Jezebel: crayons

The President Would Doubtless Approve!

Sadie — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:40:00 EDT

Herewith, a dialectical and materialist Marxist critique of the Crayola crayon factory. But how can anything with that many colors be alienated from nature? [Boing-Boing]

You Call $1 A Week A "Living" Allowance, Barry Obama?

Moe — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Suspicious news out today: Malia and Sasha Obama get weekly allowances of: ONE DOLLAR A WEEK. Now, I understand that those two don't exactly have to worry about filling up the Dodge Ram in times like this, but seriously, a dollar? About the best thing one dollar will get you these days is four chicken McNuggets. (Or wait, two cigarettes.) Even I recall getting three dollars, I think, although I don't remember because I am fucking old, but anyway, presupposing that in today's dollars that is $5.78. Of course, slut dolls and handheld electronic toys were probably made in countries with higher living standards than Laos in those days, but that is more than offset by the fact that Crayola crayons are not only still manufactured in Pennsylvania, rising commodity prices have sent the price of a 24-crayon box soaring to $4.95. That's 35 made beds.

Okay, seriously, I have no idea whether commodity prices have anything to do with crayon prices. Binney & Smith, which is now called Crayola LLC, makes crayons mostly from wax, which I guess is made from oil, but really, the point is, most people are probably not mature enough to spend money wisely (ahem, Dick Cheney) and the Obamas know this, and kids probably don't even need allowances now that Babysitters Club books are no longer being released. And from the looks of Malia and Sasha's outfits, they are probably best letting their mom make their purchasing decisions for the next few years. So suck it, Cato Institution.

Obama Daughters Keep Hectic Schedules Of Their Own [AP]

Related: Inflation Calculator [Bureau of Labor Statistics]

Calling Britney 'Crazy': A Way To Keep Our Jobs? Or Lose Them? So Confused

Jennifer — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 19:05:22 EDT

Apparently posting up photos of Britney Spears and labeling her "crazy" is illegal. Does this mean we're part of some sort of underground economy? [E!]
In today's installment of what happens when we read too quickly, we thought this said, "Robot explores giant crayon." [BBC]
Bush's budget director Rob Portman, the only member of the administration who could actually define the word "budget," resigned for "personal reasons." [CNN]
Imagine a future without consensual sex...[Daily Mail]
Per the Vatican, thou shalt not cut off another driver, flick him off, and scream, "I hope you die, motherfucker!" [CNN]
The Rubik's cube gets a "facelift." [ABC News]
Fire in South Carolina the deadliest for firefighters since September 11. [Guardian]
6 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]