Accepting a Young Student Activist Award from the Young America's Foundation at the Reagan Ranch Center in Santa Barbara this past weekend, Giles — best known for posing as a prostitute to try and bring down ACORN — was greeted with adoring cries. The Los Angeles Times just called her "a rock star of conservative activism."

Giles, 20, dreamed up the scheme that brought her and friend James O'Keefe, dressed in some very bad outfits, to ACORN offices around the country, to get some very bad advice from employees. In her handful of appearances so far, Giles has stayed cheerily on message. "When I found out that there was an ACORN housing, I was just like, ‘My goodness. This is why we're in the foreclosure crisis and the mortgage crisis and let's study,'" she told Sean Hannity. "There's obviously bad things going on in these houses."

The Free Republic crowd is salivating. But first they have to contend with her goth-surfer-punkesque father, Doug Giles, a minister, author, and radio host who describes his interests as being "guns, big game hunting, big game fishing, fine art, cigars and being a big pain in the butt to people who dislike God and the USA."

Last month, Doug Giles went on Fox News' Red Eye, not long after his daughter appeared on the show, and discussed how his weapons arsenal and his daughters' jujitsu training should keep away "the dweebs and the dorks and the wimps and the punks and the welfare brats" in favor of the "lawyers and wild men, providers, protectors, hunters and heroes."

Young Conservative Activist Hannah Giles Speaks In Santa Barbara [LA Times]

Unsurprisingly, "Sense and Sexuality" was created by the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, which claims on their website to offer the "leading resource for advice, training, and guidance of young conservative women" (the anti-feminist organization also famously encouraged their members to boycott and protest Ensler's play The Vagina Monologues). Their newest effort is the aforementioned craptastic website, based almost entirely on the work of Dr. Mariam Grossman. Grossman is a psychiatrist and author of the book Unprotected. She also has her own website, where she calls herself "100% M.D. 0% PC" and explains her mission: "I am here to tell you that radical politics pervades healthcare, and common sense has vanished. Who's paying the highest price? Girls and women."

"Sense and Sexuality" takes up Grossman's task of protecting women from themselves and the horrible choices they are bound to make, given the chance, and runs with it. The result is a website that is geared toward college students and claims to provide the "scientific facts" about sex, but only offers little blurbs about how having sex will ruin your life. A section titled "The Facts" features several sentences about convenient studies, mixed with "advice" that read like an order from Big Brother: "The rectum is an exit, not an entrance. Anal penetration is hazardous. Don't do it." And in case you were wondering, oral sex is also out. The scare tactics don't stop there. Sex will also make you depressed ("As the number of casual sex partners in the past year increased, so did signs of depression in college women"), alcohol will make you sleep with gross dudes ("Did you hear? Science has confirmed the existence of 'beer goggles'-when a person seems more attractive to you after you've had a few drinks. Enjoy a glass of wine or a couple of beers at a party, and the guy hitting on you begins to look better than when you arrived...In the morning, you both look different") and getting a Ph.D. will fill you with the horrible emptiness of a barren woman ("It saddens me each time a patient describes this-typically a student who always put career first, and is finally getting a Ph.D. at 38 or 40. She's thrilled to reach that milestone, but aches for another: to feel a new life inside her, to give birth").

One of the best (worst) quotes follows the question "Why can't I stop thinking about the guy I hooked up with last night when he can't remembers my name?" Grossman's answer? Oxytocin (see, they said there would be science!). Oxytocin apparently turns girls into needy messes while having absolutely no effect on men: "When it comes to sex, oxytocin, like alcohol, turns red lights green. It plays a major role in what's called 'the biochemistry of attachment.' Because of it, you could develop feelings for a guy whose last intention is to bond with you. You might think of him all day, but he can't remember your name." For all their claims that this is a "scientific" website, willing to tell you the hard facts where no one else will, this is about as science-y as it gets.

The most frustrating thing about the website is that it offers absolutely no advice beyond just say no! According to "Sense and Sexuality," condoms are bad, birth control is worse, and men are never, ever to be trusted. Sex will lead to heartbreak, infertility, and genital sores. That's it. "Sense and Sexuality" offers no other options the college-aged women they claim they want to help. There isn't even a mention of how sex can be positive within the bounds of marriage. The message here isn't wait until you're ready but instead sex is dangerous, bad, and you should be ashamed of yourself, young lady! "Sense and Sexuality" allows absolutely no sex, not now, not ever, and offers even less sense.

Sex & Sensuality: New Anti-Sex Website Shames Young Women [Feministing]
Sense And Sexuality [Official Site]
Miriam Grossman [Official Site]
Unprotected [Amazon]

"That was 20 years ago," has been the rallying cry of McDonnell's supporters.

Well, fine. 1989 was ages ago, even if the fashions are still with us. But then, how do you explain what you've been doing for most of your career? As the Washington Post article states:

The 93-page document, which is publicly available at the Regent University library, culminates with a 15-point action plan that McDonnell said the Republican Party should follow to protect American families — a vision that he started to put into action soon after he was elected to the Virginia House of Delegates.

During his 14 years in the General Assembly, McDonnell pursued at least 10 of the policy goals he laid out in that research paper, including abortion restrictions, covenant marriage, school vouchers and tax policies to favor his view of the traditional family. In 2001, he voted against a resolution in support of ending wage discrimination between men and women.

Wait a minute. That time frame just shrank from twenty years to eight years. What's up with that?

Then McDonnell tries to play the "I can't be sexist, I have a wife and a daughter" card. Through a statement, McDonnell explains:

[H]e is "fully supportive of the tremendous contributions women make in the workplace. My wife and daughters work. My campaign manager in 2005 was a working mother. I appointed 5 women to my senior staff as Attorney General."

His website even runs with this idea even further, listing testimonials from various women who have worked with McDonnell to explain that he really supports strong women.

Judy Ford Wason, Williamsburg says:

"I know and have confidence in Bob McDonnell. He respects and surrounds himself with strong working women. His daughter served our nation in Iraq. His campaign manager in 2005 was a working mom.

And Janet Polarek, Richmond says:

I speak with direct experience when I say unequivocally that Bob McDonnell supports and champions working moms. He is a true friend to the working mothers of Virginia."

So I guess being a "true friend" doesn't extend to advocating for equal pay.

DNC Chairman Tim Kaine ran in to kick McDonnell while he's down - in an email sent to his core base, Kaine writes:

All people are entitled to their personal beliefs. After years of working with Bob, I believe this article is an accurate reflection of his sincere and long-standing views. But I do not believe that this philosophy, which Bob has worked strenuously to implement as an elected official, is the right direction for Virginia. In fact, I think it would take us backwards and jeopardize much of the success we have achieved in the Commonwealth in recent years.

Creigh Deed's basic governing philosophy is simple – what is best for Virginia. That has been his hallmark during his legislative career and no one voting for Creigh would have to wonder whether he had another agenda.

Burn. But we rolled right into the hard sell, so I wouldn't count this as a TKO.

Ultimately, it is important to maintain a solid grip on the facts presented. I'm sure most of us would say that our views on certain topics do change as time goes by and life goes on. Many of us would not want to be judged on something we wrote twenty years ago.

But it's a little hard to advocate that kind of position when you have a public voting record that demonstrates just how similar the 1989 vision matches the 2009.

'89 Thesis A Different Side of McDonnell [Washington Post]
Virginia Women Respond to Latest Deeds Attack [McDonnell for Governor]
Kaine: McDonnell thesis an 'accurate reflection' of views [The Politico]

As with yesterday, you can play along with our Rush Limbaugh Bingo game — called "Ditto" — by picking a card at random. To change it up a little, make the following changes (if you need to):

• Change "Howard Dean" to "Kathleen Sebelius."
• Change "government spending" to "deficit."
• Change "Speicher" to "elderly."
• Change "lobbyists" to "statism."
• Change "class" to "elitism"

The live-blog — and your game — begins below. May God have mercy on my soul.

2:59 pm: Oh thank God, he's done. Except... "the program never ends." It's like purgatory, it just feels like I'm in hell. But at least I'm free for now! Free at last!

2:55 pm: Oh, yes, you know it's a commercial break.

2:54 pm: Limbaugh has a ditto-head, and likes Laffer, astroturf and details. And he's bought that Dems invented astroturfing, as though it wasn't a lobbyist thing. Also, Dems scheme, etc, etc. Also, no Democrats are "people of faith."

2:53 pm: LaHood is apparently supposed to be loyal to the car companies Obama "owns."

2:52 pm: We're onto clunkers and Ray LaHood.

2:51 pm: Rush is on about Alabama, a bankrupt county and National Guard. Huh?

2:46 pm: Commercial break!

2:45 pm: It's all Socialism. Oh, and Obama plans to destroy all the current health insurance infrastructure.

2:43 pm: Oh, and Limbaugh's position is — I SWEAR — that we shouldn't insure 50 million "more" people because their won't be enough doctors for the people who could already afford health insurance. And so, instead of poor people dying, old people will be killed off.

2:42 pm: A caller swears she's "reading" this bill. Oh, and liberals want to take your rights away.

2:42 pm: DITTO players: statism

2:41 pm: Obama's voice gets sped up like a chipmunk, and Rush doesn't like cupcakes. Also, he repeats Helen Thomas's age, and says Obama will kill her if he can.

2:39 pm: ABC is state-controlled too, according to Limbaugh.

2:37 pm: DITTO players: Harry Reid

2:37 pm: Obama is encouraging all Democrats to lie. Also, to "shove it down their throats." Rush is really, really into deep-throating Obama.

2:36 pm: He calls Hillary voice shrill.

2:35 pm: Rush is re-rerunning the "humor" piece about how Obama is going to kill old people.

2:31 pm: DITTO players: recession

2:30 pm: Tom thinks the best way to stimulate the economy is to reduce the capital gains tax. Because, obviously, how much more people get back in tax refunds next April is the best way to stimulate the economy in August.

2:28 pm: Rush Limbaugh has gone emo, people.

2:26 pm: This dude is, like, seriously, seriously talking about every aspect of his personal unemployment. No wonder he stayed on the line for 2 hours and 20 minutes. And his wife says his self-esteem is really low and he's trying not to cry. Ummm, with his wife health insurance, maybe it's time for some therapy?

2:25 pm: He's not a whiner! He's sent 100 resumes and gotten one call back. You know, like everyone.

2:24 pm: Dude's wife is a "strong working woman" that's been supporting his ass while he listens to Limbaugh and holds on the phone. The man might lose his cable TV when unemployment runs out. Then they might have to do laundry less!

2:23 pm: Rush says that Obama is actively trying to keep people from getting jobs.

2:21 pm: This section of Limbaugh opens with music from the Go-Gos (sure they love that) and we go straight to a caller who's been on hold since noon. And dude is whining — while mouth-breathing — that he got laid off and is thinking of going back into the military. And he thinks Obama doesn't care if he has a job. Except, you know, he's going back in the military. So, he can get a job.

2:18 pm: MOMMY CARE, oh, God, when will it end?

2:16 pm: Limbaugh is getting the definition of astroturf organizing wrong (and makes a Clinton sex joke): astroturf organizing — developed for businesses lobbying efforts, by the way — is to gin up support for an issue by having dudes like Limbaugh talk about it ad nauseum and ad infinitum, thereby creating a movement for or against something that seems to start by people talking to one another but is really designed and led by opinion leaders. Sort of like Rush Limbaugh is doing by trumpeting these town hall meeting protests.

2:13 pm: DITTO players: David Axelrod

2:12 pm: Rush Limbaugh calls him a fascist, and then returns to town hall meetings and insulting Dick Durbin.

2:09 pm: Limbaugh just compared Obama and the health care reform to Iran. If you protest health care reform, you'll be the next Neda, dontcha know.

2:08 pm: Apparently, it's all very nefarious that the White House is attempting to debunk disinformation about health care reform.

2:07 pm: Limbaugh calls his show "the fastest 3 hours in media." Oh, hell, that's the biggest lie yet.

2:04 pm: MOMMY CARE, god fucking damn it.

1:59 pm: Rush thinks that Democrats hate insurance companies are hated because they're making profits, but not by ripping people off. Nope, not at all. Which reminds me, I've got to carve out a couple of hours to call my insurance company to remind them that they do insure me and are, indeed, obligated to cover my recent medically necessary biopsy that they thought I wasn't going to argue about.

1:57 pm: MOMMY CARE! Two days of Rush Limbaugh makes me want my mommy.

1:55 pm: It's commercial time again!

1:53: Rush's latest callers admitted they consider "town halls" a "protest" and they're organized by groups. Rush is like "these aren't community organizers or agitators," the subtext being they're not like ACORN. Of course, it hurts his line that it's all unorganized.

1:51 pm: Rush is now repeating himself about PeePee Jesus, and how the Democrats elect "disgusting" people (unlike Mark Foley and Larry Craig) and can't tell conservatives what to say. Like, word-for-word. I'm guessing he got his script pages mixed up.

1:50 pm: Rush Limbaugh refers to "Dick Durbin" as "Dick Turban." He's a Muslim, too, see? See?

1:49 pm: Democrats have contempt for Real Americans and don't know anything about what people want.

1:47 pm: There's a commercial for private jet time shares by an admitted former alcoholic old guy who mumbles like crazy. For real.

1:45 pm: Rush is claiming that the Democrats are hoping for violence at a town hall meeting to be able to demonize the conservatives to show up. After Tiller got killed, asshole, I kind of doubt that. He's gone to commercial now.

1:42 pm: Some lady from Dripping Springs, Texas is on the phone. She went to the Lloyd Doggett town hall meeting, and thinks that everyone there was individuals. Apparently, he held it in a grocery store parking lot without microphones. I've done one of those, and it went fine because no one booed anyone. "Many people became angry during the meeting" because he didn't know what they knew from listening to Rush.

1:42 pm: Also, Rush thinks that the government will assign you a doctor.

1:39 pm: Limbaugh says businesses will offload health care to the public option (except that, you know, it actually prohibits them from doing so); and now he says the dude will end up under the public option anyway despite being in a union that Obama loves. Or something. It's all quiet bullshitty and confusing.

1:38 pm: Some "entertainment industry" union guy says that he wouldn't give up his union-sponsored plan. That Rush thinks is paid for by his employer, but it actually isn't.

1:37 pm: Limbaugh thinks Al Gore should be in North Korea, and then makes fun of Clinton's voice.

1:36 pm: Apparently, Obama is withholding data on the cars purchased in the clunkers programs, which shows people are buying "foreign" cars, many of which are made in America, by the way.

1:36 pm: DITTO players: clunkers

1:35 pm: Limbaugh is doing a skit? It's about how Obama killed some old dude's wife. By a "white comedian." Big surprise.

1:31 pm: Commercial break.

1:29 pm: Keith Ellison talks about end-of-life care and talking with your family about your end-of-life wishes. That means the other evil Black Muslim wants to kill your parents. Because, really, DNRs and living wills are a terrible idea. Just spend, spend, spend on futile, painful and humiliating end-of-life care. That's the American Way.

1:27 pm: Rush Limbaugh is playing clips from a Keith Eliison town halls, and Rush is saying that Obama won't put his family into his public option, like that's even possible. Fun fact: Keith Eliison is an actual Muslim. Also, a woman says she is happy to go bankrupt to extend her father's life.

1:25 pm: DITTO players: Republicans

1:24 pm: Rush comes back to the strains to disco music. He's talking about Daryl Issa sending a letter to Rahm Emanuell accusing him of threatening people. Rush refers to it as "kneecapping" and — of course — forcing it down people's throats. Lady Gaga and Kid Cudi knows what he's talking about.

1:21 pm: And once you get your diet pills to radically reduce your weight and increase your sex drive, it'll be time for MOMMY CARE!

1:20 pm: Laffer's done, and it's time for another commercial break. "Attention female dieters!"

1:18 pm: Limbaugh thinks that Obama is a power-hungry dictator like Kim Jong Il and Hugo Chavez who doesn't care how many people suffer.

1:17 pm: DITTO players: Larry Summers

1:16 pm: Limbaugh wants to discuss the motivations of stimulus. Laffer thinks it's because all other economists are divorced from reality.

1:15 pm: DITTO players: stimulus

1:14 pm: DITTO players: Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush

1:12 pm: Art Laffer refers to "these people" when talking about the Obama Administration. Laffer wants non-doctors to perform medical procedures and prescribe medicine and tort reform. Laffer and Limbaugh want more Health Savings Accounts because it gives "power and control" to the patients by "allowing" you to use your own money to pay for health care without having to bother with that nasty pooling causing providers to lower costs.

1:10 pm: Laffer is arguing that the health care shouldn't be free to people because we use it too much when we can afford to pay for it. Not untrue, just a-ethical.

1:09 pm: Art Laffer is a dittohead

1:08 pm: So, Rush Limbaugh refers to Laura Ling as "a girl reporter" in a winking kind of tone, indicating Clinton's interest in their release is related to their gender. Also: he calls Hillary "the girl" and suggests that Obama dispatched her — for no reason — to Kenya to "kiss his father's grave" and ignores the fact that Bill Clinton's trip isn't an official visit. But whatevs.

1:08 pm: Ditto players: Hillary Clinton.

1:07 pm: DITTO players: Bill Clinton

1:07 pm: Yes, that was a 12 minute commercial break

1:06 pm: Patrick Warburton just voiced a forest ranger on a Smokey the Bear commercial I find Patrick Warburton extremely attractive. Please discuss.

1:04 pm: MOMMY CARE, bitches, do you not understand that not being there while your children grow up is the wrong choice?

12:56 pm: MOMMY CARE! Driiiiink!

12:55 pm: Yet another commercial break

12:54 pm: Rush says you're way more concerned about their jobs than health care.

12:52 pm: An ACTUAL dittohead says "Ditto!" And he's upset that Bill Press was on Fox News. And Rush — hilariously — says that Democrats are all reading off the same script, sort of like the ones the RNCs use to pass out to Republican talking heads in the Bush Administration (and still do).

12:52 pm: Art Laffer of the Texas Public Policy Foundation (a right-wing think tank) is going to talk about how the Obama health care plan in the nex y hours.

12:48 pm: Rush thinks Democrats just wanted you to "bow down and say 'Thanks for taking care of us.'" Man, Rush has some strange fantasies about what Democrats want him to do to them. Also: commercial break.

12:47 pm: Yeah, in fact, I know he's not quoting from the actual bill.

12:46 pm: By the way, Rush says that if you change jobs, you won't get to keep your same health coverage. Uhhhh, yeah. Also, he's reading from "the" House bill, but he doesn't identify which bill and LET ME JUST GUESS HERE, he's not reading from the one that's going through.

12:45 pm: By the way, even if we did go toward a single payer system, who exactly would be the doctors? The same doctors, right? Just asking.

12:43 pm: Also, Rush says if you don't have employer health insurance, you can only be insured by the government. Me and the 65 million other under- and uninsured Americans beg to differ, asswipe.

12:42 pm: Unions want to "upset" normalcy in America. They'd Obama's "buds".

12:42 pm: HAHA, by the way: America has the best health care system in the world. HAHAHA.

12:41 pm: Rush says that the Administration is "deceiving you" and wants to transfer your rights and liberties to themselves personally by saying that the plan allows you to keep your insurance, which it does.

12:40 pm: By the way, NBC is "state-owned media."

12:39 pm: Rush is now "imitating" Sebelius by speaking in a really high-pitched voice with a lisp.

12:38 pm: DITTO players: Rahm Emanuel, Kathleen Sebelius

12:36 pm: Rush really, really wants you to believe that Obama wants to eliminate private insurance, and attacking the White House press office.

12:35 pm: He didn't. He went back to the Jesus and pee-pee jar again. He's still pissed about that.

12:34 pm: In 2005, the Secret Service investigated an artist who created a piece of art showing Bush being threatened with a gun. He probably isn't going to mention the 33 death threats Obama gets every day.

12:31 pm: By the way, it's another commercial break and an ABC newsbreak.

12:30: DITTO players: liberals.

12:29 pm: "Obama is a big-eared idiot." Rush, by the way, uses a lot of sexual imagery to describe what he imagines Democrats want to do to him.

12:28 pm: "Why is it art when some guy dips a crucifix in a jar of urine... but a poster of Obama as the joker ... is over the line. That poster ought to be framed and hung in a museum! It's art, after all!"

12:27 pm: There's a commercial for poison control, telling you what to do if you've swallowed poison and regret it. Man, they know me so well already. I'm putting down the bleach now.

12:25: MOMMY CARE! It's drinkin' time.

12:23 pm: Rush is now quoting The Daily Mail. Also, Rush doesn't know why painting a black man in white face would be considered racist or offensive. And it's going to get "exciting" after this long, long commercial break.

12:22: DITTO players: blogs

12:21 pm: Rush Limbaugh thinks that Obama is the Joker from The Dark Knight because he: created chaos; wanted to change Gotham City in a way people didn't want; and wears masks. "This is his tactic for fooling white people."

12:20 pm: DITTO players: racist, George W. Bush

12:19 pm: Rush Limbaugh says that Obama's health care will make you all zombies. Rush is also not keen on logos and branding. He thinks it's basically all WWII-esque propaganda.

12:16 pm: Democrats are telling Americans "Screw you!" by passing health care reform because you don't want any changes to health care. Obviously, the 47 million uninsured or 12 million underinsured Americans don't listen to Limbaugh.

12:16 pm: DITTO players: Democrat

12:15 pm: Rush Limbaugh thinks the Democrats unruly mobs (booing and threatening them) are actually orderly. Obama is no longer a "community organizer," he's a "community agitator."

12:15 pm: DITTO players: Chris Matthews, health care

12:13 pm: Seriously, he's back on town hall meetings. Aaaaand, now we're back to Alinsky.

12:12 pm: Rush is freaking out about Saul Alinsky again. Get that? Obama = Jewish radical Communist.

12:11 pm: National deficit. I feel like we're in the way back machine. Amusingly, Limbaugh is now quoting Agence France Press, but he calls the Associated Press "state-run media." Also, he's bitching about companies offshoring.

12:11 pm: DITTO players: Barack Obama deficit

12:10 pm: He's talking about how you don't have any money anymore and aren't spending it. There's no recovery.

12:09: DITTO players: taxes, economy

12:08: DITTO players: Washington Post

12:07 pm: And the game's afoot. Rush Limbaugh thinks you should trust your feelings. Because you're smart, see?

12:04 pm: The Mommy-Care-Not-Day-Care bitch is back. Feel free to fantasize about violent revenge.

12:01 pm: ABC News reports, and I'm spared from listening to Limbaugh for a couple minutes. They're reporting on Bill Clinton's private trip to North Korea (at Al Gore's request) to get Laura Ling and Euna Lee released; the Sotomayor vote this afternoon; cash for clunkers; mortgage modification; and the stock market. Now we're back to commercials. Fun fact: Hot 97 (shouted out by Jay-Z in "Death of Autotune") also airs commercials for "My Baby Can Read."

Just click on this link, pick a card at random. As Rush bloviates, I'll be keeping track while drinking and, in addition to trying to explain what crap he's spewing, calling out when he spews one of the terms on my list (and your cards). It's drunken Bingo!

If you have some urge to listen in, find your local station on Rush's site.

The live blog begins below:

2:59 pm: The lawyer apparently said, "Ben Roethlisberger has never forced himself on anyone, and especially on her." Rush thinks it's stupid to say "especially" and then refers to the alleged rape victim as "this babe." And then he's out for the day. And I'm going to find something to erase the memory of this all. I'll never leave Anna again.

2:55 pm: Rush doesn't have time to talk about lawyers, but apparently Ben Rothlisberger's lawyer said something about the rape case that amazed him.

2:54 pm: Obama is singlehandedly killing the job market, once he's done with the old people.

2:52 pm: This caller thinks Rush is an American hero. And she's talking about the chick who is suing her college over not getting a job, and is calling her lawyer a "Maxist lawyer" and calling her a whiner. Rush isn't totally against the college kid. The caller thinks that everyone is just lawsuit-happy in this country, and Rush thinks us young people are very entitled. They should also get off his lawn.

2:49 pm: Harry Reid brought up Rush wanting Obama to fail, and how that's wanting Americans to fail. Rush swears most people like their health coverage and don't hate their insurance companies. I think Rush probably doesn't know a lot of women. Also, for real, someone thinks Dems would attempt to assassinate Limbaugh because of his opposition to health care.

2:48 pm: Obama would kill old people with his bare hands. And only if they don't complain about their taxes. Also: Rush loves the words "statist" and "statism."

2:42 pm: Old guy who isn't senile wants to live a long time. But Rush says Obama health care will kill him. The old guy thinks HIV patients are getting a better deal than old people in Obama's plan in terms of rationing. Rush is stumbling... Rush says Obama has told old people to just die already. Rush suggests that the HIV patients will get special treatment because they're such reliable supports of Democrats. He's talking about TEH GHEYZ.

2:41: Rush keeps referring to health care as something American

2:40 pm: Believe Rush! He's just voicing your instincts! You're smart! Don't listen to facts! Just Rush!

2:39: DITTO players: Socialism!

2:38 pm: Apparently, the public option means they'll look at your computer. No, that was the PATRIOT Act, Rush. Also, Rush swears, SWEARS, he looks at Chavez shutting down radio stations and wants to do that, too.

2:35 pm: A new caller hates Senator Debbie "Stab-me-now" and keeps calling her Senators and Congressman keeps sending her form letters in response to her many queries.

2:30 pm: Some dude, Lee, is quite concerned that cap and trade might come up for a vote or Congress might pass card check this week. Rush agrees that the Dems might use the same tactics as Republicans did when they controlled the Senate to sneak stuff into other bills. He doesn't say it that way, and then goes to commercial.

2:28 pm: DITTO players: tea party

2:28 pm: Rush's third caller is a dittohead and teabagger and lovers her country and doesn't "want to see it sink into the sea." Betcha that, despite living in Florida, she doesn't believe in global warming.

2:25 pm: Limbaugh says a Supermax prison in Michigan or Leavenworth for Gitmo detainees to stay or try. Limbaugh's not opposed to Michigan for job-creation purposes, despite Harry Reid saying it would never happen. He also thinks all criminal trials have juries. They don't. But you won't get convictions in Michigan, Rush says. You know, because they're all black people.

2:25 pm: Plaxico Burris was apparently indicted for shooting himself.

2:23 pm: MOMMY CARE. I will find this woman, and I will hurt her.

2:21 pm: More ads. And I'm in the final stretch!

2:19 pm: Rush decides, without evidence, that there's government money being spent on this. And we've gotten them drunk.

2:18 pm: A homeless people's soccer tournament has earned Rush-bo's ire. Also, what does he have against the Associated Press?

2:16 pm: Limbaugh says that since the government has a stake in the car companies, Obama himself is making money off the clunkers program.

2:14 pm: Back to fucking clunkers! And Jim DeMint.

2:13 pm: Some chick wants her money back from her college because she hasn't found a job in the last 4 months. I can't tell whether Rush is for the chick and her court-clogging lawsuit or not.

2:09 pm: Back to Sebelius, and she's supposed to track trends in gender disparities in health care by gender. Apparently, this is bad.

2:08 pm: Back to the fucking clunkers again.

2:04 pm: MOMMY CARE

1:54 pm: Second caller! Back to health care. Dude wants to know if there would be an appeals process in claim-denial, and he figures there would be a "judge" to determine them, but he would swing to the left. Limbaugh makes one good point — an appeals process would take forever, which is what disability does. Then he ruins it by talking about clunkers again, then he pretends there won't be one. And it's ADVERTISING time again.

1:53 pm: Limbaugh wants the Chinese to trust us more. But you shouldn't trust the government, you should trust him.

1:50 pm: Robert Gibbs' voice being sped up to make fun of him, too. This is lame/tired.

1:48 pm: Limbaugh is back. Lame.

1:44 pm: DITTO players: public option

1:44 pm: Still talking about the public option. Also, those of you who believe in Obama are screwed. You should believe in Rush.

1:41 pm: Limbaugh speeds up Obama's voice, too.

1:40 pm: Obama doesn't like America. He wants to redistribute wealth or whatever.

1:39 pm: Limbaugh says the government wants to get you into the cars they want, and those cars aren't SUVs. Car dealers in upstate NY selling SUVs hand over fist (because "better fuel economy" means 22 mpg, by the way) would disagree.

1:38 pm: By the way, the stimulus was about creating chaos and distracting Americans. I thought that's what Rock of Love was for!

1:38 pm: DITTO players: stimulus

1:37 pm: HAHAHA Limbaugh uses facts and is reality-based! So he says.

1:37: DITTO players: conservatives, Bill Clinton

1:35pm: "These people" just don't care about you. Also, they're working off Rules for Radicals. Apparently the public option = a single payer system, Rush swears. Obama's just a big liar, etc.

1:33 pm: My friend, Hunter Walker, had a serious accident that left him in critical condition in a coma for 3 days which required multiple surgeries and months of physical therapy. He kept me company for a little bit this afternoon and has this to say about using oxycontin, which he was prescribed for pain while in physical therapy trying to recover from his accident, and Limbaugh.

I think we could make a very good case that Limbaugh's behavior all stems from some kind of opiate induced psychosis the paranoia. Disconnected statements and logics, unexplained bouts of rage: he's basically a semi-funcitoning smack head with a microphone. That type of weight loss is seriously indicative of drug use, look at Matthew Perry on Friends. I weighed like 120 something pounds after my accident from all the opiate puking. You dont get hungry on oxy, you're like always nauseous and you shit black water, if you're luck enough to be regularly shitting. I know this is TMI, but this is what Limbaugh is going through every day along with being high as a kite. Does he make more sense now?

1:31 pm: Yet another break. God, no wonder this shit is all over the airwaves, it must make ad revenue hand over fist.

1:29 pm: DITTO players: economy

1:27 pm: He's talking about lower tax revenues because of job losses.

1:26 pm: Limbaugh refers to the "state controlled Associated Press" and I LOL.

1:25 pm: DITTO players: Washington Post

1:24 pm: Limbaugh thinks it's about time that Republicans get their own people protesting for a living just like the Democrats.

1:22 pm: He's got his first caller! Chris from Indiana wants to talk about the Democrats at town halls, but she heard on MSNBC that the town hall hoopla is coming from tea baggers "in cahoots" with health insurance companies to disrupt the proceedings. Rush says that NBC isn't a credible source for him and he hates Richard Wolfe.

1:20 pm: MOMMY CARE MAKE IT STOP

1:17 pm: Limbaugh plays a clip where people boo Tim Bishop for saying "No one is talking about the government taking over health care" and is saying the dude is lying, not that the public option is the government taking over health care. And he's back to commercials again.

1:16 pm: DITTO players: liberals, polls

1:14 pm: DITTO players: New York Times, global warming

1:13 pm: I just listened to some crazy vet yell at Congressman Bishop about the VA system, and Limbaugh thinks you are smart and educated.

1:12 pm: DITTO players: Democrat

1:11 pm: Supposedly, Sebelius and Specter know they're lying about health care, and you're supposed to "know your place"

1:07 pm: He's ba-ack. He appreciates and respects his listeners, yo. But he has to unburden himself. Who the hell do I think I am? What makes me think that I deserve the same health care as Members of Congress? What do I do each day that is as important as Members of Congress? It's all a big sarcastic rant about how Democrats want to deny you good health care, only, you know, that's what Republicans are trying to do. He's also mentioned Pelosi, Reid, Sebelius, Obama and Frank again.

1:04 pm: Searching for something sharp and poke-y, as the mommy-care bitch is back. I think my roommate hid the scissors after she heard I was doing this.

1:01 pm: ABC newsbreak!

12:59 pm: Oh, Jesus, there is a "Hannity Freedom Concert," and Rush was just interrupted by a female diet commercial pill.

12:57 pm: Seriously, these commercials are going on forever. Is he fucking shooting up?

12:54 pm: The longest commercial break so far. Also, if I have to listen to this stupid woman talking about working from hom and giving her kids "mommy-care, not day-care" I might actually stab something in my ear.

12:45 pm: Seriously, the level that I care about the cash for clunkers program expired 7 minutes ago.

12:45 pm: DITTO players: stimulus (stimulate)

12:44 pm: DITTO players: John McCain, Republicans

12:42 pm: Rush isn't going to really bash the cash for clunkers program because his readers are using to to buy new SUVS, since "better" gas mileage is 22 mpg.

12:41 pm: DITTO players: subsidy

12:41 pm: Rush would like you to think that your taxes are going up.

12:40 pm: DITTO players: Larry Summers

12:39 pm: DITTO players: recession

12:38 pm: DITTO players: Tim Geithner, taxes

12:37 pm: DITTO players: health care (he's been saying insurance up until now)

12:36 pm: Rush has sped up Pelosi's voice to make her sound like a chipmunk.

12:35 pm: Rush wants you to ask what diseases/illnesses/drugs are covered and to what age. Because, by the way, that's the level of detail that goes into legislation and not HHS regulations.

12:35 pm: DITTO players: Harry Reid.

12:35 pm: He's got half his brain tied behind his back just to make it fair. For his listeners.

12:33 pm: There's now a commercial advocating that the government suspend all mortgages for a year and pay the banks for your mortgages. If, however, you rent, well, fuck you.

12:31 pm: I'm about ready to stop drinking and start mainlining Advil. This shit is giving me a headache. Anyone got a good recipe for an Advil cocktail?

12:29 pm: Rush wants you to know that Specter knows what's in the bill that hasn't been written yet so you should still boo him for not reading the bill. Also, then he craps on unions and Philadelphia.

12:28 pm: Seriously, Rush also says she's never been to the Real America. Of course, she's stuck up.

12:27 pm: Seriously, he's obsessed with Sebelius. He says she's contemptuous and part of a cabal.

12:27 pm: DITTO players: Barney Frank.

12:26 pm: Rush is claiming that Congress members are going on junkets instead of doing town halls, and saying none of them have read the bill. Also, that's stupid.

12:25 pm: Rush is playing audio of Sebelius getting booed for saying she was never a Member of Congress.

12:24: DITTO players: Nancy Pelosi

12:24: Commercial block #2 over, includes a PSA for Red Cross.

12:19: DITTO players: clunkers, Barack Obama.

12:18 pm: DITTO players: Sarah Palin

12:18 pm: "They're just mad that I look studly." GROSS

12:17 pm: He's not getting paid by the company, people. He's still really offended that people care about his weight loss. He doesn't think it's ironic that by the time I publish this, he'll have been talking about his diet for 11 minutes.

12:15 pm: He wants you to know, unlike the women on The View say, he's not taking appetite suppressants. But they want him dead. Seriously, 9 minutes of this?

12:11 pm: He refers to Dr. Maria Savard from GMA as their "medical babe." And now you know where all these Republicans think they have the right to bitch about any and everything. Also, I wish Rush would read Kate Harding's book Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere rather than shilling for this diet.

12:10 pm: Wait, we're still talking about his diet?

12:07 pm: Rush's mind is boggled. His producer is Cookie, and Good Morning America trashed Rush's diet and The View didn't like it either. This is the start.

12:05 pm: Five commercials and counting. At least one is a PSA. Rush-bo isn't even on yet!

12:00 pm It's ABC News time! Hoorah, I get a 2-minute reprieve from Rush.

Two of those people are Feministing's Jessica Valenti and Andrew Golis. Valenti got engaged, announced it and opted to answer some probing questions about feminism, marriage and weddings from her commenters. As Salon's Tracy Clark-Flory said,

I finished the post and thought rather cheerily (to the tune of that Billy Idol song): It's a nice plan for a non-white feminist wedding, yeah!

Well, frankly, being kind of uninterested in marriage or weddings, I was more like, eh, good for her, where's my coffee? But same basic idea.

Conservatives, however, seem nearly as horrified at two feminists getting married as they do at two men or two women. Take K-Lo, whose original post has "mysteriously" disappeared from her blog but can be found cached here. K-Lo called Valenti a "Bridezilla" because... Valenti isn't changing her name? Is incorporating her political views on marriage equality into the ceremony? Bought a dress from an organization that gives the proceeds to charity? But if it's not that, it must be just that Jessica Valenti is a feminist and thus she is by definition an overbearing, demanding harpy of epic proportions and her wedding planning is, naturally, no different. I do love a good gendered insult in the morning.

Anonymous douchebag Ace of Spades goes above and beyond in his quest to define marriage as not just for one man and one woman, but for one man and one woman of the same "moral" and political values as his.

Everyone who believes that she was seriously considering delaying marriage until "everyone could," and believes she's looking at her wedding as a "pro-active way to talk about same sex marriage among our friends and family," rather than as Princess' Special Day, please raise your hand.

Your "hand," by the way, morons, is that paddle-like thingee at the end of your arm. You might know it better as your "finger-hoof."

It must be positively exhausting to have to pretend about caring so passionately about so much all the time.

His commenters then go on to throw around insults about Valenti's potential husband's masculinity.

Plenty has been written in defense of Valenti and her decision to get married and to talk about entering into a legal contract with deep roots in patriarchal society — from Jill at Feministe to Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon to the aforementioned Tracy Clark-Flory, all thoughtfully summarizing the hilarity and irony of the right-wingers rejecting two heterosexual applicants to their institution in such a sexist manner. So I could talk about the sexism promoted by K-Lo and AoS, the idea that marriage is only for two heterosexual people who accept traditional gender roles and religious beliefs in the strictest sense, or the idea that feminists are all man-hating harpies who eschew traditional social institutions is a fundamental misunderstanding of the gender equality that feminists are actually trying to bring to the world. But I've been beaten there by some smart women.

Instead, having read enough crap about marriage and what the institution should reflect, I'd like to present you with the conservative's marriage license application.

THE ALL NEW WEDDING APPLICATION

1. Name of the husband-to-be:
2. Name of the subservient wife-to-be:
3. Please affirm that you are both biologically different genders. __ Yes __ No
4. Please affirm that you practice a monotheistic religion regularly. __ Yes __ No
5. Please affirm that you are marrying for the sake of reproduction. __ Yes __ No
6. Please affirm your registration in the Republican, Conservative or Libertarian parties. __ Yes __ No
7. Please affirm that you reject Satan, Keith Olbermann, Nancy Pelosi and all their works. __ Yes __ No
8. Please state for the record that men and women are not and can never be equal. __ Yes __ No
9. Please state for the record that the man will "wear the pants" in your family. __ Yes __ No
10. Please state that you have never had, nor caused to be had, an abortion. __ Yes __ No
11. a. Please state that you are both virgins (if this is your first marriage). __ Yes __ No
b. If this is not a first marriage, please state that you haven't had sex with one another. __ Yes __ No
12. Please affirm your commitment to avoid oral sex of any variety. __ Yes __ No
13. Please affirm your commitment to stop having anal sex. __ Yes __ No
14. Please affirm your commitment to avoid the following sexual positions: female superior; doggie style; reverse cowgirl; from the side; anywhere but a bed; anything involving bondage (of the man); anything involving vibrators; and mutual orgasm. __ Yes __ No
15. Please state the date of your eventual divorce.

You've Never Met a Bridezilla Like a Feminist Bridezilla [NRO originally, now cached]
Jessica Valenti Getting Hitched [Ace of Spades]

Related: Does The Personal Always Have To Be Political? (And Can't It Ever Be Private?) [Feministing]
Adventures in Feminist Wedding Planning [Feministing]
Attack Of The Feminist Bridezilla! [Salon]
"Bridezilla"? Really? [Feministe]
The Bitterness Of Wingnuttery Distilled [Pandagon]

[Photo via "Bridezillas" on WEtv]

Benjamin Edelman, an assistant professor at the Harvard Business School, analyzed anonymous credit card transactions to attempt to find a link between the rise in online porn consumption and division of "red" and "blue" states from a sociological standpoint. "Do consumption patterns of online adult entertainment reveal two separate Americas," Edelman writes, "Or is the consumption of online adult entertainment widespread, regardless of legal barriers, potential for embarrassment, and even religious conviction?"

Ewan Callaway of New Scientist analyses Edelman's findings, noting that after Edelman factored in population density and broadband usage, Utah was actually the state with the most online porn subscriptions per 1000 broadband users. Conservative states made up the bulk of the top ten, in terms of porn subscriptions. As Callaway notes, "Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama."

Edelman notes a difference in porn preferences between red states and blue states: "Using individual-level data from a Hitwise sample of ten million anony- mized U.S. Internet users, Tancer (2008), finds that adult escort sites are more popular in "blue" states that voted for Kerry in 2004, while visitors from the "red"
states that voted for Bush in 2004 are more likely to visit wife-swapping sites, adult webcams, and sites about voyeurism," a fairly fascinating insight that could surely be explored further.

Church-going porn subscribers also tended to download less porn on Sundays, as church attendance provided a drop in porn usage. States that banned gay marriage had 11% more porn subscriptions than states that had not banned gay marriage. And, as Callaway notes, "States where a majority of residents agreed with the statement "I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage," bought 3.6 more subscriptions per thousand people than states where a majority disagreed. A similar difference emerged for the statement "AIDS might be God's punishment for immoral sexual behaviour."

Conservative hypocrisy is no surprise: anyone who has watched the Republican party fight off allegations of bathroom sexual encounters, child molestation, and prostitutes has witnessed the "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" philosophy that seems to sweep through the right-wing on a regular basis. Yet Edelman's research provides evidence of said hypocrisy; those who feel it necessary to judge others on their sexual choices and "morality" seem to have no problem accessing pornography, which many religions view as immoral and wrong.

And yet although the red states tend to view porn more often than blue states, Edelman finds that porn is a fairly purple subject, accessed in each state across the nation: "When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different."

Porn In The Usa [New Scientist]
Red Light States (PDF) [Journal Of Economic Perspectives]

Jindal's commission is intended "to propose programs, policies, incentives and curriculum regarding marriage and family by collecting and analyzing data on the social and personal effects of marriage and child-bearing within the state of Louisiana." Which sounds like it could be okay, I guess, until you look, as Bilerico's Steve Ralls did, at who is sitting on the Commission.

Among those who have been appointed by Jindal to serve on the Commission are Tony Perkins (who hails from Baton Rouge), the president of the anti-gay advocacy group known as The Family Research Council . . . Gene Mills, executive director of the far-right Louisiana Family Forum . . . Mike Johnson, senior legal counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund . . . and numerous members of the clergy. All, Jindal has said, "have significant academic and/or professional expertise" on issues of marriage and family.

And each has a long history of spouting anti-gay rhetoric, too.

Jindal, as Ralls notes, already rolled back a previous executive order banning discrimination against state employees and contractors based on sexual orientation, so he's not exactly gay-friendly. With the new focus by the conservative movement on the supposed damage that will be done to children by merely seeing two people of the same sex in love, you can expect Jindal's commission to push for legislation or policy to limit gay adoption and push an anti-same-sex marriage agenda, which he's probably make a cornerstone of his 2012 campaign. But, you know, maybe he's just trying to stave off another Hurricane Katrina by driving out teh gheyz as John McCain's buddy John Hagee suggested?

Ah, discrimination! The true Real American value.

Jindal's Latest Attack on Louisiana's Families [The Bilerico Project]

Related: Adoption Ban Targets Gay Couples, Critics Say [LA Times]
Some Hateful, Radical Ministers — White Evangelicals — Are Acceptable [Salon]

Dr. Healy, former president and CEO of the Red Cross sees the conservative values of both groups of teens who were studied as "traits worth noting" because they had what she sees as positive effects on the teenagers' sex lives:

The more sexually conservative teens, pledge or not, held more negative views toward condoms and birth control, though half or more used both regularly. Nevertheless, these more conservative teens had less risky sex (for example, more had had only one partner in the prior year). Perhaps most notably, they reported losing their virginity at, on average, 21 years of age. Among most youths today, sexual activity begins closer to age 17.

Waiting until age 21 to have sex may not be waiting until marriage, but it certainly does point to a grand public-health direction that would make teens healthier and parents happier.

First off, Dr. Healy gets the information about these teens losing their virginity at age 21 wrong: the study found that more than half of both groups had had sex for the first time by age 21. So basically, on average, most of these kids had had sex by the time they were 21, they were not losing their virginity at age 21.

Dr. Healy lists the conservative traits of the two teen groups as positives, including:

6. More negative feelings about having sex or using birth control

7. Strong sense of guilt about having sex, with a bit of worry about upsetting mom.

Let's see: sex guilt and negative feelings about safe sex, gee those all sound like healthy values that a licensed medical professional should be promoting!

Dr. Healy equates conservatism and religion with lowering the frequency of teen sex, therefore making it safer even if the teens are developing unhealthy attitudes and practices when sex is concerned. However, Dr. Healy doesn't note that a teen doesn't need to grow up in these types of environments in order to avoid teen pregnancy and a risky sex life; these are simply the traits of the families that were studied. In fact, blue states have the lowest rates of teen pregnancy and divorce, which shows that not only can liberals raise teens who don't get pregnant, but they can also (hopefully) teach them that sex and birth control isn't something to feel bad about.

7 Factors That Foster Teen Virginity, Pledge Or No Pledge [US News]

Earlier: No Sh-t: New Study Finds 'Virginity Pledges' Ineffective, Promoting Unsafe Sex
As Abstinence Pledges Falter, A New "Middle Class Morality" Emerges

MEGAN: It's Friday, and I am sooooo looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.

LATOYA: You know, I must say, it is really nice to have a four day workweek. There's always a three day weekend. But don't worry — my spot is a non profit, and we're advocating for everyone to have a 4 hour work week! We should succeed in a few years, faster if the economy implodes and we convince businesses that happy, productive employees need Friday off and full benefits.

MEGAN: I like your ideas, but somehow I have this chorus running through my head.

LATOYA: Blows kisses. But I still love you Megan!

MEGAN: I am too grumpy in the morning to love almost anyone. I'll love you, too, at about 11:30.

LATOYA: Whatever — we need to spread some love around. Did you see the news? East Asia is looking to set up a funding block to protect themselves from financial crisis.

MEGAN: Ahh, the sweet siren song of capital controls! Nicolas Sarkozy will probably point to that as a reason to re-think Bretton Woods.

LATOYA:

East Asian nations have pledged to set up an $80bn (£51.2bn; 63.6bn euros) swap scheme by mid-2009 to help protect the region from financial turmoil. The move by the 10-member Association of Southeast Asian Nations (Asean) is backed by South Korea, China and Japan. Countries could borrow directly from the fund in times of emergency, to boost liquidity. The meeting comes as 43 European and Asian leaders meet in China to discuss how to tackle the financial crisis.

See, this is why we need friends. Rugged individualism isn't going to put 80bn in a pot for us to share. Where the hell is the coalition of the willing? Can we get some help?

MEGAN: Isn't it starting to seem like rather than try to prevent the inevitable from happening — and rather ineffectively — we should start planning for how to get out of it? Like, put some of our money toward that?

LATOYA: It's like Dubya read How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, thinking it was Carnegie's book.

MEGAN: The coalition of the willing told us to go fuck ourselves about the time that McCain declared diplomatic war on Spain (if not far earlier).

LATOYA: One would think it's time to reevalaute how we — as a government and as a nation — view money, investments, solvency, humans and capital.

MEGAN: Workers are a fundamental of the American economy, and they are strong. Strong enough, one hopes, to survive unemployment and a recession, but since they'll still be strong we can totes not call it that. It's a mental recession, for a nation of whiners that are nonetheless fundamental and strong.

LATOYA: That's a lot of strength there. But, umm, can we drop the bullshit for a second.

MEGAN: Is that allowed? It's a Presidential campaign.

LATOYA: See, unlike a maverick (which I learned from my friend Alyssa Quart is an unbranded calf), I am a patriot. I shocked the hell out of my friends by admitting this — they wanted to put me in rehab.

MEGAN: You only love the Fake America, though.

LATOYA: But I really do love my country. And I do believe that America is destined for greatness, if we can stop letting asswipes who fear every little thing stay in charge.

MEGAN: Well, then this might make you happy: the GOP is expecting to lose between 11 and 23 House seats, including Bachmann.

LATOYA: Courtney (of Feministing) has this cool interview on Alternet with Deborah Stone who wrote The Samaritan's Dilemma: Should Government Help Your Neighbor?. I think this interview gets at part of the reason why the GOP is imploding. Basically put, this mess isn't working. I know no one wants to pay more taxes. I sure don't, and Joe the Plumber isn't gonna no matter what. But seriously — an educated workforce with basic needs taken care of benefits everyone.

MEGAN: It's an interesting argument, actually. Adam Smith argued that the market and competition fostered trust and interdependence, and that's the basis of a lot of capitalist/democratic theory. But the way this has played out, you sorta gotta wonder about whether that's true. Even economists recognize the value of social goods, though conservatives like to forget it and whine about eliminating the Department of Education.

LATOYA: And with as much money America has, it's shameful that so many of us working (fake or real) American citizens have to hustle and scratch for the basics — and for what? Yeah, Adam Smith's work gets so perverted sometimes. They just pick the parts they like (endless consumption!) and jettison the parts they don't (accountability!) The interview gets really good here:

CEM: You argue that conservative leaders — especially Reagan — have convinced American voters that interdependence is weak and shameful and that rugged individualism is realistic. You also show the ways in which joyful interdependence plays out around us constantly in our personal lives. Why, given our everyday experiences of altruism, did we take to the notion that it was weak writ large?

DS: Partly, I think, the conservative notion of freedom (not having to do anything you don't choose to do) taps into the painful truth of human development. Each of us grows from a helpless, dependent and powerless creature to a reasonably competent and independent adult with a high degree of autonomy. From our teen years on, we savor that freedom from adult control, even as we watch our elders sometimes become frail and revert to childlike dependence. Perhaps that's why it's easy for leaders to evoke terror and shame in us by speaking of dependence.

Partly, too, our culture celebrates individual achievement. Even team sports hype their MVP awards. From the time we're born, when our parents get our Apgar scores of infant health, we are constantly subjected to measures of our individual merits — athletic abilities, intellectual abilities, job performance and financial accumulations. Schools emphasize individual accomplishment, and teachers punish collaboration as "cheating." When parents, schools, employers and others reward people for individual achievement, this way of thinking pushes interdependence into the background of everyone's consciousness. We begin to believe that individuals can do it all on their own if they try hard enough, and we lose sight of all the ways people get help all the time.

MEGAN: Yeah, I haven't lived at home or been financially supported by my parents since I was 18, and even then I had to buy my own shit with the money I could make off of umpiring and temping.

LATOYA: Right — so I don't want to hear that try hard shit. I did. And I do well for myself. But goddamn it, we need more.

MEGAN: Plenty of people try hard and still don't get much of anywhere. And some people don't try at all and get to go places you and I will never be.

LATOYA: Exactly. Like the Real Housewives of ATL.

MEGAN: I was having this conversation over the weekend about my grad school, which was chock full of people from money, many of whom had never gotten a paycheck. And I was working 2 internships — one paid and one unpaid — to make enough money to pay rent and have stuff on my resume that wasn't "Assistant Systems Administrator," so I was always going to class in business clothes (from Marshalls, mostly) because I was going to or coming from work. And I found out later that everyone just thought I was fancy — it didn't occur to people that I was working.

LATOYA: Yeah, some people really don't understand that you can't just ask your parents for money to cover things sometimes because your folks don't have it.

MEGAN: Many of those people have way more money than I can imagine, and it's not because they had bootstraps.

LATOYA: And a lot of people in power willfully shut their eyes to this. We're not saying "take money from the ungrateful rich and redistribute it to the deserving poor." That's a load of fucking bullshit. We're saying, if people with means chip in a bit more and help out those with less, we will all be far better off.

MEGAN: Also, it's a progressive tax system, motherfuckers, it actually exactly means that if you make more money, you're supposed to pay more taxes. (Sorry, I finally saw the "I'm Joe the Plumber" commercial last night and nearly threw my beer at the TV when that came up)

LATOYA: The fate of a nation falls to all of us — not just those with means. And so if we only consider the needs of those with means, while blindly hoping that one day we will have more means and be rich, we have put ourselves in a precarious position. I'm so over this fake class war though.

MEGAN: I'm over wars in general.

LATOYA: Not the stratification of wealth — that's real — but the manufactured Joe the Plumber bullshit. Luckily for us, it appears that the modern conservative movement is cannibalizing itself so maybe we can have a real conversation about these issues once the election is over with.

MEGAN: Also, it's a little ironic that a conservative talk radio station collected money from listeners to pay his back taxes. Apparently, it IS patriotic to pay more in taxes to help others, as long as it's a white dude who makes $250,000 a year.

LATOYA: See, look at that — a classic example of tribalism, right there. Where's Pat Buchanan's outrage over that? Oh wait, I forgot — it's only tribalism when someone else is doing it. I do hope the GOP implodes and recreates though. You can't have a debate with the willfully stupid and all the smart conservatives are kind of just drifting right now.

MEGAN: Pat Buchanan's outrage is reserved for Colin Powell.

LATOYA: It's like they can't believe what's happening either. (Oh, and like Colin Powell gives a shit what Pat Buchanan thinks. That mofo needs to sit down. The only reason I tolerate him is because he is wealth of comedy for Rachel Maddow.)

MEGAN: It's the fundamental problem with the coalition they built, and with the voters they've encouraged this year. They are the know Know-Nothing party.

LATOYA: Yeah - look at this Jonah Goldberg douchnozzle.

MEGAN: Fucking Jonah Goldberg needs to stop wearing too-tight lace thongs, because they are obviously riding up and cutting off the blood to his brain.

LATOYA: Let's revisit the obvious here. People who aren't affected by racism don't need to comment on when it is or isn't happening? How the fuck would you know?

MEGAN: Well, it's unfair to say that Jonah is unaffected by racism, since he's a racist. It affects him daily.

LATOYA: No, he affects other people with his abject ignorance.

MEGAN: Oh, but dontcha know, racism is just a "false memory."

Instead, Obama has set off a case of full-blown race dementia among precisely the crowd that swears Obama is leading us out of the racial wilderness. Rather than shrink, the tumor of racial paranoia is metastasizing, pressing down on the medulla oblongata or whatever part of the brain that, when poked, causes one to hallucinate, conjure false memories and write astoundingly insipid things.

We're all just paranoics, and we should sit down, shut up, smile and pretend that everything in America is hunky-dory. This, however, is the most blindingly stupid and offensive line of the piece: "[Barack Obama] explicitly chose to have a racial identity when he didn’t have to..."

LATOYA: I've been searching my site for that story where the dude burned a cross on someone's lawn and his mom tried to argue that it wasn't racially motivated or that time when we had to post about racial code words since blacks were getting called "reggins" at work (that's nigger, backwards, for those of y'all still sleeping) but it's all there. All our stuff on identity is there, it is obvious that racism isn't a problem that goes away by people not talking about it.

MEGAN: All not talking about it does is allow people like Jonah Goldberg to not get called out for being racist.

LATOYA: When has that ever worked? Can I ignore my fucked up credit and tell a creditor that my BoA bill was in the past and we all need to move on? No — we have to deal with that shit. And the sooner people like Jonah Goldberg shut the fuck up and get out of our way, the better.

First off, I participated in a study like this once in college (I sold my body for science pretty regularly; I was poor). The scientists wanted to see whether actual fear or just worry had an impact on sexual arousal, so they set me up with a sensor in my cooter and a randomly-rotating series of film clips that including porn, nature videos that did not show animals fucking, and a "scary" scene from the movie. That scene, unfortunately for them, was the dental-torture scene from Marathon Man. I say "unfortunately" because I am not scared of dentists and so I just busted out laughing and probably skewed their results. The same standard applies here: pictures can or can not be frightening to people, depending on their phobias or preconceived notions. One could just as easily say that conservatives are more prone to being afraid of bugs, or that liberal have more exposure to bugs since they're "outdoorsy" or something and thus aren't scared. Like, you want to get that enormous spider crawling on my face, I think I'd react with plenty of fear, but looking at it once removed it totally fine. I could also argue with the sample size and homogenous population of the study, but at least the author, John Alford, acknowledges that as a flaw.

Look, it's a brilliant study for an election year because it allows people to spin it anyway they want — and if the Newsweek article and the one in the National Geographic News are any indication, people have already started. Conservatives are scared of every little shadow! Liberals aren't scared enough! Politics has its roots in biology! The red state-blue state divide cannot be overcome! Like any survey, you can pull out the conclusions that you like best — and most people will.

Ummm, oh, and Alford thinks that Mark Penn is has "a sort of folk wisdom that exceeds the general knowledge, and even the academic knowledge." Okay, now, that's some scary shit right there.

Are You More Likely To Be Politically Left Or Right If You Scare Easily? [Scientific American]
Spiders, Maggots, Politics [Newsweek]
Conservatives Have Stronger Startle Reflexes? [National Geographic News]

Within 24 hours, I snapped and replied to some unwitting e-mailer that I found the comments disgusting and that what we really needed to think about was who we were trying to convince — and what we were trying to convince those people of. Well, if the polls that show women flocking to the McCain ticket and the response she's engendering from conservatives is any sign, we've convinced some people of one thing — that many feminists are feminist only to other feminists.

Now, naturally, few of these conservatives are exactly noted feminists themselves, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or a Wasilla mayor) to smell an opportunity to marginalize feminists or point out hypocrisies obvious enough to drive a wedge between liberal feminists and the very women that many of us have been trying to convince to vote for Barack Obama. Take Michelle Malkin, for example — hardly the kind of opinionated conservabloggier that I tend to agree with. Last week, she pointed out the opprobrium that rained down upon Sarah Palin's head for working late into her pregnancy, returning to work early and staying in a demanding job while parenting a special-needs child. She also pointed out that plenty of it came from female journalists who themselves have children and extremely demanding careers. Of course, she called them hacks and water-carriers for Obama, but that's Malkin for you — and it doesn't make her point less valid or accessible to the women that Obama needs on his side.

Then there's noted feminist scholar Jonah Goldberg, who manages to decry sexism and feminist hypocrisy even as he compares feminists to "stuck pigs" and says that one might resemble "a childless feminist who looks like a Bulgarian weightlifter in drag." But, he also hits up Gloria Steinem's OpEd, Cintra Wilson's screed and professor/columnist Wendy Doniger's truly offensive statement that Palin's "greatest hypocrisy is in her pretense that she is a woman." Because, really, there's no better way to win over independent women voters than to question their gender because of their political or religious beliefs. Women on the left should not be denying one another's womanhood because of disagreements about abortion and religion anymore than we should be allowing men like Rush Limbaugh to decide who is or is not a feminist. The problem with Goldberg's piece is not his glaringly offensive stereotypes and generalizations about feminists, it's that he can say all kinds of offensive things about mannish, childless women and it's still only barely as shocking as a feminist saying a person cannot be a Republican and a woman at the same time. And the latter bit is the only thing that's going to get a lot of traction in Central Pennsylvania, Ohio, Colorado and Michigan among the women that have swung every election for the last two decades.

Libertarian Cathy Young (who really could never annoy me as much as Goldberg or Malkin) writes a far more reasoned and compelling piece today in the Wall Street Journal asking why feminists hate Sarah Palin seemingly beyond reason. She hits some of the same shock quotes as Goldberg before her (and me before him, actually) and says that, from her perspective, Palin's "pro-life feminism [and] small-government, individualist feminism" is more attractive than a kind of feminism that requires government intervention to achieve equality. That's the kind of argument that will play well with independent women voter. It also makes its point about the feminist "hatred" of Palin without reverting to stereotypes about looks and doesn't dismiss the notion that choice is a concern for American women. This is far, far more convincing to the people that need to be convinced — you know, those 30-40 percent of voters in the middle — than arguing that Sarah Palin isn't "really" a woman.

Finally, even Elle's political blogger, Lucy Morrow Caldwell, gets in on the action, chastising South Carolina Democratic Party chairwoman Carol Fowler for saying that Palin's "primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion" (even as she mucks up Fowler's position in the party). Caldwell also says that no one ever suggested about Obama that "his race was the only reason he'd become a candidate in the first place," a statement that is not entirely true, as Geraldine Ferraro no doubt remembers. But few people are going to take the time to point out these inaccuracies in the politics blog of a fashion magazine, and the issue of feminists "bashing" Palin for gendered reasons allows Caldwell to gloss over the part where she herself would be "more cautious [than Palin] on certain foreign policy fronts" in favor of hitting up the mean, mean feminists.

It's not like I don't understand where the anger is coming from. I have heard often enough from liberal women that they don't understand how women can even be Republican...without, of course, ever actually asking one and listening to the answer. I also understand that, in the absence of comprehensive public record of Palin's stances on issues like pay equity or government-funded childcare, it's easy enough to attribute McCain's (bad) stances on those issues to her, especially since, as his running mate, they in effect are her new stances on those issues — and it's easy to conflate hating her positions with hating her as a person. For many women, she seems to be trying to have it both ways, to trumpet her family values and her careerism in a way that Republicans have often bashed other women for doing.

But, most of all, I think the attacks are coming from a place of insecurity that Palin (and all that comes with her) might soften the McCain campaign enough for him to triumph in November. And so if we rail against her, if we play the game of politics by their supposed rules and castigate her for the things conservatives have castigated liberal women for for decades (see: Hillary Clinton) then maybe they won't vote for her and him. The problem is that each party stands by its own hypocrites (see: Congressmen John Mutha and Jim Moran on the left and Senators David Vitter and Larry Craig on the right), so all we're doing by bashing her is inspiring a defense by her ideological compatriots and re-branding feminism as something that defends only liberal women against bias (and that denies a woman's womanliness if she dares to disagree politically, which is straight out of the Republican play book). That's not my feminism and that's not my idea of equality — and, for a lot of moderate women, it's not theirs either.

Polls Show Big Shift To McCain Among White Women [Reuters]
Is Sarah Palin a Feminist? Friday Feminist Fuck NO. [Feministing]
Sisterhood of the Protected Female Liberal Journalists [Michelle Malkin]
Feminist Army Aims Its Canons at Palin [National Review]
All Beliefs Welcome, Unless They are Forced on Others [Newsweek]
Why Feminists Hate Sarah Palin [Wall Street Journal]
Right Angles [Elle]
S.C. Dem Chair: Palin Primary Qualification Is She Hasn't Had An Abortion [Politico]
Ferraro’s Obama Remarks Become Talk of Campaign [NY Times]

Probably the former. Yes, families where both parents are present in the children's lives are more stable and ultimately create a better environment for children, but Grove is implying that parents need to not only be married for children to thrive, but the man needs to be working and providing ("responsibility") for his young while the woman stays home and cares for them. Why not promote a society where single mothers can provide for their children on their own? Grove says that the Conservative government will provide a maternity nurse service for families who need help during the first days after childbirth, but there is no mention of this service being available to single mothers (or fathers) who have a newborn. An emphasis is placed on the relationship between the father and mother, implying that they are together.

And what does Grove think of women's magazines? While he condemns lad mags' presentation of a "narrow conception of beauty and a shallow approach towards women," he praises women's magazines (and their publishers) for addressing their readers "in a mature and responsible fashion." So, being obsessed with materialism, being fearful of any beauty "imperfection," and constantly being reminded that the attention of men is necessary to live a happy lifestyle is "mature"? Has this dude ever looked at a women's magazine?

Lad Mags Linked To 'Social Ills' [BBC]
'Lads Mags' Condemned Over Images Of Women [Telegraph]
Poll" Do Lad Mags Make Men Feckless? [Guardian]

• New York City police arrested Al Sharpton, Sean Bell's fiancée, Nicole Paultre Bell, and hundreds of other protesters today for staging prayer sessions at the exits of Manhattan in protest over the acquittal of the cops that shot Mr. Bell. Because, obviously, inconveniencing others to protest the loss of life means you should spend time at Rikers. Why did they have to make me like Al Sharpton? [NY Times]
  
• Hillary's staying in the race despite the hellishly long odds, hoping that Barack will fuck it up and she can convince the superdelegates to anoint her the candidate. [NY Times]
  
• To that end, she had an unannounced meeting in Washington with many of them behind closed doors. There's nothing sketchy-looking about that to the average voter though. [The Atlantic]

• And, goddammit, I find myself agreeing with Bush's threat to veto the "Democratic" housing crisis bill because it's a huge giveaway to shady mortgage lenders at the expense of taxpayers. Yes, that's right, the Republican butt-buddy of industry is criticizing the Champion-of-the-Little-Guy Party for their giveaways to industry. What the hell is happening in the world today? [Washington Post]
• I mean, a Bush Administration flunkie may actually testify before Congress about some shit they pulled! [Washington Post]
• But we resumed ritualized state-sanctioned murder last night. [NY Times]
• The death toll in Burma is likely to rise, and the junta doesn't give a shit about the people anyway so they're procrastinating on letting aid workers in. [Washington Post]
• Lebanon's having violent protests again. [LA Times]
• People are making souvenirs for Jenna Bush's wedding to sell to tourists. Fucking Marriage Industrial Complex. [Fox News]
• Oh, and our government is spending money to try to catch illegal immigrants trying to leave the United States. [LA Times]
• Not that any of that will stop conservatives from being happier by rationalizing away inequality. [LiveScience.com]
• Guess the rest of us will just have to stay frustrated and fatigued. [Reuters]

Dorries' calls America "The Abortion Capital of the World" because the rate of abortion per 1,000 women is 19.4 to Britain's 18.3 (Australia's is the highest in the world, at 20.0). The Daily Mail has a chart comparing abortion laws in 9 different countries; in it, the newspaper lists the "Upper Limit" of legally-acceptable abortions in the U.S. to be 26 weeks. But the reality is that getting an abortion after 12 weeks in many states is outright impossible.

According to NARAL, the pro-choice organization, "23 states have unconstitutional and unenforceable bans that could outlaw abortion as early as the 12th week of pregnancy, with no exception to protect a woman's health." In addition, "15 states have unconstitutional and unenforceable near-total criminal bans on abortion." Zoe Williams points out that "If you really wanted more abortions to take place earlier in the pregnancy, then you would work towards improving access to terminations on the NHS." Similarly, if Americans really wanted fewer late term abortions, they would provide better sex education in public schools and easy and cheap access to birth control. As we said earlier, 87% of counties don't even have access to an abortion provider. And anyway, Dorries is just picking on America because we're so loud and crass and angsty over the abortion issue. If she were really being accurate, she'd go after those abortion-happy Aussies, who "kill babies" even more than we do.

Britain Is 'Becoming The Abortion Capital Of The World' Claims Tory MP Fighting To Lower Legal Limit [Daily Mail]
Fact, Fiction And Foetuses [Guardian]
Abortion Bans After 12 Weeks [NARAL]
We Had Our Babies Under The 24-week Abortion Limit - And They All Survived [Daily Mail]

Earlier: Pro-Life Teen Says "I Feel Like We're All Survivors Of Abortion"