[Culver City, December 15. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Jennifer Hudson will sing for President Obama, Michelle Obama and their guests at a state dinner tonight.

I love that the Obamas love their Chicago gal. She should always be at the White House. For some reason, I am imagining a scenario in which JHud sings "And I am telling you… I'm not going…" And then actually refuses to leave. [ET]

• Miley Cyrus went for burgers, and when the counter person asked her name to mark the order, the teen dream said: ""Are you serious? You don't recognize me? I'm Miley Cyrus." The counterperson shrugged, having no idea what that meant, and replied: "That's nice for you. Here is your order. Have a good day." [Page Six]
• Wow, Carla Bruni is going to be in a Woody Allen movie! "I don't know for what role but I said yes," she explains. And she admits she lacks experience as an actress: Perhaps I will be very bad." [WSJ]
• Judi Dench was filming a Christmas special set in the 1840s when she lost a crown on her tooth. ''There wasn't time for me to change,'' she says. ''So I was in my wig and bonnet and all my clothes. I went into the waiting room and sat and registered, and everyone kept looking at me. When I got in to see the dentist, he said: 'Are you busy working at the moment?' I was wearing a full wig with curls." [Telegraph]
• BREAKING: Amber Tamblyn got eyelash extensions. [Page Six]
• Jon and Kate might be over, but the Jon Gosselin drama lives on! The breach of contract suit against him — in which TLC claims be took on unauthorized work — persists. Now there are — you guessed it — phone call recordings between Gosselin's manager and (who else?) Michael Lohan. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At the link, you can listen to a recorded Jon Gosselin rant about TLC and say: "I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it." [Radar Online]
• Mariah Carey was on GMTV in the UK, and the host of the show says: "She had two people to lower her on to the GMTV sofa, in case her dress got crushed, one person to walk in front of her backwards at all times in case she fell over and several people behind the camera making sure she was going to be filmed from the right angle! Oh, and she brought her own toilet roll as well." [The Sun]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds partied all night for ScarJo's birthday, and ScarJo and RyRen looked so in love and everything was wonderful and their life is perfect. [Page Six]
• Regis Philbin will be away from Live with Regis & Kelly for a month while he recovers from hip replacement surgery. Be well Reege! [NY Post]
• Emma Watson has a new boyfriend, Spanish rock star Rafael Cebrian. Allegedly. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse spent thousands on "saucy" underwear, perfume and a rhinestone-enrcusted whip over the weekend. According to a source, "Amy loves showing off her new boobs and wanted to get sexy underwear to make the most of them. She couldn't resist getting a few other bits and pieces, like the whip." [The Sun]
• Remember when Nicole Kidman said she'd "explored obsession" and "strange sexual fetish stuff"? She takes it back, sorta: She meant when acting! "That's what I said in relation to my work. In terms of my work, yeah, I'm interested in exploring love and so that comes in all different forms. In terms of my private life, I'd never reveal what I've explored in my private life." [Daily Express]
• Just because Taylor Lautner is on the cover of Men's Health and Taylor Swift was on the cover of Women's Health doesn't mean they're in competition with each other. Jeez. [Page Six]
• A film about Lil' Wayne is controversial? You don't say. [CNN]
• For some reason I hallucinated that Cougar Town was cancelled. Instead it was just on a break while Courteney Cox dealt with a "family matter" and will be back filming on November 30. I would love to do a "when do you think Cougar Town will get cancelled" pool, though. [People]
  
• Neve Campbell talks about living in London, getting ready to film Scream 4, her "terrible" fashion mistakes in the past, her work with an orphanage in African and "working the Sidney bob" for the Scream flicks. [BlackBook]
• Timbaland says he did not delete Chris Brown's vocal from a track called "The One I Love" due to the drama in Chris' life — "Chris is a friend to us," a rep for Timbaland claims. But Chris is missing from the song. [E!]
• 50 Cent settled the lawsuit he filed against Taco Bell after the fast-food chain used his name without permission. The dollar amount has not been disclosed, but 50 was asking for $4 million, which buys a lot of 99¢ tacos. [NY Post]
• Tyler Perry has donate $1 million to the NAACP. [WaPo]
• Spencer Pratt bet some DJs that Heidi Montag's performance at the Miss Universe pageant was the most-watched performance of all time and now he wants his money. [TMZ]
• Jeez, the Aerosmith dramz is never-ending. Joe Perry is not speaking to Steven Tyler and seems generally hostile about the situation. [MTV News]
• It appears that Pulp Fiction writer Roger Avary is updating his Twitter account and Tweeting. From JAIL. [The Wrap]
• Rosie O'Donnell raised money for her Rosie's Broadway Kids charity not by offering trips or prizes or dinners — but by working the room. [Showbiz 411]
• Poor Kirk Cameron. Going to a UCLA to convince students that Darwin's theory of evolution is wrong really backfired on you, huh? The students totally know what they're talking about when they say Darwin had evidence. [TMZ]
• Tila Tequila claims a sex video that recently popped up on a porn site was stolen from her laptop two years ago. She's planning to sue. [TMZ]
• There will be a Susan Boyle documentary on the TV Guide Network? Isn't that the one where the channels scroll all day long? [NY Post]
• Little Richard is recovering from surgery and asks for your wop bop a loo bops and prayers. [USA Today]
• Whatshername would like to apologize for her behavior since her divorce. [BBC News]
• "I knew what tone I wanted for the book, and it was a matter first of coming up with an outline, getting the characters, the ending, and then figuring out how to get from one point to the next. I'd send [a chapter] to [my collaborator]. He'd come back with some notes. If there was something I felt strongly enough about, then we'd talk about it to see if it would work. The book had to sound like I wrote it." — Al Roker, on his new mystery novel, The Morning Show Murders. [The Daily Beast]
• "The difference between you and me is that even when I wash my hands, I can't get it out of my mind that they're not clean. I have to go back to the sink, I can't even continue with my day. I have to leave the party, leave work. Those thoughts are so intrusive and on a continual loop that I can't inhibit it. Everybody has irregular thoughts, but not like this… I'm probably the only guy set up for these book signings hoping no one will show up. I don't want to face anyone, look anyone in the eye. Who, with my condition, would do a book tour right in the middle of H1N1 flu season?" — Howie Mandel, whose book, Here's the Deal: Don't Touch Me, hits stores today. [USA Today]
• "Why are people embarrassed about elderly sex? I hate it when I'm given a script in which the guy's wife is dead. That's just an easy way to dispense with having sex. Audiences don't want to see Big Daddy and Big Mama in bed – but I like to talk about it." — James Earl Jones, who plays Big Daddy in the all-black stage version of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, now in London. [Guardian]
• "We have gotten ourselves into a big, deep hole in the way that we look at healthcare. We are in a system where they get money when we're sick. That's never going to work for us. So when someone says, 'You don't need a mammogram until you're 50,' you take charge of that. I don't trust any of that." — Melissa Etheridge. [People]
• "We were working 12 hours a day, so it didn't leave too much time to eat." — New Moon's Ashley Greene on staying thin. Then her publicist nudged her, and she said: "We had a personal trainer and then we also had fight training." [Ny Daily News]
• "It took us only six months to get married, but it took us five years to commit to making a movie together." — Tao Ruspoli, who made the indie flick Fix with his wife of seven years, Olivia Wilde. [Page Six]
• "I'm all set [with a boyfriend]. But unfortunately not everyone out there is and it's tough to date, to be out there and so I kind of wanted to portray that other side of women's reality and [my song] 'Did It Again' is about making recurrently the same mistake which is something us women tend to do because of our emotional nature, that emotional, romantic and dreamy nature." — Shakira. [AP]
• "He plays guitar and has a great voice. Kids and dogs love him. He loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He's perfect... too bad he's ugly." — Natalie Portman on Jake Gyllenhaal. I know she's kidding, but I do suspect he's had a nose job. [Mirror]

• Last week Lindsay Lohan ran when her ex Courtenay Semel confronted her about rehab. At a party this weekend her friends tried again, but Lindsay, "kept moving from room to room... She was clearly hyped-up on more than just booze."

• During a party at shipping heir Stavros Niarchos' Hollywood home, several of Lindsay's friends tried to get her alone, but source says, "It was impossible to corner her, until a few people tried to - in a bathroom when it was nearly dawn." Around 7 a.m. she spotted her father's close friend David Trent and "immediately bolted." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Last week Lindsay Lohan showed up to the launch of Pascal Mouawad and Jermaine Dupri's jewelry line at Kitson. She was paid to appear and offered $500 to spend at the store, but bargained for $1,000. Then she "went crazy" pulling out different items and eventually racked up a $15,000 bill. When she was told she'd taken too much she said, "Pascal would take care of it because I'm the only celebrity here," according to a source. But, "Pascal said no, so she went and started talking smack about him to Jermaine Dupri who doesn't even know her." She continued making demands and was eventually she allowed to take $2,000 worth of jewelry. [Fox News]
• Michael Lohan says he's going to sue the person who said he likes to get lap dances from strippers who look like his daughter. "I never said anything about dances with Lindsay," says Lohan, who says he was only at the club planning a bachelor party. "I did not go inside the club where the dancers are, didn't have a dance, and never, ever mentioned anything about my daughter. Nothing happened whatsoever. I just sat there, waiting for the owner of the club to come and talk to me." [Radar Online]
• Despite the rumors that Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri have reconciled, she called him an "ex" in a radio interview, saying, "I'm not the type of girl that stays in touch with your ex like that," however, "Jermaine is one of my best friends... I love him to death. We're still connected. We're still good friends. We still talk." [Us]
• Katherine Jackson's attorney says she's "seriously considering" filing a wrongful death lawsuit against Dr. Conrad Murray. [TMZ]
• Evan Chandler, the father of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of molestation, was found dead earlier this month. Police said, "We have ruled it as suicide because he was found with a gun held to his body and had a single bullet wound to the side of his head. Mr. Chandler was 64." [Radar Online]
• MTV bought the TV rights to Michael Jackson's This Is It. [Variety]
• Swiss officials say a court will decide whether Roman Polanski can be released on bail in two weeks. [The Mirror]
• Aaron Carter owes the government more than $1 million in back taxes, and now that he's been cut from DWTS he doesn't have a steady paycheck. [TMZ]
• Edis Kayalar, the German model who allegedly tried to extort $100,000 from Cindy Crawford has turned himself in to German police. [TMZ]
• In a countersuit, Samuel Levin, the man Nicholas Cage says mismanaged his fortune, claims: "Coppola [Cage] had already squandered tens of millions of dollars... and owed millions of dollars in... income taxes, with no funds available to pay the tax debt." [TMZ]
• ABC News says they don't pay for interviews, but they did admit to paying for the Heene's family's sushi dinner in Manhattan last night. A source at Good Morning America says, "We did not pay for a limo to drive them around the city. We did have a car service (SUV) take the family as they required a bigger car. " [TMZ]
• After Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag's Today show interview was cancelled, Spencer Tweeted about their old foe Al Roker, "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache stapled again?... you look very sick? Do you always look like your about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know? ... is it true you have been married 6 times? I'm sure all your wives left you when they realized you were abusive to women! Sicko!" Later Spencer apologized, Tweeting: "Dear WEATHERMAN after speaking with Queen Jones and Queen Lara I'm feeling very regretful for saying HATEFULL tweets towards a good man!!" [Perez Hilton]
• "I don't think Al Roker will be Tweeting me back any time soon," said Spencer Pratt, "He does only have a few thousand followers so it wouldn't even matter what he says." [Extra]
• Lady Gaga is ineligible for the best new artist awards at the Grammys because her song "Just Dance" was nominated last year in the best dance recording category. [N.Y.T.]
• Christina Ricci, who attended Lady Gaga's performance at L.A.'s Museum of Contemporary Art this weekend said, "I don't know about everybody else, but I just love the fact that she's like, 'Yes, this is what I'm wearing, and yes, this is how I'll be performing,'... And anyone who has that sort of self-confidence and the balls to sort of be like, 'I'm a fantastic creature. You'd better love me,' is OK in my book." [MTV]
• Interior designer and Oprah Winfrey regular Nate Berkus as a syndicated daytime TV show in the works. . [Broadcasting Cable]
• Proof that Twilight is a bad influence on kids: A girl was hospitalized after fighting with another girl over the last Robert Pattinson poster at a giveaway in London. [Female First]
• At the L.A. premiere of New Moon Kristen Stewart said being in the spotlight makes her nervous, which raises the question: why pursue acting? "It's a little weird, but it's all because of this .... The focus for us is the focus that [the fans] have, which is the movies," she said. "This is what you work for. Not the attention, but the fact that you can have a common interest." [People]
• Kristen Stewart says, "I get why fans want to know more about the cast as real people and they want us to be together and all of that. I just have to sort of not think about that. People have a hard time separating us from our characters. There's an incredibly large group that spends most of their time absorbed in the lives of people who've gotten some notoriety. It's strange to me. I can't have anything to do with it or else I'd step in and mess it up for myself, I just let it fall by the wayside. It doesn't really affect me." [Parade]
• Robert Pattinson says he's willing to go nude for the right role. "I think it would depend on what it is. And I don't think a lot of people would really want to see that. I think it would ruin the illusion!" he said. [Star]
• Robert Pattinson's handlers made him walk out of a radio interview with Ryan Seacrest just because Ryan asked him if he's dating Kristen Stewart. [TMZ]
• A judge has granted Ryan Seacrest a civil restraining order against Chidi Uzomah, the man accused of stalking him. He has to stay 100 yards from Seacrest. [AP]
• In the Editor's Note from this month's issue of Out Magazine, the editor-in-chief revealed that Adam Lambert's management requested his interview not seem "too gay." Now to back up the claim, the journalist who wrote the story has written a lengthy account of the interview and Lambert's publicist's warning that the the interview shouldn't bee too political or, "you know, gay-gay." [Perez Hilton]
• Adam Lambert says his new album For Your Entertainment is, as the title says, "not for me, it's for the people who are listening to it... We tried to nod to all that glam classic rock while creating a variety of different music. But at the same time I wanted to make music that was really modern and current and poppy too." [Reuters]
• Katy Perry says she was brutally honest when judging American Idol auditions because, "We all have friends or people that we've known that maybe they wanted to be a rock star, or be this or that, and no one ever told them that they can't... Like, 'It's just like you weren't born with pitch, so it's not going to happen and someone needs to tell you that because 15 years later you've wasted all this time and when you could have been a doctor." [The Star]
• The mom of X Factor reject Lucie Jones says she wants to ask Simon Cowell, "Whether he has got anything against the Welsh. Lucie was a strong contestant and he should have said nicer things to her, but he didn't." [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift is doing a line of greeting cards, gift packaging and stationary for American Greetings. Here's hoping one starts with "Imma let you finish...". [Brandweek]
• Randy and Evi Quaid have left their home in Texas and are expected to return to California to face charges over an unpaid $10,000 hotel bill. [Radar Online]
• Will Arnett will guest star on Parks & Recreation as a possible suitor for Amy Poehler's character. [EW]
• Molly Sims, Josh Duhamel's Las Vegas co-star, says the rumors he cheated on Fergie are not true. "I went to the wedding and he's a great guy and he lives by example. Do not believe everything you read," she said. "He is a great man, a great husband and great friend. It's sad because you are talking about a human being and Fergie is a wonderful woman. He is nothing but a good person. [The rumors are] sad, and it's about money." [Fox News]
• Sienna Miller's sister Savannah Miller says of the rumors that Sienna and Jude Law have reunited: "I think that would be a completely ridiculous assumption considering the way that man has conducted himself recently. That's all I'm saying." [The Telegraph]
• Michael Bolton says he's still upset about breaking up with Nicollette Sheridan: "I wouldn't wish a relationship with me on someone. I'm touring so I'm not physically present in one place enough. The worst thing about the end of the relationship (with Sheridan) was losing your best friend in the world and your closest confidante. It's a cliche but I just want Nicollette to be happy. You want the heat, the magic, the connection on every level, but ultimately it's the bond of deepest friendship that's the most powerful aspect to any relationship. That life experience together isn't something you can replace. I can't find that particular type of love again as it was unique." [Daily Express]
• Eddie Izzard says "I was an ambitious kid. It's in all the school reports, 'He really does seem to be a determined little child.' That's my way. I've always felt [the British have] a post-empire view of ambition which is that we tried it but it meant we stole other people's countries – as if there's no other form of ambition. I really hate that." [The Telegraph]
• Wanya Morris of Boyz II Men says they titled their new album Love because, "The title embodies everything that Boyz II Men represents. Every album we have ever done has always had a representation of love." [CNN]
• Last night at the 8th Annual Benefit for the Elton John Foundation Courtney Love bid to win a date with Bill Clinton, but lost. "On Clinton, I was like, 'That might be fun!' I would never bid if I didn't want to," said Love, "But after $120,000, it's like, I don't have a plutonium card." [N.Y. Magazine]
• There's trouble on the set of Cougar Town. A crew member says Courteney Cox is "Very domineering. She gives off this ‘I'm important and you're not' vibe... Courteney makes a huge number of script changes to make her character look good, and she is extremely picky about everything on the show." The source claims she once ranted about her lunch saying, "Everyone knows you are supposed to have equal parts of ham and cheese in a sandwich!'" [Pop Crunch]

• Victoria Beckham put away her Hermes bags and Louboutins and wore shredded jeans and combat boots as she joined son Brooklyn and spent 2 days with impoverished children in Kentucky.

At the link, you can see pix of Posh hanging with schoolkids. Brooklyn is one of Save The Children's youngest celebrity advocates. Posh says: "What I saw in Clay Country was the hope and promise inherent in every child. That's why we have to make sure every single child has a fair and equal start in life. Seeing Save the Children's innovative programs in action, like encouraging healthy eating, I know that we can begin to reverse the childhood poverty crisis. I'm pleased Brooklyn is learning that by helping and joining other children he can play a role in making his generation the greatest yet." [Daily Mail]

• Taylor Swift is on the cover of the new 3D issue (?!?!) of In Style, and inside she talks about meeting Taylor Lautner on the set of Valentine's Day: "He and I have gotten really close," she says. "It would be confusing on the set with two Taylors in the same scene. They were like, 'Taylor, on your mark – no, not you, the other one!' So halfway through the shoot, I said, 'How about you guys call me Swifty and call him Taylor?'" She also says: "I've never thought it was a curse to be single, and at this point in my life, I'm in the mind-set where I choose to be single — like I got to light scented candles and write in my diary and I wouldn't have time for that if I had a boyfriend right now!" [People]
• Oprah claimed that citizens of Dubai get free water, electricity and health care without paying income tax. While it's true residents are not subject to income tax, there is no support for the other claims. Whoops! [Page Six]
• The National Enquirer is reporting that David Letterman's wife asked him to move out; his rep says the story is "wrong." And it appears that reporters from the Enquirer called Dave's mom for a statement, because they are jerks. Her comment: "I don't know anything about that." [NY Daily News]
• This one is real, not a Hortense creation: "Sombre Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look distant on a rare night out as they join A-listers at art party." [Daily Mail]
• Cops in Germany have searched a home in connection with the Cindy Crawford extortion case. The apartment might belong to Edis Kayalar, the guy who allegedly tried to get Cindy and her husband to pay him not to release a photo of their daughter bound and gagged. [TMZ]
• Vivid Entertainment is trying to buy Carrie Prejean's "erotic footage." [TMZ]
• Diddy's 40th birthday party will be a "fantasy dreamland" with fashion installations, a labyrinth, performance art and light shows. Plus a "very special" musical guest. Who could it be? [Page Six]
• Holy crap, the stills from "Video Phone," Beyoncé's video with Lady Gaga, look weird and amazing. The video should be out this week. [The Life Files]
• Mariah Carey pulled out of a performance on Brit TV show Strictly Come Dancing so she could appear on competing show X Factor. [Telegraph]
• Hayden Panettiere is producing a CW show called HMS — Harvard Medical School — which basically sounds like Grey's Anatomy Junior. [ET]
• Ryan Reynolds will be part of the NYC theatrical comedy show Celebrity Autobiography: In Their Own Words, in which stars read humorous snippets from celebrity memoirs. Ryan will read from Kenny Loggins' The Unimaginable Life: Lessons Learned on the Path of Love. Also reading: Rachel Dratch, Carol Kane, Sherri Shepherd, Michael Urie, and Kristen Wiig. [NY Times]
• Courteney Cox — and husband David Arquette — are looking forward to being in Scream 4. She's not sure about the plot, but imagines that: "He's probably still deputy, and I've had a lot of kids. I don't know. I'm probably miserable, and then I'm sure a lot of murdering will happen." [AP]
• Flavor Flav entered a Doritos commercial contest "randomly and unprovoked" and his spot is "pretty damn good." [Page Six]
• Sigourney Weaver has been named in a £3.1 million lawsuit over a business deal involving Vincent Longo cosmetics, of which she is a part-owner. [Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker has been named Philanthropist of the Year by The Hollywood Reporter. [THR]
• Did you know that Simon Cowell has an older sister named June Cowell? And that she was a child actress? And that she has lived in Majorca for more than 30 years? You do now. [Daily Mail}
• Shayne Lamas was busted for a DUI — she says she had only one drink. [TMZ]
• Did Farrah Fawcett have a "secret lover" in her will? [Daily Express]
• Uncle Jesse John Stamos gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. [ONTD via NBC Los Angeles]
• Run, Fez, run! Wilmer Valderrrama will join a US Marine veteran on a 100-mile trek across Louisiana. [Page Six]
• If Aretha Franklin wants you to turn the air conditioning off, turn it off! Don't release voicemails and call her a diva. Jeez. [Gatecrasher]
• Hello, random: Donna Mills of Knots Landing is not a fan of Carrie Prejean. More specifically, she thinks the beauty queen should "shut her mouth." [TMZ]
• Black people: Omitted from the Couples Retreat poster in the UK. [Mail on Sunday]
• Lou Dobbs says his departure from CNN was "amicable." [NY Times]
• Yesterday in NYC, while attempting to break up a brawl at a club in Brooklyn, cops shot and killed a bouncer who had once been a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NY Post]
• At the link, discover how Led Zeppelin wrote "Stairway to Heaven." [NY Post]
• "I'm not moving to America, I will sometimes go there. I have to go there to make films. We do make films in England but it's more like a hobby. They're like 'Come along, we can make a film. Oh, and can you make the sandwiches?'" — Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "I'm hoping the chemistry with Ellen will be great — and a great start to the season." — American Idol's Kara DioGuardi. [Reuters]
• "In hindsight, it was a magnificent thing for both of us in the sense that we got to see, both of us, really commit to this. A lot of marriages, it might take years and years for something to befall the relationship to see what are we made of. Are we gonna stand up when the storms come? And to see that that early on was really, it was life changing for me 'cause I knew I was with somebody that was in this. They're really, really in this. And so, I wanted to be in this, too. We both just stepped up to the plate, and she followed her heart, you know, God bless her. It was all life-changing." — Keith Urban, on going into rehab four months into his marriage to Nicole Kidman. [CBS News]
• "Having Jude Law licking my face for three days solid was a surreal experience. It was for a scene in 2007's Blueberry Nights. My character had passed out on a table and Jude had to come in and kiss some cream off the corner of my mouth. We did the take over and over again, so he kissed me about 90 times. There are worse ways to spend your day." — Norah Jones. [Daily Mail]
• "My life was kind of weird. My mother would cook, but we would get looked after by lots of maids. It felt like we lived in these big, enormous houses with lots of guests." — Carey Mulligan's father was a hotel executive, so she lived in hotels while growing up. [Reuters]
• "I can't answer it. The way I write, it's what makes me happy. Like, I can't write when people are looking over my shoulder. I am a little burned out on vampires right now. I think I need a little break. I might go spend some time with my aliens. I might do something completely different. I've got to cleanse the palate. I may come back to it. I did envision it as a longer series. But I wrapped ‘Breaking Dawn' in a way that I felt satisfied with, so if that moment didn't come, I'd be OK." — Stephenie Meyer on the possibility of a fifth Twilight book. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." — Ashlee Simpson. [People]
• "I hate doing school scenes and office scenes; I hate doing mall scenes… if I could do exciting genre films like this and be covered in blood and vomit for the rest of my life, I would be really happy." — Megan Fox. [Showbiz Spy]
• "I own the rights to (Oscar-winning Gone with the Wind co-star) Hattie McDaniel's life story, and I can't wait to tell that story, because that woman was absolutely amazing. She had to stand up to the adversity of black and white (society) at a time when we really weren't accepted. Mr. Lee Daniels is going to direct it, of course, and I'm going to be Miss Hattie McDaniel. I really hope I can do that woman justice." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I love to get on that stage, honey, and make you laugh until you pee on yourself… That's my baby. I will never stop stand-up. I will be 97 years old, with two teeth and maybe a bit of hair, and I will be on that stage hoping they're having as much (fun) as I'm having." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I feel bad for kids who are just getting famous now. If Reality Bites had come out now and I had all those people Gawker-stalking me, my life would have been hell. I feel bad for the way pop culture seems to be eating itself alive. It ends up belittling everybody."— Ethan Hawke. [NY Post]
• "When I was very young, I used to see books as the thing keeping everyone from playing with me. So there'd be long stretches in the afternoons when everyone was off in their reading corners, sprawled on couches. And I would go up to them and do this little dance to try and break their concentration, which of course they never did: ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' And of course, now I dream of having long stretches when I'll be able to read a book." — Olivia Wilde, on being the child of writers. [New York Magazine]
• "My mother was a major fashion inspiration. Though she often wore simple housecoats with penny loafers - and usually had a Pall Mall Gold in one hand and a small glass of Scotch in the other, with an empty Hellmann's mayonnaise jar full of ice water nearby to use as a chaser - she could dress up fabulous when she wanted to. In her wedding photographs she wore a perfectly tailored navy blue coat with an off-white lining that had big, hand-painted navy blue flowers. She paired it all with navy pumps and a pillbox hat with an ivory veil. My mother certainly knew how to make an impression when she wanted to, both in the way she dressed and the way she acted. I definitely inherited those strengths from her." — America's Next Top Model's Miss J, in his new book. Do click and see the lovely vintage photo of his mother. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm like, let me get through the taping of Top Model cycle 3,413… Then I'll move to phase two, but I'm thinking about a perfume for tweens." — Miss J, on what he plans to do next. [NY Daily News]

• In an interview with The Insider that airs tomorrow, Hailey Glassman says her boyfriend Jon Gosselin will "take his anger out on me... He has 'mantrums.' I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused."

• "...I cry and say, 'Why are you so mean to me?'" Hailey says people have been criticizing her since she started dating Jon and "I get threats everyday. I get called a home wrecker and a fat whore. People will stare or point. It gets worse everyday." Yet, she still doesn't want to leave him. "I don't want to leave him all alone," she says. "At the end of the day, I love him but I dislike him at times. When I love someone I would never hurt them." There's a tear-filled preview here. [People, The Insider]
• Jon Gosselin's former nanny/lover Stephanie Santoro says she saw Jon smoking pot when the kids were in the house. "He said they were in bed and that he was out back smoking when we got there," says Santoro. "It was just Jon there that night with the kids…[Jon said], ‘That wore off quick – but it was just seeds…My good stuff is in New York." [Perez Hilton]
• On The Ellen DeGeneres Show Ellen asked Kate Gosselin about dating again and she said, "I'm not thinking about it, but the thought has crossed my mind at some point [that] it's going to be scrutinized... Let's not talk about it." [People]
• Jon Gosselin's rep denied In Touch's claim that a Jon Gosselin-Nadya Suleman reality show is in the works, but a rep for the reality show insists, "We've been developing this show for months." He says Jon is only denying it because, "After someone brings it to the media, it just freaks people out, but we're not BS-ing. This is going to end up on a network. We're talking to all four of them...Fox, ABC, NBC and CBS." The source says the show would start off as a one-time special and "We're even talking about scheduling it around the Superbowl. We think it could be that big. We think it could be American Idol-type" big. [E!]
• Katie Couric is dressing as Aaden Gosselin for Halloween. "I met Kate and she seems very nice," Couric said, "and I told her I was gonna be Aaden, and she said, 'You have to make sure you wear the glasses at the end of your nose.'" [Extra]
• Jessica Simpson just can't catch a break. Now PETA is giving her "whale-sized grrrs" for performing at Sea World. [U.S. News]
• Ed Meyer, who is producing a mockumentary called How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story, says he intends to sell home videofootage of Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa. [The Wrap]
• The LAPD has handed over the "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" case to the District Attorney, who said he'd file charges against Courtney Ames, Nick Prugo, Diana Tamayo, Roy Lopez Jr. and Alexis Taylor later today. [TMZ]
• Add Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green to the list of celebrities robbed by the "Burglar Bunch." Green's gun and some of Fox's t-shirts were stolen from his home recently, but he didn't realize there had been a break in because he was out of town shooting a movie. [TMZ]
• This Is It has already earned $2.2 million from late-night screenings, which distributor Sony calls "unprecedented" for a Tuesday in October. [AP]
• According to Dr. Arnold Klein's medical records he injected Michael Jackson with an intra-muscular drug labeled "I.M. Injection" 51 times in three months. An L.A. dermatologist says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for Demerol. [TMZ]
• A medical board investigator testified today that Dr. Sandeep Kapoor kept a stash of Anna Nicole Smith's medical records hidden in his kitchen and on the floor of a closet at his home. The files had notes like, "opioid dependence on methadone" and "benzo addicted? To avoid" that were not included in her official medical records at his office. [AP]
• The People cover featuring Nicole Richie and her new baby was one of the mag's worst-selling issues. Just over a million magazines were sold, compared to People's usual average of 1.4 million a week. She was reportedly paid in the "mid-six figures" for the photos. [N.Y. Post]
• Bob Barker donated $1 million to Drury University to establish a professorship on animal rights that he hopes will lead to a full undergraduate degree program. [AP]
• Check out Adam Lambert's new album cover here: [Buzzfeed]
• Lisa Kudrow will guest star on Cougar Town as a "mean" dermatologist who treats Courteney Cox's character. [N.Y. Post]
• Kanye West and animator/cartoonist Bill Plympton are releasing a book called Through the Wire: The Words and Lyrics of Kanye West next month, which includes illustrated versions of 14 of Kanye's lyrics along with commentary "that gives insight into the man that we know." [Publishers Weekly]
• Jim Weatherly, the man who wrote "Midnight Train to Georgia," sings the original version. [Extra]
• Abigail Breslin will star as Helen Keller in a Broadway revival of The Miracle Worker with Alison Pill playing Annie Sullivan beginning in February. [N.Y.T.]
• Hayden Christensen and his brother Tove have filed a lawsuit against producer Philippe Martinez, who claimed to have secured $250 million for the production and distribution of independent films. They had entered into an agreement with Martinez to give him first-look rights to film projects from Hayden's Forrest Park Pictures. [The Wrap]
• Stephanie Pratt was formally charged with suspicion of DUI today. She was arrested two weeks ago after two breathalyzer tests registered .08 and .09. If convicted she could face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. [TMZ]
• According to The National Enquirer, Josh Duhamel has been cheating on Fergie. He's having an affair with a "buxom, blonde stripper" named Nicole Forrester who claims their fling started when Josh introduced himself as "JD" and said he was in town making a porno movie. [National Enquirer]
• When asked if she and Taylor Lautner are dating, Taylor Swift said, "I don't know, he's an amazing guy and we're really close … and ah … yep... We're in a movie together and I am really excited about seeing it." [People]
• Denise Jonas says her son Kevin Jonas is marrying "the right girl." She says she's very similar to his fiancée Danielle Deleasa and she teases Kevin, "You're marrying your mother – but she is just thinner and prettier." [People]
• The recession is hitting everyone hard. 50 Cent says, "I buy diamonds on a very regular basis, but now I am selling my old stuff before I get something new. These are times when you learn about the value of money." [The Telegraph]

[New York, October 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Kanye West new life of humility isn't off to a good start. Over the weekend at Common's benefit show in Hollywood he threw a fit when he wasn't offered food backstage and saw another man eating chicken.

• Kanye shouted, "Why wasn't I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating... why am I not eating?" When his chicken was delivered he took one bite and threw the rest in the trash. [Vibe]
• Lady Gaga says of Kanye West's incident at the VMAs, "He's a good guy and everybody makes mistakes, and he feels so fucking bad. He really does... Everyone likes to focus on gossip, but he's changed music and he's really prolific and an incredible person, and I think it's unfair to judge somebody on one mistake they've made. That moment really portrayed him in a way that he really isn't. It was just a random moment." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin went to the Stars, Stripes, & Skates charity ice skating event in Connecticut and her TLC crew freaked out when they realized Jill Zarin and Luann DeLesseps were also there filming RHONY for Bravo. Kate wasn't allowed to get in Bravo's shot and when Jill Zarin tried to introduce herself when the cameras weren't rolling, "It completely threw her off guard and Steve [Neild] stepped in between them, attempting to keep them apart." Later one of her other bodyguards blocked Nikki Blonsky, who was hosting the event, from getting on stage. [E!]
• Dennis Hopper was rushed to a hospital in New York earlier today. He arrived in an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask. [Ok]
• Roman Polanski is surviving on only five Swiss francs (about $5) a day in prison. He is allowed to spend them money on phone calls. He also has a cable television in his cell. Like other prisoners, he's allowed to earn more money by making cardboard boxes or envelopes. [Times of London]
• John Travolta testified again today in the Bahamian extortion trial, explaining that his employee Ronald Zupancic initially told him about the plot to release a document to "imply that the death of my son was intentional and I was culpable in some way." He says he never spoke to any of the defendants and all their demands were made through his lawyer. [TMZ]
• This is disturbing on so many levels: Spencer Pratt says he's refusing to have sex with wife Heidi Montag because he's afraid she'll go off her birth control without telling him. "I'm not even kidding, my wife – OK, I'm gonna get crass here – but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," he says. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts." [People]
• A judge has granted Audrina Patridge's request for a 3-year restraining order against Zachory Loring, whoc she claims is stalking her. The judge said the evidence against him was "quite disturbing" after Audrina read a creepy poem he's sent her. [TMZ]
• While leaving court Audrina said, "I feel safe now." [TMZ]
• Temple Hill Entertainment has acquired the rights to turn Lauren Conrad's book L.A. Candy into a movie. [Variety]
• Jason Wahler has been jailed in Seattle for assault and a minor drinking charge. A court official said, "He will serve 120 days in jail but could get out after 80 days for good behavior." [Radar Online]
• TMZ has obtained a recording of the walkie-talkie chatter among E! producers at Khloe Kardashian's wedding which reveals the whole things was elaborately staged, including the moment Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considers him her "real dad." [TMZ]
• Matt LeBlanc will star in a new show called Episodes as a satirical version of himself. The show will be jointly produced by the BBC and Showtime and is about a British couple whose hit comedy is reworked into an American show starring LeBlanc. He said he's glad he got the role because, "seeing someone else play Matt LeBlanc would have been devastating." [N.Y. Times]
• Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox were on stage at the Rock a Little Reed a Lot benefit concert for Feeding America on Tuesday when the audience began demanding she sing "Smelly Cat." Cox said, "Get her a guitar, people," and she performed the song. [People]
• Chynna Phillips is relaunching her music career as a member of the contemporary Christian duo Chynna and Vaughan. Her album launched on September 22, the day before her sister Mackenzie Phillips went on The Oprah Winfrey Show to reveal her incestuous relationship with their father. [People]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck will return to The View on October 19. [AP]
• For those concerned, when All My Children moves from New York to Los Angeles they will not lose Erica Kane. Though Susan Lucci says her life is in New York, she'll move to L.A. to stay with the show. [AP]
• Wu-Tang Clan's RZA is appealing a lawsuit brought by Ghostface Killah disputing his 50% share of the group's royalties. It was reported last week that Ghostface Killah had been awarded $158,000 but RZA says, "The judgment has not been entered yet, and we are appealing the case. I'm not appealing because I don't want to pay Ghost something that I owe him. Anything I owe him I would give him ... But he's with a group of people who to me have a misunderstanding of hip-hop and contracts." [The Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley is countersuing her former nanny who has accused her of forcing her to work without overtime because she says she broke her contract by posting pictures of Presley's twins on Facebook. [TMZ]
• Emmanuelle Béart says even though appearing in Mission: Impossible opened a lot of doors in Hollywood she decided to stick to return to France and stick to art films because: "'I was young. I wasn't ready. I had just had a baby and even though I liked the director, and Tom [Cruise] was very professional, I couldn't bear it. All the press junkets and the interviews… I came home to Paris and I never really wanted to go back." She says she regrets it, "In a way. But I am 46 now. It's not what I am about to do." [The Telegraph]
• Ricky Gervais says of people insulting him, "I love it and I don't know if that's because I've got no ego at all or such a big ego that nothing can hurt me. Someone insulting me makes me laugh." [The Mirror]
• Jon Hamm was spotted buying Mad Men DVDs in a Boston Borders. When approached by a fan he said, "You've got me in a dork moment,"and explained he was buying them as gifts. [ONTD]

Christina Applegate: Sleek, basic, body-conscious black. Safe? Sure. But also classy.

I'm not a huge fan of Isla Fisher's pleated leather skirt, but she looks comfortable and cool.

Remember when Katharine McPhee was a brunette who wore pretty dresses? Now she's a blonde in liquid leggings. Downgrade.

More liquid leggings… But since Jillian Michaels looks prepared to kick my ass, I'll shut up.

Not sure about the vest, but I love Sheryl Crow's punky plaid pants.

Alanis Morissette's basic black stays interesting with a drapey neckline.

I'm probably one of the few fools who actually watched the Disney Channel original movie Gotta Kick It Up!, in which Camille Guaty starred — it's about Latina teens on a dance squad, and I do not recommend it. But call me crazy: I think wearing a tiger tee to a rock event is okay.

Marcia Cross looks dramatic in black, what with the flawless, pale skin and fiery hair, but the neckbow on that top is a No.

I like Courteney Cox's easy purple shift dress, but someone should have told her that when she puts her hands in her pockets it looks like she's about to announce an Unsolicited Uterus Update.

Jenna Dewan, aka Nora in Step Up, aka Mrs. Channing Tatum, chose regular leggings over liquid leggings and a tunic made from birthday present gift wrap.

Dear Lance Bass: It appears that your jacket does not fit, and you're trying to fake it by wearing it open, with the sleeves pushed up. I know this trick, because I have done it before. That is all.

Jimmy Jean-Louis is a Haitian actor known for his character — creatively called "The Haitian" — on Heroes. He is also very handsome, very dapper, and, sadly, overdressed for this event. Or maybe everyone else is underdressed? Don't change a thing, Mr. Jean-Louis. We love you just the way you are.

Lisa Kudrow has made some bad choices. Namely: That jacket with that T-shirt, those pants and those shoes.

[Images via Getty.]

First Kimmel said he wasn't sure if "cougar" was a compliment or an insult. And Courteney agreed. But… Your show is called Cougar Town! Next, she claimed that used to think that "cougars" were women who'd had a lot of plastic surgery, trying to look young, to go out with younger guys… But now she's changed her mind, because she is a cougar. Wait, why is she a cougar? Does this mean she did or didn't have plastic surgery? Or is she a cougar because she's 45 and David Arquette is 38? Right. Okay.

Next, she had some kind of talking point about women reaching their sexual peak in their early 40s. Kimmel questioned the veracity of that theory, and Courteney backed down. But she did say: "I think the whole cougar thing — I'm glad it's come around." Plus: "I think what happens is as women get older — they want to become more sexual, so they're trying so hard to stay young that… probably they're pretending." Yeah, that's it. Older women are just pretending to be sexual... kind of like Courteney is pretending Cougar Town was a good idea.

Earlier: No One Harmed At Cougar Convention
5 Reasons Why Courteney Cox's Cougar Town Looks Awful

In tonight's premiere, Cox plays Jules, a recently-divorced Florida real estate agent who lives with her teenage son Travis (Dan Byrd). Jules criticizes her recently separated neighbor Grayson (Josh Hopkins) for hooking up with an endless parade of younger women and he bets her that she couldn't get a younger guy to go home with her. After discussing her sex life (or lack thereof) with her best friend, Ellie (Christa Miller), her trashy assistant Laurie (Busy Philipps), and most disturbingly, Travis, she takes her neighbor's advice to "go for it" and brings home a guy who isn't much older than her son.

Cougar Town was created by the same people behind Scrubs, Bill Lawrence and Kevin Biegel, but Cougar Town lacks the charm of their previous effort. Most critics say the problem with the show isn't Courteney Cox's acting, but the fact that she's forced to deliver absurd lines like, "I was 19, I started thinking with my coochie-cooch, and then, bam, I had a kid,'' and is too hot to be a cougar. Reviewers note that even though some women in Hollywood have adopted "cougar" as a positive term, (according to critics) there's still something desperate about a woman dating a younger man. They argue that Courteney Cox just doesn't fit in the role: She's still attractive, and thus bears no resemblance to real women over 40. We've already gone over the five reasons we think Cougar Town looks awful, and below, we take a look at what the pop culture pundits are saying.

USA Today

Your first thought is that Cox is too gorgeous to have such concerns, but from her opening scene (as she's unhappily studying her bare body in the mirror), Cox is not only convincing but touching - and unfailingly funny. Her insecurities seem as natural and ingrained as her loving if sometimes tortured relationship with her teenage son, wonderfully played by Dan Byrd of Aliens in America...There's a fragility to Cox that in the wrong show can come across as brittle, but is used here to increase her vulnerability and appeal.

The New York Times

The dialogue, timing and jokes have the madcap pace and anarchic spirit of Scrubs, and it takes a while for Ms. Cox to recalibrate her Monica persona from Friends. To her credit, Ms. Cox is game for anything, and the humor is raunchy and Seth Rogenish. But in the pilot she tends to overact, flattening arch slapstick and sharp-edged dialogue with clownish overkill. It also takes awhile to accept this actress as a lonely divorcee sidelined by middle age. Ms. Cox is supposed to be a 40-year-old Everywoman who is appalled by what society - and the Florida man shortage - has done to her cohort. "I know I'm one of them," Jules says to Laurie as the camera pans Botoxed matrons in leather and low-cut leopard-print bustiers. "I just don't feel like one of them." Ms. Cox's face is so tight and unlined, and her figure so taut, that it's hard to really see the distinction. But as the pilot gets funnier, so does Jules. She is of course the butt of most of the jokes, but she is doughty and not without a sense of humor..."

Hollywood Reporter

The recently divorced Jules, who goes completely mental one morning after noting a few elbow wrinkles and tummy jiggles — is shrill, unappealing (except for the whole looking like Courteney Cox thing), self-obsessed and has no filter between what she thinks and what she says. Things she says: "All the single guys our age are broken, gay or chasing younger girls." And, "I started thinking with my coochie cooch." And don't forget the discussion with her teenage son, Travis, about penis-holding. At least the boy has the grace to be mortified by his mother's sudden need to find the G-spot. To sum up: This is a one-note premise, with a lead character no one could want to spend five minutes with, based on a passing fad.

The Los Angeles Times

This is a real show whose main conceit is that having sex with a younger man is fun and exciting for women over 40. Crude stuff for a family newspaper, but despite the warm-and-fuzzy-celebrity cred that star Courteney Cox brings to it, some funny lines and good acting all around, Cougar Town is a crude show, built on jokes about oral sex and droopy breasts, a show in which words like "coochie" are used with regrettable abandon... Clearly, creators Bill Lawrence and Kevin Biegel (both previously of Scrubs) are trying to take on some legitimate issues, and no doubt there is pathos and insight to be gleaned from a divorced woman staring down her mid-40s as her child prepares to leave the nest, wondering if this is as good as it is ever going to get. But that is no excuse, and I mean whatsoever, for having that woman look at a shirtless young man and say, "I want to lick him."

Travis (Dan Byrd of Aliens in America) is Jules' teenage son, whose actual adolescence is being preempted by his mother's second go-round. Jules seems to take pride in her lack of boundaries, giving their relationship an ick factor that even Byrd's quietly hilarious performance cannot overcome. He does his very best, though, stealing every scene he's in. "Why don't you laugh at my jokes?" his mother asks after she cracks one about the fact that, in an attempt to prove her attractiveness, she flashed a neighbor kid. "Because they make me sad," Travis says, giving voice to us all.

New York Daily News

Jules also chats about her sex life with her teenage son, Travis, which may be the truest indication of what a shallow humor pool the show is drawing from. And that's even before Travis walks in one evening to discover his mother has not only snagged a kid who isn't much older than he is, but who is performing a sex act on that fellow in the living room. Now we all know sitcoms face an ever-tougher challenge to offer a sex scene that hasn't been done by, say, Two And A Half Men." But a whole lot of viewers, if they wanted this kind of humor, would simply have gone to Spike in the first place. It's a waste of Cox's comic talents to have her spend the whole show trapped in lines like, "We had sex three times without you needing a nap or a pill or anything."

The Boston Globe

Cox is a funny TV presence with self-deprecating charm, but she's not an everywoman, and she's certainly not a stand-in for a population of women that is experiencing the aging process in real time. And so a show that's meant to be a meditation on gender, age, and insecurity is, instead, a vehicle for marveling at the amazing sculpting power of the Hollywood workout routine.... As a pop culture concept, [cougars are] already feeling stale. Besides, it's unclear that Jules even fits in the category; the lustful older women mocked in American Pie and on Saturday Night Live are well into their 40s and beyond, but by my math, Jules is in her mid-30s. I know this because she tells a potential date in a bar that "I was 19, I started thinking with my coochie-cooch, and then, bam, I had a kid.'' There's plenty of dialogue like that in tonight's premiere, and while it's meant to represent women talking frankly about sex, it comes off as women talking awkwardly about anatomy. When Jules stops her car short in one scene, Busy Philipps, as her younger, hard-partying co-worker, shouts, "Give a girl a warning. My uterus almost shot out!''

The Chicago Tribune

Cougar Town creator Bill Lawrence got a lot right about male friendship in his most notable creation, Scrubs, but this sitcom doesn't really capture much that feels true about female friendships. Women on this show tend to shout at each other, browbeat each other or simply announce, "Wow, you look like a whore." All of that claws-out humor is of a piece with the show's vaguely hostile attitude toward its female characters and their middle-aged dilemmas.

Newsday

We can all perhaps agree that Cox is a good actress. She was good in Scrubs, good in Dirt, good in Ace Ventura, good in Scream - and Friends without Monica Geller would be just about unthinkable. So why, then, is Cougar Town such a painful belly flop? Easy answer: The glaring mismatch between material and starring actress. As the woebegone divorcee with an antic streak and a full-blown need to get down, Cox is not believable. In the opening scene, attempting to forge a winking comradeship with millions of other 40-year-old women in the viewing audience, she pinches rolls of fat, flops bat wings and compares herself to a farm animal. Then, a couple of scenes later, those viewers get a full-body view, and there's not a fat molecule out of place. Cougar Town will get a big number Wednesday, but do not be fooled. It doesn't deserve one.

Cougar Town premieres tonight on ABC at 9:30, Eastern and Pacific times; 8:30, Central time.

Earlier: 5 Reasons Why Courteney Cox's Cougar Town Looks Awful

Based totally on my personal experience, I can see a Courtney being the kind of girl who makes the teacher's life hell by constantly talking, laughing, texting, and gum-chewing during class. She's not the class clown — that would be beneath her — instead, she's that girl who thinks she's too cool to pay attention. And who maybe feels kind of bad for the teacher because she has ugly shoes and is, like, teaching junior high school. She's the girl who's way cooler than you in eighth grade and who, if you ever actually become a teacher yourself, you totally dread.

While I'm sure the world abounds with humble, down-to-earth Courtneys, the Courtneys I have known have generally been princessy, popular, and blonde. The name doesn't say "bitch" to me exactly — Courtney's not the type to, say, fill your locker with tampons. She's the type to laugh when they all fall out, then go back to forgetting you exist. My friend from elementary school had a My Little Pony named Courtney, and it was the one nobody was allowed to touch.

Somebody once told me Courtney meant "of the court," as in royalty — but Anna H. thinks of Courtney as a "country-club name," so "of the tennis court" might be more appropriate. Wikipedia, however, thinks Courtney means either "from places called Courtenay in the regions of Loiret and Gatinais," or, more entertainingly, "snub-nosed." The name peaked in popularity in the 1990s and has since fallen off to #269 in the US.

As is often (shockingly) the case, the lives of famous Courtneys don't seem to bear out my personal biases about the name. Courteney Cox (note the extra e) basically seems like a nice person — she's been so helpful to poor lonely Jennifer Aniston, after all. And Courtney Love is a lot of things, but stuck-up isn't one of them. She's not the girl stuffing the tampons in your locker or the girl laughing — she's the one scrawling "BITCH" on her own locker and then incoherently tweeting about it. Interestingly, both famous Court(e)neys were born in 1964, well before the name hit its height.

I'm sure you guys know (or are) some nice Courtneys — but feel free to supplement my prejudices with stories of Courtneys who snubbed you in the cafeteria as well. It's never too late to relive the miseries of junior high, or to project those miseries onto otherwise innocent girls and women.

Courtney [Wikipedia]
Olivia And Jack Are Most Popular Baby Names [Guardian]

Earlier: B is for Beth (And Barack! And Bandana!)

• Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." [News.com.au]

• Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
• Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
• Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
• Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
• An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
• Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
• We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
• Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
• Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
• Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
• "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
• Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
• All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
• Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
• "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
• "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really ...it's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
• "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
• "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
• "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

[Los Angeles, September 2. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, August 18. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, July 29. Image via INF]

• Though Jon Gosselin's rumored new girlfriend, Kate Major, left her job at Star due to "falling for" the father of Plus 8, Gosselin says his "heart is always with Hailey," meaning his other rumored girlfriend, Hailey Glassman. Ouch! [USWeekly]

• Michael Lohan, super dad, has taken it upon himself to become Jon Gosselin's spokesperson of sorts, telling People magazine that Jon "would love to be friends" with his ex, Kate Gosselin. "They had eight kids and he would like to work things out the right way and just be friends," Lohan says. [People]
• A source claims that Janet Jackson has become a mother figure for Michael's three children: "She's the one they're turning to now. Janet has totally bonded with the kids since their father's death.They fly into her arms when she enters the house and would spend all day every day hanging out with her if they could." [DailyExpress]
• Omar Bhatti, the man rumored as Michael Jackson's son, says "Michael is not my father. He and I were just very, very close. He was my best friend." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Lopez will not be replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol, so you can all stop worrying about 8000 white lilies having to be delivered to the AI dressing rooms before every episode. [People]
• Meanwhile, Simon Cowell has signed Kate Moss to be a judge on an upcoming battle-of-the-bands reality show. [Mirror]
• "I owned a 1972 Plymouth Valiant that we bought for $125. It was infested with cockroaches and geckos. It was its own little ecosystem,"- Aaron Eckhart [PageSix]
• Boy George says that being in prison made him realize how lucky he is and how he discovered he has people to rely on: "Elton offered me love and support from both himself and David [Furnish]. He also sent me a lovely music player. Stephen Fry, Matt Lucas, Antony Hegarty and Holly Johnson wrote to me too. The only time I got emotional in prison was when I got letters from friends. People that beforehand I wouldn't have thought I could rely on. It was really humbling. I did have a falling out with Elton a few years ago because I was being a bitch [George called him "a humourless grand old dame"] but we made up and we're really good friends again." [DailyExpress]
• Courteney Cox sat down with friend David Fincher in order to get some advice on directing: "I would love to direct more, it's perfect for my personality. I just like doing it, I think it's great," Cox says, "I actually went to dinner with him (Fincher) and I said, 'David I need help', and we sat down and he gave me four hours of his time. He gave me some guidelines and thoughts and it really helped." [DailyExpress]
• Victoria Beckham has "unveiled" a new hairstyle, which looks to be a bun with a headband stuck in it. [DailyMail]
• Beckham also "refuses" to leave Los Angeles, as she feels she has more privacy in America than in Europe: "She's never been happier and loves living in LA. What's very important to her is that she gets her privacy," says a source, "She wouldn't get that anywhere in Europe. Victoria's priority is her children. She's building a life for them in America - and a very happy one." [ShowbizSpy]
• Orlando Bloom won't be suiting up for the next Pirates of the Caribbean film: "Orlando loved the films but thinks it's time to bow out because they tied up nicely for his character Will Turner," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Is Paris Hilton dating Little Britain star David Walliams? "They have been friends for a while and met up a lot secretly when Paris was filming her TV show in London. They have always been very flirty and Paris loves how outrageously funny David can be on nights out. She's won over by his sophistication," a source says, "They've been speaking on the phone a lot and have so much in common. There's a real chemistry between them. They natter about everything and she likes the fact he doesn't treat her like a bimbo." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Blind Item:"There is a husband who is a C list movie actor. Honestly, he may even be a D, but he has B list name recognition and is married to a permanent B list television actress with A list name recognition. Well, it turns out they like to get their freak on with this other couple. Yes, exactly like it sounds. They swap. The other couple consists of a guy who is definitely D list and does primarily movies now. As for his name recognition? Not that great. His girlfriend on the other hand is a B list movie and television actress not exactly known for being super friendly even to her boyfriend. She had a very short term boyfriend prior to the D lister but he wasn't up for the game so she dumped him and went with the D lister she could control. This foursome has been kept quiet for about a year, but the D lister has started telling a few people who have told more and it isn't so hush hush anymore." [BlindGossip]
• Angie Everhart gave birth to a baby boy, Kayden, on Friday. [E!]
• Oh, snap: Candy Spelling has taken her family feud to TMZ, writing a letter to "middle-aged reality show stars (like my daughter)" which includes lines like this: "A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show." Donna Martin and the fam: keepin' it classy. [TMZ]

[Image via INFDaily.]

• Is Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox's friendship in trouble? A source says:

"It seems like Courteney and Jen's close friendship has chilled in recent months, and it comes down to their lifestyles not gelling anymore. Jen is almost a workaholic who spends her free time dating and hunting for Mr. Right, while Courteney is happily married and busy juggling work and motherhood." [MSNBC Scoop via National Enquirer]

• Oh, God. Real Housewives' Bethenny Frankel has landed her own show, Skinny & The City. Viewers will get to see her planning her wedding to fiancé Jason Hoppy, and, presumably, learn all about her "naturally thin" recipes. [Page Six]
• LAPD were called to Mischa Barton's home in West Hollywood at 3pm yesterday to assist with a "medical issue." She was escorted from her apartment to an unknown location. Mystery abounds. [Daily Mail]
• Oh wait: Mystery solved. Mischa Barton was taken to the hospital due to complications from oral surgery. Apparently she was in too much pain to drive and asked to be take by police, hoping the paparazzi would leave her alone. She'd previously had impacted teeth that had to be removed from her jaw bones. [ONTD via RPulse]
• Mariah Carey will shill sing her new single, "Obsessed," on America's Got Talent. [UPI]
• Amy Winehouse was granted a "quickie" divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil today, on the grounds of her adultery. [Mirror, AP, Mirror]
• How is Jessica Simpson since boyfriend Tony Romo broke up with her a day before her birthday? A source says she "was really blindsided" and is "sad, mad, and confused." [People]
• Lauren Conrad wore a brunette wig for a Harper's Bazaar photo shoot and "day-long experiment." She says: "I went into a wig store and tried on a brown wig, and they all laughed at me. All these women [who worked there] were like, 'You look like Hannah Montana.' Day to day, I can only do blonde. Everything else makes me look sort of plain-Jane." [People]
• By the by, Lauren Conrad is on the cover of Shape looking a wee Photoshoppy. [Perez]
• Paris Hilton has a new driver's license photo — after posing at the DMV five times. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian was detained at customs in Johannesburg, South Africa, when she couldn't find her passport. She claimed that she'd left it on the plane, but officials wouldn't let her look for it. Boyfriend Reggie Bush talked someone into letting him back on the plane, where he found the passport, and all is well. Kim Reggie and Khloe had been in Botswana visiting a diamond mine in league with the Russell Simmons Diamond Empowerment Fund, FYI. [E!]
• Someone broke into Orlando Bloom's home in L.A. and stole some "personal effects." Oh, no, not the Legolas wig! Anything but that. [People]
• Lovely photographs of Richard Gere and Carey Lowell's bed and breakfast in Bedford, New York. Gere says, "We're pretty open to just letting it flow and go where it wants to." [W]
• LL Cool J had one of those travel days from hell: First his flight from L.A. to St. Louis had to make an emergency landing in Kansas City, after passengers smelled smoke. Then, once the plane landed, one of the passengers was so sick everyone had to be quarantined for 3 hours. LL ended up ordering a car service. [TMZ]
• Q: What do you think has been Harry's greatest misstep or failure in judgment? - Susan Bevins, Winter Park, Fla. A: "Susan Bevins, you have asked a question no journalist has ever asked me. I think the way he treated his friends a couple of films ago was quite questionable. They're always there for him, and he was a little bit ungrateful. I think Harry is a flawed character. He can be quite selfish and really manipulative. He's not all sweetness and light." — From "10 Questions For Daniel Radcliffe." [Time]
• Check out the cover art of Whitney's Houston's new album: She looks regal, and not at all like someone who would say "crack is cheap." [NY Daily News]
• The good news is: Michael Jackson record sales continue to soar. [NY Times]
• The bad news is: A veteran prosecutor resigned from the L.A. district attorney's office after her supervisors found out that she talked about the Michael Jackson case on Larry King Live. [LA Times]
• Meanwhile, the DEA has contacted the manufacturer of Propofol, which is thought to be the cause of Michael Jackson's death. They're going through records and vial numbers to match the drug with doctors who have a connection to MJ. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson's death has the FDA considering labeling Propofol a 'controlled substance.'" [NY Daily News]
• Dr. Conrad Murray's lawyer would not confirm or deny whether his client administered Propofol to Michael Jackson the day he died. [TMZ]
• Rumors that Janet Jackson wants Michael Jackson's kids persist. "Janet is not only willing to raise those children, she is also the only relative who knows how to protect them," says a source. [MSNBC Scoop via Ok!]
• A guitarist who worked with Michael Jackson hours before his death says: "It still hasn't sunk in that he has actually passed, we're still in shock. What you see on the footage is what he was like to us. That was what was so shocking for all of us. We saw him dancing and singing and interacting and joking, having a great time, so excited. He wasn't sitting in a chair coughing and looking sickly. To be with him on the night before (he died) was hard." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson was in negotiations to purchase an assortment of celebrity nude photographs before he died — people like Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield and Bonnie Parker, of Bonnie-and-Clyde fame. [Yahoo via E!]
• Joe Jackson's business partner in his new record label served 366 days in federal prison in 2001 — for conspiracy to commit extortion. Bad news. [TMZ]
• Tito Jackson says Michael Jackson is the biological father of all of his kids: "They are all his children. Blanket is Michael's, I can tell. Those eyes don't lie. Them eyes are Michael over again. I see a lot of Michael in him." Um, okay. [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue got separated from her boyfriend in a bar on Tuesday night, so, when she found him, he slapped him in the face with a fan. [Page Six]
• "Steven Spielberg is on the verge of completing an $825m financing for his new film venture, nine months after he began looking for capital in the worst funding market in Hollywood's recent history." [Financial Times]
• Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher lived out a 007 fantasy by vacationing at the Ocean Club resort in Barbados, where Casino Royale was shot. Ashton requested to be picked up from the airport in a silver Aston Martin! [Daily Express]
• Want Bob Dylan/Jimmy Carter gossip? Click the link. [Page Six]
• Rapper Common is being sued for sampling someone else's song, even though he doesn't deny that he sampled the work and credits the sample on the track listing. [ONTD via Hip Hop DX]
• Griffin O'Neal claims his estranged father Ryan O'Neal had an affair with Alana Stewart as Farrah Fawcett was dying. [Daily Express]
• Cheryl Tiegs and significant other Dan Buettner: Broken up. [Star-Tribune]
• Brittny Gastineau says that in her scene in Brüno — in which she says "abort the baby," she was joking around. "I was spoofing myself. When I got there, I saw him, and I obviously knew it was him. I was like, 'Oh, this is funny. This is a joke.' I just went along with it." [Us Magazine]
• A theater in Ireland has left a recorded message about Brüno on its ticket hotline, which says: "Bruno is particularly vile. It leads to a hell of a lot of complaints. It will offend every prejudice in the book, believe me, so don't come on after and tell us how horrible it was. One or two have enjoyed it, though." A spokesman for the theater says, "We often leave jokey messages." [Telegraph]
• Whatshisname thinks Whatshername has sold out by doing a tell-all interview. [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname says living in the public eye can be a mistake. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which now-married (but then-engaged) starlet hooked up with her geeky dreamboat of a co-star on the set of their film? Wisely, they frolicked in a soundproof room." [Gatecrasher]
• "It's a funny thing because what I've found is some of the wealthiest, most powerful people in the country are watching this show. I think it's because there is an underlying smartness that a lot of people don't get that relates to how most successful people rose to the top. You need that group around you; you need a couple of breaks and good fortune. That's what we try to tap into. To have Obama say he watches and gets it — well, he's got that same crowd around him, and it was an amazing thing to hear. Hopefully, it'll keep us on — at least through next year." — Doug Ellin, creator of Entourage. [Reuters]
• "It's almost career suicide to take a break and just not release music like I did. But to have people still care, I just don't know what to say and how to explain it. I'm just so happy because it validates the music I did in my 20s." — Maxwell, who had huge first-week album sales for chart-topping release Blacksummer's night and whose single, "Pretty Wings," is also number one. [USA Today]
• "I was homely [as a teenager], painfully small, short, with too much blue eye shadow because I thought, it matches my eyes, so why not? Trying desperately to fit in." — Amy Adams. [NY Daily News via Allure]
• "I want to do great movies that are number one at the box office and also independent movies that are dark and miserable. I see myself with a career like Cameron Diaz — she does What Happens in Vegas and then My Sister's Keeper, so I want to do it all!" — Kristin Cavallari, who when asked if she wants to go back to college someday, says: "I'm really happy with what I'm doing. I read a lot of books, you know. So, no. I have no urge to go back to college." [PopWrap]
• "It's wonderful. I grew up around gay people my entire life, basically, that's possibly why I'm quite camp, and some people think I'm gay when I meet them, which I think is awesome. It's always good to keep them guessing. I don't go on any blogs or chats or anything, but my friends are demons for them, and apparently someone said 'Daniel Radcliffe is gay. He's got a gay face!' I really don't know what a gay face is." — Daniel Radcliffe loves people thinking that he is gay. [Telegraph]
• "I'll say American for now. I really have no preference, though. Nationality is nothing. It's all about the girl - but she has to be curvy!" — Daniel Radcliffe, when asked if he likes American or Brit ladies best. [Gatecrasher]
• "Everyone lies online. In fact, readers expect you to lie. If you don't, they'll think you make less than you actually do." — Brad Pitt, on online dating. [Mirror via Wired]
• "My dream role would be to play musical legend Carol Channing in a biopic of her life. I love her, I really do. she's amazing. With all the digital technology available these days, I could probably pull it off!" — Johnny Depp. [Gatecrasher]

[Malibu, July 14. Image via WENN]