Crappiest Crap Email Ever: Whiny Guy, Asian Fetish, Faked Death

As a stand-alone, this crap email from a white guy with an Asian fetish to the Asian asexual woman who didn't want to date him would be a worthy addition to the Crap Email From A Dude Hall of Fame. But the crap writer of this crap email didn't stop at an overwrought, way over-the-top message to the indifferent ether;… » 10/08/13 3:31pm 10/08/13 3:31pm

Crap Email From a Dude: '$30, and Then We're Square'

In theory, preemptive Facebook stalking should serve to help would-be blind daters avoid an awkward first encounter. In practice, it can entangle you in a web of awkwardness and obligation, and then give people you never care to speak to again a means to contact you — crappily. In today's edition of Crap Email from a… » 6/08/12 5:40pm 6/08/12 5:40pm

America's Number One Pop Song Reads Like A Crap Email From a Dude

"Someone That I Used To Know" by Gotye, a man so heartbroken that he can't spell Gaultier properly, is all over the radio, on Saturday Night Live and deep inside your consciousness. It's the number one song on the Billboard charts. But have you listened to the lyrics of this track? They read like a Crap Email From a… » 4/20/12 1:00pm 4/20/12 1:00pm

Vera Wang's Dad Wrote An Epically Nasty CEFAD To His 30-Year Mistress

Were you looking for a story that involved a $120 million estate, marital infidelity, a prominent fashion designer, a lawsuit, international flights to see the dying, and a deathbed breakup contract? If so, you're in luck. The estate of C.C. Wang, Vera Wang's oil-millionaire dad, has prevailed in a lawsuit with Wang » 4/19/12 1:40pm 4/19/12 1:40pm

'I Am Sure in Your Mind That This Was Some Big Step for Girl Power'

Most of us have received a crap email or two in our day. You know the type — the ex who tries to make you feel bad about yourself, the forgotten hookup who's convinced he was the most important person in your life, the date who inelegantly demands a second chance. But these are all garden-variety assholery compared to… » 3/05/12 3:45pm 3/05/12 3:45pm

Crap Email From a Dude: Rush Limbaugh Fanboy Extravaganza Edition

Yesterday, I wrote a post wherein I wasn't very nice to undifferentiated meat sack Rush Limbaugh in response to his on-air assertion that women who want free birth control must be whores. Without delay, his more fawning fans decided to briefly crawl out of their Confederate Flag Snuggies and give me a piece of their… » 3/01/12 3:40pm 3/01/12 3:40pm

Federal Judge Sends Insanely Racist Email Implying Obama's Mom Fucked a …

Judges are primarily known for one thing: their good judgment. But that is the opposite of what Chief U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull used when he decided to send an email to six of his "'old buddies' and acquaintances" containing an exceedingly racist joke about President Obama. Oh, and he sent it from his official… » 3/01/12 9:30am 3/01/12 9:30am

Crap Email from a Dude: State Lawmaker Who Can't Get Laid Edition

Last week, Virginia Republican Dave Albo entertained a crowd of his legislature buddies with a hilarious House floor story of how his wife wouldn't have sex with him because of Virginia's Mandatory Ultrasound Bill. Many were upset that locker room talk was occurring on the taxpayer's dime, and one reader wrote to tell … » 2/27/12 3:00pm 2/27/12 3:00pm

Dr. Oz Gives His Audience No Choice But to Admit They're Fat

Anyone who's ever watched Dr. Oz at work knows that he is a hack of the first order. He'll happily push whatever magical berry or miracle elixir will pay him, passing it off as essential to keep you from dying—or worse, getting fat. He's a women's magazine with a mouth. So we were not shocked when a tipster alerted us… » 2/01/12 10:20am 2/01/12 10:20am

Kansas Representative Issues Non-Apology After Calling First Lady 'Mrs. …

An embarrassing Republican has issued a textbook non-apology weeks after forwarding an email that called First Lady Michelle Obama "Mrs. YoMamma" and implied that she and the Grinch were twins separated at birth. He's sorry people got mad. He didn't mean to offend anyone. But can we all agree that the President and First … » 1/09/12 11:20am 1/09/12 11:20am

Investment Banker Proves Dating Is Getting Ever More Crappy

"Lauren" met "Mike" one night at the New York Philharmonic. Little is known about the exact nature of their interaction during their one date — though Lauren described it as "HORRIFIC" — but afterwards, Mike sent Lauren a 1605-word email reproach-cum-Jeremiad-cum-plea for a second date. It's now making the rounds, thanks to… » 12/07/11 4:35pm 12/07/11 4:35pm

Crap Email From A Dude, The Movie: "Thought You Were Underage"

It's a pretty bad idea to contact a stranger and tell her she's hot because she looks like a young girl. Ed did this, to Abigail. And this very special CEFAD is re-enacted for your pleasure by weird bear creatures. » 12/29/10 2:15pm 12/29/10 2:15pm