Lindsay Sings: "If I Want It, I Get It. Now."

• Synth! Dance beat! Breathy vocals! It's Lindsay Lohan's new track, "Bossy." And guess what? It doesn't totally suck. "Stop touching me without permission," she sings. "I'm jut a little bossy. If I want it, I get it — Now." Ha! Like that fur coat? But is the song as good as Kelis's "Bossy"? Well, LL's track was written by Ne-Yo. Lemme know what you think. I may have to listen again. And Again. And then one more time, with rollerskates on. I'm so embarrassed. [People]
  
• Meanwhile: Lindsay's dad Michael is pissed that the Mingling Moms named ex-wife Dina a "Top Mom." He says: "Are you kidding? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi." Meanwhile, Dina says: "He's on a mission to destroy me." Wow, this kind of stuff must be great for the kids to hear. [Page Six]
  
• So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon spill all their wedding details to People, including the fact that they get along because they are 'both eternally 12 years old" and Mariah now has a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo. [Yahoo News]

"Eight Years Ago You Promised To Restore Dignity To The White House...Brilliant Appearance On Deal Or No Deal!

Newlyweds Beyoncé And Jay-Z Not Attached At Hip

• LOL headline of the day: "Jay-Z Leaves New Wife Beyoncé At Home To Watch Basketball." OMG you guys, he went somewhere without her! [Mirror]
  
• Is Beyoncé wearing gloves so we can't see her damn wedding ring? [Concrete Loop]
  
• Amy Winehouse is the headlining act this Saturday at a festival on the Isle Of Wight. Will she shout out Blake Incarcerated? [Mirror]
  
• Rosie O'Donnell talked about her time on The View on The Martha Stewart Show yesterday: "There was people there telling me what to do. There was a little Republican who scared me." [People]
  
• A fence along the Mexican border "bears all the credibility and seriousness of flying saucers from Mars or leprechauns. Or any manner of malicious, paranoid superstition. In other words, it's bullshit. It's a complete disaster. It's an act of fascist madness." — Tommy Lee Jones. [Page Six]

Pamela Anderson Is No Fan Of Leeches, Human Or Otherwise

Another Rough Night For Britney Spears

• Apparently, Britney and her "friend" Sam Lutfi got in a fight last night: Photogs started snapping and she asked them to leave her alone. There's more, but let's just say that the cops were called to keep the paparazzi at bay and helicopters circled overhead. Clusterfuck. [TMZ, ONTD, Perez Hilton, Perez Hilton]
  
• Barbara Walters says she spoke with Lutfi, who told her that Britney has seen a shrink and has "mental issues which are treatable." Apparently Britney has mood swings and insomnia as well. [USA Today]
  
• No surprise here: sources interviewed in a profile of Britney in Blender paint a picture of a woman who has been used and lied to most of her life. Eric Foster White, who co-wrote six songs on her first album, says, "You have to understand that there's nobody in the equation who stood to benefit by giving it to her straight." [MSNBC]

Bill Clinton: Come Write With Us

• Bill Clinton has begun blogging! Just like us! We wonder if he'll do hungover Friday tomorrow too! [Clinton Foundation]
  
• We've always really liked Craig Ferguson. Now we have to like him less: He's dating Sharon Stone. Anna's heart just broke. [The Daily Blabber]
  
• A judge has dismissed Valerie Plame's lawsuit against the White House in regards to leaking her identity while working as an undercover operative for the CIA. [MSNBC]
  
• Go with us on this: Dinosaurs are sorta like Lindsay Lohan. A slow ascent to power in which they knocked out their other, similar, competitors. And then overnight (literally) crashed and burned. [BBC]

"The Bachelor" Andy Baldwin: A Complete Tool

We could all learn a thing or two from Craig.

Crush Of the Day: Craig Ferguson