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The Book Of Love

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Sugah
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
I totally misread the cover--I thought it said it was written by Alec Baldwin.
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SharonTaint
12/02/08

@Sugah: "Chapter 6: You better be ready to meet with me. Pig. Oh, also, tell your mother I said 'Go fuck yourself.'"
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LadyFabulous
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
I am one of these big earring-ed, pretty dress girls and I'm only cold hearted to those who inflict my wrath. Barry Manilow is on that list for redoing Careless Whisper.
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romasun
12/02/08

@LadyFabulous: I know. I kind of ironically loves me some Barry, but greatest songs of the 80s? Seriously? Barf.

I do love Careless Whisper - and while no one can touch Wham!, Rufus Wainwright and Ben Folds covered it live once, and it was pretty well awesome.
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LadyFabulous
12/02/08

@romasun: I agree. Rufus Wainwright has to really try to make me stop loving him. But really, no one can touch GM and to try and replicate the magic that is Careless Whisper is really just silly.
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Cesybabe or Nirvanah Crane
12/02/08

@romasun: Oh hell yes. I may have melted off my chair when I discovered THAT particular cover.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
Frankly, the 9 year old is far better qualified than Mystery in doling out dating advice.

And also, what 9 year old is going about in big earrings, fancy dresses, and all the jewelry?

When I was 9, I was totally in love with my stirrup pants and Hello Kitty studs. They matched my hot pink glasses.
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
I may have to get this for my just-turned-11 year-old, who thinks the same thing. Girls have chased him since kindergarten, but he thinks the really pretty girls are all too mean to talk to. He likes the cute, smart, sweet ones. That doesn't bother me at all.
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Jamie Sommers
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
"comb your hair and don't wear sweats"

Oh, if only someone had given this book to Plaxico Burress last week....
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LaComtesse
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
I have a feeling even non-diabetics would have to inject themselves with insulin after ingesting this twee, saccharine glurge...
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tudobem
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
I would also like to point out that from what I've seen of Mystery on his VH1 show, once you get beyond his giant-ness, penchant for Criss Angel-esque wardrobe choices, and sidekick named "Matador," his advice is spot-on. I was impressed.
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devilchyld22
12/02/08

@tudobem: I love Mystery.

I just wonder how did he figure me out!?!
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tudobem
12/02/08

@devilchyld22: Seriously. There's really nothing malicious or devious in what he teaches these guys. It's basically just not being afraid of girls and having some confidence in approaching them.
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SarahMC
12/02/08

@tudobem: I think it's devious to approach women as though they are prey one must "catch" with trickery.
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rollergirl76
12/02/08

@tudobem: I think it's great that he teaches confidence, but you have to admit, those opening lines are god-awful.

"What line is this movie from? Nobody puts baby in the corner."

"My friends and I just completed a caper, and we're celebrating like it's Oceans 11."

And yes, I've seen every single episode (dork alert).
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devilchyld22
12/02/08

@rollergirl76: Me too, I even stay up wayyy past my bedtime to watch it.
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Adora Belle Dearheart
12/02/08

@tudobem:

A guy at a bar used a pickup artist-esque line on me the other day.

" I couldn't help but notice how you are playing up your (finger quotes) 'Asian-ness'. You are so Asian!"

I didn't know if I should laugh or punch him in the balls. I compromised by walking away, shaking my head.
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hatepaperdoll
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
Stay away from the pretty ones, huh?

Wait to steal dating advice from a 1960's novelty song, Alec. You can expect my lawsuit representing the estate of Jimmy Soul on your school desk by afternoon recess!
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SarahMC
12/02/08

@hatepaperdoll: It sounds like the kind of advice he'd have gotten from his grandpa or something. I bet he told Alec's sister "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."
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devilchyld22
12/02/08

@SarahMC: hahahahahahah

ok both of these comments cracked me up!
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Dottie Gale
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
Meh. It sounds like it was written by cynical adults looking for an angle to sell another crap dating advice book.

I have no heart, BTW.
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Maulleigh
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
I'm very pretty and I am cold hearted!
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judgingamy
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
This is why I only get dating advice from teen magazines. While Cosmo and Glamour are busy telling you to diet and wrap your self in cellophane to greet your man at the door, Seventeen advises you to smile while wearing bonnebell lipsmackers. I think smiling will work when I'm 35 as well.
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this_charming_one
12/02/08

@judgingnora still hates the new comment setup: This comment inspired me to reapply my watermelon lipsmacker!
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Chicklet
12/02/08

@this_charming_one: Dr. Pepper lipsmacker, for me. Remember when lipsmackers were physically huge? Like the size of a glue stick? Now they're just regular lip-balm size. Le sigh.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/02/08

@Chicklet: They still make the big 'uns!! I didn't know this until very recently when I saw them displayed at CVS in my neighborhood. I got all nostalgic, I had the bubble gum flavored one. Couldn't bring myself to purchase one, though. It might look kinda suspect because I'm a grownup. You know their dimensions, I'm guessing. Therefore I think you know what I mean when I say "suspect."
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rubyinthedust
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
Those bitches with their big earrings and fancy dresses...
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devilchyld22
12/02/08

@rubyinthedust: Sluts.
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sequined
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
Do nine year old girls wear big earrings? And is anyone really pretty at that phase?
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FourInchHeels
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
At first thought this idea is adorable. Now I'm a little concerned that a nine-year-old is concerned enough with this subject to write such a book. What sort of hormonally charged children are we raising that fourth graders know enough to write books on the subject?!
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jigglyball
12/02/08

@FourInchHeels: Eh, I remember spending a fair amount of my time in fourth grade thinking about boys. Specifically one named Franklin. Ah, youth.

My hesitation is on the advice re: girls who wear big earrings: can we have a generation that doesn't see pretty girls and nice girls as mutually exclusive?
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AthertonMerriweather
12/02/08

In reply to The Book Of Love
Does he recommend saving the first kiss for the wedding day?
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