AMEN.

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In a better world, we would be able to talk about these things. When my now-husband and I put on a lot of what I call happy fat -- you know, you're falling in love and not moving more than three feet from the bed, unless it's to get special foods with which to treat each other, and then get back into bed -- we each wound up a lot rounder than we wanted to be. We both dieted -- my one and only diet in my entire life -- because well, happy fat is fun to achieve, but not always fun to carry around. And yet, I don't even like to mention that I EVER went on a diet, that I EVER restricted calories, etc, etc, because it feels to me like in so doing, I'm supporting our fucked up way of looking at womens bodies.

But surely, if the world were a wiser place, it wouldn't be that loaded, right? Surely a person could just describe it, as an un-value-loaded story from one's past, while she tucked into a slice of chocolate cake? I hate that we're like this.

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also i thought it was pretty common knowledge around here that a lot of readers have struggled with/do struggle with eating disorders and issues and it's kind of a straight up dick move to talk triggers in the comments.

good thing i had already ran and gotten some veggie pizza by the slice for my lunch. eating cheese and loving it, SO SUCK IT diets!

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The defense here seems to be "but it was a post about calorie intake, that's why we are discussing/stating ours!" I didn't think that was the point of the post at all, but I suppose the way one reads articles like this is relative, yes?

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I had a problem with the fact that awinoforever seemed to be agreeing with Eleanor's excellent comment yet felt the need to make sure we knew exactly what she was personally doing with her calories in and out while simultaneously criticizing other commenters for making similar comments. It seemed hypocritical to me and her language choice was unfortunate. However, I do agree with her overall opinion and I was perhaps being oversensitive; we all need to share personal details in order to communicate, and she didn't resort to numbers, at least.

I don't think anyone is being "bashed" here; what people requested is that this post not devolve into a numbers-off because that's not what this article is about. What we should/ could be discussing is whether self-enforced temporary starvation is dangerous for us or not, and if it is why, and whether it's a reasonable tool for women to use, and why we feel like we need weight loss tools in the first place. But instead it became about how many calories are the "right" amount and what is the "right" way to exercise, both of which are completely unnecessary to the discussion as well as largely subjective.

This site is not about trading tips on exercise or needlepoint or car repair or cooking- there are a million of those already out there- but rather a space where we can talk about our culture and how it affects and is affected by women.

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What kind of discussion do you think is appropriate for this post?

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I honestly never even heard of the term "triggering" until I started to read Jezebel. I'm glad to have become more aware of it so I can be more sensitive (both online and in real life), but there's also a point where discussion stops being productive, and the threads risk becoming a giant echo chamber. There are certain post topics that I often don't bother to read anymore, because I can pretty much guess what the post will (loosely) say, and how the flow of the comments will go.

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