On the surface, the amendment, attached to a defense appropriations bill, may seem a little complicated. It seems less so when you learn why it's necessary. Former Halliburton/KBR employee Jamie Leigh Jones says she was drugged by her coworkers and gang-raped so brutally that she awoke "with lacerations to her vagina and anus, blood running down her leg, her breast implants ruptured and her pectoral muscles torn‚ which would later require reconstructive surgery." She was then locked in a shipping container, presumably to keep her from testifying, and her rape kit and other evidence went mysteriously "missing." When she tried to sue, she was informed that her contract required her to address the allegations in arbitration instead, a process which FishbowlLA's Pandora Young says "overwhelmingly favors the employers." The Guardian also spoke with two other women whose claims of assault or harassment had been ignored by Halliburton/KBR.

Not dealing with companies that actively keep rape victims from justice seems, Stewart says, like a "slam dunk." But not for Sen. Jeff Sessions. He says,

Instead of eliminating arbitration, we should probably be looking for ways to utilize mediation and arbitration more in these kind of disputes.

Makes sense — after all, it's really important for rape victims and the companies that hold them in locked shipping containers while disposing of evidence come to an amicable settlement in a friendly, non-litigious atmosphere. Bonus points if that atmosphere is controlled by the company, as opposed to an impartial court. Because since outsourcing the Iraq war to Halliburton worked so well, we might as well outsource the settlement of rape claims to them too.

Sessions also calls Franken's bill "a political amendment [...] representing a sort of political attack directed at Halliburton." As Stewart points out, this accusation rings a bit hollow, especially since four of the Senators who voted against Franken's bill recently spoke out in favor of an amendment to withdraw government funding from Acorn. Of that amendment, Sen. Richard Shelby said "we've got to get corruption out of any organization that's taking taxpayers' money" — apparently that applies only if those organizations are, you know, liberal. But the real money quote comes from Stewart: "If to protect Halliburton, you have to side against rape victims, you might want to rethink your allegiances."

'The Daily Show' Examines Republican Opposition To Anti-Rape Bill [FishbowlLA]
Rape Case To Force US Defence Firms Into The Open [Guardian]

Abram was first snapped by a Getty photographer outside a town hall meeting in Lebanon, Pennsylvania, carrying a sign that said "you can only pick one," universal health care or freedom. Inside that meeting, she asked Senator Arlen Specter, "what are you going to do to restore the country back to what our founders created, according to the Constitution?" MSNBC broadcast this question, which led, in turn, to interviews with Abram on CNN, FOX News, and MSNBC's own Hardball — and the above clip from last night's Daily Show. Blog commenters on the left and right are comparing Abram to Joe the Plumber, and her TV appearances do reveal some of the pitfalls of elevating non-experts to sudden pundit status.

CNN's Kiran Chetry was pretty soft on Abram yesterday, but she still came off looking pretty confused. Abram's opposition to health care reform seems to come largely from her belief that America's founders would have been against it. She says, "it doesn't say in the Constitution, give out free health care to people, bail out the auto companies." It's a little hard to imagine the framers talking about "auto companies" in the Constitution (they would've needed a crystal ball), but this oversight just highlights the fact that Washington, Madison, Franklin et al knew that the Constitution could never predict all aspects of future American life — that's why there's an amendment process, and a legislative branch. But Abram isn't on CNN to discuss the finer points of American history and governance. She obviously hasn't been coached in these matters, as she doesn't really seem to understand that the Senate is part of Congress. So why is Abram on TV? Let's look at her Fox News interview with, yes, Sean Hannity.

Hannity is even easier on Abram than Chetry, and the whole segment is kind of meta, talking a lot about how it feels for Abram to be "in the national spotlight." Again, Abram shows she's no policy wonk. She's just an ex-Democrat who switched parties when she saw how much she had to pay in taxes. About health care reform, she tells Hannity,

George Washington is rolling over in his grave right now. This is not what the Constitution wrote. The people in this country are strong enough to just ... do what you need to do.

People "just doing what they need to do" is pretty vague solution to America's health care problems — are those who lose their health insurance due to layoffs, or can't get any because of a pre-existing condition, just not "strong enough?" It doesn't really matter, though, because Hannity doesn't really have Katy Abram (or her mostly mute husband Sam) on his show for their words. His comment to Abram is telling: "I'm listening to your passion."

What's striking about Abram isn't her grasp of policy — which is frankly poor — it's the real emotion with which she delivers her somewhat wrongheaded criticisms. She's obviously angry when she talks to Specter, and she gets choked up on Fox recalling the encounter. Abram is an example Hannity can use to show that the American people are riled up, that health care reform has indeed, as Abram told Specter, "awakened a sleeping giant." But anger, when it's not backed by understanding, doesn't solve anything.

On Hardball last night, Lawrence O'Donnell (filling in for Chris Matthews) was much less forgiving of Abrams's lack of expertise. The clip above shows her admitting that she doesn't know how much money her family makes in a year, and that "my husband takes care of the bills and everything." O'Donnell pointedly asks if she would tell her parents not to participate in Medicare, since it's a single-payer system — she answers, "we don't talk politics." And when he asks her for her opinion on Medicare in general, she gets a deer-in-the-headlights expression and stammers, "a lot of the programs that are in place were not supposed to be here."

But some parts of the interview are actually kind of touching. Abram does get that some people can't afford health insurance. When she says that she thinks "the goodness of the people" can take care of such problems, she admits that it sounds naïve. It does, but at least she knows it. And when O'Donnell asks why she never cared about politics before (she mentioned this to Specter at the meeting), for example, in the wake of 9/11 or after the invasion of Iraq, she says,

[...] you know, I really didn't start even watching the news at all, I think, until maybe 1991, I guess it was, when we first went to the Gulf War. I remember watching CNN with my dad and watching the — the infrared missiles going across that you could see. And I think it — to me — maybe I'm just not that smart, but, you know, it seems like we have kind of been at war for — since then.

It's not a dumb thing to say, and Abram's statement that war "just seems commonplace now" is really kind of an accurate commentary on American life. Katy Abram sounds like a lot of people in this country — a little mystified about why the government does what it does. She's not evil, and she's not stupid, and if she doesn't quite understand Obama's health care plan and its relationship to the Constitution, she's certainly not alone. Unlike most Americans, however, she's now on TV. And like Joe the Plumber, her views now have a legitimacy they may not deserve.

The problem is that the media — especially Hannity — confuse relatability with information. Hannity wants to show us someone who's not a plant, who's "not part of any organized group," who's just like us. But just like most of us, Abram doesn't really know much about health care. And if we want to resolve what's becoming an increasingly nasty national argument, we need to start listening to people who do.

Mom Strikes Nerve At Town Hall [CNN]
Healthcare Reform Opponent Plays Hardball [MSNBC]
"Sleeping Giant" Woman From Specter Town Hall On "Hannity" [YouTube]

Earlier: Katy Lied

Bee defended Palin, asking Stewart to leave her family alone, revising the definition of resignation to accommodate world views other than the myopic ones of liberal East Coast dictionary writers, explaining the rules of maverick basketball and breaking the latest Palin resignation news. I mean, her family understands that "you can't suckle from the teat of a shooting star."

• Tina Fey finally dished about her mysterious scar in Vanity Fair and we wondered whether she'd be famous if she hadn't glammed up.
• Speaking of celebrity makeovers, Britney had her umpteenth comeback, and though her weave was clean, the sparkle in her eye was gone.
• Scarlett Johansson never needed a makeover because she's actually a clone.

• True story: Nicole Kidman actually cloned herself and had the cyborg clone carry her baby so she wouldn't have to get fat or give up botox. Everyone in Australia swears this is fact.
• Non-cloned stars like Anne Hathaway are just like us! They get flustered when they meet ultimate nerd crush Jon Stewart.
• Private Monica Brown won the silver star and haters are still trying to bring her down. Jon Stewart would never do that.
• Nuclear Wintour was rumored, but Anna herself denied that she was leaving the editor slot at Vogue.
• Guys, it's Friiiday. So cut your ball hair grab a Chow Chow and relax. You've earned it!

Doris Kearns Goodwin Interview [The Daily Show]

• Only eight more weeks, people! At least we have hilarious helpers like Sarah Haskins and Samantha Bee to shepherd us through these difficult times.
• I don't know if you'd heard, it's kind of under the radar, but Bristol Palin is pregnant. Some of us think it is a non-issue.
• Others of us want to use it to question Palin's policy on education, abortion, and health care.
• But you know, asking Palin questions about these things is just SEXIST, you pinko media elites!

• Our very own media elite, Megan, braved the RNC so we didn't have to.

• Instead, we sat at home with our righteous, indignant, borderline insane rage.
• Ok. Deep breaths people. You know what? It's Friday. Find your own personal Levi The Defiler and bang the crap out of that gum-chewing troglodyte! It'll get your mind off things. Just remember use a rubber.

• Authorities have beef with Shia: A warrant has been issued for the arrest of Mr. LaBeouf — he got a ticket in February for unlawful smoking and never showed up in court. Whoops! [TMZ]
  
• Those Kristin Davis photos? Real! Snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. [TMZ]
  
• Ethan Hawke: Not over Uma? He recently sang a song at the 24-Hour Plays event with lyrics like "My wife hates me," and "My wife is a big fat beast." WTF. [New York Magazine]
  
• Oh, no. A feud has broken out in Heath Ledger's family regarding his estate. Heath's uncles are not happy that Heath's father, Kim, is in charge of the money — since when Heath's grandfather died 15 years ago, Kim was removed as executor of the estate after mishandling and mismanaging the assets. Messy, and sad. [People]
  
• Does Amy Winehouse really have impetigo? It could also be MRSA! A doc who doesn't treat Amy says she "should not be coming into close contact with other people while she has open sores," blerg. [TMZ]

• Um, Bryan Adams wrote a song about Amy Winehouse. The lyrics to "Flower Grown Wild" go thusly: "Amid the stars and the bars, the pimps and pills... The picture faded and the day was done, went home to nothin' but a loaded gun... She may look like a lady, but she's a flower grown wild... Nobody saw the tears in your silk and lace, the scarred little kid behind your face." [Mirror]
• As previously reported, Halle Berry has named her daughter Nahla Ariela Aubry. Nahla means "honeybee" in Arabic, sez a professor (yesterday we heard it meant "drink of water"). Possible schoolyard taunts: Nuh-uh, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-I-can't-hear-you. [People]
• Tina Fey insinuates that Jon Stewart prompts applause with a sign. "My friend Seth Meyers coined the term 'clapter,' which is when you do a political joke and people go, 'Woo-hoo.' It means they sort of approve but didn't really like it that much. You hear a lot of that on [whispers] The Daily Show.'" [Page Six]
• Sopranos star and singer Dominic Chianese wants to do a duet with Madonna? Bada bing. [Page Six]
• Even though Heather Mills got a hefty divorce settlement, she's looking to sell her story — and some photos and tape recordings — for $2 million. Any takers? [Page Six]
• Director Anthony Minghella, who died yesterday, praised Jill Scoott in the new issue of Vogue. Minghella directed Scott in upcoming flick The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency and said: "She is extremely stellar. I think she can be a real star." [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan refused to walk the red carpet of an event until organizers took down a backdrop with Paris Hilton's name on it. Plus: The star "pitched a hissy fit" on the set of a Visa commercial because someone served her a burrito. "She doesn't eat on shoots," he rep says. Eyeroll. [Rush & Molloy]
• Also acting like a diva: Kim Kardashian, who wouldn't pose for photos at a NYC club until she received $5,000. Effing hell. [Rush & Molloy]
• Beyoncé didn't greet fans on the set of Cadillac Records, the Etta James movie, because it was raining and she had to preserve her hairdo. Priorities! [Rush & Molloy]
• "I'm a big Obama supporter." — Ryan Phillippe. [Rush & Molloy]
• Topless pictures of Audrina from The Hills! "I took these photos years ago when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I was young and very trusting of others and I didn't know to protect myself," she says. So she dressed up like a naughty schoolgirl... from the waist down. [TMZ]
• Kirstie Alley has signed a deal with Oprah's production company to develop TV projects. Cheers! [People]
• In court Tuesday, Howard K. Stern denied giving Daniel Smith, Anna Nicole's son, drugs. He also claimed to be shocked drugs were found in Daniel's system: "He wasn't that kind of kid." [E!]
• Minnie Driver wants to have a water birth at home in Malibu. [Mirror]
• Lily Allen has moved in with a new man! The guy is a producer named Robertson Furze and Lily seems to be happy so good for them. [The Sun]
• Jamie Spears' plan to save Britney's life is obviously about getting her finances in order. "If Britney never goes back to work, there is no reason she and her kids shouldn't be able to live a very comfortable life with the kind of money she has in the bank," says a source. But! She doesn't have as much as people think! "Those figures of $100 million or more were so off the mark," an insider says. It's more like $40 mil, sigh. [MSNBC]
• Simon Cowell paid off the mortgage for the family of a little girl with cancer. "I'm her guardian angel," Simon said. It's easy to snark on the stoopid stuff but when good things happen, what are you supposed to say? [Mirror]
• William Baldwin's wife, Chynna Phillips, puts her underwear on his head when they have sex so she knows where they are when they're done. Romantic! And practical. [The Sun]