Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who pleaded guilty in October to paying hush money, allegedly to cover up sexual abuse allegations, has been hospitalized for the past six weeks, according to his lawyer. Politico reports that Hastert suffered a stroke and has undergone two back surgeries while in the hospital.

Welcome to Big Time Small-Time Dicks, a regular column on The Slot that explores local politicians, small-town scandals, and everything else making life miserable on a local level. Know a small time person who is a big time dick we should feature? Email us.

The Marshall Project and ProPublica published a very, very good feature today about an 18-year-old Western Washington woman who was wrongly accused by police of lying about her rape. There’s also a glimpse at how they reported the story. The woman sued the city, settling for $150,000 in January of 2014.

The Michigan judge who held three children in civil contempt in July and sent them to a juvenile justice facility for refusing to see their father may be facing serious professional discipline. A complaint filed against Judge Lisa Gorcyca of Oakland County says that her demeanor on the bench was “improper” and that…

Remember the English guy from last week who deflected rape charges by saying he had probably fallen inside his 18-year-old victim? Turns out he was recently acquitted! So, I was wrong, courts will actually believe anything that comes from the mouth of a rich middle-aged man.

After deliberating for more than 45 hours over four days, an Oklahoma City jury has found ex-police officer Daniel Holtzclaw guilty on 18 of the 36 charges he faced for assaulting at least 13 black women.

Russell Taylor, the former head of the foundation started by Subway sandwich-hocker and extreme creep Jared Fogle, has been sentenced to 27 years in prison. Taylor pleaded guilty to charges of child exploitation and manufacturing child pornography. The prosecution sought a 35 year sentence.

Daniel Holtzclaw’s trial continued Monday, the former Oklahoma City police officer accused of sexually assaulting at least 13 black women. During closing arguments, his defense attorney suggested the alleged victims who testified were less “perfect victims” than “perfect accusers,” and that they and other witnesses in…

U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch announced Monday morning that the Department of Justice is launching a broad investigation into the Chicago Police Department. Lynch said the DOJ will specifically investigate any “racial, ethnic or other disparities” in how the department uses deadly force, and determine if they…

The never-ending case of Oscar Pistorius reached a new twist Thursday, when a South African appeals court overturned his lesser conviction of “culpable homicide” and convicted him of murder. Pistorius, who was recently freed from prison and placed on house arrest, now faces a 15-year sentence.

A 20-year-old Marine has been convicted of killing a Filipina woman after he discovered she was transgender. Lance Cpl. Joseph Scott Pemberton was convicted of homicide in the slaying of Jennifer Laude, who he met in a disco in October 2014. He killed Laude hours later by strangling her in a hotel room and pushing her…

Former New York State Assemblyman and speaker Sheldon Silver is on trial for corruption, which is surprising, as long as you are very, very very easily surprised. Also a little odd: one of the jurors asked to be excused almost as soon as deliberations began, writing, “I don’t feel like I can be myself right now!”

In early November, a 19-year-old Texas woman named Sarah Furay was arrested while allegedly toting an eye-popping array of pharmaceuticals. Several news stories referred to the woman, Sarah Furay, as “adorable.” While apologizing for that word choice, Death and Taxes has also uncovered the less-adorable fact that…

Update, 1:15 p.m.: Fogle has been sentenced to 15 years and eight months in prison, the AP reports:

Dear God, what have we done to deserve this beautiful defense?

The American Civil Liberties Union and the Department of Justice are locked in a battle over Chelsea Manning’s hair length. The DOJ says Manning, currently serving 35 years for leaking classified military documents, can’t be permitted to grow her hair longer than two inches. Her hair could pose “pose a significant…

The actor who voiced Charlie Brown in the animated Peanuts specials has pled guilty to making all sorts of threats. Prosecutors say Peter Robbins, who previously served jail time for threatening the plastic surgeon who performed his girlfriend’s breast augmentation, threatened to kill San Diego Sheriff Bill Gore.

The Erie County District Attorney’s office announced Thursday morning that hockey player Patrick Kane won’t face rape charges. Earlier this week, reports indicated that the alleged victim in the case had stopped cooperating with the investigation.

Owen Labrie, 20, has been sentenced to one year in jail for sexually assaulting a 15-year-old classmate at the elite St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire. In a statement delivered by video in court Thursday, the victim said she still suffers from flashbacks and said the St. Paul’s community showed her a stunning lack of…

The Supreme Court begins its fall term today, and it’s already shaping up to be a doozy. Its docket includes public employee unions, affirmative action, the death penalty, and—oh, hell, why not?— probably abortion and birth control, too. While all of these are politically contentious issues with the potential to shape…