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Sun Dec 6
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Mother Sentenced To Three Months In Prison For Attacking Sex Offender |
Fantasy Fulfillment |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
Jezebel 
03/02/09
But what I do know is that, as damaging as it was for me to be raped as a little girl and to live my life knowing that my rapist never spent a day in jail despite the fact that we turned to the system for help, I was eventually able to realize that it wasn't my fault and that I was and am innocent of all wrongdoing.
However, my molestors will never know that peace of mind, and they know, deep down inside, that what they did was morally reprehensible and that those who know what they did - neighbors, family members, etc. - will never be able to look at them without a sense of revulsion and loathing.
I also think it's important to remember that a lot of people who molest children were molested themselves. I don't know what the story was with the guy who raped me when I was four, but the man who molested me? He was my step-grandfather, and I know that he had done this to several other children in the family. I also know that, when he was that age, he was raped and molested by his older brother. It's a reminder that the vast majority of monsters are made, not born, and that something happened that twisted them all up inside. And while we have made great strides in bringing the reality of child sex abuse out into the open, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done to address it in a way that will eventually eep it from happening ever again.
03/01/09
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I expected a bit of that sort of comment, but really, do that many of you feel that way? I'm not from the States, so I wonder if it's a cultural difference. Or maybe it just is an issue that prompts people with that view to comment in higher numbers. But it seems pretty lynch-mob like to me. I think it's wilfully simplistic to say "let's not be overly PC and say we can't form a lynch mob if we feel really strongly that someone is a bad guy".
03/01/09
03/01/09
There are a lot of reasons why I find that pretty shocking. It's well known that stigmatising offenders is more likely to make them reoffend. So it's really not a very productive way of trying to deal with this kind of offending. Also, it's pretty easy to kill someone when you're hitting them on the head with a baseball bat. And I think it's inappropriately "cute" to make comments like that he's over 7 foot tall, so it's ballsy of her to take him on. I think it's also possible to see where she's coming from emotionally, and still think she shouldn't have done it, and she doesn't have a "right" morally or legally to take "justice" into her own hands like that.
03/02/09
03/01/09
i love when people say stuff like that lol...
it was up to her. so...she really could have killed him. that sentence makes fabulously NO sense and people say stuff like this all the time and journalism just spits it back out at us. love- it.
03/01/09
Beating his ass is not justified!
03/01/09
He did nothing that warrants this assault, he has the right to live free from vigilante attacks.
Or are we saying that we have the right to arbitrarily beat up people who did something wrong when they were still a child?
03/01/09
I don't care if the guy was 15 or 30. He molested children. He is a child molester. That's not a mistake like the way a teenager might sneak beer or get suspended from school. He committed a terrible crime that will stay with the victims for the rest of their lives. A
And, really? 15? That's not really a CHILD who doesn't know it's wrong to assault little kids.
03/01/09
03/01/09
For a quick analogy: we have often commented on the ineffectiveness of the police system - like in the stalking threads. When a stalker frightens us with unwanted attention, we are upset that the police cannot act until that man actually kills/rapes/ or threatens to do so. So I think in many cases, the system just has huge gaps.
If I see a convicted sex offender in my neighborhood near MY kids, I will work hard to make that person leave. Maybe I won't break his arm with a bat, but I sure as hell won't ask him politely like some he's gonna do me some personal favor. I cannot be satisfied knowing the police have the guy's current mailing address.
And you should ALWAYS teach your kids to be wary of strangers. But don't think this somehow gives your child a magical unicorn protection shield against kidnappers or whatever. And, why should we see this as our child's responsibility in the first place? It is all about prevention - not giving your child the green light to talk about how he or she was raped after the fact.
And for those people calling her "crazy," you must not have children. If there was any shred of doubt in your mind that a level 3 sex offender -- who was living in your street and talking to your kids for a whole year before you knew about his past -- hurt your child, I'd really like to see how calm and rational you could be.
GAH I'm so mad and I don't know why. Maybe that mother-bear instinct is coming out.
03/01/09
You cannot protect your children when you are in jail.
03/01/09
This has just undermined your attempts to get anyone onside, I'm afraid.
You cannot dictate my liberalism to me, I'm afraid. Your moral codes are not mine. That is simply fact.
03/01/09
It doesn't matter if it is a year ago. IT DOESN'T MATTER! Maybe the reason she remembered him from a whole year ago, was because the guy was fucking sketchy! Then she found out he was a child molester! At this point, she could have organized a rally or made a general public stink about it. Would you still be baffled that "it was a year ago" and thus unreasonable?
I could see this mother, esp with a history of outbursts, stewing and stewing before exploding in violence. She needs some anger therapy, clearly, and I don't think that violence is the right way. But, she took action when the police, parole officers, and children themselves could not ensure her family's safety.
03/01/09
03/01/09
But you said yourself that "maybe you wouldn't break his arm with a bat" -- while you also say that we're spouting trite moralisms about not resorting to violence. This is not a trite moralism: this lady DID resort to violence. She made a plan a year later to drag a baseball bat over to this guy's house and beat him senseless. I don't think Gibson is crazy, but I think she made a bad decision. And yes, it was a decision to go over there with a baseball bat, a year later, when her children weren't in any immediate harm.
I think there are gaps in the system, and the justice system is not as effectual and responsive as it should be, but I don't think that's an excuse for going over to a guy's house a year later with the express purpose of bashing his bones in with a baseball bat.
I don't think anyone here is being unrealistic or smug, and I also don't think anyone is blaming the underage victims. I know that the "mother-bear" instinct is strong, but I seriously don't think it justifies what this lady did.
03/01/09
My point is, this woman is not crazy or ridiculous or a bigger threat to society than the "victim" sex offender. Sure, she has anger issues and acted violently, which should not be condoned in society. However, that emotional impulse to take action and protect her child is understandable (and arguably, necessary).
03/01/09
Calling people's wishes for a more morally reasonable world trite is, at best, condescending.
03/01/09
03/01/09
That's a website that will give you a map of the sex offenders in your area. 590 in my zip code alone. 118 that aren't mappable. What the hell does that even mean?
[criminaljustice.state.ny.us] <--that's for New York State.
There's a guy who lives next door to me who spent 5 years in jail because of child pornography. When I was moving in, he insisted on helping me carry a carload of stuff one evening, when I was too exhausted to say no (even though I actually said no three times, he just wouldn't take no for an answer). He helped me carry stuff up to my porch, and I said thank you good bye, but he wouldn't leave until I opened my door and let me help me carry all my stuff from the porch into my apartment. Seriously, I was uncomfortable the whole time and kept trying to get him to go away, but he wouldn't leave and I didn't want to be too rude, since he was the first person I met in my new neighborhood (which is very neighborhood-y and has block parties and such). I didn't want to be the new bitch who moved into the white house. So I let him carry my stuff upstairs to my apartment, and he lingered for an overly-long time as it got darker outside, and he and I were alone in my apartment for a half hour or so.
A couple weeks later I looked up the sex offenders list and lo and behold! saw his picture. I freaked the fuck out. He lives in my landlord's house, which is (i think--my landlord is a very old, crazy french man) like a boarding house rather than a bunch of apartments. Now every time I see him, I shudder.
03/01/09
Your story sounds A LOT like one talked about in the book.
03/01/09
03/01/09
I have a question about the sex offender registry. When you view each person's offense, is there any way to determine if their conviction was for statutory rape (where maybe a 19 year-old had consensual sex with a 16 year-old) and rape, where the sex was forced/nonconsensual?
The reason I ask is, someone I know got married a while back and, while browsing the sex offender registry (my friend is a social worker and sent me a link to it), I came across her husband listed as a convicted rapist. No one who knows her has ever mentioned this, so I am wondering if they are being discreet or they just don't know. I guess I'd feel better being around him alone if I knew he was convicted of statutory rape instead of rape.
03/01/09
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03/01/09
Just because this man is convicted, he deserves her attacks more? If she didn't know, she wouldn't have done anything. Sadly, her child could easily have been at just as much risk.
Her knowledge of his past is her only supposed justification. I don't like the notion of a world where no one is trustworthy, but honestly... you can't know everyone's past or darkest secrets.
03/01/09
1) Breathe a sigh of relief that my child is safe and give her an extra-big hug.
2) Breathe a sigh of relief, give my child a hug, and tell her to stay away from Such-and-Such Neighbor, because he's a bad person and he shouldn't be talking to her ever again, and to come right inside and tell me if he tries to approach her.
3) Go over to his house and knock him senseless with a baseball bat a year after he tried to talk to my kid.
#3 is totally the sanest option, right? Right?
03/01/09
03/01/09
I just know that if I found out that someone in my neighborhood was a convicted pedophile and waited a year to tell the neighborhood, I would probably be rageful and crazy-angry-scared too. It wasn't a year of her waiting around to attack him, it was a year of him living there unknown, by neighbors and authorities, and then she found out and probably flipped out while she was reading the flier or whatever.
03/01/09
I just still think the lady was way out of line.
03/01/09
I feel awkward judging her for beating the guy up since I got my licks in on a guy who was going to try to mug me just a couple of months ago, but going after him with a bat isn't going to solve the problem. Is she going to do this every time her daughter is in that situation? What happens when mom isn't around? And worse yet, what message does this send to her daughter - that anything is OK if you think you and yours might be in some sort of danger?
03/01/09
03/01/09
I've considered myself fortunate to have enough defense training to take care of myself in about any situation, but using that training even if I'm clearly in the right always makes me feel sick.
03/01/09
03/01/09
If it seems, in their heart of hearts, like a sexuality, it is incredibly hard to deal with the shame.
I recall seeing a docu about a man who knew he was predisposed to attraction to a child. He had NEVER committed an assault of any kind, but he knew he was a paedophile. It was fascinating, because of the amount of self control he executed, and how frank and open he was about his attraction to children. He saw his openness as a tool to educate and inform about the problem. I wish I could recall where I saw it.
03/01/09
act outside of what's socially/legally acceptable and things will get uncomfortable for you VERY quickly. it's that simple.
btw - how HOT was Patrick Wilson in that movie??? swooooon!