I guess I'm one of the "idiots" who actually watched the whole 30 minutes and enjoyed it. And will watch it again next week. Nope I don't watch DHW but I did watch the Unusuals and Sam.
As for the sex with husband scene she actually does feel fat which is why she doesn't want to have sex, her friend calling her a whore (she's sitting there in a nighty) is to spur her on. Later on her husband says something to her and she says "is it weird I think you're sexy" or something along that line. So I really didn't get the impression they were making jokes about older people having sex.
As for the neighbor saying she couldn't bag a younger man, he's obviously just trying to get her goat. As someone suggested in a previous post I imagine he will become of particular interest for her.
The show is funny and I'm glad Cox picked up something else so quickly. She does funny well. I never got into Dirt but she really hasn't had much luck with new series after the almighty Friends.
As for the title, it seems appropriate for the show otherwise what would they call it: 40+ woman has sex with younger man? No, I don't think so. I don't like the fact however that there isn't a term for men who date younger women. Someone should come up with something--I'm actually shocked no has by now.
@biggirlblue: There are other options, Mad Men is not called "womanizers who smoke and drink a lot at work", it's called Mad Men.
They could definitely be more creative and less offensive. That said, they probably went for offensive on purpose, because there's no way nobody in production saw that title and said "hey, I think that's a bit offensive"
@lynxwings: Here, here! I think there may be something wrong with me, because I'd actually rather go after the boys my age when I've got some twenty years on them . . .
The second picture makes me think... The whole cougar mythology is about older women being more in control while going after younger men, I thought. So why does it look like that guy is still a huge douche that thinks he's the shit? It looks like he's in charge, and how is that a change in anything, other than he "deigns" to fuck older women?
I dunno I'm starting to get the feeling that men just wanna f**k cats. In the wild. Really. Just go into the jungle and bag a cat. Any cat. It could be a puma, cougar, wild cat, mountain cat or whatever just as long its fury with four legs and a tail. Though I think some men are just lazy and will go to the crazy cat ladies home and still her (sex) kittens. I don't know where I am going with this except that men use the cat metaphor for women a whole lot. Like that song Atomic Dog "Why must I be like that. Why must I chase the cat". Which makes no sense because dogs and cats don't y'know but those are the lyrics. Okay I'm done.
/Today's rant brought to you by anthropomorphism
@Lymed: Sooo true. I totally forgot about that! Batman + Catwoman. See, see more examples of female cat pervesion. I'm glad I have a boy cat because I would be very frightened if I had a girl cat. I'd have to lock her way to protect her.
A main problem I have with the cougar thing is that there's no real equivalent for an older man dating younger women. When older women date younger men, they're labeled as predatory and overwhelmed by animal instincts. But when older men date younger women it passes under the age old "boys will be boys" rule. It just seems to reinforce the prejudice that women are either sensible, or romantically and sexually assertive. Blech.
@redcherryspin: When an older man dates a younger woman, it's still the woman that gets the criticism. "She's a gold-digger! There's no way they could possibly be in love!"
@Skellatrix: Yeah, but I feel like men at least get called out on the assumed mid-life crisis. It's not the same, but it's not like they're all immune.
@Skellatrix: Isn't that interesting? Even if folks aren't calling the younger woman a gold digger, she's at the very least a "trophy wife". Again, no possible way they could actually be in love. She was merely purchased to look hot at his side.
@redcherryspin: Men have been marrying younger women for decades, actually centuries, in western culture. Just pick up a Jane Austen book. It is rooted in the history of women not being able to earn income or own property. So men needed to have a career before they could marry, but women were still believed to be old maids before most American women today would even think of getting married.
Do you think the "Cougar" phenomenon is harmful to older women who are in serious relationships with younger men just...because? To clarify: my mother was in a relationship with a man 20 years her junior. For several years. She doesn't necessarily prefer young men, and she certainly doesn't "prey" on them. But I wonder if people are associating "older woman/younger man" with casual flings and affairs? And that therefore, people who are in large-age-difference-relationships... face even more scrutiny, because now, the perception is that it can't possibly be serious.
"Can’t hot women just be hot". I do so agree with that sentiment and would add: why can’t great looking older women just be great looking, without the double edged sword of being "good for their age!"
Ugh, god. I am not a bigot or anything but can't these women control themselves? What they do in the privacy of their own homes is one thing, but when they're out in the open, preying upon our young sons - that's where I draw the line.
Why can't we go back to a simpler time, where women aged in private, alone, with nothing but their cats to keep them company?
Have we talked about the weirdness of no longer being a "sex kitten" once one is a "cougar"?
Because there's something really jacked up about that - we get a measure of confidence, and are suddenly no longer cuddly, cute, fluffy little pieces of ass... But have claws, fangs, and a thirst for the easy prey.
Is it too early for a little (ah, crap - unintended pun alert) caterwhauling against the patriarchy?
I dunno... the term does bug me, but don't we also call hot older men silver foxes?
Maybe if hot older guys were treated with the same mysterious awe and wonder and trepidation with which we treat hot older women, it wouldn't be such a big deal. Like, maybe the problem is that we treat a hot middle-aged woman as some kind of rarity, like, WHOA, she's over 45 and HOT??? Whereas for dudes it's practically assumed.
@Dodai: I promoted the comment because I think this is a good question. There IS something fundamentally pejorative about calling a woman a cougar, but I don't know that it's linked to the animal itself. When we call a guy a "tiger" as in "Hey there, tiger" are we thinking "Oooh. He stalks and kills his prey! He's PRACTICALLY a rapist!"? I think the discussion needs to go to "tiger is good for a guy, why is cougar so... cougar-y?" Why are we making what in another instance could be complimentary into a laughing stock catch-all phrase to belittle any woman over 35 who hasn't had her vagina vacuum sealed shut.
@Dodai: I have to beg to differ that foxes are just sexy. I mean, there's sly as a fox. Crazy like a fox. I just don't see the big to do about this - there are a ton of animal-related idioms and terms that, yes, we can be outraged that we dare compare a human being to another animal with, yes, animalistic qualities, but then how will we describe how drunk (as a skunk) I was last weekend, which made me sick (as a dog) this week at work and I can't wait until I get new contacts because without them, I'll be blind (as a bat).
@schweppes: Also, time and time again women HAPPILY take on the cougar title (even beyond the more public "starring in a show called the Cougar" or "going to a cougar convention"). It seems like these women enjoy the sense of power and dominance that comes with the term - - - so can't we just let them have it without the under-40 crowd trying to turn this into a derogatory term?
@LaComtesse: Y'know as much as I loathe this term, looking at the pictures above makes me wonder if we don't sometimes imply broader application than is intended.
That is to say, I rarely hear anyone use the term "cougar" just to generally describe an attractive older woman (except in the case of Brooke Shields and that was indeed out of line) but more often to describe a particular type of older woman...the type that is very obviously in denial of aging and desperate to validate her beauty by clinging tenaciously to the trappings of youth (peroxide, frosted lip gloss, unflatteringly tight clothes, frat boys). There are women who are in fact ferociously single-minded about such things.
And come to think of it, there is an equivalent though less methaphoric term for men: Dirty Old Man. But just as we don't consider every older man who dates younger women to be a Dirty Old Man, perhaps it's a bit over-sensitive of us to assume the term "cougar" applies to all older women. Tellingly, I almost never hear it applied to Demi Moore.
@LawFairy: "Whereas for dudes it's practically assumed."
While this may be true for celebs, I'm not so sure that real guys age as gracefully as the stereotype. Maybe on the surface, but their "charismatic capital" doesn't go as far.
I think men who capitalize on "silver fox" status risk an awful lot. When's the last time you heard the phrase "dirty/creepy old woman?"
It's a bit like when women way over 18 keep referring to themselves as "girls." It's undermining and sexism in language is one thing we can do something about right now.
@MizJenkins: I'm with you. I've always heard "cougar" as someone who specifically dates younger men, tries to look young, etc. Hot older women are just hot older women.
09/26/09
09/26/09
As for the sex with husband scene she actually does feel fat which is why she doesn't want to have sex, her friend calling her a whore (she's sitting there in a nighty) is to spur her on. Later on her husband says something to her and she says "is it weird I think you're sexy" or something along that line. So I really didn't get the impression they were making jokes about older people having sex.
As for the neighbor saying she couldn't bag a younger man, he's obviously just trying to get her goat. As someone suggested in a previous post I imagine he will become of particular interest for her.
The show is funny and I'm glad Cox picked up something else so quickly. She does funny well. I never got into Dirt but she really hasn't had much luck with new series after the almighty Friends.
As for the title, it seems appropriate for the show otherwise what would they call it: 40+ woman has sex with younger man? No, I don't think so. I don't like the fact however that there isn't a term for men who date younger women. Someone should come up with something--I'm actually shocked no has by now.
09/27/09
They could definitely be more creative and less offensive. That said, they probably went for offensive on purpose, because there's no way nobody in production saw that title and said "hey, I think that's a bit offensive"
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
/Today's rant brought to you by anthropomorphism
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
Is the last lady wearing the bow bun like Lady Gaga?
09/01/09
[www.charlestoncitypaper.com]
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
Why can't we go back to a simpler time, where women aged in private, alone, with nothing but their cats to keep them company?
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
Because there's something really jacked up about that - we get a measure of confidence, and are suddenly no longer cuddly, cute, fluffy little pieces of ass... But have claws, fangs, and a thirst for the easy prey.
Is it too early for a little (ah, crap - unintended pun alert) caterwhauling against the patriarchy?
09/01/09
Repeat until urge to bang head against keyboard becomes unbearable.
09/01/09
Maybe if hot older guys were treated with the same mysterious awe and wonder and trepidation with which we treat hot older women, it wouldn't be such a big deal. Like, maybe the problem is that we treat a hot middle-aged woman as some kind of rarity, like, WHOA, she's over 45 and HOT??? Whereas for dudes it's practically assumed.
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
09/01/09
That is to say, I rarely hear anyone use the term "cougar" just to generally describe an attractive older woman (except in the case of Brooke Shields and that was indeed out of line) but more often to describe a particular type of older woman...the type that is very obviously in denial of aging and desperate to validate her beauty by clinging tenaciously to the trappings of youth (peroxide, frosted lip gloss, unflatteringly tight clothes, frat boys). There are women who are in fact ferociously single-minded about such things.
And come to think of it, there is an equivalent though less methaphoric term for men: Dirty Old Man. But just as we don't consider every older man who dates younger women to be a Dirty Old Man, perhaps it's a bit over-sensitive of us to assume the term "cougar" applies to all older women. Tellingly, I almost never hear it applied to Demi Moore.
09/01/09
While this may be true for celebs, I'm not so sure that real guys age as gracefully as the stereotype. Maybe on the surface, but their "charismatic capital" doesn't go as far.
I think men who capitalize on "silver fox" status risk an awful lot. When's the last time you heard the phrase "dirty/creepy old woman?"
09/01/09
Now I'm going to feel redundant all day. =[
09/01/09
It's a bit like when women way over 18 keep referring to themselves as "girls." It's undermining and sexism in language is one thing we can do something about right now.
09/01/09
I've never heard "cougar" used without some hint of derision or mockery. It is emphatically not a neutral term.
09/01/09
Kudos on the dirty old man.
09/01/09