• Though "sources" recently claimed Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal had broken up, an insider now says, "Jake is planning to pop the question over the holidays and couldn't be more excited."

The source continues, "Her children love him, his family loves her and now it's time to make it official... Reese is a traditional sort of lady, which is one of the many things Jake adores about her, and Christmas is her favorite holiday." [Popeater]

• Break out the champagne: A Maryland Judge granted TLC's request for a preliminary injunction against Jon Gosselin this afternoon, so Jon must stop making media appearances that violate his contract with the network. Jon skipped the hearing and his lawyers didn't present any evidence. A trial is scheduled for April 19. [AP]
• Here's what Jon missed: TLC's lawyer said by the end of Jon and Kate Plus 8, the network was paying the family $22,500 per episode, not $75,000 as Jon has claimed. The network's reps also offered a run down of every embarrassing thing Jon did in the past few months that "made the show look bad," explaining, "photos of Jon Gosselin with scores of bikini-clad women was inconsistent with our image brand of our show." [Radar Online]
• In other news, sources say the Gosselin kids no longer believe in Santa. [Us]
• Rachel Uchitel's friend Ashley Sampson was the first person to give an on-the-record interview about Tiger Woods cheating. Rachel tried to cover up their affair by saying she barely knew Ashley and calling her a drug abuser, and now she may sue Rachel for defamation. "Ashley told the truth and Rachel trashed her and lied," said a source. "That made Ashley furious." [Radar Online]
• It appears Rachel Uchitel is moving. She was spotted lugging suitcases and picking up a ton of dog food. [TMZ]
• Jamie Jungers, another woman linked to Tiger Woods, will tell her story on Today, then sell it to a magazine. There's a rumor going around that Tiger paid for her liposuction, but her rep denies it. [Radar Online]
• In an interview with Extra, Jaimee Grubbs said she's "deeply sorry" for having an affair with Tiger Woods. "I couldn't describe how remorseful that I am to have hurt her family and her emotionally... [but] if it wasn't me, it was going to be other girls. I did care about him. I didn't do it for superficial reasons. I didn't do it to purposely hurt [Elin]," said Grubbs. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' mom Kultida Woods flew from L.A. to Atlanta today. [Radar Online]
• Poor Tiger: The scandal has forced him to cover up the name on his yacht. [Radar Online]
• If you're keeping track, the following stars still support Tiger Woods: Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and Wylef Jean. Diddy says: "Ye without sin cast the 1st stone!!!! Put down your rocks sinners!!!!! Tiger keep your head up! God bless your fam Black man!" [Us]
• You can start holding your breath: Kourtney Kardashian's baby is expected "any minute," according to Khloe Kardashian. [Radar Online]
• The mother of Lamar Odom's two children ripped apart a recent story from Life & Style about Khloe Kardashian bonding with the kids. "My daughter met Khloe for about 10-15 minutes... I don't think a 15 minute meet and greet with a child can be defined as a bonding experience for anyone," said Liza Morales. Though the article claimed Khloe hadn't met Lamar Jr. because he was "too young to travel," Morales says, "The truth is my 8-year-old son told me he didn't want to meet her at that time." [Radar Online]
• Gisele Bunchen's mom and aunt visited her and Tom Brady in Boston for the birth of their child. Her aunt says: "He's a beautiful, healthy boy." Gisele's dad, who stayed in Brazil, says, "We don't know the name yet. I don't have all the details. But obviously when someone is born into the family, it makes us all happy." [People]
• At a press conference today Tom Brady called his son's birth "a wonderful experience in my life," and said they still haven't picked out a name. [Us]
• Shawne Merriman is suing Tila Tequila because he says she lied about claims that he "choked and attacked" her. But rather than suing her for defamation, he's going after her for intentional interference with contract and unfair competition because he says she was trying to ruin his career. [TMZ]
• Courtenay Semel thinks Tila Tequila's engagement to Casey Johnson is a stunt. "We're talking about the biggest fame whore in LA, and the other one — I think she's just lost her mind!" said Semel. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Taylor Swift straightened her hair. [People]
• Richard Heene, Mark Sanford, Jon Gosselin and Glenn Beck made FAIL Blog's list of 2009's biggest losers, and Imma let them finish, but KANYE WEST WAS VOTED THE TOP FAIL PERSON OF THE YEAR! [People]
• Alicia Keys says of Beyonce, who recorded a duet with Keys for her new album, "Her and I together was like reunited sisters - most people get in the studio and don't get a chance to really collaborate, be in one room, we were in one room having a ball." [The Mirror]
• Several bouncers at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club in Atlantic City have been fired after video surfaced of them beating two men in the club's parking lot last month. [TMZ]
• A source says of Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan, "They are getting to know each other... He's a nice guy." [Extra]
• Chris Brown called in to a Seattle radio station to promote his new album, but when the DJ asked about Rihanna, Chris said, "I'm really done talking about the whole situation ... I'm just moving forward." The DJ replied: "Fuck that, did Rihanna throw you under the bus or what?" And Chris' handlers hung up. [TMZ]
• Though there is no official Susan Boyle merchandise, there is an estimated £5 million a year market for Boyle-themed merchandise. [Blackbook Magazine]
• Pamela Anderson is doing a two week stint as the Genie of the Lamp in a London performance of Aladdin, but she cancelled her two premiere performances due to unspecified "issues." [Daily Express]
• Pamela Bach has been charged with DUI for failing a breathalyzer test on November 28. Since she has a prior DUI from earlier this year, she'll do a minimum of five days in jail if convicted. [TMZ]
• Axl Rose missed a soundcheck last night in Taiwan for an upcoming Guns n' Roses concert. It may be because he got into a fight with a paparazzo at LAX that "ended up with a few bloodied participants." [Rolling Stone]
• James Caan's wife Linda Cann is requesting full custody of their two minor children in their divorce. [TMZ]
• In Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" special last night, Lady Gaga was shown kissing a woman, but Adam Lambert kissing a dude at the AMAs was edited out. An ABC rep says: "It was an editorial decision to show very little from the performance and focus on the fresh, new interview with Adam Lambert," though much of the interview was about the kiss. He continued: "The Lady Gaga kiss was used quickly in context of things that upset her father." [TMZ]
• The Lilith Fair is coming back this summer and the lineup includes Mary J. Blige, Sarah McLachlan, and Sheryl Crow. Check out the full list here: [Perez Hilton]
• Amanda Peet announced she and her husband David Benioff are expecting their second child. [Perez Hilton]
• James Van Der Beek is dating model Kimberly Brook. [People]
• Miley Cyrus' song "The Climb," which was featured in Hannah Montana: The Movie was replaced in the Grammy nominations for best song written for a soundtrack by "All Is Love," which Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs wrote for Where The Wild Things Are. Miley's people say the song was submitted in that category by mistake, but the Grammy organization didn't offer any explanation. [People]
• Spike Jonze says he and Dave Eggers didn't speak to any children before writing the screenplay for Where The Wild Things Are. "I think it's interesting because not having children - Dave and I didn't have children at the time - we wrote it from our memories of childhood as opposed to our experiences as a parent observing a kid," he said. [The Independent]
• Jenifer Lewis didn't exactly crash President Obama's inauguration, but she did manage to trick security. Her seat was far from center stage, "So I went over to a Marine, and I told a fib and said that I left my credentials on the plane. And he was standing there at attention with that beautiful uniform on. His head tilted just a little. He didn't want to break formation. And he said, 'Aunt Helen?' He happened to be a 'Fresh Prince' fanatic. And he proceeded to escort me 30 feet from the podium." [CBS News]
• "I've lived with people speculating about my health for decades, and I don't say this with sarcasm, but sadly, I've outlived so many who have prematurely buried me," says Elizabeth Taylor. "There are so many things in the world that are more important than my health watch." [USA Today]
• "I always felt like a very ordinary looking girl, and I found that dressing in a unique way made me feel less ordinary and more glamorous," says Dita Von Teese, adding, "I also used clothes as a way to counteract my extreme shyness when I was younger. I wore a lot of extravagant vintage hats, which can make people somewhat intimidated. I think people will only approach if they have something very, very interesting to say to the girl in the outrageous hat!" [People]
• Meryl Streep drank a martini at a party after a New York screening of It's Complicated "I had to," she said, "to get through this." Also, when someone yelled "It's hard to be Queen," at Meryl, she shot back, "I wouldn't want her problems, believe me!" [Showbiz 411]
• When he was in college, Eli Roth of Inglourious Basterds worked as a sex chat room operator, posing as a woman. "They hired guys because guys know what other guys want to hear," Roth said. "The creepy thing was, because this was in 1991, we only got doctors and scientists because they were the ones using the Internet." [BBC]
• Here are some words of wisdom by 50 Cent from Esquire's "What I've Learned" column: "Always have bail money," "Money is freedom. Money is a private plane. Money is no metal detection," and "Being shot defines how strong I am. It prepares you for the confusion of being an artist." [Esquire]

Where The Wild Things Are, of course, is based on the beloved children's book by Maurice Sendak, which presented a challenge for director Spike Jonze, who also wrote the screenplay with Dave Eggers. (The story only contains 10 sentences.) To turn the book into a full-length feature, Jonze and Eggers don't reinterpret it but expand on it, showing what prompts Max (Max Records) to misbehave and get sent to his room with no supper in the first place. In the film, which opens today, Max gets upset when his teenage sister Claire (Pepita Emmerichs) and her friends destroy his snow fort and his single mother (Catherine Keener) pays more attention to work and her new boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo) than him. Max acts out and then runs away from home in his wolf costume. In his imagination, he travels by boat to an island where he befriends giant creatures who make him their king. The creatures (voiced by James Gandolfini, Paul Dano, Lauren Ambrose, Chris Cooper, and Forest Whitaker) embody Max's various emotional issues from feeling abandoned, bossy, needy, or too wild.

Many critics call the film one of the year's best, both for honoring Sendak's book and accomplishing Jonze's goal of capturing "the feeling of what it is to be 9." Other reviewers aren't as enchanted, saying it is less representative of what children are actually like, and more about adults wistfully longing for their own childhoods. While many parents are worried the "Wild Things" will scare children, the critics say they're more likely to be bored by the creatures' neurotic problems. As for adults, while many scenes of Max's "wild rumpus" provide an "undeniable rush of pleasure," their enjoyment of the film may rest on their willingness to ponder the emotional world of children while listening to an indie rock soundtrack.

Entertainment Weekly

Sendak's great gift to readers, old as well as young, is the seriousness with which he presents even the wildest mayhem, the deepest contradictions in human (and Wild Thing) behavior; the author empathizes with fantasists but has no time for cuteness. In his transcendent movie adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, Spike Jonze not only respects the original text but also honors movie lovers with the same clarity of vision. This is one of the year's best. To paraphrase the Wild Thing named KW, I could eat it up, I love it so.

The Wall Street Journal

The filmmaker, Mr. Jonze, has done only two features until now, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation. Both were strikingly original, marvelously intricate and notably erratic in their plot and structure. They made him an exciting choice to direct this one, though also a risky choice, since the Sendak book is essentially plotless. (Boy misbehaves, boy's unseen mother sends him to bed without supper, boy's room becomes a forest populated by bizarre creatures who make him king and do his bidding until he feels hungry for love and heads back home.) Happily-and improbably, given the potential for outraging whole generations of readers-the risks have been managed by taking greater risks, and some brave ones. This adaptation, by the director and his celebrated co-writer, Dave Eggers, makes Max a somewhat older (maybe 8 or 9) and much angrier child than the original-all that wildness doesn't come from nowhere-as well as a wrenchingly vulnerable child whose adventures are elaborately rooted in his everyday life. His mother is not only seen but powerfully felt: Catherine Keener, an actress of unforced warmth and uncommon humor, has never been so affecting, even when this loving mom vents ample anger in her turn. (Mark Ruffalo appears briefly as her boyfriend.)

The New York Times

Much is left unexplained in Mr. Jonze's adaptation, including Max's melancholia, which hangs over him, his family and his wild things like a gathering storm. But childhood has its secrets, mysteries, small and large terrors. When a hilariously bungling teacher explains, rather too casually, that the sun is going to die, the flash of horror on Max's face indicates that he understands that the sun won't be the only one to go. There are other reasons, perhaps, an absent father, a distracted mother. (And when a frightened Max listens to an argument between Carol and K W, you hear the echoes of parental discord.) But such analysis is for therapy, not art, and one of the film's pleasures is its refusal of banal explanation.

The Washington Post

Viewers expecting a consoling, soft-focus version of an anodyne children's story should be forewarned: Jonze takes the story to the dark and edgy place where devotion slips into aggression, where loneliness and fear are indistinguishable from liberation and desire. This isn't to say that Where the Wild Things Are isn't suitable for children; it's just that it will probably be most enjoyable to children with a working knowledge of Bruno Bettelheim's "The Uses of Enchantment" and psychoanalytic theory.

The A.V. Club

Though little happens, it doesn't much need to. Max gets to know the wild things in ways that simply ring true, and that's story enough. He favors Gandolfini, all but ignores the timid goat-beast voiced by Paul Dano, tries to impress big-sister figure Lauren Ambrose, and bosses around Chris Cooper's bird-man. And in a subtle, daring, but thoroughly effective move, Jonze has Max fearfully avoid the nameless, near-silent bull, who often appears alone and in the distance, unremarked upon. Whether the action is grand and exciting, as when Jonze brings to life a massive fortress made of twigs, or simple and human, as in touching one-on-ones that Max has with Ambrose, Dano, and Gandolfini, it all feels genuine to the actual experience of childhood in ways that children's movies generally don't. Max learns about himself, to be sure, but Jonze never considers making the sort of broad-stroke, "Here's what everybody learned!" gestures that attempt to stand in for actual emotion. Instead, he lets a little kid loose to explore the terrain of his own mind, which turns out to be an amazing place.

USA Today

Eggers has said he and Jonze wanted to avoid depicting Max as so many movie kids are shown: "de-fanged." Max certainly has fangs - and he's not afraid to use them. The uneven pacing and tone are stirring, blending melancholy with boisterous fun. When you think about it, those polarities best capture the most indelible images of anyone's childhood - those which hurt or frighten, and those which thrill... Where the Wild Things Are is a fiercely innovative film with surprising texture and nuance. It captures the joy and exuberance of childhood without shying away from its very real pains and woes.

New York Magazine

Jonze and Eggers's most agreeable innovation is turning Sendak's rather anonymous beasts into complex, conflicted personalities. They sit around quarreling, smashing things, making holes in trees, staring into space, and wishing for a leader. They're like a counterculture commune after all the hippies and their woks have left, after the drugs have stopped working so well. And then comes little Max, who proclaims himself a king to keep them from devouring him. Max Records (I still can't get over that name) has a mop of dark hair and a sweet face, but his Max is petulant and edgy. It's a wonderful performance; you'd never know he was acting opposite nine-foot puppets.

The Chicago Sun-Times

The movie felt long to me, and there were some stretches during which I was less than riveted. Is it possible that there wasn't enough Sendak story to justify a feature-length film? In a way I suppose the book tells a feature-length story just in Sendak's drawings, and Jonze and Eggers have taken those for their inspiration. All the same, the film will play better for older audiences remembering a much-loved book from childhood, and not as well with kids who have been trained on slam-bam action animation.

Reel Views

The only actor with significant screen time is relative newcomer Max Records, whose only previous feature credit is a small part in The Brothers Bloom (he played Stephen as a boy). Records' greatest strength is his incredibly expressive face. He conveys emotions through his expressions; his delivery of dialogue is less certain. It remains to be seen whether his career trajectory will lead him to become the next "big" child actor or whether he'll perform on the periphery until puberty hits. Catherine Keener has a small role as Max's mom, and her confident presence in her few scenes makes us wish Jonze had found a way to expand her screen time. The vocal casting is perfect: James Gandolfini as Carol, Lauren Ambrose as KW, Paul Dano as the goat Alexander; Catherine O'Hara as the perpetually negative Judith; Forest Whitaker as Judith's sadsack companion, Ira; Chris Cooper as Douglas, this film's Big Bird; and Michael Berry Jr. as the taciturn Bull. Only Gandolfini's voice is immediately recognizable; everyone else blends anonymously into their parts, and the Tony Soprano connection serves only to invest Carol with an extra edge.

The Boston Globe

While this much-awaited, long-in-the-works film has more than its share of wild rumpuses, its big, shaggy heart is in what happens after the rumpus dies down: insecurities, misunderstandings, fears. Where the Wild Things Are isn't for little kids so much as it's about them, and parents and tykes expecting the next Shrek or even a seamless work of Pixar genius will be sorely disappointed if not a little freaked out. The movie is a wild thing, and that's not such a bad thing at all.

The Hollywood Reporter

The film does surmount one of its two difficult challenges: Through puppetry and computer animation, the filmmaking teams have successfully put a world of childhood imagination on the screen. Where the film falters is Jonze and novelist Dave Eggers' adaptation, which fails to invest this world with strong emotions. Children might enjoy the goofy monsters and their fights and squabbles, but adults likely are to grow weary of the repetitiveness. In the end, the book probably was too slender to support a 102-minute movie. Without a quest to propel the story, such as Dorothy's journey in The Wizard of Oz, the movie turns into an afternoon-special with an easily digested moral that fails to grab youngsters by the collar and shake them up with an exciting adventure.

Variety

The wild things move around pretty well and interact with Max in a credible way that fully justifies the no doubt difficult decision not to use CGI all the way. All the more ironic, then, that the film's biggest problem is not the look of the creatures but the manner in which they speak. That said, the thesps provide low-key, nuanced readings, with Gandolfini and Lauren Ambrose particularly distinguishing themselves with dialogue that often seems odd coming from the toothsome mouths seen onscreen. Excellent production values stress the relative realness of what's on view compared to the digital worlds of most kidpics these days. The alt-rock tenor of the music scoring is refreshing at first, but the predictability of the music cues proves increasingly wearisome.

The Village Voice

What's best about Jonze's movie is its kinetic feel for physical play-herky-jerky camera as Max and the WTs zip and bounce through the forest-not surprising from a former skateboard punk like Spike. What's weakest is its blandness, the sense memory of a child raised on Sesame Street. The psychic environment is less King Kong's Skull Island than Fred Rogers' neighborhood: Where the Wild Things Aren't. Wild Things isn't overlong, but it is underwhelming. Who is the audience? Children brought to see it might find it a downer-a case of what the New York Times has called "misery for art's sake." Triumph or travesty, this movie is more likely something for Jonze's generational cohorts to love or loathe. (How many suburban garage bands had the name Wild Rumpus?) For me, it seemed like group therapy with the muppets.

The New Yorker

Jonze and Eggers have spoken of their desire to keep the film close to a child's needs, but have they done that? Kids like danger, followed by a release from danger and a return to safety, yet the only danger posed by these creatures is that they will turn Max into someone as messed-up as they are. The filmmakers may have wanted to link Max's anger to the creatures' wounds, but the connection is fuzzy-Max isn't the one who hurt them. I have a vision of eight-year-olds leaving the movie in bewilderment. Why are the creatures so unhappy? That question doesn't return a child to safety or anywhere else. Of one thing I am sure: children will be relieved when Max gets away from this anxious crew.

Slate

When the wild things race through the forest to the sound of a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song or leap atop Max and one another in a great, snuggly pile, there's an undeniable rush of pleasure. (You can get it in its purest form by watching the trailer.) But in between these hits of energy are long swaths of desultory narrative about the relationships among the wild things themselves: Judith is jealous of Carol because of his special closeness to Max. Carol is bummed that K.W. has made friends outside the wild-thing community. Alexander struggles with the self-esteem issues you might expect from a puny, introverted goat. Essentially, the entire middle section could be summed up as follows: Fuzzy guys build a stick fort, sit inside it, and mope. If I avoid taking my 3-and-a-half-year-old daughter to this movie, it won't be because the wild things would scare her. (They might frighten some children, but I live with a miniature adrenaline junkie.) It'll be because their endless therapeutic workshopping would bore her stiff.

The Los Angeles Times

The problem with this cast of characters is not so much their personalities but the way screenwriters Jonze and Eggers have turned them into neurotic adults with dysfunctional relationships. To hear them talk among themselves is to feel like you've stumbled onto a group therapy session involving unfunny refugees from an alternate universe Woody Allen movie. It's not a good feeling. Max does utter the book's signature line, "Let the wild rumpus start," but he spends a lot of his time not really being sure what he's doing. When Jonze told the New York Times Magazine, "Everything we did, all the decisions we made, were to try to capture the feeling of what it is to be 9," he's telling the truth. Unfortunately, in this case, that's not a very interesting place to be.

Salon

That right there is enough to make me urge any filmmaker to stick to his vision. It isn't, unfortunately, enough to make me like his movie. Where the Wild Things Are may be a childlike picture, but it isn't an innocent one. The movie is so loaded with adult ideas about childhood — as opposed to things that might delight or engage an actual child — that it comes off as a calculated, petulant shout, the kind of trick kids play to guilt-trip their parents into paying attention to them. It appears to be a movie made by, and for, members of a generation who feel it's unfair to have to grow up. Jonze isn't channeling the feelings of 9-year-olds so much as he's obsessively fingering his own, like the silky edge of a blanket. "Who cares about the children?" is Jonze's sulky rhetorical question. "What about me?"

• Finally, it's confirmed: Heidi Klum gave birth to a girl, Lou Samuel, on October 9 in L.A. (Her siblings are Johan, 2½ Henry, 5 and Leni, 5.) Seal says:

"From the moment she looked into both of our eyes, it was endless love at first sight. She is beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years." [People, AP]

• Wait, is Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson not with Kristen Stewart? "Girls scream out for Edward, not Robert," the Twilight star sighs. "I still can't get a date." [People]
• Michael Lohan is trying to get Jon Gosselin to join the Celebrity Boxing Federation. "I am in the Celebrity Boxing Federation, so I had to go out to Philadelphia to meet with the chairman of the organization," Lohan says. "They asked me if Jon would fight, so I went up to Pennsylvania to visit Jon." So you're saying they used you to do their dirty work? [Us Magazine]
• "Jon and Kate Gosselin call 'truce' until their scheduled hearing about family's 'economic issues.'" [NY Daily News]
• Jon and Kate are in court this morning! Let the battle of the joint bank account cash begin. [TMZ]
• An ex-boyfriend of Madonna's former trainer, Tracy Anderson — who is also Gwyneth Paltrow's buddy — claims she swindled him out of $1 million and drove him into bankruptcy. The dude, Glynn Barber, says: "She used her female charms to manipulate me to invest $1 million in her company. I was an easy target. She told me she was a Power Ranger. She told me she was in the musical Cats for four years. She said her ex-husband, Eric, played for the Knicks… None of this turned out to be true." He adds: "I made Madonna's fitness equipment for $13,000 and Tracy sold it to her for $26,000. She made a fortune from using Madonna's name." [Page Six]
• Madonna is offering one of her favorite pairs of Christian Dior shoes to a charity supporting Gypsy child education. The "skyscraper" gold heels are autographed by Her Madgesty and will be sold at the Ovidiu Rom annual ball later this month. [AP]
• Penelope Cruz's ring is news, I tell you. News! [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse is in a new relationship. She's been seeing a new guy for just over a month, and a source says, "He's good to her." [Digital Spy]
• Amy Winehouse caused "havoc" and "mayhem" on the set of Strictly Come Dancing according to this story, which seems greatly exaggerated. [The Sun]
• Hey look! Another story about how The Sun makes shit up. This time Lily Allen has accepted substantial undisclosed libel damages after the paper printed an article called "Ranting Lily." [The Star]
• Is Kanye West actually at an ashram in India? He still posts to his blog. Or someone does. [MSNBC Scoop, KanyeUniverseCity]
• File under Signs Of The Apocalypse: Heidi Montag wants to be "Octomom." [NY Daily News]
• Tyra did a promotional photo shoot in New York City for her talk show yesterday. [Gatecrasher]
• Whitney Port waited outside of a club for 30 minutes because the doorman hadn't seen The Hills or The City and wasn't impressed by her. [NY Post]
• That was quick: Paul Anka is now a 50% partner in the publishing rights to Michael Jackson's song "This Is It." [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ]
• Um. Michael Jackson's hair. Up for auction. [Guardian]
• Is Quinnipiac University worried about sending interns to the David Letterman show? [TMZ]
• Boo: Glee won't be part of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, because the parade airs on NBC… and Glee is on Fox. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Matthew Perry will star, co-write and executive produce a new comedy about a self-involved manager of a second-rate sports arena who begins to re-evaluate his life on his 40th birthday. The show is being pitched to networks this week. [Reuters]
• Tilda Swinton is fighting against a planned £1 billion Donald Trump golf resort, which will evict four residents at the Menie estate in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. [Mirror]
• Rio de Janeiro hearts Woody Allen! The city is offering $2 million in subsidies to attract the director's as-yet-untitled next movie. [LA Times]
• I don't understand what is up between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook, but they were having a custody dispute and now they have reached a settlement and are moving on. [ET]
• Right-handed Andy Roddick beat Virgin heir Sam Branson at tennis — playing as a leftie. [Page Six]
• Carly Simon is suing Starbucks for failing to properly promote a CD that she cut for the company last year. She wants between between $5 million and $10 million, which could buy a lotta lattes. [NYPost]
• Do you watch Southland? Of course you don't. Well, it's canceled now. [NY Post]
• "With the gay movement, it's personal. The same religious-right [bleep]holes who took away my civil rights and put me in jail for a year because they don't like what I do for a living have taken away gay rights. I know firsthand how it feels to have your civil rights stripped from you… P.S., lots of lesbians marched, too." — Joe "Girls Gone Wild" Francis, explaining why he joined the gay rights march in D.C. [Page Six]
• "After a week of considering to stop the release of the movie, I decided it fit the character in the film and it should stay in." — Sharon Stone on her leg-crossing scene in Basic Instinct. [NY Post]
• "If it had been my daughter who was barely a teenager - my daughter is 15 - Roman Polanski would be missing ... period. It wouldn't even get to the court case. But, that's me and I wouldn't want anyone else to follow that because you should let the justice system work it out." — Jamie Foxx, to Parade magazine. [MSNBC]
• "The family is fine with it. Who cares about the money? We have enough money. If I cared about the money, I'd be doing a reality show and doing interviews." — Randy Jackson on the distribution of Michael Jackson's estate. [TMZ]
• "I'm still wearing my own clothes, but I can't button my jeans anymore." — pregnant Padma Lakshmi. [WWD]
• "Was I in love? I couldn't really say. I was certainly intellectually curious and I felt emotionally connected. She was a primary school teacher and she was running away from her husband and had her child in tow. I saw her naked most days of the week, running around, putting the kettle on. In some shape or form I was going to get into that bed with her and lose my virginity. Which I did. Three, four, five weeks later she was pregnant." — Malcom McLaren on his years with Vivienne Westwood. [Times Of London]
• "I've made some OK movies. I don't think I've ever had a movie that was, like, a real Chris Rock movie. This is the closest I can get to it, I think. [My daughters] are very girly, so they're in their mother's [Malaak Compton-Rock] closet all the time putting on clothes and putting stuff in their hair, and they do their girlfriends' hair. You know, growing up with women around me and my daughters, it seemed like a rich topic." — Chris Rock on Good Hair. [WWD]
• "Probably the majority of young actors want to make a big impression in television or film straight away. I wish that young people now - and it's not very fashionable - learnt a bit about our fantastic heritage of theatre and the people who've gone before, learnt a bit about the history of the theatre, because it's phenomenal." — Dame Judi Dench. [Telegraph]
• "We didn't set out to make a children's movie, we set out to make a movie about childhood. In the same way that's what Maurice Sendak does: Maurice Sendak doesn't look at himself as a children's book author. He looks at himself as someone who's trying to write about childhood in an honest way. And with him as our producer, but really as our mentor, he guided us and inspired us to stay true to that." — Spike Jonze on Where The Wild Things Are. [The Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Most kids in movies are 'de-fanged.' They have no wildness. What we figured out pretty quickly was that we all clearly remembered what it was like to be a boy, to be a little wild and get into trouble." — Dave Eggers, screenwriter for Where The Wild Things Are. [Telegraph]
• "In plain terms, a child is a complicated creature who can drive you crazy. There's a cruelty to childhood, there's an anger. And I did not want to reduce Max to the trite image of the good little boy that you find in too many books." — Maurice Sendak on Where The Wild Things Are. [AP]

I'm sick of fine presidents and good presidents and mediocre presidents. I'm sick of Rutherford B. Hayes and James Buchanan and Franklin Pierce and Millard Fillmore. We got Barack Obama! Barack Obama, for crying out loud!

MOE: Ok I guess we should start this now. I heard a commentwhore war broke out in the comments last night so uh...thanks bro, for caring enough to defend my glib assertions that West Virginia's margins have something to do with the stuff like how "Two in 10 white West Virginia voters said race was an important factor in their votes. More than 8 in 10 who said it factored in their votes backed Mrs. Clinton, according to exit polls," according to the New York Times
MOE: In other news the someone else on the McCain team has worked to burnish the image of global democracy underminers who are worse than Bush.
MEGAN: Oh, Moe, haven't you learned? There is no racism in this race, it's all just who is a better candidate. Which the 65% of people in West Virginia determined through a thorough analysis of the two candidates' positions on a variety of issues, including health care, the War in Iraq, their economic stimulus plans, their divergent opinions on the gas tax holiday and not even a little bit based on emails saying that he's a Muslim who hates this country and, oh, by the way, belongs to a church that excludes white people so that they can better plot against us.
8:50 AM
MOE: Assuming you saw Pareene's clip re this meme.
MEGAN: Yeah, shit, Alex, dammit, we don't want them back. We already fucking carry Richmond and Hampton Roads and shit, we don't need Charleston and whatever the other towns in the state are called.
MOE: I have gotten to the point where I cannot even have this argument drunk at a bar but some black people too sense a conspiracy afoot in those overwhelming margins. Not just like, "hey, a first black president, cool," but CODE WORDS FROM MALCOLM X
8:55 AM
MEGAN: I feel dirtier having read that, actually
MEGAN: Like, wow, viscerally dislike anyone much based on nothing more than your own personal taste?
MOE: In other news, your Day In Disaster: Burma is getting another storm and China's earthquake is
exposing a widening wealth gap. Because now that the poor are all buried under their crappy communist construction there seem to be a lot fewer people.

Incomes in rural areas, for example, averaged 4,140 yuan a person last year, or about $590 at current exchange rates. That represents an increase of 91% from a decade earlier, not adjusted for inflation. Urban disposable incomes, by comparison, rose by 150% during the same period, to an average of 13,786 yuan last year.

"Terry McAuliffe raised some serious expectations for Hillary's speech on MSNBC.

"You're going to see a great speech tonight from Hillary Clinton. Talked about it on the way down. I saw it. It's going to be a great speech. One of the greatest speeches, Chris, ever given," he said.

"Better than the second inaugural of Lincoln, perhaps," Matthews said after he got off the air.

"Better than stuff in the Bible," said Olbermann.

* Style
* Barack Obama
* Belle and Sebastian
* Gwyneth Paltrow
* The Arcade Fire
* Twee

I confess that I am fascinated by the mechanics of this huge social reconfiguration - in the same sense that I am fascinated by the industrial procedures of a slaughterhouse, or by the strategies that enabled small Confederate armies to win victories for slavery over much larger Union forces...Aside from the outsourcing, offshoring, and firing-at-will that make up the best-known weapons in the corporate arsenal, Mr. Greenhouse reveals how managers extract unpaid work through an array of ingenious tricks, from eliminating bathroom breaks to electronically erasing hours from workers' records.

It is, in other words, a political disaster, with tax cuts, trade agreements, deregulatory measures, and enforcement decisions all finely crafted to benefit one part of society and leave the rest behind. Few of the voters who gave Ronald Reagan his landslide victories, it is fair to say, intended for this to be the outcome. They wanted their country to stand tall again, certainly; they wanted the scary regulators off their backs, maybe; but I can recall no conservative who trumpeted those long-ago elections - or any of the succeeding contests, for that matter - as a referendum on plutocracy.

We've already met Simon Way who is just completely useless really, and now meet Scott Keneally who likes to share the fact that he wets the bed and cries a lot, usually in the pages of Jane Magazine. And he doesn't just share, he shares in a whimsical fashion.

Look at him. Doesn't he scream whimsy? We picture him spending Sunday mornings on a rooftop in Williamsburg, reading Rimbaud in the original French before heading off to a poetry slam on the Lower East Side with his best friend Dave Eggers, before heading home to bash out 1,000 words on how crap he is for Jane, which will one day become the book about how he has issues with his Dad.

Witness:

"I watch Hilary Swank movies over and over. My sniffles, shrieks and snot bubbles are exercises in empathy. So if the day ever comes when I need to euthanize a paraplegic friend, or if my sister ever straps one on, poses as a guy and is shot seven time, I will have a precedent for those emotions."

So you cry. What do you want, a fucking medal?

And quite apart from the fact that this is the kind of twaddle you'd find on a teenage myspace blog, Scott, that whole "women want a man who's not afraid to cry" is something we say when we're fourteen and think we want a man with the soul of a poet. Once we grow up, we realize what we want is a man with a bulging wallet, who could light a fire and slaughter a wild boar with his bare hands for food if we're stranded on a desert island and doesn't go around blubbing his fucking head off at Hilary fucking Swank movies.

We hate to tell you this, Scott, but when you cry, we secretly think you're pathetic.

It won't get you laid. Ok?