My hubby runs marathons, has done two ultra marathons (50K). I can't imagine him removing his toenails. He just keeps them super short. And deals with the bruises and blisters like any other runner. Geesh.
And yay for the FGM gal. That bit of news made me smile. Thank you. #cervarix
@wtfox?!: Even better...I read the article and then went and found the pics of somebody having them removed. They take out the nail and then use acid to prevent it from growing back. Wowza! #cervarix
I actually had the pinky nail on my right hand ripped out once (by accident), and it is possibly the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. Do you know how far under your skin your nail actually goes? A long fucking way, let me tell you. #cervarix
@sassyredhead: I actually had this done because I have super thin big toenails - best decision of my life. I am now completely pain free and never have to worry about them growing back. It was initially, during the procedure, very alarming, but after it had healed I am 110%. It looks completely clean and bare now. #cervarix
@wtfox?!: *raises both hands*
It also brought back memories of friend losing toenail after waterskiing incident, which provoked additional wincing and toe-curling. #cervarix
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: Dr. Bowers is awesome, she's been in a bunch of tv shows about transgender surgeries and she's just a fantastic person. #cervarix
@JoStockton: They've been accused of it, not proven---and it's based on the suspicions of somebody who noticed similarities in their stories. Well, guess what? Abusers tend to abuse in the same ways. It works, that's why. What next? A rape victim gets called a liar because she claims the rapist penetrated her, just like some other victim claimed? #cervarix
@Ginmar Rienne: From what it sounds like, the issue isn't that their stories are similar, the issue is that the paperwork and documentation is virtually identical. While a lot of people's stories might be similar, everyone tells their own story in a different way. It sounds like the descriptions were verbatim, which is what tweaked someone.
I'm inclined to believe that the people who work in the field that would be in a position to catch this kind of fraud would be very wary of falsely accusing someone of falsifying claims of abuse.
The reality is that resources for protecting women who are abused are so thin on the ground anyway, and if these women were actually doing this, it's pretty heinous. Especially if they're trading on the idea that no one will challenge their story, because it's not PC to. #cervarix
@Ginmar Rienne: It's not similarities in their stories. It's similarities in the forged documents they used to make their cases. According to the NY Times, a court-issued temporary order of protection, a domestic incident report from the Police Department and a letter from Safe Horizon, an agency that works with domestic violence victims that were included in these women's applications were all forged. Yes, they are innocent until proven guilty, but there was enough evidence to arrest them for forgery.
@Ginmar Rienne: Um, this thread was about the awesome doctor, not the potentially fake victims. While, I feel your point is important, you should have made your very own comment about it, instead of threadjacking.
So much for focusing on the positives in the Leftovers tonight. #cervarix
@Maritsa: I had a boyfriend in college who donated sperm to make money - you go in and fill out a form, then make your deposit. Whereas egg donation requires you to fill out like a 5 page form, get approved, come in to give your full family medical history, have a medical exam, etc. For some reason it's much more rigorous. #cervarix
I have long felt that our society is becoming more isolating and selfish. And now with people like Rosenfeld getting awarded book deals and advice columns, we are making that selfishness an official part of the cultural milieu.
Shouldn't advice columns lift us up? Hold us to a higher standard of living? If I wanted to hear sermons preaching selfishness I would have stayed in the legal profession.
Her attitude is indicative of a much bigger problem. It's not just about friendship. I strongly believe that our society cannot survive as a loose association of self-interested amoralists. Due to decreasing resources combined with increasing populations we need to act collectively. I can't imagine what a world full of Lucinda Rosenfelds would come to. Probably Thunderdome.
I realize that sounds like a vast overstatement. But I really believe it!
This apology makes me feel a little sorry for Lucinda Rosenfeld. there's no excuse for not having a clue what roofies are used for, but this woman obviously has really shitty friends, and doesn't know that many decent people, if she assumes that most of the world wouldn't get out of bed at 4 am to come pick a friend up from the er. The last time I had to go to the er in the middle of the night, for a non life threatening issue, not only did all three of my close friends living in the area offer to come get me whenever, one of my former *students* heard from another professor that I had gone to the er, and called offering to pick me up. Really, Lucinda, the world is not full of selfish assholes, I promise.
I know many of us assume we would jump out of bed after that call. But how many of you would actually, honestly get out of bed and get dressed at 4 a.m. and drive to the hospital to keep your close friend company while she recovered?
@carinamarie: The weird thing is, the way she phrases it is like she thinks she's scoring a point. Especially the "if you're being honest with yourself" dig. The hell?! Does she think we don't have instances at hand to disprove her?
I've done it. Three times, two different countries, and once I wasn't even a close friend, I was a friend of a friend who just happened to have the day off. All you have to think of is how horrible being marooned alone in the hospital for a minor injury can be, never mind something traumatic.
I hope all of the columnist's friends adjust their expectations of her accordingly: if in need, don't call this lady, she's not interested.
Also, it was her "frantic phone call" from the street that really irked me. Your friend has been drugged, wakes up on the street confused and afraid? Even if they weren't drugged but just drunk and dumb, I honestly would get up for that. Hospitals - of course.
@carinamarie: I found her assumption that people WOULDN'T do this so sad. Not only would I do it for a close friend, I'd do it for a not-close friend. Or a friend of a friend. Or a stranger. And not because I'm a saint. Because I'm a human being.
Ugh, her apology makes me so angry. A friend of mine got alcohol poisoning and dehydration of her own damn fault, and you bet your ass I went with her to the ER and stayed overnight, despite drinking myself. She wasn't even a particularly close friend, just a roommate, but she needed *someone.*
Likewise, my best friend in college dropped everything to meet me at the hospital after my rape kit.
This column (Friend or Foe) is very, very disappointing compared to the rest of the contents of Double X and Slate.com. I've read it from the start and not only the advice is bad, you should take the time to read the comments. People constantly tell her they disagree with the "advice" and she actually tries to defend herself. At one point, her explanation was that this column is "tongue-in-cheek". I did not buy it. Either your column has that tone all the time or not, not just for selected answers.
@Little Green Frog (Wise Latina): Here is a link to her responses for the other times she has had to defend herself. [www.doublex.com]
I just read the original post and comments, and boy, I can see why the editors are upset. Her response: "if you don't like it, don't read it" sounded rude.
What kind of an asshole are you, Lucinda Rosenfeld? If a friend of mine was drugged, you can bet your ass I would be there with her as fast as I could, unpleasant overnight hospital vigil be damned. And yes, I am being honest because I have missed work to spend hours in the hospital with a dear friend undergoing a psychiatric episode, sat with my sister in the emergency room, and on and on. And I cannot imagine a scenario that I would not drop everything to be with a friend in need or find someone who could be if I could not.
Also, what the hell are roofies for if not to facilitate sexual assault? What an ignorant, offensive statement.
@Cerridwen: I was blown away too when she said that if she had been assaulted she would have responded differently! How is drugging someone not assault? That apology was useless and it makes sad that this woman is giving any kind of advice at all.
10/22/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
And yay for the FGM gal. That bit of news made me smile. Thank you. #cervarix
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
I actually had the pinky nail on my right hand ripped out once (by accident), and it is possibly the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. Do you know how far under your skin your nail actually goes? A long fucking way, let me tell you. #cervarix
10/21/09
10/21/09
It also brought back memories of friend losing toenail after waterskiing incident, which provoked additional wincing and toe-curling. #cervarix
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
Oh, that is so wonderful, that's a really positive step... they pretended what? So they could WHAT?
Hope... RAGE. Ah leftovers. #cervarix
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
I'm inclined to believe that the people who work in the field that would be in a position to catch this kind of fraud would be very wary of falsely accusing someone of falsifying claims of abuse.
The reality is that resources for protecting women who are abused are so thin on the ground anyway, and if these women were actually doing this, it's pretty heinous. Especially if they're trading on the idea that no one will challenge their story, because it's not PC to. #cervarix
10/21/09
[www.nytimes.com] #cervarix
10/21/09
So much for focusing on the positives in the Leftovers tonight. #cervarix
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/22/09
10/14/09
I have long felt that our society is becoming more isolating and selfish. And now with people like Rosenfeld getting awarded book deals and advice columns, we are making that selfishness an official part of the cultural milieu.
Shouldn't advice columns lift us up? Hold us to a higher standard of living? If I wanted to hear sermons preaching selfishness I would have stayed in the legal profession.
Her attitude is indicative of a much bigger problem. It's not just about friendship. I strongly believe that our society cannot survive as a loose association of self-interested amoralists. Due to decreasing resources combined with increasing populations we need to act collectively. I can't imagine what a world full of Lucinda Rosenfelds would come to. Probably Thunderdome.
I realize that sounds like a vast overstatement. But I really believe it!
10/14/09
10/14/09
I know many of us assume we would jump out of bed after that call. But how many of you would actually, honestly get out of bed and get dressed at 4 a.m. and drive to the hospital to keep your close friend company while she recovered?
show of hands?
10/14/09
I've done it. Three times, two different countries, and once I wasn't even a close friend, I was a friend of a friend who just happened to have the day off. All you have to think of is how horrible being marooned alone in the hospital for a minor injury can be, never mind something traumatic.
I hope all of the columnist's friends adjust their expectations of her accordingly: if in need, don't call this lady, she's not interested.
10/14/09
Also, it was her "frantic phone call" from the street that really irked me. Your friend has been drugged, wakes up on the street confused and afraid? Even if they weren't drugged but just drunk and dumb, I honestly would get up for that. Hospitals - of course.
10/14/09
10/14/09
And anyone who would refuse is a shitty friend, "honestly".
*barring really good reasons, like you're drunk and cannot drive, puking your guts out, or something.
10/14/09
10/15/09
totally, she couldn't have chosen a bigger platform than her own column to broadcast her shortcomings as a friend. #lucindarosenfeld
10/15/09
mention hospitals and drugs and cops, i'm in my car. #lucindarosenfeld
10/14/09
Likewise, my best friend in college dropped everything to meet me at the hospital after my rape kit.
It's human decency.
10/14/09
10/14/09
[www.doublex.com]
I just read the original post and comments, and boy, I can see why the editors are upset. Her response: "if you don't like it, don't read it" sounded rude.
10/14/09
What kind of an asshole are you, Lucinda Rosenfeld? If a friend of mine was drugged, you can bet your ass I would be there with her as fast as I could, unpleasant overnight hospital vigil be damned. And yes, I am being honest because I have missed work to spend hours in the hospital with a dear friend undergoing a psychiatric episode, sat with my sister in the emergency room, and on and on. And I cannot imagine a scenario that I would not drop everything to be with a friend in need or find someone who could be if I could not.
Also, what the hell are roofies for if not to facilitate sexual assault? What an ignorant, offensive statement.
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09
10/14/09