Salt Lake City, Utah. Too "raunchy." But! You can totally see Saw V there. [Page Six]
• Thieves hit the set of Prison Break! Cash, credit cards, documents and a computer were stolen from trailers. The robbers cleaned out $25,000 from Jodi Lyn O’Keefe's checking account and charged $14,000 on her credit cards, right on the heels of her finding out she's being written out of the show. The thieves hit Dom Purcell's credit cards as well. [The Sun]
• Celebs who live in Greenwich Village, New York, are being targeted by "trash-trollers." Someone's going through the garbage and discovering secrets in the trashcans of people like Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, Liv Tyler, Charlie Rose and Graydon Carter. It's mostly prescription receipts. [Page Six]
• Elle Macpherson's new man is a convicted drug trafficker. He's reformed, though. [Daily Mail]
• OMG: Sienna MIller and Jude Law almost ran into each other in London. [Mirror]
• A new book alleges that Heath Ledger was bipolar. [Mirror]
• Look for Michelle Obama to be hanging out with Jay Leno on The Tonight Show this evening! [USA Today]
• John Malkovich, who has lived in France for 10 years, is in the midst of a tax dispute. He's refusing to hand over the cash and there will be a trial. [Daily Express]
• Even though she was seen cuddling up with a hot hot model, Kylie Minogue says she does not have a man. She's free and single! [The Sun]
• Prince Harry wants to start the full Army Air Corps program and be a helicopter pilot. The failure rate is high, but Harry has passed an initial aptitude test. Fly, Harry, fly. [BBC News]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are holding crisis talks about the future of their marriage. Stay tuned. [Mirror]
• Mariah Carey will appear on UK show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Alvin and the Chipmunks: releasing an album of covers for theur 50th anniversary. Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll," Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." Migraine meds not included. [Reuters]
• Phil Spector talks shit about the Beatles. [Mirror]
• A blonde teenager who was "wooed and bedded" by James Blunt — and then caught the singer in bed with another woman — says: "I just want people to know exactly what type of person he is. Everything he says in his songs is bullshit." [News.com.au]
• Peter Cook is not giving teen mistress Diana Bianchi any cash, because her lawyers badmouthed him? [TMZ]
• Dave Grohl and wife: Expecting baby #2. [People]
• Former Grateful Dead keyboardist, Mel Saunders, has died. Harold "Hal" Kant, the lawyer who represented the Grateful Dead for more than 30 years, has also died. [AP, UPI]
• No man has won more Emmys for performance than actor and social activist Ed Asner, but there has never been a biography of his life — and there probably never will be. [Yahoo News]
• The title track from Axl Rose's Chinese Democracy was actually released to radio last week. The album will be released on November 24. It's been 17 years since a Guns N'Roses album came out. [Guardian]
• These celebrity trading cards, PopCardz, sound lame. [AP]
• "I just like sitting and watching people. I love seeing people having fun. Everyone over in L.A. is too cool for it. That’s the problem." — from "A Night Out With Lukas Haas." [NY Times]
• "I had the fat removed from under my chin. That's why I wear the goatee because it covers the scar. If I went for laser treatment, I could get rid of it, but I thought, fuck it, I'll wear a goatee. My nose, that was straightened. Then, with the eyes, they took the heaviness out of the lids." — Tom Jones, detailing his plastic surgery. [Mirror]
• "I hadn't heard that Joe the Plumber dropped my name. I'm honored to be in the little passion play, to be an extra." — Matt Damon. [USA Today]
• "A legend is someone who has died… I used to drag people up on stage, whip them and pretend to fuck them in the rear. You can’t get more intimidating than that. But I’m honest about it, so the men who go out with me know I’m going to be more macho than them. My husband used to shout at my mother, 'What is wrong with your daughter? I'm married to a man.' I'm not like a normal woman, that’s for sure." — Grace Jones. [Times of London]
• "Oh, there's no squabble [between me and Tina Turner]. The people at USA Today just grossly exaggerated that I was fuming. That's ludicrous. I've always appreciated Ms. Turner and she just kind of overstepped herself and chose to speak on my ego when I really thought she was being more descriptive of herself. Mmm-hmm. Particularly in view of the fact that she doesn't even know me." — Aretha Franklin. [Washington Post]
• "I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha [Ronson]. I’m a Christian. I should not pass judgment on anyone. In the past, I felt that the best way to get to [Lindsay] was to speak out publicly, and it was the wrong choice. Family matters should be kept private. I’ve learned that now." — Michael Lohan. [NY Magazine]
• "I put on a significant amount for Body Of Lies and I really enjoyed that. When I got that phone call it was just one of those wonderful moments where you turn to your wife and say, 'Baby I'm really sorry but I gotta eat.' I loved it." — Russell Crowe. [Daily Express]
• "It's not all about singing. Being the Queen is not all about singing and being a diva is not all about singing. It has much to do with your service to people. And your social contributions to your community and your civic contributions as well. I contribute to the food banks in Detroit, and the churches. And that kind of thing." — Aretha Franklin. [Washington Post]

[Beverly Hills, August 21. Image via Flynet]

• Just so we're clear: Britney's former bodyguard is prepared to testify on issues of drug use and safety issues regarding the children. [Reuters]
  
• In addition, Britney's lawyer and manager quit. [Page Six]
  
• And sources say Britney will temporarily lose custody of the kids. [Fox News]
  
• Rosie O'Donnell "gracefully declined" Oprah's offer to come talk about her book on Oprah's show, will do an interview with Diane Sawyer instead. [Page Six]
  
• Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood were seen at LAX airport — "She was really weighed down with carry-on luggage," said a tipster, "while he breezed right through security carrying nothing." [Page Six]
  
• Is Michael Jackson: holed up in a fancy hotel in New York, doing a photo shoot for Italian Vogue and needing 3 hours to get his wig perfect? [Page Six]

• Jennifer Lopez threw a surprise birthday party for her husband, Marc Anthony, that involved getting all of his friends on a yacht and having it pull up in front of the restaurant where they were having dinner. You know, something low-key. [Page Six]
• On the set of Saturday Night Live, Tracy Morgan warned Jimmy Fallon not to laugh during his sketches. "That's taking all the attention off of everybody else and putting it on you, like, 'Oh, look at me, I'm the cute one.'" [Page Six]
• Kanye West: Burning bridges at MTV? [Gatecrasher]
• Naomi Campbell told the Blacks in Fashion panel that she had never been on the cover of British Vogue, but a spokesperson notes that when you go to the cover archive you'll see she has been on the cover eight times. Sigh. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Want to stalk Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Hang at the Lycée Français. "They are at school early to pick [Maddox] up at the end of the day, and they always drop him off just a few minutes before the school day starts," says an insider. [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
• Brad Pitt says he and Angelina "made a 9-foot-wide bed" to accommodate their expanding family. "One more and we'll have to go to 11 feet." [People]
• Blind item! "Which older half of a hot new Hollywood couple comes with the reputation of having hit his celebrity former girlfriend?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Is something going on between Heroes costars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia? She's 18, he's 30. [Rush & Molloy]
• Paris Hilton stoned? What else is new? [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• Mary-Louise Parker adopted a baby girl from Africa. [People]
• The Hills star Heidi Montag celebrated her 21st birthday at LAX nightclub in Las Vegas. Boyfriend Spencer Pratt was there and Heidi performed her new single. Fun. [E!]
• Courtney Love says, "I'm really just a Beverly Hills soccer mom who wants to be a real estate mogul and design clothes." Also: "It will be another two years before my memory is back to normal" because of heavy drug abuse. [USA Today]
• The Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl on Paris Hilton: "She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." [The Sun]
• The famous Versace dress that Elizabeth Hurley wore to the 1994 premiere of Four Weddings And A Funeral is for sale at Harrods in London. [The Sun]
• Tate Donovan, who played Jimmy Cooper on The O.C. says the young stars of the show were brats, difficult to work with and didn't know how good they had it. "I think they all wanted movie careers and did not want to be on a television show. All four of them were, like, 'This show is ruining my career.'" [The Sun]