I think what icks me out most about purity rings is, in theory, everyone knows when you get some for the first time. No one needs to know that. If people want to wait, that's fine. But I kind of feel sorry for those two, as everyone is going to be going "Ohh Kevin Jonas is about to become a man!" and that's really gross, frankly.
I really do not understand why so many people are so judgmental about the sex life of the Jonas Brothers.
They don't want to have sex until they get married, so what? Unless they've called those who do have sex before marriage diseased whores, I don't get what the big deal is. If slut shaming is bad, why isn't virgin shaming?
21 is young to get married but it isn't that young. I was a college graduate at 21 living on my own in a city where I didn't know anyone. 21 is a grown up. A year also really isn't that crazy fast to get engaged.
@clevernamehere: I agree. I have plenty of friends who are virgins in their mid 20s. They're not religious either. They just happen to be virgins, and it's not really a big deal...I also know lots of couples (also not evangelicals, for what it's worth) who got married at 21-22 and they are in perfectly normal, happy relationships. Honestly, I barely know who Kevin Jonas is...if they are happy, then that's totally cool for them and I wish them the best.
@clevernamehere: Because we're all very cynical, and because statistics show that taking a virginity pledge doesn't particularly work they way they're meant to. And not everyone agrees about when it's right to get married. I know that if I had gotten married at 21 or 22, it would have been a huge mistake. (I had no idea who I was then!) People who get married at that age have the highest divorce rate.
@clevernamehere: I think the problem isn't their virginity, but the purity rings. Purity rings state to the world you are a virgin and you are saving yourself for marriage. Why does virginity need to be advertised in this way? Why do they need to separate themselves from the rest of the populace who do have pre-marital sex?
@dj_chick: I know virginity pledges are not statistically successful, my master thesis was on teenage pregnancy prevention. But I've also known numerous people who did wait until marriage. Just because virginity pledges aren't a good form of sex ed, doesn't mean they are bad personal choices if the person is making the decision of their own free will.
I'm not so sure they are in the highest divorce group, even if they got married this second (your link doesn't give a source). I'm pretty sure the odds of divorce in a first marriage are highest for teens and slowly decline until age 25, which is what these sources say: [www.psychpage.com] [www.huffingtonpost.com]
But I still don't think it really matters. No age group has a 100% divorce rate.
@heykoukla: @clotheswhorse: Maybe its because I don't follow the Jonas Brothers so I've missed them making a big deal of it, but I assume people know because they ask. I don't have a problem with people mentioning their plan to wait until marriage anymore than I have a problem with someone discussing how they lost their virginity on Howard Stern. I personally wouldn't do it, but I don't care if other people do.
@clevernamehere: I'm going to take it back to people being cynical/skeptical. Just like how Britney Spears was open about being a virgin and planning to wait until marriage, except it turned out that was a lie (and probably part of her PR plan). I'm skeptical of virginity pledges because IMO, it's something kids do to make their parents happy. (Again, just my opinion.) Unfortunately, the Jonas Brothers have made themselves public figures on the topic, and they're going to be scrutinized for every decision they make regarding sex/relationships.
@clevernamehere: There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait. That's probably the best thing you can do - don't throw it away. But there is something wrong about being sanctimonious assholes about it.
@apocalypse-nowish: But have them been sanctimonious assholes about it? If there is some interview out there where they call teens who have sex whores I'd feel differently about the whole thing. But to me, admitting you're waiting when asked doesn't equal sanctimonious.
Consider me one of the 64% of the American public who think that news organizations have covered MJ's death too much.
I understand that this was a horribly tragic thing, but when I watch the news in the morning I should be able to find at least one news station that isn't broadcasting speculative stories about how he died (i.e. could he have overdosed on this drug? how about this one? I feel like we have a better shot at finding the answer if we look at this one...).
If we need to know how he died that badly, why not wait until a coroner's report has been released and report on that. In the meantime, I would request that stations like CNN focus on things other than MJ.
@MissFiFi: I guess the whole thing that bothers me the most is the speculation.
For instance, this morning Sanjay Gupta was trying to figure out what sleep aid MJ was addicted to. He postulated that it could be over the counter, or it could be prescription, it could even be something that anesthesiologists use. All of this was happening ON AIR. I lost a little respect for Dr. Gupta, and even more for CNN (who began the downworld spiral in my esteem during the Iranian election aftermath).
I know they are driven by numbers, and they have budgets to meet as well, but I just wish they wouldn't stoop to what ifs. I was always under the impressio that was for the beginning stages of an investigative journalism piece, not for broadcast.
@dianersb was bit by a zombie: And also I wonder if part of it isn't our whole instant gratification thing. I think our society is becoming more and more used to having everything happen RIGHT NOW, right when we want it -- from fast food to internet access where we can look up just about any subject and have info instantly to even streaming video (heck, we don't even have to run out to the mailbox to grab our Netflix anymore!). So, we might want to know what killed Mr. Jackson, but we have become unused to having to wait for information, thus all the people on-air giving the only thing they can -- speculation and opinion.
@Grim Reaper of the Forest: SERIOUSLY. I'd like James Randi to address that one. (The best part is that when Uri Geller tried to sue Randi for slander, GELLER wound up having to pay over $120k for a frivilous lawsuit. HA!)
@Grim Reaper of the Forest: I don't care about him one way or the other, but as a child I was able to bend some metals with relatively little pressure. My mom was always baffled.
I know this isn't a funny, witty, or interesting comment, but that picture makes me want to squeal and jump into a cuddle puddle with Ms. Ditto and Ms. Moss. I JUST CANNOT STOP SQUEEING AT THE CUTE.
"Mischa Barton tried to bring a friend into a stall in the ladies' room at a club in London, but was stopped by an attendant."
This kinda makes me laugh because, I ran into Mischa several years ago in a Grand Central Station bathroom. She and a friend were applying makeup. This was back before the OC when she was merely known as the girl who threw up in The Sixth Sense.
@PumpkinWhoopies: I'm so sad about this. Are You Being Served? got me through college. I would have cracked under the pressure without it. I think the local PBS was the station that would show it, late at night. RIP, funny lady! I owe my BA to you.
"Kevin Jonas, 21, is engaged to girlfriend Danielle Deleasa." See, this is what bothers me about these purity ring peeps. They say they want to save themselves for marriage and then they get married really young. I can't really consider it waiting if you pop the question after like a year and get married before most Americans have graduated college.
@EkaterinaBallerina: this is because, like the rest of the human race, they can't really wait, either. And rather than look like hypocrites, they choose very young marriages that have a high rate of failure.
@EkaterinaBallerina: But if it's a real marriage, and they keep their vows, then didn't they do exactly what they said they would? I find this much less annoying than the hypocrisy of saying you're waiting for marriage, then a year later admitting you were lying.
@MissMoneypenny: Actually, I consider that being human so no, I don't find it hypocritical at all. Especially when you let other people create an image of you that you don't want (ie Britney, Justin). I also don't consider "lying". Shit happens, statistically purity rings don't work, and I would never fault someone who couldn't abide one.
@EkaterinaBallerina: Waiting isn't supposed to be some battle of will. Someone doesn't have to wait until they are 25 for it to count.
From the handful of people I know, evangelicals do tend to get engaged faster not so much because of the sex thing but because they talk about marriage on the first date. A friend of mine actually discussed where her hypothetical children would go to school and how much money they both invested for retirement before her first date with her now husband. I know non-fundies who dated years without knowing that kind of stuff. Its a lot more similar to what our grandparents did and its only recently that people started waiting years to get married.
I never understand why so many people care about the Jonas sex life. Its like reverse slut-shaming.
@EkaterinaBallerina: I think a lot of Evangelicals (especially the ones I went to high school with) marry quite young in order to have sex-- I know of many who married, had two kids before age 21, and then divorced because they shouldn't really have married in the first place.
On the other hand, 21 is not 18, and I got married two days after I turned 22-- and we were already living together, so it wasn't to have sex. 21 is young, but it's not THAT young.
@BadgerChaser: "I got married two days after I turned 22-- and we were already living together, so it wasn't to have sex."
Yes. Because the (SOMETIMES) very legitimate counter to "What's the rush?" after a while is "Why wait?" Yes I was young when I got engaged, but I was mature and we both knew what we wanted, had discussed the future, and didn't really see that vision changing. I mean, no one knows the future but still...
Kate Moss and Beth Ditto performed an "impromptu duet" at a club last night - singing "Space Oddity" by David Bowie. Guess who thought they did a great job? Simon Cowell
This is the most amazing sentence in the history of everything. Mostly because Beth Ditto + Bowie = WINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWIN
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They don't want to have sex until they get married, so what? Unless they've called those who do have sex before marriage diseased whores, I don't get what the big deal is. If slut shaming is bad, why isn't virgin shaming?
21 is young to get married but it isn't that young. I was a college graduate at 21 living on my own in a city where I didn't know anyone. 21 is a grown up. A year also really isn't that crazy fast to get engaged.
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All of that said, I do with them luck.
stats about virginity pledges - [en.wikipedia.org]
stats on divorce rates - [www.divorcerate.org]
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I'm not so sure they are in the highest divorce group, even if they got married this second (your link doesn't give a source). I'm pretty sure the odds of divorce in a first marriage are highest for teens and slowly decline until age 25, which is what these sources say:
[www.psychpage.com]
[www.huffingtonpost.com]
But I still don't think it really matters. No age group has a 100% divorce rate.
@heykoukla: @clotheswhorse: Maybe its because I don't follow the Jonas Brothers so I've missed them making a big deal of it, but I assume people know because they ask. I don't have a problem with people mentioning their plan to wait until marriage anymore than I have a problem with someone discussing how they lost their virginity on Howard Stern. I personally wouldn't do it, but I don't care if other people do.
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What bothers me is the idea there is something wrong with them for not having sex.
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@Rosaxé: I imagine the cute popular Jonas Brothers waiting is probably helpful to some younger teens who might feel pressured. The ones who don't want to wait have lots of media role models.
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I understand that this was a horribly tragic thing, but when I watch the news in the morning I should be able to find at least one news station that isn't broadcasting speculative stories about how he died (i.e. could he have overdosed on this drug? how about this one? I feel like we have a better shot at finding the answer if we look at this one...).
If we need to know how he died that badly, why not wait until a coroner's report has been released and report on that. In the meantime, I would request that stations like CNN focus on things other than MJ.
/cranky rant
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For instance, this morning Sanjay Gupta was trying to figure out what sleep aid MJ was addicted to. He postulated that it could be over the counter, or it could be prescription, it could even be something that anesthesiologists use. All of this was happening ON AIR. I lost a little respect for Dr. Gupta, and even more for CNN (who began the downworld spiral in my esteem during the Iranian election aftermath).
I know they are driven by numbers, and they have budgets to meet as well, but I just wish they wouldn't stoop to what ifs. I was always under the impressio that was for the beginning stages of an investigative journalism piece, not for broadcast.
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This kinda makes me laugh because, I ran into Mischa several years ago in a Grand Central Station bathroom. She and a friend were applying makeup. This was back before the OC when she was merely known as the girl who threw up in The Sixth Sense.
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Yeah, I'm home today and in the crappiest pair of flip-flops I own. Woot!
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This is a typo and should be body, right? At first I thought his son had the injection marks and I was completely freaked out.
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From the handful of people I know, evangelicals do tend to get engaged faster not so much because of the sex thing but because they talk about marriage on the first date. A friend of mine actually discussed where her hypothetical children would go to school and how much money they both invested for retirement before her first date with her now husband. I know non-fundies who dated years without knowing that kind of stuff. Its a lot more similar to what our grandparents did and its only recently that people started waiting years to get married.
I never understand why so many people care about the Jonas sex life. Its like reverse slut-shaming.
07/02/09
On the other hand, 21 is not 18, and I got married two days after I turned 22-- and we were already living together, so it wasn't to have sex. 21 is young, but it's not THAT young.
07/02/09
Yes. Because the (SOMETIMES) very legitimate counter to "What's the rush?" after a while is "Why wait?" Yes I was young when I got engaged, but I was mature and we both knew what we wanted, had discussed the future, and didn't really see that vision changing. I mean, no one knows the future but still...
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This is the most amazing sentence in the history of everything. Mostly because Beth Ditto + Bowie = WINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWIN