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When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice

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BetteD
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
um, sorry but I have to do this...

they're=they are. (runs and covers head)
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hortense
05/02/09

@BetteD: Ugh, yeah. Those lyrics were cut and pasted and I missed that. I'll fix it.
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so much honey
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
"Stand by Your Man", anyone?

"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman
Givin' all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times, and he'll have good times
Doin' things that you don't understand

But if you love him, then you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him, oh, be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And somethin' warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep givin' all the love you can
Stand by your man"
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
05/02/09

@so much honey: Don't even start. Most country lyrics for girls - with notable Parton, McEntyre, and Messina exceptions every time the industry decides to show how "progressive" and "with it" they are - are master classes in misogynist enabling.
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Adah
05/02/09

@so much honey: This song gets a pass because of Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi's rendition in The Blues Brothers.
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Jack_Burton
05/02/09

@Adah: Especially 'cuz they did the pantomime along with it...
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Maulleigh
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
LOL!! I've been talking back to song lyrics for years! One day, my friend and I were listening to old school blues and the singer was going on and on about how hellish his life was.

I said, "Well, maybe you could take a night class." And my friend never stopped laughing about it!
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blatantlybourgeois
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
I have a CD of Frank Sinatra songs, and some of them make me so mad I just have to skip over them.

My Funny Valentine:

Your looks are laughable

Unphotographable

Yet youre my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek

Is your mouth a little weak

When you open it to speak

Are you smart?

Yeah, b/c a weak mouth and smart wit are some of the worse attributes to have. *rolls eyes* This lady is so lucky he deigns to grace her with his affections b/c...

(From I've Got A Crush On You)

How glad the many millions of Annabelles and Lillians

Would be to capture me

But you had such persistence, you wore down my resistance

I fell and it was swell

I'm your big and brave and handsome Romeo

How I won you I shall never never know

Its not that you're attractive...

This guy is the master of the not so backhanded insult.
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nora charles
05/02/09

@blatantlybourgeois: Can't blame those on Frankie--they were both the work of George and Ira Gershwin. "You're not that hot but I'd still hit it" was a popular theme for them.
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Adah
05/02/09

@nora charles: Women sing those songs too. Is "My Funny Valentine" okay when Judy Garland sings it?
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Jack_Burton
05/02/09

@blatantlybourgeois: Yeah, when he wasn't singin' 'bout silly dames, he was waxing poetic about killin' and stealin'. Frank's OG.

Always weirded me out that people though he was such a saint.

When I was 21....
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Lisabel (ne: Dagnabbit)
05/03/09

@Adah: Exactly. I think we're reading too much into the Sinatra versions, which again he didn't write. Ella, Sarah, the aformentioned Judy all flip the opening "prologue" bits to fit their gender. Also, I *think* these now jazz standards were originally for Broadway shows, so this is a character singing from a specific perspective, not Frank being a sexist drunk bastard.

Also, I blatantly love both these songs, so I'm getting defensive.
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tomatoheart
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
Worst "love making" lyrics -- by Color Me Badd (I'm gonna sex you up)

Let's take off all our clothes

Disconnect the phone so nobody knows

Let me light a candle so we can make it better

Makin love until we drown

WHAT! What are you drowning it???

Girl you make me feel so good

We can do it til we both wake up

WHY are you sleep-fucking????
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GalleryGirl
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
Under My Thumb, the Rolling Stones
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
05/02/09

@GalleryGirl: Ooh, that is the absolute WORST. I hate that song. The lyrics to Brown Sugar are pretty offensive as well.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
05/02/09

@GalleryGirl: Being a feminist Stones fan is a Faustian identity conflict.
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lyss152
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
this post is not in the right place but it's a reply to the person who talked about Gwen's song. UHHH...dont think Gavin knew about his "lovechild". I wish everybody would stop making it out to be that he abandoned her.
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DexterHaven
05/02/09

@lyss152: I don't think anyone's saying she knew that at the time, more that subsequent events render the song lyric rather ironic now. [www.usmagazine.com]
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Jenavira
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
In a reminder of good lyrics and a great cover Its My Life done by No Doubt

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Cesybabe or Nirvanah Crane
05/02/09

@Jenavira: This song, and its video are in my top ten ever.
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pippi bongstocking
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
I hate, and I mean HATE--hate to the point that I have to listen to it every time it comes on so that I can hate it in exacting detail--"Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. It's about a man sneaking into the other room to speak comfortingly and lovingly to his ex.girlfriend while his new girlfriend is asleep. It goes, roughly, like so...

Honey, why you calling me so late

it's kinda hard to talk right now

Honey why you crying is everything ok

I gotta whisper cuz I can't be too loud

My girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really hard to hear your voice

saying my name, it sounds so sweet

coming from the lips of an angel

hearing those words it makes me weak

Why, exactly, aren't the two of them just back together then? Oh, right, b/c then there's no room for all your torturous, over-dramatic deceptive bullshit then, is there?
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
05/02/09

@methadont: A friend from high school says she likes this song because she pictures her ex thinking it about her. I try not to have too much contact with either of them, they have the most annoying, energy draining relationship I have ever seen. I want them to get back together and then move off to an island far away.

Did I say "friend"? It appears I meant "frenemy."
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boxspelunker
05/02/09

@methadont: At one point, a friend casually mentioned the name of this song and was like... sometimes, I think it's about us.

NO FRIEND NO IT IS NOT. WE ARE NOT AN ITEM WE NEVER WILL BE GO AWAY.

Also, I never called you crying.
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Definer-not-defined
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
After listening to it fifty times while working at Macy's during the Christmas season, "Baby It's Cold Outside" struck me as a slightly creepy song...

She's trying to leave, and he's trying to keep her there to get in her pants. He eventually succeeds after more to drink and the assurance that she's not gonna be able to get a cab.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
05/02/09

@Definer-not-defined: I just read the lyrics.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
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Ramseylicious
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
Aaaah, thank you so much for this! I didn't even read the entire post yet, but saw Carrie Underwood and had to comment. That song gets me fucking ragey! Mostly because most girls don't actually DO that, especially girls like Carrie Underwood. No, no, Carrie. What you would do is scream and cry to your girlfriends and talk about what a bastard he is and how you never want to speak to him again and the your girlfriends will say, "Uh, huh, we never liked that piece of shit anyways." Cut to two weeks later, you are back with said bastard.

Ragey.
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morethanrain
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
It makes me sad when I hear Martha Wainwright sing, "I have no children/ I have no husband/ I have no reason to be alive/ Oh give me one."

I know it's a very personal song, but I still want to yell, "Martha! You're so fabulous! You don't need that stuff!!" Of course, she's got the husband now and seems really happy, so good for her.
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bangers
05/02/09

@morethanrain: but ALL of Martha Wainwright's lyrics are about how much she fucking hates everyone in her life and how she half-assedly copes with it.
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boxspelunker
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
OH JEEZ.

HEY AQUALUNG

Sitting on a park bench --

eyeing little girls with bad intent.

Snot running down his nose --

greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.

Hey, aqualung

Drying in the cold sun --

Watching as the frilly panties run.

Hey, aqualung

Feeling like a dead duck --

spitting out pieces of his broken luck.

Oh/Hey, aqualung

Sun streaking cold --

an old man wandering lonely.

Taking time

the only way he knows.

Leg hurting bad,

as he bends to pick a dog end

he goes down to the bog

and warms his feet.

Pedophilia?
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apricotsquish
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
I have no idea who sings it or what the song is called, but I was at the gym the other day and I swear I heard the lyrics "do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

I really love it when we tell young women to stop talking and start dancing. Because nothing they have to say is important.
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The HZA.
05/02/09

@apricotsquish: It's by a band called 3 Oh 3. I forget the name of the song.
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
05/02/09

@apricotsquish: Yes! I was thinking of that one too! The first part is "Shush girl! Shut your lips!" Then, "do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."
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jackandginger
05/02/09

In reply to When Singing Girlfriends Give Terrible Advice
The Crystals- He Hit Me and It Felt Like a Kiss

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

He hit me but it didn't hurt me

He couldn't stand to hear me say

That I'd been with someone new

And when I told him I had been untrue

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

He hit me and I knew he loved me

If he didn't care for me,

I could have never made him mad

But he hit me and I was glad

Carole King wrote the song, but Phil Spector produced it...makes sense, right?

Worst Lyric Ever

Thank You India
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CandyColoredFrown
05/02/09

@jackandginger: Courtney Love and Hole did a pretty spectacular cover of "He Hit Me" though.
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bangers
05/02/09

@CandyColoredFrown: Grizzly Bear does a nuts cover of the song too.
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