[Havana, November 12. Image via Getty]

Cuban singer and dancer Omara Portuondo smiles during an homage by the Union of artists and writers of Cuba (UNEAC), on November 12, 2009 in Havana. Portuondo, 79, who performed with The Buena Vista Social Club ensemble, won for best contemporary tropical album in the Latin Grammy Awards. AFP PHOTO/STR (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, November 4. Image via Getty]

TO GO WITH AFP STORY A Cuban woman waits with her ration book in hand to buy at a governmental food store in Havana on November 4, 2009. Since 1963, Cubans have been using a ration book system established by the Government for an egalitarian distribution of subsidized items, but lately — though at higher prices — many products are being sold freely. AFP PHOTO/ADALBERTO ROQUE (Photo credit should read ADALBERTO ROQUE/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, September 20. Image via Getty]

Cubans attend the 'Peace without Borders' concert, on September 20, 2009 at the Revolution Square in Havana. Over a million Cubans gathered in Havana Sunday for a concert including Miami-based singer Juanes, a gig welcomed by US President Barack Obama, but criticized by Cuban exiles. AFP PHOTO/ADALBERTO ROQUE (Photo credit should read ADALBERTO ROQUE/AFP/Getty Images)

[Madrid, September 8. Image via Getty]

Dancers of Cuba national ballet perform during the rehearsal of 'Swan Lake' in Madrid on September 8, 2009. AFP PHOTO/PIERRE-PHILIPPE MARCOU (Photo credit should read PIERRE-PHILIPPE MARCOU/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, September 7. Image via Getty]

A nun takes part in the procession of the Virgin of Regla (Orisha Yemaya, the sea goddess for the Yoruba religion and Saint Mary for the Catholics) in Havana during the Yemaya Day celebrations in Cuba, on September 7, 2009. AFP PHOTO/Adalberto Roque (Photo credit should read ADALBERTO ROQUE/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, September 1. Image via Getty]

A Cuban girl on the first day of class of the 2009-2010 course, on September 1, 2009, in Havana. AFP PHOTO/STR (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, August 26. Image via Getty]

Cuban National Ballet Director Alicia Alonso speaks during a press conference to announce the recent promotions in the company and details of the upcoming European tour, in Havana August 26, 2009. Alonso also expressed her willingness for the Cuban Ballet to perform in the United States. AFP PHOTO/STR (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, August 11. Image via Getty]

A girl helps to make a passacaglia with Cuban flags and pictures of Cuban leader Fidel Castro on August 11, 2009 in the Luyano neighbourhood in Havana. Fidel Castro, president for five decades before retiring in ill health, turns 83 on August 13. AFP PHOTO (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

[Guadalajara, August 9. Image via Getty]

A woman protests with a Cuban flag in front the US consulate in Guadalajara, Mexico on August 9, 2009, city where US President Barack Obama, Mexican President Felipe Calderon and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper are due to meet on August 9-10 in the summit of the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America (SPP). AFP PHOTO/Ronaldo Schemidt (Photo credit should read Ronaldo Schemidt/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, July 31. Images via Getty.]

• Jude Law got someone pregnant, but not Rachel McAdams' sister Kayleen — her rep (she's a makeup artist) says "She has never even met him." [Star]
• So. The mother of Jude Law's unborn spawn is:

Samantha Burke. She's an actress/model. Naturally. [TMZ]

• A source says that Samantha Burke wants Jude's cash! She expects "a large maintenance payment and financial costs, including a percentage of Jude's future earnings, agreed in writing." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Samantha Burke is from a wealthy family. Also, she looks good in a retro swimsuit. [Daily Mail]
• "Even Seth Rogen Now Hating on Katherine Heigl." He's talking shit about how she talks shit. And dissed The Ugly Truth: "That [movie] looks like it really puts women on a pedestal in a beautiful way." Plus: "I gotta say, it's not like we're the only people she said some batshit crazy things about. That's kind of her bag now." [NY Mag, LA Times]
• Carrie Prejean is planning to sue the Miss California USA organization for slander, libel, public disclosure of private facts, religious discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress. This should be a big old mess. [Perez]
• Need beach reading? Three celebs have "written" new memoirs: Slumdog Millionaire's Rubina Ali; former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson and Good Charlotte's Joel Madden. [NY Daily News]
• Haterade Headline of the Day: "Tony Romo and Nick Lachey rebound with Jessica Simpson look-a-likes while she's left smooching a dog." [NY Daily News]
• Police chiefs suspected of "snooping" at Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate's home have been arrested. [NY Post]
• Emma Watson is related to a 16th century witch! Her distant relative Joan Playle was excommunicated from the Church of England for witchcraft in 1592. [E!]
• Eminem's new track, "Warning," is an answer to Mariah Carey's song, "Obsessed." He raps: "You probably think since it's been so long if I had something on you I woulda did it by now, on the contrary, Mary Poppins, I'm mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud, enough dirt on you to murder you, this is what the fuck I do... Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Amy Winehouse's wedding album: Found in trash. Seems Blaaaaake threw his copy away. [The Sun]
• Nora Ephron says she hopes Julie & Julia will remind everyone that before EVOO, there was BUTTER, which has now been demonized. "I just do not get that at all," Ephron says, since Julia Child and her husband lived into their 90s. "And they drank like fish," she says. "I don't believe that anything has to do with what you eat, if you don't overeat. All these people who think they can cut down on their cholesterol by eating those awful egg-white omelets. There's something I really hate. It is simply not going to make any difference if you have a couple egg yolks in your omelet." [USA Today]
• Will Katie Holmes be in the Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? A source says: "The character they want her to play is a really ballsy, high-powered company executive who tangles with Samantha." Sometimes you sort of forget she's an actress, for Xenu's sake. [The Sun]
• Jeepin' jeewillickers! Even though Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar named each of their 18 children a name beginning with the letter J, their first grandchild (from son Josh) will be named Mackenzie. Whether Josh and his wife will have 18 kids with M names remains to be seen. [Star]
• So much sadness: This report claims that Michael Jackson may have had collapsed veins and needle marks all over his body — plus — he may have been dead as early as 8:30 a.m. — four hours before paramedics were called. [ET]
• Warrants filed yesterday allege that Michael Jackson was an addict. It's a violation if Dr. Conrad Murray was "prescribing to an addict." [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Michael Jackson autopsy report: Delayed. [TMZ]
• How will TLC balance Jon & Kate's popularity with the family's right for privacy? Network exec Eileen O'Neill says: "It's a sensitive situation and we navigate that as we go along… It's the family's decision to be involved in the show… We want to stay with them as long as they want to stay with us." [Variety]
• What you'll see when Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns: "Jon and Kate have never said they were perfect," Eileen O'Neill says. "You're still going to see two parents that love their kids, but you'll see them parenting separately." [People]
• This columnist asserts that the return of Jon & Kate will help Kate's image. [MSNBC Scoop]
• And, because no one is sick of these people: Jon Gosselin (and Michael Lohan??) brainstormed a new show: Divorced Dads Club. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's ex, Bar Refaeli, has a new man: multi-millionaire Teddy Sagi, who is among Israel's top 30 richest men. [NY Daily News]
• BREAKING: Katy Perry and Rihanna have become inseparable. [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez says the Saved By The Bell reunion was a long time coming: "Everybody knew the 20-year anniversary was coming up. This People story has been in the works for over a year, long before [late night host] Jimmy Fallon started talking about it. We were all excited about it." But what's next? "Everybody is fired up. People keep coming up to me saying 'When are you guys going to do a show?'" [People]
• Mark Paul Gosselaar says of Dustin "Screech" Diamond: That's a disaster on so many levels… I don't know where his head is. I know probably as much as you know from watching things on TV." Plus, Gosselaar says that when he played Zack on Fallon last month, there was a reason he looked young: "I read a blog [where] some guy said, 'Dude, lay off the Botox.' I've never had Botox before. The wig was so fucking tight, it gave me a mini face-lift." [Newsweek]
• Penelope Cruz looked amazing at the premiere of Broken Embraces, but the airline had lost her luggage. [People]
• Penny Cruz: "I love London... but I have difficulties with the rainy weather." [Telegraph]
• Lost spoilers! CHARLIE. [E!]
• Details of the sort-of Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm, at the link. [LA Times]
• Lawyers are getting involved in that Twilight recasting drama involving Rachelle Lefevre. [E!]
• Viva la revolucion? Benicio del Toro, Bill Murray, Robert Duvall and James Caan were in Cuba yesterday. [Reuters]
• Paul Giamatti calls some scenes from his new film, Cold Souls, "sort of awkward and painful." [WSJ]
• Billy Crudup will join the cast of Eat, Pray, Love the movie, which also stars Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem and Richard Jenkins. [Variety]
• "Bandslam's account of a teenager's awkward attempts to settle into a new school remind former Friends star Lisa Kudrow of her own adolescence." [Telegraph]
• "Singer Peter Andre has accepted "substantial" damages over a newspaper claim he was unfaithful to his estranged wife, model Katie Price." [BBC News]
• "I really felt this film, which had a love affair with boeuf bourguignon, should come out in winter." — Meryl Streep on Julie & Julia. [USA Today]
• "I heard what he had to say and I knew at this moment my life would never be the same. Life no longer seemed like a series of Random events. I also began to see that being Rich and Famous wasn't going to bring me lasting fulfillment and that it was not the end of the journey." — Madonna, on first hearing about Kabbalah when pregnant with Lourdes. [AP]
• "Phoebe was so spiritual and 'out there' — and I wasn't at all. Not. At. All. If anyone was it was Jennifer [Aniston]. She introduced me to certain books that gave me an insight into that world – Phoebe's supposed world – which was a more spiritual realm." — Lisa Kudrow. [Daily Express]
• "My mom and dad were big hippies and I spent time on communes. I just remember the smell of soybeans everywhere. People were making all sorts of strange things out of soybeans: food, clothing, paper, everything. I suppose if I'd gone to military school, maybe I'd be pining for something like Woodstock. But I'm certainly pining for what it represents, and I think that's what Ang was really after with the film." — Liev Schreiber, on Taking Woodstock. [Style.com]
• "I don't watch Jon & Kate, but I still want to punch that Jon douche in the face.his smarmy,fat alcoholic bloat&Ed Hardy wear piss me off" — Rose McGowan. [Twitter]
• "The Jay-Z controversy is great. We couldn't buy P.R. like this. I think Jay-Z said he saw Auto-Tune used in a Wendy's commercial, and that pushed him over the edge." — Marco Alpert, vice president of the company which markets Auto-Tune, on Jay-Z's latest single, "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)." [NY Times]
• "Fuck you Katy Perry, you fucking stupid, maybe 'not good for the gays,' title thieving, haven't heard much else, so not quite sure if you're talented, fucking little slut." — Jill Sobule. [The Rumpus]

[Havana, June 23. Image via Getty]

Cuban women buy tomatoes at a green market June 23, 2009 in Havana. The Cuban government has rationed the sales of grains and salt because of the economy crisis. AFP PHOTO/STR (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, June 9. Image via Getty]

A Cuban woman asks for food with her ration book at a government store of the kind known as 'Bodegas', June 9, 2009, in Havana. The international economic crisis is forcing the Cuban government to reduce the supply of food, public transport and electricity in all the country, according to government officials. AFP PHOTO/STR (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

• Barack Obama would like to sell you a new, fuel-efficient car with an underpriced voucher to save the auto industry. He'd prefer you buy American but probably can't make you. [Washington Post]

• He's also up in your federal lands, protecting your wilderness. The President doesn't speak LOLcat, though. [Washington Post]
• Which is likely why most people don't blame him for the shitty economy (yet). [Washington Post]
• He tried out his salesman skills on the Sudan by asking them to let aid workers back into Darfur. The Sudanese would prefer their citizens just die already, though. [NY Times]
• He is going to lift the travel ban on Cuba, New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez be damned, because sanctions still haven't worked in lo these 47 years. [Washington Post]
• Republican Congressman Paul Ryan admitted that the GOP's alternative budget tax cut plan would increase the deficit. At the sight of a Republican admitting that tax cuts would increase the deficit, the minions of hell started a snowball fight, lions lay down with lambs and monkeys flew out of my butt. [ThinkProgress]
• My butt monkeys set off for Utah, where on July 1st you'll be able to drink alcohol without a cover charge and a legal form. My butt monkeys like drinking, too, what can I say? [BBC]
• The minions of hell then proceeded to New York to help their boss's friend, Rush Limbaugh, pack up his apartment which he is totally, totally leaving because of the tax increases. [Huffington Post]
• After that, they're going to have to return to their jobs in college admissions offices, since their temps just openly admitted that even "need blind" colleges are only letting in rich kids because of the recession. Sorry suckers, hope you like public school since the only kids going Ivy this year are the ones whose parents can cough up tuition. [NY Times]
• Jim Webb is going to reform our entire criminal justice system single-handedly. There's no word if carrying your boss's gun to work will stay illegal. [Huffington Post]
• The Supreme Court decided that spam emails are Constitutional, proving that none of them had email accounts in the late nineties. [ZDNet]
• Obama's Navy Secretary nominee, Ray Mabus, will likely be confirmed despite his ugly divorce in which he taped a counseling session with his wife in which she threw her affair in his face and threatened to make their kids hate him. She now calls them "his children" since, apparently, they don't hate him. [Washington Post, NY Times]

Cuban players celebrate their win against Serbia in the women's volleyball quarterfinal match at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games on August 19, 2008 in Beijing. Cuba won 3-0. AFP PHOTO / KAZUHIRO NOGI (Photo credit should read KAZUHIRO NOGI/AFP/Getty Images)