And just like that, you’ve ruined Idris Elba’s career.

In the midst of those emails between Sony executives concluding that black actors don't play well overseas, it seems Idris Elba is an outlier—a particularly sexy outlier. Embattled Sony Head Amy Pascal declared via email that the Brit should be the next James Bond.

Ooooh! British hunk triangle from nine years ago! HOW TITILLATING. As part of the News of the World phone-tapping trial, a voicemail from Sienna Miller to Daniel Craig was played in court. While she was still engaged to Jude Law, Miller apparently left Craig a voicemail telling him, "Hi, it's me. I can't speak, I'm at…

There is so much going on with Idris Elba lately, and that's a very good thing, because now we finally have an excuse to post this photo and stare at it for awhile.

Defying a long, proud line of crotchety James Bonds romancing women young enough to be their children, Penélope Cruz has reportedly been cast as the lastest Bond girl opposite Daniel Craig in Sam Mendes' Skyfall follow-up, Bond 24.

Queen of Controversy M.I.A. is currently embroiled in a vicious custody battle over her 4-year-old son, Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman, with her estranged ex-fiancé Benjamin Bronfman, the environmentalist son of Seagram heir Edgar Bronfman Jr. (and part of the younger generation of almost-too-cool dilettante-ish…

Remember when a micro-violin had to be specially made and tuned to assuage Washington Post columnist Richard Coen's anxiety about how James Bond's screen evolution from slack-limbed inebriate to P90X infomercial model meant that cantankerous old lechers like Richard Coen might no longer be able to impress attractive…

There's no boner-killer quite so potent as a visit from "Aunt Period Blood," IF YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. Isn't that right, Billy-Bob Thornton? Oh...no!?!? You like having sex with hot ladies even if their vagina is doing something totally natural that most vaginas do 20% of the time? Do tell!

Last week there was a news item from The Hollywood Reporter regarding the possibility that David Fincher's next film might be Gone Girl. But wasn't he supposed to be working on The Girl Who Played With Fire?

Kate Winslet loves Ned Rocknroll, so put another dime in the jukebox, baby. Ugrghhhhh, that sucked, but all the good puns were taken! Mr. and Mrs. Winslet-Rocknroll—who have been engaged since the summer and already share a $3 million house in the English countryside—got married in at top-secret ceremony in New York,…

Seriously. Check the math. (DON'T CHECK THE MATH.) Unfortunately, it is also 8,000,000,000 times more boring than their actual marriage—which was, statistically, the most boring human activity in recorded memory. Anyhoo, Kim Kardashian is still trying to get the divorce finalized, but Kris Humphries refuses to…

In the immortal words of the classic holiday song: Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but Jessica Simpson is pregnant. It's been seven months and at least 109 headlines since the birth of Maxwell Drew and Simpson's subsequent public struggle to drop the baby weight/become a momshell/shed her human form/whatever…

BREAKING! Cranky old man confronted by an idealized male physique in the form of Daniel Craig's James Bond, experiences hurt feelings over the fact that the universe doesn't revolve around his self esteem, writes whole big column about it. A waahmbulance has been called to the scene.

In the latest shocking divorce news, Mayim Bialik announced on the parenting blog Kveller that, after nine years of marriage, she and Michael Stone will be parting ways, but she assured the public that her enthusiasm for "attachment parenting" had nothing to do with the split. "The hands-on style of parenting we…

Alpha males Robert De Niro and Jay-Z's squabbling almost ruined Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday party for everyone. De Niro let Hova have it for mentioning that he'd be willing to record a song for the Tribeca Film Festival and then failing to return any of De Niro's calls to follow through. Jay-Z tried to joke about it…

More than 400,000 people have signed an online petition demanding that Macy's fire human ocarina Donald Trump from their ad campaign and remove his merchandise from their stores. Signers object to Trump's obsession with the "racially charged birther conspiracy" and his frequent calls for overthrow of the…

I mean, believe me, lady. We're all hoping that Cee Lo does not turn out to be a sex criminal, so that he can go on being a 400% lovable Weeble person cranking out hilarious nonstop jams. BUT. I'm not sure your position as "eliminated former Voice contestant" qualifies you to soothsay about criminal penis activity. Of…