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Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
The Secret Lives Of Women: Should Marriage Be A Family Affair?
"Does The Horrific Taste Of Vagina Become Less Vomitous As I Get Used To Oral?"

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MargaretMoony
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
Why is incest so fascinating? Why? I mean, not a lot of people want to do it, but they sure want to read/write/etc about it.
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scarletbegonia
11/27/09

@MargaretMoony: It's definitely one of the most classic twists in gothic novels.
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
Once again, Liz Lemon already has something to say on this subject:
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
11/27/09

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Let's try this again...

Dammit! Video at link:
[vids.myspace.com]
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Edited by Le Kangourou de Kataroo at 11/27/09 7:56 PM

spamanda
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
I can't believe I missed this!
My husband's sister married their first cousin. They were all raised together. My husband was a bit weirded out by it, but honestly his family is so interestingly dysfunctional that it didn't shock me.
They split up this past summer. That has made life interesting, since he's still part of our family but obviously they don't want to be around each other for holidays and things.
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cupcakebelly
11/27/09

@spamanda: I love that- interestingly dysfunctional. I'm going to borrow that phrase to describe my family.
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spamanda
11/27/09

@cupcakebelly: They're the kind that doesn't hurt anyone, but when I describe them to people, everyone says, "WTF?" lol
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MargaretMoony
11/27/09

@cupcakebelly: I also like that phrasing.
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howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches)
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
Oh, c'mon. You know George Michael clipped this article and left it somewhere for Maeby to find.
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LaComtesse
11/27/09

@howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches): Les Cousins Dangereux!
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bluewine
11/27/09

@howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches): He will proceed to bring it up to Michael in the most awkward way possible.
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meritxell: an erotic life
11/27/09

@howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches): Why, has there been a change in the legislation?
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laikapants
11/27/09

@bluewine:

Michael: That cousin of yours is a smart girl... It's too bad you can't date her.
George Michael Bluth: No, I was talk... You mean, you wouldn't have a problem with that?
[Michael looks at him funny]
George Michael Bluth: ...Nothing.

Narrator: George Michael was getting ready for school when he came across a box of love letters he'd written, but never sent, to his cousin Maeby. One letter, titled "If you weren't my cousin," was particularly incriminating.
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MargaretMoony
11/27/09

@howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches): Ah, Arrested Development!
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
It really broke my heart to see how many of these people had trouble from their families about it. There's just no reason whatsoever for that. People manufacture reasons to wish other people ill; I'm sick of it.
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la.donna.pietra
11/27/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: You'd think the one bright spot in marrying your cousin would be that at least you'd already know your in-laws.

Seriously, though, why can't people just accept love?
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A Small Turnip
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
If it's good enough for Ashley Wilkes and Melanie Hamilton, it's good enough for me.
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LaComtesse
11/27/09

@A Small Turnip: Poor Honey never got in on that sweet, sweet cousin action. Damn your fickle nature, Charles Hamilton!
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la.donna.pietra
11/27/09

@A Small Turnip: Also, Edmund Bertram and Fanny Price. St. John Rivers and Jane Eyre, though, I can't condone, because he was a douche.
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BearDownCBears
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
At the very least, you can have a small wedding without leaving anybody out.
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BeckySharper
11/27/09

@BearDownCBears: Think how easy the holidays would be--no having to go back and forth between families! (On the other hand, it might suck if you didn't like your family--no "oh, we're spending it with HER family as an excuse.")
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BearDownCBears
11/27/09

@BeckySharper: Single-payer grandparenting would be highly efficient, but inevitable political fallout with providers is a killer.
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JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
To be honest, what bothers me most about voluntary incest is the laziness. The rest of us have to dress up and go out to find partners, and they only had to go to their auntie's house!
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Edited by JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing! at 11/27/09 4:56 PM

femme-bot
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
I wouldn't do it. But if it's two consenting adults and all that, I really can't care/support banning it.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
I know, I know I'm supposed to be more mature about this but...
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Edited by Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC at 11/27/09 4:52 PM

cand86
11/27/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC: Aw, but that's no fair- that was about artificial insemination!
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/27/09

@cand86: It was my first reaction when I thought about dating one of my first cousins. They spliced all of the insemination stuff out though, so I thought it still applied. At least for my sentiments.
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LaComtesse
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
The social ick factor for me only comes in if the cousins were raised really close since children. If you weren't, I don't think it's at all creepy.

Anyone who argues genetics can kiss my ass. Should we not allow certain ethnic groups with instances of genetic diseases to marry because their offspring may get one of them? That's eugenics and creepy.
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Plum-Pie
11/27/09

@LaComtesse: What do you feel the difference is between marrying a cousin you grew up with and marrying the person who grew up down the street from you?

I'm genuinely interested!
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Maggita
11/27/09

@LaComtesse: I remember seeing a special on cousin marriage, and it gave the statistic that children of first cousins are as predisposed to genetic abnormalities as children of women over the age of forty. And, as you aptly put it, if we're going to police people on who gets to make babies and add to the gene pool, there are many diseases, disorders and general bad stuff that's genetically inherited. If we factored all that in, only about two people per continent would be diverse enough and free of bad genes.
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LaComtesse
11/27/09

@Plum-Pie: Hmm. Good question: I think it comes down to the knowledge of the taboo and the intentional flaunting of it (not that there's anything dreadfully wrong with that). Also, the way you're socialized as children playing together by the adults in the situation is different. Parents and aunts/uncles are likely to emphasize family closeness (strengthening the taboo) whereas family friends socialize the kids with the knowledge that they're not related, that they're different, and, often, even joke about "someday we're going to marry you two off."
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bluebears
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
My moms parents (my grandparents) were first cousins. There mothers were sisters. All their kids were totally as normal as can be. Another two relatives (of my grandparents generation) were half-brother and sister and were married for about 15 years and had three kids (they didn't know each other until they met when she was 15 he was 17) and there kids were all normal. In fact one of their sons went on to become a provost at an SEC university. It was always a big taboo obviously in that the family knew it seemed weird to others, but inside the family it was all very ho-hum.
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Edited by bluebears at 11/27/09 4:46 PM bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred

SUNNY1
11/27/09

@bluebears: My second cousin (at least I think that's what he is) is the product of cousins marrying: his mom and dad are related. It's treated as a family joke, especially around Thanksgiving when we all trace how we're related. However, they are related on my mom's side, and her side is notably huge. They actually didn't know they were cousins until a bit after they married, that's how big my family is. So while everyone accepts it, and it's no biggie, a part of me wonders if that's only because it basically happened by accident.
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BeckySharper
11/27/09

@bluebears: My maternal grandmother's parents were first cousins (old-line Southern WASPs). So were my paternal grandfather's parents (shtetl-born Ashkenazis). It's common across cultures and absolutely nothing bad usually comes of it so who cares?
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bluebears
09:15 AM

@SUNNY1: my grandparents grew up together. They were close in age and became friends from early on. I don't think there was ever a point they weren't best friends. They dated other people as teens but they always just loved each other.
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bluebears
09:15 AM

@BeckySharper: I know. I think it was much more common just a couple generations ago.
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SUNNY1
03:39 PM

@bluebears: Sniff. Your grandparents sound adorable.
Correction: Your grandparents' story is basically a rom-com waiting to happen. Granted, it might have to wait a WHILE...
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NellMood
11/27/09

In reply to Cousin "It": We Now Pronounce You Cusband And Wife
I read this article yesterday and it made me really uncomfortable, but I can't pinpoint why. I think part of it might be that I grew up very close with my cousins, so that it was more like a sibling relationship, and the idea of having a romantic relationship with them just seems viscerally wrong. So, I don't know- I don't want to be critical of a happy relationship between two consenting adults, but I also have a hard time understanding it.
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LilSpitfire
11/27/09

@NellMood: I think this is why the ick factor is high with many people.

Cousins often in this day and age are more like siblings(raised together) than distant children of other relatives.

The only thing that worried me really is the genetic stuff and if it isn't an issue than cool.
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NellMood
11/27/09

@LilSpitfire: Maybe another factor in my feelings is the fact that all my cousins are super conservative Republicans. But yeah, I think the genetic issues were at the center of my discomfort, and honestly with all my cancer and depression genes I'm not sure I should judge anyone for possible genetic problems.
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clochette
11/27/09

@NellMood: You've just described what is in fact the biological mechanism that makes the incest taboo function. What stops us from feeling sexually attracted to members of our close family is not our shared parentage but their literal proximity to us during a certain period of our childhood (up to age 9 or thereabouts, I think). So, if you see almost as much of your cousins as most people do of their siblings while you are young, you won't develop feelings for them. But, if you're separated from an actual sibling during this crucial phrase, then later reunited, the mechanism won't function and you may well develop feelings for them.

Now obviously there are people to whom this generalised rule doesn't apply, but widely speaking that's the way that science explains our natural disinclination towards incestuous relationships.
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ainsworth2
11/27/09

@clochette: This article reminded me of the ick factor that I had when I read Mansfield Park, where the heroine falls in love with her first cousin. Shivers.
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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
11/27/09

@ainsworth2: But then, that's set in the late 18th/early 19th century. As well as being unaware of the genetic problems, people had bigger families who saw less of each other and liked to keep money etc within those families (Catherine de Bourgh's daughter and Darcy were unoficially betrothed in Pride and Prejudice, etc). Also given the age gap and the fact that she met Edmund when she was, I believe, 10 (past the stage where children forced into close proximity like that see each other more as siblings) I see their relationship slightly differently. Nowadays I think there's just so much more choice that, given the disadvantages and the fact people are far likely to be closer to their first cousins than they would have done in Austen's time, people are far more likely to think - marry? your cousin? WHY?!
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