[Tawang, India; November 11. Image via Getty]

An Indian woman listens as Tibetan spiritual leader the Dalai Lama speaks at a gathering at Yid-Gha-Choezin in Tawang, in the northwestern corner of Arunachal Pradesh state, on November 11, 2009. The Dalai Lama said religious 'duty' compelled him to make his visit to a Buddhist region near India's disputed Himalayan border with Tibet that has infuriated China. AFP PHOTO/Diptendu DUTTA (Photo credit should read DIPTENDU DUTTA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Tawang, India; November 9. Image via Getty]

Elderly Buddhist women wait to catch a glimpse of Tibetan spiritual leader the Dalai Lama in Tawang, in the northwestern corner of Arunachal Pradesh state on November 9, 2009. The Dalai Lama held a mass audience with tens of thousands of devotees November 9 on a 'non-political' visit to a region near India's border with Tibet that has drawn shrill protests from China. AFP PHOTO/Diptendu DUTTA (Photo credit should read DIPTENDU DUTTA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Roqueredonde, France, August 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

MEGAN: Hey, it's Friday. Do we care about anything today or are we just too fucking apathetic?
MOE: Let's play hooky like the Obama kids!
MOE: Anna IMed me like "yeah I was going to send you some links but I figured you had seen them all already."
MEGAN: I never played hooky until college, and rarely then.
MEGAN: Mostly I just skipped my computer science class, which taught me such epic things like how to use MS Paint.
MOE: Oh, my god. i was really good at skipping class.
MOE: In college it doesn't count because if you skip class you are wasting a lot more money
MOE: If you skip class you're a tool.
MOE: In high school I used to skip class to drive to Georgetown and sit in on other classes.
MEGAN: Well, I overloaded to take that required class, so it was like skipping something extra I wasn't paying for. Plus, MS Paint? I think we can all agree I probably didn't need to learn that.
MOE: Oh god. The slayerverse. Will you explain to me what the fuck that means? Never mind, I'll ask Don "Man is the bastard" Malkemes.

MEGAN: It wasn't my idea, I just executed it.
MEGAN: Oh, well, we could talk about what kind of high school kid the candidates are.
MOE: Whoa did you read about McCain's new clueless misguided war on poverty? Oh no you're right we should def talk about high school.
MEGAN: Because, of course, we will never escape high school. Fuck high school.
MEGAN: I left my town to escape high school only to find out that DC is like a really big high school, only slightly more incestuous. Here, it's like Lord of the Flies for nerds all trying to make up for nerdiness in their youth by being the top of some weird social heap.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, Hillary is apparently Tracy Flick according to everyone in the universe, so we need to come up with some other cultural touchstone to start calling her because she's played out. I'm suggesting Elizabeth from the Sweet Valley High books, but I'm open to suggestions.
MOE: I hated high school so much I actually repressed most of the memories as to why I hated it. I've noticed, though, that the alcohol I drink now is better than that of my youth.
9:10 AM
MEGAN: I was so focused on getting the fuck out of Scotia and my parents' house that I didn't hate it as much as I could have. I just kept looking down the hall the whole time. And I never drank or did drugs or anything because there was no fucking way I was getting stuck at SUNY Albany (where my dad works).
MOE: Obviously I'm not too concerned with finding new less fraught cultural touchstones through which to view Hillary. HowEVER. Have you watched the high school newspaper show? The main kid in that, the ed-in-chief, is kinda Hillary.
MEGAN: I mean, is that why so many Jezebelles seem to (ahem) slightly overly identify with her on a personal level? Because she's us? I'm not going to say I wasn't like that. I ran an elderly volunteer program, worked for another, was President of SADD and the German Club, was in drama club, on the school newspaper briefly and took ballet, tap and jazz lessons.
MOE: Oh man, high school was so miserable I completely lost all sense that there was a world outside it. So yes, I drank and did drugs. It was kind of awesome. I love days like this when I remember how awesome it was to wear the kilt with birkenstocks.
MEGAN: I went to public school. I went through kind of a hippie bell bottom phase.
MEGAN: Ok, or we could talk about McCain's Katrina speech, which is totally part of his insane poor people tour.

MOE: Yeah I touched on that in yesterday's news roundup. And then I went out for about six hours of drinking —it's just like a juice fast if you stick to beer! — during which the food crisis was clumsily discussed. And I promised I would find out whether the United States, like China, has formidable reserves of food.
MEGAN: I don't think we have a food reserve like we do an oil reserve.

MEGAN: But we also don't have $1 billion+ people and haven't had a widespread famine.
MEGAN: By the way, the cops in NY that shot up that groom in Queens a couple years ago all just got acquitted. Hunter Walker, who's blogging on my other sofa, thinks that's kind of bullshit.

MEGAN: Oh, hey, so the Zimbabwe police have raided the offices of independent election observers and the locked down the offices of the opposition party. Guess those Chinese weapons actually weren't all that necessary after all.
MOE: Right Anna just emailed me about this. Damn. Decisions like this are so weird. I can never tell if they're just indicative of a total ignorance about the nature of police misconduct or ... plain racism or whatever.

MEGAN: Well, as they just discussed on MSNBC, two of the officers involved were themselves African-American. Hunter, who feels much more strongly about this, has seen video from the JFK Air Train of the security officers up there hitting the ground because the officers were firing so many shots and so wildly. Also, the commentator (who sided with the cops) said the reason that they fired was that the undercover guy at the strip club supposedly heard one guy tell another to get his gun, but white pro-cop lady said they said "Yo, go get my gun" and we think it's a little fucked up she threw in the "Yo".
MOE: Yeah, it is a little fucked up. Undermining an entire national referendum on your corrupt multidecade tenure in the autocracy fucked up, not quite. But fucked up. That said, I add a few too many superfluous "Yo"s to my conversation at times. I blame Philly, where the features section of the first newspaper I worked for was called the "Yo! Section"

MEGAN: To skip back to Zimbabwe, this picture accompanied the article I linked to but in case they change it, I wanted people to see it.
MOE: Oh thanks! What an eye-pleasing range of color!
MEGAN: The little girl breaks my heart as much as all the men in the picture do my looking so nonchalant about pointing that big ass gun at a little girl.
MOE: hahaha she doesn't look scared though.
MEGAN: Yeah, just sort of annoyed and uncomfortable, which is so much worse. I practically crap my pants when I see the dudes at the airport or on the subway with the submachine guns.
MOE: See, to me that picture is the classic "everyone hanging out with guns" kinda picture you'll get in places where there's some sort of military rule. And also: don't go to Israel then. Or maybe that would have been an ideal natural cure for the constipation I suffered there.
MOE: Okay I know other shit happened last night. LIke seriously breaking developments that will affect the outcome of the election or the future of the global commodities markets or something. But I can't for the life of me find any decent links.
MEGAN: Yeah, well, I go to Germany and they have the machine guns, too, and are sort of scary about it even to me. I think it's just, like, now it's here and that's what I don't like.
MEGAN: Wait, I didn't think the Abercrombie boys calling into Larry King was that important.
MOE: Wait they called into Larry King? Link please. I totally missed it. I'm too busy getting whatever my new substitute for "mad" is at Chuck Krauthammer. I would also point out that in their most recent polls Obama wins a McCain matchup by 1.9% and HIllary wins by 0.4% so seriously UTSHAY THE UCKFAY UPHAY about electability kthanks.
MEGAN: Also, can we just sort of admit that "electability" is all "poor white folk won't vote for the black man" and that polls like this are a non-racist, non-elitist way to say that? That would be cool.
MOE: Oh and just as I'm like "nothing's fucking going onnnnnnn" the Dalai Lama scores a meeting with China.
MEGAN: Speaking of people you worry about and hope won't be assassinated, that's kind of fucking epic.

MEGAN: Good morning! I'm caffeinated this morning!
MEGAN: There will be a lot of exclamation points!

MOE: I'm...HUNGOVER! And it's kind of late. Did you have sex or something? Wait don't answer that in public!
MEGAN: Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you just said. Oh, well. Wanna talk about the news?
MEGAN: I feel like being a rapist, accomplice or apologist is practically a checkbox you have to have before going to Iraq for KBR these days.
MOE: Okay China is saying it broke up a terrorist plot to kidnap Olympians.
MOE: And yeah, we don't want the Crappy Hour to get too rapey
MEGAN: Yeah, I was listening to that this morning.

MEGAN: This terrorist plot to supposedly kidnap athletes and foreign journos is probably why China shouldn't have censored the movie Munich. I mean, other than the hottness of Eric Bana and Daniel Craig and that French guy from Amelie, that is.
MOE: Dude, I never saw that movie, dammit. I wonder if it's OnDemand. Fuck New York and all its deleterious outdoor social obligating. Here's the thing about the Olympic protests: they really did seem to come from nowhere, right? Even the Dalai Lama seems surprised.

"Right from the beginning, we supported the Olympic Games." Speaking of pro-Tibetan protesters, he said nobody "has the right to tell them to shut up.

MEGAN: The Golden Gate bridge people should be in the Olympics. That was some epic shit.
MOE: Uh-oh, the wheelchair girl was interviewed by the Chinese press. I can't figure out whether that's good or bad.
MEGAN: I mean, it seems like a lot of the torch runners are Asian, so maybe it's designed to highlight the Chinese diaspora? Is there such a thing?

MOE: And then in London you had the horrible Chinese thugs issue..
MOE:

Miss Huq, one of 80 torchbearers said: "The men in blue perplexed everyone. Nobody seemed to know who they were officially or what their title was. They were very robotic, very full on, and I noticed them having skirmishes with our own police and the Olympic authorities before our leg of the relay, which was confusing.
"They were barking orders at me, like 'Run! Stop!' and I was like, 'Oh my gosh, who are these people?'
"They kept pushing my hand up higher when I was holding the torch, so they were...interesting."
Miss Huq was nearly knocked to the ground by a protester as thousands of campaigners disrupted the procession to demonstrate against China's human rights abuses and brutality in Tibet.
It was reported the men have been recruited from Chinese special forces brigades. Some came from the feared Flying Dragons and rthe Sword of Flying Dragons counter-terror units.

MOE: Obama joined the boycott bandwagon. Angela Merkel isn't showing up, incidentally.
MEGAN: Or Gordon Brown.
MOE: Yeah, but he's attending the closing ceremony? I guess since London gets the Olympics next there's probably some important torch duty to attend to there. Anyway, meanwhile in China executive compensation is stoking outrage!
MEGAN: Hahaha. So much for "Communism" suckers. Faux meritocracy FTW! You'll get your own mortgage crisis just as soon as the government lets the peons own property!

MOE: Well, um, the government lets the peons own property, they just get backsies if someone wealthier wants to build there. What's interesting is that these "multimillion yuan" salaries are inciting such a huge outcry from Chinese citizens. Do they have any idea of the magnitude of the pay packages of the Western executives who created all that shareholder value outsourcing all their operations to China? I wonder how, or if, the Chinese press covers American corporate culture/excesses/etc.
MEGAN: I have to think they cover it to some degree, right? I mean, the Russians propagandized the hell out of that shit.
MOE: Yeah, but it wasn't an iconic Soviet autocrat who said "To get rich is glorious."
MEGAN: Oh, sure, but not to to people he was oppressing, I think. It's all lifting every boat and shit, work for your comrades, blah blah blah while the people at the top of the hierarchy convince you and themselves that they "deserve" to live better lives because their work is, like, harder and stuff. Just like here!
MOE: And speaking of, the dollar dipped below seven yuan. This is big news because the central bank sets exchange rates.

MEGAN: Wait, so they're actually letting their currency appreciate! Tell the unions! Shout to the steel lobbyists! Inform Congress immediately that there's no need to pass legislation to impose sanctions China for its exchange rate policy, not that it will have any effect on anything whatsoever because it's all about perception in Washington rather than actuality.
MOE: Well yeah and it's not like their policy changed, per se.
MEGAN: Yeah, it's just this thing in DC that has annoyed me for years as though China's the only country on the face of the Earth that doesn't manipulate its exchange rate. I mean, we don't but we sort of do, but the VAST majority of countries in the world don't float their currency.
MEGAN: It just gets shouted about in Washington because it's something to hang a political hat on because no one knows anything about exchange rates and you can make it sound really unique and unfair when it comes to China and the same people shouting about it have no idea of the downstream consequences to our own economy.
MEGAN: [/rant] Caffeine!
MOE: China has kept theirs artificially low, which for us, has been sort of like a reverse mortgage.
MEGAN: Right.
MEGAN: Just another way we in effect financed the universal right to a flat screen. Made in Korea.
MOE: Here's a decent piece on the Olympics and China and what it all means. Although by decent I do not mean "universe altering." Anyway, can anyone tell me, getting back to San Francisco, who were those guys?
MEGAN: They were members of Students for a Free Tibet. All but one of them was over 30.

MOE: Holy shit:

Reached by cell phone as he dangled from the bridge, Sutherlin said he was worried that the torch's planned route through Tibet would lead to more arrests and that Chinese officials

• Have you been wondering, like, where the hell has Hillary gone? What with all the gubernatorial humping and the Bible thumping and the AIDS conspiracy theorizing and the grandmother/bus/throwundering and the fifth anniversary of the war and the "meh" reaction to the public unveiling of her schedule for the entirety of the nineties, you'd think she had, like, left the race! Well, she kind of has. Her own people are giving her a 10% shot at winning the primary. "The notion of the Democratic contest being a dramatic cliffhanger is a game of make-believe." [Politico]
  
• In other words, when her campaign says the Richardson endorsement was "insignificant", they are pretty much on the money. [CNN]
  
• But what kind of job did it buy him? [Wonkette]
  
• Whatever, TAY ZONDAY is back in the news. [Wired]
  
• China released a list of 21 most wanted endangerers of national security. They have mustaches and carry swords. [WSJ]
  
• Why is this State Department bullshit such a big deal? Doesn't anyone think, like, you know, it would be kind of cool to see where Barack Obama traveled back when he went by the name "Barry" and a bunch of other countries went by old names like "Rhodesia" andsuch? Sayin. [Wash Post]

• Why does everyone love David Paterson even though he's a crooked womanizer also? I just assumed, "because it is a lot tougher to pull off being a crooked womanizer when you are blind" but actually it turns out that he is just generally a nice guy. [Wash Post]
• You don't hear about Spain being powerful much anymore but as it turns out they are the secret forces running professional basketball. [WSJ]
• Speaking of the Euros France is getting rid of some of its nukes. [BBC News]
• Abigal Taylor, a 6-year-old girl who had a rare intestine transplant surgery after being disemboweled in a freak pool accident last June, died. [CNN]
• Oh my God Jim Newell you are funny sometimes; why am I old enough to be your typical white grandmother? [Wonkette]
• The Republican attack plan for Obama. [Salon]
• You can still run for mayor after being registered as a sex offender, you are just probably not going to win. [Houston Chronicle]
• Speaking of attacks, this lady may not look scary, but watch out for her outside certain tamer amusement park rides. [Fox News]
• When you live in New York you sometimes forget that you are missing out on anything but here, I just found something. [Very Small Array]

[March 21, Dharamasala. Image via AP.]

MEGAN: The Internet hates Crappy Hour!!

MOE: Oh my god! It's a miracle! You're here!

I'm the most hungover I have ever been

MEGAN: Wow, that's saying something. I'm just morning thirsty, but I might have a Target hangover...

MOE: I have a tequila/beer/whiskey hangover
it is amazing I am here
No nevermind
My fingers don't even work. that is normal

MEGAN: Whoa. Tequila and whiskey should never be mixed.

MOE: So...
HINDSIGHT

MEGAN: So, shall we kick it off with illegal passport searches?

MOE: I guess so. Should I scan in the passport from when I was 4 that i use to get into bars?
Yeah, so, Obama, what the fuck. I mean, what was it they expected to find?

MEGAN: He's a Muslimy Muslim from Muslimstan?

MOE: What if he's been to NORTH KOREA and SYRIA and RED CHINA and also YUCCA MOUNTAIN ????

MEGAN: OMG, he's NUCLEAR, people, NUCLEAR! Only without a nuclear family, so that must be like so bad.

MOE: no he totally has a NUCLEAR FAMILY
and they're PROLIFERATING

MEGAN: Nuclear nonproliferation is best, people.

MOE: ok, oh god, so. what the fuck. I'm like still drunk

MEGAN: And I'm actually caffeinated! This is obviously opposites day. Normally I'm the one whose fucking hungover and you've already had coffee.

So, like, what else is opposite?

MOE: I can barely drink coffee. Um, that stingray story is the opposite of boring!
MEGAN: OMG, this is why I don't go near beaches. Creepy.

Well, that and the fact that I'm ghost pale and hate being all hurty on my skin and having the world make fun of my sunburns.
MOE: The Bill Richardson endorsement was the opposite of what I expected.

MEGAN: I know! Rats, sinking ship, et al. Man, what must he have against Hillary? Why must the boys all gang up on her? It's MISOGYNY.
MOE: OH fuck
MEGAN: Oh, Jesus H. Christ. Also, that's the same publication that published that he was in the church on July 22nd when he wasn't.

MOE: Seriously, seriously I want to go back to bed now.
You think they just pulled that out of their asses?
MEGAN: No, sadly, I'm thinking they didn't.
MOE: That's the problem
MEGAN: Also, frankly, I'll admit, I stopped paying attention to the ins and outs of that particular intractable conflict like 7 years ago, aka, when I finished graduate school, so I'm sure there's refutable stuff in there because it's World Net Daily, but I cannot correctly identify it. But, overall, Obama does advocate dialogue, so it's probably more spun in a certain direction than actually completely wrong.

Sadly.
And, I think this is what happens when you run an anti-establishment campaign staffed with anti-establishment-y scholars. Fuck ups. Lots of 'em.
MOE: Oh yeah they say Obama loves Hamas and hates Israel and some aide of him named Malley is an anti-Semite

MEGAN: As a person of Irish descent, may I just stereotype my people and say: it does not surprise me that one of us would be an anti-Semite.
MOE: OH fuck it's Good Friday

I haven't eaten meat yet

Just cheese

MEGAN: My antidote to this day has been to youtube up some soothing music. And, since I don't celebrate it, hoorah! Steak for dinner!

Do you think there will be specials?
MOE: Maybe they will have Obama halal el sadr specials for people like you.

MEGAN: Or else they'll be full up with goddamn fish specials.
MOE: So that guy who just got fired from the McCain campaign for Twittering that video...

yeah I don't know where I was going with that. Just wanted to provide a link.
9:31 AM
Um, me and my roommate just sang the FreeCreditReport commercial in unison.

MEGAN: Twitter is evil! It's like gmail status, only worse. Like, for instance, a certain conservablogger I know who shall not be named but I know you hate has ended up as a gchat contact of mine, and encouraged everyone recently to be offended by us babykiller-bonerkillers promoting babykilling with a wire hanger necklace. And I almost sent it to you, but thought better of it.

OMG, I totally catch myself doing that and then realize that's the beginning of the descent into utter madness.

MOE: Oohhhhhhh I bet I know who you are talking about!

MEGAN: Shhhhhh.
MOE: I should have seen it coming at me like an atom bomb

MEGAN: Oh, fuck, like she reads this anyway? Certainly not that far into this.
I like the pirate one better than the car one, Free Credit Report.com people. Also, please never again let your actor do the white man's overbite and bob his head on camera ever again.

MOE: Yeah, no one is still reading now.

NO one.

MEGAN: Is it sad how we know this?

No, i have to say, ONE LONE COMMENTER (whyknot) apologized to me the other day for all the shitty white men in my life. So he's probably still reading.

MOE: Oh fuck, awesome scarf, Nancy Pelosi. She has the best scarves.
She like consulted the Dalai Lama on the color.
MEGAN: Why the fuck has Hillary Clinton not gone shopping with Nancy Pelosi? I mean, girl, please. You know you always pick out your most stylish friend and go shopping with her.

MOE: SO TRUE.

WTF HILLARY

MEGAN: Also, Hillary needs to embrace her curves and stop trying to hide her ass. YOUR ASS IS NOT A BAD THING>
MOE: Nancy has your best interests in mind.

MEGAN: It's only a bad thing in mom pants and overly long suit jackets.

MOE: Nancy Pelosi would not undermine.

MEGAN: I'll take you shopping!

No, Nancy would not undermine at all. She's be the one who'd be like, ummm, no, let's try these pants on you instead.
Also, Nordstroms or Needless Markup instead of Macys. It's not like Hillary can't afford nice suits.
And tailoring. Look into tailoring. I have a tailor because I am short and have a big butt, I cannot lie. Her name is Kathy and she's awesome and anyone who lives in DC can email me for her contact information.

MOE: Can we get back to Bill Richardson for a second though? Like, it takes you until practically April to realize Obama is a "once in a lifetime leader"? You don't really have the excuse of, like, not knowing he was until he started visiting your state...
Also did you read the thing on Meghan McCain?

MEGAN: Well, um, he was sorta busy growing the beard and probably getting all the strange he forewent on the campaign trail.
I did. Meghan, I'll repeat myself here on Jezebel if you didn't hear me the first time. Do NOT get a tramp stamp with McCain in an Olde English font. Just. Don't.

MOE: Also I want to point out I read this column at the deli this morning and snorted. Barack O'Bama...you have to be so hungover you're worse than drunk to enjoy that. But look, Drudge linked it!
OH, Meghan, get a fuckin BUTTERFLY on the small of your back if you want, I don't care.
MEGAN: No, please, make an effort not to be a girl cliche. For the good of the sisterhood.

Also, can I Hurt, Charles? NO MORE O'BAMA JOKES. They are not funny.
MOE: You voted for Kerry in '04 and are pretty much the best chance America has seen for a pro-life candidate's daughter needing to get an abortion in the White House since...well...I would have said Jenna Bush, but you know that motto of hers. "Be nice to each other and always use condoms." I bet Meghan doesn't always use condoms...speaking of, I like how she complains how she hasn't gotten laid and the only dudes who want to do her are investment bankers. She needs to become an Obama campaign Springtern!
MEGAN: Although, I have to say, I'm all for a First Daughter who runs on a platform of not fucking i-bankers. Run, Meghan, run! Preach!

(Even if you do have the "h" in your name).

• Happy 21st birthday Mary Kate and Ashley! Yup, as of today, the Olsen twins are legally able to imbibe both Red Bull and vodka. Now go throw up an extra-special birthday dinner girls — you deserve it! [Olsen Twins 21st Birthday Countdown]
  
• Everyone — rulers out! A new study says that math skills can be determined by the ratio of the ring finger to index finger. We tried to calculate our own ratio, but... we're so bad at math we couldn't. [ScienceNow]
  
• Random public service announcement: Grapes and raisins cause kidney failure in dogs. And yes, we checked. [TheKnot.com]
  
• Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the inventor of the Internet, was given England's highest honor, the Order of Merit, by Queen Elizabeth today. Wait a second. Rewind. Didn't Al Gore invent the Internet??? [BBC]
  
• While touring Australia, the Dalai Lama met with Bindi Irwin, the 9-year old daughter of the late Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin. What, is an audience with The Pope next? [CNN]
  
• Don "Mr. Wizard" Herbert died last night at the age of 89. We learned more about science from him during our television-viewing days during the mid-80's than we ever did in school. [CNN]

• We may not know much about science, but we do know that fossils are cool. [NYT]
• K-Fed's rep denies that the ex-Mr. Spears has impregnated the woman he left for Britney, Shar Jackson, yet again. [E!]
• Jake Gyllenhaal? On Broadway? This fall? The gays will go crazy! [People.com]
• Two U.S. casulaties identified today. [DoD]

My feelings about what is beautiful have guided me to create every single thing from a piece of clothing to a flower arrangement in my home. This is my life. So why would my feelings or your or anyone's feelings suddenly become unimportant the moment that we become ill?

When my husband fell ill, I so wished we could turn back the clock and return to Marcus Welby, MD who we all knew when I was a kid. (For you younger folks, he was a popular television doctor, portrayed by the actor Robert Young.)

We need to make policy changes, we need to talk to government and insurance. We need you guys and gals. Who are today's Marcus Welbys? If the odds in the current health care model are stacked against primary care practitioners, then we need to change those odds. We need to make policy changes, we need to talk to government and insurance. We need you guys and gals.