Jezebel: crap email from a crazy

"Scarlett Johansson Is Actually A Clone"

Dodai — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:40:00 EST

Perhaps if she were not so stunningly beautiful, we could dismiss this email, which arrived via the tips line this morning. But she is, and so we cannot ignore this urgent missive. Because: What if Scarlett Johansson actually is a clone? Breaking news via loony email, after the jump.

Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett G—-- last name, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I'll tell you more,those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut K—- home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut K—- clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ''actress'' career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett's family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!
Her close friend S—- G.

P.S.
CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION. H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more. These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.

Crap Email From A Crazy

dodai — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:20:00 EST

The good news is that we actually read the e-mails you guys send in. The bad news? Sometimes we receive messages so twisted, angry and incoherent that they boggle the mind. But! Silver lining! Sometimes they're also unintentionally hilarious. Join us in a hearty chuckle, after the jump. Bonus points if you can figure out what this woman is upset about.

Found your website while extremely bored, and the first question that comes to mind is "Are you serious about this piece of crap site"?
Talk about a bunch of frustrated, sexually ambigious confused feminists...although I did get a good laugh at some of the posts. I won't be back of course, but I just wanted to take the time to let you know the disdain that I look upon what your type has done to women everywhere. We are NOT all a bunch of whining, man hating, Hillary sucking feminist windbags. Thank God I have a husband and family, because obviously the alternative is what I find here...and, The View is for retards and mental midgets...Whoopie Goldberg, are you fckng kidding me????

Eh, we've probably dodged a bullet with this one.

Earlier: "Its Easy To See You Dont Have What It Takes To Cut It"

"Its Easy To See You Dont Have What It Takes To Cut It"

dodai — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:40:00 EST

This afternoon we received an email from a person who was all riled up, we think, over Missdemeanors, and maybe some other stuff? Women in general? Lesbians? Small penises? In any case, this person accused us of "stepping on [her?] first amendment rigths[sic] a little" adding that we're "jealous" of a certain gossip site. We refuse to name the site out of, well, spite (and to keep it from getting any more attention that we've already given it) but of course we're sharing the email! After the jump, take a trip to Crazytown... and have fun wading through the abysmal spelling and poor syntax.

since i cant comment i just wanted to tell you how fucked up i think it is that you put all this shit out there attacking [redacted] from [redacted] and will not allow any person who has opinions on the subject different from yours to comment.

im pretty sure its stepping on my first ammendment rigths a little, and i know its not fair, but above all, i think its all a ply at publicity for you because you envy [blogger's] writing style so you figure the more you write about [redacted] and the more you quote [blogger's] genius posts, the more attention yoru lousy ass site will get.

it kinda worked cause i ended up there, for like one of the lamest moments of my life. but after two seconds its easy to see you dont have what it takes to cut it.

You are not [redacted] from [redacted], and that kinda gets your panties all wadded up in a bunch doesnt it?

so you talk shit, block [blogger's] millions of fans from commenting and in your head you won your little misguided hatred fueled war.

well, just so you know, i know the truth you bitches

i know you fear true competition and therefore edit your comments like crazy

what i dont know is how you got so many fucking bull dykes with no life and a hatred of anything with a cock to end up in one horribly written place on the internet.

props on that one i guess.

Our thoughts exactly, honey.