[Dallas, June 17. Image via Getty]

DALLAS - JUNE 17: Nine-year-old Coulet Johnson (C), sits with fellow homeless children while watching circus clowns at a free performance at the Dallas Public Library on June 17, 2009 in Dallas, Texas. Dozens of children currently living with their parents in Dallas homeless shelters were brought to enjoy the clown show courtesy of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. The National Center on Family Homelessness reported this year that Texas has the largest number of homeless children in the nation with more than 337,000 children without permanent housing. (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)

• Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius has removed her name from Cabinet consideration. [The Hill]
• New York Governor David Paterson wants to be your next President because "Once you go black, you don't go back." [Politico]
• Fred Thompson is so cheap that he's renting his apartment out for the inauguration. [Huffington Post]
• The Supreme Court rejected the crazypants challenge to Obama's citizenship. [Politico]

• Your tax dollars at work: the State Department is now on Twitter. [Washington Independent]
• Karl Rove's gonna write a book about everyone who was mean to George Bush. Florists in D.C. are already planning on mass deliveries when the index is out. [CNN]
• President Bush's new neighbors are concerned that their community might become a target after he moves in. Now they know how all the residents of D.C. feel. [Raw Story]
• All the women out there who were concerned about Chris Matthews' run for the Senate in Pennsylvania might be able to breathe a sigh of relief. His brother doesn't think he'll leave television. [The New Republic, Politico]
• Christie Hefner's apparently leaving Playboy Enterprises... to angle for a job with the Obama Administration? [Portfolio]
• Israeli Interior Minister Meir Sheetrit is trying to grant Sandra Samuel, the Indian nanny who rescued Moeshe Holtzberg during the Mumbai terror attacks, the status of "Righteous among the Nations" to allow her to stay in Israel as long as she wishes. The honor is given to non-Jews who save the lives of Jews. [Associated Press]
• Pakistan actually arrested one of the suspected Mumbai plotters, by the way. [Huffington Post]
• In your official holiday-themed uplifting end to the roundup, homeless men at Detroit's Mariners Inn shelter and treatment center are raising $500 for each of 4 poor families they are adopting for the holidays. [Breitbart]

• A new study claims that women who gain too much weight during pregnancy
may have their children grow up to be obese teenagers. • Rice Krispies
celebrated its 80th British anniversary on November 10th, marking the 80th year since the cereal was brought from the U.S. to Britain. • Why are movie trailer narrators overwhelmingly male? • Forensics trainees from
Park Point University in Pittsburgh will re-examine the cold case of accused 19th century parent-killer, Lizzie Borden. • U.S. researchers have found stronger brain activity in women who are ovulating and viewing masculinized male faces. • A 26-year-old woman from Florida who was suspected of abusing her daughter will be given custody of her twin children after a three-judge panel on Wednesday determined that she had made sufficient progress as a parent since her daughter was abused in 2002. • A Dallas-area pastor of a mega-church urged his married congregants on Sunday to have sex with their spouses for 7 days straight. • A urologist from Florida has invented a stealth urinal for men called the UroClub which is designed to look like a 7-iron and fit in a golf bag. • Twin panda cubs who were born at the Adventure World amusement park in Wakayama, Japan in September were named Meihin and Eihin today.• A British couple who met online and played Second Life together are getting divorced after the wife found out her husband's avatar was seeing another (virtual) woman. • Is the spider fear a learned behavior? • Malaysia police say that protests from Katagender and Food Not Bombs regarding the recent Muslim edict against women wearing trousers is a security threat. •

• "i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach. so, here's the visual... two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me... one of them being, 'Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?' WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile! i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you're not even fully developed yet! It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye... i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person." — Lindsay Lohan, on her MySpace Celebrity blog. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Christian Bale will get a "caution" — is that like a warning? — for allegedly pushing and shoving his sister and mom. Meaning he won't go to court. [The Sun]
• Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi: "Getting married very very soon." [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Aniston's been seen with model Matt Felker. Also known as Selma Blair's ex-boyfriend. Also known as the guy from Britney's "Toxic" video. [Perez Hilton]
• Apparently John Mayer is "still mulling" his relationship with Jen and might be upset that she's seeing someone new right away. Whatever, dude. [Mirror]

• Angelina Jolie is not "the replacement" for Tom Cruise in the spy thriller Edwin A. Salt; Tom passed on the role. Spin control or correction? [MSNBC]
• Paula Wagner, Tom Cruise's production partner, is quitting MGM/UA. Again: Is Tom's career in the crapper? [Financial Times]
• "I'm writing every day, right here at the piano," Britney Spears says. The new songs are her "best work ever." [Reuters]
• Pam Anderson has a new man! He's from the United Arab Emirates and may be a member of Abu Dhabi's royal family. Think she'll live in Dubai part-time? [E!]
• Pictures of Chris Brown and Rihanna frolicking on the beach in Barbados will make you want to go on vacation. [The Sun]
• Is Mary-Kate Olsen, who has an estimated $20 million annual income, "burning through her money? [MSNBC]
• Meanwhile, Ashley Olsen's been seen "all over" new boyfriend Justin Bartha. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams is careful about the paparazzi: "Before Michelle leaves the house with Matilda, she has a bodyguard go around her block and make sure there are no photographers," a source says. [Page Six]
• The phrase "wardrobe malfunction" has gone into the lastest Chambers English Dictionary. Thanks, Janet Jackson, for adding to our modern lexicon! [Mirror]
• While Madonna has plans to adopt a little girl from Malawi, she won't be adopting Dingiswayo Banda, David Banda's newborn half-brother. This paper is trying to make her feel bad about that. [Daily Mail]
• This report says Madonna is not planning to adopt another child from Malawi. [TMZ]
• Benji Madden and Paris Hilton: Dunzo? [E!]
• Kelly Brook and Billy Zane: Splitsville. "This time, for good." [Mirror]
• Winona Ryder and Blake Sennett from the band Rilo Kiley: Broken up. There are two eclipses this month and everything is all effed up, you guys. Hug someone. [Perez Hilton]
• Courteney Cox directed a short film for Glamour magazine's Reel Moments. "My short's about a girl, played by Laura Dern, who has a chance encounter on a bus that confirms the decision she makes to be single and reinforces her faith in herself," Cox says. "You don't have to have someone complete you." [USA Today]
• Kevin Federline was checking out spelling conundrum Brittny Gastineau at a club in L.A. recently, but Brittny was not interested. Unrelated: Would you like to buy a vowel? [Page Six]
• David Beckham, Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin and Leona Lewis will be part of the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. If they do "Stairway To Heaven" my brian will explode. [Mirror]
• Sylvester Stallone will star in a Bollywood movie? Must. See. [Wall Street Journal]
• Some dude fell down a "large, concealed drop-off" on Sharon Stone's property and he's suing. [TMZ]
• A woman arrested on charges of stalking John Cusack has been found mentally competent to stand trial, and she'll be in court September 9. [Reuters]
• Dave Coulier speaks about being the inspiration for Alanis Morissette's song, "You Oughta Know." "I said, 'I think I have really hurt this person.'" Ya think? [Perez Hilton]
• If you've got a hundred bucks and an idea about who shot JR, you can go to the 30th anniversary party for Dallas, being held at a Texas ranch. Larry Hagman, Linda Gray and Patrick Duffy have confirmed they will attend! [AP]
• Audrina Patridge has been offered a guest role on a new sitcom, Do Not Disturb, starting this fall. Not that you care. [People]
• "What have you done? You hardly know the boy!" — Peaches Geldof's dad, Sir Bob, upon hearing that his daughter got hitched in Vegas. [Mirror]
• "You can’t understand how a woman seeing a man who has been separated from his wife [Rosetta Getty] for months can cause such a scandal. It’s awful, I can’t tell you. You wonder when it’s all going to stop." — Jo Miller, Sienna's mom. [Daily Express]
• "I don't believe in God, I believe in Al Pacino, and that's true. If I ever get a phone call saying, 'Would you like to work with Pacino?,' I would go crazy." — Javier Bardem in Time magazine. [Page Six]
• "If anyone wants to win an Oscar, they can just work with me." — Kerry Washington to Giant magazine, referring to her Academy Award-toting co-stars Jamie Foxx and Forest Whitaker. [Page Six]

Newsweek continues: "...the girl lasted about a week and a half in November, working the stage amid flashing multicolored strobe lights and a pounding hip-hop soundtrack laced with obscene lyrics. She made as little as $100 a night, she told the authorities, and gave all her profits after paying the club fee to Bell and Abron, her 'caretakers.'"

David Bell, gentleman that he is, allegedly made the girl perform oral sex on him repeatedly; she eventually escaped while he was sleeping. Though Bell is now in jail (Abron is currently out on bail), the case has caused an uproar around Dallas, because officials have no legal means to punish the Diamond Cabaret. "City ordinances do not set a minimum age for dancers in adult cabarets," reports Newsweek, adding that adult cabarets "are subject to fewer restrictions than escort services, which are also regulated by the city." Essentially, here's no way to even suspend the club's license for a modicum of time although lawmakers are attempting to pass ordinances so that there are some repercussions for gentleman's clubs breaking the law.

Lost Girl [Newsweek]

DailyCandy Atlanta has forgotten that it spends most of its time telling us to starve ourselves pretty and suggests we spend our weekend gorging ourselves on fried Twinkies.

DailyCandy Chicago seems to have forgotten that the whole point of DailyCandy is that it's supposed to refer us to something. Saying "Don't get a sunburn" with no external link = not doing their job.

DailyCandy Dallas thinks we should see Space Jam this weekend. You remember Space Jam, don't you? That cartoon/live action movie starring Michael Jordan and the Looney Toons????

DailyCandy Los Angeles thinks we care about bars that serve things other than booze. And more specifically, about bars where we can pick garden plants.

DailyCandy Philadelphia seems to think it makes sense that we'd fork over $10 to lead ourselves on a self-guided tour.

DailyCandy San Francisco thinks that design-your-own-salad spots are still a new thing. Yawn.