• It's Complicated's Alec Baldwin has amazing body image. "I have a great ass, if I may say so. That's a part of my body that needs no surgical enhancement or rearranging." But when it comes to cosmetic surgery, Baldwin says:

"I'm not saying I wouldn't do something! I intend to do something, I probably will. Let's put it this way: I wouldn't rule it out because... You don't think I wake up every day and wish I looked like this and this and this? But I can't let that bother me." Costar Meryl Streep is not convinced: "If you've ever even contemplated that stuff and looked at what can go wrong in any of those magazines, it's terrifying!" [Us via Entertainment Weekly ]

• Oooh! Julianne Moore on 30 Rock! Maybe as Alec Baldwin's love interest! [E!]
• Britney Spears' Australian tour has yet to begin, but it's already controversial: People have heard she'll be lip-syncing, and they are not happy. [AFP, Sydney Morning Herald]
• The Michael Lohan mess continues! Now Lindsay has Twittered, "Haha he's needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN." In response, Michael says: "Lindsay is grasping at straws and when she gets angry she lashes out." And! "I want her to go into rehab." Yeah. We know. [RadarOnline]
• Lindsay also Tweeted that her father is a "loser" and, in reference to her mom, says: "She blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did." Michael Lohan responds: "That's a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I'm going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies. No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her. Because she's forsaken everything He's given her and she's done nothing but misuse all the gifts she's given." [Page Six, ABC News]
• Want video of Michael Lohan saying Lindsay lies and so on? You got it. [Radar Online]
• Speaking of Michael Lohan, he and Hailey Glassman are among the witnesses TLC plans to subpoena in a breach of contract lawsuit filed against Jon Gosselin. That should be fun. [People, Radar Online]
• OMG OMG! The White House will host an episode of Iron Chef America, and contestants will use food from Michelle Obama's garden! [NY Daily News]
• Levi Johnston is pissed that William Shatner read his Tweets on The Tonight Show. His rep released a statement which reads: "My client, Levi Johnston, is being impersonated on your media (Twitter) and this is leading to libel and slanderous statements being attributed to him. ... We want you to put an immediate end to this illegal activity. ... You are being used as a medium to promote this illegality and we want immediate action." Etc., etc., etc. [ET, TMZ]
• Levi Johnston went shopping for hockey gear. For his ten-month-old son, Tripp. [ET]
• Levi Johnston is getting an award from our sister site, Fleshbot. [E!]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod celebrated the Yankees' win by partying late. [NY Daily News]
• Will Oprah move her show from Chicago to L.A.? In a word: No. Not in the immediate future, anyway. But since her network, OWN, supposedly launches next year, she may move the show. But a source calls the OWN company "rudderless." [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Oprah Winfrey is removing gospel singer BeBe Winans from her show's 'karaoke challenge' until charges against him for allegedly pushing his ex-wife to the ground are resolved." [AP]
• Colin Farrell's sex tape has come back to haunt him, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's family. [Irish Central]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are house-hunting together, if you care. [People]
• As you may have read in Midweek Madness, the stripper who claims she hooked up with Josh Duhamel claims that they fell asleep together after doing the deed, but "he kept waking her up for more sex." [Us]
• Awww: Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle says Freida Pinto and Dev Patel are "soul mates." [Mirror]
• Um, David Gest plans to hold a seance tonight to attempt to contact Michael Jackson. You know who Gest needs to contact? A good hairdresser, because there is something WRONG. [The Sun]
• Kevin Spacey made a joke about Simon Van Kempen, Alex McCord and Ramona Singer of the Real Housewives of NYC, but they didn't think it was funny. [Gatecrasher]
• A suicide prevention group is not happy about the scene in The Office when Michael tries to scare kids by hanging from a noose. [AP]
• Jesse James is ordering his ex-wife to leave new wife Sandra Bullock out of their custody battle. Sandra has been helping Jesse raise his 5-year-old daughter ever since January, when Jesse's ex-wife — porn star Janine Lindemulder — wen to jail for tax evasion. [People]
• Mean! Sharon Osbourne thinks that Susan Boyle "looks like a hairy [bleep]hole." [Page Six]
• Spotted: Paula Abdul bawling at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert saw Bob Woodruff trying to tape an interview with Bruce Springsteen near a bathroom, so, naturally, Colbert flushed the toilet every time Bruce started to talk. [Page Six]
• Kevin Federline certainly likes to procreate. The National Enquirer is reporting hat his girlfriend is pregnant. That's K-Fed's fifth kid. [Perez]
• "Morgan Freeman has settled a lawsuit related to a 2008 car accident that seriously injured him and a passenger, according to court records posted Thursday." [USA Today]
• Pamela Anderson has been living in a trailer while her home was being worked on. "I moved there because I was waiting for this damn house to be built in this posh part of Malibu — then I realized I was so much happier." But now she's ready to move back into her house, although, she says: "The kids don't want to leave." [Daily Express]
• MTV host Alexa Chung celebrated her birthday with Agyness Deyn, cake, and ice cream. [Page Six]
• James Gandolfini doesn't like it when you film him without his consent. In this video, he tells a guy with a camera, "I'm gonna break your fucking face." Jeez. Do not make Tony Soprano mad! [Gothamist]
• Whatshername's kid is okay and out of the hospital. [The Sun]
• "Being out and just open: It's very liberating. Now I don't have to dance around anything. I don't have to think 'Well, if I say that, they're going to figure this out and that's going to lead to this.' Now, everything is out on the table. I don't have anything to hide; I can be even bolder." — Wanda Sykes. [USA Today]
• "There's that saying, what other people think of me is none of my business? But I don't really care. And I've dined with my heroes, man. If we're talking about comedians and people that have taken shots at me, I don't get it. I don't get that, 'cause I know that the Chris Rocks and the Steve Martins and the Billy Cosbys and the Rodney Dangerfields, guys that I loved, embraced me. Other comics, what people deem 'alt comics,' a lot of them have egg on their face 'cause they're now making talking-animal movies. 'Cause they sold out hard-core. And they have to answer to their fans now - 'Hey, I took a shot at Dane,' but you're in Alvin and the Chipmunks. And you know what? More power to you. You did a movie that goes against what you preached, and what you hard-core vehemently nailed me on. I know you got a kid to feed. You might have a sick mom that you have to take care of. And that's okay. I'm not gonna take your legs out from under you. But I am aware that you put your head in your pillow, and maybe you should have bit your tongue a little bit." — Dane Cook. [NY Mag]
• "I've done a few things, playing around with the OCD thing — when I leave my house I do a few things just to see what that's like. It's fun — you just have to maintain a real level of stillness. There's an air of confidence that comes through that stillness which dictates on the character so it's been a fun ride." — Dominic Monaghan pretends he has OCD because he plays a character with OCD on FlashForward. [Mirror]
• "Pepsi has created a soda that has Viagra in it. It's not going to be called a soft drink anymore." — Bruce Springsteen. [Gatecrasher]
• "I wouldn't have made it on that show. The pressure is unbelievable. Success wasn't measured back then as it is today — it took us three albums to make it big and I don't think they would have let happen now." — Jon Bon Jovi on X Factor. [Telegraph]
• "We are not supposed to still be here." — Jon Bon Jovi on being in the biz for 25 years. [BBC News]
• "I'm gonna get in trouble for this, but I don't watch any of the shows! The only show that I've seen anything on was a couple episodes of Atlanta and that's because I'm really good friends with [Atlanta's] NeNe and she was telling me about something and I was like, 'Oh, that sounds juicy. I gotta watch it!' I just developed a makeup line called Gretchen Christine Beaute and I'm working on the Gretchen Project and I just don't have time to watch TV — it's hard enough to get me to sit down and watch the show I'm on! I already have enough drama, obviously, in my life, so I don't need to watch the drama of the other ones." — O.C. Real Housewife Gretchen. [PopWrap]
• "I just finished writing a script and I am trying to get funding and casting for it, believe it or not. It's called We and it's a love story… It is two parallel love stories told from a woman's point of view, obviously. One is a historical story that took place with the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. And the other is one I made up about a couple in New York." — Won't you please fund Madonna's film career? [Daily Express]
• "No more farm animals — and no more children!" — George Clooney. [CNN]

• A car lost control this weekend and hit Bret Michaels' tour bus on a highway in Canada, causing a five car pile up. No one was injured. [People]

• Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, was not licensed to prescribe medication in California. A federal law enforcement official said, "Dr. Murray has DEA registration numbers in Nevada and Texas, but he does not have one in California. You absolutely have to have a registration number to prescribe controlled substances, and there was nothing in California." It has been reported that Murray gave MJ Demerol or Oxycontin. He released a statement today through his lawyer saying, "Dr. Murray didn't prescribe or administer anything that should have killed Michael Jackson." [Fox News]
• A California judge ruled that attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain, who were both named in Michael Jackson's will should oversee his estate instead of his mother Katherine Jackson. [NY Post]
• A family source says Michael Jackson's kids have been mostly isolated from media reports of their father's death. "They've been with their grandmother ever since and she's doing everything she can to protect them from all the media focus," the friend said. "They aren't even close to processing all of this. They are probably years away from that, really. But they're doing OK." [MSNBC]
• Mariah Carey will perform "I'll Be There" at Michael Jackson's memorial service tomorrow. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe won't attend Michael Jackson's memorial service tomorrow. Her lawyer released this statement: "The onslaught of media attention has made it clear her attendance would be an unnecessary distraction to an event that should focus exclusively on Michael's legacy. Debbie will continue to celebrate Michael's memory privately." [TMZ]
• When paparazzi swarming around Debbie Rowe got too close yesterday she yelled, "Are you ready to have your butt kicked? Don't fucking touch me!" [TMZ]
• Elizabeth Taylor will be hospitalized soon but it has nothing to do with Michael Jackson. She Tweeted: "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe... I will always love Michael from the depth of my being and nothing can separate us" and that she's going to the hospital to complete a test I was in the middle of." [Perez Hilton]
• Reports that Tom Green is in critical condition following a car accident are untrue. Apparently it was just an internet hoax. Once again, celebrity death hoaxes = not hilarious. [BuzzFeed]
• Joyce DeWitt of Three's Company was arrested for DUI on July 4th in El Segundo, California. She allegedly drove past a barricade and failed a sobriety test. She's out on bail. [TMZ]
• You can check out Joyce DeWitt's mug shot here: [TMZ]
• Sharon Stone got into a fight with a flight attendant on a plane headed to Salt Lake City. A witness says, "The flight attendant in Kalispell asked her to gate check her bag and Sharon refused and got into a huge fight with her. They eventually took the bag from her and she screamed at her assistant with her and made a scene during the entire flight." Though her rep denies it, the source says she was met by the police when she got off the plane. [Stylelist]
• Casey Kasem retired this week with little notice, saying on his American Top 20 radio show over the weekend, "We began the weekend of July 4, 1970, and after 39 years this will be our final countdown." [ABC News]
• Rachel Weisz wants her fellow stars to stop using Botox. She says, "It should be banned for actors, as steroids are for sportsmen. Acting is all about expression; why would you want to iron out a frown?" [The Mirror]
• Natalie Imbruglia spoke before the United Nations today urging support for women who have fistulas, a hole in their vagina that results from childbirth without assistance or with complications. The classiest part of this article: the reference to her song "Torn" in the first line. [The Associated Press]
• Aerosmith has postponed three shows because Steven Tyler has an undisclosed injury. Joe Perry Tweeted: "Sincere apologies out 2 all Aero Fans regarding the canceled shows. It really bums me out too- you have no idea. Pray 4 Stevens speedy return." [Rolling Stone]
• Shanna Moakler says, "Travis [Barker] is leaving for tour, my babies are going with him, so I'm getting all prepared. We're lucky that Blink [182] tours are very lavish. We each have our own buses. At the venues, we set up kid rooms so the kids can kind of get out of the buses and start running around. We have a runner to take [them] 'round. They're going to be going to Canada, to see the different parts of the States … so it's pretty exciting." [People]
• Anna Paquin says that dating Stephen Moyer makes their onscreen sex scenes on True Blood easier. "Obviously, if you're already with that person then you're not having to sort of get over the 'Wow, I'm naked with someone that I don't even know the middle name of!'" she says. "I think that regardless of what kind of scene you're doing, the better you know the person ... the more open and real your performance can be," she adds. "And that goes for stunt scenes and heavy emotional scenes and sex scenes. OK, so I have a little bit of a leg up in that particular area with my on-screen [partner]." [People]
• Dane Cook's half brother has been indicted in Massachusetts on 20 counts of larceny for allegedly stealing more than $11 million from Cook over a five-year period. [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne on Lady GaGa: "She's a Butter Face. She has everything But the face. She reminds me of Peaches Geldof. I love Lady GaGa's tracks but I just wish she'd keep her mouth shut. She talks way too much and has too much attitude. It's starting to make me go off her." [The Mirror]
• 16-year-old Miley Cyrus is on the cover of a women's magazine again. This time it's Elle. In the mag she says of her new clothing line with Max Azria for Wal-Mart: "The jeans are my favorite part of the entire line. Because, like, literally this is going to be good for, like, Middle America, and it will be great for kids that really want to be in fashion but that don't have it available." [Just Jared]
• "I turned 50 last year. It came and went and it wasn't a big deal. And it was nice that the anticipation of it was over. Not that I was sitting around dreading it all the time, but it is a big one and you are sort of entering into your second half. You are saying goodbye to your youth, but at the same time you start to look at the glass as half full. At 50, you've lived long enough to have people that you love die and people get really sick and have full-on hard times, so you just take stock and count your blessings. It starts to happen around this age and it has been really liberating for me. 50 isn't just the new 40. It's actually the new 30. Pass it on!" — Michelle Pfeiffer [The Mirror]
• Emma Watson says she's excited about starting college this fall and taking a break from acting. "I'm going to sound really like Hermione Granger, but my comfort - my way of dealing with all of this if I'm ever really stressed - I will go and open a book and sit and read, and that will de-stress me. For me, learning has been my comfort. This is so geeky, but it's what got me through. I love learning and I don't really want to stop. It was always my dream before I did the films, so I didn't see why that had to change." [The Telegraph]

• According to reports from law enforcement sources, Michael Jackson was pronounced dead this afternoon after arriving at the hospital in a coma. He suffered a cardiac arrest in his home, but paramedics were unable to revive him. [L.A. Times]

• On Barbara Walters 20/20 special on Farrah Fawcett tonight Jaclyn Smith will pay tribute to fellow Charlie's Angels star saying, "Kate experienced breast cancer, I experienced breast cancer, and then Farrah, you know, anal cancer. So, Farrah in her humor said, what was it, the water we were drinking?...And we you ... I mean, she, she maintained her humor, which is hard to do in the face of cancer." [ABC News]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to Greg Lott, who is pretending that his Farrah Fawcett website is her official site. He's been writing that Ryan is cheating on Farrah and using drugs and claims to be Farrah's high school sweetheart. Lott took his site down after receiving the letter. [TMZ]
• Kate Walsh's estranged husband Alex Young has filed court papers asking that the President of ABC testify in their divorce about Kate's salary and earning potential. ABC says Young is harassing the network. [TMZ]
• Adam Lambert said of the album he recorded pre-American Idol, "I was hired as a studio singer to lend my vocals to tracks written by someone else ... I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks." However, documents from his old record label list him as the co-writer on 9 out of 11 tracks. [TMZ]
• Leighton Meester will be performing on Saturday at the Santos Party House in New York. [Fashionista]
• Is People's "Hottest Bachelor" Chace Crawford having such a hard time finding a significant other that he needs to speed date? He said, "I want to so bad - I've heard these wonderful things about them, it'd be kind of interesting. I mean, 10 people and you get two minutes? It's like, what's going on? Let's do this." [The Mirror]
• Kelis' lawyer asked a judge to move up the hearing over getting child support from Nas because she may be in labor already on the day its currently scheduled and she needs money badly. [TMZ]
• Daryl McCauley is facing charges for embezzling money from his brother Dane Cook, and now McCauley's wife has been charged as well. Erika McCauley was arraigned today on charges of larceny by scheme and receiving/concealing stolen property. [TMZ]
• You can watch a video of Edie Falco's statements at today's health care rally on Capitol Hill here: [Politico]
• Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls says she did not see Britney Spears once while they were on tour together. "We have busy schedules and she does too and we go on stage at different times in different cities at different times so it's understandable," she said. [Take 40]
• Has Leonardo DiCaprio broken up with Bar Refaeli? He was seen at a club in Hollywood flirting with several women. [E!]
• The small town of Hamburg, New York has proclaimed Friday Def Leppard Day. The band will perform in town tomorrow night. [The Daily Express]
• Land of the Lost is the film people complained about most to the Classification Board of Australia. Parents thought the film was too raunchy for a PG rating. [News.com.au]
• An attorney who doesn't work for the Gosselins says even if they reach a custody agreement, the kids could still be taken off Jon And Kate Plus 8 because, "the long arm of the law will reach in and say, 'I think these kids need a child advocate because people have not been looking out for their best interests." [USA Today]
• Ed Hardy sent a box of clothing to the Gosselins, but so far Jon Gosselin is the only family member seen wearing the shirts. [TMZ]
• Here's an interview with chef Sam Talbot of Top Chef. He says he really is friends with Kelly Killoren Bensimon, his appearance on The Real Housewives of New York wasn't just a gimmick Bravo came up with. [W]
• Liam Gallagher insists that rumors that he's going to be in a movie about a rock band's struggle with sex and drugs are "simply not true." [The Daily Mail]
• Patti Blagojevich said her time in the Costa Rican jungle on I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here was a great diversion from her problems at home. "It was a really welcome break that I didn't know that I needed, but it turned out to be the right thing at the right time for me," she said. [Yahoo]
• Daniel Radcliffe says in many ways he and Harry Potter are similar. "When I started out at the age of 10 or 11," he says, "I was essentially saying the lines as I myself would say them. When I became aware that that's what I was doing, at 13 or 14, it didn't make sense to change, because it would suddenly be a dramatic shift in the character." He adds that when his mother read the sixth Harry Potter book, she noticed that "Harry argues in the kind of irritating, pedantic way that I argue. She thought Harry and I were getting closer and closer together at that point." [Parade]

• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]

• Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight was in a three-car crash yesterday. He was not injured, but two other people were taken to the hospital by ambulance. [LA Times]

• The President Of The United States, Barack Obama, was on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night. He brought lulz (More later). [NY Daily News]
• Barack Obama made a joke about the Special Olympics and for that he is sorry. [NY Daily News]
• Here's a picture of Chris Brown getting off of a private jet and riding a bike around on the tarmac like he's having the time of his life. Raise your hand if it makes you feel stabby. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is narrating a children's book. Cue the ZOMG SHE WANTS BABIEZ headlines. [Gatecrasher]
• Are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel on a fast train to Splitsville? [Perez, Chicago Sun-Times]
• When Beyoncé stopped at Patricia Field the other day, she spent $11,000 in 20 minutes. How come didn't get us anything? [Page Six]
• It's a big weekend at the box office, with lots of stars: Nicolas Cage, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. Plus, Amy Adams's Sunshine Cleaning will move into additional theaters. What to see? [Reuters]
• "Five Reasons Julia Roberts Is Too Old (or Not)." Wait, what? [E!]
• This article asks "Is John Hamburg (the writer/director of I Love You Man) The New Judd Apatow?" [LA Times]
• Actual headline: "Miley Cyrus Shakes Her Ass For Paps." And it's not on Perez! [E!]
• For some reason there is a feud between Chris Jericho and Mickey Rourke. Jericho says when Rourke comes to Wrestlemania, he will "get out of the ring, walk over to Mickey, and slap him in the face." Lame. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is pregnant on The Office. [E!]
• Speaking of The Office, did you dig Idris Elba? He has a Twitter. [EW]
• A Sheryl Crow/Stevie Nicks tour? Maybe! [Gatecrasher]
• There's a new Facebook group called UCLA Students Against James Franco as Commencement Speaker. It's jut mean! [E!]
• Dane Cook's half-brother and former business manager was indicted Thursday on eight counts of larceny; he'd been funneling millions from Cook's business accounts. No joke there. [E!]
• Real Housewives Of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi was spotted making out with Slade Smiley. [TMZ]
• Nick Lachey pitched a reality show to MTV and they liked it! Taking The Stage is about kids at a performing arts school (his alma mater in Cincinnati). Kinda like Fame, if you're old enough to remember hot lunch. [LA Times]
• Debra Messing is named in a lawsuit involving a traffic accident in which her car struck a police officer, even though Messing wasn't driving the car. [TMZ]
• The cast of the new Star Trek flick is heading to Australia; the movie will make its world premiere at the Sydney Opera House on April 7. No word if that guy with the Kirk chair will get to go. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Not only is Vanessa Williams awesome on Ugly Betty, she is working on a new album. "I had been wanting to do a Latin-flavored album since I played a ballroom dancer in the (salsa) movie Dance With Me," Williams says. [USA Today]
• Ooh, Elle Macpherson on TV! The CW show is called Beautiful Life, and she'll okay the owner of a modeling agency, naturally. [Reuters]
• Hmm, Mary J. Blige is joining the cast if the next Tyler Perry movie. Love her; not sure about him. [Reuters]
• Gossip Girl fans: Check out this new clip that's popped up: Chuck vs. Dorota! [People]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley were seen making out all over Miami. Hopefully someday soon we can stop thinking about these semi-famous [E!]
• There is a new romcom in the works called Merman. Yes, it is about a man who is half fish. He "comes to land so he can win back his mermaid fiance, who has left him for a real man." I'm not lying when I say it's produced by the dude who brought you Splash. [EW, Variety]
• Tara Reid has a job! She's been cast in an untitled horror film, in which she will play a mother whose family is terrorized by an unsees presence. [Variety]
• Former Soul Train host Don Cornelius has been sentenced to three years probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor spousal battery. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which engaged young couple shocked an entire film crew when they were caught having sex on set?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item: "Which hip-hop fashion team is taking more credit than it deserves? While most designers acknowledge their assistants do much of the work, this up-and-coming pair accept kudos but never mention the staff in the back who actually make it happen." [Page Six]
• "I remember a performance of The Fantasticks where a mom brought a teenage son with Tourette's syndrome to the show. It was explained to me that because he liked me a lot, it became especially difficult for him to control his outbursts when I came on stage. Every time I said or sang anything, he would snort, howl or bellow some expletive about bodily functions or female anatomy, [and drop] F-bombs." — Kristin Chenoweth, in her memoir, A Little Bit Wicked. [Page Six]
• "I like all the Wii games. Love Guitar Hero. Growing up, I liked Tetris. I even like BrickBreaker on the BlackBerry. [My first console was] a Nintendo. I would play Super Mario Bros. We weren't supposed to play it after nine o'clock, and I would sneak and play all night. I loved it." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• "I had my tonsils taken out [at age 13], and they gave me liquid Vicodin. I found, when I take this, people like me. I'm having fun, I'm not getting picked on. It became a confidence thing." — Kelly Osbourne, who says she is finally completely clean after a month in rehab. [People]
• "I am shirtless and I have back hair in Observe And Report, and it's glorious. They did have me shave my back for Knocked Up. Judd Apatow said, 'People are not ready for a hairy back in a sex scene. We're just not there yet as a society.'" — Seth Rogen. [Page Six]

• Did John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston break up? Sources say she's been dumped. Gah! An unnamed, possibly non-trustworthy, totally random source says: "John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together." Is it a good or a bad thing? And how long will we have to hear the "desperate single" gossip about Jen? [Mirror]
• Britney and her sons are wearing white on the cover of OK!. And she, uh, doesn't want Jayden and Preston to have careers in showbiz. "But but I’d love them unconditionally if they wanted to. I’d just as soon they have a more normal childhood," she says. Is it "normal" to be on the cover of a trashy tabloid with your weave-wearing mom? (More in Midweek Madness!) [MSNBC]
• Britney went to a party! And her dad went with her! And she didn't drink! And people say she looked good! [E!]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie are "on the very cusp" of adopting a little girl from Malawi. Her name is Mercy and Madonna "fell in love" with her at an orphanage last year. [The Sun]

• Meanwhile, Guy Ritchie has been doing ju-jitsu with Jason Statham. "I've been fighting Guy in his garage in L.A.," Jason says. "We're killing each other. That's another of my passions, strangling friends." Why does he make it sound so hot? [Mirror]
• Lily Allen is back with ex-boyfriend Ed Simons but by the time you read this they may be broken up again. [The Sun]
• Rhys Ifans is back with Kim Stewart but by the time you read this they may be broken up again. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse is finally settling down to work on an album, which she hopes to finish by the time Blake Incarcerated gets out. We'll believe it when he hear it. [The Sun]
• Oh, dear. In a survey of 3,500 Britons, the number one celebrity people had nightmares about was Amy Winehouse. [The Star]
• Officials have released the news that the cause of death for Isaac Hayes was a stroke. The saddest sentence ever: "Family members found Hayes lying on the floor of his home beside a treadmill that was still switched on." [Yahoo News]
• Natalie Portman's directorial debut, Eve, is a 17-minute film described as "a civilized comedy." Opening at the Venice Film Festival, it stars Lauren Bacall and Ben Gazzara. Wanna see! [Yahoo News]
• Oh lord. Here we go again. George Clooney says: "I have never texted or emailed Senator Obama. And I'll offer a million dollars to anyone who could prove otherwise. In fact, I've only talked to the Senator once in the last year and a half… on the phone." WTF. This is the same thing that happened with Scarlett Johannson. We just heard that George was giving Barack tips on policy! Does this mean that the Daily Mail lied? Are we not to believe everything we read? [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman brought her one month old daughter to her movie set. Working mom! [Star]
• Blake Lively's nose job seems to have occurred sometime in 2006. Plus, she says: "I've kissed just three people in my life, other than stuff that I've done for TV or movies. I know — I'm weird!" [LA Times]
• Chris Martin joked about dating other women on Japanese TV, saying, "Thankfully, my wife is over 1,000 miles away." [Mirror]
• Is Tom Cruise's career in the shitter? [Page Six]
• Julianne Moore is a stone cold fox in shots for Wonderland magazine. She talks about always being nekkid in flicks: "People ask all the time if sex scenes and nudity are hard. What’s hard? Not the lines or the physicality, but the emotion." [Daily Mail]
• Does Ryan Adams want Mandy Moore back? [Gawker]
• The fantastic Ellen Burstyn is coming to Law & Order SVU as Stabler's mom! [EW.com]
• Adrian Grenier and Isabel Lucas (aka Shia LaBeouf's car crash costar): Dunzo. [Yahoo News]
• Tori Spelling won't be on 90210 after all. Jennie Garth=sad. "I'm really bummed because I love Tori and I was psyched Tori was going to be on the show. I think she should definitely get paid as much as either of us is getting paid. Her father created the show. It just seems wrong if that’s the case. I don’t know what really happened… I don’t know if it’s about the money." [EW.com]
• Mark Consuelos will perform the ceremony in the marriage of Howard Stern to Beth Ostrosky. Uh… [Fox News]
• Dane Cook is not alone in hating the poster for his own movie. It's dumb and ugly. And a Photoshop of Horrors. [People]
• A Kylie and Dannii Minogue duet of an ABBA song is the campiest thing I can think of without picturing Liberace. [The Sun]
• Shania Twain is "progressing" and "working hard" to get over her split from her husband of 14 years. Breakup advice, anyone? [People]
• Janet Jackson's set list for her upcoming tour: Yes, "Nasty" is included. [Perez Hilton]
• "It was fantastic to do that album. Not only live with that music that I love everyday, but I just worked with such wonderful musicians who are so talented. I would love to do another album. Right now, though, I'd like to focus on developing something to direct." — Scarlett Johansson. [Perez Hilton]
• Jay-Z may use is 40/40 club to take over Las Vegas. [Page Six]
• Adam West, aka Batman, might be on Dancing With The Stars. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton is being sued for not doing enough publicity for a sorority film she was in, National Lampoon's Pledge This! Maybe she was doing them a favor? [AP]
• Now that he's a dad, Clay Aiken is returning to Spamalot, so he can make cash for his baby. The kid's name is Parker Foster Aiken. Unrelated: The pic of Clay makes me shudder. [USA Today]
• Bernie Brillstein, a Hollywood manager and producer, died last week. At a tribute Monday night, Jennifer Aniston, Rob Loew and Kermit The Frog attended. [E!]
• "I hate blogs but I love mine. Cause I can be F-in REAL with people!!!! I wanna make a difference in a good way even if that means speaking my mind. people might take offense to it but whatev. First of all lets address my 'voting" comment- first of all opinions are like (you know whats)-everyone has one. I decided to make a very blunt comment. Notice how i said "I know IIIIII couldn't do it cause I'd be pms-ing and freaking out all the time" ....Honestly I'd LOVE to meet a woman with NO emotional problems....but thats not the point...but its true. LOL Second- Only 54 percent of eligible american voters cast their ballots!!!!!! Half of them are only voting cause its "cool " to vote for so and so...they aren't even up to date on information. I'M personally not up to date on the facts, so I don't wanna make a stupid choice for our country. I WANT to vote but only when I know exactly whats going on. More ppl should think like that. Paris Hilton said "yaaaay go vote cause its cool and hott!!!!" ...SHE WASN'T EVEN REGISTERED. seriously." — Brooke Hogan. [ONTD]

• Cameron Diaz and Gerard Butler: Three dates in ten days. Touchy-feely everywhere. It's like, so on. Yeah, this is the kind of news that makes us ache inside. You, too? [Mirror]
  
• Neither Beyoncé nor Jay-Z have confirmed that they were married. But on stage in North Carolina on Saturday, Mary J. Blige (who is on tour with Jay) shouted "Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," during the show. If Mary says it, you gotta believe! [People]
  
• Oooh, apparently guests at the Z-Knowles wedding were asked to leave all cell phones, cameras and guns at home and were frisked at the door — yet three guns were left in an "amnesty box" outside Jay-Z's apartment. Dangerously in love! [Mirror]
  
• Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday eating at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart with her fiancé. [People]
  
• "I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don't look like Lauren Conrad. Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on The Hills? They're complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag." — Stacy London of What Not To Wear. [Rush & Molloy]

• Click here to see what Scarlett Johansson's album cover looks like. (She's lying on some ferns inside of a stump or something, but it looks prettier than it sounds.) [People]
• Jessica Alba had a baby shower on Sunday; Rashida Jones, Jaime King and Kim Kardashian were in attendance. The menu featured chicken, tiger shrimp, dark chocolate-dipped strawberries and cupcakes. Jess received strollers, cradles, Dr. Seuss books, rattles and clothes. Yawn. [E!]
• Lily Allen and Kelly Osbourne turned up at the same event wearing the same Vivienne Westwood dress. Horrors! [Mirror]
• Madonna will adopt a kid from India after she finishes promoting her new album. Namaste! [The Sun]
• Um, unless, as this paper says, David Banda is the last child she ever adopts. [The Sun]
• Thandie Newton is going to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie??? Love her, but she doesn't look like the Secretary of State. Then again, Josh Brolin doesn't look like W, so. Sigh. [LA Times]
• Nicky Hilton, who is dating Mary-Kate Olsen's ex, David Katzenberg, is becoming good friends with The Hills' Whitney Port, who is dating Ashley Olsen's ex, Matt Kaplan. Are you keeping up? Think of it this way: Hollywood is one giant bacteria swap. [Page Six]
• Dane Cook's neighbors hate him because he doesn't pick up after his dog. Gross. [Page Six]
• Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' daughter Beatrice was seen shopping with her nanny, picking out her own clothes without her parents there, poor thing. She is 4. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Sir Paul has praised ex-wife Linda (and taken a swipe at Heather) by noting that Linda (who died in 1998) "didn't go on TV and say, 'This is who I am - hello' and try to ingratiate herself. Her priorities were private rather than public." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Paul's new girlfriend, "millionairess" Nancy Shevell, seems kind of great. [Daily Mail]
• Unfinished Kelly Clarkson tracks have leaked on to the Internet. That "sucks," says Kelly Clarkson. [Reuters]
• As previously reported, there's an X-rated blow-up doll based on Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex And The City. Will there also be a lawsuit? [UPI]
• Porn star Mary Carey announced "I'm 37 days sober!" at a NYC restaurant last week, then had a glass of wine. [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson is "shaving" on the new cover of Esquire. [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson's album will be released almost at the same time as Mariah Carey's. Doesn't look good for Ash. [MSNBC]
• Did Mariah lipsync on a UK TV show? [Perez Hilton]
• Dina Lohan is "worried" about tabloid attention on daughter Ali, who stars in Dina's upcoming reality show. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to the level of success that she is at and with the tabloids ... so with Ali now it's scary ... they are already making things up about her," Dina says. Thrusting her into the spotlight will certainly solve the problem! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the "beyond metrosexual" look was a smash with their target 'tween audience." [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney received an anonymous voice mail from a man telling him to ditch girlfriend Sarah Larson. The man said, "Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!" Clooney had the call traced to a pre-paid cell phone but still doesn't know who left the message. Maybe the person who "writes" IDontlikeYouInThatWay? [TMZ]
• Photo agency x17 has apologized to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria for posting the claims of model Alexandra Paressant, who said that she'd had an affair with Tony after he married Eva. Tony had never even met Paressant. Friday the agency said: X17online.com and X17 Inc. regret having been misled by Ms. Paressant and her representatives and apologize to Mr. Parker for any damage or inconvenience this may have caused him or his wife." [TMZ]
• The reason Naomi Campbell had a hissy fit on a British Airways flight? When they lost her luggage, she reportedly said, "I must have the clothing that is in the suitcase because it is a brand that I have got to wear otherwise I don't get paid." [Mirror]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Cheryl Burke has opened her own dance studio in San Francisco. [ET]
• Jennie Garth might make a cameo appearance in the pilot of the 90210 spinoff! [LA Times]
• Rickrolling has actually spurred sales of Rick Astley songs. Amazing. [Reuters]
• Colin Farrell toured Bosnia in preparation for a new film. ""I felt sick," he says. "It is hard to describe how obviously the air and the land has been poisoned by the act of killing 8,000 people in the space of a day. But you really do get the sense of the pain and the loss and I am sad, I really am sad." [Reuters]
• 21 was number one at the box office again, beating George Clooney's Leatherheads. [E!]
• Charlton Heston is dead. [People]

• Jessica Simpson has been hospitalized at Cedars Sinai for a minor kidney infection. Did she pick up something in Kuwait? Ow, ow, ow. [TMZ]
  
• Oh, she's already out of the hospital. And "doing fine." [The Sun]
  
• Amy Winehouse is moving — for the third time in four months — because her new flat has "demons." [The Sun]
  
• Despite what you may have heard, Johnny Depp will not be shilling for Magnum condoms. [Portƒolio]
  
• Denise Richards: "I'll never talk about weight around [my daughters]. And they'll never hear me say, 'Mommy's feeling fat today.' That kind of attitude just makes young girls grow up to be dissatisfied with their bodies." She will, however, include them in her new reality show! [People]
  
• Jennifer Aniston has formed a film company called Echo Films with producing partner Kristin Hahn. (Aniston was previously a partner in Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B.) [Variety]

• Meanwhile, Brad Pitt is producing a new film called Lost City Of Z, about a lost city in the Amazon. [Variety]
• Oh, Brad Pitt MIGHT be at the Kodak theater in Hollywood on Sunday for Idol Gives Back, the American Idol charity fundraising event. But will he be married? [E!]
• Director Pedro Almodovar says his inspiration is actress Deborah Kerr. [Telegraph]
• Adam Sandler: Broke his ankle playing basketball. [USA Today]
• Grammy Winning singer Nancy Wilson has been hospitalized with a collapsed lung. Be well! [USA Today]
• Dane Cook: Named unfunniest comic. Ha. [Page Six]
• Bruce Willis' girlfriend Emma Heming previously dated Sean "Diddy" Combs, Brent Bolthouse and John Stamos. Ain't sayin' she's a goldigger, but... [Page Six]
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus says she only ate egg whites on the day of the Emmy awards because she wanted to look thin. "I don't know why people thought that was so funny. I guess some people like to pretend they can eat like shit and look great in their dress." [Page Six]
• Stavros Niarchos: Seen leaving a NYC hotspot with three ladies. [Page Six]
• Ed Westwick, aka Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, was seen playing with his band in a downtown NYC club and chugging drinks on stage. After his set, Ed stumbled out yelling "I'm so fucked up!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which small-screen actress has been texting and fawning over and otherwise smothering her '90s TV megastar boyfriend, just after her PR leaked the relationship to the press? At this rate, she might have to cast a new beau for next season." [Gatecrasher]
• Kelly Lynch is sending her Road House co-star Patrick Swayze best wishes. "If anyone can get through this, it's him," she says of his fight with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is not pregnant, she just wore a baby doll top. Leave her alone. [People]
• Rihanna says she and Chris Brown "are best friends, honestly, like brother and sister." That's cool, even though I never do this with my brother. [People]
• New Kids On The Block! On the Today show! April 4! Oh oh oh oh oh — hangin' tough! [People]
• A woman who has a restraining order against her and can't come within 500 feet of John Cusack was arrested Sunday near the actor's home in Malibu. Yikes! Stalker. [E!]
• Britney Spears is back with her former manager, Larry Rudolph, who had represented her her since she was a teen and was the one who urged her to go to rehab (after which she dropped him). Could be a step in the right direction. [ONTD]
• Meanwhile, Brit's dad is trying to keep here working since it's "therapeutic" for her. [MSNBC]
• Feuds over fashion on the set of the Sex And The City movie? You don't say. [Mirror]
• Sharon Osbourne, live, on TV at the Brit awards: Get on with it, you pisshead ... Shut up you're pissed. Piss off, you bastard. Piss off!" TV regulator Ofcom (kind of like the FCC) says her language was "acceptable." [Mirror]
• Newly-divorced Paul McCartney and his new girlfriend, Nancy Shevell (whom the UK paper calls a "millionairess") were seen "giggling and smooching" on a Caribbean beach yesterday. Love is all you need! [Mirror]
• Ray Romano: Returning to TV in a new one-hour comedic drama? [UPI]
• Daniel Craig has been named "Britain's Best Dressed Man" by the UK edition of GQ. But do we like him better fully clothed or, um, partially? [Reuters]

The Good:

Maybe the tie is too short, but I like Common's look anyway.

John Mayer is mad for plaid and looking good.

Jon Krasinski: Always adorable!

The Bad:

Carmen Electra's dress: Gross color, ill-fitting.

Dane Cook: Can't help looking douchey.

Dave Salmoni: Can't help looking really douchey.

Tom Anderson: Can't help looking kinda douchey.

The Ugly:

Sara Bareilles really needs to retire the dress-and-boots combo.

• For the first time in her adult life, Michelle Obama is really proud of her country. Drudge has this quote up in an XXL font on his site and it has replaced much of his plagiarism coverage, so I assume this means she is going to get lots of shit from all the good Americans who were so moved after 9/11 when the country came together to start shopping again... [Breitbart]
  
• Barack Obama borrowed a line from some other black guy's speech borrowing a bunch of lines from famous speeches and suddenly the Hillary campaign would have you believe he is the Dane Cook of inspiring people! [Politico]
  
• But the campaign doesn't think it would be a big deal if Hillary had "plagiarized" the same way because "she's not running on the strength of her rhetoric." [ABC News]
  
• Barack Obama's brother-in-law Konrad Ng is hot. [Honolulu Advertiser]
  
• Women have the right to vote in the Pakistan, but like in a Jim Crow sorta way. [NYT]
  
• Ok, I get it, steroids bad. But the kid's name is Pettitte. [NYT]

• There is a foreign country in which George W. Bush is not hysterically unpopular? [WSJ]
• Speaking of Bushes, the elder endorsed John McCain.
• "You know, senator," McCain said, seething, "I thought your problem was that you don't listen. But that's not it at all. Your problem is that you're a fucking jerk." [Salon regarding that story in the Sunday [NYT]
• Whoever Joe Herrick of Gutterman Research is I want to have his babies. [WSJ]

Dane Cook — Crying [YouTube]