news roundup

Beaver, Trollops and Drinking, Oh My!

• Not to in any way indicate that we have anything less than the utmost horror and offense for torture, but Lt. Col. Diane Beaver who once urged our armed forces to conduct more brutal interrogations at Gitmo, testified today before the Senate Armed Services Committee about her role in torturing various people. Even when the jokes aren't appropriate, we still have to make them. [Washington Independent]
• Really, it was the fault of this video, which you should not listen to at your office without earphones, that explores in great depth why the news media didn't cover the "John McCain called his wife a cunt" story. [Erica Saves the Day, Glamocracy]
• Also, studies show you're drinking more than you think you're drinking, so tip your bartender well! [LA Times]
• Oh, what you wanted real news? Fine. Check in with me after the jump.

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crappy hour

Did Hillary's Appearance On O'Reilly Actually Make Me Like Her More?

Fox is the only news channel that gets any audio on my cable box. This is something, like the interminable nature of this campaign, I generally regard as a negative. But yesterday I had a revelation. See, Hillary Clinton just went on Bill O'Reilly, and when they aren't rerunning clips of the really boring interview, the Fox News talking heads are creaming their pants over how well she's held up, what a "fighter" she is, etc. And it hit me: has Hillary Clinton's stubborn refusal to drop out maybe been good for America? All the phony, cynical and self-serving praise she's had heaped upon her pantsuited self from Rush and Ann and the Weekly Standard and the "Fair And Balanced" regime has started, ever so gradually, to convert into something genuine: respect. Anyway, The Indianapolis Star just endorsed Hillary, a Baptist minister got ushered out by Secret Service for asking John McCain if he really called his wife a "cunt", and Barack Obama drank shit beer at a VFW and the whole thing has lasted so long it's starting to feel like life itself, and Megan and I decided to look at it on the beer-glass half-full side today. More »

news roundup

You Know, Cindy, He Might Have Been More Tactful But John Sorta Has A Point About The Tranny Makeup

• John McCain called his wife a "cunt" sixteen years ago. The full quote, in response to Cindy's "playful" mention of his male pattern baldness, was: "At least I don't plaster on makeup like a trollop, you cunt." I have to give him bonus points for using the word "trollop" and also, calling her out on what looks to be an unhealthy relationship with Mary Kay, and by the same token I have to give Cindy bonus points for adopting a Bangladeshi child, weaning herself off painkillers and throwing all that addictive energy into applying nine coats of foundation. (And what can we say, Meghan: she comes by it honestly.) [Wonkette]
  
• Spike Lee is really glad he made Do The Right Thing, otherwise Barack Obama would have taken Michelle to see Soul Man and America's greatest union would have been jeopardized. Also: the "Clintons would lie on a stack of Bibles." [NY Mag]
  
• 61% of historians agree that Bush is the Worst President Ever, according to an unscientific History Network poll of 109 historians. And just how did he go about pulling that off? Well, he combined "the paranoia of Nixon, the ethics of Harding and the good sense of Herbert Hoover," in the words of one historian, and applied laserlike focus to doing "only two things well," explained one of the survey's "most distinguished" historians. "He knows how to make the very rich very much richer, and he has an amazing talent for f**king up everything else he even approaches." [History Network]

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clips

Badass, Self-Described Feminist Jane Fonda Drops The C-Word On Today

As many already know, actresses/activists Jane Fonda and Eve Ensler were welcomed onto the Today show this morning in honor of the 10th anniversary of Ensler's Vagina Monologues, the one-woman, pussy-positive show that has since become a staple of college campuses. And what a welcome they gave back! Ensler and Fonda, who sat down with Today host Meredith Vieira, discussed the epidemic of violence against women (Ensler calls it "femicide") both at home and abroad, most notably in the Congo, where the brutal torture and rape of women and young girls has become, for lack of a better term, de rigeur. But before she and Ensler got to the serious stuff, Fonda, 70, recounted just how she got involved with the Vagina Monologues and its related V-Day Foundation, dropping the word "cunt" in the process. Clip above.

Related: The V-Day Event Of The Decade [VDay]
Earlier: Why Is The Word Cunt Still Such A Big Deal?

I admit it: I have a filthy mouth. I drop F-bombs like they're nothing, and I make use of the word "cunt" pretty often, on a daily basis even. I think because I live in a fishbowl surrounded by other cussers, I sometimes forget that my foul language might actually, you know, offend people. This is particularly true with regards to the word "cunt." Some people think it's one of the dirtiest words in the English language—unspeakable, even. Maybe I'm a little looser with it because I lived in London for a bit, and over there, "cunt" is on the same level of offense ("offence"?) as, say, "asshole." Or maybe not even that extreme. More »