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New York, 9:45 AM
Thu Nov 12
67 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/11/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Okay ladies, I have news for you. If the best way you have to communicate romantic interest with your current boyfriend is by yanking out his wang when he least expects it and then flapping it all over your face, you need to rethink the relatuionship, because your current boyfriend is either dead, gay or a dead gay*.

    *The last applicable chiefly to the cast of "Twilight."
     Reply
    Edited by RollsRoyceRevenge at 11/11/09 12:55 AM RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Next month's Cosmo:

    Drink Your Way to Buns of Steel

    Why Black is the New Black and Shoes Are the New Jesus

    Yes, You Can Spend the Month's Rent on Two Items of Underwear!

    Feeling Like a Fat Fucking Pig? New Fruit Drinks You'll Hate!

    A Dirty Sanchez He'll Always Remember!

    Liz Cheney Gets Down and Dirty

    Your Uncle Totally Wanted You!
     Reply
    Edited by RollsRoyceRevenge at 11/10/09 7:55 PM RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Men want campy 80's hardcore cover bands... #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of andromache andromache
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I read this post as I was inflating a stability ball with a hand pump. it occurs to me that it's only a matter of time before Cosmo does a feature on how you can improve your handjob skills by inflating exercise balls. let me tell you, I've learned to use the big muscles before engaging the small muscles. I'll let you know how it goes next time this pumping technique is needed. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    andromache was starred andromache was unstarred
    Image of token_illiterate_commenter token_illiterate_commenter
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I love these articles. They're always good for a good belly laugh. Men are talked about like we're some sort of monolithic block. Like we all like the same things done by the same kind of women. What complete and utter bullshit. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    token_illiterate_commenter was starred token_illiterate_commenter was unstarred
    Image of Misiula Misiula
    11/10/09

    @token_illiterate_commenter: Just like women are talked about in Men's Health and similar mags. It's all useless in its monolithic projections. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    token_illiterate_commenter promoted this comment Misiula was starred Misiula was unstarred
    Image of token_illiterate_commenter token_illiterate_commenter
    11/10/09

    @Misiula: Exactly. These magazines put forward a simplistic image of the opposite sex because it makes their jobs easier. Otherwise they'd have to write articles with depth and thought. That's way too much to ask. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    token_illiterate_commenter was starred token_illiterate_commenter was unstarred
    Image of Isoperla Isoperla
    11/10/09

    @token_illiterate_commenter: my favorite part of all of this is that at cosmo it's women just randomly making shit up about what they think guys like (he'll go crazy when you nibble him during fellatio!), and at men's health it's a bunch of guys making shit up about what women want (ram her hard!). #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    token_illiterate_commenter promoted this comment Isoperla was starred Isoperla was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/11/09

    @token_illiterate_commenter: Dude, you take this line of comment any further, and I'm afraid the next Manly-Man Meeting won't go very well for you. Always plenty of applicants queued up for an open space, you know. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of redqueenmeg redqueenmeg
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I've never been to a bachelorette party. Look what I must be missing! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    redqueenmeg was starred redqueenmeg was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I'm guessing Fergie may be regretting that comment given recent gossip about her spouse... #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of Sputnik_Sweetheart Sputnik_Sweetheart
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I think it would be hard to maintain eye contact if you are rubbing his member on all over your face. Methinks someone at Cosmo needs a lesson in human anatomy. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Sputnik_Sweetheart was starred Sputnik_Sweetheart was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    What his hug reveals:
    1. The Big Bear Hug: Sorry ladies, he prefers hairy barrel-shaped men!

    2. The Side Arm Half Hug: To get this douche more often, douche more often - He's worried about germs down THERE

    3. Spoon Hug: He's practicing for later tonight, when you make love in a new and exciting place: up the butt! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of Tchotchke Tchotchke
    11/10/09

    @funzette: I always figured most male acquaintances awkwardly hugged women in a poor attempt to feel them up. The more you know! :::rainbow::: #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred
    Image of Never_Nude Never_Nude
    11/10/09

    @funzette: Wow, when you describe these, they sound all weird and non-consenual! Rapey, even. It reminds me of how I often have to love on my cats, in a nonconsensual way--I call it "forceful love externally applied." #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Never_Nude was starred Never_Nude was unstarred
    Image of formergr formergr
    11/10/09

    @Never_Nude: Or as the Engineer's Guide to Cats terms it, "Corporal Cuddling". #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    formergr was starred formergr was unstarred
    Image of formergr formergr
    11/10/09

    @formergr: Trying again... #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    formergr was starred formergr was unstarred
    Image of alula alula
    11/10/09

    @formergr: Oh, God, I love that video. Especially the little paw that comes up when he's dishing out the tuna. . . #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    formergr promoted this comment alula was starred alula was unstarred
    Image of formergr formergr
    11/10/09

    @alula: Oh totally! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    formergr was starred formergr was unstarred
    Image of Cerridwen Cerridwen
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I am only interested in the Sexy Party hairtsyles if they are modelled by Stewie Griffin. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Cerridwen was starred Cerridwen was unstarred
    Image of Scout Scout
    11/10/09

    @Cerridwen: promoted! promoted! promoted! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Scout was starred Scout was unstarred
    Image of Tchotchke Tchotchke
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I am going to practice my sneaking up on men and grabbing their penises technique tonight on my way home. Wish me luck, ladies! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred
    Image of Leucadia Leucadia
    11/10/09

    @Tchotchke: Men waiting for buses will be easy to catch unawares! Sexy public assault! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    bluetrain84 promoted this comment Leucadia was starred Leucadia was unstarred
    Image of whats_in_a_name whats_in_a_name
    11/10/09

    @Tchotchke: Thanks for the warning, i'll be sure to wear my cup if i'm out at all tonight #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    whats_in_a_name was starred whats_in_a_name was unstarred
    Image of Scoithniamh Scoithniamh
    11/10/09

    @Tchotchke: I hope you come home with some great fellatio! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Scoithniamh was starred Scoithniamh was unstarred
    Image of pesematology pesematology
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Now I'm watching the section of "Spin the Bottle" about how alcohol is used by women to resolve the virgin/whore dichotomy pressures. Has some of that same cute guy talking who did Tough Guise, too. You guys keep posting about what I'm watching at the moment. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    pesematology was starred pesematology was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I read that headline and can only think of Drake Rogers from Strangers with Candy: "Wow, a virgin whore!" #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of GreyEminence GreyEminence
    11/10/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go powder my newly-pure nether regions. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite promoted this comment GreyEminence was starred GreyEminence was unstarred
    Image of Margaret Margaret
    11/10/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: Well, the word "fatties" was meant to be read in a Jerri Blank voice. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Margaret was starred Margaret was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    11/10/09

    @GreyEminence: In next month's Cosmo, guest columnist Jerri Blank will teach readers how to stay "moist as a snack cake down there." #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    11/10/09

    @Margaret: But my vagina's all... puffy. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    11/10/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: That's what they really want. They're just too afraid to say so. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    In Italy, Catholic boys are raised to believe that there are two types of women: the Madonna and the whore.

    So that's why my relationship with that Sicilian guy sucked so much. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    11/10/09

    @morninggloria: Yeah, I guess according to them Swiss Catholics might be raised to believe something else.
    One of the innumerable reasons I feel justified appreciating Roger so much. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    11/10/09


    @Rooo sez BISH PLZ: #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    11/10/09

    @morninggloria: Never show tits to a Sicilian when sex is on the line.
     Reply
    Edited by jigglyball at 11/10/09 2:56 PM jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    11/10/09


    @Rooo sez BISH PLZ: #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
    11/10/09

    @jigglyball: Only slightly less known than never get involved in a land war in Asia. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was starred Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/10/09

    @Rooo sez BISH PLZ: knock it off! I'm trying to work here (sort of)!

    Jeez. Whew. Is that a hot flash or is it just warm in here? #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    11/10/09

    @sybann: Heh. It's just Roger. The ambient temperature just goes up when either he or Rafa is around. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I am really appreciating Cosmo's "Ode to 40 Years of the Muppets". Fergie's supposed to be Janice, right? #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
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