• Sometimes the morning brings good news: Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana are going to play Italian priests in the movie version of Nine, which was inspired by Fellini's 8 1/2. Priests! [Elle UK]

• And here's the bad news: The U.S. Department of Labor reports job losses of nearly 10,000 in the apparel and textile sector for January alone. Departent stores cut nearly 9,000 positions the same month. [WWD]
• Luxury conglomerate It Holding SpA, which owns the labels Gianfranco Ferre and Malo, may go into bankruptcy. The Italian stock exchange has suspended trade of its stock indefinitely. [WSJ]
• Residents of San Francisco's Mission district — kind of like the Williamsburg of the west — successfully fought a proposed American Apparel using the city's stringent permit requirement laws for chain stores. The idea of hundreds of American Apparel-clad hipsters arguing the finer points of locally-owned commerce to the planning commission is a little wacky but sweet. [SF Gate]
• Meanwhile, spunky Badgers influenced the University of Wisconsin to let its contract with Russell Apparel, owner of the Russell Athletic brand, lapse following reports of anti-union activity by the company in Honduras. [U.S. News]
• Phoebe Philo talks at some length about her design process for her first Céline pre-spring and resort collections, which are to be shown in June. There's nary a mention of the fact that her first Céline collection was to be for fall 09, which booster Anna Wintour had booked into an exclusive Vogue editorial for the March issue, and which sources recently reported LVMH had gotten "a team" to work on in Philo's stead. [WWD]
• This completely escaped my notice: the real people in the background of the ad campaign for Isaac Mizrahi's first collection for Liz Clairborne include bloggers Dannielle Kyrillos of Daily Candy and Katrina Longworth of Spout Blog. Wonder whose idea that was? [Brand Freak]
• Model Heather Marks diaried her food intake for seven days in the run-up to New York fashion week. You can now commence arguing about whether or not it's healthy; I vote her a paragon of nutritional virtue, but then, I've been in this industry a long time. [Grub St.]
• Fendi's sole perfume, Palazzo, which launched in 2007, is being taken off the market due to disappointing sales. [WWD]
• Victoria's Secret has hired an L.A. entertainment company to help place their products in film and television venues. Look forward to a net increase of characters taking moments to adjust their VS bra straps in 3, 2, 1... [Brand Week]
• The Times of London has a sneak peek at a new exhibition of Madonna's clothes in the English capital, and a fascinating take on the semiotics of her Madgesty's dress. [Times of London]
• Oooh. I totally want stationery that features designers' doodles and sketches. [WWD]
• Fashion houses seem of two minds about how to design for the recession: some, like Louis Vuitton and Zac Posen, are talking all about "classic" this and neutral colors that, while others, like Coach, want more than ever to harness the bright sparkle of trendiness that might make their products stand out from others'. Everyone's going to be watching to see what Marc Jacobs does, of course. [WSJ]
• And whatever that might be, the Guardian has a good, long appreciation of Jacobs' recent Stephen Sprouse collection for Louis Vuitton, and a more than a few 80s New York stories of the designer himself. [Guardian]
• Unsurprisingly, Kate Moss is the female celebrity women most want to dress like. I think, cough, she is part of the reason Hunter rubber boots are selling so well, Wall Street Journal. [The Sun]
• Ew, Fergie has a shoe line now. [WWD]
• McDonald's McCafe will be the "official coffee" of New York fashion week, with espresso and drip coffee available for free in the tents all week long. Naturally they're expecting front-row celebs to be photographed, paper cups in hand. Micky D's hasn't traditionally had the best outreach with the womenfolk; I guess by now they figured out the shortest distance to a girl's heart is via vanilla latte. [AdAge]
• The pre-holiday 70% and 80% markdowns at Saks and other department stores were just a harbinger of things to come. Expect the big stores that can afford the hit to keep pushing prices down — and expect the smaller concerns to continue struggling to compete. [WSJ]
• This is just ridiculous. Heel height has nothing to do with the economic climate, and "sky-high heels," which I'm pretty sure didn't even exist in the 1930s since they didn't then know how to achieve height and strength by using a metal core within the heel shaft, have been in for about the last four years and certainly aren't any new recession thing. Who writes this crap, and why aren't they busy getting to the bottom of the Lipstick Sales Conundrum or retooling the Hemline Bellwether hypothesis? [The Sun]
• American Eagle Outfitters is suing Citigroup for allegedly misleading them into buying assets that they were assured were safe and liquid, but whose value has now plummeted. [Dealbook]
• Unlike Kellogg's, Speedo is standing by Michael Phelps in the wake of being photographed doing whatever he was doing with that unusual-looking pipe. [WWD]
• Jason Wu's PR firm threw the 26-year-old designer a party at the Soho Grand ahead of fashion week. [Style.com]
• Love magazine, the hotly-awaited brainchild of power stylist Katie Grand (formerly of Pop) has leaked its inaugural cover. It's a triple header, with one featuring Agyness dressed up as Queen Elizabeth II, another showing Iris Strubegger as a purple-haired cyber clubkid, and the third with Iggy Pop. Looks like a winner. [Models.com]

Now that your company, Comcast, has bought online advertorial behemoth Daily Candy for a staggering $125 million, you may be wondering what your big bucks will get you. After the jump, allow us to help with a little tour of today's Daily Candy's offerings. Since the ideal Daily Candy reader is willing to spend tons of money on useless, expensive shit, you should fit right in!

Since the economy is shot, your corporate credit card is probably getting all flabby in your wallet. So "give your AmEx a workout" at Kirna Zabete.com, featured in Daily Candy Everywhere. Here you can purchase garments described as "high-dollar," which is how we say "expensive" in Candyland.












Even media honchos lounge by the pool sometimes, and Daily Candy can help! Check out their Miami edition, which shills for Krelwear's Resort Collection. These "one-of-a-kind pieces" go best with "a man and a mojito," so get shaking! The best part: they take up to three months to make, so the recession might be over by the time they get to you.









We know Comcast has some "crimes and vices" on its conscience — like allegedly blocking legal BitTorrent traffic. So wash them away with "white gold detoxifying salt from the Himalayas" as seen on Daily Candy New York. How do commoners clean themselves without white gold? You don't even want to know.






And finally, just in case America in 2008 doesn't seem enough like a moribund monarchy in which the poor are neglected by a thoughtless aristocracy, take a look at Daily Candy Chicago. That's right, today's headline is "Let Them Eat Cake." "Sophisticated organic" cake, that is, not from a mere bakery but from a "cake parlor." Recessionlicious!

xo,
Jezebel

Comcast Sets Deal To Buy Daily Candy [Wall Street Journal]

New York: Scraping the bottom of the idea barrel, the people at DC recommend that we try your hand at "moneygami," or, as it is more commonly called, "like, those dollar rings we used to make in seventh grade." Sure to impress our numberonecrush in Health class!
Daily Candy: New York

Washington D.C.: Raising the bar on indoor crafts just a bit higher than the DC staffers in New York, DC Daily Candy editors propose that we make our own terrariums. Educational and evidence of our loneliness! Afterwards, we can pretend that we live in the terrarium and start our own world where we talk to unicorns and make magic spaghetti out of moss!
Daily Candy: Washington D.C.

Philadelphia: To remind us of our tomboy phase (or perhaps to help us come to terms with our lack of thick facial hair?), the girls in Philly propose a $65.00 wooden mustache for us to "disguise" ourselves with. This will go great with our collection of other useless, overpriced, and ridiculously unnecessary things that end up in the bottom of our underwear drawers with bits of lint and wacky tobbacky.
Daily Candy: Philadelphia

Seattle: For all of the 8- to 18-year-olds catching up on the latest from DC, The Paul Green School of Rock Music is opening and accepting students. The awkward cynicism, acne, and sloppily-grown-out bowl-cuts are sure to be plentiful for all us future pretentious Pitchfork writers.
Daily Candy: Seattle

New York: The gals at DC in NYC suggest that your boyfriend's "bulging muscles" would "ripple" in some fire-red long-johns (with convenient neck-to-nuts buttons!). They also suggest a hanging, chimney-less fireplace that starts at a modest $1,260! Perhaps you should ditch the fire-hazard and just get a ceramic space-heater for $19.99 instead?


Boston: Get your guy away from his Wii with a Jack Spade "natural wood" — you know, lest you thought it was made of particle board — slingshot! Seriously, this is an actual thing. We suggest you buy two, so he has something with which to hurl this crappy gift back at you.


Chicago: Money clips made with the same steel they use in space! Guess what other metal they use in space? Aluminum! Yeah, not as exciting. Money better spent: $9.99 space ice cream.


Los Angeles: More long johns! Because if there is one place you need the added warmth of full-body undergarments it is LA. These are by Marc Jacobs though so your "straight" boyfriend will LURVE them! Also more space-related items: Fisher Space Pen. It can write underwater! You know that will come in handy.


Philadelphia: The only DC we've seen to target non-boyfriends, this one suggests the flamboyant, embarrassing ties you used to buy for your dad when you were in fifth grade. Oooooh, counterintuitive! So glad gift guides exist to dispense advice like this.


San Francisco: The team at DC in SF suggest a wrist camera. We know that this might have sounded like a really cool idea in the brainstorming session (where editors flip through old issues of SkyMall over green tea and designer marshmallows) but people have these ingenious contraptions called cameraphones now, so... oh Jesus Christ, forget it.


Washington D.C.: Got a lot of money to burn? How about a pair of custom-made, two-ply, 160 thread count boxers with mother-of-pearl buttons and a "roomy posterior"? At $76 a pair you could waste a lot of money on a piece of clothing that will eventually be covered in skid marks. But not as much money as DC D.C.'s other suggestion: hiring a documentary filmmaker to make a movie about his life! No, seriously!

Daily Candy Everywhere: Eat overpriced yeast rolls.
Jezebel Weekend Guide: Eat yogurt; avoid carbs AND a yeast infection!

Daily Candy Boston: Get some henna tattoos at a "henna tattoo party."
Jezebel Weekend Guide: Buy a sharpie, paint your nails with it at a bar, where sharpie will magically enable you to pick up tattooed wannabe vandals that you harbor no illusions of ever actually dating in honor of National Singles & Unmarried Americans Week. Stupid but it will actually work.

Daily Candy Chicago: Buy greeting cards, become an instant witty asshole!
Jezebel Weekend Guide: Buy drugs, become an instant witty asshole.

Daily Candy Dallas: Pay $35 for coffee and a light breakfast, and the luxury to spend the morning sketching with others.
Jezebel Weekend Guide: Pay $5.90 and do this exact same fucking thing at Starbucks.

Daily Candy Miami: Show your third nipple and try out for the acrobatic freak sex show troupe at Spiegelworld.
Jezebel Weekend Guide: Uhhh, for those of you without third nipples, do cartwheels at a park and apply the acrobatics to sex and/or beer bongs.

There are fecal references in both the Dallas and London entries; whoever wrote Kids maybe kinda hates their children, Travel features a photo of a dog wearing a ridiculous contraption and plugs Gas-B-Gone, a "fart absorbing cushion" and Seattle's review of a newly opened diner is written to the tune of "Casey Jones" by the Grateful Dead. "Trouble ahead/lady in red/Ultra-fresh BLTs and chopped salads will knock you dead."

[Daily Candy]

DailyCandy Everywhere reminds us of that time we totally assured our best friend that the flower on her dinner plate was edible. Even though we weren't so sure. And then she got a stomach ache.

DailyCandy Atlanta is on crack if they think we want to vacation in Perry, GA. Some of us here are from Georgia. We can't be fooled. Lunch at the local Mrs. Winner's chicken and avoiding the Klan do not a vacation make.

DailyCandy Chicagoeditors are so weirdly plagued with I-Want-A-Baby Fever that they've turned a plug for greeting cards into an admission of their own baby-lust.

DailyCandy Los Angeles announces the death of the cupcake.

DailyCandy Miami wants us to eat candy instead. Is candy the new cupcakes? Or rather, was candy the new cupcakes 5 years ago?

DailyCandy New York suggests we replace cupcakes with yogurt.

• Al "I'm The Man Who Was Elected President, But Whatever I'm A Movie Star Now" Gore has "fallen out of love" with politics, he says. And thus will not be running for president... again. If this is true, what a drama queen! If this isn't true, what an even bigger drama queen! Simmer down, Al! (And if you need some help with that, we're sure your son has some pills that could help.) [CNN]
  
• We [heart] brave kittens. Especially when they're better swimmers than we'll ever be. [ABCNews]
  
• The list of that D.C. madam's hooker-hiring politicians goes public! God, this is going to be more entertaining to watch than an America's Next Top Model. [The Smoking Gun]
  
• Taking "til death do us part" to a whole other level, a Welsh couple commit joint suicide after finding out that the husband had only a few weeks to live. In their suicide notes, they said they knew they could not live without one another. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro: You guys are jokes. [Daily Mail UK]

• Our mother always told us that swimming pools were scary places. And just now had we mustered up the strength to buy our first-ever bathing suit in attempt to get over our fears. Then we read this. Bathing suit: Now in a drawer forever. [ABCNews]
• MTV has ordered a 4th season of Laguna Beach. What's that sound? Oh yes, our souls shattering. [Star]
• Good news for Russia: You're all over the runways! Bad news for Russia: It's looking more and more like you poison your own kind. [NYT]
• DailyCandy-ites rejoice: Sex and the City: The Movie is going to happen, at last. [E!]
• 6 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]

DailyCandy Everywhere thinks we're S&M queens with money to burn. So hell, why not invest in black croc spats?

DailyCandy Atlanta seems more invested in mocking the speech patterns and colloquialisms of our native South than promoting some stupid owl pendant [Hey. I like owls. -Ed.] that was popular with women, like, oh, a year ago?

DailyCandy Boston thinks we're sinners. Because we eat.

DailyCandy Chicago thinks we're stupid enough to pay good money to have our coffee grounds "read" (yes, just like tea leaves) by some sort of psychic quack tasseographist. Over the phone.

DailyCandy Los Angeles gets pleasure (or financial kickbacks!) from the pain of our bad hair days.

DailyCandy Seattle has the hypochondriacs among us convinced that we're going to die a slow, painful, bacterial infection-instigated death from working at our computer.