Everyone Taunts a Muslim Woman At 'Ugly' Conservative Benghazi Panel

How's this for a Downworthy headline? Earlier this week, the conservative Heritage Foundation sponsored a panel discussion on #Benghazi and a Muslim woman wearing a headscarf asked the panelists a question. What happened next will truly fulfill every negative conservative stereotype you can imagine. » 6/17/14 9:50am 6/17/14 9:50am

A Bunch of Pro-Lifers Are Trying to Boycott Girl Scout Cookies

Pro-lifers are mad that maybe, possibly, someone at the Girl Scouts of the USA could've conceivably obliquely hinted that Wendy Davis isn't literally Satan. Consequently, a Texas pro-life group is attempting to rally the pitchforks for a boycott of Girl Scout cookies. Attempting to punish a bunch of 10-year-olds over… » 1/30/14 6:00pm 1/30/14 6:00pm

Happy 'Conservative Dudes Shit On Your Rights Day,' Ladies!

To be completely fair, every day is Conservative Dudes Shit On Your Rights Day if you look at things from the right (pun intended) angle. But even in the current anti-letting women mind their own bodies climate, today was special. Isn't it nice to know that some old guys in Washington who you'll never meet care so… » 1/15/14 2:10pm 1/15/14 2:10pm

Women Forced To View Their Ultrasounds Will Have Abortions Anyway

A massive new study has disproved the common conservative notion that women who want abortions are idiots who don't know what a pregnancy is; even after looking at ultrasounds, more than 98% of them went ahead with the procedure. And the ones who did change their minds were among a tiny sliver of abortion-seeking… » 1/09/14 3:15pm 1/09/14 3:15pm

Glenn Beck Threatens to Put All Your Most Hated People In One Room

Ever wondered what hanging out in Hell would feel like? Then, boy, do I have good news for you! Glistening tear biscuit Glenn Beck has recently teased that he is organizing a conservative summit that might include the likes of Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. All under one roof! Oh, and the chairs will be… » 12/18/13 3:30pm 12/18/13 3:30pm

Women Will Vote For You If You Appeal To Their Emotions, Says Man

With all this hullabaloo about conservatives taking classes about how to talk to female candidates for political office (lesson 1 is just a picture of a woman in a power suit with an arrow to her that reads PERSON, followed by a pop quiz where men frown and squint and fill in the same chart, this time with the word… » 12/10/13 3:40pm 12/10/13 3:40pm

Republicans Offer Class on How to Talk to Women Without Being a Dick

The GOP has more problems than a math book with a distant father, but the problem that stings the worst, electorally speaking, is its problem with women. Now, party leaders are doing something about one aspect of that problem, designed especially with the hapless male conservative in mind: sensitivity training. I'm… » 12/05/13 4:30pm 12/05/13 4:30pm

Texas Conservative Students Plan Awful 'Catch Illegal Immigrants' Game

Everyone's favorite chapter of Young Conservatives of Texas is back with another shitty publicity stunt meant to foster dialogue about the issues at the University of Texas in Austin. After they hit the scene with their Affirmative Action Bake Sale (copied from the College Republicans of UC Berkeley) where they sold… » 11/18/13 3:50pm 11/18/13 3:50pm

Poll: GOP Men Don't Think We Need Any More Ladies In Government

Fetch the smelling salts, I'm about to pass out from shock — a new poll reveals that there is a big gap in attitudes between liberals and conservatives when it comes to the role women should play in the government. And— surprise of surprises — the group with the least forward-thinking view of all is conservative men. » 10/29/13 5:15pm 10/29/13 5:15pm

Go Home, Sarah Palin. You're Drunk.

Former Alaska governor and current ??? Sarah Palin, who has a rare condition that renders her incapable of improvement, appeared on Megyn Kelly's show on Fox News yesterday. And it was... even more of a shitshow than most Sarah Palin appearances. Even Megyn Kelly — tough, no-nonsense host Megyn Kelly — had trouble… » 10/18/13 11:50am 10/18/13 11:50am

Government Will Stay Closed For As Long As It Takes to Eradicate Sluts

Now that the government shutdown is in what feels like it elevendieth week, everything seems too stupid to be real, and here's a perfect example of why: the GOP's continued insistence that the United States government remain in stinky, stale deadlock until liberals agree to allow business owners to bar the sluts who… » 10/15/13 7:20pm 10/15/13 7:20pm

Michele Bachmann Outcrazies Herself In Bizarre 'End Times' Interview

Minnesota Congresswoman and firebrand head of the Congressional Whackadoodle Caucus went on the radio this weekend to talk about, I don't know, what she normally talks about I guess? Word barf that reads like Tea Party Magnetic poetry in a blender? But what she ended up talking about — in an excited, unsettlingly… » 10/08/13 12:40pm 10/08/13 12:40pm

Swearing Ladies Are Ruining America, and More Dumb Shit Scalia Says

We all knew that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a testicularly prolific, Judge Judy-level sassy Constitutional originalist who probably turns his chair around backward before he sits in it because he doesn't follow anyone's rules* (*Except the Founding Fathers, and he's a real nerd about it). But in an… » 10/07/13 2:30pm 10/07/13 2:30pm