• Jezebel
  • celebrity
  • sex
  • fashion
  • Profile logout login

#cosmodecember09coverlies#writerandreadernotablequotesgreatpoemsonlineaspx

Jezebel

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #tips,
  • #snapjudgment,
  • #groupthink,
  • etc.

New York, 8:33 PM
Sat Dec 5
34 posts in the last 24 hours

Tip your editors:

Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
| Twitter

Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
| Twitter

Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
| Twitter

Contributing Editors:
Anna North
| Twitter
Sadie Stein
| Twitter

Reporter:
Irin Carmon
| Twitter

Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
| Twitter

Contributors:
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Latoya Peterson
Email
Jenna Sauers

Lizzie Skurnick

Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter


Weekends/Commenter Moderator:
Hortense
| Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1770 Subscribers
Jezebel
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of scarlet_shoegal scarlet_shoegal
    11/11/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    This for me pretty much sums up the difference between the 'stuff' marketed to men and women...
    [www.youtube.com] #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton promoted this comment scarlet_shoegal was starred scarlet_shoegal was unstarred
    Image of DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
    11/11/09

    @scarlet_shoegal: I <3 you for posting that link. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton was starred DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton was unstarred
    Image of camera_obscura camera_obscura
    11/11/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    My favorite guy article in Cosmo will forever be the one about the guy with the big dick that was a "toy" for his friends, and how once he realized he was well-endowed all the boys wanted to be close to him, and wanted to see it, and nicknamed it, and drove potential suitors away by demeaning them for liking big penises.... and got jealous when he got into a serious relationship with a woman and no longer brought it out to entertain them... #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    skahammer promoted this comment camera_obscura was starred camera_obscura was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/11/09

    @camera_obscura: I think I speak for most of my gender when I say...uh, what? #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of ImperfectLit.Woman ImperfectLit.Woman
    11/14/09

    @camera_obscura: Why does that sound like a begining for a bad porno to me? #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    ImperfectLit.Woman was starred ImperfectLit.Woman was unstarred
    Image of camera_obscura camera_obscura
    11/14/09

    @skahammer: this one

    In Cosmo, it's real! I think this was not written by a man at all, and by an editor... so fkn hilarious! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    camera_obscura was starred camera_obscura was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/11/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Okay ladies, I have news for you. If the best way you have to communicate romantic interest with your current boyfriend is by yanking out his wang when he least expects it and then flapping it all over your face, you need to rethink the relatuionship, because your current boyfriend is either dead, gay or a dead gay*.

    *The last applicable chiefly to the cast of "Twilight."
     Reply
    Edited by RollsRoyceRevenge at 11/11/09 12:55 AM RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of Mayor Squeakerton Mayor Squeakerton
    11/11/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    "Show Your Enthusiasm By Rubbing His Dick On Your Face" just made my night. and I think my boyfriend laughed just as hard as I did. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge promoted this comment Mayor Squeakerton was starred Mayor Squeakerton was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/11/09

    @Sara Anne: That was the original title of the popular Larry David show, but Cavett could only guest star the once. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of unionjgirl unionjgirl
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I love the idea that I should make sure I eat so that the guy doesn't think I'll get fat later. Newsflash: shouldn't I not be bothering to impress someone shallow enough to be worrying about whether I'll get fat if we get married? #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment unionjgirl was starred unionjgirl was unstarred
    Image of himgene himgene
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    "massage his tip all over your upper body — lips, cheeks, breasts — all while maintaining eye contact."

    I swear this is written by porn producers. Next up is slapping his D on your face and/or ladybits while grimacing with 'pleasure'... #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Alys Brangwin can't stop the beat promoted this comment himgene was starred himgene was unstarred
    Image of theunsinkable! theunsinkable!
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Oh, and I feel compelled to add that I have managed to entirely stop buying the ladymags since reading Jez on the reg! So much easier to resist when I know that there is just crappy and weird sex tips & ads cover to cover. Although I knew this before, sometimes I get a weird urge to buy one anyway. Love these sarcastic recaps, so good. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    theunsinkable! was starred theunsinkable! was unstarred
    Image of Faster.Pussycat Faster.Pussycat
    11/10/09

    @theunsinkable!: The sex tips on Jez are MUCH better. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment Faster.Pussycat was starred Faster.Pussycat was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/11/09

    @Faster.Pussycat: The sex tips on the bathroom walls at the bus station are much better. GIVE IT TOO ME HARD BABAY has at least the virtue of brevity. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of Sir Sir
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Did they specify exactly how much lotion one should put on one's nipples before dragging them across one's boyfriend's chest? A teaspoon? A drop? A smear? Two cups? What if one's boyfriend has a great deal of chest hair? What kind of lotion works best? Should one rub one's boyfriend's dick-tip over one's lotioned nipples? To rub in the lotion perhaps? #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge promoted this comment Sir was starred Sir was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/11/09

    @Sir: Gives new meaning to the phrase "or else it gets the hose again." #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Next month's Cosmo:

    Drink Your Way to Buns of Steel

    Why Black is the New Black and Shoes Are the New Jesus

    Yes, You Can Spend the Month's Rent on Two Items of Underwear!

    Feeling Like a Fat Fucking Pig? New Fruit Drinks You'll Hate!

    A Dirty Sanchez He'll Always Remember!

    Liz Cheney Gets Down and Dirty

    Your Uncle Totally Wanted You!
     Reply
    Edited by RollsRoyceRevenge at 11/10/09 7:55 PM RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of Friday Friday
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Let me guess, Fergie, you're also:

    a) A bitch.
    b) A lover.
    c) A child.
    d) A mother.
    e) A sinner.
    f) A saint.
    g) All of the above. (And, for the record, you do not feel ashamed.) #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel promoted this comment Friday was starred Friday was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    11/11/09

    @Friday: You are mistaken about her being a lover.

    She is also not your friend.

    She is something that you'll never comprehend.

    No need to worry.

    No need to cry.

    Shed pounds by first burning calories by masturbating vigorously with a cucumber, then eating it as a healthful salad! #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Men want campy 80's hardcore cover bands... #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of sarasasa sarasasa
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    Cosmo's sex tips are really getting gross. The phone thing is great though "-WHAT THE FUU...OOOH SO GOO... NO, NOT YOU MOM" #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    cirocco promoted this comment sarasasa was starred sarasasa was unstarred
    Image of andromache andromache
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    I read this post as I was inflating a stability ball with a hand pump. it occurs to me that it's only a matter of time before Cosmo does a feature on how you can improve your handjob skills by inflating exercise balls. let me tell you, I've learned to use the big muscles before engaging the small muscles. I'll let you know how it goes next time this pumping technique is needed. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    andromache was starred andromache was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    The amount of things that Cosmo wants you to do while "looking him in the eye" is mind-boggling. While you're rubbing his junk on your face, while you're performing fellatio, while you're hiding all of your pesky bitchy feelings and talking about his day... Hold on, I need some Visine. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    curiousgeorgiana promoted this comment KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of ToUnfoldThem ToUnfoldThem
    11/10/09

    @KikiCanuck: You just made me laugh out loud at work, and now I'm trying to explain a women's magazine cover to my male manager. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    ToUnfoldThem was starred ToUnfoldThem was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    11/10/09

    @ToUnfoldThem: Well, I just hope you're looking him in the eye. Apparently he'll be so turned on he'll forget that you're browsing lady-blogs at work. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense!
    11/10/09

    In reply to Cosmo: Men Want Virgins & Whores, No Fatties
    How exactly does one come back with great fellatio? Does she carry it in her mouth and then deposit it on his penis while she's able to actually get some work done. Because if so I would like to learn that trick.

    I'm not even all that good at writing and I'm like "that's awkward and should be rephrased." But I suppose when you're making up all those quotes and "facts" it's hard to find the time to actually edit. #cosmodecember09coverlies
     Reply
    Political Party Girl promoted this comment Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was starred Lizard in the Wires - synthesizer signals suspense! was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jezebel account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.