Cosmo - Jezebel

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Fun, Fearless, Female
November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Self Editor: Photoshopped Mags Just Giving Women What They Want
Woman's World: Essence & Cosmo Make "A-List"
Cosmo: Powerful Women Use Their Vaginas, Not Their Voices
Cosmo: Wear Your Dirty Panties Around Your Ponytail
Ladymags Doing Poorly On Newsstands
Cosmo: Make His Junk Look Like A Face
Cosmo: Summer Time Is Science Time
Katy Perry Is Not An "Orgasm Whisperer"…

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ErinGoBawl
10/23/09

In reply to Fun, Fearless, Female
I like to imagine that Jennifer now has a picture of the entire Jezebel staff huddling behind a camera. They're discussing creative titles and running them by Anna, who is opening her laptop. They are all incognito in big sunglasses and looking like a Carmen Sandiego. #jenniferhudson
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lisas
10/23/09

@ErinGoBawl: Carmen was always reliably stylish in her trench, hat, and oversize glasses.

I'd love to see a celebrity-created photo-essay of what it looks like, being followed by a flock of photographers. Whenever I see a photo where you can see the crowd of them I always get sympathy anxiety. Also I think it would be eye-opening. #jenniferhudson
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Superrrdupa
10/23/09

In reply to Fun, Fearless, Female
Jennifer - may I call you Jennifer? Fine, fine, Miss Hudson if I'm nasty.

WHERE do you get jeans like this? There are no jeans in the world that actually fit curvy women without creating rolls that were never there in the first place. Please share your magic, oh curvy one. #jenniferhudson
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andheartss haz it
10/23/09

@Superrrdupa: Seriously...jeans that sit nicely on the waist, hug the hips perfectly AND don't become big and baggy from the knees down?

That. I need it. #jenniferhudson
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lisas
10/23/09

@andheartss haz it: I have a pair of "curvy" levis and they fit the bill - no spillage over a too-tight too-low waistband (which is the fault of the GARMENT not the BODY WEARING IT *coughpetpeevecough*), sit comfortably on my thighs, flattering on my calf (I am picky about this as I have excellent calves and want everyone to know it).

She looks amazing in this picture. Whatta babe. #jenniferhudson
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Hana Maru
10/21/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Men fucking love to cuddle. They can't get enough of it. #november09cosmopolitan
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CherriSpryte
10/21/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
I read "Touch his most uncomfortable spots: Hint: These tips rhyme with numb" and spent several seconds thinking "wait, thumbs are sexy now? that's a thing? WHAT am I supposed to do with his thumb?"
Then I realized you meant the tips were dumb, not that hot thumb action was all the rage. #november09cosmopolitan
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Dorilys
10/21/09

@CherriSpryte: I had the same thought. #november09cosmopolitan
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shailie.thakkar004
10/20/09

In reply to Self Editor: Photoshopped Mags Just Giving Women What They Want
She's just challenging American female readers. For my own part I have always accepted this challenge--I have never purchased a women's fashion or 'health' magazine.
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sarasasa
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
May I suggest a drinking a drinking game? Buy a copy of Cosmo, open a sex article and have a drink after every euphemism for the words "Penis" and "Orgasm". Two for "The Big Oh". #november09cosmopolitan
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Aidan_
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Bondage where I can get away? Fie, I say! My girlfriend keeps me bound up until she's good and ready to let go. #november09cosmopolitan
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Snowbunny
10/20/09

@Aidan_: And, thus, the point!

Where is the excitement when you are in no danger of being abandoned for hours at a time if the bonder suddenly dies? #november09cosmopolitan
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geekgirlliz
10/20/09

@Aidan_: Yeah! What you said!

Besides which, any struggling with a slip-knot and you might compress nerves, lose circulation etc. #november09cosmopolitan
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geekgirlliz
10/20/09

@Snowbunny: It's actually pretty hard to tie people in such a way that they really can't escape in an emergency. #november09cosmopolitan
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aimeeg
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
I think there's some pretty strange photoshop colouring going on in her breastal area... they've made her chest look very white and her breasts look a lot darker... #november09cosmopolitan
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Katxyz
10/20/09

@aimeeg:

Shading on top and into the center makes your breasts look larger. You can even buy makeup bronzing kits with instructions.

Victoria's Secret makes all of its models breasts about 10 shades darker in every photo. #november09cosmopolitan
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aimeeg
10/21/09

@Katxyz: Is there a make up trick to make them look smaller? *sad face #november09cosmopolitan
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Hana Maru
10/20/09

In reply to Self Editor: Photoshopped Mags Just Giving Women What They Want
I like buying magazines and I like getting them in the mail, but I've canceled the subscriptions I had and I rarely buy them off the rack anymore because of the sorry content and the obsession with unreal thinness. Most of them are the same shit, month after month.

So, since women's magazines are struggling with readership across the board, why don't editors conclude that we ARE voting with our dollars for less lies and less bullshit? #maghag
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Mushu_the_educated_whale
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Guys don't like push up bras eh Cosmo?
I am a waitress and I did a little social experiment. 2 nights in a row I worked the same (extremely busy) shift/section. Night #1 I wore a concert t-shirt and a sports bra. Night #2 I wore a push up bra and a low cut pink shirt.

I made almost 3x as much in tips on night #2 and I did almost the exact same amount of sales.

Why lie Cosmo?! WHY!?!?

I just don't get it. How does making women feel bad about themselves sell magazines? How do the people who are responsible for this sleep at night? #november09cosmopolitan
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freckles
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
It's always a story about how men are bored with women and how we need to transform ourselves into desirable beings. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and yeah, we've been there done that with each other, so every time we have sex it's not all "OMG, your hot naked body!" but we're both still turned on and excited by each other. I'm sure he's not having a cathartic experience every time I'm naked in front of him now, just as I'm not having one when he's naked in front of me. Cosmo makes it seems like it's something women should be fearful of, like, "My fiance doesn't love my naked body anymore" ::sob::. Fuck you Cosmo, it's a natural part of a relationship to get comfortable and familiar with one another, and not bored, but just craving some creativity and change. That's when the fun begins! Cosmo just needs to pull at women's insecurities to sell magazines. Also, not only do men look at porn to satisfy their need for variety, but guess what world, so do women. I think Jezebel had a story on that a few days ago.
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment Edited by freckles at 10/20/09 4:43 PM freckles was starred freckles was unstarred

MissNormaDesmond
10/20/09

@freckles: But if you're not freaked out about your inadequacies, you won't need to read a magazine about how to fix them, or buy products that will camouflage them. Get with the program. It's trickle-down self-hatred, and it's what makes this country run. #november09cosmopolitan
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MissNormaDesmond
10/20/09

@MissNormaDesmond: Crap. This was meant to be a response to the next comment up. #november09cosmopolitan
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sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell
10/20/09

In reply to Self Editor: Photoshopped Mags Just Giving Women What They Want
I don't buy these pathetic magazines, and I haven't since my new year's resolution made when I was 15. I am STILL waiting for everyone to catch up with me! #maghag
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Edited by sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell at 10/20/09 4:19 PM

tigolbitties
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims

just saying, guys do not instantly notice fake lashes, hair or boobs - or at least lets hope not for kim zolciak's sake! #november09cosmopolitan
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winner
10/20/09

@tigolbitties: Hahaha! My boyfriend and his best friend are repulsed by her and are unnaturally vocal about it. I mean, it's the Housewives and if they've taught us anything, it's that there is no limit to the amount of silicone, saline or botox one can put in their body. Also, "rich" people get evicted, too. #november09cosmopolitan
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ImperfectLit.Woman
10/20/09

@tigolbitties: that's funny and should I be worried that I love that dress she has on? My brothers are repulsed by all the women in the Housewives franchise and can't see why any men would be with them. #november09cosmopolitan
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cand86
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Okay, it's always nice when a little bit of kink works its way into the narrative, even if it is in Cosmo.

But what kills me is the lack of any safety . . . like the fact that thin scarves are HORRIBLE for bondage, if not downright dangerous. #november09cosmopolitan
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Liz668
10/20/09

@cand86: why are they dangerous? #november09cosmopolitan
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RiloKilo
10/20/09

@cand86: Not to be argumentative, but how are they dangerous? At least in the picture, it looks like the man is tied to a bed by the wrists while laying on his back... I don't really see what could happen. Maybe if you were hanging from the ceiling or by your neck or something? #november09cosmopolitan
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elliebean
10/20/09

@RiloKilo: I think the reason scarves are dangerous (as compared to, say rope) is due to the fact that they can cut off circulation more easily, or slip more easily if not tied correctly. Rope is thicker and can be tied tightly without cutting off circulation. It's mainly dangerous to use scarves if the person tying them doesn't know to check for signs of damage. Thicker, not satiny scarves are safer. I think it might have been wise for cosmo to put in a little box explaining how to check for damage (blue skin, deep indents in skin etc.), if they didn't already. #november09cosmopolitan
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elliebean
10/20/09

@elliebean: I don't see my edit thing, but I should add that all bondage is dangerous if the right precautions aren't taken. #november09cosmopolitan
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Cynical Media Bitch
10/20/09

@RiloKilo: @Liz668: Thin materials make for knots that are difficult to untie, and they are quite effective at interrupting circulation which can lead to nerve damage.

Safe bondage hints can be found here:
[www.thepeeq.com]

and here:
[www.eyerawk.com]

It's all fun and games until someone loses use of a limb, people. #november09cosmopolitan
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femme-bot
10/20/09

@elliebean: Are ties dangerous? #november09cosmopolitan
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elliebean
10/20/09

@femme-bot: See the response right above you, those links are great.
In my opinion, anything can be dangerous if you aren't watching for signs of damage, or if you ignore the person who is tied up (a complaint related to numbness, tingling, discomfort). If you're the one tied up, saying something is a good idea if you feel tingly or numb anywhere. And having a pair of scissors on hand is a must. #november09cosmopolitan
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femme-bot
10/20/09

@femme-bot: Or belts?
EDIT BUTTON?! #november09cosmopolitan
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RiloKilo
10/20/09

@elliebean: Ah, I see. Thanks! #november09cosmopolitan
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femme-bot
10/20/09

@Cynical Media Bitch: Oooh, those are handy! Thanks! #november09cosmopolitan
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elliebean
10/20/09

@femme-bot: I know! I can't see mine either! Where's my pencil? #november09cosmopolitan
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lurkerbynature
10/20/09

@cand86: This. And a slip-knot? Hi. I like my blood circulating, thank you very much. #november09cosmopolitan
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Melpomene
10/20/09

@elliebean: But suggesting safety tips takes all of the (*gasp*) spontaneity from sex. You might actually have to plan and buy rope ahead of time!

Silk scarves and neckties are also a really bad idea in that someone might be hesitant to cut them ... and, if you're an amateur at tying knots, you're more likely to need to cut the other one out.

Though, proper bondage is one of the best places to put all that Scouting knowledge of knots to work. #november09cosmopolitan
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Faster.Pussycat
10/20/09

@cand86: Handcuffs, kids, invest in some handcuffs. Invest in those fake fur covers that go over the handcuffs, too. Uh, I mean, I've heard. #november09cosmopolitan
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Scoithniamh
10/20/09

In reply to November Cosmo: "Bad Girls" Always Bend To Their Boyfriends' Whims
Wait, what? They're actually claiming that Red Bull Vodkas can KILL YOU? #november09cosmopolitan
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
10/20/09

@Scoithniamh: It's Red Bull Vodka in the library with a lead pipe! #november09cosmopolitan
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