Wow I am happy to know there is some explanation to the change I've been going through recently. My sex drive used to be out of this world, I was complaining to my boyfriend about having sex once a day not being enough. This happy satisfied customer has been dating this guy a year and a half now and the last 3 months...I've been the one slacking. And I certainly don't find him less attractive, but I've noticed it's hard to switch gears, and I no longer spend parts of my day reliving sexy times. I've also been on the pill 1 year now. I'll have to show him this article because I think he feels he's not working his magic like he used to and in fact I think he's gotten better. But as someone allergic to latex the alternative options in condoms are sooo expensive. The guy has joked about getting his tubes tied..this might have just made me rethink telling him no.
I've never taken hormonal BC and I will say that my desire for sex is much more intense and frequent than all my female friends, all of whom take hormonal BC. I also seem to enjoy sex more than the average - from what I have gleaned from our honest and graphic conversations.
The week leading to ovulation is an insane time in my life. I have no desire to stray from my long-term BF, though (I surely do notice everything about everyone else).
If anyone is not happy on HBC and needs something effective, please look into non-hormonal IUDs. They are not just for women with kids, and are extremely effective.
Question: I've been on the pill for about five years now, and only in the last year have I noticed a significant decrease in my sex drive. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with stress or anything like that; I feel exactly the same except my sex drive has become non-existent. I saw down thread that someone thought that over time, the pill can affect sex drive more. Has anyone else experienced this?
(Oh, and also, I'm only in my twenties, so there's no biological reason this should be happening...)
@RiloKilo: I feel the EXACT SAME WAY. I have been on the pill for nearly a decade, and I've never had an issue till recently. Here I was thinking it was my (amazing, fantastic, sexy, great in bed) partner, which freaked me right out. Maybe it's just the pill?
But I don't want to go off it! I hate condoms, and more importantly, I hate getting my period more than anything. I use the pill to skip it entirely.
@RiloKilo: Are you me? Been on the pill for 7 some years now and in the last year or so have felt a real nosedive in sex drive along with an upswing in PMS moodiness (I'm 25).
I'm looking into an IUD but am pretty intimidated by the whole insertion procedure...
@pear.shaped.Sara: Same here! I read a story here on Jez not too too long ago about having an IUD inserted... it sounded so awful it makes me cringe just to think about it!
I love that these studies think hormones and "immunity profiles" are the only glue holding our relationships together. I met my boyfriend online - I couldn't even smell him!
I think a lot more goes into choosing your life partner than hormones. Romance, anyone? Compatibility? Shared values? No?
Same here - started taking the Pill at 16, only stopped long enough to have 2 kids then right back on. Sex drive seemed reasonable as a teen/20s, and the die-down later seemed easily dismissed by being a parent/no time/hormones whacky from babies, etc.
Sex drive was crazy when I was off to get pregnant but I thought that was just"Get Me Pregnant!" fueling the fire. Oh little did I know!
My husband got a vasectomy last year & I stopped taking the Pill. And wowzers, it's like someone flipped a switch. There are about 10 days in my cycle where I'd have sex all day long if my husband was able. I mean crazy, cat in heat horny all the time. And man, the sex is stupendous. I thought I liked sex before and was a sexual being but that's lukewarm compared to the red hot fire I've got going on now. I feel like a teenage boy. (um. in the thinking about sex all the time sort of way). On the Pill I could take sex or not, I rarely initiated it, and enjoyed it but didn't mind if it was a week (or two) before having it again. Now I'm busting the charts, turned it up to 11, going full throttle - wow!
Mind you, I'm not running out and choosing a new man, so I'm not following that part of this report.
Had I had any clue that the Pill was dampening my sex drive I'd have ditched it years ago. Being on it for so long and all of my adult life I didn't have anything to compare it to. Plus my doc never said anything. I wasn't having any extreme physical symptoms, no one ever asked me how much or often I had sex, or how often I wanted to.
My husband did not enjoy the vasectomy procedure but he agrees that if we had any idea what my sex drive would be like off the Pill he'd have signed up for it 8 years ago (after child #2).
I just had a huge argument with Mr. Vivelafat about our future daughters future RX for the pill. I told him, as soon as she starts having a period, she will have an RX for BC because in my mind, better safe than sorry.
But for some reason he thinks this will encourage our future daughter to have future sex. I don't get this line of thought at all. Do people honestly think that the only thing keeping women from being crazy sex fiends is the thought that they might get pregnant? I guess this study will shut him up, but the underlying sentiment still really bothers me.
@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: don't you hate it when the dude you're with says something so dumb like that? I always just look at the dude like, "bish you serious???" and excuse myself from the room.
@bluebears: I HATE it. The thing is, he was a total slut in high school, so I don't understand why it's ok for the goose but not the gander. It's not like I would force her to be on it, just that she would have an RX that she could fill if she wanted to. No one would have to know. Just in case.
Haha! I, and my anecdotal evidence, throw your study out the window!
Me: Never been on the pill. 22. VIRGIN WHICH MEANS I AM PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOOOOOW. Such as.
My friends (the lady-types): Often on the pill. 17-35+. Often hooking up. Sometimes not. But often with "bad boys".
Clearly, I am genetically superior. Nothing to do with personal preferences, life circumstances, or willingness to hook up with strangers. It's genetics.
Also, I knew a guy who said he could tell when girls/women were menstruating based on smell. Not like... "I can smell your period blood, man, and that is not cool", but as in, "You have a different smell about you today, like pheromones or some shit and you smell totally good". He was about the creepiest creepster that ever creeped, and I was paranoid to be around him, in case he could smell my ovulation or some shit D:
@boxspelunker: We...we are the same person and now I'm scared because I think i love you and does that mean i'm a narcissist?
(beyond the virgin at 22 thing, I once had a guy tell me almost the exact same thing, only he said fertile not menstruating. I cannot believe there are two out there)
@Uncommon Whore: Well, I'm glad there were hearts involved! And one back for you!
@alwayswrite: AGG AGGH that is so scary. There are TWO OF THEM. Maybe he did say "fertile" and not "menstruating". I can't remember, it was a few years ago and I was just... creeped out.
@thebootyfaerie: Well, of course! Science isn't based on evidence! Also, I am pleased to meet another snowpure, like myself. I mean, even though you are tainted by the birth control :D /sarcasm
Isn't it strange how much emphasis they put on "birth control" and not "choices"? I made the choices that I did not because of birth control, but because of my personality and wants. Oddly enough, I think that's what drives most people. HMMMMMMM. #birthcontrol
At least there's a study now that says that the pill can negatively affect libido. Do you know how many doctors told me that didn't happen, despite me knowing the opposite?
@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): I'm so glad (though that's really awful) to know I'm not alone. I've been on the pill since time immortal and for the life of me, I can't work up anything resembling my libido from the Pill's Reign of Tyranny began. And I miss that sense of desire. I can hardly remember what it's like, except for when I watch Twilight and see it reenacted under a low budget by Kristen Stewart and that vampire.
I'm sending this to my husband so he knows I'm not making it up. But what are you gonna do? Ditching condoms is like the one plus of married sex and I know I'm too young for permanent sterilization (despite its ongoing appeal to the right side of my brain).
@schweppes: I'm on Nuvaring and I've suffered the same fate. I used to be a sex monster but now I'm like half assed makeout partner who just wants to get some damn sleep.
The solution I've found is that I have to force myself to initiate sexytimes. Once I get to a certain point, I'm all about it. It's just getting over the initial (heh) hump.
@morninggloria: LOL, I totally feel the same way. I cannot tell you the number of times where I exclaim - I forgot how much fun that was! Even if it was like the day before. But the prospect of sex is always just so uninviting, when the prospect of sleep is ALWAYS AWESOME.
@JerseyGrrrl: any interest in an IUD? my friends all love theirs and the one that has hormones has such a low dosage because it's going right where it's needed that the sex drive decrease isn't as much of a factor.
@morninggloria: I have this issue as well but I chalk it up to extreme old age coupled with laziness paired with a need to watch the latest Real Housewives episode.
@applebrown-betty: i just switched to an IUD after 5 years of hormonal birth control. personally, i went for the hormone-free one (paraguard), because the main reason i wanted to get one was to stop taking hormones.
the pill definitely curbed my sex drive somewhat...only a week off of hormones and i'm already feeling increased friskiness.
seriously, ladies, consider an IUD. my insurance covered most of it, so it ends up much cheaper in the long run, too.
@PootyT: Any down sides? I'm planning on getting Paraguard after my pregnancy, but I dont know anyone who has it. I work in an OBGYNs office, and I only come across a couple of cases that choose copper over hormonal, so I really have no referance point except for my own instincts.
@abagatelle: as morninggloria pointed out, it can cause heavier periods. i've only had it less than 2 weeks, so i can't really say about anything about that or long-term, but so far the worst part was getting it put in. i've never had a full-term pregnancy, and my gyn said that it's usually less painful for women who have had children because their cervix has been stretched. definitely not the worst pain i've felt, though. other than that, there's a slight chance of uterine perforation and infection when it's inserted, but it's very uncommon.
I always found that the pill worked really well for me because it made me so batshit crazy that I would scare the living hell out of any guy who tried to get in my pants. The ring was even worse, considering I never found any dudes that found hysterical crying to be a turn on.
@Uncommon Whore: Yep, this is my story. 2 major long term relationships. And once I went on the pill during them, they each had an expiration date of about 2 months. I become libido-less and insane. I no longer use birth control. I make em wrap it.
I've been on the pill since I was 16. Guess what? I love having sex. I don't really give a fuck about trace amounts of hormones that make me slightly more appealing when I'm fertile. Sorry, but I am not interested in reproducing with some dude I met at a party.
My friends and I have decided that the Pill has affected our parallel parking skills. However, looking back at my past choices, I would (anecdotallyl) back up this research- dodgy one night stands picked up from pub= off the pill. Long term monogamous relationships with sweet guys= on the pill.
I've been on the pill for literally my entire sex life. Started taking it, then started fucking. I have no idea what my sex life would be like without the Pill.
My sex life with it? Pretty fucking great, especially since I don't worry about getting pregnant.
@BeckySharper: same. As long as I've been having sex I've been on the pill so I have no idea if I'd behave differently. Actually at times I've gone off the pill for a few weeks out of sheer laziness and everything has remained pretty much the same.
@bluebears: It takes about three months, give or take, to see the effects of being off the pill. After a few weeks, there are likely still hormonal traces in your body.
But I am in the same boat - I've been on the pill as long as I have been having sex. And I recently went off it, for a myriad of reasons, one of which being I wanted to know how I was mentally, physically and sexually without hormones. It was an interesting experiment, to say the least (I am now back on the pill, as I realized whether I am on it or not, the sides effects really are six of one, half a dozen of the other).
10/07/09
10/07/09
The week leading to ovulation is an insane time in my life. I have no desire to stray from my long-term BF, though (I surely do notice everything about everyone else).
If anyone is not happy on HBC and needs something effective, please look into non-hormonal IUDs. They are not just for women with kids, and are extremely effective.
10/07/09
10/07/09
(Oh, and also, I'm only in my twenties, so there's no biological reason this should be happening...)
10/07/09
But I don't want to go off it! I hate condoms, and more importantly, I hate getting my period more than anything. I use the pill to skip it entirely.
10/08/09
I'm looking into an IUD but am pretty intimidated by the whole insertion procedure...
10/08/09
10/07/09
I think a lot more goes into choosing your life partner than hormones. Romance, anyone? Compatibility? Shared values? No?
10/07/09
10/07/09
Sex drive was crazy when I was off to get pregnant but I thought that was just"Get Me Pregnant!" fueling the fire. Oh little did I know!
My husband got a vasectomy last year & I stopped taking the Pill. And wowzers, it's like someone flipped a switch. There are about 10 days in my cycle where I'd have sex all day long if my husband was able. I mean crazy, cat in heat horny all the time. And man, the sex is stupendous. I thought I liked sex before and was a sexual being but that's lukewarm compared to the red hot fire I've got going on now. I feel like a teenage boy. (um. in the thinking about sex all the time sort of way). On the Pill I could take sex or not, I rarely initiated it, and enjoyed it but didn't mind if it was a week (or two) before having it again. Now I'm busting the charts, turned it up to 11, going full throttle - wow!
Mind you, I'm not running out and choosing a new man, so I'm not following that part of this report.
Had I had any clue that the Pill was dampening my sex drive I'd have ditched it years ago. Being on it for so long and all of my adult life I didn't have anything to compare it to. Plus my doc never said anything. I wasn't having any extreme physical symptoms, no one ever asked me how much or often I had sex, or how often I wanted to.
My husband did not enjoy the vasectomy procedure but he agrees that if we had any idea what my sex drive would be like off the Pill he'd have signed up for it 8 years ago (after child #2).
10/07/09
10/07/09
But for some reason he thinks this will encourage our future daughter to have future sex. I don't get this line of thought at all. Do people honestly think that the only thing keeping women from being crazy sex fiends is the thought that they might get pregnant? I guess this study will shut him up, but the underlying sentiment still really bothers me.
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
Me: Never been on the pill. 22. VIRGIN WHICH MEANS I AM PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOOOOOW. Such as.
My friends (the lady-types): Often on the pill. 17-35+. Often hooking up. Sometimes not. But often with "bad boys".
Clearly, I am genetically superior. Nothing to do with personal preferences, life circumstances, or willingness to hook up with strangers. It's genetics.
Also, I knew a guy who said he could tell when girls/women were menstruating based on smell. Not like... "I can smell your period blood, man, and that is not cool", but as in, "You have a different smell about you today, like pheromones or some shit and you smell totally good". He was about the creepiest creepster that ever creeped, and I was paranoid to be around him, in case he could smell my ovulation or some shit D:
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
(beyond the virgin at 22 thing, I once had a guy tell me almost the exact same thing, only he said fertile not menstruating. I cannot believe there are two out there)
10/07/09
I've been on depo since I was 17 (am 23 now) and am also PURE AS SNOOOOOOOW.
But I like manly men more now. So their theories are clearly a crock!
10/15/09
@Uncommon Whore: Well, I'm glad there were hearts involved! And one back for you!
@alwayswrite: AGG AGGH that is so scary. There are TWO OF THEM. Maybe he did say "fertile" and not "menstruating". I can't remember, it was a few years ago and I was just... creeped out.
@thebootyfaerie: Well, of course! Science isn't based on evidence! Also, I am pleased to meet another snowpure, like myself. I mean, even though you are tainted by the birth control :D /sarcasm
Isn't it strange how much emphasis they put on "birth control" and not "choices"? I made the choices that I did not because of birth control, but because of my personality and wants. Oddly enough, I think that's what drives most people. HMMMMMMM. #birthcontrol
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
I'm sending this to my husband so he knows I'm not making it up. But what are you gonna do? Ditching condoms is like the one plus of married sex and I know I'm too young for permanent sterilization (despite its ongoing appeal to the right side of my brain).
10/07/09
The solution I've found is that I have to force myself to initiate sexytimes. Once I get to a certain point, I'm all about it. It's just getting over the initial (heh) hump.
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
the pill definitely curbed my sex drive somewhat...only a week off of hormones and i'm already feeling increased friskiness.
seriously, ladies, consider an IUD. my insurance covered most of it, so it ends up much cheaper in the long run, too.
10/07/09
10/07/09
"Well! That was really fun! I can't believe that we waited three whole days after last time to do that again."
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10/07/09
It has failed me.
10/07/09
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10/07/09
My sex life with it? Pretty fucking great, especially since I don't worry about getting pregnant.
10/07/09
10/07/09
But I am in the same boat - I've been on the pill as long as I have been having sex. And I recently went off it, for a myriad of reasons, one of which being I wanted to know how I was mentally, physically and sexually without hormones. It was an interesting experiment, to say the least (I am now back on the pill, as I realized whether I am on it or not, the sides effects really are six of one, half a dozen of the other).