The opening quotes of the report are heart wrenching:

It is not yet safe to be a woman here. It won't be safe until there is justice and until violence against women is taken seriously.

- - Chadian journalist interviewed in Abéché, Eastern Chad

I remember one woman asking me if there was anywhere she could go and feel safe. I didn't know what to answer because I don't think there is an answer.

- - Aid worker, interviewed in Abéché

The report goes on to detail many of the internal issues within the camp, the lack of safety when women leave the camp to look for necessities like firewood or straw, and how often bandits and other local criminals prey on women refugees.

And that's just the dangers outside of the camps.

Inside UN territory, the nightmare for many women continues:

Mariam, a 22-year-old mother of two was raped in Gaga Refugee Camp by a man working with an international organization operational in the camp. She has been a refugee in Chad for more than six years, since the beginning of the conflict in Darfur. For the last three years she has worked as a social worker for an international NGO in the camp. In that capacity, she worked in the camp with a Chadian man. It is this man who attacked her.

On 17 April 2009, Mariam and her Chadian co-worker went to visit a sick elderly woman in the camp. On their way, they passed close to Mariam's hut and the man asked if they could stop for a drink of water. They did. When Mariam brought the water to him, he grabbed her from the back. She shouted, but he then grabbed her by the throat, muffling her cries and making it hard for her to breathe. He then raped her. It was the middle of the day, and her husband and neighbours were not present. But then a neighbour came back to his hut while Mariam was still being raped. She saw him and shouted out. The man looked, saw what was happening and yelled at Mariam's aggressor, who then ran out of the hut and fled from the camp. He is reported to have fled to Abéché. Mariam went to the clinic inside Gaga camp. She informed her organization and her husband about what had occurred. The international NGO fired the man, who is rumoured to still be at large in Abéché.

It is not clear by the end of August 2009 if further legal action was taken against him. Mariam's husband filed a complaint with the security branch of the National Commission for Reception and Settlement of Refugees, Commission Nationale d'Accueil et de Réinsertion des Réfugiés,(CNAR). The complaint was reportedly forwarded to local Chadian authorities but neither Mariam nor her husband has been informed of any further investigation or proceedings at the end of May 2009. Mariam continued to work with the same organization. She told Amnesty International, however, that she felt increasingly distressed about what happened to her, and feels that others do not care much and are doing little to provide her with assistance or support.

In addition to sexual violence, there is also physical violence:

In June 2008, the president (representative) of the refugee committee at Farchana Camp ordered a number of refugees to beat a group of five girls who he accused of misbehaving. The girls were severely beaten and later received medical treatment in the camp clinic. A complaint was filed with local officials against the representative of the refugee committee. He was later charged with assault and convicted.

Girls have also reported being sexually propositioned by school teachers in the camps, as well as being forced into marriages by local custom or as "reparations" for rape.

The report provides recommendations for each player as to how the camps could improve, and provides a lengthy list for MINURCAT (the United Nations Mission in the Central African Republic and Chad). Amnesty International suggests:

• Ensure MINURCAT includes gender advisors who can monitor the situation of women and girls, assist women's representatives in advocating for services to improve their safety, ensure that all MINURCAT staff are working to improve the protection of the human rights of women and girls and ensure improved training of MINURCAT and DIS staff involved in investigating crimes of sexual violence against women and girls.
• Ensure that any person reporting sexual violence has prompt access to medical care.
• Work with the Chadian government to set up an effective DIS vetting process and ensure
  that those reasonably suspected of crimes under Chadian and international human rights law
  are excluded from the DIS pending a prompt, effective, independent and impartial
  investigation and prosecution process.
• Ensure appropriate training of DIS officers with respect to the establishment of a
  database to record crimes, including sexual and gender-based violence, and the conduct of
  investigations of alleged human rights violations.
• Ensure that effective forensic investigation techniques, which respect World Health
  Organization guidelines for medico-legal care of victims of sexual violence, are available for
  use in investigations of sexual assault.
• Ensure that the security of refugees both inside and outside refugee camps in eastern
  Chad is effectively guaranteed by both MINURCAT military forces and the DIS, by means of regular patrols around all 12 refugee camps in eastern Chad and the provision of escorts for women and girls at their request when they venture outside refugee camps.
• Work with the UNHCR, other UN agencies and international humanitarian organizations operational in and around refugee camps, and refugee women and girls themselves, to develop comprehensive strategies to address the causes and circumstances of sexual violence, including factors that compel women and girls to travel outside refugee camps.
• Insist that Chadian authorities bring to justice suspected perpetrators of rape and other violence against refugee women and girls and ensure that survivors have adequate support, protection and full reparations.
• Monitor reports of rape and other violence against refugee women and girls which are lodged with the Chadian authorities and follow-up with authorities ihttp://publish.jezebel.com/ged/newn order to ensure that all possible action is taken to investigate these crimes.

However, as if proving that the hardest part of fighting a rape culture (in any part of the globe) are entrenched attitudes, the spokesperson of MINURCAT, Michel Bonnardeaux responded to Reuters by explaining that things aren't as bad as they seem:

"Given what they have, they do a very good job," he said.

"I think it (the report) is a little hasty and based in a fairly small sample and a short visit. I would invite the researchers to come back and have some better statistics to get a better picture ... The situation is certainly better that it was than a year ago."

Is that so? Now, admittedly, I haven't come across a whole lot of news about conditions in the camps. However, one image that has stuck with me for the last year is this picture from Hungry Planet: What the World Eats which shows the amount of food this refugee family in a camp in Chad survives on for one week:

Now, I suppose we could say they have food, which is important. But at the same time, that small amount doesn't really seem like enough. I feel the same way about the remarks in regard to efforts regarding sexual violence. The camp is better than what so many people fled from, but it is still a difficult existence. And we need to start taking these issues seriously, instead of just pointing to the worst case scenario as a defense.

Luckily, someone with sway and power is taking this issue very seriously - Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. In addition to making women's rights a cornerstone of her platform, she has set her sights on eliminating rape as a tool of war:

Secretary Clinton, who has committed to making women's issues a "centerpiece" of her work as the Obama administration's chief diplomat, will chair a session of the UN Security Council on women, peace, and security. At the session Wednesday, she'll promote a US-sponsored resolution that seeks to expand and strengthen a measure approved last year, which condemns the use of rape in conflict and characterizes it as a threat to peace and security.
Clinton was moved to seek additional action against the growing use of rape as a result of her visit to the Democratic Republic of the Congo in August. She met with some of the estimated 200,000 victims of sexual violence in the country's war-torn eastern region.

"Meeting with survivors of rape, which is now used increasingly as a tool of war, was shattering," Clinton told a New York audience in the run-up to last week's UN General Assembly meeting. Addressing a separate gathering of female heads of state and foreign ministers, she said, "There are people who say, 'Well, women's issues is an important issue, but it doesn't rank up there with the Middle East or Iran's nuclear threat or Afghanistan and Pakistan.' I couldn't disagree more."

The U.N. is also scheduled to create a coordinator position to help end systemic rape and violence against women in times of war. For the millions of women around the globe impacted by this issue, it isn't a moment too soon.

"No Place For Us Here: Violence Against Refugee Women In Eastern Chad" [Amnesty International]
Mandate [MINURCAT]
Darfur Refugees Raped In Chad Camps: Amnesty [Reuters]
Hungry Planet: What The World Eats [Amazon]
Clinton To Chair Security Council Session On Sexual Violence [Christian Science Monitor]
U.N. To Adopt Post For Women Caught In War [UPI]

Earlier: Hillary Clinton Tackles Economics, Terrorism, Microlending In NY Times Profile

The goal of Farrow's strike, which she began 10 days ago in Connecticut, is to encourage President Obama to intervene in Sudan, which expelled all humanitarian aid agencies from the country in March. In addition to the blogging, Farrow's been doing a ton of press to promote coverage of the Darfur situation.

Whatever one's considered opinions of the best approach to this cause, the efficacy of hunger striking, of celebrity activism, or the guilt of watching a live hunger-strike while eating a large plate of cold sesame noodles (probably not as great as it should have been), no one can deny that the actress's heart is in the right place - or that the strike's bringing attention to Darfur, its stated aim. And, importantly, both blog and videos devote a lot of time to concrete ways one can help, contribute, or vocalize support. It's always an open question whether big-name involvement's benefits outweigh the costs of losing those people who will automatically regard it as trivializing - or whether the attention it generates translates to activism - but in this case we're guessing there really is no such thing as bad publicity. However, two things give us pause: 1. Farrow says she's mostly in bed conserving her energy - so what about the crying child in the background? and 2. She's taking fasting advice from David Blaine, problematic only because lots of folks we know say David Blaine's a jerk who treats people badly and in fact we did once witness his trying to cut the line at the Magnolia Bakery. But fasting, I guess, he knows.

Mia Farrow Blogs Her Hunger Strike [NY Times]

My Hunger Strike for Darfur [Huffington Post]
Mia Farrow Channel [YouTube]
Mia Farrow.org

Earlier: Emma Thompson: Celebrities + Charities = "Causeweariness"

• Rihanna was the big show-stopper at the Met Ball: Celebs cheered when she took the stage to perform. And! At an after-party, guess who RiRi was in deep convo with?

None other than Ms. Anna Wintour. Will someone be gracing the pages of Vogue very soon? [Gatecrasher]

• Have people stopped returning Lindsay Lohan's phone calls? Apparently Pharrell Williams had offered to help her revive her music career, she tells Interview: "He's an amazing guy. He's only been really kind to me whenever I've met him. He said, 'I'd love to make a great record with you, but I want to take you out of all the elements that you're used to. Let's go away. Let's go somewhere nice where you can be focused, and let's make an album there.'" Of course, she hasn't heard from him since and says: "Pharrell, please call me back!" [Daily Express]
• It seems that Kiefer Sutherland did indeed intentionally headbutt Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough, who allegedly knocked over Brooke Shields; Kiefer was coming to Brooke's rescue or something. Met Ball dramz! [TMZ]
• Brooke Shields' rep is saying "nothing happened to her" and "Jack did nothing inappropriate. It's not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did." [TMZ]
• A source says Kiefer Sutherland "was really drunk and he got accidentally bumped by McCollough. They started arguing and then he just head-butted him." Hmm. Kiefer's been arrested for DUI twice. [Page Six]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us magazine is confirming that star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 Jon Gosselin, 32, has been having an affair with third grade school teacher Deanna Hummel, 23. [Just Jared]
• Amy Winehouse's dad is kicking "freeloading pals" out of her hotel room in St. Lucia — her two friends Violetta and Thalia were having "all-day boozing sessions" on Amy's dime. A source says: "Amy performs for the first time in ages at the St Lucia Jazz Festival this week. Mitch knows she has to get it right." [The Sun]
• Paula Abdul is saying pain killers are to blame for when she would "get weird." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Madonna is planning a concert in St. Petersburg, Russia, but local authorities are calling it a "natural disaster" and want "guarantees that there will be no blasphemy." Ha! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham wears her sunglasses at night. In the rain. [The Sun]
• Excellent news: Mindy Kaling has a new deal with NBC; she'll continue to write for and appear on The Office next season while simultaneously developing a comedy in which she would also star. She says: "This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world." [Variety]
• Holy gray T-shirt! These pictures of Simon Cowell's new £15million mansion which looks over the Hollywood Hills are absolutely stunning. [Daily Mail]
• In a deposition regarding a lawsuit that Paris Hilton didn't do enough to promote 2006 box office bomb Pledge This, Paris says she promoted the flick "any chance I got." Her lawyer says, "She's the single busiest person on the planet." [AP]
• "Robert Pattinson 'baffled' by fans." [Mirror]
• The weight watchers have moved from Jessica and Lindsay to the King of Pop: Michael Jackson has allegedly been warned that he is "too thin" and needs to gain about 20 lbs before his 50 live shows in the UK. [The Sun]
• Details on Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's wedding! It took place in a cloister of a convent that's a luxury bed and breakfast in Brindisi, Italy; Jake and Reese were there; guests mingled in the garden, which features a pool, wines from the nearby town of Lecce were served. [People]
• Oprah's Twitter stunt of offering everyone in America a free chicken dinner: Newsworthy. [Time]
• Speaking of Ms. Winfrey, you knew this would happen: Susan Boyle will be on Oprah. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday was Chris Brown's birthday; he turned 20 and it was "low-key." [People]
• Mia Farrow is ten days into her hunger strike for Darfur. A few days ago she said: "At this point I don't think about food. I am weaker and I am mostly in bed. I am clear-minded. I sleep less." She also says: "No one voted for President Obama with more excitement and passion than I did, but he's really been lagging and the people of Darfur can't wait." [Guardian]
• Mia Farrow is documenting her fast on YouTube. [Page Six]
• Joel Madden went on a Twitter rant after he and baby Harlow were surrounded by photographers at an airport: "Let me just say shame on any magazine or blog that post pics of us in the miami airport. The photographers were acting like animals. it was the first time i've ever seen my child scared. Not cool for any parent to see. At least in LA they gave us some space. These guys were sticking flashes in her face and bumping in to us and yelling. The most unnecessary force i've ever seen." [Perez]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto says Miss California USA once posed with "trannie extraordinaire" Amanda Lepore. He asked Amanda about it, but she says: "I don't remember meeting her. You know how many pictures I take!" Of Carrie Prejean's pageant answer, Ms. Lepore says: "That was stupid. She could never make a career in TV. Gays monopolize everything! She's a dummy! Now she's trying to have churches help her. That doesn't sound promising. But at least she has big tits. She can marry a high roller and have miserable kids that hate her." Musto adds: "All thanks to opposite marriage!" [Village Voice]
• Unfake my heart: A Las Vegas entertainer faces fraud charges for impersonating Toni Braxton. [AP]
• Back in the '90s, Bono wrote a poem about Elvis; it will be broadcast on the UK's Radio 4 on May 13. [The Sun]
• Rachel Weisz will star in an indie political drama, The Whistleblower, which is based on the true story of a female cop from Nebraska who serves as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia and exposes a United Nations cover-up of a sex trafficking scandal. [Variety]
• Will Ferrell is in talks to star in a comedy called Neighborhood Watch, directed by the guy who did Wedding Crashers. [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz plays the mother of a sick child in My Sister's Keeper, and although she appears bald in the film, didn't shave her head: She only needed to be bald for one day of shooting. [LA Times]
• Kate Walsh's divorce continues to be a mess. [TMZ]
• Debbie Matenoppoulos will get $3,595 per month in spousal support from her ex, Jay Faires. She currently lives in the couple's home and is responsible for paying all expenses, including the mortgage. [Radar Online]
• Shimmy shimmy ya: Ol' Dirty Bastard will be memorialized in an upcoming documentary and a series of tribute albums, all produced by his cousin Raison Allah Iceman. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which very taken Oscar winner has been sending lots of flowers to a pretty fashion publicist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "There are many duos we wanted to draw from. Something as eccentric as The Odd Couple to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Withnail and I and Laurel and Hardy. It's the kind of friendship you can only have with someone of the same sex, a person you adore but who infuriates you." — Jude Law on the relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in Guy Ritchie's new flick Sherlock Holmes. [USA Today]
• "There's tons of stuff in my name. I mean, if I told you how many Facebook pages have my name on it, you wouldn't believe it. But I am going to join Facebook. I've been doing the MySpace thing a long time and I realize a lot of people are doing Twitter, I just don't want to know what people are doing every single second of their day. I find it a little invasive, but people are into it. To each their own. I don't have the desire to send out messages all day long. That's not me. I'd rather be doing something else." — Zach Braff [Time]

"Part of the problem lies in semantics," writes Thompson.

Words such as "charity", "cause", "development", "human rights" and "activism" can all become skewed with misuse. At best, overuse renders them banal. But at worst they become counterproductive. Say "human rights activist" and increasing numbers of people will just slam their hands over their ears. There is causeweariness even before you prefix "human rights activist" with that extra soul-sapping tag "celebrity."

Thompson continues: "The question I dread most is: 'What's your favourite charity?' You might as well ask: 'What's your favourite war zone?' To talk about charity in this way compartmentalises it, separates it from the day-to-day stuff of life."

[Emma Thompson is a Greenpeace activist, a patron of the Refugee Council and wrote her Times of London essay as an aside to her work for the Helen Bamber Foundation, a human rights organization which supports survivors of gross human rights violations.]

But let's be honest: It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? Being a Celebrity with a Cause? If you're an actor, people are interested in you for your ability to portray a character and speak lines someone else has written. If you're a singer, people want to hear you sing. They don't necessarily want to hear about your dedication to cancer research or impoverished children. Entertainment, after all, is an escape.

And yet: With money and power and influence, celebrities have the ability to make an impact for a campaign or cause. Sometimes "awareness" is part of the battle. But what are the ultimate results? Does it work? Does the fact George Clooney and Ryan Gosing care about what's going on in Darfur — or Mia Farrow's hunger strike — affect your feelings about Darfur? spoken Does Khloe Kardashian stripping for PETA make you less likely to wear fur? And what about when Naomi Campbell posed nude for PETA, and then was seen in stuff like this?

The Power of Youth And the Winnable Battle Against Global Hunger [Huffington Post]
Emma Thompson: Conscience, Celebrity And Me [Times of London]
Do-Gooder Celebs Can Aid -and Irritate [Newser]

• Lindsay Lohan has supposedly been spending time with "a different man every night" since breaking up with Sam Ronson:

According to this report, she's been in "constant contact" with 90210 star Kellan Lutz and also been hanging out with a British paparazzo named Chris Jepson. A source says she and Jepson were "inseparable" at a Hollywood house party and spent some time in the bathroom together, blah blah blah. [Page Six]

• Heidi Montag and Miley Cyrus have come out in support of gay marriage (and Perez Hilton) via Twitter. Heidi's says: "God says in the bible that we should love our neighbor and he created us all as equals. I know in my heart that gays and lesbians should have the same government rights that Spencer and I will when we get married. So, yes, this blonde Christian believes in gay marriage." As for Miley, she wrote: "Jesus loves you AND your partner and wants you to know how much he cares! thats like a daddy not loving his lil boy cuz hes gay and that is WRONG and very sad! like i said everyone deserves to be happy." [Perez]
• Jesus may love the gheyz but Catholics hate Ron Howard's Angels & Demons. The Catholic Bishops Conference of India want it banned. [E!, Page Six]
• Lauren Conrad says Spencer Pratt has admitted that he started the sex tape rumor about her. "We actually have it on tape. He takes responsibility and apologizes for it." Oh, and also, the peeps from The Hills may not be as vapid as you think: MTV exec Liz Gateley sez: "These folks do talk about a lot of intelligent things — like global warming — we just don't show that on the show." Yes, shield your audience from the big words! [LA Times]
• Stephanie Pratt on being a Speidi bridesmaid: "I've never been to a wedding before. I know that Holly is in it. I'm hoping that she is Maid of Honor because I will screw everything up. I don't know if you watched any of the Kelly Cutrone scenes, but I'm really not good at following direction." [E!]
• LC says of the wedding: "I think that it was very nice of [Heidi] to invite me but I think that she didn't really expect me to come." [Mirror]
• Audrina is in a PETA ad, dressed as an angel wearing some kind of stripper bikini. She copy reads: "Be an Angel for Animals. ALWAYS ADOPT. NEVER BUY." [Just Jared]
• Was Madonna's fall from a horse as bad as it sounded? She is already back to working out with trainer Tracy Anderson. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie might star as Dr. Kay Scarpetta in a film based on the best-selling books by Patricia Cornwell. There are 16 Scarpetta books, so the film could potentially turn into a Bourne-type franchise. And! She's neither a hooker, a victim nor a doormat; she's a medical examiner. [Variety]
• Rihanna may go on tour with Ciara and Keyshia Cole, a source says. "Rihanna wants strong women to join her," the insider spills. "This is a 'women empowerment' type of tour." [E!]
• Will Rihanna and Chris Brown have to confront each other at an ASCAP Awards after-party tonight? [Daily Express]
• Hey, remember Britney's restraining order case? It's still going on: Closing arguments were heard yesterday but no ruling was made on whether to extend the length of time Sam Lutfi needs to stay away from the pop star. [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Oprah Winfrey are the greenest celebrities in the world…according to a poll. Hmm. [Daily Express]
• Hugh Jackman put his hand and foot prints in the cement outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood yesterday. [Reuters]
• Rachel Bilson will be a "fashion editor" at In Style; she'll write a monthly Q&A answering readers' style questions and talking about her favorite trends. [WWD]
• Congrats to Jill Scott and her fiancé; she delivered a boy named Jett Hamilton Roberts on April 20. Scott, who stars in HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, found out she was pregnant the day she was supposed to leave for Africa. [People]
• When Steve-O was in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College, he was a "cocaine-addicted clown" who "two shows on Friday, three shows on Saturday and three shows on Sunday, and typically I would do cocaine through all of it without sleeping." Jackass. [People]
• Lo Bosworth is guest blogging about The Hills over on E! Here's a sample: " Last night's episode was kind of sad, but there were parts that were really funny, too." Scintillating! [E!]
• Jamie Foxx is being sued by a guy who was severely injured by a vodka display and now can't be a brain surgeon. It's wasn't Foxx's display, but he was the host of the party at a Hollywood club. [TMZ]
• Can you picture Jamie Foxx playing Mike Tyson? [Gatecrasher]
• Movie studios are custom-tailoring scripts for Tom Cruise… Will he have a hit? [Variety]
• Check out what Michael Jackson wore on a 95° day in Beverly Hills. [Concrete Loop]
• In a "legal victory" for Sacha Baron Cohen, a judge ruled that a woman was not subject of libel because "it is obvious that the Ali G character is absurd, and all his statements are gibberish and intended as comedy." [NY Times]
• Here is a detailed run-down of the Mel Gibson family: Mel and his wife have an eldest daughter and "six able-bodied boys," the youngest of whom is 10. How will the divorce affect them? [People]
• Blind item! "What music executive ditched his longtime girlfriend by calling the cops and having her physically removed from their apartment?" [Gatecrasher]
• "For me to go, in the dead of winter, and leave the family, when the kids are in school and they can't come with me - it has got to be pretty damn good." — Michelle Pfeiffer on the script for her new flick, Cheri. [Guardian]
• "My manager keeps it in his house. I got too many people coming to my house. I don't want it to walk off. People stealing it and leaving me with an Oscar Mayer (meat product) instead. Like, what's this doing here?" — Jamie Foxx on his Oscar. [Daily Express]
• "We're like the Green Eggs and Ham of breakers-up: in a box. With a fox. On a train. In the rain. Down at Mel's. On our cells. Over a martini. In a Lamborghini… I will always love him. He's a very special person." — Kristin Chenoweth, on her on-again/off-again relationship with Aaron Sorkin, creator of Studio 60 and The West Wing. Full interview with Chenoweth, who has a new book, here. [The Daily Beast]
• "On April 27 I will begin a fast of water only in solidarity with the people of Darfur and as a personal expression of outrage at a world that is somehow able to stand by and watch innocent men, women and children needlessly die of starvation, thirst and disease." — Mia Farrow, announcing her hunger strike. [Yahoo News via Reuters]

• So much Oscar gossip! For instance:

Amanda Seyfried got her heel caught in a stocking during the song and dance number. Zac Efron's microphone got tangled in his bow tie. We'll never be invited back," Zac joked. Alicia Keys broke a heel; Goldie Hawn snuck in the back where "no one's screaming." Jennifer Aniston was heard whispering to John Mayer: "I really love you, every part of you." [AP]

• On the red carpet, Mickey Rourke told a reporter: "I said to myself, 'I would rather have Loki for another two years than have an Oscar,' and I told her that, you know. But she stayed as long as she could." [E!]
• Mickey Rourke maybe tried to grope Jessica Alba, who "jumped back and made a disgusted face." [Gatecrasher]
• On the red carpet, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt snubbed Ryan Seacrest. Again. [NY Daily News]
• Kate Winslet on the red carpet: "I said to my daughter, 'If I did win the big prize, what do you think I should say?' And she said, 'I just think you should be really crazy and emotional'. I thought, 'You're no good.'" [E!]
• Kate Winslet doesn't want to see Angelina Jolie naked. [E!]
• Robert Pattinson on the red carpet: "I did a rehearsal and messed it up. I am probably going to be the letdown of the entire show." Uh, yeah. You're the let down of the entire show. The Oscars hinge on a sparkly vampire. [E!]
• Did you know that Oscar winners are obliged to sign winners' agreements? The agreements say if they or their heirs ever decide to part ways with their Oscars, they must offer to sell the awards back to the Academy for $1 each. Matilda Ledger will have to sign this when she turns 18, apparently. [E!]
• A review of the show: "Hugh Jackman a winner but production was a lost cause." [NY Daily News]
• Harvey Weinstein had a party Saturday night and everyone was there: Robert DeNiro, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, and Miss Lindsay Lohan, who showed up with a guy who owns local luxury car dealerships. [Fox 411]
• Katie "Jordan" Price attended Elton John's Oscar party, and her "rival," Victoria Beckham, was there. No showcase showdown occurred. [Daily Mail]
• An insider on Rachel Zoe: "Her television career is interfering with her styling work. Clients are getting very upset." This is why she was seen "flipping out over the phone and screaming at the top of her lungs" at the Weinstein pre-Oscar party. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which married Oscar nominee has been cheating on his wife with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Aniston didn't run into Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the Dreamworks Oscar bash — because they didn't show up! [Gatecrasher]
• Penelope Cruz and Tom Cruise did run into each other at an Oscar party. "Penelope tapped him on the shoulder and timidly asked, 'Tom?' Tom turned around, got visibly flustered and awkwardly said, 'Oh, hey. Hi,' and gave her a small, distant hug before turning back around to his friends. It was weird." [Perez]
• Here's a rundown of all the Oscar winners. [NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown called Rihanna to wish her a happy birthday. He also sent her a diamond bracelet and necklace, as well as an iPod Touch. Friday night, Rihanna had a birthday party that was Blackjack-themed (Chris was not there) and then jetted off to Barbados. [Gatecrasher]
• What the fuck is up with CNN anchor Kiran Chetry saying that Rihanna will have to deal with the "stigma" of being an abuse victim? Writes Barbara Morrill: "Do we use such terminology about victims in a robbery? When a man beats up another man?" Some dude says, "She'll be remembered for this, rather than her own talents." This is not right. [Daily Kos]
• Amy Winehouse stays busy: Now she's accused of splitting up a lesbian couple. An unnamed woman claims she found her girlfriend in bed with Amy Winehouse, and that Amy asked if she wanted to join. This woman changed her MySpace profile to read: "Amy Winehouse asked me for a threesome and I said no, no, no." [Mirror]
• George Clooney is in Darfur, but the United Nations is pulling his security escort, since he has been speaking out on the troubles in the area. Please Cloons, be careful! [Daily Express]
• Nicholas Kristof says he and George Clooney are bunking in a tiny room in a guest house and "George's side of the room has a big splotch of something that sure looks like blood." [NY Times]
• Speaking of putting yourself in harm's way, T-Pain has canceled a concert in Guyana after "credible death and kidnapping threats." Someone doesn't like Auto-Tune! [E!]
• Oooh, will Michelle Obama be on the first non-Oprah cover of O magazine? [Liz Smith]
• Harlow Madden will be a big sister! Nicole Richie is pregnant again. [ONTD]
• Guy Ritchie might be dating a film producer on his Sherlock Holmes film, or just, you know, hanging out with a coworker. [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony threw a birthday party for their 1-year-old twins on Saturday in the backyard at their home in Bel Air. A clown was involved. [People]
• Cruz Beckham's birthday looks awesome: He turned four, while dressed as Wolverine, at the Xtreme Martial Arts World Headquarters in Hollywood. Eva Longoria and nieces attended! [Daily Mail]
• During his speech at the Independent Spirit Awards, Mickey Rourke said Eric Roberts "is the fucking man and he deserves another chance." No one seems sure why he felt the need to make this point. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Prince Harry and Natalie Imbruglia: Flirting via text message? [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, in a new documentary, a journalist says of Prince William: "He's doing almost nothing. I'm sorry, but as second in line of succession to the throne, he really should be doing more." [Telegraph]
• In this video, Rosario Dawson talks about her mother licking her in public. Yeah. She's traumatized by spit. There's more, about lesbians/sex/virginity. [NY Times]
• Slade Smiley, from Real Housewives Of Orange County, has been arrested. It's a civil contempt charge. [UPI]
• Al Pacino will play Salvador Dali in a new film; but not the same one in which Antonio Banderas will play Dali or the one in which Robert Pattinson plays Dali. Who will be more surreal? [Daily Express]
• Freida Pinto's ex is still talking about how Slumdog Millionaire wrecked their relationship, and how upset he is that Freida is getting close to Dev Patel: "Now everywhere I go I see them on billboards. I am devastated." This is from the paper that loves to shame women, don't forget. [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Salman Rushdie hated Slumdog, saying it "piles impossibility on impossibility." [AP]
• Bruce Springsteen will headline this summer's Glastonbury festival, bringing "Born In The USA" to the UK. [Telegraph]
• Is Michael Jackson making a comeback? He's reportedly in talks to do 30 live shows in London or Las Vegas later this year. Then again, a couple of weeks ago, he was reportedly dying. [NY Daily News]
• In this Q&A, Matt Groening talks about changing the main titles of The Simpsons: "We're always throwing in what we call Black Bart gags, where Bart is writing on the blackboard, and we switch little things around. Lisa's saxophone solo switches." [NY Post]
• Richard Gere and his wife have opened up an inn. They are innkeepers now. Do with this what you will. [NY Mag]
• The creative director and global business strategist of INXS, Chris Murphy, swears they did not dump their lead singer JD Fortune from the band in the middle of a busy airport. [News.com.au]
• Debbie Gibson's house in the Hollywood Hills is for sale and photos reveal that there is a mirrored piano in the living room and a 7-up can by the bathroom sink. [The Real Estalker]
• Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke had a sports-themed baby shower, if you care. [People]
• "I've been through a lot. I can't sleep, sometimes I wake up at night. I still see him." — Housekeeper Teresa Solomon, who found Heath Ledger dead more than a year ago. [News.com.au]
• "My intention is to be Prime Minister of Canada, not Governor General, which is mainly a ceremonial position." — William Shatner. [PR-Inside]
• "Some beautiful women are passive in the bedroom. They're gorgeous, they know they're gorgeous and they don't feel the need to do anything beyond being gorgeous. Elizabeth Taylor was not one of those women. Being with her was like sticking an eggbeater in your brain." — from an essay by Robert Wagner. [Daily Mail]
• "There's a lot of gay people that dress better than me… No, I just think it's a stereotype that all gay people dress good, and then it's also a stereotype that if you dress good, you're gay." — Kanye West. [NY Mag]
• "I think about it; because I am effeminate I've always thought about it, 'Am I gay?' And then, I so love being with women, and I so love women's bodies and all that. I think, well no, I can't be. But sometimes I think it would just be simpler if I was, because everyone thinks I am. I'm quite camp, but no, I don't think I am. If I was gay, I would just get on with it. But definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with women with a man." — David Walliams of Little Britain. [Guardian]
• "From the first day I met her, she said, 'I want us to be friends and I want you to know that you are a huge part of our family and are welcome any time.' She has been as good as her word. Dad and I have had our ups and downs over the years but Catherine is someone who has cemented the family together. She and Dad were in Los Angeles two weeks ago because he got some sort of lifetime achievement award and we all went out to dinner. I've never seen my father as happy as he is with her. It's cool to see." — Cameron Douglas on Catherine Zeta-Jones being good for his dad, Michael Douglas. [Daily Mail]
• "It's always great to rehearse on a plane, because people think you're mad… Emotionality is really easy for me. My father always said that Fondas can cry at a good steak. And so on a personal and professional level it's great for me not to have to do that." — Jane Fonda , 71 (?!?) on her role in Broadway show 33 Variations. (The show is being protested by Vietnam vets.) [NY Times, UPI]
• "I have decided to freeze myself when I die. You know, cryonics. You pay a lot of money and you get stuck in a deep freeze once you've been declared dead. Medical science is bound to work out a way of bringing us back to life in the next century or so, and I want to be available when they do. I would be doing the nation an invaluable service." — Simon Cowell. [Daily Mail]
• "[Partying] is what I do for a living. I get paid to go to events and parties, and it's fun." — Paris Hilton. [Gatecrasher]

Kristof continues:

In Darfur and eastern Chad, you can randomly approach any group of people and find heartbreaking stories. Mr. Clooney was clowning around with a group of boys bathing in the river - taking their photo and showing it to them digitally - and that's when we met the 13-year-old boy with the bullet in his knee.

[NY Times]

David Scheffer, who served under Clinton as the U.S. ambassador at large for war crimes issues, writes in the LA Times that, in this case, there is more than enough evidence to show that Bashir is using rape to not just oppress the women in Darfur but to exterminate their ethic groups.

Moreno-Ocampo bases his charge that Bashir is committing genocide through the orchestrated and targeted use of rape as a weapon of war based on two rarely-used ways of eliminating an ethnic group or people:

"causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group" or "deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part."

Although the mass-rapes in Darfur are not as fast-acting a method of genocide as killing everyone in the area, they do accomplish several things that might legitimately end the existence of the Fur, Massalit and Zaghawa ethnic groups. For one, the brutality of the assaults leaves many women infertile, which means that less children can be born. Furthermore, the women contend that they are raped in order to impregnate them with babies of mixed ethnicity who are not accepted as members of their ethnic group, which means that many of the children aren't considered part of the groups that Bashir is trying to destroy. Furthermore, because of the stigma of rape and having a baby fathered by a Janjaweed rapist, Moreno-Ocampo contends that "infanticide and abandonment are common" in Darfur among rape victims, reducing the children born to the ethnic groups targeted for destruction even more.

Scheffer writes of his experience:

In the 1990s, when I was the U.S. ambassador at large for war crimes issues, I met scores of women who had been raped during the atrocities in the Balkans, Sierra Leone, Uganda and the eastern Congo. In most cases, the experience was devastating to their character, their ethnic bonds and often to their physical health. Even if they were still physically able to bear children, these women typically were ostracized from their communities and could not marry their ethnic men. Confronted with these stories, I recognized that mass rape can destroy a substantial part of a group and thus constitute genocide.

He also urges the U.S. to continue blocking efforts by China, Russia and the African Union to block the ICC from issuing an arrest warrant for Bashir, which they claim is for the sake of UN peace keepers in the region. Protecting the peace keepers worked really well in Rwanda, right guys?

Rape As Genocide In Darfur [LA Times]

Rape is a crime that can never be condoned, yet women and girls in conflict situations around the world have been subjected to widespread and deliberate acts of sexual violence. As many of you know, for years, there’s been a debate about whether or not sexual violence against women is a security issue for this forum to address.

I am proud that today, we respond to that lingering question with a resounding yes. This world body now acknowledges that sexual violence in conflict zones is indeed a security concern. We affirm that sexual violence profoundly affects not only the health and safety of women, but the economic and social stability of their nations.

Which is totally great and something none of us would potentially expect being said by the foreign policy mouthpiece of an Administration that led us into a war under false pretenses but, you know, bygones. McCain's got to get women to vote for him, after all.

Unfortunately for the resolution, it's not got a lot in the way of teeth: "Specifically, the resolution requests that the Secretary General prepare an action plan for collecting information on the use of sexual violence in situations of armed conflict and then reporting that information periodically to the Council." Great, well, I think that's kind of what the Fourth Estate has already been doing, whether it's reporting on the increasingly prevalence of rape in Darfur or using historical records to document the brutality visited upon German women 60 years ago or any of the other known examples cited in Rice's speech or left out. Does the world really not recognize that rape is used as a weapon in a time of war? Does it have to be defined as an issue of national security before we give a shit about it? And, while it is important to call attention to the issue, do the women of the world need to be studied before they are protected?

Sexual Violence Is Security Issue, Rice Tells U.N. [Reuters]
Thematic Debate on Women, Peace, and Security [U.S. State Department]
Rape A Way Of Life For Darfur's Women [CNN]
The Russians in Germany [Harvard University Press]

• Donatella Versace loves Hillary Clinton but thinks she should dress more like Donatella Versace if she wants to nab the presidency. [Vogue UK]
  
• But forget politics — where are we, Washington D.C.? — Donatella would much rather meet Martha Stewart. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• This week on Ugly Betty, recently fired ELLE fashion director Nina Garcia will appearing alongside Project Runway winner Christian Siriano. But in the season finale, ELLE's Nina-ousters Robbie Myers and Joe Zee will be appearing on the show, in a storyline featuring a softball game. Needless to say, this would seem to indicate a rapproachment on the level with Nixon meeting Mao, except when you remember that the common goal is not being on TV. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• How the fuck did Heidi Montag's clothing line outsell Victoria Beckham's at Kitson's? [TMZ]

• Bummer: Frances Bean Cobain is not going to be the next face of Chanel. [Vogue UK]
• Meta: ubermodel Liya Kebide is set to play supermodel Waris Durie in the upcoming bipic beased on Durie's autobiography. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Best headline ever: "Louis Vuitton Sues Darfur Fundraiser." [TorrentFreak]
• More from the wonderful Simon Doonan: "Basically I don't know anybody that remembers just the hallmark moments where you are riding a Victorian bicycle around trying to catch butterflies. There may be people who remember that but I think the medical emergencies and the crazy outfits always trump that stuff. Hence, the emphasis [in his writing] on things like flying dentures, prostitutes, medical emergencies and freak accidents." [Vogue UK]
• What's it like to be Madonna's makeup artist? Says Gina Brooke, "Usually on certain jobs you walk in and go, "OK, this is my idea." She's like, "No, this is my idea, and then you guys give me what you've got." [BellaSugar]
• Designer Cynthia Rowley's advice to graduates of Marymount University's fashion design and merchandising students, "If I can do it, you can do it." Gee, that's helpful. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Designer Ralph Rucci: Honorary Jezebel? "I think we're in a state of mediocrity. Magazines are totally unrelatable to what you look like...To show a garment that's difficult to wear, that just has a concept to it, is not fashion." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Mazel tov, probably, to Giorgio Armani who is rumored to be receiving France's Legion of Honor medal next month. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Solar Bag! So you can, um, recharge your cell phone using your handbag. [WWD, 1st item]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Now shilling man make-up. [NYMag]
• Avon profits are on the rise. This surely has something to do with the price of oil but we're too tired to come up with a silly theory. [Reuters]

• A fight broke out on the set of Pharrell's new video a few hours before Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson showed up. Oh, and the N.E.R.D. song, "Everybody Nose," is about girls waiting on line for a club bathroom to do coke. [Page Six]
  
• Hey, guess who is making a cameo appearance in that video about cocaine? Your girl Lindsay! Classy. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Contrary to earlier reports, a source says Lindsay's album is on track to be released this fall. [People]
  
• As previously reported, Anne Hathaway's boyfriend, Italian property developer Raffaelo Follieri, was arrested for trying to pass a bad check for $250,000. [People]
  
• Also as previously reported: Naomi Campbell was arrested after a kerfluffle at Heathrow's Terminal 5, after a dispute involving a missing piece of luggage. Since Terminal 5 opened last week, more than 28,000 bags have been separated from their owners. Naomi is out on bail and must report to the police station in late May. [Yahoo News]
  
• There's some new strain of medical marijuana people are calling "Tom Cruise Purple" and guess whose lawyers are investigating? Spoil sport. [Rush & Molloy]

• Are Beyoncé and Jay-Z getting married today? [Mirror]
• It seems like they are! Guests must wear ivory and the location was not on the invitation. [Concrete Loop]
• Madonna's new video, "4 Minutes," is out! Watch Madge and Justin Timberlake undulate and flirt! [People]
• Officials in Malawi are backing Madonna's effort to adopt David Banda, which looks like a go — we'll know when she visits the country next week. [Mirror]
• Prince William and girlfriend Kate Middleton were seen dancing, giggling and kissing at a charity event with a burlesque theme. Is he gonna marry her or what? [People]
• Nicolas Cage has won libel action against the Daily Mail and actress Kathleen Turner over false allegations that he'd been arrested for drunk driving and had stolen a dog. [Guardian]
• George Clooney's request for a writing credit on new film Leatherheads was denied by the Writers Guild, so Clooney has withdrawn from the union. [Reuters]
• "Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don't think like that. I never have expectations like, 'When I'm 19 I'm going to do this, and by the time I've hit 25 I'm going to do that'. I just take things as they come, each day at a time, and if things happen then all well and good." — Renee Zellweger. [ONTD]
• Kate Moss and Agyness Deyn are in a spat, yawn. [Mirror]
• Scott Storch had trouble getting into a club and it made the papers. [Page Six]
• Maya Angelou is turning 80 this weekend, so Oprah is throwing her a huge three-day party in Palm Beach! Perhaps our invitation was lost in the mail? [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny collapsed on the way to the Nylon anniversary party she was supposed to be hosting due to a viral infection. [Page Six]
• Mick Jagger wears Nikes with platform soles so he can measure up to his 6 foot 2 girlfriend L'Wren Scott. You make a grown man cry! [Page Six]
• Heather Mills is moving to New York. Sigh. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Yoko Ono is sympathetic to Heather Mills. "It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles," Yoko says. [Mirror]
• Shanna Moakler, former Miss USA and ex of Blink 182's Travis Barker, is now datng Jay Grdina, Jenna Jameson's ex. Romantic. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which publicist for the wife of one of Hollywood's biggest old school action stars doubles as a rep for her skin-care range? A journalist who recently expressed polite interest in the line was offered the chance to buy some." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which proud new papa cheated on his fiancée two years ago with a famous starlet? The two were hanging at a private bash in his apartment when the mood turned a little lustful." [Rush & Molloy]
• Really? More Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild photos? So over it. [TMZ]
• 50 Cent's baby mama wants to stay in her $2.4 million Long Island mansion even thought 50 owns the house and they split up years ago. [TMZ]
• Kelly Ripa says she's "so excited" for Kathie Lee Gifford's stint on the Today show. Babe, you're the only one. [People]
• Former ANTM contestant Yaya has been cast on All My Children. Act with your eyes! [ONTD]
• Hulk Hogan is "very happy" with his new girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, who is — surprise! — a busty blonde, much like his wife. And daughter. [People]
• During the first week of the Beijing Olympics, Mia Farrow will be in Darfur, protesting China's involvement in that region of Africa. [Yahoo News]
• Kevin Federline has spent $50,489 in Vegas over an eight-month period. Guess who pays his credit card bills? The "Bank Of Britney." [TMZ]
• Britney and her mom went shopping at Ed Hardy for birthday presents for Jamie Lynn — today is JLS's 17th birthday. [People]
• Will Britney return to How I Met Your Mother? [USA Today]
• Survey says: No. [ONTD]

Or maybe because she is not that intellectually curious and therefore lacks opinions that might lead her into something more meaningful!

Portman seemed to know enough about her subject — but no more than enough. I asked if she had the time to read books on economic development. Portman giggled and said, "I have time; I just don't want to."

That's not hard to fathom; Portman is a 26-year-old movie star. Still, she thinks of her discovery of poverty, and of this particular solution to it, as a pivot point in her life. She has stopped doing commercials. "I want to be comfortable and proud of everything I do," Portman says. She has designed a line of vegan shoes. She doesn't want to be controversial, but she does want to be taken seriously.

The Celebrity Solution [NYT Magazine]

China will certainly appear, to the millions who attend its utterly whitewashed, coalfire/street people/industrial belch-free/parallel universe-inhabiting Olympic Games, to be not so bad. And shit, on a historical scale or compared alongside conditions in much of the Third World, that's true. But for the same 1.5 billion reasons guys like Spielberg are so transfixed by the place, women like Mia Farrow — and Angelina Jolie and George Clooney, who is not a woman but maybe we could make him an honorary one for this purpose — are doing their public duty as famous people who know lots of other famous people, to look out for less famous ones. I love you, Mia Farrow, and I'm glad you didn't need to have anyone's legs broken over this; the power of your message seemed to be enough.

Spielberg Quits [Washington Post]
MiaFarrow.org
Script Issues Block Cusack Film From Shooting In China [USA Today]

• "Either give them the basic tools for protecting the population and themselves, or have the decency to just bring them all home. Because you can't do it halfway. Bring them home and shut off your TV and your radio and your phones and the Internet and go back into the offices and wait until it's all over." That's George Clooney, on Darfur. Also, the UN rescinded its invitation to speak so he was stuck telling reporters what he wished he could have said. [LA Times]
  
• Just what is so wrong with a former president going to lick the ass of a nefarious dictator under the guise of helping ppl with AIDS when really he was helping a friend land an insanely lucrative long-shot uranium deal so said friend would donate $131 million to his charity that helps ppl with AIDS?
  
• Well see, while Bill Clinton was in Kazakhstan telling them he hoped they would land the leadership of some regional security thing, the wife back home was writing letters to the State Department aout how they should prevent Kazakhstan from achieving that, so...it just kind of looks like they don't talk enough? [NYT]
  
• Esp since the same thing sort of happened the year earlier w. Dubai? [WSJ]
  
• Obama is the most liberal senator according to the National Journal, which ranks Hillary #16. You'd think this might lead to that "substantive discussion of the issues you all have so been longing for," but I think you have to pay them lots of money for them to tell you how they calculate this shit. [National Journal]

• "We've learned that a good or a bad president can make the difference between war and peace." [NY Times]
• And the difference between a $2 trillion budget and a $3 trillion one! [WSJ]
• A second opposition leader in Kenya has been killed. Government leaders say it was a crime of passion that had to do with some sort of love triangle, but...uh...[NYT]
• McCain, Rudy and the Governator triangulate Hillary's "green collar" thing; Obama raised $32 million. [Wash Post]
• Money means nothing. [Talking Points Memo
• Did Bill Clinton just speak a painful and politically unpopular truth about how money means nothing if we can't do what's best for the country over the long term? [ABC News]
• And don't forget tonight's debate in Hell-Ay! [WSJ]

• Is smoking weed a guy thing? Charlize Theron and her homemade apple bong beg to differ! While we can think of plenty of female stoners we know personally, we're not too big on the ganj ourselves. The munchies are a brutal affront to bikini season. [The Stranger]
  
• Breast density and high levels of circulating sex hormones have largely gone hand in hand as risk factors for breast cancer, however a new study shows that they are independent risk factors as well. Of course they are. God forbid we actually get some good news about our tits. [NY Times]
  
• Seriously, can we please shut the fuck up about all this girls love the color pink nonsense and spend our super experimentation funds on something useful, like finding out why men like to leave nasty wet towels on the bed? Thanks. Also, we like orange. [Guardian]
  
• The UN has released an extremely disturbing report about sexual crimes against women in Darfur, mostly committed by soldiers and government militia. Everyone should read it. Yes, that means you. [NEWS.com.au]

• Kids with incarcerated moms can go to summer camp at the clink so that mom can prove she's still is a good role model, even after busting a cap in someone's ass. Great news for Foxy Brown! [NY Times]
• Iranian-American academic Haleh Esfandiari was finally released from an Iranian jail yesterday, but has not been given permission to leave the country. What's kind of odd is that Ms. Edfandiari's elderly mother, who lives off her dead husband's pension, put up the $300,000+ bail money, rather than Edfandiari's own husband. WTF? [NY Times]
• A woman in Russia, who was cohabitating with her ex-husband — a common practice in the country because of insane housing prices — set fire to his penis as he sat naked on the couch watching TV and drinking vodka. OMG, is it bad that we kind of sort of giggled? [Reuters]
• Washington Post reporter Carl Bernstein sums up Hillary Clinton's political life over the last 40 years — biggest (not-so-much-a) shocker? Bill's been foolin' around on her since before they were married. [AlterNet]
• Republican Mitt Romney has been spewing some rather covert anti-birth control rhetoric to his most right wing supporters. Okay, so if birth control is bad because it stops the egg and the sperm from meeting, isn't jerking off in the shower every morning a bunch of little abortions, you stupid prick? [Baltimore Sun]
• Congratulations, Plan B, on Your First Anniversary! Sure wish we could have met that one day last summer, when we forgot our ID at home and the pharmacist told us you weren't available unless we could prove that our old face was indeed over 18. [Salon]
• This is cool: the newly formed Afghan Midwives Association recruits and trains midwives to help combat the country's high maternal mortality rate. Poor women caring for other poor women, now that's feminism. [Our Bodies Our Blog]

• Mia Farrow is offering to give up her own freedom for that of a Sudanese rebel under hospital arrest. Is she for real or is this just some empty offer to prove once that she's a better person than Angelina? Either way, she is equal parts insane and awesome. [Telegraph]
  
• The NY Times says the Japanese have no love for women in the workforce, while last week, the Wall Street Journal claimed Japanese companies are all about wooing female executives. Clearly major news publications aren't above a little US Weekly/InTouch naysaying. [NYTimes, WSJ]
  
• We long for the days when all it took to fit in at the country club was one trophy child. This competitive birthing nonsense really takes away from our Bliss schedule. [NPR]

• Another thing making our cooter hurt? Natural birth! Luckily, for the cost of $700, women can have their very own Greek doula in the birthing room with them. Or your insurance can just pay for the epidural and you can lazily push your baby out while watching Oprah. Whatever. [CNN]
• Apparently, judging by this article, Nicole Richie is more of a wannarexic than an actual Ana - since she's just fat enough to get her period and all. [Newsday]
• Weddings are a happy occasion that even a band of Islamic militants can't ruin. [CS Monitor]
• The only thing we knew about autism was that Scientologists don't believe the condition exists. This article in the NY Times Magazine opened our eyes, tugged at our heart strings, and made us hate those stupid Xenu freaks even more than we already do. [NY Times]
• A bad ass waitress in New Hampshire calls out Mitt Romney on health care in front of diner filled with customers and it was all caught on video. We heart her and leave her a virtual big tip! [Washington Post]
• A cervical cancer test you can do at home - great for the third world and for us, when our Cobra insurance runs out. [Reuters]
• Despite having a one child law, the Chinese government doesn't want to beat people over the head with it with signs like "Raise fewer babies but more piggies." Cause coerced abortions are so much nicer. [MSNBC]
• A disturbing percentage of women aren't getting regular pap smears. C'mon ladies, make friends with your gynecologist! She won't bite, just swab. [LA Times]
• In our sixth grade sex ed class, we learned how to put a condom on a banana. It was so gross, we stayed a virgin until we were 20! On the flip side, abstinence education apparently doesn't do diddly to stop teenagers from bumping uglies, getting pregnant, and transmitting STDS. [News-Medical]
• Brits aren't educating their teens either. Under-18 abortions are on the rise in the UK as well, including one girl who has had six. SIX! Seriously, Yasmin needs to sponsor her, NOW. [The Sun, Daily Mail]