What Are You Doing Here?: Investigating the Men of Essence Festival

Essence magazine is for black women and so is the Essence Music Festival, but the latter attracts both men and women. For years, I’ve wondered what dudes were doing at an event hosting speakers and performers like Iyanla Vanzant, Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kandi Burruss and Mary J. Blige. » 7/06/15 4:30pm Yesterday 4:30pm

Shockingly, 'Looking For a Girlfriend' Dude Seems Like Kind of a Dick

If you’re in New York City, you’ve probably passed a flyer with a picture of a man named Dan Perino proclaiming that he’s “Looking for a Girlfriend.” Did you respond to his advertisement? Well, someone did. Actually, if you believe what he told Jena Friedman, a lot of someones did. » 4/14/15 2:10pm 4/14/15 2:10pm

The Best Time My Bosses Teamed Up to Find Me a Chinese Fiancé

My first date with Cai involved a lot of tongue. Not the fun kind—like, a literal plate of seasoned duck tongues on the table between us. But that wasn't the weirdest part of our date, because I swear duck tongues are delicious. The weirdest part was my coworkers, all gathered together at another table, watching us. » 4/14/15 1:50pm 4/14/15 1:50pm

How Rollerskating Helped Victorian Youths Feel Each Other Up

The Victorian era (1837-1901) was a period of great prudishness and even greater horniness. While huge amounts of pressure were put on courtship, a young, unmarried couple was never allowed alone without a chaperone. These virile youths were frustrated and dying for a premarital fumble. Enter their solution on eight… » 4/08/15 3:45pm 4/08/15 3:45pm

How to Talk To Your New Girlfriend About Your Ex

First and foremost, congratulations on the decision to put your fuck parts together with another person's fuck parts in a more meaningful way than you were putting fuck parts together with others during the abysmal slog through Tinder you've been on since your break-up. Things are probably great: you two have stopped… » 3/27/15 3:17pm 3/27/15 3:17pm

Vintage Bad Dates: The Greatest Lavalife Voicemail I Ever Received

Before Tinder and OkCupid and Match.com, there was a phone-based dating service called Lavalife. Apparently they've hung onto their market share for dear life and have since evolved into a website, but back in 2002 when I was a recent college graduate and intern at a public radio station, they were the dating… » 3/20/15 5:20pm 3/20/15 5:20pm

Mom, I Have Two Boyfriends: How I Discovered I Was Polyamorous at 27

Almost every girl has a movie that breaks her. It's usually something intended for children, like Cinderella. The girl watches it and gets hooked on this idea that if she has an impossibly tiny waist and can talk to birds, eventually she'll stumble upon the man of her dreams. He'll put her in a carriage, and for some… » 3/16/15 12:20pm 3/16/15 12:20pm

This Is What Dating in New York City in 1974 Was Like

In 1974, a dozen single men and a dozen single women talked to the New York Times about their love lives for two articles on dating in the city that never sleeps (but definitely has sex). After the pieces were released, the Times got all the subjects together for drinks, which resulted in third piece about how their… » 3/12/15 5:15pm 3/12/15 5:15pm

How To Hit On Girls In The Club (Or Not)

Let me get this out of the way: I love both going to the club (dancing and music are great!) and dudes (they're so cute!). But dudes absolutely ruin the club. There's a reason ladies often get in for free or cheap: Both dudes and non-dudes are happier when the dude ratio is lower. Just a small sampling of things… » 1/28/15 4:41pm 1/28/15 4:41pm