crushes - Jezebel

posts about #crushes more →
"Live-Action Cannot Capture How Terrible She Really Is.”
Hate Crushes: A Love Story
Who's Your Girl Crush?
Dating Advice From 3rd Graders: The Girl's Guide
Anne Hathaway Is Flustered By Major Jon Stewart Crush
"Is Being A Deadbeat Dad An Automatic Dealbreaker?"

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bookling
11/02/09

In reply to "Live-Action Cannot Capture How Terrible She Really Is.”
I fucking love Eloise. Not only does it make a RAWTHER awesome read-aloud book, but it's all about imagination! Yeah, Eloise is a brat (poor Nanny), but I loved the way she made up marvelous adventures when she was pretty much alone. Plus, I loved Skipper Dee and Weenie, and totally wanted a pet turtle. #hilaryknight
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Heydiddler: Sabbath Lily Hawks
11/03/09

@bookling: The best part about Eloise is how there is really no need for punctuation because everything is to be read at the pace of a very self-assertive 6 year old which is really why it is the best read-aloud book of all time especially for people who aren't smokers like me and don't get short of breath when reading the amazingly hilarious elevator excerpt which is mostly due to the fact that it is so difficult to stop laughing and most especially when it is time to braid Skipperdee's ears in the morning so he doesn't get cross

My mom used to read this book aloud to me - it is truly a performance. #hilaryknight
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sympathyforthebasementcat
11/02/09

In reply to "Live-Action Cannot Capture How Terrible She Really Is.”
Eloise is larger than life, but I think the live-action movie did a good job. Sofia Vassilieva was precocious to maximum annoyingness and maximum cuteness. And hello, Jeffery Tambor and the one and only Julie Andrews? I liked it. #hilaryknight
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Kivrin
11/02/09

In reply to "Live-Action Cannot Capture How Terrible She Really Is.”
I am ashamed to say that I have never read the Eloise books. I blame my parents, who probably kept me away from books about a naughty child who was disrespectful to adults. Or maybe I just missed 'em somehow, who knows. Anyway, I know what I want for Christmas! #hilaryknight
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bklyn155
11/02/09

@Kivrin: I haven't either! But I have read another illustrated by Knight, called That Makes Me Mad! and it is fantastic. One of my fav books as a kid, I always wanted to be able to draw like that. Still trying, still not there yet :0) #hilaryknight
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Fatwetdog
11/02/09

@Kivrin: Me neither! But my mom read me "Little Miss Bossy" every day. (I suspect I was not supposed to idolize her, but I did.) #hilaryknight
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GoodBadNotEvil
11/02/09

@Kivrin: I never read them either and I was a voracious reader as a little kid, I read literally anything I could get my hands on. I'm thinking I've missed out terribly! #hilaryknight
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rodmanstreet
11/02/09

In reply to "Live-Action Cannot Capture How Terrible She Really Is.”
(nerd alert)

I feel compelled to be the trivia geek who says, "You know, Eloise was (allegedly) based on Liza Minnelli as a child!"

Okay, go ahead, throw the off-topic tomatoes at me. #hilaryknight
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sympathyforthebasementcat
11/02/09

@rodmanstreet: Liza is never off topic.

Perhaps, she should be Eloize with a Z. #hilaryknight
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meritxell: an erotic life
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
Ugh, I think I lived with the people described above. They moved in shortly after my (rad as fuck) roommates moved out. They shared their weed, so at first I was prepared to like them, but they were the most aggressive stoners I have EVER met, and would yell at me because I expressed skepticism that fluoride was government mind control and 9/11 was an inside job. Oh, and they didn't vote because they preferred to change the world via their bongo circle, man, releasing shitty music vibes into the universe.

Somehow they really pushed my buttons because I think we actually wanted the same things, but they refused to apply logic to anything and were so loaded up with self-righteousness that they couldn't see how irrelevant they were to the powers-that-be.
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ab33
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
I have to admit it to SOMEONE- I have a hatecrush on one of my roommates. It's bad. I have to freaking live with her. And I really know that I should break myself out of this, but she is so full of herself and she never washes her dishes and she leaves soup cans everywhere and I can't help it!
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vulcanized
09/22/09

@ab33: I hatecrushed a roommate once. It was really frustrating. Once I took the kitchen scissors into my room and forgot about them. It really bugged her that they were missing, so when I rediscovered them in my room, I kept them another couple of weeks just to piss her off. I swear she was doing stuff like that just to piss me off, too, though I am known to be paranoid. I imagine we were both a lot better off when we stopped being roommates.
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rhymeswithfeather
09/22/09

@ab33: I'm moving out in 8 days (and counting -- thank the sweet dear lord) but I have a hate-crush on my roommate. I think it's pretty obvious she has one on me, too, as she and her boyfriend (who has lived here rent-free since March, don't get me started) went through my stuff, took it out of "their" cupboards, closets, etc, packed what they could and dumped the rest of it on the floor in the living room. Things are tense, to say the least.
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spikenard
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
By the way I knew that Sadie had written this before I checked the name, because it was great.
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spikenard
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
I must admit that I have 3 intense hate crushes: one on a white guy who thinks he's black, changed his name to a Muslim one, and talks about being the 'other' although he went to Eton and his dad is the CEO of a major financial company; this terrible racist misogynistic idiot I know who thinks he is a 'writer' though he's never even read a book and all his terribly written stories are the same (he basically date rapes, in the 'she didn't like being slapped but then it turned her on' way, a tattooed librarian in each of them); and Larry Sinclair, that guy who claimed he had a homosexual moment with Obama, for his sheer stupidity and his band of equally awful followers.

I don't know which of my insecurities I am projecting onto these people (phoniness? the fact that they have the delusional confidence to present the world with their awfulness while I am extremely cautious about any talent or interest I may hope to have?) I just really don't like them, yet I am obsessed by how awful they are. I check their blogs/Facebook pages every day to see what awful thing they've come up with next and my best friend and I perversely enjoy how grotesque it all is. Sometimes I do feel that I'm spending way too much of my own energy on this, when these people are barely conscious of me. I know it must stop, but it's so fun, I'd almost miss them if they were gone.
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Atomic Bowling
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
I think my most memorable hate-crush was this guy who lived in my dorm my freshman year of college. I have no idea what his name was (Ben? Brian? Brandon?), just that in my head he was "The Bear Guy" due to his physical appearance and this bizarre fur coat he used to wear. Although we were never friends he used to hang out a lot with some of my friends who were in the same program as he was. He got on my nerves from the very first moment due to his obvious self-satisfaction and arrogant behavior toward the many hipster-style females who often swarmed him.

The moment he turned to hate-crush status, however, was the first moment he actually acknowledged my existence. Naturally, he said he was sure we'd never met, although it must have been at least the tenth time. We were walking down the street in a group, and for some unknown reason he thought it would be a great idea to walk with his arm around me even though we didn't really know each other at all. I'm sure I was giving off waves of awkward discomfort, because a) I don't really like being touched by relative strangers and b) I kind of already hated him. He then declared "You're not a happy person, are you!" loudly such that everyone could hear it, but STILL didn't release his hold on me. I spent weeks fuming about how "The Bear Guy" was such a tool, and who the hell did he think he was!

For the next three years every time we crossed paths he would again claim we'd never met, but he always had this look in his eyes that said otherwise ("oh, you're that crabby b****..."), and I would proceed to being fuming again about how much I hated him for being SO arrogant and jerky and self-absorbed, all the while being secretly fascinated with his asshole-ish behavior. Our mutual friends told me later that it wasn't personal, he just liked making comments that threw people off. That kind of made me almost hate him more. If only I knew his name... (Does this mean I still have a hate-crush on him???)
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vulcanized
09/22/09

@Atomic Bowling: Unwanted touching and strangers suggesting you ought to be happy are two of the absolute worst. When people try to bait me into smiling, I have nothing but fury. Saying, "Come on, just give me a smile!" doesn't make me want to smile. It makes me want to knee you in the testicles. I'm not 5; You're not a photographer at Kiddie Kandids.
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
Facebook is the ultimate hate-crush vehicle, I think. That asshat from your high school class lists "I don't read!" under "Favorite Books"? A cringe-worthy status update from that pretentious bitch? HA! Now you don't even have to live in that same state as somebody to deeply relish how much you hate somebody.
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Tee for Ten
09/22/09

@Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.: Or, even worse, when they Facebook-snub you by either defriending you or ignoring your friend request. It's all "OH...I'm not good enough to be part of your little world, am I?"

Ick...
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laurasaurus
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
All hipsters. I automatically assume they're ironically listening to bad music and talking about how subversive they are but also bought their shabby looking plaid flannel at Urban Outfitters for $80. It's a reflex. I can't help it.
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vulcanized
09/22/09

@laurasaurus: I usually have no problem with hipsters, but the other night I was at a club and they were five deep at the bar trying to order overpriced 24 oz cans of PBR. Something was wrong. Also, I don't appreciate being hassled for riding a 21 speed rather than a fixed gear when I live on top of a giant hill. I'm not a bike messenger; I'm just some fatass that likes being outside occasionaly. Take your Urban Outfitters scarves and American Apparel deep v tees and your ironic mustache tattoos and your bands that I've "probably never heard of" (Even though they were on Austin City Limits two weeks ago) and shove 'em. Well, leave some of the bands. But you don't get to talk about how Drive By Truckers "totally changed my life, man" anymore. Your music privileges have been revoked.

Though it does remind me of a decent joke:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.
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laurasaurus
09/22/09

@vulcanized: Your joke made me LOL. That's great.
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laurasaurus
09/22/09

@laurasaurus: OH I totally forgot the worst part. For me, the worst worst part is that they're like the cool kids of the uncool kids. It's like, if you're a loser then you can't think you're better than the rest of the losers. No. It doesn't work like that. You are just as uncool as the rest of us.
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Tee for Ten
09/22/09

@vulcanized: "ironic mustache tattoos"

Damn...I think you just made my night. LOL!
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ZemarSea Urchin
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
It sounds more like you were left out, your ego was bruised, and you wanted to be let in the very group that was blocking you out. That is not a standard crush of any variation. You just don't like being ignored and glossed over. These people were probably to self abosorbed to notice they were ignoring you. A hate crush would, to me, imply having a desire for someone unseemly or that you dislike. I hope this doesn't sound judgemental I don't mean it that way.
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Princess Leela
09/22/09

@ZemarSea Urchin: You're missing the point, even though it is right there in your comment: This indeed isn't a standard crush. ("Crush" doesn't always have to be romantic, for starters.) What Sadie is describing here is a combination of feeling in some way left out, and rejecting that from which you are being left out. Being half repelled and half fascinated.
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Edited by Princess Leela at 09/22/09 3:17 PM Princess Leela was starred Princess Leela was unstarred

ZemarSea Urchin
09/22/09

@Princess Leela: Okay. But I always think of a crush as romantic thing or a physical desire. Obsessing about someone (or group) because they won't be your friend or be nice to you just strikes me as more needy than crushing.
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Princess Leela
09/22/09

@ZemarSea Urchin: I think it's been pretty well established by various writers on this site (and elsewhere) that "crush" means more than romance to a lot of people. We have the girl crush and now we have the hate crush. And yes, Sadie already addressed the bit about the neediness when she noted that the hate crush is not about the object itself, but about the crush-er projecting his/her own insecurities onto the crush-ee.
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ZemarSea Urchin
09/23/09

@Princess Leela: Point taken. I will now cease being anal and clinging to my own little definition of a crush. Okay, I'll be honest I am still going to cling to it because I am also stubborn like an ox but I will allow that I am wrong and not contest other people's use of the term hate crush (especially since I didn't make it up anyway).
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crotchety
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
How about when someone has a hate crush on you? It's over now but there was a guy who made a lot of assumptions about who I was without bothering to notice whether or not they were accurate, and every assumption he made about me was negative. I think he needed to hate me.

Negative energy is still energy.
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judgingamy
09/22/09

@crotchety: I recently learned a girl I've never spoken a word to has told a million people that i verbally attacked her. i had no idea she even knew my name. Now when I go to parties, people shudder when I introduce myself.

People are crazy.
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meritxell: an erotic life
09/22/09

@judgingnora: Maybe you did something to her in her dreams last night:
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Helio
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
Wow, i've had an ungodly amount of hatecrushes in my life. The most fervent were during my HS theater days, stemming from the resentment of someones saying I was "really good" at building sets (uh, thanks) and seeing that all-together annoying and untalented girl get all the parts. UHG!

Sometimes I feel bad, cause then not only do i talk about them, but I talk shit about them and then my hatecrush wears off on other people.

Have you other Hatecrushers ever have a crush that actually kind of liked you, and wanted to be your friend? Maybe that's something different....
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Princess Leela
09/22/09

@Helio: I think we art kids/band geeks probably had more than our fair share, didn't we? The artistic temperament + the competition over who had the most talent + the natural sense of drama = fertile ground for the hate crush.
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cuteasabutton
09/22/09

In reply to Hate Crushes: A Love Story
I have a hate crush on The Daily Mail. I can't bear it yet I have to torture myself by reading it everyday. Grrrrr.
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