Jezebel: cream pies

"Do You Have Any Vibrator Recommendations?"

Tracie — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:20:00 EDT

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, the Big Edie to my Little Edie, Rich, helps me answer questions about anal, vaginal, and oral sex. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)

P.S. We like pictures because they're easier than reading, so feel free to send some our way.

"How Do I Convince A Guy To Have Period Sex?"

Tracie — Fri, 23 May 2008 16:20:00 EDT

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, my friend till the end, Rich, helps me dole out advice on stuff like lactating, cream pies, and male virgins. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)

P.S. No animals were drugged in the making of this video.

Earlier: Dr. Ruth Personally Advises Us On Period Sex

I Ask Dudes To Cum On My Ass On The First Date

Slut Machine — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:00:00 EST

Well, I don't really ask dudes to get cum so close to my baby maker on the first date, but definitely eventually, if we keep banging, I'll request a superficial anal cream pie. Confused by the term? I didn't know what it meant either, until I opened myself up to pornography. The first time I heard about cream pies I was like, "Oh God, that's so gross! And filthy. And dirty. And hot!" So yesterday, when Moe complained that porn ruined sex by making dudes want to do cum-drenched dirty things, I thought, "Wait, it's not just the dudes!" 'Cause isn't the best sex dirty sex? (Well, unless you're one of those jerks who "makes love" and gazes into your partner's eyes and kiss each other softly on the face.)

But really, the nastier, and uninhibited the better. Sometimes performing a specific act — like say, getting tit fucked — is satisfying, not because it necessarily feels better than other stuff, but because it's so dirty that it's a turn on. Of course, if you're not into that sort of thing, then that's totally cool. Just don't fuck dudes who are. Frankly, if you're having sex in a manner that makes you uncomfortable, you're either a retard or a rape victim.

Sex is such a mental thing for women, that porno can really help one determine the parameters of what's vanilla, so that you can step the fuck out of the box and be adventurous. Porn has definitely not only given me new ideas, but also the confidence to try out the lewd ones I'd already dreamed up during Magic Wand sessions.

And it's not just men and sicko perverts like me who make use of the vast world of carnal knowledge that the adult entertainment industry has to offer. Have you picked up an issue of O magazine lately? Oprah has her sex columnist (and Sex And The City writer) Cindy Chupack and other writers discuss porno and make dirty movie recommendations practically on the regular.

You know, it's not like porn taught me how to have sex. But it did teach me to have better sex than I'd been having, if only because it opened up my world to all the smutty, nasty shit I love so much. So I just want to say, thanks, porno. If it weren't for you, then dudes probably wouldn't know that it's totally cool for them to ask me to sit on their faces while they do what needs to get done.

Earlier: How About You Don't Ask To Come On My Face On The First Date?
Related: Study: Young adults now find porn more acceptable [USA Today]