Actually, the post begins: "One of my biggest pet peeves is a girl who is not probably groomed on all parts of her body." Dude. You mean "properly." Right? Stop looking at yourself in the mirror and get an education.


The "Philly fameball" continues:

If you are a hot girl, then it is imperative that everything is shaved, or clean to the point that there is minimal hair. I have had many experiences with beautiful women where they have been amazing looking (especially Internationally), but upon further investigation they are not properly groomed, and I have actually stopped in the middle of the act. One of the many things I notice on a girl while talking to them, and figuring out whether I am going to have them is their: nails, hair, make-up, and skin, and this will many times separate girls who are hot (8's and 9's) from girls who I want to take it to the next level with that night (10's). I remember once going home with a girl from Bungalow 8 in NYC who was a 10, and when I saw her naked and ungroomed, I became so disgusted that I asked her to leave my apartment, and when she said "What's wrong?" I told her, "I am not into the hair thing". She told me she hadn't been with anyone in 2 months, and wasn't planning on anything that night, so I decided to let her stay over. That next weekend when we hung out she was totally shaved.

Just FYI, according to the "Kade Scale", Megan Fox and Gisele Bundchen are 10s; Halle Berry is an 8 "a cute girl, but not date-worthy" and Salma Hayek is a 7 ("cute and somewhat sexy, but not someone that I would date.")

Friends, this is a sad, sad day in America. On the planet Earth, even. Because no matter how far we have come — I mean, we kind of almost had a female president of the United States, right? — there will always be shallow, narcissistic dudes who think that porn stars and Victoria's Secret models are illustrative examples of what it means to be a woman. Hair has nothing to do with a woman's "cleanliness" or hotness, IT MEANS THAT SHE HAS HIT PUBERTY and is no longer a child. How do these people exist? How can you, in this day and age, assign a number to a woman and judge her on her appearance and pubes? What kind of family raises a son who would write this:

The woman taking my blood at Quest Diagnostics had a visible mustache. I actually felt uncomfortable having her take my blood because of this, and I contemplated mentioning to her that I wanted a new nurse.

Seriously? Too bad he didn't suddenly pass out or suffer heart failure and require MOUTH TO MOUTH resuscitation from her. Because if there is a God, surely she would smite you for bodysnarking a fucking medical professional.

Grooming [ArthurKade.com]

Roissy is a proponent of PUA (pickup artistry) or "game," and his raison d'etre is helping hapless men "bang" more chicks while spending less money, thus developing into "alpha males." Since the whole point of his blog is to treat women like prey and men like animals whose worth increases in proportion to their savagery, we're not exactly surprised that his list of "tramp tells" (used to distinguish "wife and mother of your children material" from "stopwatch material. You wonder how fast you can get her from 'Hi' to 'Spread your ass cheeks, I’m going in'") is misogynistic. Still, we thought you "wind-up Jezebel lezbots" would enjoy a few selections:

She suggests kinky sex acts.

Cosmo agrees with this one. Somehow we're not shocked by the similarity.

She *really* seems to know what she’s doing in bed.

All those man-pleasing tips aside, you'd better lie back and think of England lest he assume you're some kind of whore.

She has an impressive collection of vibrators and admits to wacking off to porn.

This means "she’s a high testosterone sex fiend who values sexual novelty more than pair bonding. This type of girl is a creature of her id. High T girls are easy to spot. Check for forearm hair, narrow hips, broad shoulders, a penchant for cursing, a flat ass (adjusted for race), career ambition, and status whoring." Thanks, Roissy, for the handy checklist of qualities that are valued in men and denigrated in women.

And, finally, combining several types of bigotry into one fetid package:

She’s black.

It's Easy To Identify A Slut [Roissy in DC]