Danny Boyle, the director who brought us the 2012 London Olympics as well as that moment in Trainspotting when Ewen Bremmer (Spud) literally shits the bed, has a new movie coming out about hypnotism, art heists, and Vincent Cassel being evil. Trance also features Boyle's recent ex Rosario Dawson as a possibly…

Although Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston, Chandler Bing and that duck called a truce at some point, as Brangelina's and Jenreaux's (?) marriages draw nearer, threatening to even land sort of around the same time, some obvious problems become apparent.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, famous sexpert and pint-sized Twitter savant, could not belieeeeeeve it when Ryan Lochte's mom Ike said in an interview that he only had time to "go out on one-night stands" with women in an interview. So, as one is wont to do in trying times like these, Dr. Ruth immediately released some…

• Amanda Bynes has retired from acting — via Twitter.

• Cameron Diaz: Wants sex. Will travel.

• Paris Hilton's dogs live better than you do. She posted pictures via Twitter of their doghouse—for her 13 purse-sized dogs—that was designed as a mini version of her own home. [Daily Mail]

• Kate Winslet tells Allure that when filming The Reader, she had to regrow her pubic hair:

• Nadya Suleman is finally getting a "quasi-reality" show. She's reportedly "hoping to have an arrangement whereby several events in the children's lives would be filmed in a documentary series," says her attorney, Jeff Czech. [JustJared]

• Chris Brown has publicly addressed the Rihanna assault for the first time in a short YouTube video. He says he's working on a new album, Grafitti, and he'll release a new single this summer. He says: "Everybody that's haters, they've just been haters..."

• Sadness: Slumdog Millionaire actress Rubina Ali has allegedly been placed up for adoption sale by her father, who offered the girl to an undercover reporter posing as a sheik for roughly 270,000 pounds. [DailyMail]

• Angelina Jolie started working on Salt yesterday, and her character, rogue CIA operative Evelyn A. Salt, has a couple of different looks:

• Hugh Jackman called Ricky Gervais to "brainstorm jokes" for the Oscars. Will Jackman bring the funny as well as the song and dance? [EW]

• Uh oh! Super Olympian Michael Phelps has been caught on film smoking a bong. Phelps, 23, was reportedly visiting a University of South Carolina sorority girl and apparently "ended up just getting wasted every night."[Star]

• Alan Cumming thinks that our new President, Barack Obama, has a large, ahem, unit:

• Joaquin Phoenix's rap career: An elaborate hoax? Sort of.

• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony had trouble getting into the Neighborhood Ball last night, because they were late. You gotta get there before the President! [Page Six]