• We should have seen this coming: Lindsay Lohan and John Mayer were spotted sharing a table and dancing together at a New York club last night. "She was way into it," says an eyewitness, "She would follow his every move..."

• "He would dance with the waitresses and then come back," continues the source. Linds Tweeted about the evening: "@johncmayer shhhhhhhhhhhhhh butter-face :)" Where will he find the time to romance Linds if he's still hooking up with Jessica Simpson and fathering Jennifer Aniston's baby? (According to the tabloids.) [E!]
• The suicidal Tweets issued by "themichaellohan" weren't actually written by Michael Lohan — he doesn't even have a Twitter account. [Ok]
• Jessica Simpson said Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin is hot, so TMZ says Cowboys fans should start worrying that the "Yoko Romo curse" is back on. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is launching a DVD for her yoga instructor, Mandy Ingber. "Jen works out with Mandy up to five times a week, and they have become such great friends she even takes Mandy on vacation with her. So Jen was delighted to help launch her DVD," says a source. [N.Y. Post]
• Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, says the story is bogus. "This is ridiculous. Not a word of it is true... I told the Enquirer and Star [the tabloids that broke the story] that it wasn't true. I told them not only did I have information to disprove the story, but I offered to take a lie-detector test." [People]
• However, two more women have come forward claiming they had affairs with Tiger Woods while he was married to Elin Nordegren — and they may have the voicemails to prove it. Jaimee Grubbs of Tool Academy fame told her story to Us and the other woman is still shopping her story. Grubbs claims she had a 31-month affair with Tiger that started in 2007 when she was 21. She told Us she has photos, racy texts, and a voicemail from November 24 in which he says his wife may be on to them. [Radar Online, Us]
• Tiger Woods' lip was split open after his car crash on Friday morning, but police sources say there was no blood in his SUV. [TMZ]
• The Florida Highway Patrol announced today that they're giving Tiger Woods a $164 ticket for reckless driving. There investigation is over and they will not seek any search warrants for his medical records. [TMZ]
• The Adams family, Tiger Woods' neighbors, have hired lawyers to talk to the media. They say Elin Nordegren asked the Adams' for help, which is why they called 911. They gave him a pillow and a blanket and waited for the ambulance. They say there were no signs that they were fighting that night and Elin was concerned for Tiger's safety. [TMZ]
• A judge approved a request from Jennifer Lopez's lawyer for an Emergency Court Order to keep the racy video she made with Ojani Noa from being released to the public. J.Lo didn't attend the hearing. [Radar Online]
• Jennifer Lopez's attorney says there is no "sex tape." "There wasn't anything close to sex in it," he said. "We never alleged that. But it's still private and personal to my client." After the decision Ojani Noa complained, "They're trying to stop me from making my documentary and I'm fighting for my rights... They're not being fair." [People]
• A home video of Marilyn Monroe smoking marijuana at a party in the late '50s has surfaced. The person who shot the film recently sold it to a collector for $275,000. [Reuters]
• Rihanna said her life is far from normal. "It's definitely more intense," she said. "Every day is another curveball, but now I know how to handle it. Every time you get put in a situation, it somehow makes you stronger." [E!]
• Rihanna admitted the leaked naked pictures of her are real. "They were for my boyfriend at the time," she said, "if you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him." She added, "It was the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to me. I just felt like my whole privacy was taken before that [with the other photo leak] and then, when that came out, I thought, 'Oh great, so now there's nothing they don't know about me and my private life. It was humiliating and it was embarrassing – especially my mom having to see that." [People]
• The court date for TLC's case against Jon Gosselin has been moved from December 14 to December 10. [Radar Online]
• Those in charge of Michael Jackson's estate rejected 24-year-old Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson's claim that he's the late singer's lovechild, so he filed an objection asking a judge to "have determined that he is the biological son of decedent Michael Joseph Jackson ... and gain whatever benefits he is entitled to." [TMZ]
• Tori Spelling and Candy Spelling's feud may be over. They started talking in September when they were both in the hospital and Candy finally met her granddaughter Stella. [E!]
• Verne Troyer says his ex-girlfriend Yvette Monet, who just obtained a restraining order against him, just wants money from him and "at no time did I ever threaten Ms. Monet or even hint to her that I would harm her in any way." [TMZ]
• Lisa Loeb gave birth to her first child, Lyla Rose Loeb Hershkovitz, on Sunday morning. [People]
• Possible Lost spoiler: Emilie de Ravin was spotted shooting a scene for the final season with Evangeline Lilly. [E!]
• John Mellencamp's 14-year-old son Speck is asking people to start a Facebook group he created to get his dad to stop smoking. Mellencamp says he'll quit if he gets 1 million people to join. [AP]
  QUOTES
• It seems Ryan Reynolds didn't finish watching yesterday's episode of Regis and Kelly even though his wife Scarlett Johansson was performing at the end of the show. When asked if he saw it he said, "Wait. Was that the show with Matt Dillon?" [Showbiz 411]
• Kate Garraway, the host of Britain's GMTV, said after Mariah Carey appeared on the show, "I've heard a lot of rumours about her being a diva over the years and guess what? It's all true! While Mariah was very nice, the amount of people she had in her entourage was hilarious. They outnumbered the entire GMTV crew!" Now her bosses have forced her to apologize to Mariah. [The Mirror]
• Bill Clinton called his future son-in-law Marc Mezvinsky "a great human being," and, a source says, "Bill adores him. This is the son he didn't have... This is the relationship Bill didn't have with his father." [People]
• When asked who should play President Obama in a movie, Morgan Freeman said, "Denzel. Denzel could pull it off quite nicely. You would totally believe him." [U.S. News]
• Steffi Graf said of the first roses Andre Agassi ever sent her, "I wondered where they came from. Each rose was stunning. You felt every petal had reached the perfect moment of its bloom." [Vogue]
• "One of the reasons I think I've gained weight pretty quickly during my pregnancy is that I'm not exercising as much as I do normally ... I can't. I'm feeling tired, and I have this business to run," says Padma Lakshmi. "You hope that with age, what you pay for in gravity, you gain in gravitas. I'm sure my thighs looked better when I was 25, but I think my mind is better today." [People]
• In addition to acting on Mad Men, Bryan Batt owns a home decor and gift shop in New Orleans with his partner Tom Cianfichi. "It's something we always wanted to do," said Batt. "I've always loved gifts and shopping and design." [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe says after the Harry Potter films are over, his next project will be starting a family. "No man, I've got kids to have yet!" he said. "They're going to keep me busy if I do – which I hope I do at some point. I'm not planning on it soon – that's one of the things I'm really looking forward to doing." [People]
• Mila Kunis says Darren Aronofsky offered her a part in Black Swan over iChat. Here's how their conversation went, according to Kunis: "Hey." "Hey. Do you want to do this?" "Video chat? "No, the movie." "If you just offered me the movie, I think you need to get on video chat and offer it to me." [BlackBook Magazine]

• A source claims that Taylor Lautner has proposed to Taylor Swift. The source was last spotted running down the street screaming, "It's true! Now stay away from Bella! You're ruining everything! Team Edwaarrrrddd!" Not really. But maybe? [ShowbizSpy]

• "It's crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble. I can't even explain to you how terrible that feels, that I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution. It's a nightmare."John Mayer [NYTimes]
• Kristen Scott Thomas will also be co-starring in the upcoming Bel Ami, alongside Uma Thurman and Robert Pattinson, as "one of Pattinson's conquests." [DailyExpress]
• Brad Pitt, meanwhile, will be fighting off aliens in the Bermuda Triangle for an upcoming adaptation of the video game Dark Void. [DailyExpress.]
• Heidi Klum hit the runway just five weeks after the birth of her daughter, Lou, for the Victoria's Secret fashion show in New York City. "I embrace that I have more curves right now," she says. [DailyMail]
• Klum also legally changed her name to Heidi Samuel yesterday, taking her husband, Seal's surname. It's not clear yet if she'll go by Heidi Samuel professionally. [People]
• "We are engaged, and Darren and I are completely committed to ‘until death do us part,' although we haven't made it official with the paperwork yet. It's not for any political reason or that we're waiting for this or for that, but maybe one day we will have an official ceremony."-Rachel Weisz on her relationship with Darren Aronofsky. [JustJared]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson snuck out of the official New Moon afterparty in order to spend time at another club with Joan Jett. Pattinson was spotted singing along to Pulp's "Common People," which means I'm obligated to like him now. [USWeekly]
• Amy Winehouse smokes cigarettes after she leaves the gym. [TheSun]
• "I like to wear crazy stuff. I mean, if I'm hanging out at home watching TV… But I like expressing myself, I like stuff that's not typical. I like being different. Being different and being eccentric feels normal to me." -Adam Lambert [JustJared]
• Nicole Richie is back home after spending time in the hospital in order to battle pneumonia. "But don't worry," her boyfriend Joel Madden notes, "all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
• "Oprah Winfrey is first and foremost one of my dearest friends and obviously the person who taught me everything I know about television. Her show was home for me for five of the most exciting years of my life. The Oprah Winfrey Show is the gold standard and I know that she will succeed at whatever she chooses to do next."-Dr. Phil. [E!]
• 50 Cent says he may settle down someday: "I think it could happen. You know, it has to be at the right time. I mean, you see Em make a decision to go home. He didn't want to wake up one morning and Hailie be grown. You know, your life in general, you gotta make choices at different points." [MTV]
• The famous glove that Michael Jackson wore during his first public performance of the moonwalk is being auctioned off today; pre-auction estimates place the glove's value at $40,000-60,000. [Yahoo]
• Project Runway winner Irena Shabayeva attempts to explain why she had "the bitch edit" on this season's show. [EW]
• Nick Lachey is set to host an a cappella singing contest for NBC. You know what that means! It's time to Do It, Rockapella! [People]
• Kim Kardashian is striking back at Star magazine for insinuating that she's had plastic surgery, writing on her blog: "It's no secret I contour my nose now to make the bump go away! I guess it's a compliment to my makeup artist that he does such a good job contouring my nose that it appears smaller. But hey, Star mag thinks it looks smaller... yay! My dream come true, hahaha! Stories like this are so funny! I love that there's a Dr who I've never even met giving his 'professional' opinion on my face!" [KimKardashian]
• Hugh Hefner says that his favorite book is The Great Gatsby, the love of his life is his current girlfriend, Crystal Harris, and that Robert Downey Jr. is being talked about as a potential Hefner in an upcoming film based on his life. [Guardian]
• James Roppo a senior VP of sales at Island/Def Jam records, was arrested yesterday after a mall event he organized featuring tween sensation Justin Bieber got out of control, with "10,000 screaming fans" showing up to get autographs from the singer. [NYDN]
• "And then there are the paparazzi, who always want you to fail. Last night when I arrived they were all going, ‘Smile, smile'. I was smiling but they were shouting, ‘You're so f***ing boring'. Then one fell into a flower pot. That made me laugh a lot. I hate them. There are actors who want that attention, but I don't care about any of that." -Robert Pattinson [TimesOnline]
• "I've been blessed to be able to be eclectic, and I am thankful for that. As I got older, with my work, I became aware of the responsibility of film, and I feel one of the best ways I can apply myself as an actor is to go beyond movie stardom and celebrity. These movies, these so-called "popcorn movies," or "family movies," actually provide something quite beautiful and something quite necessary — which is a family bonding experience. So God bless the popcorn film. Especially movies where you can take the kids, because I remember looking forward to seeing these movies with my parents, and if I can give that back, I'm going to do it. I don't care if people have criticism for it or not, I think it's a good thing."-Nicolas Cage [Film.com]

[New York, October 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Spencer Pratt says that when he did the Today show, he thought that Al Roker was a "fan" "off the street." And! Heidi Montag's command for Al Roker?

"Please do not be rude to women in the future. Please do not be rude to me. Please watch your tone, especially if you have a mother or a wife or a daughter. I don't think that they would appreciate you talking to them like that." Ugh. Seriously? Anyway, Al Roker, Heidi forgives you. [Us Magazine]

• Al Roker's Twitter reads: "Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for...being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we're at minute 11 of their 15." And! "Amazed at the fact that Ann Curry had an terrific interview w/ Benjamin Netanyahu but what gets picked up is my goofy interview w/ Speidi." Good point. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna calls her new adopted daughter on the phone every night. [The Sun]
• Remember that voicemail Alec Baldwin left for his daughter? The one in which he called her a "rude little pig" who needed to have her "ass straightened out"? After the message leaked, Baldwin considered killing himself, he tells Playboy: "I spoke to a lot of professionals, who helped me… If I committed suicide, [Kim Basinger's side] would have considered that a victory. Destroying me was their avowed goal." [People]
• A source says that when Lindsay Lohan was at a photo shoot in London, she "kept going on about the jewels, asking if she could have them." Later? They went missing. [MSNBC]
• Look! Lindsay Lohan with a pregnant belly. It's for that flick, Labor Pains, which will air on ABC Family July 19. [EW]
• Lindsay Lohan: Spotted at a club "not acting normal." [Page Six]
• Words you never really thought you would read: Katie Holmes is taping her guest appearance for So You Think You Can Dance today. [Us Magazine]
• Teyona Taylor, who was with Chris Brown at the Lakers/Magic game on Sunday, says Chris Brown did not use her for a PR stunt. As for looking like Rihanna, she says: "I've always dressed like that. I've always had style ... I've had that Mohawk now for months." [TMZ]
• Chris Brown being out and about — instead of keeping a low profile — is part of his "strategy." [TMZ]
• David Letterman apologized again for the joke that involved Sarah Palin and her daughters. [NY Times, TV Week]
• Oh, look: A Fire David Letterman campaign. And a protest. [NY Daily News]
• Jeff Foxworthy on David Letterman: "I don't think any kind of joke about someone having sex with a teenage girl is funny." [CNN]
• BREAKING: Sarah Palin has accepted David Letterman's apology. [AP]
• If you're still interested in Carrie Prejean, here's a story about how she's "considering legal action" against the Miss California USA pageant and how her book deal may have been one of the reasons she was fired. [Radar Online]
• This report claims that the pageant threatened to sue Carrie Prejean, for her "churlish insolent misbehavior." [TMZ]
• David and Victoria Beckham have received a High Court apology from their former nanny, who gave an interview to the News Of The World after she resigned and spilled all kind of private information. [BBC News]
• Bad news for Patrick Swayze: A&E's series The Beast has been canceled. [NY Times]
• Why hasn't Mischa Barton been at any of the promotional events for her new model show, The Beautiful Life? Weird, right? [Pop Wrap]
• Peaches Geldof is being linked to an L.A. stylist named Sandra S. This paper takes it as a sign "she may be off men for good." [The Sun]
• Adrien Grenier and Twilight's Ashley Greene: It's on. [Page Six]
• Gerard Butler and designer Rachel Roy? Getting cozy? [Page Six]
• Steven Spielberg and Noah Wyle are working on an alien-invasion TV series for TNT that sounds kinda like V. [EW]
• Natalie Portman is in talks to star in a supernatural thriller set in the world of New York City ballet (?!?!) directed by Darren Aronofsky, of The Wrestler and Requiem For A Dream. Intriguing! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Leonardo DiCaprio will star in a flick about Costa Rica-based online casinos, written by the guys who did Ocean's Thirteen and Rounders. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Wow. A documentary chronicling Tilda Swinton as she bikes along what used to be the Berlin Wall. Sign us up! [Reuters]
• What the world needs now: R. Kelly will make his first trip to Africa and perform at the Arise Africa Fashion Awards gala in Johannesburg, South Africa. [WWD]
• "Artie Lange won't be appearing on Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show anytime soon: Producers think Howard Stern's sidekick isn't sober enough to perform." [Gatecrasher]
• Ignore any rumors you may have heard about Stephen Baldwin's house being in foreclosure, says Stephen Baldwin's rep. [People]
• As previously mentioned, Scott Weiland's wife is writing a book about their marriage's ups and downs; Scott Weiland says: "My love for her will never end. We just forgot how to be friends. She has now chosen a public career and one that brings both accolades and public scrutiny. There will be more of this sort of thing to deal with as time goes by... both good and bad. Divorce is hell..." [ONTD via All Headline News]
• Hulk Hogan's accusing estranged wife Linda of spending her $40k a month alimony on drugs. Stay classy you guys. [TMZ]
• Michael Strahan and Nicole (ex wife of Eddie) Murphy: Engaged. [People]
• Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey, chim chim cher-ee! Dick Van Dyke is writing a memoir. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item! "Which male music diva kicked a billionaire out of his house - just because he put his dirty feet on a pristine white couch?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Even the people that were shovelling bodies into gas chambers would say 'we're just obeying orders'... you've got to accept responsibility for what you're doing. If your actions as an individual are directly having a negative effect on someone else's life then you can't say 'I'm just doing my job.'" — Pete Doherty on the paparazzi (yes, he's comparing them to Nazi concentration camp guards.) [Mirror]
• "There is a period once you finish a guy — a character — when you're looking to go back to yourself and sometimes it can manifest itself in illness. After I made The Libertine, I was in bed for two weeks. When you're working, you don't get sick, then suddenly it hits you like a two-by-four." — Johnny Depp. [MSNBC via Contact Music]
• "After I was cast and I realized my body would be exposed all the time, I went out and bought some shorts - I owned none - to help me get used to it. You stop thinking, Do I look weird at this angle? I've learned to feel comfortable wearing very little. It's liberating! …I love being barefoot. I'm not going to lie - I love my high heels, too, so I'm completely bipolar in that regard." — Anna Paquin, on exposing herself in True Blood. [Gatecrasher via Self Magazine]
• "When I read the script, I said to myself, ‘OK, well, you're turning 50 this year and you're really heading into the eye of the storm with this one. Then I was working too hard to really think about what was happening. [My birthday] kind of came and went and it wasn't a big deal. Honestly, it was a huge relief when it was over because you realize nothing changes." — Michelle Pfeiffer, on playing a french prostitute in Cheri. [WWD]
• "I had booby stickers on. If I'd been actually topless, I would have sued someone… I know who, and I never did anything about it. It's her karma to deal with, not mine." — Megan Fox, on leaked nude pix. [NY Daily News]

• "It's not like she's asking him for details, but she's thrilled at the prospect of him moving on. It makes things easier for everybody," says a source. Meanwhile, Madge is trying to keep a "low profile" on her "friendship" with A-Rod. [MSNBC]
• Don't count on Reese Witherspoon tying the knot with Jakey G. any time soon (you were waiting for this with bated breath, we assume): Reese says she's not sure she'll ever get married again. "I don't know [if I'll get married again]. I don't think about it much. At the moment, I am not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again," she says. [ Daily Mail]
• Rumors are rampant that Russell Crowe is clashing with director Ridley Scott on the set of the film Nottingham. A source tells Page Six, "Ridley is the only one who is willing to stand up to Russell and tell him he's too fat and that he can't show up four hours late to the set…[Russell] wants someone he can control." Russell plays the Sheriff of Nottingham in this new version of the Robin Hood tale. [Page Six]
• Though initial speculation was that Levi Johnston's mother, Sherry, was involved in selling meth, she was actually apprehended for selling oxycontin, otherwise known as "hillbilly heroin." She's currently out on bail. [McClatchy]
• Eric Dane is still not over the fact that ex-ladyfriend Lara Flynn Boyle was dating Jack Nicholson while she dated Dane in the 90s. "My take on the whole thing was, I'm 30. He's 70. This is not going to go down like this. I couldn't comprehend a 35-year-old woman gravitating toward a 70-year-old man . . . I walked away," Dane says. [Page Six]
• Sam Ronson's Lilo love has been quite lucrative: since the pair got together, SamRon's DJ fee has gone from $1,500 to as much as $25,000 per event. “While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an "insider" tells the Daily News. However, the couple apparently bickers constantly. [NYDN]
• Sad news for Led Zep lovers! Robert Plant has said that he does not want to do a reunion tour. "I still see Jimmy [Page] quite a lot and he's very complimentary and supportive of what I'm doing," Plant says. "But we are in different places now and you have to go on to do different things." Then he added, "Do you know how long it took me to climb up onto the stage here - and it's only four steps!" Aw. We've got a whole lotta love for Robert. [Telegraph]
• Tom Hanks is literally the nicest guy in Hollywood: to help raise money for a failing independent book seller called Village Books in Pacific Pallisades, Hanks "sat at at a small table in the back signing everything put in front of him…He stayed a half-hour beyond his scheduled two-hour appearance." The store is now catching up on back rent thanks to Hanks' generosity. Love!!! [Page Six]
• All the British tabs have photos of a no longer skeletal Amy Winehouse frolicking on the beach in St. Lucia. Some are speculating that she is really getting off drugs this time: fingers crossed. [The Sun — Link NSFW]
• "She's keeping it fresh for her customers. I wanted to do nipple rings, and (Aronofsky) said, 'I love it.' And I knew we were on the same page. They pinched them on and used eyelash glue. My breasts got a lot of attention that day." — Marisa Tomei on her role as a stripper in The Wrestler. [ USA Today]
• Paris Hilton's mom, Cathy, had this to say about the recent burglary of $2 million worth of jewelery from Paris's Hollywood Hills home: "I'm just happy that she's okay. But you can't be possessed by your possessions. Those are just things. And I'm happy that she's okay." [E! Online via Yahoo News]
• Unlike her mama, Paris is not so happy-go-lucky about the robbery. "I am devastated. I cannot believe someone broke into my home. They took items that had such sentimental value that no one will ever be able to replace," she says. [Extra]
• A recording of John Lennon drunk and singing a cover of the Lloyd Price song "Just Because" in 1973 was purchased for $30,000. A spokeswoman from the auction house said, "It was six minutes, 16 seconds, and John singing very drunk and with John ad-libbing his own lyrics into the song — so it's actually a fun song to listen to." Hear that people? Start recording your drunk ass singing, it might be worth tens of thousands some day! [CNN]
• A new biography of the King of Pop claims that Michael Jackson is gravely ill. “He needs a lung transplant, but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that’s the most problematic part. It could kill him," says biographer Ian Halperin. Halperin alleges that Jackson has "an inherited condition called A1AD — alpha-1 anti-trypsin deficiency. Sufferers lack a protein which protects the lungs." Yikes! [The Sun]
• There will be no strollers allowed at Obama's inauguration, but not because they're a nuisance — but because they're a security risk. Thermoses, backpacks, and chairs will also not be allowed on the inauguration route. [TMZ]

[Los Angeles, December 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, September 16. Image via Flynet]