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New York, 10:19 AM
Thu Dec 10
65 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #dallascowboys more →

    One Mile High & Rising

    Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"

    Jezebels
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    10/05/09

    In reply to One Mile High & Rising
    I had a shirt like the white one in that picture when I was in grade school. I put it on to wear to church one morning and my mom said I would have to change because it wasn't appropriate for mass. I said "Why not? It's HOLEY!"

    I was sooooooo clever.
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of LuvEwan LuvEwan
    10/05/09

    @LaComtesse: Even Jesus laughed at that one.
     Reply
    LuvEwan was starred LuvEwan was unstarred
    Image of Maritsa Maritsa
    10/05/09

    In reply to One Mile High & Rising
    Thanks for beating the Cowboys! Love, the Giants
     Reply
    Cookie Dough Monster promoted this comment Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred
    Image of Cookie Dough Monster Cookie Dough Monster
    10/05/09

    @Maritsa: Haha, this is way late because I couldn't get on here at work... but AMEN.
     Reply
    Cookie Dough Monster was starred Cookie Dough Monster was unstarred
    Image of Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd) Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd)
    10/05/09

    In reply to One Mile High & Rising
    GO BRONCOS!!! Mile High SALUTE!
     Reply
    Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd) was starred Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd) was unstarred
    Image of MizJenkins MizJenkins
    10/05/09

    @Benevolent_Dictatrix (patently absurd): Whoooooop! I have been a Broncos fan ever since I realized that if they made it to the playoffs my Dad would put blue/orange Hostess snowballs in my lunchbox :)
     Reply
    MizJenkins was starred MizJenkins was unstarred
    Image of acrobatic rabbit acrobatic rabbit
    10/05/09

    In reply to One Mile High & Rising
    yay!! finally a snap judgment from Denver! I'm like that kid in the plane who screams to his mom, "I can see our house!!"
     Reply
    acrobatic rabbit was starred acrobatic rabbit was unstarred
    Image of Laines Laines
    10/05/09

    @acrobatic rabbit: This is another Denver one that made me proud:

    [jezebel.com]
     Reply
    acrobatic rabbit promoted this comment Laines was starred Laines was unstarred
    Image of Maulleigh Maulleigh
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    I agree. Please don't let loose anywhere near me. I don't fart or pass gas in front of you.


    I don't think a guy should fart or pass gas around me.


    That's what bathrooms and outside are for.

     Reply
    Maulleigh was starred Maulleigh was unstarred
    Image of littlebunnyfoofoo littlebunnyfoofoo
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    It's better to toot

    And bear the shame

    Then not to toot

    And bear the pain.
     Reply
    littlebunnyfoofoo was starred littlebunnyfoofoo was unstarred
    Image of par3 par3
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    ' i want to suck the fart out of your ass'... where is that from and why did i just say that???
     Reply
    par3 was starred par3 was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    Oh god - wait till he inadvertently punctures his latest latex sweetie.


    No baby, that's your breath.

     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of MJ MJ
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    Ugh, I'm going to be crucified, but . . . I kinda agree. It's not very ladylike. Sometimes unavoidable, obviously, but still not ladylike.


    I can count on my fingers the number of times I've passed gas in front of anyone else, male or female. If I can't manage to be alone or outside, I will hold it until I feel like I'm going to burst.


    Sorry, but the prissy ol' southern belle in me just refuses to find this 'acceptable behavior.'

     Reply
    MJ was starred MJ was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    04/09/09

    @MJ: I'm not southern, but I am kind of a priss. One time, before we lived together, I was staying over at Mr. Foibs house. I farted in my sleep loud enough to wake myself up. I lay there, terrified that he'd heard. To this day, that and one other time when I was half-asleep and he was in bed watching early morning SportsCenter, are the only times I have ever audibly cut one in his presence. The first time, the one that woke me up, upset me so much that I called my BFF the next morning from work so she could calm me down. I was actually thinking of breaking up with him because of the embarassment. (I didn't, obvs.)
     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
    04/09/09

    @MJ: I don't rip 'em if front of just anybody, but if my husband lets one fly, well, you get what you give.


    If I'm somewhere other than home, I try to be private about it. My Grandfather used to "go look at the boat," which our family euphamism now. My husband steps on alot of barking spiders and ducks.


    Once, though, we were shopping and I let a SBD go, and blamed it on him when you could smell it into the nest aisle - people were gagging.

     Reply
    gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy was starred gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy was unstarred
    Image of Cerridwen Cerridwen
    04/09/09

    @MJ: Well, I wouldn't let one rip in a board meeting or something like that. But I'll be damned if I have to hold it in around a significant other.
     Reply
    Cerridwen was starred Cerridwen was unstarred
    Image of littlebunnyfoofoo littlebunnyfoofoo
    04/09/09

    @MJ: Don't ever get pregnant. You can't control it. Oh, the humiliation!
     Reply
    littlebunnyfoofoo was starred littlebunnyfoofoo was unstarred
    Image of tinytm11 tinytm11
    04/09/09

    @littlebunnyfoofoo: SO TRUE! Incidentally, this is also when I had to give up the "No pooping in public bathrooms" rule for myself. It just wasn't an option anymore!
     Reply
    tinytm11 was starred tinytm11 was unstarred
    Image of Eric Northman is mine Eric Northman is mine
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    He doesn't think it's right that women fart? Ummm where was this guy during biology class? Yeah, someone needs to sit on his face ASAP.
     Reply
    Eric Northman is mine was starred Eric Northman is mine was unstarred
    Image of novelidea novelidea
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    I personally feel if you can fart in front of your man/lady, that is a sign of a healthy relationship!
     Reply
    novelidea was starred novelidea was unstarred
    Image of shorty63136 shorty63136
    04/09/09

    @sparklesaurus: And a healthy intestinal tract!
     Reply
    shorty63136 was starred shorty63136 was unstarred
    Image of the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
    04/09/09

    @sparklesaurus: Yes, my boyfriend told me that the first time he felt that we were truly a couple was when he let it rip in front of me and it wasn't awkward. I felt special.
     Reply
    the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene was starred the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene was unstarred
    Image of Eric Northman is mine Eric Northman is mine
    04/09/09

    @sparklesaurus: or realistic. Hello were you asleep during biology or something?
     Reply
    Eric Northman is mine was starred Eric Northman is mine was unstarred
    Image of I, Zombie Normal I, Zombie Normal
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    I think expanding the quote helps us understand just how daft Mr. Bennett really is:


    I guess women have to let go at times too but it just doesn't seem right, but if they do then it shouldn't smell or make a sound. I mean come on if you were on a date with Angelina Jolie a lunch date eating

    spaghetti and pancakes or whatever it is people eat in Hollywood and as she's feeding you she farts. Do you let her slide because of her

    beauty or call her out?


    Spaghetti and pancakes? Uh, Hollywood ladies don't eat carbs, especially pancakey ones. And why is Angelina feeding him? I obviously have no idea what's sexy.

     Reply
    I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred
    Image of midwesternmom midwesternmom
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    In law school, my group of friends farted. We were too stressed to worry how people felt about it, so we just shrugged and said, "stepped on a duck." When my mom and her delicate stomach came to visit, I told her if she was feeling gassy just to let it rip and tell us she stepped on the duck. So my dear mother farted, looked up with a happy grin, and announced "the duck farted."
     Reply
    midwesternmom was starred midwesternmom was unstarred
    Image of shorty63136 shorty63136
    04/09/09

    @midwesternmom: I LOL'd. She almost had it!
     Reply
    shorty63136 was starred shorty63136 was unstarred
    Image of littlebunnyfoofoo littlebunnyfoofoo
    04/09/09

    @midwesternmom: Aahahaha! That is so cute!!
     Reply
    littlebunnyfoofoo was starred littlebunnyfoofoo was unstarred
    Image of million.dollar.mouth. million.dollar.mouth.
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    This guy is oviously not a fart smeller, er, smart feller.
     Reply
    million.dollar.mouth. was starred million.dollar.mouth. was unstarred
    Image of jeepgirl jeepgirl
    04/09/09

    @million.dollar.mouth (anna.the.zombie.kitteh): HA!
     Reply
    jeepgirl was starred jeepgirl was unstarred
    Image of littlebunnyfoofoo littlebunnyfoofoo
    04/09/09

    @million.dollar.mouth (anna.the.zombie.kitteh): I like what you did there.
     Reply
    littlebunnyfoofoo was starred littlebunnyfoofoo was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    04/09/09

    In reply to Tight End: "What Do You Do If Your Chic Farts?"
    What do you do if your chick farts? Laugh about it, make a screwy face and then try to outdo her.
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
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