1.) He had sex with his daughter when she was 17 years old.


2.) He didn't consider this rape, but rather, "making love."


3.) He continued to have sex with his daughter for a decade.


4.) He suggested he and his daughter live as man and wife.


5.) He might have gotten his daughter pregnant.


6.) He taught his 10-year-old child how to roll joints, then made her the official joint-roller.


7.) He taught his teenager how to tie-off and shot her up for the first time.


8.) He reinforced negative behavior.


9.) He gave terrible advice.


10.) He didn't do such a great job with his other kids either.

Since Jackson's death, it's been rumored that Dr. Klein — sort of a cross between Larry Flynt and Harvey Pekar — was the sperm donor for his two oldest children. It was a strange way to phrase a denial of those rumors. Klein also told Sawyer that he'd been aware of some of the drugs that Michael was taking, but not to the extent that was later discovered. Klein, who treated Jackson for Lupus and Vitiligo, also remarked on how unhappy he was with plastic surgeons who continued to work on Jackson's face and didn't know when to stop

First there's "I'm A Better Dad Part-Time," by Richard Seely , who claims that from the moment his daughter was born, she and her mother were forming a bond "and I was, to some degree, excluding myself." As she grew older, Seely's daughter would go into "theatrics" in the absence of her mother. Seely writes:

I lost patience with this behaviour, and ultimately with many of her imperfections.

I became more and more of an ogre. I would snap at her. Tell her "no" sometimes for no other reason than to distinguish myself from her mother. If she got an A on a report card, I'd ask why it wasn't an A-plus. Unconsciously, I would intimidate her. Once - I can't even remember what she had done - all I had to do was look at her and my expression sent her running to her room, afraid of me. I never hit her, and have never contemplated any form of physical response toward her or anyone else, but what mattered was that I made her afraid of me.

And so, when he and his wife got divorced, he was fine with the mother getting custody of the child. He says of his daughter:

Because I don't see her every day, I have much more tolerance for the behaviours that used to frustrate me. I offer comfort instead of scorn if she misses her mother when she's away on a business trip. I celebrate the time we spend together, be it an hour or two after school or a weeklong camping trip in the summer.

I'm happier and more secure in my role as a parent than I ever was before.

But: Does any of this seem like a cop-out? Of course it's easier to be "tolerant" and happy when you've only got to deal with a kid part time; instead of being awakened in the night by fevers or managing tantrums, you're only there for ice cream and games and camping. Fun! But is that parenting, or is that just "hanging out" with a child, like an Aunt, Uncle or family friend would do?

The guy referenced in Strollerderby's post A Dad's Point of View: Am I Selfish? Or Just a Jerk? at least seems self-concious enough to realize he's selfish. Bruce Sallan writes about a ski trip taken with his wife and 12-year-old son. Blogger Keri summarizes his story thusly:

Son got a bad nosebleed. Dad tended to him, called the hospital, found out what to do, and sat with the boy until the blood stopped, almost 30 minutes later. Dad wanted to take turns with Step-mom going skiing, so that one would be with the kid and one on the slopes at all times. Step-mom volunteered to stay with the boy the whole time. After 45 minutes on the mountain, nosebleed recommences, Step-mom calls Dad, and Dad returns to Son. Son wants to go home.

Did the dad take the kid home? No. Sallan explains: "I gave him a relatively stern talk on being a man, learning to deal with some pain, as there will be some pain in life... I explained that running away would only teach him how not to deal with life's crises… We give in to our children's whims and complaints too easily. Sometimes, we as parents need to take care of our needs... [Step-mom] chose to be over-the-board careful and I chose to be, what some might say, selfish..." Beyond the fact that teaching your kid to "toughen up" is soooo 1950s and reinforces some nasty stereotypes about what it means to be a man, don't both of these stories make you wonder why these dads feel no shame about being so selfish? And don't you wonder what the mothers think of such behavior?

I'm A Better Dad Part-Time [Globe And Mail]
A Dad's Point of View: Am I Selfish? Or Just a Jerk? [Strollerderby]
Related: A DAD'S POINT OF VIEW: Am I A Selfish Parent? [HuntingtonNews.net]

It should be said that this is merely a corollary to a light-hearted article by author Tom Hodgkinson railing against the tyranny of expensive "outings" and promoting the joys of staying at home with kids. Or, as he puts it,

One happy day, I sat in the armchair reading my William Morris biography while Henry played on the floor with his toy tractors, Delilah cut up bits of paper, and Arthur read The Beano. Later I found myself making a pair of sunglasses out of a cereal packet with Delilah.

Indeed. His friend "James" takes another approach:

Fertile neglect is the name of that policy: leaving the boy to his own devices so I can pursue mine and he can develop those solitary skills that will serve him in future airports, waiting rooms and prisons. It came about simply because I found actual down-at-his-level waving-tiny-figurines PLAYING to be, for some reason, soul-destroying-the arbitrary and despotic movements of the child-mind and all that. Bonus side effect: when you do consent, in moments of magnanimity, to lower yourself to their play-level they are incredibly grateful.

This is, one presumes, humorous. I hope. Because it's quite bad enough to not get to spend time with one's dad - because of work, divorce, responsibilities, any number of realities. To have him there - but unwilling to spend time with you - must be great for a small child's self-esteem! Poor guy, one can hardly expect him to enjoy playing with his own children - it's not like one can obtain joy from watching a child's pleasure! No, only those arrested types who enjoy playing with toddler toys can actually bear this sort of thing. And he's absolutely right; God forbid your child take your attention for granted! One can only imagine how effective his mind games are with women!

I get it: dads want to get in on the trend of exploding domesticity myths. Raising kids isn't all sunshine and Full House-style learning and growing. But for some reason it's different when it comes from a father; we don't yet, as a society, take their involvement enough for granted for this to be funny. A dad emotionally neglecting his kids? Not comedic. Maybe it's a double-standard, fellas - and that, we've heard, is rough.

The Idle Parent [Slate]

A piece on CNN talks about the phenomenon of women who are drawn to husbands like their fathers. By way of illustration, we're given a number of marriages, both successful and unsuccessful, in which similarities between a woman's husband and her father range from those as commonplace as a shared love of politics, to unsettling things like uncanny physical resemblances or abusive temperaments. There are, of course, a lot of obvious reasons people do this: the piece cites the "comfort of familiarity" as well as the natural desire to replicate those qualities you loved and admired in a parent. Other times, the motivation is more complicated, namely in those cases where someone subconsciously wishes to "make amends" for a troubled childhood. Says one expert whom the article quotes,

This is most common if you felt rejected or abandoned by a parent and still haven't worked through it...Your psyche wants to go back to the scene of the crime, so to speak, and resolve that parental relationship in a marriage.

Needless to say, it rarely works out.

It's funny this article should appear just now, because the other day a friend and I were talking about the fact that, while we both have close and loving relationships with fathers we admire, neither of us has ever dated a man anything like him. We came up with a theory of our own: maybe, when you're super-close to a dad, in some sense you don't feel a need to replicate him, because you choose to believe he'll always be there. Like, that niche is filled: no one else need apply. Childish and unrealistic, maybe, but it seems plausible. I talk to my dad several times per week; why would I need another version of that dynamic? - might be how the thinking goes. It should probably be noted that neither of us is remotely qualified to be advancing any behavioral theories whatsoever.

What's inarguable is that for people of any sex, relationships with parents are huge, and probably enough analysis can unearth a huge number of complex theories about anyone. It's a difficult balance to recognize enough about these relationships and motivations to correct persistently self-destructive behaviors and be mindful of repeated tendencies, yet be able to take your relationships at face value and move on. After all, being overly aware of the extent to which your parents influence your romantic life is pretty creepy, too - unless both the men in your life have Keith Hernandez moustaches, love of curling, aversion to crawfish, obsession with 18th Century French poetry, Moby Grape and similar verbal ticks, you're probably okay.

Why You're Likely To Marry Your Parent [CNN]

Bret kinda stumbled for an answer, but ultimately he said that he wouldn't mind if his daughters fell in love with rock stars, as long as it wasn't just a one-night thing. He made no mention about how he felt about the possibility of them doing vagina shots.

Earlier: The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History

The American Apparel CEO has taken in a fellow named Jonny Makeup, and letting him live in his fancy mansion. It's a little weird to not see a young girl's side boob, camel toe, or wedgie in an American Apparel ad. What's weirder is that Jonny exclusively refers to Dov as "Daddy." Jonny is going to bat for his Daddy, and emailed Street Carnage to talk about Dov's legal battles and accuse one lawyer involved in Dov's lawsuits of extortion. [Street Carnage]

As partially quoted in Dirt Bag this morning, Rolling Stone says:

Of all the things Britney has lost in the past year, it's the custody of her sons, Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden, 2, that has shaken her hardest. "Every time they come to visit me, I think about how they're such special people," says Spears, who currently sees the boys three days a week, with one overnight stay. "Like, they're going to preschool now! I went there to pick them up on Friday, and seeing them in their little classroom and seeing Jayden being bad or not listening? It's like, those are mine, and it's just crazy, you know what I mean?…Things haven't turned out like she imagined. "I didn't think my husband was gonna leave me," she says, deadpan. She laughs to break the tension. "Otherwise, I'd be with my babies 24/7. But since they're almost like twins, they both take care of each other. I think they look like me," she says, going from affectionate to bitter as she gets distracted by thoughts of Federline, whom she sees only when one of them is picking up the boys. "They don't look like their father at all," she continues. "And it's weird 'cause they're starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids."

From this, it sounds like Federline is giving the kids minimal attention and not caring if they act up or misbehave in class. Britney was run through the muck for being a terrible mother, even though it was obvious at the time that she was having severe mental issues. The tabloid media is always denigrating celebrity moms, but when was the last time you remember a celebrity dad being lambasted publicly?

Britney Returns [Rolling Stone]

"I hope I don't become a cougar anytime soon," she adds with a laugh. "I throw out all my animal-print dresses recently out of fear of exactly that!"

But she's still got issues. Maybe she was looking for a grandfather figure?

The Odd Couple [Marie Claire]

• Remember how, before Sofia Coppola was a fashion icon and Marc Jacobs muse and celebrity spokesmodel for numerous fashion labels, she actually worked in fashion and had her own clothing line? Yeah, well the clothing line actually still exists, in Japan. [Sassybella]
  
• Also, Marc Jacobs' new fragrance Daisy has its own film. Sigh. [Sassybella]
  
• The new face of lingerie line Agent Provocateur is Catherine Bailey. Who is 46 years old. We think this is pretty awesome, but we fear the dreaded Photoshop of Horrors. [Sassybella]
  
• Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour celebrated a birthday on Saturday! Maybe you want to send your belated birthday wishes to the Conde Nast building? [Fashion Week Daily]

• Tai-chi inspired lounge wear is the new yoga-inspired lounge wear! And Celine spokeswoman/actress Emmanuelle Seigner is teaming up with the Celine design team to create a line of it. (Actual model Karen Elson will take over.) [WWD, 1st item]
• See these Ferragamo flats? They cost $395. I got identical flats at Dolce Vita on sale for $30. [FabSugar]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati on being a child of divorce: "I was always the kid - I had to be careful how to express things, I could never be aggressive. Then my sexuality developed into homosexuality. And I think that this helped me, in the sense that I finally had the chance to understand a man's world, from the inside....I never liked [my father]. I went through so many things in my life by myself, I didn't need him, but I needed a man, I needed a father. So I got used to the idea, and grew up making my own decisions." [Vogue UK]