curealls - Jezebel

posts about #curealls more →
Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Oldies But Goodies

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

broad
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
My new favorite thing in the world:

The "howling" during the last three minutes -- and any exaggerated howling of any kind, really -- never fails to brighten a mood. Also, this: [www.misternicehands.com] because I'm 12.
Reply

broad was starred broad was unstarred

Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Harry Potter, Law and Order, Little House on the Prairie, Ugly Betty, Star Trek The Next Generation, jazz or bluegrass, singing to disco, ("The Nights of Broadway" really does it for me), and writing comedy to amuse myself helps. For instance a few years ago an in-law was becoming such a soul drain that I started writing a play with her as the meanest most over the top antagonist I could think of. Think Voldemort in a dress, and wow, did that help put things into perspective.
Reply

poires et poireaux
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Having an artistic temperament is such a blessing/curse, but I find making art, be it drawing, painting, writing, etc is sooo cathartic. It gets frustrating when I try to make it something good, but I think if I give myself time to just make bad art, it helps.
Reply

poires et poireaux was starred

Slumdog_Mamabear
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
All my "things" aren't working. The last few months have been really hard and I haven't been honest with anyone about it. I just keep telling everyone that I have faith and that I am so lucky to have a good husband and good kids and yadda yadda.

Sometimes I feel like I am standing in the middle of the room bleeding from every orifice and everyone is walking around me just going about their business.

I know this is postpartum depression and I know it will pass. But I don't feel it right now. It just feels dark.

This might qualify as an overshare. Sorry
Reply

Slumdog_Mamabear was starred Slumdog_Mamabear was unstarred

poires et poireaux
02/13/09

@Slumdog_Mamabear: From one oversharer to another, hugs to you.

It's so hard when you can't just "snap out of it" via a good movie or book and everybody else seems to be able to carry on. You are not alone in this. Just try to take the best care of yourself possible.
Reply

poires et poireaux was starred

Laines
02/13/09

@Slumdog_Mamabear: Postpartum depression is STILL depression. It probably will pass but please, don't simply wait in pain. Tell your doc or tell your baby's doc.

I breezed through my first kid, but my second? I have NEVER felt darkness such as that any other time in my life. I understand that 'middle of the room' feeling. You're not alone in that at all.
Reply

Laines was starred Laines was unstarred

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
02/13/09

@Slumdog_Mamabear: Love to you, and healing, and better days. Sincerely.
Reply

Slumdog_Mamabear
02/13/09

@Laines:

Thank you. I THOUGHT I had experienced depression until I had my first go round with PPD. I know what you mean about the darkness...I thought it was going to swallow me up. I have to remember that it didn't. I found my way that time and I will again this time.

I am already in touch with my psychiatrist. I have been since I had the baby. Things are a bit complicated since I had a number of health problems come up during and after the pregnancy that effect treatment.

The only thing I want right now is to be a good mom and wife. I know that is a strange thing to say on Jezebel. Of course I have other goals than that, but I want to be present for my family first.
Reply

Slumdog_Mamabear was starred Slumdog_Mamabear was unstarred

poires et poireaux
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Oh god, this post came at the right time. This is the week I decided to take my depression by its horns and do something about it.

I visited the doctor and have now been on Effexor for three days. I haven't noticed it working yet, but the side effects are making me less functional than before. I'll go from feeling like I drank 10 cups of coffee to feeling like I'm about to fall asleep in a matter of minutes. And the anxiety seems to have increased.

The thing is, I haven't told anybody I've started taking it. I've mentioned that I had been thinking about it for a long time, but now that I'm in a city where I hardly know anybody, I'm doing everything on my own now. And then there's the taboo - I'm so afraid to say that I've turned to chemical assistance. All my friends come from the natural-is-best way of thinking, and this decision is making me feel more isolated. And I'm feeling more depressed because now there's this label I've attached to myself.

I'm shopping for therapists too. I'm really looking forward to getting into a routine, but I'm so confused because there are so many different therapeutic approaches. Should I go deep into my past via psychodynamic psychotherapy, or is a more behavioral/cognitive approach more useful?

I guess this isn't exactly what this post is all about, but I feel so alone and confused now. I don't think watching movies is going to be the best thing for me. I think I need to start doing things, being productive.
Reply

poires et poireaux was starred

Slumdog_Mamabear
02/13/09

@unpossibles:

I could have written some of your post myself. I am on Effexor as well. I went off while I was pregnant and now I am back on. The jittery/anxious feeling went away for me. But it takes a couple weeks.

Remember that getting treatment for depression doesn't have to define you. Most of all it is your business and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.

Getting on a routine has worked for me before, even if work didn't require it. I often get a lack of motivation and severe isolation when I am depressed. I don't want to answer my phone, I don't want to shower, I don't want to do anything. So I had to literally write down everything I was going to do, shower, eat, grocery shop etc.

I am struggling something terrible with postpartum depression yet again. But I can tell you that it DOES get better. I know how it feels to not even remember what happy felt like. I am in that place now. I am trying to keep faith I can get back there.

I am also thinking I should take some of my own advice.
Reply

Slumdog_Mamabear was starred Slumdog_Mamabear was unstarred

CharlotteTrampling
02/13/09

@unpossibles: Oh dear I feel you. Those " natural is best you weak minded fool" types who " mean well " just don't get it. It's not that easy to "just do it" when your body doesn't make the chemicals everyone else's does. These people would never tell a cancer patient to skip chemo but they are fine with you walking around feeling awful all the time. ( F.D. I just went back on my meds too, but 5htp is not as taboo because you can buy it over the counter ( regular SSRIs turn me into a zombie), which is nuts because the stuff is potent).

Anyway, people are very uncomfortable talking about mental illness, which in turn makes you feel even more isolated and makes everything worse. Is there one friend, just one who would be sympathetic? Productivity is good too.

If you enjoy schadenfreude then bide your time, statistically one of those friends will come down with the clinicals too.
Reply

CharlotteTrampling was starred

Lizawithazee
02/13/09

@unpossibles: Unpossibles, remember natural is all well and good but happy and functioning is best!

Good luck to you, know you are doing the right thing by taking action, any action.

When I'm overwhelmed I often take heart when I'm able to accomplish something, anything, even if it seems insignificant. Especially if it involves focusing on something other than myself and all the things I "should" be doing, if that makes any sense.

Good for you for taking the first steps. We're rooting for you!
Reply

Lizawithazee was starred Lizawithazee was unstarred

poires et poireaux
02/13/09

@CharlotteTrampling: Actually, I ran into a girl I sort of know the other day as I was getting out of an initial consultation with a therapist. When she asked me what I was doing in the neighborhood, I figured she'd be somebody who'd understand, and I told her I was looking around for therapists. Just then, she recommended hers to me, and talked a bit about things she tried to treat her depression. I've invited her to go ice skating with me this week.
Reply

poires et poireaux was starred

poires et poireaux
02/13/09

@Lizawithazee: Thank you so much! I find even getting out of the house and taking a walk makes a big difference.
Reply

poires et poireaux was starred

sassy
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
My cat also helps a lot, now that I think of it. She's big, fat, and warm, and perhaps the world's greatest snuggler. She does like to block the TV for attention though.
Reply

sassy was starred sassy was unstarred

Fermina Daza
02/13/09

@sassy wants her own tenth Doctor: My cat has brought so much laughter into my home! I don't know what the hell I'd do without that silly thing.
Reply

Fermina Daza was starred Fermina Daza was unstarred

sassy
02/13/09

@Fermina Daza: I moved away for a year, and didn't bring her, and I don't know how I did it. I have 2 cats, one of which I raised from a kitten (the fat one) and one I got when he was about 3ish. How do people live without cats? Or pets I suppose, for the dog-inclined.
Reply

sassy was starred sassy was unstarred

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Oh, it needs to be said. It seems so many of us have our own black dogs, some of whom only visit, and some of whom stubbornly stick around and refuse to leave. I know even though we all have our own special brand of bad days, reading all of the comments here tells me that most of us share one commonality: These feelings have been had by all of us at one point or another, and we've all made our own paths out of the brambles. I'm glad we understand each other so well, especially considering the majority here don't even know eachothers' real names. That makes me understand how much we all have in common, even, obviously, with people we don't know in "real" life. It's comforting to know all this because sometimes we all feel really lonesome, even when we're not by ourselves, and now we all have proof that we're not the only ones.

Okay, my point. None of you are alone, even if it feels like it. Anyone currently in the depths of despair, I say to you: please have faith, because it will, eventually, get better. It will. Whatever gets you through your bad times, do it/read it/listen to it/watch it/eat it/sing/dance/cry/throw tantrums. Whatever helps. And know that as long as you have internet access, you have your awesome Jezefriends. And gravy and leg-hugs and fisting and so forth. Love to you all, and thanks, too. Yall have helped me through some shitty times, believe it.
Reply

A Small Turnip
02/13/09

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: "..we've all made our own paths out of the brambles."

Oh Aesop. I'm saving that whole post, because it is amongst the loveliest things I've ever had the privilege to read. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm reaching out across the stormy grey Atlantic to grab your hand and squeeze it tightly. You're so precious to me, do you know that? It's incredible how a stranger can mean so much.

But you do. You mean so much to this root vegetable. Thank god you exist.
Reply

A Small Turnip was starred A Small Turnip was unstarred

poires et poireaux
02/13/09

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: Thank you. I need to keep reminding myself that.
Reply

poires et poireaux was starred

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
02/13/09

@ASmallTurnip: I'm misty now, thanks. It really is amazing how tightly-knit a fambly we all are. You are one of the many here who've made me realize how great it is to have friends. You are also one of the raddest small root vegetables ever.

*Aside: I'm still working out the kinks in the clone-machine. Once it's fully operational, you'll be getting a very small package delivered to your door.

:)
Reply

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
02/13/09

@unpossibles: You're welcome, my dear.
Reply

Plum-Pie
02/13/09

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: This - a thousand times this!

I can't remember how I felt before Jez but I know it was worse.
Reply

Plum-Pie was starred Plum-Pie was unstarred

Plum-Pie
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
So odd that this came up today as I've just ordered 3 children's books from Amazon as brain candy for now and heart candy for the next time I'm feeling down.

Sometimes I need:

TV
Jeeves and Wooster
Miss Marple (with Joan Hickson)
Certain childrens cartoons

Reading
Mostly Old kids books - anything - YA, long Victorian childrens books (I'm thinking of treating myself to a boxset of Ramona)
I also love Kate Atkinson (she is soooo good at describing emotions, you can get lost in someone else's head rather than your own)

Food
Wholemeal pitta bread with butter and marmite
Anything cooked by my sister
Reply

Plum-Pie was starred Plum-Pie was unstarred

A Small Turnip
02/13/09

@Plum-Pie: If I didn't know it would inevitably descend into boozy stupor and hilarity, I'd suggest a London Jez book group, because you have THE MOST INCREDIBLE TASTE IN READING. Seriously, I have so much to learn from you. Please will you be my personal librarian? I'm in awe of your brain.

Also, I would really, really like to know your sister. She sounds like such a genuinely lovely human bean. Hell, if she's even a fraction as wonderful as you, she's a grand girl, to be sure.
Reply

A Small Turnip was starred A Small Turnip was unstarred

gherkinfiend
02/13/09

@ASmallTurnip: @Plum-Pie: A London Jez book group sounds like heaven. Drunken debating heaven...with baked goods.

Joy!
Reply

gherkinfiend was starred gherkinfiend was unstarred

Plum-Pie
02/13/09

@ASmallTurnip: My sister learnt to read about 10 minutes after starting school and taught me to read IMMEDIATELY. So yes, she is all kinds of awesome.
Reply

Plum-Pie was starred Plum-Pie was unstarred

Plum-Pie
02/13/09

@ASmallTurnip: I'm off to bed to listen to A Good Read on R4 now. G'night sweetcheeks.
Reply

Plum-Pie was starred Plum-Pie was unstarred

Janie Jones
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Also, like many of you, I listen to music. Sometimes something ambient like Air ("La femme d'argent" is a favorite), or old soul, funk and Motown, like Marvin Gaye, Martha and the Vandellas, Marlena Shaw's "California Soul", James Brown, Sly, Stevie Wonder, Funkadelic,etc., etc. Also, disco. Other random songs that cheer me up:

Operation Ivy - Sound System

Dr. John - Mama Roux

Devendra Banhart - Lover

Sleater-Kinney - Oh!

Almost anything by RuPaul.

Also I listen to comedy. Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Chris Rock and old Eddie Murphy always makes me laugh.
Reply

Janie Jones was starred Janie Jones was unstarred

angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
FRASIER. It makes me feel worlds better, at least while I'm watching.
Reply

Maulleigh
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Hmmmm, this makes me think.

I know I'm going to sound like a big freakazoid here, but when I was having a dark night of the soul, the only thing that truly comforted me was reading the New Testament of the bible. Something about it. Especially the Jesus bits.

For television, I'd have to say Family Guy or Black Adder.
Reply

Maulleigh was starred Maulleigh was unstarred

hellosunshine
02/13/09

@Maulleigh: The Bible helps me too. Maybe because it reminds me of being little and going to church, or happy college days at my Baptist university... I don't know.
Reply

hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

RobertaFisk
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Muder-mystery stuff. Poirot (books or tv show) or old-school Law and Order.
Reply

RobertaFisk was starred RobertaFisk was unstarred

chatterboxwriting
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
When I am upset, I tend to read books that make me cry, so it seems like I have an even better reason to cry my eyes out. Good examples: The Lovely Bones, My Sister's Keeper (or any Jodi Picoult book), and Summer Sisters. Whenever I read the last one, I bawl my eyes out when Victoria is crying about Caitlin. It gets me every time.
Reply

chatterboxwriting was starred

musie
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
Watching:

Gone with the Wind

Cruel Intentions

Buffy

Firefly

Doctor Who

Reading:

Mercedes Lackey books.

Anna Karenina.

Music:

The Smiths.

Cheesy old Italian music.
Reply

musie was starred musie was unstarred

Ipomoea
02/13/09

@musie: YAAAAAY Lackey and Firefly! The Arrows trilogy is comfort reading.
Reply

Ipomoea was starred Ipomoea was unstarred

hellosunshine
02/13/09

In reply to Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul
I don't know if it's because I'm an only child or just kinda odd, but when I've got the blues and have too many thoughts swirling around, I HAVE to be alone. I usually have spells like this every six months or so (more since I've lived in NY) and most of my friends and loved ones know that when I say "I need to be by myself for a couple of days, please only call me if it's an emergency," they get it. I silence my phone, turn off my computer and just putter around - when I'm really upset, even if it's at myself, I can't be around anyone else. Unfortunately, after four years, Boyfriend still doesn't get this; we live in a tiny studio and the fact that I haven't had a day to truly be alone in months is eating at me.

Oh, and Extraordinary Groups, "Love Actually" and Sigur Ros "Staralfur" are my comforts.
Reply

hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

hellosunshine
02/13/09

@tinycowboyhats is moving home to TX in April!: A really long drive helps too; I absolutely can't wait to have a car and feel really happy again.
Reply

hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#curealls

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Chicken Soup For The (Depressive) Soul

Oldies But Goodies

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment