I so wanted to love this exhibit. I'll admit that bias right from the start. I know first-hand what goes into a shoot, and the crucial animating energy of modeling — the performance that is part mute, still-frame acting, part own-stunt cojones (who do you think climbs South American rock faces without ropes, in couture? Lily Donaldson's double?), part pure, inexplicable presence — and I feel, frankly, that our contributions to the fashion industry and the discourse of images that the industry uses to represent itself to the world are often underreported and undersold. Getting up in the morning and transforming, convincingly, into the apotheosis of a photographer, designer, and stylist's only partly shared creative vision isn't easy.

And just now, after season upon season of most designers choosing to make their models look as inconspicuous, anonymous, and blandly interchangeable as possible on the runway and in advertising, after years in which the model has shrunk before our very eyes, the culture seems ripe for some kind of redress: a resurgence of individuality, a reassertion of personality. A return to the days when the casual fashionista — as opposed to only the dedicated indexer of Internet-derived fashion arcana — could at least tell us all apart. The theme of the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute's brand-new and infinitely hyped "Model as Muse" exhibit, with its privileged understanding of the lowly clotheshorse's role in advancing fashion, seemed to promise a move in that direction.

What a terrible disappointment, then, to walk through the Tisch gallery on opening day and find an exhibit that was seemingly laid out with the goal of inspiring the utmost tedium in the viewer. I should have known as soon as I passed that terrible bit of tat with creepy Robo-Dovima in the entryway: the first corridor of photographs is lit with softboxes suspended from the ceiling. Softboxes. Photographic equipment illuminating exemplars of fashion photography! The single-entendre curation never lets up; the viewer is also subjected to such cheesy gestures as stepping literally through a velvet rope in order to enter the 1970s gallery. (Done up, naturally, to look like the basement of Studio 54, complete with unlit cigarettes.) It is difficult to concentrate on the beauty that surrounds when your ears are being assaulted with Alicia Bridges' "I Love The Nightlife" and your eyes with a tawdry-looking spread of yet more blank-faced mannequins, all decked out in truly atrocious wigs by fashion hairstylist Julien d'Ys.

I suspect even the curators, led by Costume Institute head Harold Koda, found their vision a little less than compelling: the exhibit often seems like the product of minds that occasionally wandered. In the wall copy, I spied the former model Anjelica Huston's name mis-spelled with a 'g', and I read twice within 30 seconds the phrase "attenuated limbs." (British model Karen Elson, in the 90s room, has "elegantly attenuated limbs," while American Stephanie Seymour, who closes out the 80s gallery, has "gracefully attenuated limbs.")

This Avedon photo of Lauren Hutton is what every American Apparel ad wants to be. And never will.

The exhibit proceeds dully, chronologically, through roughly the past 60 years of fashion history. The galleries dealing with each decade are separated by lines as clear as they are arbitrary; the Fifties, you see, was the decade of the Continent and Dior and Balenciaga, but then once the clock struck 12:01 on January 1, 1960, nobody made couture anymore, and Rudi Gernreich immediately put the obliging Peggy Moffitt in his monokini. Cue mod! (Cue the Who! On repeat!)

Veruschka, shot here for the August, 1968, issue of French Vogue by her then-lover, Franco Rubartelli, played a role in her shoots that today would be highly unusual for a model. She had significant input into, or sometimes even sole control, of the styling, the makeup, and the hair, and the images produced were generally collaborations between herself and the photographer.

It's hard to screw up showing quality fashion photography, framed on a wall. (Even the various viewer-insulting "contextual" gestures, like blaring pop music and the intrusive graffiti in the 90s room — perpetrated by hairdresser d'Ys, at Anna Wintour's instruction, which goes to show just how much control the noted museum patron has over the arts on display — do not entirely manage to quash the timeless beauty of, for example, Irving Penn's June 1950 Vogue cover shot of Jean Patchett. The presentation of the artifacts on the walls is fine. What I am still unclear about is the value of seeing the mannequin'd tableaux-morts featuring the actual designer clothes; if the point of this show is to celebrate models and their animating contributions to fashion and fashion photography, then, after seeing Veruschka in Yves Saint Laurent's safari collection, or Bert Stern's astonishing studio shot of Twiggy in the same designer's beaded midriff-dress, what end is served by seeing these same garments presented in dim exhibition suites, too far away to make out any detail of stitching or cut, on lifeless dummies that bear no resemblance to the women who once illuminated their beauty as articles of clothing? The safari dress as it hangs in the show isn't even styled properly. It lacks, in addition to Veruschka's firepower, its ring belt.

Even back in 1967, sample shoes didn't fit. Twiggy poses here, on her first trip to the U.S., for Vogue photographer Bert Stern.

If "Model as Muse" serves any useful purpose, it is to remind the viewer of fashion's headwaters, and of just how derivative fashion photography has become. In the first hall of the exhibit is Richard Avedon's iconic image of Sunny Harnett at the roulette table; in the last, is Stephen Meisel's 1998 version, with Carolyn Murphy. The elements are so much the same — blonde, cream dress, tuxedo'd gent, roulette — that the latter scrambles to rise to meet the criteria of "homage."

Sunny Harnett by Richard Avedon, for U.S. Harper's Bazaar, September, 1954.

In the 1960s suite, somewhere under the blaring of "My Generation" and the projected Qui Etes-Vous, Polly Magoo clip on repeat that overwhelms the room, there's a single page from the September, 1965 Harper's Bazaar.

Jean Shrimpton, by Richard Avedon.

It served to remind me of nothing so much as this Patrick Demarchelier image from last September's Vogue.

Catherine McNeil, by Patrick Demarchelier.

A picture of Lisa Taylor wearing Calvin Klein, by Helmut Newton for the May, 1975 issue of Vogue, hangs in the 1970s hall, near some mealy wall copy about 1970s gender roles. (A subject which any viewer would learn more about simply by pondering the viewer-viewed dynamic here between the languid, powerful-looking Taylor and the foregrounded male model, whose ass looks so unusually objectified.)

Lisa Taylor, by Helmut Newton.

Of course, as commenter LittleNemo pointed out last year when I posted a spread, Glen Luchford's September, 2008, Harper's Bazaar photo of Freja Beha Erichsen owes a debt to Newton.

Freja Beha Erichsen, by Glen Luchford.

This Demarchelier and the Luchford were not in the Met's show — the post-grunge years seem to be a curatorial afterthought, as they are represented in main by two outfits from a recent Louis Vuitton collection by principal exhibit sponsor Marc Jacobs and a bunch of pictures of Gisele Bundchen. But, whether all these archetypal images' latter-day derivations are physically present or not, you can only wander through these corridors for a matter of seconds before phrases like "anxiety of influence" come irrepressibly to mind.

It is, I am sure, not the reaction Koda, Wintour, Jacobs, and d'Ys would want. But these eminent lightweights, with their spraycans, their predilection for references to fictional movies about the industry, their ugly wigs and their uglier Nirvana soundtrack, their mis-spellings and their children's book fashion history — not to mention their craven elision of designer Azzedine Alaïa — did more than enough to earn it.

Perhaps someday a museum will be equal to mounting an intelligent investigation of the changing roles of fashion models, and fashion photography's relationship to the wider culture — its uneasily shifting placement on the continuum between high art and low commerce, between editorial content in magazines and clothes and makeup as we do them in everyday life. Perhaps someday, we'll see the model as muse. But that museum is not the Met, and that exhibition is not yet come.

The Model As Muse [Metropolitan Museum of Art]

Related: Alaïa Pulls His Dresses From The Met Gala [On The Runway]
Model As Veteran [NY Times]

• File under matches made in heaven: Karl Lagerfeld has designed couture costumes for England's National Ballet. [Telegraph]

• Did Eva Herzigova drink a lot of champagne at the opening of the Michael Kors store in London, and then walk out the door with a bracelet, watch, and sunglasses? Security guards reportedly looked like they were going to stop the supermodel, until the paparazzi started taking her picture. Kors claimed the next day that Herzigova was "being cheeky" — but that the items were a gift. [Daily Mail]
• Get ready to see a lot more of Jessica Biel: The actress has been named the newest face of Revlon. [WWD]
• Filene's Basement has filed for bankruptcy protection. Apparently, now that other stores have been forced to cut their prices, Filene's discounts are less impressive in the retail lineup. [Reuters]
• The Olivier Theyskens/Halston rumors are back. With the added complicator of Anna Wintour's involvement. [WWD]
• Holding the annual costume institute gala at the Met might distract from the Renoirs, sniffs writer Michael Gross. [NY Post]
• Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, and Linda Evangelista will all skip the event. Turlington is out of the country, filming a (doubtless very important) "documentary on maternal health." Steven Meisel will also sit the party out — but that's no surprise since the man is rarely glimpsed in public. [P6]
• Patti Smith doesn't require fashion. "I can wear rags," says the musician. "But they have to be cool rags." [The Cut]
• Mischa Barton, however, pretty much requires headbands. Or at least requires you to buy hers, since she doesn't have a career anymore, other than waiting to see if her pilot is getting picked up. [People]
• England apparently has has a Dress of the Year award since 1963. And this year it went to Kate Moss, for one of her Topshop designs. [Independent]
• Meanwhile Topshop, ever the good neighbor, has apparently knocked off Alexander Wang's "naked" dress — the one with the floating embroidery on mesh. [Racked]
• Wang's jacket for the Gap looks like a a biker jacket that swallowed a trench coat. [Racked]
• Is Azzedine Alaïa looking to launch a lingerie line? If so, why wont the famously body-conscious women's wear designer design it himself? [Elle]
• Speaking of lingerie, you should read this entertaining profile of Joe Corré, son of Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McLaren, and co-founder of Agent Provocateur. "I don't buy into all this brand-identity bollocks — the Gucci lifestyle, the Prada lifestyle," says Corré. "What does that mean? That you're a rich, bored idiot with no soul? It's just emperor's new clothes bullshit. We're against all that. Agent Provocateur is about an attitude, about empowerment." [Guardian]
• Hogan's fall campaign will reportedly star Nate Lowman, an artist who dates Mary-Kate Olsen. [Fashionista]
• Bar Refaeli, the Israeli supermodel, has designed "the perfect little black bikini." It looks exactly like every other string bikini you've ever seen, but it costs $120. [People]
• Ben Sherman is quitting the footwear business by the end of this year. [WWD]
• On the other foot: Skechers, which is now back in the black. [WWD]
• Lily Cole, the British model, has not one but three movies coming out. And a new Rimmel ad. And, oh yeah, she's a full-time student at Cabridge. [The Cut]
• Thom Browne, whose business was rumored to be in dire straits recently, had his CEO and CFO depart on Friday. [WWD]

• In an apparent attempt to rob the Costume Institute of gravitas, Sarah Jessica Parker will be doing the audio commentary for the Met's latest exhibit. The SATC tour bus frantically adds a stop. [ElleUK]
• Says the curator, “Walking through the galleries listening to Sarah Jessica Parker’s narration will bring a sense of discovery and delight to the experience.” [WWD]
• Prince Charles is apparently inspiring British menswear! [FT]
• Having watched Stylista, we're sure Christy Turlington is eminently qualified to be a Marie Claire editor. [Fashionista]

• Robert Verdi on Michelle Obama's Narciso Rodriguez: "She looked like a lava lamp and we all know that. I didn’t like that light bright dress and I think she could have made a better choice. I like that she wore an American designer, I think she should continue to wear American fashion and speak the style of the nation in her public appearances and then move towards an international flavor." [FabSugar]
• What does the savvy recessionista drive? Why, the Hermès smart car! "The Fortwo édition Toile cars, manufactured by the Como group, are available in 10 colors including gold, indigo and the luxury house’s signature orange. Each is fitted with Hermès leather-covered steering wheels and gear levers, with colors including fuchsia and lime, along with the brand’s original canvas toile." [WWD]
• How better to transport your Christopher Kane radio! [VogueUK]
• "On the surface, the similarities are striking; they were both princesses born in the 1940s in a foreign land. Young and beautiful, the long-haired brunettes soon fell in love and followed their men to the United States where they built a reputation for steely determination and strength." That would be Diane von Furstenberg and Wonder Woman. Obvs. [CNN]
• Lauren Bush — oh, sorry, Pierce — "has been hard at work on her capsule collection of environmentally sustainable clothes since early 2008." [W]
• The all-important vintage couture bubble has yet to pop! [Forbes]
• Apparently Yves Saint Laurent collected stuff from China's Opium Wars. Now it's being auctioned. For a lot of money. [NY Mag]
• Remind me to avoid this Uniqlo stunt: "On Nov. 18 at Military Island in Times Square, a team of Heat-Techies dressed in silver bodysuits will be scanning pedestrians with a thermograph that reveals the coldest parts of the body. The consumers can then walk over to a giant human vending machine that dispenses free products. Press of a button for men’s or women’s clothing sets in motion models inside the machine, who dance a choreographed routine and dispense a package of Heattech innerwear." [WWD]
• Uh oh. Cosmetics, normally recession-proof, are feeling some pain. [FT]
• The Casual Male group is benefiting from Europe's rising obesity rates. [IHT]
• Apparently both PR designers Laura Bennett and Chloe Dao (yes, who won!) will be selling their lines on QVC tonight. Which is good, right? Right? [Blogging Project Runway]
• Following the success (?) of Model.Live, Conde Nast has the video bug. [Fashionista]
• Laetitia Casta is the latest Vuitton muse. [Sassybella]

• Nicole Richie's cheap, chunky jewelry line is actually pretty get-behind-able. [FabSugar]
• PETA protesters continue the conversation by appearing at an Olsen Twins book signing with the placard: "Trollsens: UR Hags From Hell." [New York Magazine]
• Kate Moss is going to co-chair the Metropolitan Museum's Costume Institute Gala, to which we are already not invited. [Telegraph]
• Apparently the theme is "the model as muse." Feeling better about being left out! [WWD]
• Candie's anti-teen sex ad stirs controversy; we're just wondering when a brand that featured Jenny McCarthy on a toilet became a moral authority. [AdRants]

• Tom Ford's Isherwood adaptation, A Single Man, is cast! "(Colin) Firth is the gay man, an Englishman and professor who feels like an outsider in Los Angeles. (Matthew) Goode is the boyfriend who dies in a car accident and appears in flashbacks. (Julianne) Moore plays a friend of the professor." [Yahoo]
• The Columbia Journalism Review is sick of talking about Michelle Obama's wardrobe. [CJR]
• Tell that to J.Crew! They're cashing in on Michelle Obama's endorsement. [Politico]
• And to all the random European designers inspired by the campaign! [Telegraph]
• Meanwhile, J. Crew's brought on a new head of menswear, who says that men "don't appreciate or want change. They're set in their ways." [Men.Style]
• Perk of being an It Brand? Hanging with whoever you want. Here, the Rodarte girls chill with Kim Gordon, say "I think music, film and art influence Laura and me more than anything else. We grew up near Santa Cruz and I can remember being so intrigued by skaters and psychedelic ’80s hippies who listened to Peter Gabriel. My environment was a huge inspiration." [BlackBook]
• Zac Efron wears Calvins, apparently. [New York Magazine]
• Things are getting really ugly in the Project Runway legal battle, with accusations of "sabotage" from both Bravo and the Weinsteins. [E]
• Speaking of PR, are you an exhibitionist with an itch to stitch? Bravo's new knockoff, Fashion House, is casting! [Fashionista]
• The DVF woman: "She walks where she wants her life to go...firmly on the heels of her of her wooden wedges…she moves like a whisper commanding a goddess gown as easily as a patterned T." [WWD]
• Indian moddle Kangana Dutta is getting some serious designer play. [Style.com]
• CNA calculates all the stuff the average American could buy with Palin;s wardrobe budget. Play along! [The Nation]
• British factory-worker-turned-next-big-model has a Flashdance-worthy story of triumph! Can I admit I kind of choked up? [The Sun]
• Want to see some plastic shoes dance a ballet? Be our guest! [Melissa Plastic Dreams via AdRants]
• Burberry adds this enormous sign to the NYC skyline. [NY Times]
• Vivienne Tam unveils "laptop for women." Seriously. It's "small, lightweight and colorful. Its red and pink peony injected plastic print exterior matches Tam’s spring clothing, and it will be sold at the Vivienne Tam store in Manhattan’s SoHo neighborhood in the spring." Thank. God. [WWD]

The trouble with last night's party at the Met, if I may speak frankly, is that it was a little like being sucked into a sequined wind tunnel. It started with a little breeziness before the superhero displays—Oh, hey, Narciso and Claire! Hi Liya! Alessandra! Isaac! Diane! Tom!—and then, suddenly, people seemed to be flying around the room....But I thought Anna Wintour looked great in her Chanel dress—fantastical fashion....And though I didn't see Victoria Beckham until later, in pictures, her lace Armani coat dress was definitely a look—Hollywood grandeur with a wink. Zac Posen and his date Kate Mara, in outfits painfully inspired by Superman, get the try-harder award. I'll be interested to know who you all thought looked super—and not.

One could probably read as many metaphors about the transformative power of fashion in the silver-sequined, elaborately padded Chanel gown that Anna Wintour wore to the Costume Institute gala on Monday night as one could in Superman's cape, which happened to be hanging in a gallery down the hall. The floor-length dress had curiously curling crescents attached at the hips and the shoulders, giving Ms. Wintour, the Vogue editor and overseer of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual Party of the Year, the fuller-bodied appearance of Botticelli's Venus on her clamshell. She seemed to be broadcasting a message of total earthly control. (Or it could have been that all the Vogue assistants standing along the way to Ms. Wintour's receiving line had been strictly instructed not to speak to anyone, not even to people they recognized, or that so many guests were unusually prompt.) With this year's gala titled "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy," Ms. Wintour pointed out that she was Storm, the "X-Men" character. "I control the weather," she said.

Blake Lively wore black gloves and a snug black Ralph Lauren gown involving feathers. She said that her favorite superhero was "Spider-Man. Cause he's awesome! He gets to swing around, and, I don't know....I've always seen pictures growing up, being a teenager, and thought, 'I'd love to go to that, a night just to dress up in ball gowns.' And here I am!"...Vogue editor and hostess Anna Wintour was the first to arrive, at 6:33 p.m., wearing a Chanel gown adorned with what appeared to be seahorse tails and accompanied by daughter Bee Shaffer, who required two men, including the formidable Vogue editor at large André Leon Talley, to carry the train of her voluminous blue Nina Ricci dress up the stairs....Designer Phillip Lim came with teenage model-of-the-moment Chanel Iman,..."I've been here last year, and this is her first time here, so she's the newbie...it's a lot of pressure."

It was a silver moment for Julia Roberts, wearing a swoop-neck dress by Giorgio Armani, who underwrote the event. Her co-chairs were Clooney and Anna Wintour, the editor-in-chief of Vogue, who wore a Superwoman creation by Chanel with snakes of padding at shoulders and thighs. Fashion's superheroes included Donatella Versace, who dressed Janet Jackson in a cut-away back dress, Karl Lagerfeld, wearing a sparkling silver jacket while he dressed Kate Bosworth in a multicolored patchwork of vintage Chanel; and Valentino, who was with the model Claudia Schiffer wearing a frilled blue dress from the retired designer's last collection....The cast of the newly revived "Hair" sang "The Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sun Shine In." David Bowie, sitting with his wife, Iman, looked pained at this new rendition of the counterculture musical.

[George] Clooney joked that he had wanted to dress as Batman, but the costume was already in the exhibition, so he settled for a midnight blue Giorgio Armani tuxedo. Anna Wintour, shimmering in silver cyber-couture, by Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel, declared: "I stopped the rain"....The tennis star Venus Williams and American Vogue's editor-at-large, André Leon Talley, shared a red satin, super-cape for two that was custom-made by Chanel. The actress Scarlett Johansson wore a Dolce & Gabbana gown with a large diamond solitaire which announced her engagement to the actor, Ryan Reynolds. The designer Marc Jacobs confessed to wearing Superman underwear beneath his tuxedo....The "Superheroes" exhibition opens with a mirrored illusion of Clark Kent morphing into Superman and features radical catwalk creations by some of the world's top designers and comic book costumes from Hollywood blockbusters such as Spiderman and Batman.

It's the Oscars of the fashion industry, but if the looks on parade at Monday's Costume Institute gala in New York were anything to go by, that industry is in a sorry state of disarray. Hosted by Vogue editor Anna Wintour (in a Starlight Express moment, perhaps taking the superhero theme somewhat literally) and Giorgio Armani (looking as buff, relaxed and fashionably weathered as ever) the normally ultra-glamorous event fell flat as the proverbial pancake, where the frocks were concerned at least....how about Katie Holmes, who's clearly sharing a sunbed with her new best friend, Victoria Beckham? Someone really ought to have warned her that tomato red and orange is a challenging colour combination and that her razor-sharp bob is more Playmobil nurse than intergalactic heroine. And what of the aforementioned Mrs Beckham? Even by this particular fashion car crash's standards, her dress was disastrous. Nancy Reagan circa 1985, anyone? That cool-as-a-cucumber chignon, meanwhile, isn't kidding anyone. A Hitchcock heroine the artist formerly known as Posh most certainly is not.

Armani dressed Clooney and Roberts. "He asked me very sweetly if I'd be his date," Roberts, wearing a platinum Giorgio Armani Privé gown, said about the designer, who also outfitted other A-list celebrities, including Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Beyoncé Knowles and John Mayer....Clooney was taking it all in stride. "I get to have a drink. It's easy for me," he said. As for the superhero theme, he said he had a favorite when he was a kid: "Well, you know, I loved one that no one ever talks about, the Green Hornet. He was really cool." [Thandie] Newton, in a short dress in black lace with a long cape, said, "I like this because it's one look — and two looks. She made up her own superhero inspiration. "I'm Love Woman," she said. "I wanted to do a bit of skin."

"I think the secret of a good exhibition is when it happens very easily, which is what happened here," Anna Wintour told us of the Metropolitan Museum's Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy installation. We had many more looks in the exhibition than we could use, so [the idea] is obviously, once you start to look, really out there. It was largely Andrew [Bolton, the exhibition curator]'s vision that brought it all together but we've been very fortunate that at the same time," she added. "All these movies are coming out and the Olympics are coming up, so it all sort of came together."

Holy Stars, Batman! It was a celeb-studded affair at the Metropolitan Museum on Monday night as the world's fashion elite and Hollywood heavyweights met on Fifth Ave. to kick off the Costume Institute's latest exhibit, "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." And while the night's theme celebrated cat suits and unitards, the red carpet featured far more glam getups: Co-hosts Julia Roberts and George Clooney giggled together as they strolled in wearing Giorgio Armani. "I wore the dress because he made it for me," said Roberts, who gave the designer, who sponsored the evening with Vogue magazine, a hug....Fashion darling Zac Posen took the theme seriously, rocking out Clark Kent-worthy spectacles and revealing his own secret identity. "I worked here as an intern for three years," he said. "I got paid $60 to do the event."

• Stella McCartney calls dibs on bride-to-be Scarlett Johansson: "I'm definitely doing her wedding dress. She doesn't know it yet." Awkward. [People]
  
• Says Marc Jacobs on the bride-to-be, "I'm really happy for her. She's a great girl. I just think Scarlett is great and I hope she is very, very happy. She's super funny. I love a smart, ballsy, New Yorker and that's what she is. I wish her the best." And by "the best" he clearly means, "Do why didn't that bitch ask me to design her wedding dress?" [Vogue UK]
  
• Chris "Mr. Big" Noth has some strong feelings about Victoria's Secret, "I'm not into Victoria's Secret so much. I find it over the top. I like subtlety and I like elegance. I think their things are gaudy and they are really trying too hard. If I could make a fashion statement, I think that Victoria's Secret looks to me like somebody who is putting on too much make-up. It's too gaudy, man. I mean, come on take it easy, you don't have to have a fuckin' bouquet of flowers on your underwear. Sorry Victoria's Secret; I hope they're not one of our sponsors!" [Oh No They Didn't]
  
• "You can get diamonds cheap," says Heidi Klum, which is why she's going to start sewing them into the pockets of her Jordache jeans line. Clearly, she has not seen Blood Diamond. [WWD, 9th item]

• Good for you, Adidas, for winning your lawsuit against Payless shoes for their blasphemous thievery of what is clearly a design that only you own: Stripes. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Seriously, Suri Cruise does not need custom-made Roger Vivier shoes. I, however, do. [WWD, 1st item]
• So what did More editor-in-chief Lesley Jane Seymour do Monday night in lieu of attending the Met Costume Institute Gala? (She wasn't invited.) "I dressed up in my best Versace and barbecued on the my outside deck in the suburbs! Only kidding about the Versace! I wore Prada." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Oh also, Christina Ricci left the Costume Institute Gala in a huff after realizing upon entering that she and her boyfriend had not been seated together. [Page Six]
• If only I had been trapped in an elevator with Giorgio Armani yesterday. [Wowowow]
• So Gwyneth Paltrow is all, "I don't get why there's this big fuss about my S&M footwear fetish." [USA Today]
• Video footage of Gemma Ward trying to slay Liv Tyler: Here. [Fashionista]
• Video footage of Karlie Kloss doing ballet: Here. [NY Mag]
• Model and sometimes di Caprio girlfriend Bar Rafaeli sorta needs to pony up and serve in the Israeli Army already. [UPI]
• Oh of course Jimmy Choo is trying to usurp as much press and glory as they can from the opening of the Sex and the City movie. [Vogue UK]
• Ksube + Kanye = Pretty cool. [Sassybella]
• Diet Coke + Patricia Field = Pretty random. [Sassybella]
• OMG why did The Sartorialist get fired from the new Gap ads as a model already?! Why?! Why?! [Fashionista]
• Beth Ditto will be entertaining guests at the opening of the Alexander McQueen store in L.A. next week. [Fashion Week Daily]
• In the midst of economic downturn Barneys New York and Target seem to be entering into one of those "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" sorta things. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And young design bad-ass Danielle Scutt is designing for Topshop. Seeing a theme here? [WWD, 8th item]
• The Turks? Love them some Dior. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Just what you needed: How to dress like celebrities, made easy. And a little stalker-ish. [TechCrunch]

The Ugly:
Melania Trump's dress is as bad and as tacky as her husband's comb-over.
Mary-Kate: Time to take a page from sister Ashley.
Kimora Lee Simmons induces yet another bout with vergito.

This is not Dita's finest hour. Lady looks better with her clothes off than this hideous piece of garbage.
Janet Jackson's tasteful white sheath is all but ruined by the twin accessories of Donatella and Allegra Versace.
Is Naomi Watts headed to a costume party? Dressed as Marilyn Monroe?
Wow. Anna Wintour. Wow.

Earlier: At Costume Institute Gala Bad Tries To Triumph Over Good; Fails
At Costume Institute Gala The Good Superheroes Took A Fashion Flight Of Fancy

The Bad:
The feathers! The gloves! Serena would not approve, Blake Lively.
Yes, the dress is nice enough. But I just can't take seeing Beyonce in one more "Beyonce" dress. Does the girl know no other silhouettes?!
Why must you hurt your boobies and toes, Eva Amurri???
Too much and not in a good way, Longoria.
Apologies to Eva Mendes but I just hate that color.
I think Gisele looks a little more trashy than classy.
Could Ivanka Trump wear anything more boring? Make an effort, lady.
I want to love Jennifer Connolly's dress. But I can't.
Ack! Leaping diagonal tiers, Jennifer Lopez!
Kristin Davis is all washed out.
Liv Tyler is wearing a lurex garbage bag toga.
Why does Mary J. Blige look sorta rumpled?
I love classic black dresses, but Sarah Michelle Gellar is wearing the wrong look for this occasion.
Sarah Silverman looks like a cracked-out Amy Winehouse. Oh. Wait. Nevermind.
Thandie Newton would look great if only she ditched the duster.
Dylan Lauren is rocking the Del Boca Vista aesthetic.
Something about this dress makes Julia Roberts look matronly.
I don't know who Alice Braga is, but her dress is a little mother-of-the-bride.
Too much pink, Lara Spencer.
Piper Perabo? Or a lost little alien?
Tamara Mellon looks a little Vegas, if ya know what I mean.
I don't want to see Donna Karan's side-boob ever again.
Is Helena Christensen wearing some suburban teen's prom dress?
Good effort, Kate Bosworth, but... no.

[Images via Getty.]

• God bless Vivienne Westwood for being so undeniably herself. Says the fashion designer-cum-philosopher: "I'd like to do less, but there are people dependent on me now. My thing has always been, just let me finish this pair of trousers and then I can read my book. We've all got to wear something, I suppose. So my advice would be to buy quality. Choose well. I think there's a certain status in seeing someone wearing the same thing over and over again." [Vogue UK]
  
• God bless Heidi Klum. She's just so wise: "[Take] time out for yourself so you can engage in an activity that you really enjoy. [Also, don't] neglect the romance in your life. [And] wear pretty lingerie if you don't want to feel schlumpy." [Vogue UK]
  
• God bless Donatella Versace for saying at the Times Talks on Sunday that her fashion motto is "Don't let the rappers wear more bling than you do!" and that she hopes to be reincarnated as Maya Rudolph. [Fashion Week Daily]

• God bless Agent Provocateur co-founder Joe Corre (who is, incidentally, also the son of Vivienne Westwood) for making his brand's latest advertising campaign, fronted by Kate Moss, actually about his feelings of disdain regarding the Vatican and Catholicism. The apple clearly does not fall far from the tree. [NYMag]
• God bless the Project Runway producers for sticking to their guns and maintaining contracts with NBC rather than following their bastardized show to Lifetime. [Yahoo]
• God bless Burberry for not using Agyness Deyn in its next advertising campaign. [Fashionista]
• God bless Jack White and Karen Elson for seemingly non-stop sex. [Globe and Mail]
• God bless model/tsunami survivor Petra Nemacova for making big money in real estate. [Page Six]
• God bless Margerita Missoni for deigning to look at apartments in Alphabet City, NYC. [Fashionista]
• God bless Giorgio Armani for sorta slighting the Met when talking about last night's Costume Institute Gala: "The superheroes theme is both topical and modern and will, I believe, attract a wider audience than usual to the Costume Institute. I am looking forward to welcoming everyone." (Let us not forget in his first press conference regarding the exhibit, he managed to insult Anna Wintour.) [Vogue UK]
• God bless alice+olivia designer Stacey Bendet, who is reportedly pregnant with baby number one. [Page Six]

The Good:
Christy Turlington glows in a red dress in an unexpected silhouette.
Emily Mortimer went a little gladiator for the superhero theme.
Stella McCartney and Kate Moss shine perfectly.
Camilla Belle looks wrapped in clouds.
If I were Christina Ricci, I would never ever ever take this dress off. Ever. It is one of the greatest things I have ever seen. Love. Speechless. Sigh.
Diane Kruger looks a little bit like the Tin Man, but I love that she went for a short dress. Also, love love the shoes.
Iman. Always perfect. What else is new?
Kate Mara! Yellow! Yes! Yes!
Tom Cruise looks weirder than normal, but Katie Holmes looks fantastic, which of course I hate to say. But there's no denying all that red.
Dear Mischa Barton: Strip and give me that dress right now. Kthanxbai.
Please God let my face age like Natasha Richardson's.
Rachel Bilson looks like a total freak and I love. Clearly, she mistook "superheroes" to mean "Morticia Addams."
ScarJo is simultaneously old school and somewhat infantalized in her D&G but she looks hot, so good for her.
I still am not entirely sure who Taylor Swift is, but I like her chainmail-esque dress.
Sorry, you just can't hate on Victoria Beckham.
Emmy Rossum is a head-turner in this black-and-white floral frock.
Claudia Schiffer's dress is downright ethereal. Valentino is downright orange.
Ellen Barkin manages to always play it classy.
Jessica Stam is sorta a bad ass!
Michelle Trachtenberg? Or Liza at Studio 54?
Molly Sims must know my weakness for the color yellow.
Call me a crazy motherfucker, but Wendi Deng looks incredible.
Almost-goth Amanda Peet is fabulous.
Um, I love that Amber Valetta's dress has wings.
I totally heart you and your kick-ass black dress Ashley Olsen.
Can we discuss how awesome it is that Barbara Walters is there with Charlie Rose?
Claire Danes is sorta channeling Angela here, no?
This is seriously the best I have ever seen Fergie look.
Yeah, same for Hilary Duff.
Lake Bell went for it.
Lauren Bush is one class act in royal purple.
Margherita Missoni: Crazy-awesome.
Michelle Monahagan should only ever wear copper. Wow.
Paula Patton: Pretty.
Sofia's shiny drop-waisted number is delightful.
Tilda Swinton? Or Mr. Roboto?
Vera Wang and Karolina Kurkova play their metallics en suite.
Be my flamenco dancer, Ingrid van der Bosch.
Maggie Gyllenhaal knows you gotta go big or go home.
Venus Williams is a beacon of light.
Be still my heart, Zoe Kravitz-as-a-Clara Bow.
Bee Shaffer's dress is phenomenal. But why is Andre Leon Talley relegated to straightening her train?!

[Images via Getty.]

• More rumored changes for The Greatest Show On Earth, Project Runway: Season 6 of the show, the first to be broadcast on Lifetime, may feature "More Than A Pretty Face" magazine Marie Claire in lieu of Elle as the affiliated fashion magazine sponsor. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Whoah: Are New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn and Skeletor/stylist Rachel Zoe more similar than we could have ever imagined? Possibly, if it's true that Cathy Horyn was also mysteriously not invited to the dinner and dancing portion of tonight's Costume Institute festivities. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• And what does legendary costume designer Bob Mackie not like about the fashion industry? "Doing a fashion show that's on for 20 minutes and then it's over and everybody runs to the next one. Nobody sings, nobody dances, nobody tells jokes. I found it quite unsatisfying." I second that emotion. [WWD, sub req'd]

• It's so hard to be Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley: "I wear a lot of Burberry at events and the brand's been really supportive of me since the beginning. On the show, we wear H&M suits." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sex and the City costume designer/fun drunk lesbian Pat Field: Now designing Diet Coke bottles. [FabSugar]
• More pearls of wisdom from Tim Gunn: "Always keep your tux jacket closed in photos." [Page Six]
• Starring in the latest Gap ads are actors Ginnifer Goodwin, Liv Tyler, Hugh Dancy, Fabcon Clemence Poesy, Catalina Moreno, Edgar Ramirez, photographers Scott Schuman (The Sartorialist) and Ryan McGinley, and also Marchesa designer Georgina Chapman, model Chanel Iman, Visioniare's Cecilia Dean, and Princess Coldstare herself, Leigh Lezark. [FabSugar]
• Leona Lewis: The latest celeb to believe she can be a fashion designer. A vegan fashion designer, that is. Watch your back, Portman and McCartney. [Fashionista]
• Lord & Taylor is launching a new "reality" advertising campaign, with TV and radio spots featuring real customers "ambushed' in their stores by "celebrity stylist" Robert Verdi and quizzed on their shopping experiences. Oh Lord. [WWD, sub req'd]
• WWD asks: "Tax Rebate Checks: Will They Spend Or Will They Save?" [WWD, sub req'd]
• More stars coming to tonight's Vogue and Armani-sponsored Costume Institute gala: Kate Bosworth, Thandie Newton, Audrey Tatou, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jourdan Dunn, Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, and Roberto Bolle will all be there. In other words: Lots of good photos for us to dish on tomorrow. [WWD, 1st item]
• Also: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady, Scarlett Johansson, Iman and David Bowie, Sofia Coppola, Karen Elson and Helena Christensen. [Vogue UK]
• Mary Alice Stephenson (formerly the fashion director at Harper's Bazaar and the co-host of America's Most Smartest Model on Vh1) is shooting a special for E! on tonight's festivities, set to air May 8th for the viewing pleasure of us plebs. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Elle editors might have put Kelly Clarkson on the cover of the mag, but that doesn't mean they think she's very fashionable. [Page Six]
• Marc Jacobs: Now in Moscow. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Former model Josie Maran may have fake breasts tits. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• The fashion on Gossip Girl? Kinda crazy. But that's why we love it so. [EW]
• The rock stars today? The just don't dress like they used to. [LATimes]

• Who is Tory Burch's elusive 23-year old stepdaughter Pookie? On Mondays, Pookie interns for Bruce Weber, and the rest of the week she works as the assistant to the president of Carolina Herrera, and she was (allegedly) responsible for the magical pairing of New York's leading faux-WASP ice princess with Princess Coldstare, but alas, we have scoured the Google and cannot find a picture of her. So this will have to do. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• M.I.A has designed her own eponymous clothing line, which is really brightly colored so that, "if you lose it or someone steals it, you can see it from miles away and you can be like, 'Oy! Give me my shirt back!'" Oy is right! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Tinsley Mortimer, you see, is not a bad designer of handbags, it's just that she made the mistake of trying to sell them in Japan. "Japanese girls have no use for clutches because they just go to the clubs right after work. They are so different from New York. Stylewise, colorwise, stylewise. It's very youth-oriented. I'm designing for women between the ages of 20 and 40... But in Japan, after 25, it's like, basically, you're dead." [NYMag]

• "Now that I've been modeling some, I can actually stand in high heels—at least for a night." Oh, Hagyness. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Meanwhile, poor Erin Wasson broke her foot running in stilettos while shooting the ad campaign for Justin Timberlake's clothing line, William Rast. Doctors say her bones were fragile due to the amount of time she has spent in her life in heels. Ouch. [NYMag]
• Are you ready for Tuesday night's Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala? [Is that a trick question? -Moe] The theme is superheroes because "the superhero is the overarching metaphor for fashion, because both share this obsession with the body, identity and transformation." [WWD, sub req'd]
• No actually, explains Diane Von Furstenberg, superheroes are just super-trendy right now. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Poor Nicole Fahri was mugged at knifepoint outside her home! [Mirror UK]
• "My wife and I had a great time just sitting and going through things and working on what we liked the best...I would love to see her have a fragrance, and us to have one together — a unisex fragrance. That would be wonderful. She's a lot more expensive than I am." Tim McGraw on his new eponymous fragrance and his oft-PhotoShopped wife, Faith Hill. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Virtual Christian Siriano prom dresses? We're confused. Explain this to us, please. [Gaia]
• Oscar de la Renta shot his Fall/WInter 2008 ad campaign at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in San Diego. Which is, um, really random and has nothing to do with polio? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Is former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane doing a line for Diesel? Eh, probs. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Naomi Watts is the new face of Thierry Mugler's Angel fragrance. We are so happy for her. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Martin Margiela is trying to go mainstream. Have you never heard of him? Well, that's cause he's so not mainstream. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Chuck Close, Jeff Koons, Marilyn Minter, Kiki Smith, Cai Guo-Qiang, Barbara Kruger, Ashley Bickerton, Kenny Scharf, Glenn Ligon, Rirkrit Tiravanija, Kerry James Marshall, Hanna Liden and Sarah Sze are all collaborating with the Gap on a series of t-shirts. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Elie Tahari is collaborating with artist Kenny Scharf, too. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Alice Temperely: Showing in London come September for the first time in six seasons. Buh-bye, New York. [Vogue UK]
• Colin McDowell, fashion editor of The Sunday Times of London, is leaving the paper to become creative editor-at-large of Net-a-Porter and spearhead its original editorial content. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Revlon: In debt. But less so now than before. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Elizabeth Arden: Profits are down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Same goes for Bebe. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Steve Madden! Hmmm, I wonder what it all means? [Crain's]

• OMG: Rachel Zoe has been disinvited from the Anna Wintour-hosted Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala, taking place Monday night in New York. This is what you get when you tempt the gods and proclaim yourself more important than Vogue. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Also, Wintour has instructed Vogue staffers that they may only wear white, silver, or other "pale shades." Just like the colors of faces that she likes to see on her magazine's cover! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld and designer/Chanel creative director "Krazy" Karl Lagerfeld were both named to the Time 100 List, as influential members of the fashion community. Something about the way they both made fashion about "the street" or something. [Vogue UK]
  
• Gisele Bundchen is still the top-paid model, according to Forbes. Heidi Klum is the second. Take that, Moss. [Sassybella]

• Agyness Deyn: The mannequin. [BlackBook]
• The Rogan for Target collection is also going to be sold at Barneys. Which is not Target at all. [WSJ]
• Steve & Barry's is going to be shilling Sex and the City movie merchandise, which will be licensed for the store under Sarah Jessica Parker's "Bitten" label. [Sassybella]
• Uh oh: Seems the women behind the red carpet label Marchesa are having a bit of a tiff. While Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig used to be knows as the label's "co-designers", their titles have been changed on their website: Chapman is now listed as "designer" and Craig is noted as "co-founder." [Page Six]
• Dockers: Trying to reach out to the hip and the young. LOL. [MediaPost]
• Christian Siriano: Designed a dress for Puma. [Chic Report]
• Helena Christensen on why she loves photographer Peter Lindbergh: "Even when I looked pretty funny back in the day with my baby fat, perm, and hippie clothes, he put me on the cover of British Vogue!" Oh, models. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The latest beauty tool you didn't know you needed: An eyelash comb. [BellaSugar]
• The Versace resort in Dubai is... sorta exactly what you would expect a Versace resort in Dubai to be. [Chic Report]
• Diane von Furstenberg, Dolce & Gabbana, Oscar de la Renta, Akira Isogawa, the members of Coldplay, Jeff Koons, Philippe Starck and Tory Burch have all been asked to create "themes" for iGoogle's new customized homepage thingies. [Sassybella]
• Vanessa Paradis: The new face of Miu Miu? [Glaumrama]
• Calvin Klein went on a little field trip to Dubai last week. Blah blah, models behind plexiglass. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jones New York: Stock is up, profits are down. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kohl's: Gonna slow down its expansion plan 'cause their scared of the economy. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• If you want to wear a pantsuit, make sure it's not double-breasted. [WSJ]
• Blue's Clues's: The shoes — at a Payless near you. [BrandWeek]

• Frances Bean Cobain is rumored to be the next face of Chanel. That's hot. And also crazy. Oh, Karl. [Vogue UK]
  
• Louis Vuitton has postponed indefinitely its "China Run" car rally, which was originally scheduled to take place in late May with a route from Chengdu and Kunming. Reason? Um, it's not exactly cool to be supporting China's blatant disregard for human rights right now and France is all pissed re: the Olympics etc etc. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also, Yohji Yamamoto wants to teach China about Peace and improve relations though the country and his native Japan through his new Yohji Yamamoto Fund For Peace. This will mainly involve fashion shows. Of course. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Also China's on the warning list for counterfeiting shit. Oh, China. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Tommy Hilfiger, ambiguously racist? Says the designer, "[W]e feel that with our European-influenced approach, the sophisticated and higher level of quality and fashion somehow reaches the type of people who represent the brand very well... Ten years ago it was positioned with a lot of red, white and blue and a lot of logos and you would look at these street kids wearing the clothes as billboards." [FT]

• Elle still hasn't confirmed that fashion director Nina Garcia was fired, but Nina's assistants, Jade Frampton and Malina Joseph, just got big promotions, with Frampton taking the title of market editor and Joseph that of bookings editor. Senior style editor Kate Lanphear has been promoted to style director and rumors abound that she might be up for the fashion director gig herself. Can someone tell us the difference between a style director and a fashion director? The real difference, that is? That's what we thought. [WWD, 4th item]
• Um, but these promotions seem to be a result of the fact that bookings editor Claudine Ingeniri and market editor Helane Crowell have left the magazine. Associate art director Florence Sicard has also left. [WWD, 4th item]
• Anna Wintour's new assistant is named Claiborne Swanson. She comes from the Swanson-as-in-chicken-breasts family. Also, she must be a masochist to have taken this job. [NYMag]
• Okay, so here's what the rumor mill is reporting regarding who will come with whom at next Monday's Costume Institute Gala, hosted by George Clooney, Julie Roberts, and Anna Wintour: Giorgio Armani with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez with Alberta Ferretti, Kate Bosworth with Chanel, and Eva Mendes, Rachel Bilson and Fergie with Calvin Klein. Mariah Carey, Renée Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Moss, Mary J. Blige, Claire Danes, Mischa Barton, LeBron James, Valentino, Tom Ford, Domenico Dolce, Stefano Gabbana and Donatella Versace will all be there too. [WWD, 1st item]
• The Wall Street Journal names Proenza Schouler, Peter Som, Zac Posen, Rodarte, Derek Lam, 3.1 Phillip Lim and Tuleh as the seven young designers to watch because they're thisclose to breaking mainstream. Um, they already have. Way to be up on the times, WSJ. [WSJ]
• Deep thoughts with Entourage's Emmanuelle Chirqui, "Why not wear something fabulous and save the environment at the same time?" [WWD, 2nd item]
• Rami Kashou: You can buy it online! [Sassybella
• Glasses are hot, Lasik eye surgery be damned. [WSJ]
• Men: Wearing jewelry. [LATimes]
• High-heeled Crocs: Oh. God. [Crocs]

• Does Anna Wintour love Amy Winehouse even more than Karl Lagerfeld does? Word on the street is that the singer who wouldn't go to rehab only to go to rehab has been offered $1 million to play at the Wintour-hosted Costume Institute Gala. But a rep says that can't be true since the Costume Institute Gala is supposed to be, you know, a benefit. For the children probably! [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Some outfit called the New Enthusiasm is spoofing Marc Jacobs and Juergen Teller, the guy who shoots all those ads of his, with John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg, and now everyone is wondering what could possibly be the motive behind such a peculiar stunt. We have no earthly idea! That is why we present you with this hyperlink, so you can further ponder what it all means. [Sassybella]
  
• Anya Hindmarch's London flagship was burgled last night, the second robbery the store has experienced in the past year. Can you think of a handbag designer whose inventory you would covet less than Anya's? Because I'm having trouble. [Vogue UK]
  
• Oh god, you know, just when this industry's political statements could not get any more absurd: Agent Provacateur's "Fair Trial My Arse" underwear. [Sassybella]
  
• Also, the rumors aren't true: Katie Homes is not designing for Armani. [E!]

• Model Lauren Bush's most trauma-ramatic moment? "[O]ne Passover when we were on Coney Island, New York, where lots of conservative Jews live. It was a swimwear shoot, but luckily the theme was Fifties so nothing was too scandalous. Anyway, a crowd of Hasidic teenagers surrounded the camera. I was so embarrassed, I felt like I was corrupting them on a religious holiday." [Times of London]
• Nordstrom is going green. And if you thought this wouldn't somehow involve a "collaboration" with a fancy designer you'd never heard of to design a reusable (and collectible!) shopping tote, well you would be wrong. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Alexander McQueen, hellbent on world domination, is showing not only in Paris, but in a mini-show in New York next week. [Vogue UK]
• Designer Adam Lippes is turning his Meatpacking District NYC store into an outpost for the ASPCA April 4-6, when the only thing you'll be able to do in the store is adopt a pooch who needs a good home. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Lululemon, the yogawear line that got into all that trouble when they said their garments were made of seaweed and, then, er, they weren't, is now issuing a line of running clothes which they claim contain sensors built into the garment that serve as a heart rate monitor. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Banana Republic is doing a limited edition eco-friendly collection of clothes in honor of Earth Day, on sale during the month of April. Um, what about the 11 other months in a year? [WWD, 1st item]
• And Club Monaco is issuing its first-ever swimwear collection, but it has absolutely nothing to do with Earth Day. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Philip Lim: Doing a trench coat for Coach. Yawn. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Designer Jasper Conran is moving on up: The Queen has tapped him to become an Officer of the British Empire. [Vogue UK]
• Expensive shit alert: A diamond-bedecked faucet! [Chic Report]
• And, um, Gmail: The Soap? [Chic Report]

• Georgio Armani is co-chairing a dinner to celebrate a Vogue-sponsored Costume Institute exhibit called "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." Which is why he gave a press conference during which he professed to be "indifferent" to Anna Wintour while standing next to her. We assume he'll be too dead to make it to dinner. [NY Mag]
  
• Then again: the shocking new garment industry tell-all Gomorrah says Italian fashion is really just the Mafia so maybe Georgio knows what he's doing. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Model Gemma Ward's film debut The Black Balloon takes top prize at he Berlin Festival. [Sassybella]

• I grow increasingly obsessed with Victoria Beckham and Marc Jacobs as each new ad starring Posh as the face of MJ's Spring 2008 collection is revealed. Vicks as a naughty dark angel? Love. [Chic Report]
• Project Runway bitch slap! Chris Marc says Christian Siriano is going to be designing for K-Mart soon enough. [AdAge]
• Eva Herzigova: Doesn't need a swimwear line now that she has a son. "[The line] was my little baby. But since I have my own now, it's really hard to follow... Unless I get a license deal, I don't think I'll do it." See ladies, if your career is as pointless/lucrative as modeling and celebrity guest design, you don't have to feel any guilt about giving it up to have babies! [WWD, 3rd item]
• Hayden Panettierre is the new face of Candie's footwear. [Sassybella]
• Ooh la la! Former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane is going to be shooting the haute couture collections for French Vogue. [WWD, 4th item]
• 15-year old Russian designer Kira Plastinina on who she hopes to see in her designs, "I like Paris, I like Vanessa Hudgens, I like the High School Musical girls, and Rihanna. I love Rihanna." [Chic Report]
• Yves Saint Laurent is once again pretending that advertising is political activism. [Vogue UK]
• A line of body shapers called Yummie Tummie. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The British fashion industry is blaming its second-tier status in the fashion world on the absence of enough factories to produce its wares. Uh...because Jakarta and Dhaka are totally the new fashion capitals. [Reuters] [WWD, sub req'd]

• Celebrity stylist and stylist-cum-celebrity Rachel Zoe is rumored to forbid designers who loan her pieces from loaning them out to competing clients, but Zoe denies so we're gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. [NYP]
  
• "I have high anxiety from having two teenagers who tell me I have no taste. I love them, and even though they insult me, and make fun of me, it is what it is," says Vera Wang. Um, who taught your daughters to talk to their mother that way? [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Dean and Dan Caten, the twin bros who design DSquared, are going to be exclusively styling the America's Next Top Model contestants for cycle 10. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• George Clooney and Julia Roberts will be joining Anna Wintour in chairing the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual gala this year. Oh, so that's why George looks like he's lost so much weight lately? He's Anna-rexing? [Vogue UK]

• Designer Dries van Noten in this month's Details magazine: "David Beckham - he's trying very hard. I'm not so fond of his look, but I think a lot of people consider it extremely stylish. So who am I to say it's unstylish? I'm not a dictator." Aw! [Sassybella]
• Consider this a Jezebel PSA: "There is no such thing as an organic pair of jeans. It's not just about the fabric. It's what happens after you wash it," Mel Matsui, founder of denim line Christopher Blue. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Status property ventures are the new status meals are the new status bags? Giorgio Armani unveiled the residences bearing his name in Dubai yesterday, just after revealing his plans for an Armani hotel and resort in Marrakech. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Fashion Week in Moscow vs. Russian Fashion Week: We'll err on the side of Putin! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kate Moss to make cameo appearance in British soap opera EastEnders! Report back to us, British Jezzies! [Vogue UK]
• Hans Stern, who created the jewelry line H.Stern, died Friday in Brazil at age 85. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Whoah: Control top thong. [FabSugar]

• Paris Hilton has rehired the publicist she just fired for misleading her into thinking that the legal document she sihned (sic!) meant she couldn't drive for 45 days if she could actually read it. Also, Paris has appealed to Governator Arnold for leniency, though we hear it's only because she got him mixed up with David Hasselhoff. [Reuters]
• OMG! We totally thought Madonna and Guy Richie were this, like, picture of domestic bliss and selfless congugal harmony, and then the British tabloid press comes along and totally robs us of our illusions. [News of the World]
• Quiz! Scarlett Johansson, Kid Rock, Tara Conner and Naomi Watts all attended which of the following celebrity clusterfucks: The Kentucky Derby and the annual Costume Institute thing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. [New York Post]

• For all those dedicated media consumers who may wrongly not give a shit about Ty Pennington anymore: Pennington refers to drunk driving arrest as a "wake-up call." [FoxNews]
• And speaking of self-medicating gays, George Michael calls his own driving-while-fucked-up arrest "my own stupid fault as usual." [Guardian]
• As if you needed another reason to swoon for Orlando Bloom: He always has "all this cough syrup" on hand. [Gatecrasher]