Journalists boost brothel business in Sydney during the Pope's visit. • Women over 16 near Teesside beach in the UK can pay 5 pounds and don a bikini to set a new world record on Sunday. There is "no upper age limit." • Hundreds of angry pregnant women in Australia plan to "storm" a hospital that is shutting down its maternity unit per the government's instructions. • Showjumpers in England make a "desperate" attempt to drum up publicity for their sport by having two young female showjumpers pose without their pants. • A nurse in England gave the wrong woman an abortion after she failed to do a background identity check and followed anonymity rules at the clinic to protect women seeking the procedure (the two patients shared the same first name). • Former Olympic track star Marion Jones applied for a federal commute of her six-month prison sentence after she was convicted of lying to federal agents about her performance-enhancing drug use. • The latest strange female aphrodisiac out there? Donkey skin. • It is serious puppy face time!

But the article notes that we're living in a world where triggers for thinking about death are everywhere — from a news report on Iraq, Burma or China to a car accident you see on the way to work — is it any wonder there's an obesity epidemic in this nation? The question is, what can we do about it? Is there a way to escape our escapism? Distract ourselves from our distraction? Why does soothing your mental heath mean hurting your physical health? Why, mother nature, why? And if you're thinking about death all the time and eating cookies all the time, aren't you just incresing your chances of dropping dead? Sigh. The next time anyone says anything about you snacking, tell 'em you're trying to deal with your crippling thoughts of mortality. And have another cookie.

Thoughts Of Death Make Us Eat More Cookies [New Scientist]

So like, this site. Do you sometimes feel like it's the only place you can have a frank discussion about...well, basically anything...with numerous other females at the same time? Because I sort of do. It's cliche to point out, but most females' approach to dealing with large packs of other females is to 1. avoid and 2. adopt the "bar bathroom line" approach, whereby everyone sort of drunkenly love bombs one another with support and compliments while they wait for their really drunk friend to finish puking and in the meantime, check on their makeup. Maybe the bar bathroom line is the only place girls are forced to confront their shared agenda, which is to 1. find someone to go home with and 2. avoid the gross spectacle of all those girls trying to find someone to go home with. Yeah yeah yeah, okay, I am exaggerating. A lot. But not, I dunno. I feel this way most of the time I spend participating in collective girl-swarm activities such as shopping, or going to loud bars, or whatever else women do together. (Exercise classes? Yeah, no. But the point holds.) Anyway, so like: I can't help sometimes that I had spent more time camping and selling cookies that I had adamantly not baked at home in the company of other females as a youth because now my idea of a good time is generally drinking and I would in no way ever want to bring a daughter into this world kthanxbai.

Girl Scouts Seeks An Image Makeover [WSJ]
Related (Well not really, but kind of weird) Living Lord Of The Rings At A Girl Scout Camp In New Jersey [Wired]

[Los Angeles, March 16. Image via x17]

• Oscar winner Marion Cotillard has conspiracy theories! She questions the attack on the World Trade Center towers: "We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burned for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there (in New York), in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed." Plus! She doubts Neil Armstrong! "Did a man really walk on the moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it, and I really wondered," she says. "I don't believe all they tell me, that's for sure." [Variety]
  
• Are Britney and Adnan Ghalin dunzo? Did she throw his iPhone into the pool after finding "saucy" texts from another woman? [The Sun]
  
• Jennifer Lopez has indeed, as previously reported, named her twins Max and Emme. A reader points out that those were the names of the kids in the cartoon Dragon Tales. WTF? [CNN, YouTube]
  
• Colin Farrell is hooked on Russian steam baths. "There's something very basic about rubbing honey on your skin and going steaming with a bunch of strange Russian men," he says. Well, it's healthier than drugs and alcohol, for sure. [UPI]

• Jamie Lynn Spears' unborn kid is prolly a boy. Hopefully we won't be named Casey Lynn. [MSNBC]
• A new photography show features the tattoos of Lindsay Lohan. Highbrow! [Page Six]
• Family drama! Atonement star James McAvoy hasn't spoken to his father, James McAvoy Senior, in 21 years. And his 18-year-old half-brother, Donald, is in the clink for stabbing a man eight times. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell doesn't believe in marriage, for financial reasons. "The truth is that you get married and in a year or two they clean you out! We have contracts with artists that are 120 pages long and last five years. Then you go into marriage with no contract and the laws are a thousand years old." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Simon was offered a million dollar deal to be the "face" of Viagra. His response: "Sorry, but that has to be a fucking insult." [The Sun]
• What??? A plot to kill Mick Jagger??? Oh... In 1969. [USA Today]
• Aussie model Gemma Ward, who was linked to Heath Ledger, says, "He told me to always be a punk and 'stand up for yourself.'" [Sydney Morning Herald]
• One of Paris Hilton's dogs is "mating" with the Yorkie of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. [Gatecrasher]
• While filming The Other Boleyn Girl, Scarlett Johansson was voted the world's sexiest woman by a men's mag. Some of the crew said she looked more like a grungy teenager; Scarlett heard and "lost her temper." Who could blame her? [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Scarlett is offering herself up on eBay; a night with her is being auctioned off for Oxfam. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton has been seen hanging out with a "bearded guru." [Mirror]
• The spirit guide blessed a necklace Paris was wearing and then advised her to give it away, so some chick at Urth Cafe was the lucky recipient. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which single-ish A-list actor is back to his old ways since splitting with his wife? He was seen handing off a suspicious-looking vial to a hard-partying TV thesp who is about to hit the big screen." [Gatecrasher]
• Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz is opening a punk-themed unisex beauty parlor in his native Chicago, so everyone can be flatironed into oblivion. Joy! [Rush & Molloy]
• Jason Davis, brother of Mischa Barton's ex, Brandon Davis, was arrested for cocaine possession over the weekend. [TMZ]
• Mark Ronson is DJing Suri Cruises' 2nd birthday party? Seriously? [TMZ]
• Sophie Monk has released a statement: "Benji Madden did not leave me for Paris Hilton." Hmm, we never thought that, but whatever. Also: Paris has a new ring on her "engagement finger," is it from Benji? [People]
• Now that the writers' strike is over, Eva Longoria-Parker is getting back in shape, because apparently the pregnancy rumors stemmed from her gaining weight. Except she is plenty thin! What is wrong with people? [People]
• Prince Harry, back home from Afghanistan: "I wouldn't say I'm a hero. here were two injured guys who came back on the plane with us who were essentially comatose throughout the whole way. One had lost two limbs — a left arm and a right leg — and another guy who was saved by his mate's body being in the way but took shrapnel to the neck. Those are the heroes. Those were guys who had been blown up by a mine that they had no idea about, serving their country, doing a normal patrol." [People]
• Rapper Juvenile is "shocked and devastated" after learning that his 4-year-old daughter, her mother and another child were shot dead in their home in Lawrenceville, GA. [MTV News]
• Miley Cyrus and her dad are on the cover of a magazine called Cowboys & Indians. [ONTD]
• A judge dismissed part of actress Hunter Tylo's lawsuit against her late son's therapist. Her 19-year-old son drowned last October and Tylo sued the therapist, who had counseled the family. [UPI]
• Vanessa Williams and ex-husband Rick Fox were making the rounds Saturday, helping their daughter sell Girl Scout Cookies. [Concrete Loop]
• American Idol reject Robbie Carrico swears his hair is not a wig or weave. "I've been growing this hair for a very long time," Carrico says. Perhaps it's time to cut it off? [People]
• Mariah Carey on the cover of Allure! [The.Life Files]
• Will Ferrell's new flick was a dud at the box office, making a mere $15.3 million. [Reuters]

Image stoled from Nataliedee.com.

The campaign's spokesperson is Sally Horchow, the co-author of The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections. Horchow tells the New York Times that her messages on Artofthecookie.com are her "gospel" and that "brands are realizing they have to do a lot more than making something that tastes good... Connecting on a personal level with people makes your life better." Hmm. We're still not sure what eating cookies has to do with making friends. Maybe they need a better campaign, like those old General Foods International Coffee commercials where the women get all horny reminiscing about French waiters and shit. That seems like a lot more fun that emailing your friends with photos of pandas.

Making Social Connections And Selling Cookies [New York Times]
Art Of The Cookie [Pepperidge Farm]

• Recognizing a booty-text for what it is
• Creative ways to hide things in your apartment or dorm room you don't want your mother to see
• Suppressing your inner monologue while on job interviews or first dates
• Drinking copiously without losing your job or dignity
• Check-cashing 101
• Creative calorie-counting (skipping lunch means more margaritas!)
• Coping with the soul-crushing disappointment that is "being a grown-up."
• Living in an society that values large-breasted, slim-hipped, spray tanned, extension-wearing women of questionable talent
• Adobe Photoshop